Nanoha Fanfic Discussion

[Nightengale]

Originally Posted by LoweGear

^ Or, he may have that plan in mind, but his conscience got in the way of his determination to go ahead with it. So he gives Hayate his financial support, so he can ease the moral wrangling going about in his head, while he's trying to find an alternative. But since he can't after several years, and with the Tome already awakened, and with the TSAB seemingly not getting anywhere on the case, he had no choice but to go ahead with his original plan to seal Hayate along with the tome.

At least, that's my take on it.

And that very much happens to be exactly what my fic's about. Plaigarism!

:P

Well, aside from the fact that my story includes Graham knowing Hayate's parents...and making some of his "search for alternatives" a little...painful.

[LoweGear]

Plagiarism is only if I did write anything about it :P

But I'll leave the writing to you, fellow Graham fan XD

[Chaos2Frozen]

Originally Posted by Nightengale

Well, aside from the fact that my story includes Graham knowing Hayate's parents...and making some of his "search for alternatives" a little...painful.

And you know how else you could screw around with him?

Give him false hope.

...
...
...

Erm... You're brewing an angst fest... Right ?

[LoweGear]

Ouch... like he finally gets a solution which seems incredibly promising... only to have new information on the Tome smash his hopes into ruin...

*Ouch*

[Chaos2Frozen]

Originally Posted by LoweGear

Ouch... like he finally gets a solution which seems incredibly promising... only to have new information on the Tome smash his hopes into ruin...

*Ouch*

Exactly.

It's the stuff Oscars are made of.

[Nightengale]

Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen

And you know how else you could screw around with him?

Give him false hope.

You know me all too well, it's scary.

Besides, most of my fics, despite not being publicly open, loves screwing with their characters. If I ever get to writing MSCG, expect DEATH!ANGST!DRAMA!

Spoiler for I really shouldn't be writing this...I have exams tomorrow...I blame you, C2F!:

It was supposed to be a joyous moment. They were being blessed with a beautiful baby girl, who herself was supposed to be blessed with a beautiful future, as bright as the clear sky.

But it was not to be.

~~~~~~~~~

A bloody carnage. A scene out of the spawns of hell. Death...Despair...

Why? Why must this little child, who's not even old enough to call out her mother's name be cursed...cursed by darkness?

~~~~~~~~~

What was I thinking...? If I destroy this cursed artifact now, she'd be free... but this...this act merely prolongs disaster... Her parents were killed because of this...

What should I do?

~~~~~~~~~

"Damnit! DAMN!"

Another failure... after another... Is there really no way to stop this? Why...

God, if you exist...why must you torment me so? Why must I always fail to protect those I love? ( The talk about treasuring friendship, and how Aria/Lotte aren't named after his family name...I'm confident he's went through a lot in his life.)

~~~~~~~~

Lotte is clearly distraught. With tears flowing from her eyes, she's telling me to stop. I have tried enough, she said. Some things just don't have happy endings, she said.

"Lotte...Hayate sent me a letter last week. There, it talked of her dreams...her desires...her future... A part of me wants to help her realize that in a most foolish manner, but before I am her caretaker, I am a soldier. I protect the future of the people. And therefore, until it is too late, I haven't tried enough."

Lotte was silent, but her resolve can be seen through her clear eyes. I never said it out loud, but I was truly thankful...from the bottom of my heart.

~~~~~~~~

How long had it been now...It is almost a decade now...I have searched far and wide, and other than 'that' method, there was no other discovery.

And with her Knights awakened...It is already too late.

"Lotte...Aria...Proceed with your mission. Begin the construction of Durandal."

I am sorry...Hayate.

Sneak Preview I wrote in 7 minutes.

Yes, I realize it's bad, with cheese. But give my hands and head a break. I normally need more time to filter out the cheese and make it more coherent. So, expect some things to sound different in the final version.

[LoweGear]

What, I like good cheese XD

The scenes were so believably Graham they shoud be canon XD

[Aaron008R]

Yeah, it's looking really believable there. In any case, I hope you would do the post-YnS-crisis encounter of the two afterwards. It should be quite the heartwarming closure, seeing how you write.

Go for it! I'll have your fic in my 'fanfics to read' list.

[Kha]

Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen

Erm... You're brewing an angst fest... Right ?

Somehow angst and old people doesnt quite cut it with me. I thot it was a teenager thing. Probably a tired, defeated warrior kind of thing. Just my 0.02 Velka dinars.

Originally Posted by Nightengale

You know me all too well, it's scary.

Besides, most of my fics, despite not being publicly open, loves screwing with their characters. If I ever get to writing MSCG, expect DEATH!ANGST!DRAMA!

Spoiler for I really shouldn't be writing this...I have exams tomorrow...I blame you, C2F!:

It was supposed to be a joyous moment. They were being blessed with a beautiful baby girl, who herself was supposed to be blessed with a beautiful future, as bright as the clear sky.

But it was not to be.

~~~~~~~~~

A bloody carnage. A scene out of the spawns of hell. Death...Despair...

Why? Why must this little child, who's not even old enough to call out her mother's name be cursed...cursed by darkness?

~~~~~~~~~

What was I thinking...? If I destroy this cursed artifact now, she'd be free... but this...this act merely prolongs disaster... Her parents were killed because of this...

What should I do?

~~~~~~~~~

"Damnit! DAMN!"

Another failure... after another... Is there really no way to stop this? Why...

God, if you exist...why must you torment me so? Why must I always fail to protect those I love? ( The talk about treasuring friendship, and how Aria/Lotte aren't named after his family name...I'm confident he's went through a lot in his life.)

~~~~~~~~

Lotte is clearly distraught. With tears flowing from her eyes, she's telling me to stop. I have tried enough, she said. Some things just don't have happy endings, she said.

"Lotte...Hayate sent me a letter last week. There, it talked of her dreams...her desires...her future... A part of me wants to help her realize that in a most foolish manner, but before I am her caretaker, I am a soldier. I protect the future of the people. And therefore, until it is too late, I haven't tried enough."

Lotte was silent, but her resolve can be seen through her clear eyes. I never said it out loud, but I was truly thankful...from the bottom of my heart.

~~~~~~~~

How long had it been now...It is almost a decade now...I have searched far and wide, and other than 'that' method, there was no other discovery.

And with her Knights awakened...It is already too late.

"Lotte...Aria...Proceed with your mission. Begin the construction of Durandal."

I am sorry...Hayate.

Sneak Preview I wrote in 7 minutes.

Yes, I realize it's bad, with cheese. But give my hands and head a break. I normally need more time to filter out the cheese and make it more coherent. So, expect some things to sound different in the final version.

It's really promising, but FOCUS ON YOUR EXAMS FIRST! I should be too...

[USB500]

Originally Posted by Nightengale

Gil Graham was the one who planned the "Seal Hayate + Tome of Darkness" for all eternity in a prison dimension.

The thing is that, since Graham was Hayate's financial backer for at least a few years minimum, he'd clearly knew of Hayate's possessionship of the Tome. I thought "How?" and Graham didn't strike to me as the type of man who'd jump on such a heartless even if realistic and works in a long term basis plan to literally destroy a small girl's future for the sake of others. Besides, if he knew early, he could've planned a lot of things in advance, but the fact that his familiars moved after TSAB got involved kinda hints something... in my mind, I like to think of it that he's made up his mind to use the most "effective but evil" method after it's too late...as if the Knights already awakened.

Hmm...I may write a few sentence sneak preview (( Really...I should be studying instead of doing this... )) in a day or 2.

I see. Thanks.

Originally Posted by Nightengale

\

Spoiler for I really shouldn't be writing this...I have exams tomorrow...I blame you, C2F!:

It was supposed to be a joyous moment. They were being blessed with a beautiful baby girl, who herself was supposed to be blessed with a beautiful future, as bright as the clear sky.

But it was not to be.

~~~~~~~~~

A bloody carnage. A scene out of the spawns of hell. Death...Despair...

Why? Why must this little child, who's not even old enough to call out her mother's name be cursed...cursed by darkness?

~~~~~~~~~

What was I thinking...? If I destroy this cursed artifact now, she'd be free... but this...this act merely prolongs disaster... Her parents were killed because of this...

What should I do?

~~~~~~~~~

"Damnit! DAMN!"

Another failure... after another... Is there really no way to stop this? Why...

God, if you exist...why must you torment me so? Why must I always fail to protect those I love? ( The talk about treasuring friendship, and how Aria/Lotte aren't named after his family name...I'm confident he's went through a lot in his life.)

~~~~~~~~

Lotte is clearly distraught. With tears flowing from her eyes, she's telling me to stop. I have tried enough, she said. Some things just don't have happy endings, she said.

"Lotte...Hayate sent me a letter last week. There, it talked of her dreams...her desires...her future... A part of me wants to help her realize that in a most foolish manner, but before I am her caretaker, I am a soldier. I protect the future of the people. And therefore, until it is too late, I haven't tried enough."

Lotte was silent, but her resolve can be seen through her clear eyes. I never said it out loud, but I was truly thankful...from the bottom of my heart.

~~~~~~~~

How long had it been now...It is almost a decade now...I have searched far and wide, and other than 'that' method, there was no other discovery.

And with her Knights awakened...It is already too late.

"Lotte...Aria...Proceed with your mission. Begin the construction of Durandal."

I am sorry...Hayate.

.

you know, this material could have inspired me for my Nanoha A's Combat scenario

Originally Posted by Kha

People watching your play has to buy insurance, but due to the high death rate of the audience, no insurance company is gonna sell one.

Insurance companies are way too afraid to involve in the stage play, which is very unfortunate for the audience

Originally Posted by Kha

*Profuse Nasal Haemorrhage*

You had to! You had to!

*Tries not to think dirty*

It's a sin... It's a sin... I'm a pure and innocent Cleric... It's a sin...

*fails anyway*

So do you want more?

[Kha]

Originally Posted by USB500

So do you want more?

*pinches nose*

Yes... I mean NO! But that would mean that I'm lying......

[USB500]

Originally Posted by Kha

*pinches nose*

Yes... I mean NO! But that would mean that I'm lying......

*imitates Dr. House and points to avatar* "While your mouth says no, your mind says yes."

Regarding the stage play, around this week or so, the crews are going to have a final meeting before the grand finale. Expect some Internet argument between Fate and Chrono throughout the meeting, whilst Hayate plans for an extravagant cosplay party for her fellows.

[Kha]

Originally Posted by USB500

*imitates Dr. House and points to avatar* "While your mouth says no, your mind says yes."

Regarding the stage play, around this week or so, the crews are going to have a final meeting before the grand finale. Expect some Internet argument between Fate and Chrono throughout the meeting, whilst Hayate plans for an extravagant cosplay party for her fellows.

*scratches back of head* Aha... Hai...

Well this certainly looks fun. I think there's room for a reference in the omake-filled Files 3. Dun worry I'll credit you if I decide to have that "disturbing" video recording of the Sleeping Lyrical pop up. For references so far there's GaiGaiGar (Subaru beat me to it! Grr...), Gundam (lots of it), Haruhi (as usual) and VA jokes. Chaos' Paranoia would be mentioned in brief too.

[Erio]

Originally Posted by blitz1/2

I believe that clip is made from this one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfJKpbl7eEg

Anyways for the HayateXChrono story. I have 2 options.

a. Do it like Z gundam (they are on opposite sides) (But I need to change the A's storyline to match it.)

b. They are friends but their relationship gets deeper.

I don't know, what do you think is better?

I'm sure for option (a) you'd have to write quite a lot of story. So I guess it depends on how much you'd like to write. I'm sure (a) would be most interesting!

[Chaos2Frozen]

Okay! This is for you Skyfall.

Since you people have a habit of of leave a small portion of your current fics here as sample, I figure what the heck!

As I've mentioned before, I'm working on the world's first Arf/Zafira fic, but due to unforeseen factors, I've accidentally made it EXTRA-LARGE... (Though it's still a one-shot)

This is going to take awhile... Enjoy the introduction first while I slave away...

Oh yeah, it'll be much better had you read my "paranoia of Chrono..." first

Spoiler for Introduction to "First Act: Canine A to Z":

Zafira begin tapping his paw patiently.

For as long as he had known her personally, Arf had never fail to be late for any appointment, by now he had gotten used to the fact that the female tsukaima is just down-right horrible at getting up on time.

Had he known what he was getting himself into the day he agree to it, he would had fought fang and claw against it. Unfortunately, he was ambushed and cornered by the not only Arf, but also the combine force of their individual masters.

They wanted him to follow her around for walks daily, as Arf doesn’t like to do them alone. Her usually company would be either Amy or her master, Fate. But with the recent troubles at the Bureau, it’s a lot harder for them to find time.

Which leads to them sweet-talking him to be her partner for the task after surrounding him one fine day.

Now, Zafira treasures this period of time he have to himself rather dearly. He considers it his retreat from his ever-crazy ‘family’ and was more than ready to outright decline had Hayate-sama and the young Testarossa girl not used the dreaded ‘puppy-dog’ eyes technique, as Chrono Haraoun calls it.

(“Ah, the irony…” Smirked Chrono.)

For future protection, Zafira made a mental note to be well prepared for the likelihood that his master might perform that dangerous technique on him again.

Not that it would actually help one bit.

Even if he did muster the courage and will power to say ‘no’ to her, he probably wouldn’t be able to fend off against Signum’s silent treatment, Shamal’s disappointed looks, Reinforce(II)’s heart-wrenching cries, as well as Vita’s spiteful words.

It’s really not easy being the good guy.

(“Ehehe- I know how you feel…” said Yuuno sympathetically.)

With a heavy heart, Zafira agreed to baby-sit the other familiar.

(“Don’t be so mean, Zafira!” teased Hayate, while the other members of the Wolkenritter could be heard snickering behind.)

Because of his one moment of weakness, he had to endure waiting in the park for the last thirty minutes, listening to crappy music played by senior citizens out for their morning exercise, and dodge children who were on their way to school from groping him... And as if things couldn't get worst, the sun seems to have purposely positioned itself to direct it’s rays at an angle that is now blinding his eyes.

“Still,” He sighed, “She didn’t have to make me swear on my honor…”

(“ZAFIRA! DO YOUR BEST, DESHOU?” encouraged his fellow knights with much enthusiasm.

“… I hate you guys…” Zafira mumbled bitterly as he walked off.)

[Kha]

Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen

Okay! This is for you Skyfall.

Since you people have a habit of of leave a small portion of your current fics here as sample, I figure what the heck!

As I've mentioned before, I'm working on the world's first Arf/Zafira fic, but due to unforeseen factors, I've accidentally made it EXTRA-LARGE... (Though it's still a one-shot)

This is going to take awhile... Enjoy the introduction first while I slave away...

Oh yeah, it'll be much better had you read my "paranoia of Chrono..." first

Spoiler for Introduction to "First Act: Canine A to Z":

Zafira begin tapping his paw patiently.

For as long as he had known her personally, Arf had never fail to be late for any appointment, by now he had gotten used to the fact that the female tsukaima is just down-right horrible at getting up on time.

Had he known what he was getting himself into the day he agree to it, he would had fought fang and claw against it. Unfortunately, he was ambushed and cornered by the not only Arf, but also the combine force of their individual masters.

They wanted him to follow her around for walks daily, as Arf doesn’t like to do them alone. Her usually company would be either Amy or her master, Fate. But with the recent troubles at the Bureau, it’s a lot harder for them to find time.

Which leads to them sweet-talking him to be her partner for the task after surrounding him one fine day.

Now, Zafira treasures this period of time he have to himself rather dearly. He considers it his retreat from his ever-crazy ‘family’ and was more than ready to outright decline had Hayate-sama and the young Testarossa girl not used the dreaded ‘puppy-dog’ eyes technique, as Chrono Haraoun calls it.

(“Ah, the irony…” Smirked Chrono.)

For future protection, Zafira made a mental note to be well prepared for the likelihood that his master might perform that dangerous technique on him again.

Not that it would actually help one bit.

Even if he did muster the courage and will power to say ‘no’ to her, he probably wouldn’t be able to fend off against Signum’s silent treatment, Shamal’s disappointed looks, Reinforce(II)’s heart-wrenching cries, as well as Vita’s spiteful words.

It’s really not easy being the good guy.

(“Ehehe- I know how you feel…” said Yuuno sympathetically.)

With a heavy heart, Zafira agreed to baby-sit the other familiar.

(“Don’t be so mean, Zafira!” teased Hayate, while the other members of the Wolkenritter could be heard snickering behind.)

Because of his one moment of weakness, he had to endure waiting in the park for the last thirty minutes, listening to crappy music played by senior citizens out for their morning exercise, and dodge children who were on their way to school from groping him... And as if things couldn't get worst, the sun seems to have purposely positioned itself to direct it’s rays at an angle that is now blinding his eyes.

“Still,” He sighed, “She didn’t have to make me swear on my honor…”

(“ZAFIRA! DO YOUR BEST, DESHOU?” encouraged his fellow knights with much enthusiasm.

“… I hate you guys…” Zafira mumbled bitterly as he walked off.)

*applause*

Finally someone does it! After the spagetti refs, I guess its only natural that you'd follow up.

As for me... Epi 5 stopped me in my tracks again... Even more question marks where I had conjured plots to seal the gap...

[Saint X]

Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen

Okay! This is for you Skyfall.

Since you people have a habit of of leave a small portion of your current fics here as sample, I figure what the heck!

As I've mentioned before, I'm working on the world's first Arf/Zafira fic, but due to unforeseen factors, I've accidentally made it EXTRA-LARGE... (Though it's still a one-shot)

This is going to take awhile... Enjoy the introduction first while I slave away...

Oh yeah, it'll be much better had you read my "paranoia of Chrono..." first

Spoiler for Introduction to "First Act: Canine A to Z":

Zafira begin tapping his paw patiently.

For as long as he had known her personally, Arf had never fail to be late for any appointment, by now he had gotten used to the fact that the female tsukaima is just down-right horrible at getting up on time.

Had he known what he was getting himself into the day he agree to it, he would had fought fang and claw against it. Unfortunately, he was ambushed and cornered by the not only Arf, but also the combine force of their individual masters.

They wanted him to follow her around for walks daily, as Arf doesn’t like to do them alone. Her usually company would be either Amy or her master, Fate. But with the recent troubles at the Bureau, it’s a lot harder for them to find time.

Which leads to them sweet-talking him to be her partner for the task after surrounding him one fine day.

Now, Zafira treasures this period of time he have to himself rather dearly. He considers it his retreat from his ever-crazy ‘family’ and was more than ready to outright decline had Hayate-sama and the young Testarossa girl not used the dreaded ‘puppy-dog’ eyes technique, as Chrono Haraoun calls it.

(“Ah, the irony…” Smirked Chrono.)

For future protection, Zafira made a mental note to be well prepared for the likelihood that his master might perform that dangerous technique on him again.

Not that it would actually help one bit.

Even if he did muster the courage and will power to say ‘no’ to her, he probably wouldn’t be able to fend off against Signum’s silent treatment, Shamal’s disappointed looks, Reinforce(II)’s heart-wrenching cries, as well as Vita’s spiteful words.

It’s really not easy being the good guy.

(“Ehehe- I know how you feel…” said Yuuno sympathetically.)

With a heavy heart, Zafira agreed to baby-sit the other familiar.

(“Don’t be so mean, Zafira!” teased Hayate, while the other members of the Wolkenritter could be heard snickering behind.)

Because of his one moment of weakness, he had to endure waiting in the park for the last thirty minutes, listening to crappy music played by senior citizens out for their morning exercise, and dodge children who were on their way to school from groping him... And as if things couldn't get worst, the sun seems to have purposely positioned itself to direct it’s rays at an angle that is now blinding his eyes.

“Still,” He sighed, “She didn’t have to make me swear on my honor…”

(“ZAFIRA! DO YOUR BEST, DESHOU?” encouraged his fellow knights with much enthusiasm.

“… I hate you guys…” Zafira mumbled bitterly as he walked off.)

hahah lol

Letter A: [Absolutely] : there is absolutely no way you can sway against your master, especially when your master is Hayate
---

lol

honestly I can't match up with any of you guys in the humor department

but with action and related stuff, maybe i can.

Spoiler for Future Scene for Nanoha Alternates... kamo...:

Nanoha was shocked to see not just the device that they have been searching all of these months, but also the person holding it. What that person said next even shocked her more, and this time even her core of beliefs was affected as well.
"Lyrical... Magical..."
And in a flash, the full realization of it all dawned upon her- why she was, of why she had, and most of all, who she was. Who would expect that that the person who carried you for nine months was that person who holds the key to your identity? no one, not even Nanoha herself.

[Chaos2Frozen]

I myself suck at drama, so you probably won't find any of those from me

I need you guys to help me do a quality-check if you don't mind , I'm not sure if I've got Arf's and/or Zafira's personality right (or at least close enough), so give me some feedback...

This part Continues right after the introduction...

Spoiler for "First Act: Canine A to Z":

Arf showed up fifty minutes later.

“You’re late… Again.” Zafira pointed out. "...With a new record." He added.

“Oh don’t be such a grouch!” Arf pouted.

“I’m not. I’m just stating the obvious…” Zafira counted. But Arf was already ten steps ahead of him.

“Come on slowpoke!” She laughed.

Zafira sighed, knowing that nothing good will happen today... The best course of action is just to go with the flow and hope that things would just work itself out... Or at least be over a lot faster. Not wanting to fall behind, he quickly picked up the pace and caught up with his female companion.

“Where are we heading?” Zafira asked.

“I’m thinking of heading to Nanoha-chan’s family cafe first,” Arf’s eyes lite up, “If we get there fast enough we can make it in time for the morning breakfast meal!”

“Didn’t you eat before you came?” Zafira asked, but Arf ignored him.

“Lets see, I think we should head to Fate-chan’s school after that.” She said, “Even if we take our time, we should still be able to make it around noon!”

“Wait, why are-“

“OOH! OOH! I heard Suzuka-chan always bring Ootoro during this day of the week!” Arf rambled on. “Those things really are delicous! You should try some!”

“Eh, Arf…” Zafira nudge her with his nose.

“Hmm where else can w- OH! I know!” Arf giggled excitedly, “There’s a restaurant near your place! I remember Fate-chan told me about it when Hayate-chan brought her there! I always wanted to try that!”

“Arf… Why are all the places you suggested are related to food? “

“Oh, that’s just coincidental…” Arf replied off-handedly.

“Somehow I get the feeling that it’s intentional- Hey! Wait up!"

"Hurry up!!" Yelled Arf from across the road.

Thanks

[Nightengale]

Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen

I myself suck at drama, so you probably won't find any of those from me

lol, and I think I'm better at drama than other aspects of writing.

Spoiler for "First Act: Canine A to Z":

Arf showed up fifty minutes later.

“You’re late… Again.” Zafira pointed out. "...With a new record." He added.

“Oh don’t be such a grouch!” Arf pouted.

“I’m not. I’m just stating the obvious…” Zafira counted. But Arf was already ten steps ahead of him.

“Come on slowpoke!” She laughed.

Zafira sighed, knowing that nothing good will happen today... The best course of action is just to go with the flow and hope that things would just work itself out... Or at least be over a lot faster. Not wanting to fall behind, he quickly picked up the pace and caught up with his female companion.

“Where are we heading?” Zafira asked.

“I’m thinking of heading to Nanoha-chan’s family cafe first,” Arf’s eyes lite up, “If we get there fast enough we can make it in time for the morning breakfast meal!”

“Didn’t you eat before you came?” Zafira asked, but Arf ignored him.

“Lets see, I think we should head to Fate-chan’s school after that.” She said, “Even if we take our time, we should still be able to make it around noon!”

“Wait, why are-“

“OOH! OOH! I heard Suzuka-chan always bring Ootoro during this day of the week!” Arf rambled on. “Those things really are delicous! You should try some!”

“Eh, Arf…” Zafira nudge her with his nose.

“Hmm where else can w- OH! I know!” Arf giggled excitedly, “There’s a restaurant near your place! I remember Fate-chan told me about it when Hayate-chan brought her there! I always wanted to try that!”

“Arf… Why are all the places you suggested are related to food? “

“Oh, that’s just coincidental…” Arf replied off-handedly.

“Somehow I get the feeling that it’s intentional- Hey! Wait up!"

"Hurry up!!" Yelled Arf from across the road.

Naisu.

As expected, you retain your sharp witty writing. I'm not 100% sure on Arf, since I'd expect her to have slight character changes now with her new "taking care of children" and "Yuuno's semi-assistant" role but I think you've got it fairly nicely. I thought Zafira was more..."down-to-earth" in A's, but I don't remember him too well, but I suppose your "still-down-to-earth-but-catches-on" transition works well, considering the Knight's character development.

“Eh, Arf…” Zafira nudge her with his nose.

Nice touch there. :P

I am getting Simba/Nala vibes.

[Chaos2Frozen]

Originally Posted by Nightengale

Naisu.

As expected, you retain your sharp witty writing. I'm not 100% sure on Arf, since I'd expect her to have slight character changes now with her new "taking care of children" and "Yuuno's semi-assistant" role but I think you've got it fairly nicely. I thought Zafira was more..."down-to-earth" in A's, but I don't remember him too well, but I suppose your "still-down-to-earth-but-catches-on" transition works well, considering the Knight's character development.

“Eh, Arf…” Zafira nudge her with his nose.

Nice touch there. :P

Don't worry, I had this in my head before StrikerS came out, so whatever personality Arf had in A's, I want to retain it.

I am getting Simba/Nala vibes.

You know why I wanted to check? Becuase down the road after 3000 words or so, I had a shocking surprise when I read my story again for the 10th time...

I had made their conversions uncanningly like Haruhi and Kyon's O_O Without even thinking about it!

Which means, this calls for an overhaul