Nanoha FanFiction Discussion

[SpaceBrotha]

Originally Posted by Satashi

Look at the first page, the second post. That should help you out a little bit.

About your comics, they are neat ^^ Tho I wonder what kind of thing that is, that could floor Nanoha in one hit? I'm interested in seeing more.

Having a problem in viewing the next to last image for some reason >.<

P.S~ Page claim! Claimed in the name of art and story combined!

EDIT: SbtB XVI

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3991951/16/

Enjoy~ (Angel is really busy so I'm posting now so I won't have to bother her when she gets home to do this >< )

Erh... well, i might as well do as you wanted me to: i'll post the damn review/commentary/rambling in here instead of pm'ing it to you...

This will be rather informal, i'm going to comment and point out, and share my thoughts about each individual part of the story, i won't guarantee i will comment everything, nor do i guarantee that my comments actually are useful... or make too much sense

...anyway, with that aside, let me start The Wall:

Spoiler for Wall'o'Text!:

Well, from the start then...
...nothing much to say about the start, though i'm intrigued about the present she gave to candy, and i still find it amusing how candy became attached to nanoha like that, even giving her a silver zippo as a present

“Fate orders a lot of stuff online, probably shirts or something.” err, no it's not...
...and precia gave the package to nanoha of all people, fate can consider herself extremely lucky that nanoha doesn't have even a quarter of my curiosity, or she would have had some explaining to do...
...though don't these types of packages usually have a logo or something on top to distinguish the package?
So wouldn't precia have instantly known where it came from, and what it probably contained... so was giving the package to nanoha intentional then?
a scary thought...

Well, fate survived with a scare through that one, right until precia read through her bills
i've had some similar incidents happen with my dad, regarding bills... Delayed blast scoldings i call them.
and like their flamy cousins in D&D, these too usually have worse consequences than the regular scoldings... back to that in a moment.

Well, i predicted that nanoha would have overheard the scolding and the reason behind the bills size... but instead she ended up owning a raid boss in WoW, i'd say that it's one hell of an archievement, considering how newbie she is to the game, and gaming in general...
...then again, she just did what she does best: Befriend the shit out of someone

Then she goes and turns on the webcam, and i knew disaster would happen, sooner or later...
and as i thought, fate starts hanky panty some 10 lines from that... erh, hope that the webcam isn't pointed so that the bed can be seen from there, otherwise there's going to be all sorts of hell to pay...

Well, they didn't go too far anyway, so i suppose it wouldn't be that bad in either case...
The earlier nude pictures combined with sticky keyboard... now i'm no expert on the matter, but if fate was doing what we ALL think she was doing there, then how the HELL does she get the keyboard sticky as well?

then out of nowhere: Hayates PoV!
right in the start "pressed the points that she loved so much." i think this could have been better worded as "pressed the point in the way she loved so much" or something along those lines, as i doubt that she actually loves the points themselves
also, "so I suppose I put more weight on my legs" you sure you don't want to use "strain" or "stress" instead? you make it sound like she gained weight

regarding the PM you sent me from my last review:
her and yuuno... you going to address what happened during christmas at any point? it WAS a major event in their relationship after all...

Yuuno has already thought out how to spend his incoming cash... wonder if he's thought about what to do incase he doesn't get it after all? for example due to some obscure part of the law or the Enron people stealing it all or something...

...And it would be interesting to see a model in some anime cosplay, though i don't know how well that would help nanohas job as a model...
...back to hayate though, after she mentioned that she wanted to take over managering from signum, i realized that we've still seen next to nothing of the wolkenritter, you really should go and introduce us to them... after all, they are quite an important part of the canon crew.

And then we come to the delayed blast scolding, and it's consequenses... though i must admit that precia has an... unique... way of punishing fate for her misusage of precias credit card.
And the mental image of them fighting over the 'toy' is plain hilarious
I suppose this is also what you call "mother daughter bonding"?

And the webcam strikes back!
Though this is mild considering what they COULD have seen...
...and then there's the question of how many saw her rummaging around her room, hiding her 'toys'

Back to the school:
For a moment there, i thought that suzuka said that she had been on phone with arisa last night, and went when she said "Nya-haha"... had to go back and read that part a few times before noticing who was talking

Moving on, i noticed that you did make nanohas smoking into a problem, on a rather different scale than i thought to boot... I know a person who's a casual smoker, he tends to smoke only during times of stress and distress, and extremely rarely otherwise, and i thought that nanoha fell into this category, only smoking at work...
...oh well, we'll be seeing a fight about it sooner or later, won't we?
Just don't make it into any kind of an intervention, smoking isn't like drugs...

...and that about conludes the chapter, i find very little to comment about the diary entries and the collectible card, but i think that's because it's 3am

Well, i did say that we need something to bring us down from the cotton candy clouds where we ended with all the fluff and syrup of the last chapter... and you delivered humor, a lot of embarrasment, a bit of fluff and drama with some foreshadowing...
...so i suppose next chapter will be drama heavy then?

Right, it was a bit... beefier... wall of text than what i usually write you, but it's a bit more compact as well...

oh well, can't wait for the next chapter, keep up the good work!

Edit: haha, i claim this page in the honor of The Wall!

Edit 2: as for the Path of Vengeance, Academy Blues and Endless Waltz pairing talk, i'll say this: PoV has a slight nanohaxyuuno, but nothing overtly romantic or detailed, AB has practically zero romantical stuff, and EW has only one chapter out so i can't say anything about it yet...

[ghazghkull]

Originally Posted by Gillian

ok
the other things I read sounds interesting*especially Kha's: Nanoha with angel wings and twin divine buster*

I will start reading with PoV even though there are YxN scences, then I will skip them like I did it with the Frodo scence's in Lord of the Ring: The Return of the King

thx for the information

Trust me when I say that it's a nice read

[Gillian]

Originally Posted by ghazghkull

Trust me when I say that it's a nice read

ok
I will
*now having something to read during the wait time *

[Master Kosa]

Originally Posted by Gillian

*sits besides Haru on the I-don't-read-any-other-FF-than-NxF-FF-bench*
nothing against daichi, but I'm no fan from NxY

Well I'm sitting next to you ^^, but, well, to clarify myself I read only shoujo-ai fics. <ot>@Satashi - are you going to write another Futari wa pretty cure fic? Sorry for ot</ot>

Originally Posted by ghazghkull

Then forgot Path of Vengeance and go straight for Academy Blues. Fate and Nanoha are benched except near the end of that story, and even then Yuuno doesn't play any part, last time I checked. Aspects of the story may be confusing because you don't know some of it due to not reading PoV, but if you're not going to read the N/Y aspect of it, then just go straight to Academy Blues.

Besides, the entire series is for the most part Hayate's life. Academy Blues focuses a bit more on her students, but all in all, none of the characters get shafted.

Hmm PoV is reason why I decided why not to read his other fics. Maybe I made a mistake. Hayate at Academy Blues is paired with who?

[ghazghkull]

Originally Posted by KoSSa

Well I'm sitting next to you ^^, but, well, to clarify myself I read only shoujo-ai fics. <ot>@Satashi - are you going to write another Futari wa pretty cure fic? Sorry for ot</ot>


Hmm PoV is reason why I decided why not to read his other fics. Maybe I made a mistake. Hayate at Academy Blues is paired with who?

No one. Like in StrikerS and how Hayate was dedicated to Riot Force 6, she's dedicated to the school and her students, therefore in either case, she never really had time for a personal love life. Plus if you think about it, she was established as the type to strive for what she wanted. So therefore, if the premise was given, she'd probably already have a love life, but since there was no such premise in the story, she's still single :3

[SpaceBrotha]

Originally Posted by KoSSa

Well I'm sitting next to you ^^, but, well, to clarify myself I read only shoujo-ai fics. <ot>@Satashi - are you going to write another Futari wa pretty cure fic? Sorry for ot</ot>


Hmm PoV is reason why I decided why not to read his other fics. Maybe I made a mistake. Hayate at Academy Blues is paired with who?

Sigh, let's get this clear: Romance isn't part of PoV or AB, the slight nanohaxyuuno is something we see in the epilogue of PoV, and that's about it... AB itself doesn't have anyone pairing with hayate, because romance still isn't part of these stories, they concentrate on other matters.

So anyone who doesn't read a fic because someone mentions nanohaxyuuno should just bang their head to a wall for being so stuck up and just get around to reading these things through before making opinions, aight?

Edit: so, that was a bit rude, apologies... but still, these aren't fics you read for pairings, these are fics you read for epic stories and it feels foolish not to read them because of implied nanohaxyuuno...

[ghazghkull]

Originally Posted by SpaceBrotha

Sigh, let's get this clear: Romance isn't part of PoV or AB, the slight nanohaxyuuno is something we see in the epilogue of PoV, and that's about it... AB itself doesn't have anyone pairing with hayate, because romance still isn't part of these stories, they concentrate on other matters.

So anyone who doesn't read a fic because someone mentions nanohaxyuuno should just bang their head to a wall for being so stuck up and just get around to reading these things through before making opinions, aight?

Edit: so, that was a bit rude, apologies... but still, these aren't fics you read for pairings, these are fics you read for epic stories and it feels foolish not to read them because of implied nanohaxyuuno...

Amen to that. Granted that a lot of people are looking for romance stories, but don't let that stop you guys from reading epic works of fiction.

Academy Blues is quite an epic work if you ask me. I personally skipped PoV cus it didn't pull me in.

[Satashi]

I don't read Academy Blues or PoV just because I don't like the plot of it, but I agree with Space Brotha on the "not reading because of a small yuunoha" That's extremely disrespectful to authors and a story that you might actually really love. It's not a romance story, so don't let romance stop you.

@random points: I don't think I'll do another Pretty Cure fic unless Angel watches the series and wants me to :P. Also since everyone is complaining about Yuunoha, I'll give the boy some love this week with lunch time shorts .

Also, *points to the page claim post by SpaceBrotha* THAT is a spiffy review :3 that's the kind authors like to get. little points on lots of things. Good job :3

[ghazghkull]

Horray For Sensible People!!

[Master Kosa]

Originally Posted by SpaceBrotha

Sigh, let's get this clear: Romance isn't part of PoV or AB, the slight nanohaxyuuno is something we see in the epilogue of PoV, and that's about it... AB itself doesn't have anyone pairing with hayate, because romance still isn't part of these stories, they concentrate on other matters.

So anyone who doesn't read a fic because someone mentions nanohaxyuuno should just bang their head to a wall for being so stuck up and just get around to reading these things through before making opinions, aight?

Edit: so, that was a bit rude, apologies... but still, these aren't fics you read for pairings, these are fics you read for epic stories and it feels foolish not to read them because of implied nanohaxyuuno...

Thx for explanation, but let me defend myself.

Spoiler for ...:

I have never belived what people say, I alwas check things myself.I read some chapters of PoV and because there is a lot of their interaction I jumped at last chapter and scanned for what is going on. Then I decided not to read other because I dont have enought time to read everything much time (Somewhen I dont have time for sleep T_T.) , btw there is about 400 chapter of various fics waiting for me to read them (various fandoms - Mai Hime, Strawberry panic, Shinseiki Evangelion, ...). I apologize to autor and everybody I have offended, it was not my intention. *deep bow* I know how hard it is to write or create something so I everyone who creates something has my great respect.
I read mainly romantic fics so I think pairing is really important. I read them because there is only a few shoujo ai animes. And when I want an epic story I watch anime(e.g. Utawarerumono (finished few hours ago)).

And for character Yuuno: I personally dislike him like Souma in Kannazuki no Miko (hmm maybe not so much, but his picture with Nanoha at the end of StrikerS didnt improved my feelings towards him.) I dont see him as a cool character. Sorry. Chrono is better - reminds me that guy from Suzumyia Haruhi no yuutsu

[ghazghkull]

Originally Posted by KoSSa

Thx for explanation, but let me defend myself.

Spoiler for ...:

I have never belived what people say, I alwas check things myself.I read some chapters of PoV and because there is a lot of their interaction I jumped at last chapter and scanned for what is going on. Then I decided not to read other because I dont have enought time to read everything much time (Somewhen I dont have time for sleep T_T.) , btw there is about 400 chapter of various fics waiting for me to read them (various fandoms - Mai Hime, Strawberry panic, Shinseiki Evangelion, ...) . I read mainly romantic fics so I think pairing is really important. I read them because there is only a few shoujo ai animes. And when I want an epic story I watch anime(e.g. Utawarerumono (finished few hours ago)).
And for character Yuuno: I personally dislike him like Souma in Kannazuki no Miko (hmm maybe not so much, but his picture with Nanoha at the end of StrikerS didnt improved my feelings towards him.) I dont see him as a cool character. Sorry.

Oh I agree with you on the Souma part :3

But in terms of interactions, that's what makes epic stories epic! Romance is a good staple, but you need to add flavour every once in a while before it starts getting bland and such :3

[Satashi]

Originally Posted by ghazghkull

Oh I agree with you on the Souma part :3

But in terms of interactions, that's what makes epic stories epic! Romance is a good staple, but you need to add flavour every once in a while before it starts getting bland and such :3

Yeah, SbtB got bland to me. I'm happy I manged to get them back in school finally. The last few chapters took place over two weeks and the chapters before covered like 6 months >.< Yay for time flow and character interaction!

As for Yuuno, I'm not going to talk about him in relationships (that's another thread) but him in fanfiction is really nice and open. He is really great to work with in SbtB as well as my 6th Division just simply because there is so much he can do. A pity a lot of people don't see his potential. I get a lot of request for Yuuno/Hayate (what have I DONE!? lol )so it's nice to swap from N/F every now and then.

I want to write abot Arisa and Suzuka too but... For some reason I can't really do it. I just draw blanks with them. They are really important character in Nanoha season 1, but other than them being Nanoha's friends, you don't see anything about them. One likes dogs, one likes cats, they're both rich, but what else?

That one image of them in Barrier Jackets along with N/H/F in the air over the sea looked really promising.... But that's another show. ( cookies if you get reference)

Oh, and I started planning my emerald chapter to go with SbtB. I'm pleased with it so far in my head. I hope it goes down on paper as good.

[USB500]

I wasn't here for long enough to follow the progress, so can anyone give me a recap?

On related note, I finally resumed my work on Beauty and the Red-Haired Beast. As usual, expect some serious madness business with the stage play but time, expect the girls to be dressed up as Undine.

Hint: watch ARIA the Animation.

[BPHaru]

Originally Posted by KoSSa

And for character Yuuno: I personally dislike him like Souma in Kannazuki no Miko (hmm maybe not so much, but his picture with Nanoha at the end of StrikerS didnt improved my feelings towards him.) I dont see him as a cool character. Sorry. Chrono is better - reminds me that guy from Suzumyia Haruhi no yuutsu

You totally got the point.
Chrono was one of the good characters from the series, as you said he reminds me of Kyon as well, and that’s a WIN by itself, also he’s a male tsundere and has the same seiyuu. It’s not fair that they just removed him from the third season… too much new characters and no place for Chrono or Ami (Tsuruya's seiyuu!)

Originally Posted by Satashi

I don't read Academy Blues or PoV just because I don't like the plot of it, but I agree with Space Brotha on the "not reading because of a small yuunoha" That's extremely disrespectful to authors and a story that you might actually really love. It's not a romance story, so don't let romance stop you.

Yeah, but you know that there are people who only want to read romance about this series because they don’t care about all the military stuffs, training, and overpowered characters with giant beams in Nanohaverse, for those people discarding that kind of fic by beforehand wouldn’t be disrespectful to the author, but a totally logic choice, since they won’t like it nor found its epicness.

Originally Posted by Satashi

Also since everyone is complaining about Yuunoha, I'll give the boy some love this week with lunch time shorts .

Thanks, you know how well you made me feel when you wrote that kind of fics in the past, and now I’ll need to go through the same again...

Saludos, Haru

[Hiddenryuu]

Well, honestly, people are looking for different things in a fic, story or otherwise creative work. I didn't read lord of the rings cause I couldn't stand reading 2 pages of a freakin' bush. So, dismissing a fic cause there's a slightly bias against one pairing doesn't really bother me, on the other hand if they start saying it's crap or it's bad just CAUSE it doesn't have pairing or whatever they like, it'll be a entire different story.

@Evil Rick: Do you happen to draw the inside of your characters before drawing the outside? Just curious, cause it's something that will help greatly, it seems there are some parts that don't match up to where they are supposed to be. However, this is not a place to critique art I suppose, so I'll finish and say that I'm glad you're completing something creative and interesting, It's really harder than people think.

@Satashi: Nice cliffhanger you left me on T_T hook, line, sinker X_X

@Thread: Keep up the good work, nice to know the lot of you are being more productive than I am currently X_X

[Evil Rick]

Originally Posted by Hiddenryuu

@Evil Rick: Do you happen to draw the inside of your characters before drawing the outside? Just curious, cause it's something that will help greatly, it seems there are some parts that don't match up to where they are supposed to be. However, this is not a place to critique art I suppose, so I'll finish and say that I'm glad you're completing something creative and interesting, It's really harder than people think.

Thankyou and as I say, this is onlly work in progress, the images only have the text, the corrections of lines in Photoshop are still in progress, like in this pages...

[Wild Goose]

Kyon isn't really a male tsundere, he's more of a straight man.

Originally Posted by BPHaru

Yeah, but you know that there are people who only want to read romance about this series because they don’t care about all the military stuffs, training, and overpowered characters with giant beams in Nanohaverse, for those people discarding that kind of fic by beforehand wouldn’t be disrespectful to the author, but a totally logic choice, since they won’t like it nor found its epicness.

By the same token, we could apply that to people who dismiss fanfiction simply because it doesn't have the pairings that they support.

Thanks, you know how well you made me feel when you wrote that kind of fics in the past, and now I’ll need to go through the same again...

Then don't read them, Haru. Nobody's holding a gun to your head forcing you to read Yuunoha; likewise, don't go attempting to emotionally blackmail authors into writing NanohaxFate if they want to explore a different pairing.

Because that's just dishonest and hypocritical.

Please note that I am not attacking Haru as a person, but his stance and hypocrisy.

[Tormenk]

Taking a good look in here to find that things are still the same but..

Originally Posted by SpaceBrotha

Anyone who remembers Daishi Prime and his works, Path of Vengeance and it's sequel Academy Blues might be interested in the next installment of the series: Endless Waltz

Anyone who hasn't read them, should.
But please note that it's not an easy read, considering that PoV is 44,7k words and AB is 263k words... meaning a LOT of time is required in order to read them through. The fics take place some time after nanoha A's, and were written before strikers came out, so there might be some differences to canon, but i still recommend them to anyone who's even mildly interested in nanoha fanfics.

Thanks! Reason enough to go back to FF.net now.

[Fuyu no Sora]

Originally Posted by Satashi

As for Yuuno, I'm not going to talk about him in relationships (that's another thread) but him in fanfiction is really nice and open. He is really great to work with in SbtB as well as my 6th Division just simply because there is so much he can do. A pity a lot of people don't see his potential. I get a lot of request for Yuuno/Hayate (what have I DONE!? lol )so it's nice to swap from N/F every now and then.

A change is always nice

Originally Posted by Satashi

I want to write abot Arisa and Suzuka too but... For some reason I can't really do it. I just draw blanks with them. They are really important character in Nanoha season 1, but other than them being Nanoha's friends, you don't see anything about them. One likes dogs, one likes cats, they're both rich, but what else?

They both play the violin

Originally Posted by Satashi

Oh, and I started planning my emerald chapter to go with SbtB. I'm pleased with it so far in my head. I hope it goes down on paper as good.

Maa, if it's as good as your first Emerald chapter it'll be fine

Good chapter btw. Really liked the funny Fate/Precia moments although I'm wondering something: Do you have something against Fate? You're always getting the poor girl into some embarrassing situation or other

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

Kyon isn't really a male tsundere, he's more of a straight man.

Tsukkomis FTW

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

By the same token, we could apply that to people who dismiss fanfiction simply because it doesn't have the pairings that they support.

QFT

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

Then don't read them, Haru. Nobody's holding a gun to your head forcing you to read Yuunoha; likewise, don't go attempting to emotionally blackmail authors into writing NanohaxFate if they want to explore a different pairing.

Because that's just dishonest and hypocritical.

Please note that I am not attacking Haru as a person, but his stance and hypocrisy.

And our Cadian H4XXBuster Goose has spoken

[BPHaru]

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

Kyon isn't really a male tsundere, he's more of a straight man.

Yes, of course he's not a tsundere, but Chrono is. Kyon is a straigh and sarcastic in extreme man

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

By the same token, we could apply that to people who dismiss fanfiction simply because it doesn't have the pairings that they support.

That's right, you got the point.

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

Then don't read them, Haru. Nobody's holding a gun to your head forcing you to read Yuunoha; likewise, don't go attempting to emotionally blackmail authors into writing NanohaxFate if they want to explore a different pairing.

You’re missing the point. It’d be almost the same if it’s a fic about whatever non-Fate-character x Nanoha or whatever non-Nanoha-character x Fate.
It has nothing to do with the fic by itself, all is about the simple act of doing it, doing something that goes against the beliefs (I don’t know if this is the correct word) and expectations of the thousands of fans enjoying of the fruit given by the author’s efforts. I have said it before several times: when you have too many people who care for you and for what you do, you acquire certain responsibilities, you can just ignore them or you will end hurting people, or you simply can keep doing what you enjoy, your fans enjoy, and what has carried you to where you actually are. You know, is not like Joanne Rowling instead of keep writing books of the popular novel Harry Potter as she did, started writing dirty novels inspired in the medieval age… what will fell their fans in that situation?

Satashi is not Joanne Rowling, and RH is not Harry’s rod, but let’s remember who the author of most of the NanoFate fics over ff.net is, and who wrote the fic with most reviews in the entire Nanoha section, that will eventually reach 300 reviews. Is not the same, but with this comparation you can have an idea of how important is what a fanfic writer of Satashi’s magnitude does.

And I’m not blackmailing anybody with this, I know better than anyone that Satashi will not be persuaded by this kind of speech about responsibility or moral. I have already tried it in the past more than one time.

Saludos, Haru