AnimeSuki Forums

annetteflynn · 2011-10-02, 10:34

Ooh. Good for you

solomon · 2011-10-19, 11:16

This thread has gone colder than a founded flounder in the middle of a Minnesota October.

Question time;

Everyone know the textbook manner of romantic relationships; boy meets girl, boy and girl talk, date, become intimate get forced into shotgun marriage.......

But how often is it that people actually make a relationship happen AFTER first meeting and having sex?

I was talking with the boys about this and they were telling me about how my perception of romance was far too colored by what I've seen in movies and stuff, and that sometimes that crazy night you had with that chick you met at a party could lead to something more than hangovers and awkward regrets (and mysterious credit card bills

)

Puddingman · 2011-10-19, 12:06

Haha, I don't know man, I think a lot of people do it, but a lot of people get divorced too.

I think about how people attract others similar to themselves. So with this in mind, all the people will poor values stick together, and the people with good values stick together. Makes the situation much safer and redeemable in some ways, knowing you won't generally get mixed in with the trash.

I'm a fan of the "friends for a long time before getting romantic", cause that's more secure and reliable.

IMO, dating is overrated and there's a lot of unnecessary stress placed on it. I mean, I'm not good at meeting ladies with romantic interests in mind, but I think about my high school buddies who invested so much time into relationships (2-4 years) and they all broke up during college. So if you're someone who thinks you're missing out on things now, you haven't missed much in terms of having a reliable life partner.

solomon · 2011-10-19, 15:56

Well for me,

I am 23 and never really dated (well once but thats it). I didn't really care before but now I want to do it, it's just that I know that despite me not being into "flings" I know that I don't want to get married any time soon.

So I was wondering if I was putting too much emphasis about going about romantic relationships in some textbook manner.

I think dating is fine as long as you don't make it uber dramatic.

TO provide some context, the original quote that prompted this question is a response I read on another forum. It reads as thus......

Relationships don't always work in this way:

-Get befriended
-Like eachother
-Become an official couple
-Have sex
-Get married.

A lot of guys and girls who have little to no experience think every single relationship works that way, but it's more vague. Guys meet up with girls in bars and if they are attracted to eachother they'll have sex with them as well. They don't even need to get in a relationship.

Puddingman · 2011-10-19, 16:07

Yea man, we've got the same values. I'm glad to see that =). I do believe that sex first leads to short lived infatuations instead of relationships. But there are different things for different people.

I think as far as looking for romance, just look for a cool girl who you consider a buddy. IMO, relationships with "girl friend" should be like having a good friend, except you sleep with them. So, I don't know, that's just what I think.

Also, lol, marriage is totally bogus, unless you're religious. Functionally I don't believe marriage to enhance a relationship, just makes it more difficult to get out of (not to sound pessimistic). I know an older girl who lives with her boyfriend; they're not married and perfectly fine with it.

I'm also a fan of that cheesy saying, "Love yourself before others". It's the truth. Yourself = perfect company haha.

Anyways, you will find what you need. No worries.

(I hope that didn't sound too preachy)

GDB · 2011-10-19, 18:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by Puddingman

Also, lol, marriage is totally bogus, unless you're religious.

Completely, 100% wrong. It's also an amazing tax deduction.

Puddingman · 2011-10-19, 20:07

Quote:

Completely, 100% wrong. It's also an amazing tax deduction.

So then tell me what else it's good for. You're not providing much support for your opinion.

GDB · 2011-10-19, 20:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by Puddingman

So then tell me what it's good for. You're not providing much support for your opinion.

Did you not read the second sentence? Or just know nothing about tax?

Puddingman · 2011-10-19, 20:16

Quote:

So then tell me what else it's good for.

I'm asking you for more information but you seem unable.

ChainLegacy · 2011-10-19, 20:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by GDB

Completely, 100% wrong. It's also an amazing tax deduction.

He's not 100% wrong if you factor in the fact that there's really no legitimate reason why there should be a tax deduction (or why everyone shouldn't just get a deduction). It's just cultural discrimination as I see it; I understand it might boost economy if people pool resources but that isn't a reason to discriminate.

GDB · 2011-10-19, 20:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by Puddingman

I'm asking you for more information but you seem unable.

Marriage being a tax benefit is not an opinion. It is fact. I'm not "unable" to provide more information, I merely thought based on your wording that you didn't read what I wrote. After all, you said I didn't support my opinion, yet I clearly posted a fact to support it. Anyway...

Standard Deductions for 2011 (as of this Summer, at least)
Single: $5,800
Head of Household: $8,500
Married filing jointly: $11,600
Married filing separately: $5,800

Not to mention these filing statuses affect your tax brackets, which have single and married filing separately jump into higher brackets at lower dollar levels.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChainLegacy

He's not 100% wrong if you factor in the fact that there's really no legitimate reason why there should be a tax deduction (or why everyone shouldn't just get a deduction). It's just cultural discrimination as I see it; I understand it might boost economy if people pool resources but that isn't a reason to discriminate.

I'm not saying it's justified, but I am saying it's a fact that it happens this way. Whether it should or not is irrelevant, as he's still 100% wrong for saying it's bogus outside of religion.

Puddingman · 2011-10-19, 20:54

That's interesting, I didn't know there was that much involved with marriage in society. I'm not going to go over the semantics that confused us, I was trying to ask you for more information because I didn't understand the tax thing, and also wondering if marriage had any other benefits. I'm glad that you were able to get past arguing with me so you could provide me with an educational experience.

whitepearl · 2011-10-19, 23:36

I tend to think I have an overly romanticized and "old-fashioned" way of romance.

I guess it also explains why I'm still single. (Not going to talk about that other girl I had mentioned in previous posts as it seems like she's given up on me so I'm giving up on her)

There was some article I read a few years ago that said more people hook up first and then start dating—a reversal of how things used to be done.

solomon · 2011-10-20, 00:05

There is nothing wrong with that, it just depends on your comfort zone and preferences. You'll just have to search for someone who is similar to you.

Some would counter that it is an issue of adapting to the situation. If you want to have a better success or activity yield then you will have to abide by the prevailing rules at large (with in reason of course, not saying you need to go bareback every weekend for you fellas out there).

Thinking about it, I don't think hooking up and sex sooner rather than later is necessarily a bad thing. Nor does it preclude a possible long term relationship later. It just depends on how open you are and how mature you and your potential partners are, not to mention the effort you put into afterwards (that is of course if there was enough attraction beyond what happened between the sheets, or where ever.)

Last Sinner · 2011-10-20, 02:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by synaesthetic

Money.

That's what I want.

Kiss my butt and I'll give you some. :P

HasuMasu · 2011-10-20, 05:17

Quote:

Originally Posted by solomon

Well for me,

I am 23 and never really dated (well once but thats it). I didn't really care before but now I want to do it, it's just that I know that despite me not being into "flings" I know that I don't want to get married any time soon.

So I was wondering if I was putting too much emphasis about going about romantic relationships in some textbook manner.

I think dating is fine as long as you don't make it uber dramatic.

TO provide some context, the original quote that prompted this question is a response I read on another forum. It reads as thus......

Relationships don't always work in this way:

-Get befriended
-Like eachother
-Become an official couple
-Have sex
-Get married.

A lot of guys and girls who have little to no experience think every single relationship works that way, but it's more vague. Guys meet up with girls in bars and if they are attracted to eachother they'll have sex with them as well. They don't even need to get in a relationship.

In this country, the majority of people
think like that, regardless of age, while
I, one of the few that don't think like this,
it becomes difficult to get into the dating
scene, not that it matters for now.

solomon · 2011-10-20, 07:46

wait i am confused what do a majority think like? That they just hook up, knock boots and then maybe something happens?

I dunno if you can make such broad statements.

HasuMasu · 2011-10-20, 07:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by solomon

wait i am confused what do a majority think like? That they just hook up, knock boots and then maybe something happens?

I dunno if you can make such broad statements.

Ah no, I meant to say that everybody I've known
in this country other than myself believes in the
movie-like relationship, no that there's anything
wrong with that.

ChainLegacy · 2011-10-20, 07:59

Quote:

Originally Posted by Detective-san

Ah no, I meant to say that everybody I've known
in this country other than myself believes in the
movie-like relationship, no that there's anything
wrong with that.

What country do you live in?

I've noticed the opposite trend stateside.. but now that I'm getting older some friends are settling down.

Ah the void of teenage years.

Kafriel · 2011-10-20, 08:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by solomon

Well for me,

I am 23 and never really dated (well once but thats it). I didn't really care before but now I want to do it, it's just that I know that despite me not being into "flings" I know that I don't want to get married any time soon.

So I was wondering if I was putting too much emphasis about going about romantic relationships in some textbook manner.

I think dating is fine as long as you don't make it uber dramatic.

TO provide some context, the original quote that prompted this question is a response I read on another forum. It reads as thus......

Relationships don't always work in this way:

-Get befriended
-Like eachother
-Become an official couple
-Have sex
-Get married.

A lot of guys and girls who have little to no experience think every single relationship works that way, but it's more vague. Guys meet up with girls in bars and if they are attracted to eachother they'll have sex with them as well. They don't even need to get in a relationship.

The only thing that -I- know is that my friends tend to have an extra girl just for sex, who they had met at a club sometime and had a good time afterwards. Suffice to say, they want to stay as far away from a relationship as possible...and the girls don't disappoint.

2011-10-19, 12:06	Link #9603
Puddingman Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Age: 35	Haha, I don't know man, I think a lot of people do it, but a lot of people get divorced too. I think about how people attract others similar to themselves. So with this in mind, all the people will poor values stick together, and the people with good values stick together. Makes the situation much safer and redeemable in some ways, knowing you won't generally get mixed in with the trash. I'm a fan of the "friends for a long time before getting romantic", cause that's more secure and reliable. IMO, dating is overrated and there's a lot of unnecessary stress placed on it. I mean, I'm not good at meeting ladies with romantic interests in mind, but I think about my high school buddies who invested so much time into relationships (2-4 years) and they all broke up during college. So if you're someone who thinks you're missing out on things now, you haven't missed much in terms of having a reliable life partner. __________________

2011-10-19, 16:07	Link #9605
Puddingman Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Age: 35	Yea man, we've got the same values. I'm glad to see that =). I do believe that sex first leads to short lived infatuations instead of relationships. But there are different things for different people. I think as far as looking for romance, just look for a cool girl who you consider a buddy. IMO, relationships with "girl friend" should be like having a good friend, except you sleep with them. So, I don't know, that's just what I think. Also, lol, marriage is totally bogus, unless you're religious. Functionally I don't believe marriage to enhance a relationship, just makes it more difficult to get out of (not to sound pessimistic). I know an older girl who lives with her boyfriend; they're not married and perfectly fine with it. I'm also a fan of that cheesy saying, "Love yourself before others". It's the truth. Yourself = perfect company haha. Anyways, you will find what you need. No worries. (I hope that didn't sound too preachy) __________________

2011-10-19, 20:54	Link #9612
Puddingman Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Age: 35	That's interesting, I didn't know there was that much involved with marriage in society. I'm not going to go over the semantics that confused us, I was trying to ask you for more information because I didn't understand the tax thing, and also wondering if marriage had any other benefits. I'm glad that you were able to get past arguing with me so you could provide me with an educational experience. __________________

2011-10-19, 23:36	Link #9613
whitepearl Dietrich fan #681675 Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: New York	I tend to think I have an overly romanticized and "old-fashioned" way of romance. I guess it also explains why I'm still single. (Not going to talk about that other girl I had mentioned in previous posts as it seems like she's given up on me so I'm giving up on her) There was some article I read a few years ago that said more people hook up first and then start dating—a reversal of how things used to be done. __________________ Go Yankees. Twitter

2011-10-02, 10:34	Link #9601
annetteflynn Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2011	Ooh. Good for you

2011-10-19, 11:16	Link #9602
solomon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Suburban DC	This thread has gone colder than a founded flounder in the middle of a Minnesota October. Question time; Everyone know the textbook manner of romantic relationships; boy meets girl, boy and girl talk, date, become intimate get forced into shotgun marriage....... But how often is it that people actually make a relationship happen AFTER first meeting and having sex? I was talking with the boys about this and they were telling me about how my perception of romance was far too colored by what I've seen in movies and stuff, and that sometimes that crazy night you had with that chick you met at a party could lead to something more than hangovers and awkward regrets (and mysterious credit card bills )

2011-10-19, 15:56	Link #9604
solomon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Suburban DC	Well for me, I am 23 and never really dated (well once but thats it). I didn't really care before but now I want to do it, it's just that I know that despite me not being into "flings" I know that I don't want to get married any time soon. So I was wondering if I was putting too much emphasis about going about romantic relationships in some textbook manner. I think dating is fine as long as you don't make it uber dramatic. TO provide some context, the original quote that prompted this question is a response I read on another forum. It reads as thus...... Relationships don't always work in this way: -Get befriended -Like eachother -Become an official couple -Have sex -Get married. A lot of guys and girls who have little to no experience think every single relationship works that way, but it's more vague. Guys meet up with girls in bars and if they are attracted to eachother they'll have sex with them as well. They don't even need to get in a relationship.

2011-10-20, 00:05	Link #9614
solomon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Suburban DC	There is nothing wrong with that, it just depends on your comfort zone and preferences. You'll just have to search for someone who is similar to you. Some would counter that it is an issue of adapting to the situation. If you want to have a better success or activity yield then you will have to abide by the prevailing rules at large (with in reason of course, not saying you need to go bareback every weekend for you fellas out there). Thinking about it, I don't think hooking up and sex sooner rather than later is necessarily a bad thing. Nor does it preclude a possible long term relationship later. It just depends on how open you are and how mature you and your potential partners are, not to mention the effort you put into afterwards (that is of course if there was enough attraction beyond what happened between the sheets, or where ever.)

2011-10-20, 07:46	Link #9617
solomon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Suburban DC	wait i am confused what do a majority think like? That they just hook up, knock boots and then maybe something happens? I dunno if you can make such broad statements.