Dealing with being older?

[Guernsey]

I am currently in my thirties but I am still confused as to what my life is going to be like. How do you real with being older? And what wisdom that you have that are getting older?

[Haak]

Don't think about it.

That's my motto. XP

[Kafriel]

Let's see, I got another job, just as steady as my previous ones (which means rock solid), BUT I got no savings. I lost my father last year, so a lot of the household expenses (heating included) fall on my shoulders now. Less vacation planning, more preserving my house planning, all the while aiming to save some money for a future marriage (preferably when I'm 40, at which point my gf will be 32).

Other than that, I got a good few friends and I'm well-versed in my field of expertise, leaving me enough time to invest in hobbies and social activities. It's a pretty good life, just don't think about what might happen in the future.

[Xefi]

lots and lots of responsibilities as i grew older. back when i was around 20-25 years old, i didn't have
this much responsibilities. when i first bought my house at around age 31 and cars, all of sudden, i'm in a world of bills.

i like to just take care of bills and pay them off every months. autopay some like water, gas, mortgage, internet & etc...
just trying to stay healthy and eat plenty vegetables. i try to exercise and walking whenever i feel like it. waking up in the morning at 6:40am every days and still freaking tire. coffee helps quite a lot in staying awake and active during work. every now and then, i make wallpapers as my hobby and enjoy listening to videogames / trance music.

i played MMO game like Blade and Soul to pass my time and get my head out of things i don't need to worry too much. i have a habit of overthinking every now and then when i'm stress out and depress. i've to relieve my stress somehow overtime.

cutting grasses and picking weeds in the front and backyard. yeah, these kind of stuffs just comes with owning a house + repairing patio and any leakage due to a lot of raining in California lately. i don't usually deal with these kind of things, so they're new experience to me and also give me a lot of stress too. lol.

all i wanted was to work 8 hrs. and go home play my game or make wallpapers. but nope, all these shet and responsibilities...man. killing me slowly.

but i'm just hanging in there. mostly trying to do my fave hobbies and games to get me out of stress and overthinking. picking weeds from the yards is good work out.

[Magin]

To throw in my $.02... look at things this way: we've advanced far enough in society that being in your 30's can be just the first 1/3 of your life. You might still have another 60 or so years to go. Some people have figured out what they want to do.... others, not so much.

You see, popular media promotes a certain "ideal": men and women are married and have 2.5 kids by the time they're in their late 20's/early thirties, you own a house and are set to raise the next generation. This... is a fantasy, especially with the current generation (and I also blame Disney for part of it). The actual reality is, 30 is still pretty damned young with how long people are living. Maybe you've discovered something you're passionate about and are pursuing it. Maybe you decide you want to go back to college and get another degree. Or perhaps you're working a dead-end job and don't know how to get out of it.

My point is, in your 30's, 40's, hell, even 50's, there are TONS of options in this world. You just won't hear about it because they don't bring in the ratings that the media needs to survive. So you're in your 30's and have no clue wtf you want to do with your life. First, for your survival, lay low for a year or two and build up some savings. Second, find something you're passionate about. This might not pay the bills, but it keeps your spirit alive in hellish times. At this point, you should have money and a passion. Pursue it- that's how you keep living life.

And another thing... you get what you pay for. And no matter what happens in this world, or in your life, there's always another option. The world turns, the sun rises and sets, and your life continues on. Make the best of it every day, if you can.

[dragon1412]

a lot of things can change in 10 years time, and i don't think you need to force it, i'm fairly younger than you, but i think the process is the same for anyone, as time goes by, you gain more insight about yourself, and you should be more honest to yourself, adult or child is rather subjective. The world is changing fast enough, and adapt to it will change you somewhat, so i don't think you need to worry about confusion about life. For now, just managed to adapt to it is enough, it not like it going to change anything even if you go to 50 or 60, if you have a hobby, then 20 years later you would still have one. No need to force yourself on maturity or something that you can't comprehend, for now, just find a hobby or a job you like and stick with it. Trust me, having something you wanted to do keep you happy a lot more than you think. I was making a mistake in my major choice and is now paying dearly for it. So follow your heart when you can, especially when you are confused

And 30 is pretty young, things change fast, let's say, 20 years ago life span was still at 60-70 on most countries, nowadays it is 80 and 90. And that is not mentioning the anti-aging drugs, 10 years ago people still dismiss longevity is a dream that is impossible, 5 years ago people start on research, and nowadays the health organizations actually considering adding aging as a disease and trying to cure it. With our speed of technology advancements, who knows, the 1st human who can live out eternity is already among us.

[Dalirilda]

Sometimes I'm sad about it, but then I realize no one will be young forever and I try to concentrate on things I like, people I love, my hobbies, my work
I don't feel like I'm an adult (I'm 25), however, it's time haha. I truly believe it's important to do what you really like, be kind and help others if you have a possibility

[Top Sergeant]

Originally Posted by Guernsey

I am currently in my thirties but I am still confused as to what my life is going to be like. How do you real with being older? And what wisdom that you have that are getting older?

Make sure that you still do things that you enjoy, and also take time to lift your head up and look around, even on a busy day: this world is amazingly beautiful. We just forget to notice it.

As for the growing older / mortality issue, maybe I just came to terms with it, that's part of it. Also I still have fun: 20+ years ago I married a woman who is also an avid gamer like me, and enjoys anime. Now I'm 54 and she's 48, we still go to gaming conventions and group up in MMOs.

[SilkyLM]

Age and wisdom are not related to each other I think

[Guernsey]

I know this is late guys but thanks for the comfort and advice.

[Yu Ominae]

Same here when I had to move back from Canada to the Philippines (Canadian BTW, naturalized), I had to deal with my buddies/classmates who either graduated with good jobs/are married/are going to get married.

I don't usually talk to them first hand unless they make contact with me. Even then, I avoid mentioning that I don't have a paying job (I have a volunteering job with a NGO here to avoid gaps in resume).

I don't think about it that much, but it bothers me from time to time when I can't find a job or I get a job rejection. This really scares me that I may get older with only a decent job in Manila that I plan to relocate to get away and start over.

[TinyRedLeaf]

One thing is for certain, once you're past 40, if you've not been careful with your health, you're going to start feeling it. With a vengeance.

And that, for me, means paying closer attention to my calorie intake, and maintaining the discipline of regular physical exercise to stay trim. I've now got to deal with high cholesterol (the good news is that my ratio of HDL vs LDL is well above the recommended level, but my overall cholesterol level must still be reduced) and pre-hypertension — two factors that could lead to stroke or heart attack if I'm not lucky. Other than that, though, I'm in pretty good health. For now.

The second thing that's important is that, by 40+, you must have definitive financial plans for your old age. The sooner the better, in fact. Don't wait till you're 40 to start planning. In my case, I've been lucky, and I'm well on track to a reasonably comfortable retirement, even if I were to stop work suddenly today (barring any catastrophic illness or debilitating accident; that's what insurance is meant to cover). Financial well-being is just as important as physical well-being, so that's one load off my mind as I make a more concerted effort to keep fit.

And the third important thing to watch out for is mental and social well-being. You must make the effort to stay engaged with your community and your friends. Here again, I've been very lucky. I'm blessed with good friends from childhood who still keep in touch, despite their work and family commitments. I'm devoted to my work, and I believe the professionalism I bring to my role earns me the goodwill of my colleagues, and contributes to a genial working relationship, even if the corporate culture itself isn't always ideal, or sometimes even toxic.

It is my mid-term goal to finally leave my current career and embark on a third career, likely in the social sector. As someone who's been lucky in life, I feel an increasing need to give back in some way. In a way, that would be my approach to leaving a legacy I can be proud of. And by legacy, I don't mean anything grandiose — it would simply be the satisfaction of knowing, for certain, that I will leave the world a better place than I found it.

Health, finances and purpose. When you have all three, growing older is not something to be afraid of. It'll just be another thing to savour.

[Psyco Diver]

The older I get the more I realize I'm not nearly as smart as I thought I was lol

I'm 35 now, married with 2 kids, responsibility kinda snuck up on me. Before I knew it I am responsible with the mortgage, car loans, ect ect. Its kinda funny, we just has a hurricane pass, I told my boss I'm going home early, he wasn't happy. I used to be the young guy that would come in during the storms, I didn't care. Now though I have a mortgage, car loans, kids, ect; me getting hurt or killed weighs allot more on me now. I get why people used to call out during storms.

My life isn't my own anymore, it belongs to my wife and my kids now so I can be so reckless with it

[Eisdrache]

Originally Posted by Yu Ominae

Same here when I had to move back from Canada to the Philippines (Canadian BTW, naturalized), I had to deal with my buddies/classmates who either graduated with good jobs/are married/are going to get married.

I don't usually talk to them first hand unless they make contact with me. Even then, I avoid mentioning that I don't have a paying job (I have a volunteering job with a NGO here to avoid gaps in resume).

I don't think about it that much, but it bothers me from time to time when I can't find a job or I get a job rejection. This really scares me that I may get older with only a decent job in Manila that I plan to relocate to get away and start over.

Different place but other than that it's literally me. Keep your head high mate, you'll get there somehow.

[dragon1412]

somewhat me as well, i try to get a job after college but thing didn't turn out so well, only managed to keep the contract for a years and aimless for around more than 2 years after that, going on a Master now to avoid too big of a gap in the resume, really tired of this

[Mad Pierrot]

I guess it's complicated making a social life when you are an adult. Everybody has different timetables so it's hard to reunite. Still, it's important to deal with stress. Also, it's important to keep a healthy life by taking a diet and or gym to avoid dealing with obesity. I tend to do three time of gym per week but mostly functional exercises

[SeijiSensei]

Originally Posted by TinyRedLeaf

The second thing that's important is that, by 40+, you must have definitive financial plans for your old age. The sooner the better, in fact.

^^This.

My 28-yo daughter is already worried she didn't start saving for retirement soon enough.

[Yu Ominae]

Originally Posted by Eisdrache

Different place but other than that it's literally me. Keep your head high mate, you'll get there somehow.

It's both sad and fucking bad that one of the things I can do to get out of being jobless/being in a non-paying job that can't help sustain you is to take a Master's and I'm seriously contemplating it after some indecision since I don't know if my mom's willing to not get emotional over this shit.

I'm waiting on a non-STEM internship position in Japan. Unless there's also the government jobs in Canada (Mostly intelligence analyst work).

[dragon1412]

Nowadays though, i feel like getting a job is more depending on your connections, or how eloquent you are rather than what you earn or learn, really tired of all of this new soft skills and communication capability in job search recently

[-G1-]

I'm scared of turning 30. My future seems so uncertain now that I don't even know if I will manage to keep myself alive for another year. In any case, it seems that nothing turned out as I expected to be.