2008-11-07, 03:55 | Link #941 |
Ehh I love suits?
Join Date: Oct 2008
|
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0449778/
It just happens that all J-horror end up to be comedies rather than serious thrillers. This movie is prime example. I could maybe upload some of the scenes to Youtube or something. Simply, the store is haunted and whoever shops there, gets killed by a ghost (of different sort each time). |
2008-11-09, 23:03 | Link #944 | |
Honyaku no Hime
Fansubber
Join Date: May 2008
Location: In the eastern capital of the islands of the rising suns...
|
Quote:
But Ledgem's right, curious to see in what aspect it didn't work out. (the movie, your chemstry, plans fell apart? etc)
__________________
|
|
2008-11-09, 23:49 | Link #945 |
World's Greatest
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: San Francisco
Age: 36
|
We met today and she basically got "cold feet". We just hung around SF State, talked for a while. Didn't go to the island. The past two days have actually been kind of disappointing. She's apprehensive about being in a relationship because she has this mentality of knowing that it will end one day. She used to have a boyfriend in China that mistreated her as well. And this was during a time when her parents didn't want her to be in a relationship and just study all the time. She attended a school where she studied ten hours a day and six days a week. After her last relationship I suppose that's when she got in it in her head that being within a relationship is not worth the time or something.
I didn't mind her decision to remain friends since this was all kind of fast for both of us, but I just wanted to know if that's what she really wants and that would make her happy...and is she doing what she thought was the right thing. And when we hung out today she finally said that she just wants to be friends and thinks that says she'd be satisfied with just not being in any relationships until she was like 24 or something. She really is trying to plan out her whole life...I just don't get it...and I get the feeling she's doing something that she really doesn't want to do based on some experience she's had. We talked at the mall in depth and addressed a lot of the issues and afterwards we just went our separate ways. No hug, nothing. She said she wanted to be "alone" for a while. It's quite unfortunate, because I feel like I should help her, but I've said everything I can and she just seems to have this mindset. I don't know what's going to happen next, but I feel like I should just move on as fast as possible.
__________________
|
2008-11-10, 00:01 | Link #946 | |
Honyaku no Hime
Fansubber
Join Date: May 2008
Location: In the eastern capital of the islands of the rising suns...
|
Quote:
Sorry but her prevous actions of contacting you in various ways contradict her current feelings, so yeah perhaps cold feet or reality hit her hard with a cold bucket of water as she realised that her behaviour up til now has got you interested in seeing if there is something good here between the two of you. Sorry she tuned out though, i suspect it's somewhat annoying or frustrating in an emotional sense. But if she thinks she needs to have some 'me' time, then you can only repsect her wishes. Feel free to be her friend, but do remind her from time to time that if a chance ever presents itself for something more between the two of you, you'll take it. (Else you'll be stuck in that 'he's just a friend' category) You don't have to actually follow with your words, but we girls are kinda dumb at times when we have male friends who we get comfy with and automatically shut you out from 'potential bf' category. There's no harm in reminding us that you'd like to be more than friends once in a while, especially since you guys already met to "test the waters", let's say. But yeah *hug* - hope you're not too despondant anyways, you seem to have a charming aspect to you, I doubt you're someone who'll stay single for too long if you're willing to try.
__________________
|
|
2008-11-10, 00:10 | Link #947 | |
World's Greatest
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: San Francisco
Age: 36
|
Quote:
I now have this subtle urge to contact the girl I unintentionally made out with on Halloween. I think that's my desperate side speaking out though because of tonight's recent events.
__________________
|
|
2008-11-10, 01:18 | Link #948 |
Honyaku no Hime
Fansubber
Join Date: May 2008
Location: In the eastern capital of the islands of the rising suns...
|
If someone else comes along, then sure go ahead with that. No need to "wait" for her at all, i was just saying, if there's a time when she opens up to you or feels more comfy with you again, remind her of how you really feel before she freaks out again all of a sudden.
Her mentality isn't healthy, but heh speaking out of experience, if we don't get our act together and give ourselves a chance, life will take the reigns and do it for us by giving us no choice. She thinks '24', but I'm guessing she won't be able to hold her resolve for long, maybe 2 years or so, but if someone in the future wants to fight for her and she falls for them, she'll be fighting only herself at that point. We have a tendency to change our minds once our hearts are captured or sometimes with the right person, we decide to finally take that 'risk' even if we feel that it'll fall apart at the end, emotions can be fickle things. As for the halloween one, if you contact her, what will you say? For what reason do you even wanna contact her? :\ (also if you forgot, just read your previous post on your decision to leave things be, lol) Let a few days pass, see how you feel then before doing anything rash.
__________________
|
2008-11-10, 01:56 | Link #949 | |
World's Greatest
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: San Francisco
Age: 36
|
Quote:
This also may sound mean, but I really can't stand it when people get cold feet and change their minds at the very last moment. And that's just about anything in life. It's by far my number one pet peeve.
__________________
|
|
2008-11-10, 03:13 | Link #950 | |
Honyaku no Hime
Fansubber
Join Date: May 2008
Location: In the eastern capital of the islands of the rising suns...
|
Quote:
As i said, it must be frustrating for ya, so I can understand you feeling a lil despondant, but remember that you're dealing with matters of the heart here. Sadly, everything isn't so straightforward as we'd like them to be somedays
__________________
|
|
2008-11-10, 03:39 | Link #951 | |
World's Greatest
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: San Francisco
Age: 36
|
Quote:
Yes I am a little bitter because I went through A LOT of trouble the past two days to make Sunday special...and things just change in an instant. I'll get over it, but this experience has definitely taught me something about some females. I just can't see myself treating another human being like that. Honestly I think it's a little rude...and I personally feel a little humiliated. Perhaps I should be more mad at myself for overlooking this scenario. I just can't wait for several days to pass so I'll feel better about all of this.
__________________
|
|
2008-11-10, 23:39 | Link #952 | |
Love Yourself
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Northeast USA
Age: 38
|
Quote:
First, your disappointment is understandable. I'm an idealist and a daydreamer, which is one deadly combination: on top of feeling disappointed, I'd feel silly/foolish for having thought ahead to an ideal, romantic scenario (I'd probably already be calculating marriage or which house to buy and how many children to have - until reality arrives, nothing is impossible unless you set it to be so). I don't know if your disappointment and resentment stems from the same reasons as mine would, but if so, it isn't fully fair to blame it on her. The second remark I wanted to make deals with my own experiences with Chinese-American culture, particularly when it's close to the full-Chinese culture. My girlfriend is Chinese American, and while her father is very Americanized her mother came over to America as a teenager or so. She was raised with the belief that she would not even begin to date anyone until she had finished with school and was working. Since she aspired to be a doctor, there was a chance that she wouldn't begin dating until she was 32. In my opinion that's setting yourself up for disaster or being single for the rest of your life. The girl you're dealing with reminded me of that. (Clearly, since she's my girlfriend and has been for what's coming on three years, that notion didn't stick very well ) Despite the fact that my girlfriend initially broke with her parents' wishes, parental dealings and control are a bit alien to me. I come from a Jewish background. We're very open and frank with each other. We don't share every little secret, but there's open communication and plenty of disagreement. For my girlfriend, things are very different. Her worst fears never happened to us, but they played out for a friend of hers (also Chinese American). Her friend started dating in college around the age of 19 or 20, I believe. Her parents probably had given her the same lectures about how she was not allowed to date until she was done with school. Her parents didn't live anywhere near where their daughter was attending school, but apparently when they found out she was dating they flew out, unannounced, had a sit-down with their daughter and her boyfriend, and broke them up. That must be one of the worst things to go through. (The daughter simply began to secretely date behind their back.) So it sounds like the girl you're dealing with has all of that, on top of a potentially abusive relationship in her past. While it may turn out that I'm being a devil's advocate here, I'd say that it might be worth it to cut the girl some slack and let her think things through. I don't know how it is from the female side, but I'm sure it's pretty complicated. She clearly wanted to get with you (unless she broke up with her ex-boyfriend recently, in which case you might have been a rebound), but there are a lot of factors holding her back. Give it some time, and try not to take it too personally. Keep your standards high, but your expectations low. Above all, remember that this doesn't reflect on you. You're a great guy and any girl would be damn lucky to be in your arms.
__________________
|
|
2008-11-11, 00:36 | Link #953 | |
World's Greatest
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: San Francisco
Age: 36
|
Quote:
I don't think I should be responsible for people's idealistic and daydreaming kind of persona...especially if they come on to me first. If you have your mind set on something then...F-ing do it. Geez. As you can tell I'm still a little angry. I thought I wasn't before, but two days later I'm really starting to feel the effects. Now that I think of it I believe I'm going to break off all communication from this person. Honestly I think that's the only remedy that will make me feel better faster. Besides, I think she's done talking to me anyways...even though I did nothing wrong. Apparently being an adult about all of this isn't in her agenda. So out goes the AIM screen name, phone number, and maybe Facebook. If she wants to contact me I won't show any malice, but...yeah I'm pretty agitated inside. Oh well, plenty of fish left in the sea.
__________________
|
|
2008-11-11, 00:55 | Link #954 | ||||
Love Yourself
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Northeast USA
Age: 38
|
Quote:
Quote:
Based off of the text that you've written, I didn't see it as that she was blaming you. Or even if she was, isn't that the stereotype - that the male is usually the one to move faster than the female? I wasn't there to hear it and the tone she said it in, though. You could be right, but... give the benefit of the doubt and all that. Quote:
Quote:
Either way, if you're angry with her then whether either of you contact the other, the likelihood of anything favorable happening are pretty low. Not that it matters - you're not in this to hook up with just anyone, you want a good match. As an observer who wasn't there, it just seems to me that you're working yourself up over this idea that she was blaming you for something when in reality there's nothing to really be upset about. I could very easily be wrong, but I'd think that your anger is truly derived from your feeling spurned and disappointed over the way it played out, and you're shifting that anger into blaming her for the way things turned out and her unjustified coldness and perceived blame against you. Whether I'm right or wrong, you're correct in saying that there are other fish in the sea. Just... don't take that attitude too often. As of now you have no obligations or committment to this girl, so it doesn't matter. I've seen a lot of people take that attitude when a problem develops in their relationship, and it's a fast way to break something apart. As I said, this is a learning experience - less so about the girl, and more so about your own feelings and reactions.
__________________
|
||||
2008-11-11, 03:02 | Link #955 |
World's Greatest
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: San Francisco
Age: 36
|
Well I've calmed down a little bit since I last posted. Thought about things a little more and tried to relax. I'm not going to class tomorrow. This situation and some other issues in my life have given me all I can handle. I think I need a break to try and regain my concentration. So no Still Life painting on Tuesday.
After I deleted her phone number and AIM screen name I came across something I didn't expect...guilt. I experienced guilt for being angry and holding a grudge against this girl who most likely just doesn't know how to handle these strong feelings. I remember her saying "it's my fault" and I had to reassure her that it wasn't. Then I started to think it really was her fault. My emotions have been in flux...and I don't like not being able to control my emotions like that. It's unsettling. I'm still as direct a person as I was, but...I will cut this person some slack. She's young and had some problems in her past. I guess I maybe was disappointed with the outcome...especially after all of those conversations we had over the phone for hours and hours. But the honest truth is that I barely knew this girl and the initial spark may have just died out by Sunday evening when we finally met up. I put her AIM screen name and phone number back where they were. If she doesn't want to talk to me that's fine. I'm going to talk to her in a week and see where we stand...even if it's as friends which is fine. I would be disappointed if she didn't want to ever talk again and shuts me out of her life entirely, but...if that's her choice then there's nothing I can do.
__________________
|
2008-11-11, 04:20 | Link #956 | ||
カカシ
|
Quote:
Quote:
|
||
2008-11-11, 16:27 | Link #959 | |
;;'
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: California
|
Quote:
Hope I helped you out. |
|
2008-11-11, 17:04 | Link #960 | |
World's Greatest
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: San Francisco
Age: 36
|
Quote:
__________________
|
|
Tags |
advice, break-ups, dating, dating after divorce, divorce, happiness, love, pairings, single dad, single mom |
|
|