AnimeSuki Forums

escimo · 2009-03-09, 19:25

http://pogpog.com/v/smart-crow/

Not all that funny but.

grylsyjaeger · 2009-03-09, 21:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by ganbaru

Strange I thought it was more about what happened at the Ford theater.

Same here.

KiNA · 2009-03-09, 22:45

Old stuff .. Warning !
1) Huge file (1+Mb)
2) bad language.

XD

Sinfully Naomi · 2009-03-09, 22:54

JEEP!!!!1!111111!!!!!!!!!one!!!11!!!!11!!!!!11tenm illion!1111!!!!!!

Demongod86 · 2009-03-09, 23:21

ET ANOTHER EDITION OF 'QUOTES TO THINK ABOUT'....

“Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength.: ) Aphorist Eric Hoffer

“Unless a man undertakes more than he possibly can do, he will never do all that he can.” - Author Henry Drummond

“If nobody spoke unless he had something to say, the human race would very soon lose the use of speech.” - W. Somerset Maugham

“The learned man knows that he is ignorant.” - Victor Hugo

“Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.” - John F. Kennedy

“True happiness is knowing you're a hypocrite.” Musician Ivor Cutler

“Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.” - Writer Bill Vaughan

“Miracles are propitious accidents, the natural causes of which are too complicated to be readily understood.” - George Santayana

“The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.” - Actor Paul Fix

“The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.” - Author James Branch Cabell

“If 50 million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.” - Anatole France

“I'd rather be governed by a wise Turk than a stupid Christian.” - Martin Luther

“Behind every successful man there is a surprised woman.” - Former Canadian first lady Maryon Pearson

Sinfully Naomi · 2009-03-09, 23:36

Person 1:'Some guy tried to sell me weed here'
Person 2:'Some guy tried to sell me weed in the library. And you know what, I said "no" to drugs, where's my lifetime of happiness?'
Person 1: *shrugs*
Person 2: *points to his girlfriend* 'There it is'
Person 1: 'Let's just see how long this lifetime is.'
Person 2: *looks and nods*

*thirty seconds later*

Person 1: 'Aw crap, I could've made a "24" reference there!'

LeoXiao · 2009-03-10, 01:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by KiNA

Old stuff .. Warning !
1) Huge file (1+Mb)
2) bad language.

XD

lol I laugh every time i see this. theres no way I can pick out the best parts.s

Aoie_Emesai · 2009-03-10, 01:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by Demongod86

ET ANOTHER EDITION OF 'QUOTES TO THINK ABOUT'....

“Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength.: ) Aphorist Eric Hoffer

“The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.” - Actor Paul Fix

These 2 are great

-KarumA- · 2009-03-10, 15:39

this made me lol

http://community.norton.com/norton/b...id=39119&jump=
true

>O LAWD IM CHOKIN ON PIFTS PLZ HALP
> OH GOD YOU GOT CHOCOLATE IN MY PIFTS
>If you wanna be my NORTON/ you gotta deal with my P ! F T S . E X E
>IF PIFTS.EXE WAS HERE, THEN WHO WAS PHONE?
>PIFTS.EXE PIFTS.EXE PIFTS.EXE PIFTS.EXE PIFTS.EXE PIFTS.EXE PIFTS.EXE
>I LOVE MY PIFTS.EXE

sa547 · 2009-03-10, 21:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by -KarumA-

this made me lol

http://community.norton.com/norton/b...id=39119&jump=
true

>O LAWD IM CHOKIN ON PIFTS PLZ HALP
> OH GOD YOU GOT CHOCOLATE IN MY PIFTS
>If you wanna be my NORTON/ you gotta deal with my P ! F T S . E X E
>IF PIFTS.EXE WAS HERE, THEN WHO WAS PHONE?
>PIFTS.EXE PIFTS.EXE PIFTS.EXE PIFTS.EXE PIFTS.EXE PIFTS.EXE PIFTS.EXE
>I LOVE MY PIFTS.EXE

That was quite embarrassing for Norton, as the programmers had apparently forgot to properly tag the file in question.

Demongod86 · 2009-03-11, 00:02

Dear Employees,
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement.. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be considered for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired-Early Workers).
A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management..
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attentionof your Supervisor, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely, Management
P.S.Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off. We apologize for the inconvenience.

Aoie_Emesai · 2009-03-11, 02:03

Some jokes for ya

(All of these are from Comedy Central, btw)

I Chose the one that made me laugh. Hope ya like them too. Most are from the Sex tag of the joke section

Q: What goes in hard and pink, but comes out soft and mushy?

Spoiler for answer:

Q: What's about six inches long and produces a white, frothy substance when rubbed back and forth and in and out?

Spoiler for answer:

**
Two neighbors, John and Sam, are always competing.

One day John looks over the fence and spies Sam's wife, naked, watering the garden. When Sam gets home from work, John brags to him that he's seen his wife naked.

Sam wants revenge, so that night creeps over to John's yard and catches sight of John's wife performing oral sex.

The next day, Sam approaches John at the mailbox. "Hey, I saw your wife performing oral sex on you last night."

"Ha ha, the joke's on you," John says, "I wasn't home last night!"
**

Q: Mommy, what's that old wrinkly think on grandma?

Spoiler for Answer:

**
What has 75 balls and screws old ladies?

Spoiler for Answer:

**
Longer Joke so i stuck it in a spoiler

Spoiler for Drastic Diet:

A fellow was ordered to lose 75 pounds, due to VERY serious health risks. As he wondered how in the heck he would ever do it, he ran across an ad in the newspaper for a guaranteed weight loss program. ''Guaranteed my ass,'' he thought to himself, but desperate, he calls them up and subscribes to the 3 day/ 10 pound weight loss program.

The next day there is a knock at his door and when he answers, there stands before him a voluptous, athletic, beautiful babe dressed in nothing but a pair of NIKE running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.

The sign reads, ''If you can catch me you can have me!''

Without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her.

After they are through and she leaves, he thinks to himself, ''I like the way this company does business.''

The same girl shows up for the next two days and the same thing happens. On the fourth day he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost ten pounds, as promised.

So, he calls the company and orders from them their 5 day/ 20 pound program. As expected, the next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunningly beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life, wearing nothing but REEBOK running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, ''If you can catch me, you can have me.''

He's after her in a shot. This girl is in great shape and it takes a while to catch her, but when he does, it's worth every cramp and wheeze. She is by far the best he's ever had. For the next four days, the same routine happens and much to his delight on the fifth day, he weighs himself and found he has lost another twenty pounds as promised!

He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7 day/ 50 pound loss program.
''Are you sure,'' asks the representative on the phone, ''this is our most rigorous program...''
''Absolutely,'' he replies. '' I haven't felt this great in years!''

The next day there is a knock at the door and when he opens it he finds Richard Simmons standing there wearing nothing but pink racing spikes and a sign around his neck that reads, ''If I catch you, I have you!!'''

****

Two old ladies were standing on a street corner smoking cigarettes. It started to rain and one lady said, ''Great, now I'll have to put this out.''

The other lady said, ''No you don't, i have some cigarette covers here.''

She proceeded to take a trojan out of her purse, cut the end off and put it over her cigarette. The other lady asked, ''Where did you get that?''

The second lady replied, ''Just go to the drug store and ask for some condoms.''

The next day the first lady went to her local drug store and said to the clerk,''I'd like some condoms please.''

The clerk replied,''What size please?''

The lady said, ''One big enough to fit a Camel.''
***
A boy was playing with himself in the bathtub when his father walked in and said, “Son, if you don't stop doing that, you'll go blind.” The boy said, “Dad, I'm over here
**

LeoXiao · 2009-03-11, 02:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by Demongod86

Dear Employees,
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement.. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be considered for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired-Early Workers).
A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management..
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attentionof your Supervisor, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely, Management
P.S.Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off. We apologize for the inconvenience.

Those acronyms must've taken an eternity to come up with.

escimo · 2009-03-11, 06:59

Fail.

Kitsune · 2009-03-11, 08:55

Spelling mistake or just being honest?

Spoiler for image:

ganbaru · 2009-03-11, 09:36

Someone just had forget the ''G'', they probably means angus.

Solafighter · 2009-03-11, 09:40

SaintessHeart · 2009-03-11, 10:34

If you can understand Japanese......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=JP&hl=ja&v=tf6baKNrC48

Solafighter · 2009-03-11, 14:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

If you can understand Japanese......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=JP&hl=ja&v=tf6baKNrC48

That would be great for my navigation system. Just need to remember the keywords like right or left turn and else.

Well, anoter kinda funny video. Japanese playing HL2 with some crazy map. Ventrilo/Ts was recorded. Well, for those, who understand japanese its more funny, i guess.

http://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm1396067

LeoXiao · 2009-03-11, 19:55

Not really a lol but...

I was talking to my friend in my history classroom during lunch today, and I explained Demongod's acronym story to him. Then he loled, went to a computer, found the text of the joke, and printed it out and put it on the wall near the door. Then my history teacher came in as the bell rang and started reading the paper. He started laughing and since he was near the door people coming also starting looking at what he was laughing about and soon like half to class was jammed around the doorway reading to paper on the wall and it took like ten minutes for the way to be cleared. Then some girl took the sheet, went to the library, and printed like 30 copies and distributed them to another history class before coming back and giving the extras to people who hadn't read it yet. Then we took a test made up of essay questions about Hitler and what he did to Jewish people.

2009-03-09, 22:54	Link #3724
Sinfully Naomi Teddytears Graphic Designer Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: In that place where the stuff is at. Age: 27	JEEP!!!!1!111111!!!!!!!!!one!!!11!!!!11!!!!!11tenm illion!1111!!!!!! __________________ under... construction?

2009-03-09, 23:21	Link #3725
Demongod86 Gundam Boobs and Boom FTW Join Date: Dec 2005	ET ANOTHER EDITION OF 'QUOTES TO THINK ABOUT'.... “Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength.: ) Aphorist Eric Hoffer “Unless a man undertakes more than he possibly can do, he will never do all that he can.” - Author Henry Drummond “If nobody spoke unless he had something to say, the human race would very soon lose the use of speech.” - W. Somerset Maugham “The learned man knows that he is ignorant.” - Victor Hugo “Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.” - John F. Kennedy “True happiness is knowing you're a hypocrite.” Musician Ivor Cutler “Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.” - Writer Bill Vaughan “Miracles are propitious accidents, the natural causes of which are too complicated to be readily understood.” - George Santayana “The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.” - Actor Paul Fix “The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.” - Author James Branch Cabell “If 50 million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.” - Anatole France “I'd rather be governed by a wise Turk than a stupid Christian.” - Martin Luther “Behind every successful man there is a surprised woman.” - Former Canadian first lady Maryon Pearson __________________ Signature stolen by a horde of carnivorous bunnies. It is an unscientifically proven fact that they are attracted to signatures which break the signature rules.

2009-03-09, 23:36	Link #3726
Sinfully Naomi Teddytears Graphic Designer Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: In that place where the stuff is at. Age: 27	Person 1:'Some guy tried to sell me weed here' Person 2:'Some guy tried to sell me weed in the library. And you know what, I said "no" to drugs, where's my lifetime of happiness?' Person 1: shrugs Person 2: points to his girlfriend 'There it is' Person 1: 'Let's just see how long this lifetime is.' Person 2: looks and nods thirty seconds later Person 1: 'Aw crap, I could've made a "24" reference there!' __________________ under... construction?

2009-03-11, 00:02	Link #3731
Demongod86 Gundam Boobs and Boom FTW Join Date: Dec 2005	Dear Employees, Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement.. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be considered for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired-Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate. Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.. Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attentionof your Supervisor, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle. Sincerely, Management P.S.Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off. We apologize for the inconvenience. __________________ Signature stolen by a horde of carnivorous bunnies. It is an unscientifically proven fact that they are attracted to signatures which break the signature rules.

2009-03-11, 02:03	Link #3732
Aoie_Emesai ♪♫ Maya Iincho ♩♬ Artist Join Date: May 2004 Location: Unnecessary Age: 37	Some jokes for ya (All of these are from Comedy Central, btw) I Chose the one that made me laugh. Hope ya like them too. Most are from the Sex tag of the joke section Q: What goes in hard and pink, but comes out soft and mushy? Spoiler for answer: A: Bubblegum -- and you should be ashamed of yourself. Q: What's about six inches long and produces a white, frothy substance when rubbed back and forth and in and out? Spoiler for answer: A: A toothbrush. Two neighbors, John and Sam, are always competing. One day John looks over the fence and spies Sam's wife, naked, watering the garden. When Sam gets home from work, John brags to him that he's seen his wife naked. Sam wants revenge, so that night creeps over to John's yard and catches sight of John's wife performing oral sex. The next day, Sam approaches John at the mailbox. "Hey, I saw your wife performing oral sex on you last night." "Ha ha, the joke's on you," John says, "I wasn't home last night!" Q: Mommy, what's that old wrinkly think on grandma? Spoiler for Answer: Grandpa What has 75 balls and screws old ladies? Spoiler** for Answer: BINGO! Longer Joke so i stuck it in a spoiler Spoiler** for Drastic Diet: A fellow was ordered to lose 75 pounds, due to VERY serious health risks. As he wondered how in the heck he would ever do it, he ran across an ad in the newspaper for a guaranteed weight loss program. ''Guaranteed my ass,'' he thought to himself, but desperate, he calls them up and subscribes to the 3 day/ 10 pound weight loss program. The next day there is a knock at his door and when he answers, there stands before him a voluptous, athletic, beautiful babe dressed in nothing but a pair of NIKE running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, ''If you can catch me you can have me!'' Without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her. After they are through and she leaves, he thinks to himself, ''I like the way this company does business.'' The same girl shows up for the next two days and the same thing happens. On the fourth day he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost ten pounds, as promised. So, he calls the company and orders from them their 5 day/ 20 pound program. As expected, the next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunningly beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life, wearing nothing but REEBOK running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, ''If you can catch me, you can have me.'' He's after her in a shot. This girl is in great shape and it takes a while to catch her, but when he does, it's worth every cramp and wheeze. She is by far the best he's ever had. For the next four days, the same routine happens and much to his delight on the fifth day, he weighs himself and found he has lost another twenty pounds as promised! He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7 day/ 50 pound loss program. ''Are you sure,'' asks the representative on the phone, ''this is our most rigorous program...'' ''Absolutely,'' he replies. '' I haven't felt this great in years!'' The next day there is a knock at the door and when he opens it he finds Richard Simmons standing there wearing nothing but pink racing spikes and a sign around his neck that reads, ''If I catch you, I have you!!''' ** Two old ladies were standing on a street corner smoking cigarettes. It started to rain and one lady said, ''Great, now I'll have to put this out.'' The other lady said, ''No you don't, i have some cigarette covers here.'' She proceeded to take a trojan out of her purse, cut the end off and put it over her cigarette. The other lady asked, ''Where did you get that?'' The second lady replied, ''Just go to the drug store and ask for some condoms.'' The next day the first lady went to her local drug store and said to the clerk,''I'd like some condoms please.'' The clerk replied,''What size please?'' The lady said, ''One big enough to fit a Camel.'' * A boy was playing with himself in the bathtub when his father walked in and said, “Son, if you don't stop doing that, you'll go blind.” The boy said, “Dad, I'm over here ** __________________ How to Give / Receive Criticism on your work / Like to draw? Come join Artists Alike Visit my Deviantart Or Blog ~A Child should always surpass his/her parent, Remember.

2009-03-09, 19:25	Link #3721
escimo Paparazzi Join Date: Mar 2008 Age: 41	http://pogpog.com/v/smart-crow/ Not all that funny but.

2009-03-10, 15:39	Link #3729
-KarumA- (｡☉౪ ⊙｡) Author Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: In Maya world, where all is 3D and everything crashes Age: 36	this made me lol http://community.norton.com/norton/b...id=39119&jump= true >O LAWD IM CHOKIN ON PIFTS PLZ HALP > OH GOD YOU GOT CHOCOLATE IN MY PIFTS >If you wanna be my NORTON/ you gotta deal with my P ! F T S . E X E >IF PIFTS.EXE WAS HERE, THEN WHO WAS PHONE? >PIFTS.EXE PIFTS.EXE PIFTS.EXE PIFTS.EXE PIFTS.EXE PIFTS.EXE PIFTS.EXE >I LOVE MY PIFTS.EXE

2009-03-11, 06:59	Link #3734
escimo Paparazzi Join Date: Mar 2008 Age: 41	Fail.

2009-03-11, 08:55	Link #3735
Kitsune 九尾の狐 Artist Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: With lots of bunny girls. Age: 38	Spelling mistake or just being honest? Spoiler for image:

2009-03-11, 09:36	Link #3736
ganbaru books-eater youkai Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Betweem wisdom and insanity	Someone just had forget the ''G'', they probably means angus. __________________

2009-03-11, 09:40	Link #3737
Solafighter Hige Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: God only knows	__________________

2009-03-11, 10:34	Link #3738
SaintessHeart NYAAAAHAAANNNNN~ Join Date: Nov 2007 Age: 35	If you can understand Japanese...... http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=JP&hl=ja&v=tf6baKNrC48 __________________ When three puppygirls named after pastries are on top of each other, it is called Eclair a'la menthe et Biscotti aux fraises avec beaucoup de Ricotta sur le dessus. Most of all, you have to be disciplined and you have to save, even if you hate our current financial system. Because if you don't save, then you're guaranteed to end up with nothing.

2009-03-11, 19:55	Link #3740
LeoXiao 思想工作 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Vereinigte Staaten Age: 31	Not really a lol but... I was talking to my friend in my history classroom during lunch today, and I explained Demongod's acronym story to him. Then he loled, went to a computer, found the text of the joke, and printed it out and put it on the wall near the door. Then my history teacher came in as the bell rang and started reading the paper. He started laughing and since he was near the door people coming also starting looking at what he was laughing about and soon like half to class was jammed around the doorway reading to paper on the wall and it took like ten minutes for the way to be cleared. Then some girl took the sheet, went to the library, and printed like 30 copies and distributed them to another history class before coming back and giving the extras to people who hadn't read it yet. Then we took a test made up of essay questions about Hitler and what he did to Jewish people.