2011-03-27, 20:13 | Link #8501 | |
Knight Errant
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Age: 35
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I think it's a pretty positive career move, and some places will have vastly better job prospects then home. And it's a chance to have some adventure, which is a good conversation starter with the ladies. Also "I'm foreign" is a top notch chat up line and conversation starter when abroad. I managed to get my feet wet talking to women while on exchange with it, which is a lot more then I ever got in Ireland. Foreigners are considered exotic. Or maybe it's only Irishmen. My choice to emigrate is also made easier by the high levels of unemployment here. 14% is nasty, and it's like 33% for young men(<25). |
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2011-03-27, 22:20 | Link #8503 | ||
World's Greatest
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: San Francisco
Age: 36
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I've experienced a little bit of this. In my department at my school, the illustration department, there are not very many girls I would find attractive. My girlfriend is one of the few...so I was fortunate in that regard that she happened to be an illustration major. But at my school there are a lot of other majors too, so it's not hard to look if you know where to look. The fashion department for example has the most attractive women in my opinion than any of the other 15 or so majors by far...especially when compared to illustration. All in all it depends what kind of girls you are into. As for the other way around with girls looking out for guys, I obviously can't comment on that.
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Last edited by Samari; 2011-03-27 at 22:31. |
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2011-03-28, 00:19 | Link #8504 |
#1 Akashiya Moka Fan
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I'd say it all depends on where one goes- the cliques, sororities and fraternities are all more likely to be in play at "prestigious"/"private" universities or colleges. I went to a community college myself, and while a bit of division did seem to exist, it wasn't anything major; just that people seemed to go to one side of the cafeteria or the other: one side being the various forms of "nerds", and the other "everybody else". And even then, there was no "you can't sit here, you belong with the other group", just a noticeable trend of where one felt more comfortable and seemed to have more friends.
Anyways, I just wanted to throw something out that happened tonight. I was on my way out of work, and I happened to bump into my ex, who was getting out of work early herself. So we ended up hanging out for a bit in my car, and one of the things that she brought up was that she heard I wouldn't date her again because she's pregnant. I told her that as much as I'd consider getting back together with her if she wanted to with me, it would be best for both of us if we didn't. As I've said before, I'm going away for college in the fall, and while it's not exactly the longest drive from her house to the college I'll be at, she'll have a child to care for in addition to me perhaps being her boyfriend. And I ain't ready to be a father either. So, I ended up rejecting her, and to her face, saying I wish to remain a close friend... it would be best for both of us. Now, I've been on the receiving end of rejections for a very, very long time, and thought I would never be able to reject a woman, especially one who I find as lovely as herself. And damn, did it hurt... add on top of that that although she said she understands and we have to do what's best for both of us, it pained her as well. And I'm the type of guy who hates hurting a woman unless she's being a real bitch. So, adding that on top, this was almost as painful as when we broke up. I know making the right choice ain't easy at times, but I never realized just how painful it could be... at least she told me that I'd better stay in close contact, and that one way or another, I should visit her at times (else she'd apparently kick my ass... ). Damn... I hope that counts as making a mature choice, though it sucked like hell
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2011-03-28, 00:30 | Link #8505 | |
World's Greatest
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: San Francisco
Age: 36
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2011-03-28, 07:12 | Link #8506 | |
Knight Errant
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Age: 35
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Certainly I find my College just as cliquey as High School, particularly with certain societies and the Student Union. The difference is that you can avoid them. But when student societies get dominated by cliques, you kinda can get cut off from socialising, believe it or not the nerdy societies were just as cliquey, the SF soc, where I was for a while, had a major case of bloated heads. Looked down on the Game society like they were inferior beings... The more popular groups just thought the Game society was a bit eccentric. Which is why I don't think College is absolutely better then High School, it depends on many factors. |
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2011-04-17, 14:26 | Link #8509 |
Banned
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I'm at a point in my life when I'm generally happy with the way I am, but...
5 Reasons being Single Sucks Even More Than You Thought So... anyone interested in a marriage of convenience? Like one of those romantic comedy movies. We only maybe need to probably put up a token show for government officials! :P |
2011-04-17, 15:36 | Link #8510 | |
He Without a Title
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: The land of tempura
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Now excuse me while I go cry in a corner cause I'm miserable and alone. JK
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2011-04-17, 16:04 | Link #8511 |
Knight Errant
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Age: 35
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Hey, if you're single you don't have to buy overpriced gifts for your annoying significant other! Being single rocks, noone to tell me what to do! BOOYEAH!!!!
I'm not lonely. At all Excuse me I've got something in my eye... |
2011-04-17, 16:18 | Link #8512 | |
blinded by blood
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2011-04-17, 17:44 | Link #8517 |
Banned
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There is no set on/off binary decision for dating, per se. I see it more as a gradual thing. One thing I would definitely say, is to have it clearly spelled out in advance what you expect to be doing, and in your mind, what you would find acceptable or not. That way, if the date takes a different direction, it doesn't catch you off guard and you end up doing something you might regret later.
In middle school and high school, approx ages 14-16, I'd probably suggest group dates. You don't have to be in a relationship, just kinda go out with friends and do date-y things and have fun. Calling it an actual date and expecting hookups puts pressure on it, and thus you won't have as good of a time. This helps wean you into a possible relationship, while learning to still be yourself and still keep your friends in the loop. 17-18, one can probably do the standard couple dating thing. It's just important to balance dating and relationships against other things in your life. Some people can end up too busy, or burning themselves out trying to date or maintain relationships. School is quite important, after all. But I suppose even these guidelines aren't set in stone. The important is mainly to decide in advance what you want, what you'll accept, and what you won't accept. The emotional high from love can really rob your logical thought processes of any consideration, so it is important to try and keep them in the loop to keep yourself a bit grounded. And always remember: nobody is perfect, so you're never going to find the perfect person. They will always have flaws (and people will always notice your own flaws). So the real mark of maturity that you're ready to date, is if you can accept those flaws. If you really think someone is perfect, then you're either lying to yourself, or you aren't taking a good enough look (or the person is hiding things from you). If you can't get over flaws, then no one will ever satisfy you for long. |
2011-04-17, 18:03 | Link #8518 | |
Disabled By Request
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: The Mitten Area.
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Good. Mission accomplished. The age I see most people beginning to date is around 14-16. Actually in my elementary school the first people to date each other was in the 4th grade. The "appropriate" time to me isn't exactly a specific age but more or less it is whenever you feel ready to do so, to a certain extent however, I don't like the idea of 9 year olds dating. |
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2011-04-17, 18:11 | Link #8519 |
Member
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i'd agree with the 14-16 sentiment. There's nothing wrong with doing it before, but it's far less likely to last (it's unlikely to last at 14-16 too though)
there's also nothing wrong with starting later, many people don't date until a much later date and that's simply what fits them.
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advice, break-ups, dating, dating after divorce, divorce, happiness, love, pairings, single dad, single mom |
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