AnimeSuki Forums

Register Forum Rules FAQ Community Today's Posts Search

Go Back   AnimeSuki Forum > Anime Discussion > Older Series > Retired > Retired M-Z > Nanoha/Vivid Franchise

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 2009-07-13, 12:45   Link #14281
Jimmy C
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
Stahlkönigin--Chapter 27
So, there's only the Epilogue after this?

Quote:
"If it's any consolation you were actually knocked out by hitting your head on the pavement when the blast knocked you down,"
That's not what you wrote in ch25. Did you change your mind?

Quote:
"Mariel-san has her downstairs in the lab,"
Has HIM, you mean?

Quote:
"You might want to check in just to make sure he doesn't come out with chrome trim and a turbocharger...whatever those are."
Could be worse...
Spoiler for much worse:


Good choice going with this then the epilogue. That's one of the signatures of the nanoha series, an entire episode devoted to the post-climax windup.
Jimmy C is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2009-07-14, 07:10   Link #14282
spawnofthejudge
Explodes when thrown
*IT Support
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Age: 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
Whoa! We're spawning!
i c whut u did thar

Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
Interesting fic. To answer your question, Chrono comes off like he's tired not so much from physical tiredness but in a "symptom-of-depression" kind of tiredness. That is, he's made a decision, and believes it's the right decision, but having to confront the consequences of that decision is taking its toll on him--kind of in the same way, but in a more "wearing away over time" sense that Lutecia did in RadiantBeam's fic, "Shadow."
Thank you... It's close to what I was going for.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
(I like his response to Amy about his actions in A's. It's not that he necessarily opposed Admiral Graham's plan because torturing a nine-year-old into insanity so that she gets possessed by an ancient artifact, then freezing that artifact into stasis, then pitching said artifact into a rift between dimensions so said girl can be alone in her madness until the end of days is a morally bad thing, but because once he was in the field, the conditions "on the ground" revealed that it was a bad plan not optimized for the highest chances of success--Hayate, Reinforce, and the Wolkenritter didn't operate in the way Graham assumed they would, and Durandal wasn't up to the job they needed it to do.)
...After reading this, it seems you got exactly what I was going for. Yes. I'll ask it more directly: Does he seem slightly (but not completely) less sane?

Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
I like that Amy, although not privy to the details of particular operations, knows precisely what Chrono's department entails. The wife of the director of the NSA, after all, isn't likely to think her husband's hands are clean and tidy.
I work for a gov. contractor. There's a joke sometimes told: "There's quite a few levels of classification. Secret, Top Secret, Super Secret, and Don't Tell Your Wife."

Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
I strongly suspect that Hayate knows everything that she wants to know about what the Shadows do, just because she's Hayate. On the other hand, Hayate is not Nanoha; she probably believes that a government the size of the TSAB requires a black-ops division, so her objections would be more likely along the lines of specific, particular decisions ("I'm not arguing that the ends don't sometimes justify the means, Chrono; it's that these particular ends don't justify the precise means uses in this circumstance. You've got another agent there who got too comfortable in the darkness."). I have a feeling her questioning is meant more to keep him honest rather than to make any actual inquiry.
I have a feeling she's worried about Chrono and his conscience. She wouldn't be the type to out-and-out refuse to have a black-ops division, but you can be damn sure she'd want to keep it from crossing the line in her head between 'acceptable' and 'unacceptable'. I also think this Chrono appreciates her nagging deep down: it keeps him on his toes, and better at his job. ....Did I mention I don't like his job?

Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
Oh, and is the implication supposed to be that the last report Chrono picked up is the one on Lutecia's frag-up that ended up being the spur for RB's "Shadow"?
Actually, I hadn't thought of that, but it fits too well to say no.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
The Solution
I didn't answer because I was stumped.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AtomicoX View Post
Chapter 9 - Crushed Dreams
My only real issue with this chapter is that you seemed to spend a lot of time either in flashback or on characters far removed from the narrative-thus-far. It gave the chapter a feel of not much happening, since you haven't established the doctor's (or his patient's) connection to the rest of the plot yet, and in a flashback it's not that something's happening so much as something happened. So your chapter felt slow without actually being slow, if that makes sense.

It probably didn't help that I found myself uninterested in the scenes with the doctor.
__________________
Badass.
spawnofthejudge is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2009-07-14, 07:27   Link #14283
NorthernFallout
The Interstellar Medium
*Author
 
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: [SWE]
Age: 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by spawnofthejudge View Post
My only real issue with this chapter is that you seemed to spend a lot of time either in flashback or on characters far removed from the narrative-thus-far. It gave the chapter a feel of not much happening, since you haven't established the doctor's (or his patient's) connection to the rest of the plot yet, and in a flashback it's not that something's happening so much as something happened. So your chapter felt slow without actually being slow, if that makes sense.

It probably didn't help that I found myself uninterested in the scenes with the doctor.
Even from my PoV the chapter was kinda intended slow with more focus on pure information. I think the whole chapter boils down to personal preference this time around because I personally like stuff similar to it in other fiction.

However, everything in this chapter has a connection in some way. Ch10 will probably catch up more.
__________________

NorthernFallout is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2009-07-14, 12:56   Link #14284
Satashi
Vividly Vivio
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Over there
Age: 40
Send a message via AIM to Satashi
One thing that I will always know is what recycled air tasted like. It was sharp and crisp, chilled to make it feel cleaner. It held a slight scent of wildlife to it, but we all knew it was artificial. Any visitor on a spaceship for the first time would comment on how the air was so nice, but for those of us who went on and off of it... Nothing was as nice as our home planet's atmosphere. This thought was driven home as I was teleported onto my normal ship. The familiar bridge greeted me along with the captain. He smiled and told me how glad he was to have me back aboard his ship. After a polite conversation, I excused myself and headed off to my room to unpack from my unplanned vacation.

Amber Dreams III
By: Satashi
Satashi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2009-07-14, 13:15   Link #14285
spawnofthejudge
Explodes when thrown
*IT Support
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Age: 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post

Amber Dreams III
By: Satashi
Do you post these tasty little morsels when you start a chapter, or when it's winding down?
__________________
Badass.
spawnofthejudge is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2009-07-14, 14:13   Link #14286
Nanya01
Left for TFF
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Frozen Hell of the North
Age: 41
Send a message via AIM to Nanya01
Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post

VampireFate

A.) Nanoha
B.) Fate
Is it too late to vote for the next part, Satashi?

If not, I'd like to say A.
__________________

My fics Due to certain things, I am not here, find me over on TFF.
Nanya01 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2009-07-14, 17:55   Link #14287
DezoPenguin
Beta by Accident
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Maine
Age: 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jimmy C View Post
So, there's only the Epilogue after this?
Yep. I'll probably post it tomorrow.

Quote:
That's not what you wrote in ch25. Did you change your mind?
No, I wasn't paying attention--got distracted by Fate's chapter. I'll have to edit it to state that the concussion was from hitting her head.

Quote:
Has HIM, you mean?
Tonight on Channel 5! The Secret Lives of Hermaphroditic Intelligent Devices: Data Transfer Scandals You Won't Believe!

...yeah. Typo.

Quote:
Could be worse...
Spoiler for much worse:
I'm just trying to figure out where the cartridge magazine goes on Sacred Heart (or conversely, why she wouldn't have one, when she's a hand-to-hand fighter even in ViVid)...

Quote:
Good choice going with this then the epilogue. That's one of the signatures of the nanoha series, an entire episode devoted to the post-climax windup.
Personally I always want to see extended epilogues. There's nothing worse than spending the time working my way through a story, whether it's written, a movie, or on TV, getting involved in the characters' lives and conflicts, then have it just...end...without any thought about what comes next or what it all meant.

Quote:
Originally Posted by spawnofthejudge View Post
i c whut u did thar
*wince* Would you believe it wasn't even intentional?

Quote:
...After reading this, it seems you got exactly what I was going for. Yes. I'll ask it more directly: Does he seem slightly (but not completely) less sane?
Um...actually, no, not really. At least, not if you accept "pragmatism to the extent that one can operate a black-ops unit" as being something that can qualify as sane. It's more like the whole ends-versus-means morality debate is wearying him, but not that it's sucking him in for the craziness.

Quote:
I have a feeling she's worried about Chrono and his conscience. She wouldn't be the type to out-and-out refuse to have a black-ops division, but you can be damn sure she'd want to keep it from crossing the line in her head between 'acceptable' and 'unacceptable'. I also think this Chrono appreciates her nagging deep down: it keeps him on his toes, and better at his job. ....Did I mention I don't like his job?
No, you didn't. Which is significant when you look at this kind of thing. Frankly, RadiantBeam defined the Shadows as being pretty far "out there" as intelligence services go; Lutecia's litany of their work in "Shadow" includes not only ordinary intelligence-gathering and shadow-ops activity but the kind of things that get dragged before Congressional hearings. There's a world of difference between "assassinate an enemy leader/general/criminal" and "kill an innocent noncombatant for the sake of a hypothetical greater good" (which is always the rub--in real life, it's never as certain as "kill one to save one hundred"; those situations only exist in discussions of ethics rather than in reality). Frankly, they're more like the KGB than the CIA, just with less explicit authority to back up the mandate.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
One thing that I will always know is what recycled air tasted like. It was sharp and crisp, chilled to make it feel cleaner. It held a slight scent of wildlife to it, but we all knew it was artificial. Any visitor on a spaceship for the first time would comment on how the air was so nice, but for those of us who went on and off of it... Nothing was as nice as our home planet's atmosphere. This thought was driven home as I was teleported onto my normal ship. The familiar bridge greeted me along with the captain. He smiled and told me how glad he was to have me back aboard his ship. After a polite conversation, I excused myself and headed off to my room to unpack from my unplanned vacation.

Amber Dreams III
By: Satashi
While I'm looking forward to the next story, I have to say that I completely disagree with what I presume are Fate's sentiments. I'd kill to live in that level of climate control.
DezoPenguin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2009-07-14, 18:23   Link #14288
spawnofthejudge
Explodes when thrown
*IT Support
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Age: 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
*wince* Would you believe it wasn't even intentional?
Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
Um...actually, no, not really. At least, not if you accept "pragmatism to the extent that one can operate a black-ops unit" as being something that can qualify as sane. It's more like the whole ends-versus-means morality debate is wearying him, but not that it's sucking him in for the craziness.
I actually like where I went better instead. It doesn't get my dislike of the organization across, but it does get the fact that it's really hard on him to do it in any way anyone might approve of.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
No, you didn't. Which is significant when you look at this kind of thing. Frankly, RadiantBeam defined the Shadows as being pretty far "out there" as intelligence services go; Lutecia's litany of their work in "Shadow" includes not only ordinary intelligence-gathering and shadow-ops activity but the kind of things that get dragged before Congressional hearings. There's a world of difference between "assassinate an enemy leader/general/criminal" and "kill an innocent noncombatant for the sake of a hypothetical greater good" (which is always the rub--in real life, it's never as certain as "kill one to save one hundred"; those situations only exist in discussions of ethics rather than in reality). Frankly, they're more like the KGB than the CIA, just with less explicit authority to back up the mandate.
I did, actually, in a review of your offering over at ff.net.

And all that is why I only feel like this could work for Chrono if Hayate or someone similarly tempered were keeping him honest. I like to think good of beloved characters.

Oh, and
Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
Yep. I'll probably post it tomorrow.
__________________
Badass.
spawnofthejudge is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2009-07-14, 18:55   Link #14289
DezoPenguin
Beta by Accident
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Maine
Age: 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by spawnofthejudge View Post
Sorry; I'll try to pay more attention to pun opportunities in the future!

Quote:
And all that is why I only feel like this could work for Chrono if Hayate or someone similarly tempered were keeping him honest. I like to think good of beloved characters.
You know, it's really amazing, when you get around to looking at it, just how many people in MGLN are total, complete bastards: Precia, Gil, Lotte & Aria (actually, I hate them more than Gil), Regius, Quattro (maybe the most telling moment about her was when she actually makes Dieci, one of her fellow villains, sick), Due, the Brains. (And the fanservice-laden Sound Stages make me feel lousy about the regular cast, but that's a different story). And just how many of those people are in positions of authority. And then every season ends with the kind of happy-smiley-rainbows-and-bunnies endings as would be expected from all the pink magic flying around. Weird series! Maybe that's why it's so much fun, because it refuses to be confined to the limits of any given genre.

Anyways, how about a fic chapter:

Spoiler for Blood & Spirit--Chapter 2:


Spoiler for Notes:
DezoPenguin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2009-07-14, 19:38   Link #14290
Satashi
Vividly Vivio
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Over there
Age: 40
Send a message via AIM to Satashi
Quote:
Originally Posted by spawnofthejudge View Post
Do you post these tasty little morsels when you start a chapter, or when it's winding down?
When I start them normally <3

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
Is it too late to vote for the next part, Satashi?

If not, I'd like to say A.
vote counted ~
Satashi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2009-07-14, 20:11   Link #14291
spawnofthejudge
Explodes when thrown
*IT Support
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Age: 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
it's not right to be prej-- predu-- mean


Interesting diversion. Quick major character death, though, I must say. How long is this going to be?
__________________
Badass.
spawnofthejudge is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2009-07-14, 20:21   Link #14292
RadiantBeam
Test Drive
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: USA
Age: 33
Send a message via AIM to RadiantBeam
Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
Spoiler for Blood & Spirit--Chapter 2:


Spoiler for Notes:
*cringes*

Oh, major ouchies there. Glad to see Arisa was so determined to bring Suzuka back, but man, what a way to go. And poor Suzuka; she certainly can't help it in her condition, but the guilt and grief's going to hit her pretty hard. Seems like it already is, but it'll only get worse.

And since I know Triangle Heart, I know what happens next!

And on your omake... it's probably true, but really, Shinbou, is that the best you could do?!
__________________
RadiantBeam is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2009-07-14, 21:57   Link #14293
Nanya01
Left for TFF
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Frozen Hell of the North
Age: 41
Send a message via AIM to Nanya01
Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
Anyways, how about a fic chapter:

Spoiler for Blood & Spirit--Chapter 2:


Spoiler for Notes:
Where can I find the first chapter to this?
__________________

My fics Due to certain things, I am not here, find me over on TFF.
Nanya01 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2009-07-14, 22:23   Link #14294
DezoPenguin
Beta by Accident
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Maine
Age: 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by spawnofthejudge View Post


Interesting diversion. Quick major character death, though, I must say. How long is this going to be?
Not sure; I don't have a concrete outline for it, only a very general storyline (Villain is up to X, character relationships and powers with be Y, that sort of thing, not the the-darn-outline-is-as-long-as-some-chapters kind of thing I had for Stahl.)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
Where can I find the first chapter to this?
Page 713 of this thread. Right here, in fact!
DezoPenguin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2009-07-14, 23:32   Link #14295
Jimmy C
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
I'm just trying to figure out where the cartridge magazine goes on Sacred Heart (or conversely, why she wouldn't have one, when she's a hand-to-hand fighter even in ViVid)...
Either it doesn't have one,
Spoiler for or:


I have a hunch the creator forgot about them. But if SH truly doesn't use a cartridge system, it would be a refreshing break. Since A's, virtually every mage we've seen uses it, whether it seems neccessary or not. And just look at how spell power is measured on the OC dicussion by how many cartridges each spell uses.
Jimmy C is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2009-07-15, 02:00   Link #14296
Nanya01
Left for TFF
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Frozen Hell of the North
Age: 41
Send a message via AIM to Nanya01
Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
Not sure; I don't have a concrete outline for it, only a very general storyline (Villain is up to X, character relationships and powers with be Y, that sort of thing, not the the-darn-outline-is-as-long-as-some-chapters kind of thing I had for Stahl.)



Page 713 of this thread. Right here, in fact!
Thanks.

Now things are getting interesting...
__________________

My fics Due to certain things, I am not here, find me over on TFF.
Nanya01 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2009-07-15, 09:58   Link #14297
RadiantBeam
Test Drive
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: USA
Age: 33
Send a message via AIM to RadiantBeam
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jimmy C View Post
Either it doesn't have one,
Spoiler for or:


Interesting image, that.
__________________
RadiantBeam is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2009-07-15, 11:11   Link #14298
Nanya01
Left for TFF
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Frozen Hell of the North
Age: 41
Send a message via AIM to Nanya01
Well, I dunno if anyone ever read this or not but...

Grand Tour, 21 chapters, completed today. Less than 5 months and it's complete. Just... Wow, incredible. It's a mega crossover, set a little after Nanoha StrikerS. Some of the chapters may require you to check your willing suspension of disbelief, but, it's still a good read. Nanoha and Co. don't get involved right away, but... Still worth a read, IMO.

Check it out if you're interested.
__________________

My fics Due to certain things, I am not here, find me over on TFF.
Nanya01 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2009-07-15, 12:05   Link #14299
Satashi
Vividly Vivio
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Over there
Age: 40
Send a message via AIM to Satashi
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
Well, I dunno if anyone ever read this or not but...

Grand Tour, 21 chapters, completed today. Less than 5 months and it's complete. Just... Wow, incredible. It's a mega crossover, set a little after Nanoha StrikerS. Some of the chapters may require you to check your willing suspension of disbelief, but, it's still a good read. Nanoha and Co. don't get involved right away, but... Still worth a read, IMO.

Check it out if you're interested.
It's a Ranma 1/2 fic with some Nanoha in it?
Satashi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2009-07-15, 12:38   Link #14300
Nanya01
Left for TFF
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Frozen Hell of the North
Age: 41
Send a message via AIM to Nanya01
Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
It's a Ranma 1/2 fic with some Nanoha in it?
Started with Ranma 1/2 and Nanoha became a central force to the story, yes.
__________________

My fics Due to certain things, I am not here, find me over on TFF.
Nanya01 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
authorshipping, befriending, fanfiction, interactive fanfiction, nanoha


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 14:52.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
We use Silk.