Parents / Family: opinions, comments and discussion

[Yotem]

Unless you have kids yourself and/or are over 25 whatever you say about your parents is basically worthless. That basically means I can't judge my parents either, and as such all of the following is my still heavily biased opinion.

Most kids whine about school and their parents, and from my experience it's simply because they're kids and their view of life is lmited. Some parents have problems and are psychotic (for lack of a better word), however they're far form the majority.

I don't get along with my parents, we view things differently and it's caused many problems. However, they try to do what's best for me and are in many ways very liberal. I
was far from a perfect child and that led to most of the problems. I love them however I can't spend more than two weeks with them before things turn ugly.

Why do people think their parents owe them anything? "They're supposed to" means nothing, they're supposed to raise you into whatever they feel is a "good adult" by their standards. If it means hitting you so that you behave and don't act like a spoiled brat then so be it. You can always try calling child services if you think they're abusing you, however I heard foster homes aren't always nice.

Originally Posted by hobobaggins

if your parents were billionaires, and still wouldnt get you a car, that would be messed up.

No, that would be them trying to not create a spoiled brat.

Originally Posted by ff7799

quite man, everyone should get married if not for religious purposes, they should be married of moral and health reasons. You ask why health well the less partners the less risk of catching a std.

Morals? You mean that thing which is different for every single person on this planet?
If you're smart and use protection getting a STD is very unlikely.

[Serendipity]

Originally Posted by ff7799

Dude a mining company at your age, and then paying rent, Man let me tell you something, Parents are suppose to help you not exploit you. When I get older I'am going to take 100,000 dollars and give it to my parents cause theirs no way in hell that they ever spent close to that on me. Why you ask, simply so they can't say I owe them. As for your parents I don't care where you live or what race\ethnicity you are, no kid at your age (17) should be working in a mine and then having their parents turn around and say give me money. It seems way to obvious that many parents care more about themselves than their kids. And its obvious in many of the sad cases where they kill their kids, I just hope our generation (that has been beaten and scared by out parents) don't turn around and do the same to our kids. We always must remember to put our kids first no matter what. Your kids are priority.

Oops, I think I might have worded that a little wrong....I don't actually like, work IN the mines.......I do administration..... sorry....

My mother hasn't been too bad as a parent in general. But she has had problems with drinking, which has been very difficult to handle. Nowadays if she gets pissed out of her tree I just walk away and leave her in her drunken stupor...otherwise we have pointless and senseless arguments....I haven't seen or heard from my father for years, and I would like to keep it that way.......which planet he fell from I have no idea....

I just hate it when parents know that you are poor, and that you are having financial difficulties, yet instead of helping out a bit, they say something like "Remember how you owe me $x??" with a little grin...that makes me wild hey..

I hope that when and if I become a parent, I don't suck as much as mine!!

[Serendipity]

Originally Posted by demosthenes

my mother died when i was 5. my stepmother hated my with a passion. verbal abuse was a costant and on a few occasions she actualy beat me. my father just sat there on the couch. for a while i thought i might have forgiven my father but one day and the only day he repeatedly punched me out of frustration when my stepmother was bitching at him. know he is lost to me. for a that matters i have no family. i havent heird from them since i left for bootcamp 6 months ago.

That's terrible, man. I am really sorry that you had to undergo that kind of crap in your life. I cannot believe why anyone would want to do something like that to their own flesh and blood. It emotionally scars you and it is very difficult to forgive people and trust people again once they have hurt you to that extent. I am so sorry...

[Serendipity]

Originally Posted by Yotem

Unless you have kids yourself and/or are over 25 whatever you say about your parents is basically worthless. That basically means I can't judge my parents either, and as such all of the following is my still heavily biased opinion.

Most kids whine about school and their parents, and from my experience it's simply because they're kids and their view of life is lmited. Some parents have problems and are psychotic (for lack of a better word), however they're far form the majority.

I don't get along with my parents, we view things differently and it's caused many problems. However, they try to do what's best for me and are in many ways very liberal. I
was far from a perfect child and that led to most of the problems. I love them however I can't spend more than two weeks with them before things turn ugly.

Why do people think their parents owe them anything? "They're supposed to" means nothing, they're supposed to raise you into whatever they feel is a "good adult" by their standards. If it means hitting you so that you behave and don't act like a spoiled brat then so be it. You can always try calling child services if you think they're abusing you, however I heard foster homes aren't always nice.



No, that would be them trying to not create a spoiled brat.



Morals? You mean that thing which is different for every single person on this planet?
If you're smart and use protection getting a STD is very unlikely.

While it is good to have discipline, parents need to be careful so as not to become so controlling of their children. They also need to ensure that they do not take their disciplining too far by being abusive towards them. Controlling kids too much will just make them rebel, on the other hand, if you can teach them right from wrong and keep them away from things such as drugs, stealing and alcohol etc, and they turn out to be respectable kids, you have done a good job.

[hobobaggins]

Originally Posted by Sexy-no-Jutsu

While it is good to have discipline, parents need to be careful so as not to become so controlling of their children. They also need to ensure that they do not take their disciplining too far by being abusive towards them. Controlling kids too much will just make them rebel, on the other hand, if you can teach them right from wrong and keep them away from things such as drugs, stealing and alcohol etc, and they turn out to be respectable kids, you have done a good job.

a very very delicate balance. most likely it is easier not to have kids.

but if you are a good example they should somewhat follow (unless you are a priest's daughter... ... ... then you tend to rebell)(rofl. sex tapes were made in my area of the rabbi's daughter)(as i understand there were several in my area)

[Serendipity]

It must be a crappy job to raise kids though, I mean, you would raise them according to how you were brought up in a way, like you always say how you would do things when get older etc eg "I would never treat my kids like that, I would do this..." If you get my drift. But you forget about the changing times. This is the problem with today's parents...they can't deal with the modern society!! Like my Mum was worried about me and my bf because the way she was brought up was the "no sex before marriage" way....she inducted me into that...do you think I listened....?? hehehe

I just heard on the news that a few young kids in Perth (one was 9, another was 6 and I think there was a third boy too) set fire to a house causing $65,000 worth of damage....and they are too young to be charged.... I really hate that....I believe that in this situation the adults should be charged, punished for their misbehaving kids (if the kids are that young, where is their parents??) and have to pay for the damages....

I don't know if anyone else has the same opinion as me........

[Biohazard]

I don't get along with my parents good.
My mom and dad both take drugs, they are divorced and i live with my mother at a countryside village, and it is very small, that village.
I have to drive 2 hours by train to reach my school, and then 2 hours back. i leave at 6 AM and come home at 5 PM , then i have to go out with the dog.

I dont have any friends around here in that village, and i cant visit my friends at school because of the dog, i barly have time to sleep, i'm very sleepy all the time and very often sick.
My mother yells at me nearly every day, because i'm not too good in school ( most of the time i'm too sleepy to pay any attention to class ) , she also slaps me around. And it is the same when i visit my dad once in a while. He constantly slaps me at how stupid i am and all...

I'm already 18 years old, but they still slap me around, and since i'm a rather nice guy that never slaps back, i have no chance of telling them to stop, and if i would my mother would just throw me out.

So i'm very depressed all the time, i started spending some money on alcohol since it stoppes me from cutting myself open, yeah i know its sick, and its not like that i'm alcoholic, but seriously , i think its better to drink a few glasses some days than end up half-dead in a hospital because of blood loss.

And yeah, i dont drink so much that i'm really drunk and do stupid stuff, i just drink a bit so i can smile over things that would usually force me nearly to a suicide-try ...

[hobobaggins]

ack! i think you need to move closer to your school!

and... get some new parents, if they are the cause of your depression.

[Serendipity]

Originally Posted by Biohazard

I don't get along with my parents good.
My mom and dad both take drugs, they are divorced and i live with my mother at a countryside village, and it is very small, that village.
I have to drive 2 hours by train to reach my school, and then 2 hours back. i leave at 6 AM and come home at 5 PM , then i have to go out with the dog.

I dont have any friends around here in that village, and i cant visit my friends at school because of the dog, i barly have time to sleep, i'm very sleepy all the time and very often sick.
My mother yells at me nearly every day, because i'm not too good in school ( most of the time i'm too sleepy to pay any attention to class ) , she also slaps me around. And it is the same when i visit my dad once in a while. He constantly slaps me at how stupid i am and all...

I'm already 18 years old, but they still slap me around, and since i'm a rather nice guy that never slaps back, i have no chance of telling them to stop, and if i would my mother would just throw me out.

So i'm very depressed all the time, i started spending some money on alcohol since it stoppes me from cutting myself open, yeah i know its sick, and its not like that i'm alcoholic, but seriously , i think its better to drink a few glasses some days than end up half-dead in a hospital because of blood loss.

And yeah, i dont drink so much that i'm really drunk and do stupid stuff, i just drink a bit so i can smile over things that would usually force me nearly to a suicide-try ...

Dude, I am really sorry that you have to put up with that....I can't believe you are still standing after taking that crap....

Do you have a job? I think you should save up as much money as you can and leave your parents..there is no way you should be living that life.

Also, if you don't mind me saying, if your parents are into drugs, I don't think that alcohol is going to help at all. Your parents probably use drugs for the same reason, and it hasn't got them anywhere...

Do yourself a favour and get the hell out of there man!! Even if you can spend a couple of weeks at a friend's house until you get back on your feet enough!!

You are young and there is so much more you could do with your life, as long as you don't get in the trap of alcohol. My Mum is an alco and I find her so hard to handle. I know that's not really the same as drugs, but in a way it is.......

Defy them and go and make a name for yourself!

[ff7799]

Originally Posted by hobobaggins

ack! i think you need to move closer to your school!

and... get some new parents, if they are the cause of your depression.

dude read what you just wrote, move closer to school and get some new parents come on. I'am sure he would if he could and obviously he can't.

[ff7799]

Originally Posted by Biohazard

I don't get along with my parents good.
My mom and dad both take drugs, they are divorced and i live with my mother at a countryside village, and it is very small, that village.
I have to drive 2 hours by train to reach my school, and then 2 hours back. i leave at 6 AM and come home at 5 PM , then i have to go out with the dog.

I dont have any friends around here in that village, and i cant visit my friends at school because of the dog, i barly have time to sleep, i'm very sleepy all the time and very often sick.
My mother yells at me nearly every day, because i'm not too good in school ( most of the time i'm too sleepy to pay any attention to class ) , she also slaps me around. And it is the same when i visit my dad once in a while. He constantly slaps me at how stupid i am and all...

I'm already 18 years old, but they still slap me around, and since i'm a rather nice guy that never slaps back, i have no chance of telling them to stop, and if i would my mother would just throw me out.

So i'm very depressed all the time, i started spending some money on alcohol since it stoppes me from cutting myself open, yeah i know its sick, and its not like that i'm alcoholic, but seriously , i think its better to drink a few glasses some days than end up half-dead in a hospital because of blood loss.

And yeah, i dont drink so much that i'm really drunk and do stupid stuff, i just drink a bit so i can smile over things that would usually force me nearly to a suicide-try ...

Man I feel your pain, my parents use to be the same infact I occassionally get slapped around at 20 lol however You have to survive and don't cut yourself. I use to cut and now my left arm looks like shit and the scars won't go away and now I realize that I was really hurting myself when I cut and not releasing tension lol, I drink more often now to counter it though.

[Lexander]

Originally Posted by ff7799

Man I feel your pain, my parents use to be the same infact I occassionally get slapped around at 20 lol however You have to survive and don't cut yourself. I use to cut and now my left arm looks like shit and the scars won't go away and now I realize that I was really hurting myself when I cut and not releasing tension lol, I drink more often now to counter it though.

you're 20 ... living at home (this one is still somewhat understandable) ... and still don't deal with parents slappin you around ... yes drinking and cutting yourself is the way to go

[Biohazard]

Originally Posted by hobobaggins

ack! i think you need to move closer to your school!

and... get some new parents, if they are the cause of your depression.

Well if it was that easy, i would of course have done that long ago...

Originally Posted by Sexy-no-Jutsu

Dude, I am really sorry that you have to put up with that....I can't believe you are still standing after taking that crap....

Do you have a job? I think you should save up as much money as you can and leave your parents..there is no way you should be living that life.

Also, if you don't mind me saying, if your parents are into drugs, I don't think that alcohol is going to help at all. Your parents probably use drugs for the same reason, and it hasn't got them anywhere...

Do yourself a favour and get the hell out of there man!! Even if you can spend a couple of weeks at a friend's house until you get back on your feet enough!!

You are young and there is so much more you could do with your life, as long as you don't get in the trap of alcohol. My Mum is an alco and I find her so hard to handle. I know that's not really the same as drugs, but in a way it is.......

Defy them and go and make a name for yourself!

I left school with a middle - grade education, i'm now going to anther school, that schools IT-Assistents. Since it's no schooling at a company, i dont get any money for it.... so no money for me...

I'm really not someone who drink's often, besides, i dont have the money to be drinking always... it's just that it helps me to get my mind off things that are depressing me, wich is helpful when i feel like jumping of the nearest skyscraper...

As for saving up money ... i only get my pocket money, it's sad at the age of 18, but i dont have any other choice. I wouldn't have the money to afford an own home, even not with the support of the country i'm living in ( germany ), i would barely get the amouth for the rent, but not enough to supply myself with food and stuff... and i would have to pay it back eventually, wich could break my neck later on.

Because of the dog, and the country side, i can't take a part time job aswell, and if i would i would prolly have a hard time keepin up with my studies...

As for a friend's house: I have barely any friends around me, i used to have friends, but i lost nearlly all contact when my mom moved to this country side with me, the friends that remain are not people i would call "true friends" , and they wouldn't let me sleep over at their home...

And it will prolly take many years until i can move out, after my schooling is done ( aprox. 1½ years ) the german military will want me, i dont like military so i'm planning on canceling it, but i have to do social stuff for nearly a year then ... so its another year added up... i dont see any good posibility how i can get out of here ... and i think about it lots... but thanks alot for your tips ^^

I think the things keeping me alive are people i know over the inet, some of them are really great friends, that might actually care about me, and anime too... whenever i'm watching anime i can just shut off everything else for that duration ... and get something to think about where i cannot hurt myself with thoughts ... might be another reason why i'm very into anime ^^

[ff7799]

Originally Posted by Biohazard

Well if it was that easy, i would of course have done that long ago...



I left school with a middle - grade education, i'm now going to anther school, that schools IT-Assistents. Since it's no schooling at a company, i dont get any money for it.... so no money for me...

I'm really not someone who drink's often, besides, i dont have the money to be drinking always... it's just that it helps me to get my mind off things that are depressing me, wich is helpful when i feel like jumping of the nearest skyscraper...

As for saving up money ... i only get my pocket money, it's sad at the age of 18, but i dont have any other choice. I wouldn't have the money to afford an own home, even not with the support of the country i'm living in ( germany ), i would barely get the amouth for the rent, but not enough to supply myself with food and stuff... and i would have to pay it back eventually, wich could break my neck later on.

Because of the dog, and the country side, i can't take a part time job aswell, and if i would i would prolly have a hard time keepin up with my studies...

As for a friend's house: I have barely any friends around me, i used to have friends, but i lost nearlly all contact when my mom moved to this country side with me, the friends that remain are not people i would call "true friends" , and they wouldn't let me sleep over at their home...

And it will prolly take many years until i can move out, after my schooling is done ( aprox. 1½ years ) the german military will want me, i dont like military so i'm planning on canceling it, but i have to do social stuff for nearly a year then ... so its another year added up... i dont see any good posibility how i can get out of here ... and i think about it lots... but thanks alot for your tips ^^

I think the things keeping me alive are people i know over the inet, some of them are really great friends, that might actually care about me, and anime too... whenever i'm watching anime i can just shut off everything else for that duration ... and get something to think about where i cannot hurt myself with thoughts ... might be another reason why i'm very into anime ^^

The only thing keeping me alive is hope. I don't have too many friends and all I can do is hope. I can hope that eventually I can save up enough money and move to a out of state college and live their permanently, probably go for a masters while working on the side and making little real estate investments when I can. Afterwards maybe find a nice girl and settle down in a good job with money in the bank a buetiful woman with a good personality at my side and hopefully on speaking terms with my parents whom I will probably distance myself from.

[Serendipity]

Taking your mind off things by turning your attention to something or someone else always helps. Figure out the one thing that you are living for, if you know what I mean, the one thing that would keep you here....when I was in my depression I thought of my brother and decided I would stick around for him. That helps when you are really close to the edge.

[ff7799]

Originally Posted by Sexy-no-Jutsu

Taking your mind off things by turning your attention to something or someone else always helps. Figure out the one thing that you are living for, if you know what I mean, the one thing that would keep you here....when I was in my depression I thought of my brother and decided I would stick around for him. That helps when you are really close to the edge.

Why are their so many depressed teenagers lol. Yah know whats interesting, When I started college my history proffessor made a joke regarding suicide, he said that young cacausian americans are the group of individuals most likely to commit suicide and then he said "to all my cacausian students sitting in this class please don't kill yourselves we need your tuition money", It was a very funny moment cause he had sounded so sincere when he began speaking. Anyway its just amazing, parents really don't know what it means to be a parent.

[TheLaughingMan]

Wow, after hearing some of this, it makes me feel grateful.

Here is my story/relationship with my parents (If anyone cares).

My parents are really extremist christians, but when are they aren't acting like religious fanatics, they are yelling at each other and fighting with anything that moves. My dad is prone to get very angry, while my mom is more the controling mind games type. It really gets to me, after years of dealing with it. It doesn't help that there are issues with mental illness too.

I think the main problem is, my dad used to be a real jerk, AND he had a nervous breakdown making life a living hell. No one wants to forget that, so they fight all the time.

[Serendipity]

Originally Posted by TheLaughingMan

Wow, after hearing some of this, it makes me feel grateful.

Here is my story/relationship with my parents (If anyone cares).

My parents are really extremist christians, but when are they aren't acting like religious fanatics, they are yelling at each other and fighting with anything that moves. My dad is prone to get very angry, while my mom is more the controling mind games type. It really gets to me, after years of dealing with it. It doesn't help that there are issues with mental illness too.

I think the main problem is, my dad used to be a real jerk, AND he had a nervous breakdown making life a living hell. No one wants to forget that, so they fight all the time.

I don't think that parents realise how much damage they are doing to their family when they argue, have drug and alcohol problems, and when they decide to split up........ it just ruins the whole family............it really affects how the family operates....my dad left my Mum when I was five, I was there when he handed her the keys to the house and the car, and it was on her birthday, of all days.....

The worst part about a broken family of course is the fact that the kids are shuffled from one parent to the other for holidays and stuff. That can make things really difficult.....

This is one of the main reasons that kids become depressed. I have to say though, in my case, my parents splitting up didn't actually affect me that much, it was after that, with custody problems and stuff like that, which really started to screw me up....I had to basically choose between my mother or my father.....My Mum said that if I wanted to live with my father that she wouldn't want much to do with me.... and my father was basically the same.....I was 11 or 12 when I had to make that decision...one of the worst decisions I have ever had to make...haven't heard from my dad since. Which is probably a good thing, he was a bit of a nasty bloke anyways...

By posting this I am not whinging or feeling sorry for myself, but I am just giving a bit of an insight into the primary reason for depression in young people....naturally there are plenty of other reasons why it is caused, but this is a pretty big one....

Sorry for the rather long post guys....

[Elhaym Van Houten]

Just a piece of my mind.I don't even dare to say that my parents sucks although they always bla...bla...bla to me.I think,they are doing their job as parents and they don't want us to be a failure.For your information,I always respect my parents and I respect others too,no matter if they are old or young,friends or not. The only one that I don't respect is bad people.For example,criminal,raper and everything that have connection with it. Oh,back on track.I think there is only one conclusion for me,that is parents are doing their best to mold us into a fine figure.

[Aoie_Emesai]

Originally Posted by I'MnotFATi'mBIGboned

Well... my parents do suck but i love them

I feel the same. Parents say one thing bu they do always love you, no matter how much they say they resent you (well in most case).