Ever been in a fight?

[whatever123]

no no no i did understand the joke no offense taken i was just trying to tease u my friend nothing more

and i just wanted to make a point 4 ppl who didnt understand me

[JAS0Nx]

Yes I have been!

I left my friend Karen's house to go to a party with my friend Albert late last night. Karen's plans involved going down to Speedway with her friend Cassidy to look for racer guys. See, it's not uncommon for girls to also hunt. Later, Albert and I inadvertently picked up two lipstick lesbians name Jaime and Katie and found ourselves at a party all the hell out in farm country compared to where I live. At the party the two bitches got plastered and started talking shit to EVERYONE. Katie was calling everyone a "spic" regardless of their nationality and was sternly questioning of their appreciation for her brother's efforts in Iraq. "How long has he been in Iraq?" I asked.
"Five years."
"Oh. . . so he got there before everybody else?" Was the wrong thing for me to say. After a short pause everyone within earshot exploded with laughter. She went OFF. She went off like the shock and awe campaign. The smartest idea came from Albert who suggested we drown her in the pool but instead I decided to take the dykes home. They talked so much SHIT. It was the longest car ride of my life. She incessantly whined, "As soon as you drop us off we're going to have my brother come out and kick the shit out of you!" What an ungrateful bitch, here we were saving her from certain death at the party and she was planning our ass beatings. Then while we were getting yelled at by the two obnoxious lesbians-one of which had her boobie hanging out (okay back to the story)-Karen unexpectedly called me and said she and Cassidy were being followed by three guys they met earlier that night. I told her we were on the wrong side of town but to call me in a little while if she still thought they were being followed. Sure enough she called back and said they followed them into a Wall Mart. If her tone of voice had sounded more upset I would have told her to call the police but instead I told her I'd call back when I was closer and to just stay inside Wall Mart. By the way, Wall Mart is breaking the back of the American worker so don't shop there. Then Jamie, the hotter dyke, asked me to stop so she could eat. I told her no and said I had a friend in trouble and then she was suddenly as equally upset as the Iraqi-dyke yelling, "I guess I know who my real friends are!! A real friend would stop and let me eat!! Her brother is going to kick your ass when you drop us off!!"
Once the dykes were back in Fandango Land (brother bear never came out) I called Karen and told her Albert and I were free to help them. She told me that the guys were still following them no matter where they drove to and asked that I show up at the Carl's Jr. parking lot and pretend to be her boyfriend. The theory was that another male's presence would deter any thoughts these assholes were entertaining that caused them to relentlessly pursue the girls all over town. The gravity of the situation didn't set in until we pulled into that parking lot. There was Karen's car, parked and running, and the other car parking and running. In the other car were some huge South Tucson gang bangers looking fairly pissed off as they demanded that the girls go over and suck their dicks. Suddenly I was perplexed as to why my fairly intelligent friend Karen thought that at 3AM it would be a better idea to call the real life Joe French for help instead of something to do with mother fucking LAW ENFORCEMENT. So I got out of my car, put on a fake smile, and walked over to the thug'd out Oldsmobile. "Goodnight guys! We're all going to go home and go to sleep now. No party tonight. You better go home too." Apparently I was just talking to a damn brick wall because the three dudes just stared at me with their tattoos and crooked sports caps on. I assessed the situation and asked that Cassidy get into my car and Albert get into Karen's car. I was hoping that if we put a guy and a girl combination together in each car and drove off the trio of douchebags would get the idea that they weren't getting any tonight and would go home. No such luck. Karen and Albert pulled out of the parking lot first, I drove off with Cassidy second, and the dumb sons of bitches were now behind me. We flipped a bitch and started driving down the opposite direction and suddenly the dipshits sped up to cut Karen off. Karen got around them so they stopped in the middle of the street forcing me to stop behind them. I gave them one of those annoyed what-the-fuck-then kind of honks and suddenly they all spilled out of the car. This gave Karen and Albert some time to get away but it left Cassidy and I in the new role of human shield. Now, we've all been in the situation where a car blocks you off on an empty street and a bunch of angry Mexicans spill out of it. You start exploring your options: Die honorably or die cowardly. I quickly put the car in reverse and swung it back a little bit as Cassidy yelled, "Get us out of here!!" I must have inadvertently put it into neutral after that because when I saw my hole and punched it nothing happened. "Damn! I thought that only happens in the movies!!" I yelled.
"Jason DRIVE!!!"
"Okay!" I found the drive again and blew past this angry gentlemen who, if I understood his message correctly, wanted me to get out of the car so he could kill me for no reason other than my being a fucking mother fucker. Isn't that a form of racism? And because angry gentlemen don't like to go home without having beaten their share of community college students they were on my ass again in no time. Unfortunately Karen and Albert hadn't gotten far enough ahead so suddenly we were both back racing through a residential neighborhood, hoping that we could find an out and not get trapped in a culdesac without an exit. By now I had the police on my cell phone and we were trying to arrange an interception. "Where's my backup??!!" I yelled as these high school drop outs made every turn we made. Then FINALLY we broke up at the medical plaza. The gang bangers fled because of the presence of cops but got nabbed at an outlet mall a few streets over. As the officer took my statement he made sure I was twenty-one because he smelled alcohol on my breath. I only had one drink at the party just to be polite to the host! Anyway, with the excitement mostly over with, we had to drive by the gang bangers who the cops had all lined up in front of the Little Caesar's so we could identify them. The driver is getting his licensed suspended because the cops witnessed him driving recklessly but the other guys aren't getting anything because obviously their story was different than what actually happened. If we wanted charges made we'd all have to go to court and let a judge try to sort the whole mess out. I voted for going to court but my comrades just wanted it to be over with. I finally got home at about five in the morning.
The moral of this story is simple: I got to see a hot lesbian boobie.

[Tzurial]

woah..I just read all that because I didnt realize how long it was gonna be. Anyway, I dont know why your friend didnt call the cops in the first place (well, thinking about it, I probably wouldnt have either, who wants to talk to those damn popos) so its a good thing you showed up to help her and Im glad it all eventually turned out ok without anyone getting beat up/raped/scalped/whatever. Angry lesbians are also no fun.

offtopic but I agree with the walmart thing...thier stuff is so damn cheap cuz they dont give theyre employees any benifits...the jerks

[Nine Devil]

Yes i fought a lot but this is the worst ever read

ok when i was 12 or something i beat a guy who was 14 pretty nice .I beat the crap out of him , if his older girlfriends and friends didn't come i would be still kicking his ass.Here comes the sad part.its been 3-4 years ago and im in love with a girl.(i could get her but there is some things that happened-dont want to write it takes to long)now.But she has a boyfriend(i danced with her and everything like american rap style if you know what i mean.But i found out her boyfriend is the guy i beat 3-4 years ago.Noooooooooooooooooooo is this fate