Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

[MrTerrorist]

Michael Bay’s Ninja Turtles shuts down. Are these turtles toast?

Happy now?

[aohige]

Yes.

Are you insinuating that you are NOT?

[Solace]

Originally Posted by MrTerrorist

Happy now?

This one deserves an image to sum up my emotions right now.



Michael Bay's movie formula:

1. Distill a classic plot down to its basic points.
2. Ignore it anyway, but include low brow humor and pop culture references.
3. Add random slow motion money shots to every scene.
4. Lens flare. But not too much, we don't want to copy Abrams.
5. Physics defying explosions.
6. Physics defying breasts.
7. Get endorsement from US military.
8. Profit.

[MrTerrorist]

Originally Posted by aohige

Yes.

Are you insinuating that you are NOT?

Nope. Never care about this Micheal Bay film.

[ganbaru]

Originally Posted by Solace

This one deserves an image to sum up my emotions right now.



Michael Bay's movie formula:

1. Distill a classic plot down to its basic points.
2. Ignore it anyway, but include low brow humor and pop culture references.
3. Add random slow motion money shots to every scene.
4. Lens flare. But not too much, we don't want to copy Abrams.
5. Physics defying explosions.
6. Physics defying breasts.
7. Get endorsement from US military.
8. Profit.

You forgot 9. Pissing off fan of the Classical material.

[Kirito]

Having the turtles being aliens from another planet kills the mutant aspect of what makes them awesome and creative, and feels like a slap to the face because I love the ninja turtles and I used to cosplay as them for Halloween when I was younger. This just really kills me inside because it feels like my childhood heroes are being stomped and spat on. Micheal Bay...you suck!

[Vexx]

It appears to have been canned.... so the turtles are safe for the moment from Mr. Bay and his nonsense.

[Vallen Chaos Valiant]

Originally Posted by Kirito

Having the turtles being aliens from another planet kills the mutant aspect of what makes them awesome and creative, and feels like a slap to the face because I love the ninja turtles and I used to cosplay as them for Halloween when I was younger. This just really kills me inside because it feels like my childhood heroes are being stomped and spat on. Micheal Bay...you suck!

Worse, them being aliens then implies that there is a planet full of them. That's just wrong. The TMNT are unique, there are no others like them. They are also very much Earthlings, despite being mutants. The Turtles behave like normal teenagers. This just isn't possible to justify if they were raised in an alien culture and immigrated later.

[Roger Rambo]

Originally Posted by Vallen Chaos Valiant

Worse, them being aliens then implies that there is a planet full of them. That's just wrong. The TMNT are unique, there are no others like them. They are also very much Earthlings, despite being mutants. The Turtles behave like normal teenagers. This just isn't possible to justify if they were raised in an alien culture and immigrated later.

What I didn't get(not that I was to worked up about it) was why you NEEDED to change the Turtles background. It sounds like you have to spend more time on exposition to explain alien origins than it would be to say "aliens, get over it".

[Destined_Fate]

Originally Posted by SOGESNAKE

Hmmmmmmm.... if it does well.... I predict..... 3-4 movies. The first 2 will be fine, but the 3rd and 4th one will be basically the first movie.


But looking at the pattern they seem to be taking with their movies... first Transformers... now this.... what's next? Samurai Pizza Cats? Street Sharks? Gargoyles? Johnny Quest? Dare I say... SWAT Katz?

SWAT Katz? No... Don't let Micheal Bay touch SWAT Katz!

[Solace]

Originally Posted by Roger Rambo

What I didn't get(not that I was to worked up about it) was why you NEEDED to change the Turtles background. It sounds like you have to spend more time on exposition to explain alien origins than it would be to say "aliens, get over it".

I didn't keep up much with the Turtles comics, but from what I recall the Turtles version of the future was one where Earth became an intergalactic hub in which aliens and humans lived together. The Turtles didn't need to hide at that point and lived out in the open with everyone else.

All of the cartoons also used some variation of the comics space travels (although the Triceratons weren't used much for some reason), but the origin of the Turtles as being mutations of Earth turtles never changed. So no, they were never aliens, and Bay is an idiot for thinking it was a good idea to change it. The whole point of the origin is that they are unusual creations who weren't meant to exist.

[Ithekro]

I was under the impression that Bay's change was only that the ooze was of alien origin....not the turtles themselves.

[Daniel E.]

Another curious bit is that all the turtles are named after famous renaissance artists.

If they were to suddenly become aliens, then the movie would have been forced to either ignore the origin of their names or come up with something completly different to explain this.

[Kafriel]

Originally Posted by MrTerrorist

Michael Bay’s Ninja Turtles shuts down. Are these turtles toast?

Happy now?

You bet! *does the happy dance*

I don't know how people come up with these kinds of scripts, but I will most certainly be glad to see it halted indefinitely.

What I didn't get(not that I was to worked up about it) was why you NEEDED to change the Turtles background. It sounds like you have to spend more time on exposition to explain alien origins than it would be to say "aliens, get over it".

Alien turtles from outer space invaded the planet in their turtleship...in order to save it from an evil native mastermind who wanted to destroy the world! Aliens care for their neighbors like that :P

P.S: Their spaceship crashed in the sewers, WIN!

[james0246]

Originally Posted by Daniel E.

Another curious bit is that all the turtles are named after famous renaissance artists.

If they were to suddenly become aliens, then the movie would have been forced to either ignore the origin of their names or come up with something completely different to explain this.

Duh, they are alien orphans taken in a raised by someone else.

What I don't understand is were the giant mutant rat fits into the whole alien storyline. Was there supposed to be two alien species (one giant rats, the other giant turtles)? Or were they just going to get rid of Splinter as a Rat all together?

Whatever the case, it is nice that the current production has been shut down. But don't let that fool you, there will still be another live-action TMNT film eventually, and the next script could be far worse (they won't be turtles anymore, but rather humans that gained the superpowers of a turtle (ala Spiderman)...).

[Kafriel]

they won't be turtles anymore, but rather humans that gained the superpowers of a turtle (ala Spiderman)...

Superpowers of a turtle...like slow-motion and portable housing?

[james0246]

Originally Posted by Kafriel

Superpowers of a turtle...like slow-motion and portable housing?

Yes, the new film will be a tense socio-economic drama about a group of sewer dwellers nicknamed the Turtles who are forced to use their super power of portable housing to keep themselves alive during trying times (there main form of food will be thrown away pizza crusts from a nearby diner). The main villian will be Eric Shredder, a cruel janitor at the diner who is always chasing the Turtles away from the refuse pizza crusts. Splinter will be played by a lively rat that the Turtles use to try a insert some humor into their bleak and desperate lives.

Edit: I think I just made myself depressed...

[Yuno]

I would rather the sun explode it's detonated solar whatever, and kill us all... than have to endure another Bay flick. If he makes a trilogy heads will roll.

[Ithekro]

Originally Posted by james0246

Yes, the new film will be a tense socio-economic drama about a group of sewer dwellers nicknamed the Turtles who are forced to use their super power of portable housing to keep themselves alive during trying times (there main form of food will be thrown away pizza crusts from a nearby diner). The main villian will be Eric Shredder, a cruel janitor at the diner who is always chasing the Turtles away from the refuse pizza crusts. Splinter will be played by a lively rat that the Turtles use to try a insert some humor into their bleak and desperate lives.

Oddly, I can see that. But it would either be a college made production or a Kevin Smith movie.

[kenjiharima]

Originally Posted by MrTerrorist

Michael Bay’s Ninja Turtles shuts down. Are these turtles toast?

Happy now?

Indeed Iam.