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Old 2009-10-31, 14:25   Link #2081
RadiantBeam
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Hell, I'm a woman and half the time I don't understand some of the women I meet or know. I certainly don't understand your girlfriend, here.... I'd love to hear her explaination for why she was acting like this.
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Old 2009-10-31, 21:43   Link #2082
Ascaloth
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Maybe she's your regular tsundere?
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Old 2009-10-31, 22:06   Link #2083
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post
Maybe she's your regular tsundere?
+9000 if she has twintails.

Some girls are like that though...I remember this friend of mine would get so angry at me over little things, and usually at the flick of a switch.

She's since mellowed out a lot.
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Old 2009-10-31, 22:11   Link #2084
Splitpersonality
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I think maybe she's sort of beating herself up over something she did, or maybe something you did but didn't realize.

I think it's all her problems in her head, from what you've said you didn't do anything wrong, and I really don't think you did. I'd leave her to figure it out herself :P, but be there for her obviously.



In news with me, just got home from a date with the girl, went great. The Vampire's Assistant has reaffirmed my enjoyment of Darren Shan as an author, and it gave me a bit of confidence with the girl, who I get to see a lot this week.

Sorry to post a positive thing in this thread, I feel kinda bad not having to come here for advice, but I feel like bragging :P
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Old 2009-10-31, 22:26   Link #2085
Ascaloth
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whitepearl View Post
+9000 if she has twintails.

Some girls are like that though...I remember this friend of mine would get so angry at me over little things, and usually at the flick of a switch.

She's since mellowed out a lot.
Oooh yeah, I also remember this girl back when I was about 12. You know, it's the period during our development where girls are actually larger and stronger than guys? Yup, she used that to good effect. Was a right terror chasing smaller guys and laying a smackdown on them for the smallest thing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Splitpersonality View Post
In news with me, just got home from a date with the girl, went great. The Vampire's Assistant has reaffirmed my enjoyment of Darren Shan as an author, and it gave me a bit of confidence with the girl, who I get to see a lot this week.

Sorry to post a positive thing in this thread, I feel kinda bad not having to come here for advice, but I feel like bragging :P
LOL. If I were to report what I did a couple of nights ago, now that would have been bragging.
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Old 2009-11-01, 00:29   Link #2086
Timdog
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How do I get more physical with girls? I have encountered 0 problems talking to them, but I know I need to start escalating things once I meet them or I'll be put in the dreaded friend zone. I just feel so uncomfortable touching other people (besides a hug) and I know it would be very uncomfortable (creepish) for the girl if I feel uncomfortable myself.

Also, anyone have anyway to get my mind off of girls constantly? I really have no idea how to stop obsessing over them, I try to stay busy with school and such but it still is there in the back of my head.
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Old 2009-11-01, 15:59   Link #2087
RadiantBeam
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For getting more physical with girls, it's very important that you take the time to build a bond with them and become a friend they feel comfortable around; that way, when you do touch them in a way that isn't a hug, they might find it a little odd but they wouldn't mind it overwise because they know you and they trust you. Trying to do something like that to a person you barely know doesn't work.

Tips for keeping your mind off girls... I just say continue to focus on school, or pick up a hobby for something else you like so you're keeping your mind busy and don't think about them so much.

Hope this helps. ^__^
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Old 2009-11-01, 16:15   Link #2088
Maji
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I would suggest what Radiantbeam about girls in terms of touching. When you have that bond going on, places it's socially acceptable to touch can be seen through body language. When a girl talks to you, she'll often point her legs towards you if she's interested, will touch you (remember grade school? when girls hit/touch you it's a good thing), or will get fidgetty -- keep brushing her hair, play with her keys, etc. This all sounds pretty obvious but it's pretty basic/easy signs to see if they are into you.

If you see some of these signs, their arm, slightly above the elbow is ok when you have to lean in to talk to them, if you're in a crowded and loud place for instance. Creates a small but important physical bond with the person. Plus no girl is going to yell at you for slightly touching her arm. As things progress, the small of their back is ok, (as if you were doing the waltz with them), and if you've made it this far, you'll probably be able to figure out on your own what's ok and what's not.

best of luck! ;3
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Old 2009-11-01, 16:41   Link #2089
Narona
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UltimaWolf View Post
Though I really don't get women .
You know, it's not as if all women understand all men either =D

Quote:
Originally Posted by Timdog View Post
How do I get more physical with girls? I have encountered 0 problems talking to them, but I know I need to start escalating things once I meet them or I'll be put in the dreaded friend zone. I just feel so uncomfortable touching other people (besides a hug) and I know it would be very uncomfortable (creepish) for the girl if I feel uncomfortable myself.
You don't need to absolutely get physical with girls to hit on some of them (at least at the beginning), y'know.

Quote:
Also, anyone have anyway to get my mind off of girls constantly? I really have no idea how to stop obsessing over them, I try to stay busy with school and such but it still is there in the back of my head.
Explain? Is it because you have a particular girl in mind, or are you just driven by hormones? Be careful to not see girls as object you just want to "touch"


Quote:
Originally Posted by Maji View Post
I would suggest what Radiantbeam about girls in terms of touching. When you have that bond going on, places it's socially acceptable to touch can be seen through body language. When a girl talks to you, she'll often point her legs towards you if she's interested, will touch you (remember grade school? when girls hit/touch you it's a good thing), or will get fidgetty -- keep brushing her hair, play with her keys, etc. This all sounds pretty obvious but it's pretty basic/easy signs to see if they are into you.

If you see some of these signs, their arm, slightly above the elbow is ok when you have to lean in to talk to them, if you're in a crowded and loud place for instance. Creates a small but important physical bond with the person. Plus no girl is going to yell at you for slightly touching her arm. As things progress, the small of their back is ok, (as if you were doing the waltz with them), and if you've made it this far, you'll probably be able to figure out on your own what's ok and what's not.

best of luck! ;3
Objection. There are a few. I am one of them. Friend or not, they don't have that right and I point out everytime when it happens. Beside "accident" that i could understand (even if my Radar works quite well when men try to "create" accidents ), they better have a good reason if they do it

Don't ask for a particular reason, there is not any in particular beside that they don't have that right. Period.

Last edited by Narona; 2009-11-01 at 17:44.
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Old 2009-11-01, 23:22   Link #2090
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I have seen this thread and i am in need of some advice!

I am a loner type person, and it's hard for me to make the connection im looking for. I usually get pushed to the close friends position, some one to come to for advice(which is usually good advice). I have yet to make the clencher, or when i do, it's girls that just ain't my type or maybe i expect too much.

By clencher i don't mean sex, because thats not what i'm about. I mean the "yes i will go out with you" clencher.

it scares me a bit that i'm actually ok being single, perhaps its my working enviroment, where everyone is married, and im the only single person. maybe these "spouse stories " are wearing me down as i do not have one to give, just "my ex" stories, which are amusedly far and in between lol.

I'm a very content person, i don't require much of anything, so I guess what i'm asking is how do i break that reclusive loner mode that has become me? I could ask my close friends but their advice doesn't quite suit what i'm going for.

any serious advice would suffice or pm i you want im open to almost anything. I'm attempting a slight make over of myself. Thanks in advace.
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Old 2009-11-01, 23:58   Link #2091
LeoXiao
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crusader View Post
I have seen this thread and i am in need of some advice!

I am a loner type person, and it's hard for me to make the connection im looking for. I usually get pushed to the close friends position, some one to come to for advice(which is usually good advice). I have yet to make the clencher, or when i do, it's girls that just ain't my type or maybe i expect too much.

By clencher i don't mean sex, because thats not what i'm about. I mean the "yes i will go out with you" clencher.

it scares me a bit that i'm actually ok being single, perhaps its my working enviroment, where everyone is married, and im the only single person. maybe these "spouse stories " are wearing me down as i do not have one to give, just "my ex" stories, which are amusedly far and in between lol.

I'm a very content person, i don't require much of anything, so I guess what i'm asking is how do i break that reclusive loner mode that has become me? I could ask my close friends but their advice doesn't quite suit what i'm going for.

any serious advice would suffice or pm i you want im open to almost anything. I'm attempting a slight make over of myself. Thanks in advace.
You probably don't have to change yourself that's much to get a serious girlfriend. You probably just need to be more open and let people know what kind of person you are. If there's someone who likes your kind of personality around you, you will have a chance of getting to know them better, but ONLY if you actually make some efforts to talk to them.
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Old 2009-11-02, 08:43   Link #2092
Narona
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crusader View Post
I have seen this thread and i am in need of some advice!

I am a loner type person, and it's hard for me to make the connection im looking for. I usually get pushed to the close friends position, some one to come to for advice(which is usually good advice). I have yet to make the clencher, or when i do, it's girls that just ain't my type or maybe i expect too much.

By clencher i don't mean sex, because thats not what i'm about. I mean the "yes i will go out with you" clencher.

it scares me a bit that i'm actually ok being single, perhaps its my working enviroment, where everyone is married, and im the only single person. maybe these "spouse stories " are wearing me down as i do not have one to give, just "my ex" stories, which are amusedly far and in between lol.

I'm a very content person, i don't require much of anything, so I guess what i'm asking is how do i break that reclusive loner mode that has become me? I could ask my close friends but their advice doesn't quite suit what i'm going for.

any serious advice would suffice or pm i you want im open to almost anything. I'm attempting a slight make over of myself. Thanks in advace.
In the case of your female friends, have you ever tried to ask one of your friends out? Or do you wait for the girls to ask it to you?

You may be scared to lose a friend by doing that (correct me if I'm wrong), but wonder if it worths taking the risk. If you're interested in one of your friends, and if you know that she is single, what about trying?

I know it' easy to say XD But there's little chance that something will happen if you just sit down and wait, and if the girls around you are not the kind to confess/ask men out ^^
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Old 2009-11-02, 18:00   Link #2093
Jinto
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Maji View Post
...
If you see some of these signs, their arm, slightly above the elbow is ok when you have to lean in to talk to them, if you're in a crowded and loud place for instance. ...

best of luck! ;3
A loud and crowded place aka club is actually a very good idea.

Spoiler for Why:


Quote:
Originally Posted by Narona View Post
You don't need to absolutely get physical with girls to hit on some of them (at least at the beginning), y'know.
Still, the problem of - how to initialize getting physical - cannot be avoided somewhen. And to do it in a non-awkward way is often not easy at all.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Narona View Post
Objection. There are a few. I am one of them. Friend or not, they don't have that right and I point out everytime when it happens. Beside "accident" that i could understand (even if my Radar works quite well when men try to "create" accidents ), they better have a good reason if they do it

Don't ask for a particular reason, there is not any in particular beside that they don't have that right. Period.
But be careful once you made it your life's philosophy you might feel awkward if you actually found the one for you but cannot deal with the new situation.
Actually it feels awkward to give you such an advice...
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Old 2009-11-02, 19:48   Link #2094
Narona
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Originally Posted by Jinto View Post
Still, the problem of - how to initialize getting physical - cannot be avoided somewhen. And to do it in a non-awkward way is often not easy at all.
There's people who start getting physical once they start dating a person (so after the confession). That way it might be seen as less awkward.

Or on the opposite, you can try the Ascaloth-Kamikaze-Style (Joking aside, Ascaloth proved that it can work)

Quote:
But be careful once you made it your life's philosophy you might feel awkward if you actually found the one for you but cannot deal with the new situation.
Actually it feels awkward to give you such an advice...
Not at all You just worry a bit, that's nice of you

You should not worry though ;-)

Last edited by Narona; 2009-11-02 at 20:15.
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Old 2009-11-02, 20:34   Link #2095
Crusader
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LeoXiao View Post
You probably don't have to change yourself that's much to get a serious girlfriend. You probably just need to be more open and let people know what kind of person you are. If there's someone who likes your kind of personality around you, you will have a chance of getting to know them better, but ONLY if you actually make some efforts to talk to them.
Humour me, but It's easy to talk to someone who is of a less moral stripe than myself, but i find it so much harder when they are morally higher than myself in thier beliefs. What's more i have a thing for women who are strong minded, but usually end up with many who have self esteem issues,but i totally understand what you're saying.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Narona
In the case of your female friends, have you ever tried to ask one of your friends out? Or do you wait for the girls to ask it to you?

You may be scared to lose a friend by doing that (correct me if I'm wrong), but wonder if it worths taking the risk. If you're interested in one of your friends, and if you know that she is single, what about trying?

I know it' easy to say XD But there's little chance that something will happen if you just sit down and wait, and if the girls around you are not the kind to confess/ask men out ^^
I value all of my female friends, but it's ruined at least one friendship. I told her how I felt, but it was super akward for both of us and the last time we were together there was a bunch of akward silences, and it as never been the same for us.

As for the asking out men... hmm i hadn't thought about that. *looks behind me and there's a closet door* lol im kidding of course. But i appreciate the advice.
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Old 2009-11-02, 20:38   Link #2096
Narona
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crusader View Post
I value all of my female friends, but it's ruined at least one friendship. I told her how I felt, but it was super akward for both of us and the last time we were together there was a bunch of akward silences, and it as never been the same for us.
That's one of the risks, but look at it the other way, if it had worked out, it could have been the beginning of something good. I don't think you should see what you've done just as a mistake.

Quote:
As for the asking out men... hmm i hadn't thought about that. *looks behind me and there's a closet door* lol im kidding of course. But i appreciate the advice.
Misunderstanding ftl

I meant that if the girls around you are the type of girls "who never confess first and wait to be asked out by men", then you should try to do the first step, because there's less chance that a girl will ask you out.

Sorry if my previous reply was not clear enough

Last edited by Narona; 2009-11-02 at 21:05.
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Old 2009-11-03, 00:42   Link #2097
Ascaloth
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Originally Posted by Narona View Post
Or on the opposite, you can try the Ascaloth-Kamikaze-Style (Joking aside, Ascaloth proved that it can work)
You make it sound like I'm such a crazy shit.

And seriously, I wouldn't advise this course of action unless you're absolutely sure that the girl has the kind of personality who can take it well, whatever the result.
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Old 2009-11-03, 08:06   Link #2098
Narona
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Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post
You make it sound like I'm such a crazy shit.
False accusations! I didn't mean it like that, I swear!

*runs*

Quote:
And seriously, I wouldn't advise this course of action unless you're absolutely sure that the girl has the kind of personality who can take it well, whatever the result.
Evaluating the risks, like

- 95% of success
- 4% that she could slap me.
- 1% that she could use a dangerous object that could kill me

I see... i see
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Old 2009-11-03, 08:59   Link #2099
Ascaloth
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Originally Posted by Narona View Post
Evaluating the risks, like

- 95% of success
- 4% that she could slap me.
- 1% that she could use a dangerous object that could kill me

I see... i see
LOL something like that, though I would also include the chance that she would reject me gracefully without resorting to violence. Of course, granted that stealing kisses is a particularly bold tactic (nominee for understatement of the year? ), one might think the chances of a girl rejecting a guy who did that without slapping him might be rather low.

Anyway, talking about the girl, update on my situation:

She's getting stressed over her schoolwork the last few days. What are the things I can do to help her get over this tough period? :3
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Old 2009-11-03, 13:04   Link #2100
Dextro
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Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post
She's getting stressed over her schoolwork the last few days. What are the things I can do to help her get over this tough period? :3
I would say give her time and space to finish whatever she needs to finish but be present if she needs to talk, let out steam or just go out to unwind and wants your company. I find that when people are stressed one should let them cool off and if you try to be too pro-active you might just stress the person even more.
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