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Old 2020-09-14, 16:54   Link #1
SirCopert
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Join Date: Dec 2019
I Would Die to Have Your First Time

Alternative names: Shinu Hodo Kimi no Shojo ga;
死ぬほど君の処女が欲しい



Spoiler for Plot:
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Old 2020-09-15, 09:06   Link #2
dark44
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Didnt get it from plot you mentioned did his wife cheat with many guys ? or she used to have many lovers and he wanted to go back in time to be her frist?

looks to me like cuck MC
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Old 2020-09-15, 09:36   Link #3
wuhugm
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^Wife slept around in the past

MC got isekai-ed, and back in the past

When they are still highschoolers and the wife was still a virgin

She's already hanging out with this fuckboy tho

Dunno whether MC will succeed or it's a repeat of Ore ga Doutei wo Sutetara Shinu Ken ni Tsuite that stupid manga
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Old 2020-09-16, 17:25   Link #4
tsunade666
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I had read the 7 translated chapters in 1 go and its a nice and funny story. The MC should start changing himself too. Change for the better if he really wants her. Funny face though. Mik is cute during her high school days.
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Old 2020-12-06, 21:18   Link #5
BWTraveller
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Just stumbled on this myself. I've only read a few chapters so far. To make the description just a little clearer, the main character is a fat loser type who'd never been able to even be friends with girls much less actually date anyone, until he met a woman at work, fell in love and got married. His wife's friend told him about how she was pretty wild in high school and college and had lots of boyfriends back then. He finds himself very insecure, partly because when they make love it feels like she's just happily giving him pleasure but he doesn't feel like he's able to please him. He frequently even apologizes that he's not better at it, though she insists the year they'd been married has been the happiest year of her life. Despite how devoted she is to him, he simply can't shake these feelings of inferiority and thoughts of the men that'd seen sides of her that he's never been able to see; at this time he stumbles in front of a truck and finds himself back in the past, where he meets her right before some jerk was going to take her someplace and pressure her into giving him her virginity (he even boasts about it while telling the guy to buzz off). He manages to help her there, but there's a lot of problems to come.

The comment section is remarkably polarized. It seems like a lot of people, especially people who hate the series but also some who like it, see it as a guy going back in time to "get some mint condition *****", which from as far as I've read seems a very crude and inaccurate description of what he wants. To be more accurate, he wants to be her first, to find a way to make her love him then and thus become her first and only. If he just wanted to have her first he could be pushy like the bastard he saved her from, but instead he wants her to love him and want him the way he loves and wants her. True, he does want her virginity so bad he could die, but he also wants her to want to be his first the same way. Really, if you take a chance and don't automatically push this down to the most base definition, this could be a very interesting story. I'm not entirely sure whether I'll continue for now though; there's a lot of twists and turns and I honestly prefer to wait until I know there'll be a happy ending before I dive too deep into "romance" stories with this much uncertainty.

I've only read the first three chapters and skimmed the most recent, so I'm not entirely sure how the later parts go. Seems currently some stalker is going after the girl, and the hero's knowledge based on multiple jumps back and forth between the past and the future has led to a lot of suspicion from Mika and her friend. He himself suspects it might be someone with the same ability, since the stalker gave her a bag with a note saying "I want your virginity so much I could die". He thinks he has a way to catch the stalker, but Mika's friend takes her away; however, Mika comes back and decides to give him a chance, because she doesn't want to go on not knowing if it really was him or not.
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Old 2021-01-27, 13:42   Link #6
BWTraveller
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I've finally read all of it, and I'll admit it's a hard read, but the hero does grow bit by bit. Each trip forward and backward, leading ultimately to a big change in the most recent trip as he finally realizes that his feelings toward her, as they are, cannot bring her happiness.
Spoiler for recent content:
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Old 2021-02-18, 13:48   Link #7
BWTraveller
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The developments keep coming, but it looks like now Nishimori is finally realizing something that he's apparently taught the others: that he isn't alone. In various paths people have told Nishimori that he helped them to realize that they shouldn't and don't have to handle their problems alone, but he's always continued to see himself as a solo player trying to make a desirable future occur.
Spoiler:
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Old 2021-02-24, 16:36   Link #8
BWTraveller
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For starters, I somehow didn't notice that there was no mention of where this's being published. It's coming out on Magazine pocket. All chapters are available in Japanese at this site. New chapters every Wednesday morning (at least, morning in America). First few chapters and recent chapters (excluding the current week's) are free. Old chapters cost 40 points, new ones 60 (points can be obtained through quick purchase or monthly subscription).

This week, Tooru kind of demonstrated that he still has some growing to do. It looked like he was starting to realize the value of relying on his now-sizable circle of friends, but he's kind of demonstrated that he still doesn't entirely trust them, or at least doesn't trust them to truly trust him.
Spoiler:
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Old 2021-03-03, 13:14   Link #9
BWTraveller
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Spoiler:


I kind of get the feeling this is going to be the last arc; I rather hope it will, as it seems like a great way to end things with one final climactic confrontation against a monster who's been scheming since well before the story started.
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Old 2021-03-10, 15:37   Link #10
BWTraveller
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Spoiler for chapter 36:


The previous jump helped to make it clear to Nishimori that he needed to change his way of thinking and turn from a jealous desire to have all of her and prevent anyone else from getting too close to focus instead on finding a way to make her happy, regardless of who she's with. Nishimori was driven to confront the fact that some aspects of his feelings toward Mika are very similar to the culprit's. The last few chapters however seem to have done a lot to demonstrate how he's different. The desire, on its simplest level, is similar. However, Nishimori is determined to see her happy, and is unwilling to hurt her or deceive her in order to achieve his goals, wanting her to be happy and to act of her own will, and values anyone and everyone around them. The culprit on the other hand only cares about getting her, and has absolutely no problem using violence, manipulation, deceit, anything to force her into his arms, and if others have to die for his goal to be achieved this means no more to him than having to flush a toilet.

Looks like we're going to have another jump forward next week; interesting to see how the next future will be. One thing I'm hoping is that things aren't too close to the culprit's goals. Sometimes it seems like Mika is portrayed as a rather weak person. Her friends talk about her having fought hard to protect them in the past, but the futures we've seen don't really portray a very strong character. She gets raped and forced to be her rapist's girlfriend, she tries to harm herself in a mental breakdown when she suspects her friend and husband were having an affair, she manages to get tricked into blaming Nishimori on a sexual assault and marrying the man who really assaulted her. In the futures where we see her, she tends to have been somewhat reactive; in some big ways her future was dictated by others. Since backstory suggests real strength, I'd really like it if we get a little more indication of this in her future, or that we eventually go down a path where she becomes a little more proactive in seizing the future for herself. Now it does make sense that she would be less than the strongest of people after everything that's happened to her. Most futures either involve her going through serious traumatic assaults or being stalked for years without ever being able to catch or stop the stalker. Severe trauma and constant failure to escape a bad situation will wear down anyone's capacity to fight. I just think I'd like to see a little more fight in her at some point.
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Old 2021-03-16, 06:49   Link #11
dark44
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It is waste of time he should have left her and find a nice girl i dont get this bullshit about all i care is to make her happy even if she ended up with another guy

i agree he cant force his feelings on others but also he need to find his own happines
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Old 2021-03-16, 10:52   Link #12
BWTraveller
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dark44 View Post
It is waste of time he should have left her and find a nice girl i dont get this bullshit about all i care is to make her happy even if she ended up with another guy

i agree he cant force his feelings on others but also he need to find his own happines
He fell in love with her, what can you expect? It's not so easy to fall out of love, especially if you fall deeply enough in love that you can commit to share your entire life with her. He's been realizing that his beloved's past was filled with painful memories (thus her dodging whenever he asked about it in the original timeline). It's only natural he'd want to change this.
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Old 2021-03-17, 11:04   Link #13
BWTraveller
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This time seems to have played things a little different; it looked like we were going to go into another jump, only for it to skip forward a ways.

Instead of just going into another jump, we see the final result of what is implied to be a huge number of jumps and years of effort, eventually culminating in a decision to deliberately break the fundamental rules, and then get a look through part of those efforts, with more to come next week.
Spoiler for ch 37:


Looking back on recent chapters, I was kind of surprised by some hints laid down about the reveal from this chapter.
Spoiler:

Last edited by BWTraveller; 2021-03-19 at 20:53.
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Old 2021-03-24, 11:23   Link #14
BWTraveller
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Well, looks like this arc's over but we're definitely not done yet.
Spoiler:

At this point, the threat is over, but more than ever before it's become clear Mika that Nishimori's been keeping secrets from her. Here's hoping that he just comes clean, and that she does her best to convince him that she can and should participate in the pursuit of her own happiness.
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Old 2021-03-31, 11:23   Link #15
BWTraveller
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Spoiler for chapter 39:

It was sort of a given that Mika would break things off with Tooru at least for a bit after what happened; after going on about the starts and her necklace that represents a star that supposedly stands for "trusting love", she feels like she never should have trusted him. Either way though, it's nice at the end to see that this time around, Mika is the one that's taking action to change things. The one thing Tooru still needs to learn in my opinion is that ultimately, it's Mika's life and it's up to her to decide her future and her happiness. Perhaps from here out she'll be a more direct agent in the future she experiences.

Honestly, this series has led me to notice one of the major downsides to loop stories like these: having one singular person retain memories and take different actions to bring about different results kind of steals agency from other characters. It can start to feel like the other characters are passive parts in the story, their actions all reactionary to the hero's rather than having agency themselves. With that in mind, I'd say switching to the hero refusing to act or do anything but accept what's forced on him while the other characters take more action to bring about results is a very big improvement.
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Old 2021-04-03, 00:57   Link #16
tsunade666
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thanks for the summaries given.
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Old 2021-04-07, 10:52   Link #17
BWTraveller
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New arc. I really hope this doesn't have too many leaps. He's already learned a lot, he should be able to pick up on things a little quicker now... Honestly, this guy has improved in a lot of ways, but he still has a horrible habit of trying to decide Mika's future for her.
Spoiler for ch. 40:


Every time he goes back and forth Nishimori learns a bit more and grows just a bit. Even so, even though he's gotten over a lot of stupid delusions and hang ups, he still clearly has more to learn. He finally realized that focusing on ensuring that she never dated anyone else and trying to be her first and only was bad, but he still doesn't realize the most fundamental thing: that trying to control her future in the first place is never going to be good for her. Whether by trying to make her fall for him out of a belief that only he can make her happy or trying to cut ties or set her up with someone else out of a belief that she can't be happy with him, it's not his choice. I can't help but imagine that eventually she's going to confront him herself, and tell him that her future is not his to decide. Who she loves, what makes her happy, it's up to her and her alone. Maybe if he comes to understand that he'll be able to approach her properly.
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Old Today, 11:45   Link #18
BWTraveller
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Spoiler for chapter 41:


Sorry if anyone doesn't like me posting these summaries. At first I just did it to make it a little clearer what the story was about since the initial description seemed to invite misunderstanding, then continued out of habit and because I rather like it; I find it a pity more people don't talk about it. Either way, since he keeps going on about that ideal romance, again I really think it'd be cool if that's how it ends: both die and find themselves as little kids, and get a chance to live that ideal out together.
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