Brother has become an addict, getting really angry and frustrated.

[Highman]

Like always, If you can play his game, just gotta be lower than that. And always patience with on when the time is right.

[Justin Kim]

I tried suggesting going outside today, and much to my suprise, he actually did for a breather. But when I thought he was going out "exercising" supposively or so he said. Instead, I tried calling his phone, and he did not pick up. So I guessed where he would be...and what do you know, I was right? A gaming cafe or whatever they call them at a mall playing counter-strike with a LAN party.

As a user mentioned this before: This is evidently not the potential become to an addict, but he clearly is an addict from anyone's viewpoint. I mean clearly taking a glance at him will change your mind. I found that games have obstructed his life in such a way that his personality from a obedient, shy boy has turned into a deceptive, conniving brother.

[windstar!~]

Originally Posted by Justin Kim

As a user mentioned this before: This is evidently not the potential become to an addict, but he clearly is an addict from anyone's viewpoint. I mean clearly taking a glance at him will change your mind. I found that games have obstructed his life in such a way that his personality from a obedient, shy boy has turned into a deceptive, conniving brother.

While you're unable to accept the fact that he is just going through a phase many of us have been going through - this is just a phase and definitely not the end of his social-life and the beginning of his self-destruction. Your brother found something he likes and while it appears weird/stupid to you he loves it, it's just a hobby. As my friend Kylaran pointed out earlier he changed, temporarily, in a way where things that might appear really important to you (i.e getting a girlfriend) became less important for him. It's okay to be worried about your brother but isn't what you are doing the wrong thing? To me it seems just as if you're trying to force the image of a, to you, ideal person on him - a person he doesn't want to be. I, myself, have had others trying to force an image/lifestyle on me and I've sent them all to hell because it's not who I want to be and it's annoying to see people running around like crazy because they want to change you from, as they would call it, 'abnormal' to 'normal'. My friend, do me a favour and define normality and abnormality. Isn't being "abnormal" just a different way of being "normal"?

[yezhanquan]

Well, I think the line has been drawn. To me,a neglect of personal hygiene means the person doesn't respect those who he interacts with.

[FateAnomaly]

He doesn't want to interact with other people though lol.

[yezhanquan]

Originally Posted by FateAnomaly

He doesn't want to interact with other people though lol.

Well, let's remove all food and water in the house. He has to go out there and buy something, or has someone bring it to him.

[SaintessHeart]

Originally Posted by yezhanquan

Well, let's remove all food and water in the house. He has to go out there and buy something, or has someone bring it to him.

Or we can tie him to a board, tilt his head backwards and pour ice water all over his face.

I think you are REALLY starting to worry too much about him. I wouldn't say that he is deceptive and conniving right now, but rather he just wants his own way of action for his life, something different from his peers that will give him a sense of achievement.

[yezhanquan]

Nah, the words just make me seem like a worry wart. As it is now, I'm more worried about my own hygiene. Singapore's weather tends to make a sweat bomb out of me.

[Justin Kim]

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

Or we can tie him to a board, tilt his head backwards and pour ice water all over his face.

I think you are REALLY starting to worry too much about him. I wouldn't say that he is deceptive and conniving right now, but rather he just wants his own way of action for his life, something different from his peers that will give him a sense of achievement.

I really do not see an achievement in spending 10+ hours playing counter-strike source everyday. I never stated I was worrying too much, but that this continuous onset of playing was going to be detrimental to both his mental and physical health.

[SaintessHeart]

Originally Posted by Justin Kim

I really do not see an achievement in spending 10+ hours playing counter-strike source everyday. I never stated I was worrying too much, but that this continuous onset of playing was going to be detrimental to both his mental and physical health.

I don't think any TD/H have enough stamina to do that. When your eyes start to dry and your eye muscles start to strain, that is where the onset comes in, thus why sports are nothing compared to gaming.

That should be a small achievement. Look at the different side of things, competitive gaming is much tougher than competitive sports (unless the sport is a bloodsport, of course).

I give thanks to long hours of gaming for being able to focus for long hours while doing all the combat movements in the army. Besides, an achievement is PERCEIVED, because I seriously don't think it is an achievement being able to run 10km with a 30kg pack, but being able to fight off an ambush in an online game (7/8v3/4) is one.

That is why people make comments that "He is still a poor man back in Africa" when Usain Bolt broke the 100m world record.

On the other hand, I think he DOES need to do some RL sports or exercise if he wants to become a better gamer. Stamina is often key to winning computer games, IMO.

[yezhanquan]

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

I because I seriously don't think it is an achievement being able to run 10km with a 30kg pack.

It shouldn't be. As long as you're in combat service during your stint in the SAF, you get to do it. So yeah.

[Spicy~Noodles]

Originally Posted by windstar!~

While you're unable to accept the fact that he is just going through a phase many of us have been going through - this is just a phase and definitely not the end of his social-life and the beginning of his self-destruction. Your brother found something he likes and while it appears weird/stupid to you he loves it, it's just a hobby. As my friend Kylaran pointed out earlier he changed, temporarily, in a way where things that might appear really important to you (i.e getting a girlfriend) became less important for him. It's okay to be worried about your brother but isn't what you are doing the wrong thing? To me it seems just as if you're trying to force the image of a, to you, ideal person on him - a person he doesn't want to be. I, myself, have had others trying to force an image/lifestyle on me and I've sent them all to hell because it's not who I want to be and it's annoying to see people running around like crazy because they want to change you from, as they would call it, 'abnormal' to 'normal'. My friend, do me a favour and define normality and abnormality. Isn't being "abnormal" just a different way of being "normal"?

This is clearly, not a phase my friend. It has taken a toll on his mental health. Someone needs to send SaintessHeart over to fix this issue.

Edit: Oh yeah, I met a progamer yesterday. He stopped being a pro!! Lol.. because he met his wife. LOL he just got married like 2 days ago.

[ClockWorkAngel]

An issue would be probably getting him someone to idolize, other than perhaps yourself.

If you can find a gamer friend who actually takes care of himself (You'll find them), you may want to hook them both up, you'll be amazed what some pushing by someone you admire may do for a person.

Really it's a difficult thing to do alone.

[cheyannew]

Originally Posted by ClockWorkAngel

If you can find a gamer friend who actually takes care of himself (You'll find them), .

*giggle*
A lot of them exist rofl; I worked for a gaming company (MMO, specifically, mind you) and out of, I think, 175ish employees, we had maybe 10 I would consider the "non-hygenic" types. A chunk were women like myself, and the rest men, MOST of whom had a partner and yes, showered daily

Now, yes, there was the rare guy who I swear showered once a month when his boss finally took him aside and said "Hey wtf you stink there's been complaints" LOL but on the whole, thankfully, the gamers I have encountered are not uh.... well.. what I guess the stereotype of gamer is? Heck if I know the phrasing LOL.

FWIW, I'm still a supporter of getting parents involved in their kids lives, but that's me as a parent speaking. My snarky and callous nature also has taught me over the years that a large # of issues w/ teens/kids is actually DUE to the parents, so yeah
I do point out I don't think "persuading" the kid to get a boy/girlfriend is the right way to go about it, though. Also pointing out the majority of people out there do prefer their mates to be, uh.. well.. shower daily, at least

[Senbon Zakura]

Well, I used to have an (almost) problem but I had nothing better to do. I play CSS myself and last summer my parents worked 9 AM to 6 PM, six days a week...while I was stuck at home babysitting for my little brother. I wasn't getting paid or anything, and I sure as shit wasn't gonna watch TV...because summer reruns make me want to vomit. So, I pretty much played CSS and WoW from when they left at 9 until about 5, because my meals altogether were a half hour each max.

The thing that made me not an addict is I immediately went outside with my friends when my parents got home xD

Here's what you need to do. He plays on his laptop, correct? Make him something to eat, something delicious. A really big juicy sandwich, pizza, Burger King, whatever he really likes and will immediately want. Tell him it's downstairs waiting for him (if your house is two floors, if not tell him its in whatever room is on the opposite side of the house). If he questions your nice-ness, tell him you went out and thought he'd be hungry so you got him something. When he leaves the room, take the laptop and give it to your parents and explain the problem. Obviously they will take it and make sure he doesn't play anymore. Thats it- cold turkey. Trust me, its the only way. People say that managing your time to like an hour a day DOES NOT WORK. Even playing a little bit makes you want to play more and more. After a month or two, see if his mood has improved. If so, he can have it back. If not, wait another month, and keep going until he gets the picture. THEN you start using CSS time management - an hour a day for the first month he has it, two hours a day the second month, and then whatever time he wants. But AFTER his homework is done.

The thing is, being the sister it shouldn't be your responsibility to manhandle your brother because he won't get off his ass to do something with his life. I've been there, so trust me on this one - you HAVE to get the parents involved.

[Kylaran]

Originally Posted by Justin Kim

I really do not see an achievement in spending 10+ hours playing counter-strike source everyday. I never stated I was worrying too much, but that this continuous onset of playing was going to be detrimental to both his mental and physical health.

Too bad your language makes it seem like those of us who play a lot of video games are evil creatures who deceive others. Have you ever thought of the fact industries attached to video games (professional leagues, virtual currency) are steadily growing and have been less impacted by the recession than other industries?

Maybe your brother wants to be good enough to be the best at something, and maybe that something is a game that takes time to get good at? To me, this is no different than a sport. Ever try talking to your brother about how he feels about gaming instead of trying to "fix" him?

[lsley]

I guess one of the major problems is, that it's just a way to have fun that you just won't accept, maybe he doesn't accept yours, but he lets you do what you want, you not.
And why is he aggressive? What do you think? Imagine someone always going into your room when you're having sex with your gf and saying: "Hey, this is no good, get out of the house and have some fresh air, [bla bla bla]."

I also never understood, why should I stop gaming and therefore go away drinking (that's definitely not healthier ), so if you want him to do something else, show him something that's more interesting for him, considering that gaming is an activity that is a lot of fun to him.

[Narona]

Originally Posted by lsley

I guess one of the major problems is, that it's just a way to have fun that you just won't accept, maybe he doesn't accept yours, but he lets you do what you want, you not.

That's not the question. His parents seem to not care about what he's doing right now but a time will come when they will care. Especially if the boy fu*** up his studies.

Also, if I was his mother, I would not like to see him not doing the cleaning, even in his bedroom. As I see it, kids live in their parents' house. It's not as if the room was the kid's property. So, he would have to clean it.

If I understood correctly, he also doesn't help anyone. He expects his family (like justin kim) to do the cleaning, the chores, to do the cooking, to bring up money, while Mister just enjoys his little life while not caring about the other people, like a little prince.

As I said, if I was his mom, he would experience what hell is.

[Senbon Zakura]

Originally Posted by Narona

As I said, if I was his mom, he would experience what hell is.

Thats what I kind of wanted to say but didn't want to be mean xD

Not that you're being mean. That particular statement can be misunderstood.

[SaintessHeart]

So far, have you taken any action to probe into his thoughts other than complaining?