The Genderbending of Haruhi Suzumiya [Spoilers Aplenty]

[Roger Rambo]

...oh crap, Mikuru now gets molested by Haruki.

That does seem a bit odd though. If Haruki was that blatant you'd think he'd be more aggressive with Kyonko...

[otai]

Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

ITT: Language is silly.


In other news, I have completely yet another work of craftsmanship.

Spoiler for September the Sixth, Day 5, Mikuru: Flashes In Space- Memories in Pieces (ASAHINA):

Flashes in Space- Memories in Pieces (ASAHINA)

Whoaaaaaa!

I just had some kind of waking dream... it involved melting faces and little boys pretending to be attractive women.

...I gotta stop eating the school lunches. They must be making me hallucinate.

I'm walking around the school during my break, trying to look for interesting people to join my club. You can't have a club without club members, and my manly club needs manly club members!

...Although, both of the members I have right now are girls... Hmm, damn.

Suddenly! A random face in a random classroom catches my discerning eyes.

It's some kid... he's in a second-year room, but he looks more like a first-year... hell, he looks more like a middle school student.

I bet he's the most unmanly guy in his year. It's like he's the exact opposite of me!

...A rival character? No, that's almost too cliche.

Still... I have an idea!


FLASH


“You go first!”

I yelled this at Kyon as I dashed out of the classroom. His eyes followed me with his usual exasperated look.

...Wait... what did I just.

Ahhh, probably nothing.

I kick open the door of Classroom 2-3. And by “kick open”, I mean “slide open with my foot, violently”.

“Hey, everybody!” I loudly greet the confused second years, and, a wide grin pasted to my visage, get right in the face of that weak brat I saw earlier.

He looks like he's gonna piss himself. Excellent. Perfect for my Turn a Wimp into a Real Man Project.

“Um... what do you want...?”

“My name is Haruki Suzumiya! What's yours?”


FLASH


“...this is Mikuru Asahina-san!”

That should be good enough for an introduction!

...

Silence hung heavy in my clubroom. Bah, someone say something. And by “someone”, I mean “Kyon”, since I don't expect that weirdo Yuuki to say a damn thing.

“Where did you abduct her from? The poor girl looks like she'll be scarred for life.”

Thank you, Kyon! ...Despite your insubordinate comments.

“I didn't abduct her! I just threw her over my shoulder and carried her here. You know, just like I do with you.”

That's how real men treat women! ...I dimly realized there would be consequences if I said something like that out loud. Indeed, Kyon already looks as though she wants to break something. I should be careful!

“I found her staring into space in a second-year clubroom, so I just swept her off her feet. Hell, she didn't even kick and scream that much, unlike you.”

Hmm, think I must have said the wrong thing again. ...Kyon is probably going to crack her own skull the way she's gripping it.

“...You do realize that makes her our senior, right?”

“Yeah, so? I believe in a world without societal barriers!”

In my ideal world, freshmen are perfectly capable of carrying off tiny junior year girls. In fact, it's encouraged.

Kyon was doing deep breathing exercises before continuing our discussion. I waited for her to be done.

“Okay... I probably don't want to know, but why did you even bring her here to begin with?”

You mean you don't know! Come on, it's obvious!

“Look at her! She's so adorable! We can sell her body for money.”

“......What!?”

“Ehhh... Ehhhhh!?”

The two of them cried out at once. I ignored them both, feeling my rant-mode coming on.

“I have found the Holy Grail! That is, a girl with both a lolita face and big tits. A Japanese man's dream! We can sell tickets.”

Before Asahina-san had the chance to run away, I groped her from behind, making sure to emit an evil chuckle as I did so. She screamed.

“Seriously, these puppies are enormous. Like perfectly ripe fruit!”

Biggest. Breasts. Ever.

...I get the distinct feeling there is something very morally wrong about this, but I no longer care.

Squishy~.

“Kyaaaaaaaa!”

Oh, pipe down. If you don't stop yelling, the teachers will be all over this place.

“Man, this is fun. Hey, Yuuki, wanna give this a whirl? I guarantee you'll enjoy it, or your money back!”

Yuuki slowly looks up, looks over, shakes his head, and goes back to his book.

“Your loss, then.”

She's crying now... that just makes me wanna do it more!

This must be what they call “moe”. I do feel all warm and fuzzy inside...

“Hahahahaha... Heeeeey, I wonder what color her panties are... wanna check, Kyon? ......Kyon?”

I looked up to see Kyon's foot flying towards my face.


FLASH


“Take this.”

I passed Kyon an instant camera. I want to capture this moment on film, for posterity.

“Listen up, Kyon! Here's the plan!”

I motion her closer so I could whisper in her ear.

“I'm going to use Mitsuuru-kun's body to get us a free computer, and you're going to snap photos for blackmail purposes.”


“What!? You can't be seri--”

“In we go, then!”

Mitsuuru-kun, stop blushing at Kyon. This is the reason you exist. Never forget what follows.

I kick open the door. And by “kick open”, I mean “kick open”.

“What's up, humans? We've come to collect a computer!”

Startled by the combined noise of my raised voice and hinges breaking, the four guys inside, who had been clattering away at their keyboards, all turned their heads towards me.


FLASH


I fumble through my inter-dimensional pocket, which is really the paper bag I'm carrying, and brandish that which I spent all my hard-earned (not really) money on.

“Et, voila!”

French is a language of cultured men, the kind of men who wear Chippendale outfits.

Silence was all that greeted the object I was holding out. Well, that was to be expected, but this silence is a more horrified silence than a shocked silence.

“What? What is it? I know it's kind of risque, but there's no reason to...”

Mitsuuru-kun looked at me with a mixture of fear, confusion, and... is that pity?

“Um... you can't possibly expect me to w-wear that...”

“Haruki... what on earth... I knew you were depraved, but...”

Even Yuuki-kun is looking at me. He's not looking at me with any expression, of course, but he's still looking at me.

“Okay, I expected negative feedback here, but this is a bit...”

I finally look at what I'm holding. It's not leather pants, like I thought.

I'm holding what is obviously the bottom half of a bright red bunny girl outfit.

...This wasn't what I ordered!


Quick, must save dignity... must save... dignity...

“...This is for you, Kyon! Merry Christmas!”

“It's May!”


FLASH


“...And that's why I was taking off Asahina-san's clothing!”

I was in the middle of explaining to Kyon why I had been forcing Mikuru Asahina-san into a maid costume.

“So because you didn't get to play with dolls when you were little like you wanted to, you have a compulsive need to force helpless people into strange clothing?”

“Exactly!”

It's a lie, of course. I have a maid fetish, and since I'd never get Kyon in one of those outfits, I was going to have Asahina-san wear it instead. Unfortunately, she wasn't being very compliant, so...

“You know what, Haruki?”

“What's that, Kyon?”

I feel a clear sense of hostility.

“I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT YOUR COMPULSIONS!”

Ow! My shin!

Ow! My other shin...

Ow! The floor...

Hey... at this angle...I can see up both their skirts... ahaha... ahaha... Kyon, you shouldn't wear black panties, that's so dirty... ahaha...

Ow! My face!


FLASH


“Let's split up, gang!”

None of my subordinates got the reference. You people fuel my depression.

“We're gonna split into two parties. If we find anything mysterious~, we contact each other on our phones, and decide where to meet up later. Kay?”

Koizumi-san raised her hand.

“Yes?”

“That sounds like an excellent plan, Suzumiya-san, but how are we going to decide on who goes with who?”

We had rehearsed this beforehand.

“I'm glad you asked!”

I pulled out the toothpicks I had marked earlier.

“Draw lots!”

...Unfortunately, Kyon ended up with Mitsuuru-kun. He looks entirely too happy.

“Mitsuuru-kun! This isn't a date! This is serious work! Un-der-stand!?”

If you take advantage of this opportunity I swear you'll be wearing something far worse than a maid oufit.

Ignoring his obsequience, I turned back to my coffee, intent on drowning my sorrows... however, I noticed that my hand, instead of being large and manly, was instead small and feminine.

While I was examining this extreme oddity, I heard a polite male voice.

“What are we looking for?”

I looked up. I was surrounded by people I didn't recognize.

And still... it's pretty easy to guess who they're supposed to be, yeah?

“Something wrong?”

I look down at my body. I'm wearing something eerily similar to what Koizumi-san was wearing only a few moments ago. I'm also a girl.

“Suzumiya-san... er... why are you groping yourself?”

What the hell. Seriously, what the hell.

Another waking dream? No, no, this isn't a dream. This is reality. I can tell! And it's not a good reality, either!

This is not what I meant when I said I wanted a mysterious event!

What in the hell is


FLASH


Always remember: What is true for one, is true for the other.

...Does that really make much sense in this case?


FLASH


And then I wake up.

Ahaha.

This sequence is why you never let Haruki near women like Mikuru.

Tis' Great! Don't trust your mind when it's lost.

Although I must say, I expected the scene where Haruki and Mitsuuru distribute the fliers, and/or their subsequent scolding by the teachers. Haruki would be constantly comparing himself with and disdaining Mitsuuru in the way each of them reacted to the trouble they had. It's also one of the few scenes that has never been written before and might be interesting to see.

[scify]

Hmm... Haruki seems much calmer about Kyon(ko) aggression than expected in this bit. Are we chalking it up to the weirdness of everything constantly changing constantly putting him off-balance (even if he doesn't seem to consciously notice it)?

[Iaevuous]

Originally Posted by Heatth

Curiously, I find apostrophes pretty easy. You put then to "replace" a letter that goes missing due to contractions right? Pretty easy to remeber where to put. The exeption is the "'s" to indicate possession. But I can't even imagine how someone would mistake it for the plural 's'.

According to Wikipedia citing Eats, Shoots & Leaves, it was standard orthography to use apostrophes to indicate plurals for foreign-looking words ending in vowels* for the sake of indicating pronunciation before the nineteenth century, which is where the confusion arises.

Hey, even with contractions, it took some time for standardization to settle in. Lewis Carroll used "ca'n't" and "sha'n't".

*"banana's", "folio's", "logo's", "quarto's", "pasta's", "ouzo's", etc.

[Sho-tan]

Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

ITT: Language is silly.


In other news, I have completely yet another work of craftsmanship.

Spoiler for September the Sixth, Day 5, Mikuru: Flashes In Space- Memories in Pieces (ASAHINA):

Flashes in Space- Memories in Pieces (ASAHINA)

Whoaaaaaa!

I just had some kind of waking dream... it involved melting faces and little boys pretending to be attractive women.

...I gotta stop eating the school lunches. They must be making me hallucinate.

I'm walking around the school during my break, trying to look for interesting people to join my club. You can't have a club without club members, and my manly club needs manly club members!

...Although, both of the members I have right now are girls... Hmm, damn.

Suddenly! A random face in a random classroom catches my discerning eyes.

It's some kid... he's in a second-year room, but he looks more like a first-year... hell, he looks more like a middle school student.

I bet he's the most unmanly guy in his year. It's like he's the exact opposite of me!

...A rival character? No, that's almost too cliche.

Still... I have an idea!


FLASH


“You go first!”

I yelled this at Kyon as I dashed out of the classroom. His eyes followed me with his usual exasperated look.

...Wait... what did I just.

Ahhh, probably nothing.

I kick open the door of Classroom 2-3. And by “kick open”, I mean “slide open with my foot, violently”.

“Hey, everybody!” I loudly greet the confused second years, and, a wide grin pasted to my visage, get right in the face of that weak brat I saw earlier.

He looks like he's gonna piss himself. Excellent. Perfect for my Turn a Wimp into a Real Man Project.

“Um... what do you want...?”

“My name is Haruki Suzumiya! What's yours?”


FLASH


“...this is Mikuru Asahina-san!”

That should be good enough for an introduction!

...

Silence hung heavy in my clubroom. Bah, someone say something. And by “someone”, I mean “Kyon”, since I don't expect that weirdo Yuuki to say a damn thing.

“Where did you abduct her from? The poor girl looks like she'll be scarred for life.”

Thank you, Kyon! ...Despite your insubordinate comments.

“I didn't abduct her! I just threw her over my shoulder and carried her here. You know, just like I do with you.”

That's how real men treat women! ...I dimly realized there would be consequences if I said something like that out loud. Indeed, Kyon already looks as though she wants to break something. I should be careful!

“I found her staring into space in a second-year clubroom, so I just swept her off her feet. Hell, she didn't even kick and scream that much, unlike you.”

Hmm, think I must have said the wrong thing again. ...Kyon is probably going to crack her own skull the way she's gripping it.

“...You do realize that makes her our senior, right?”

“Yeah, so? I believe in a world without societal barriers!”

In my ideal world, freshmen are perfectly capable of carrying off tiny junior year girls. In fact, it's encouraged.

Kyon was doing deep breathing exercises before continuing our discussion. I waited for her to be done.

“Okay... I probably don't want to know, but why did you even bring her here to begin with?”

You mean you don't know! Come on, it's obvious!

“Look at her! She's so adorable! We can sell her body for money.”

“......What!?”

“Ehhh... Ehhhhh!?”

The two of them cried out at once. I ignored them both, feeling my rant-mode coming on.

“I have found the Holy Grail! That is, a girl with both a lolita face and big tits. A Japanese man's dream! We can sell tickets.”

Before Asahina-san had the chance to run away, I groped her from behind, making sure to emit an evil chuckle as I did so. She screamed.

“Seriously, these puppies are enormous. Like perfectly ripe fruit!”

Biggest. Breasts. Ever.

...I get the distinct feeling there is something very morally wrong about this, but I no longer care.

Squishy~.

“Kyaaaaaaaa!”

Oh, pipe down. If you don't stop yelling, the teachers will be all over this place.

“Man, this is fun. Hey, Yuuki, wanna give this a whirl? I guarantee you'll enjoy it, or your money back!”

Yuuki slowly looks up, looks over, shakes his head, and goes back to his book.

“Your loss, then.”

She's crying now... that just makes me wanna do it more!

This must be what they call “moe”. I do feel all warm and fuzzy inside...

“Hahahahaha... Heeeeey, I wonder what color her panties are... wanna check, Kyon? ......Kyon?”

I looked up to see Kyon's foot flying towards my face.


FLASH


“Take this.”

I passed Kyon an instant camera. I want to capture this moment on film, for posterity.

“Listen up, Kyon! Here's the plan!”

I motion her closer so I could whisper in her ear.

“I'm going to use Mitsuuru-kun's body to get us a free computer, and you're going to snap photos for blackmail purposes.”


“What!? You can't be seri--”

“In we go, then!”

Mitsuuru-kun, stop blushing at Kyon. This is the reason you exist. Never forget what follows.

I kick open the door. And by “kick open”, I mean “kick open”.

“What's up, humans? We've come to collect a computer!”

Startled by the combined noise of my raised voice and hinges breaking, the four guys inside, who had been clattering away at their keyboards, all turned their heads towards me.


FLASH


I fumble through my inter-dimensional pocket, which is really the paper bag I'm carrying, and brandish that which I spent all my hard-earned (not really) money on.

“Et, voila!”

French is a language of cultured men, the kind of men who wear Chippendale outfits.

Silence was all that greeted the object I was holding out. Well, that was to be expected, but this silence is a more horrified silence than a shocked silence.

“What? What is it? I know it's kind of risque, but there's no reason to...”

Mitsuuru-kun looked at me with a mixture of fear, confusion, and... is that pity?

“Um... you can't possibly expect me to w-wear that...”

“Haruki... what on earth... I knew you were depraved, but...”

Even Yuuki-kun is looking at me. He's not looking at me with any expression, of course, but he's still looking at me.

“Okay, I expected negative feedback here, but this is a bit...”

I finally look at what I'm holding. It's not leather pants, like I thought.

I'm holding what is obviously the bottom half of a bright red bunny girl outfit.

...This wasn't what I ordered!


Quick, must save dignity... must save... dignity...

“...This is for you, Kyon! Merry Christmas!”

“It's May!”


FLASH


“...And that's why I was taking off Asahina-san's clothing!”

I was in the middle of explaining to Kyon why I had been forcing Mikuru Asahina-san into a maid costume.

“So because you didn't get to play with dolls when you were little like you wanted to, you have a compulsive need to force helpless people into strange clothing?”

“Exactly!”

It's a lie, of course. I have a maid fetish, and since I'd never get Kyon in one of those outfits, I was going to have Asahina-san wear it instead. Unfortunately, she wasn't being very compliant, so...

“You know what, Haruki?”

“What's that, Kyon?”

I feel a clear sense of hostility.

“I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT YOUR COMPULSIONS!”

Ow! My shin!

Ow! My other shin...

Ow! The floor...

Hey... at this angle...I can see up both their skirts... ahaha... ahaha... Kyon, you shouldn't wear black panties, that's so dirty... ahaha...

Ow! My face!


FLASH


“Let's split up, gang!”

None of my subordinates got the reference. You people fuel my depression.

“We're gonna split into two parties. If we find anything mysterious~, we contact each other on our phones, and decide where to meet up later. Kay?”

Koizumi-san raised her hand.

“Yes?”

“That sounds like an excellent plan, Suzumiya-san, but how are we going to decide on who goes with who?”

We had rehearsed this beforehand.

“I'm glad you asked!”

I pulled out the toothpicks I had marked earlier.

“Draw lots!”

...Unfortunately, Kyon ended up with Mitsuuru-kun. He looks entirely too happy.

“Mitsuuru-kun! This isn't a date! This is serious work! Un-der-stand!?”

If you take advantage of this opportunity I swear you'll be wearing something far worse than a maid oufit.

Ignoring his obsequience, I turned back to my coffee, intent on drowning my sorrows... however, I noticed that my hand, instead of being large and manly, was instead small and feminine.

While I was examining this extreme oddity, I heard a polite male voice.

“What are we looking for?”

I looked up. I was surrounded by people I didn't recognize.

And still... it's pretty easy to guess who they're supposed to be, yeah?

“Something wrong?”

I look down at my body. I'm wearing something eerily similar to what Koizumi-san was wearing only a few moments ago. I'm also a girl.

“Suzumiya-san... er... why are you groping yourself?”

What the hell. Seriously, what the hell.

Another waking dream? No, no, this isn't a dream. This is reality. I can tell! And it's not a good reality, either!

This is not what I meant when I said I wanted a mysterious event!

What in the hell is


FLASH


Always remember: What is true for one, is true for the other.

...Does that really make much sense in this case?


FLASH


And then I wake up.

Ahaha.

This sequence is why you never let Haruki near women like Mikuru.

Wh-what? What the-

Clearly, I have been away from this thread for far too long.

[Tyabann]

Originally Posted by Roger Rambo

That does seem a bit odd though. If Haruki was that blatant you'd think he'd be more aggressive with Kyonko...

You know how schoolboys brutally tease the girls they like?

It's kind of like that... furthermore, Haruki wants to date Kyonko, not just sleep with her.

Originally Posted by otai

Although I must say, I expected the scene where Haruki and Mitsuuru distribute the fliers, and/or their subsequent scolding by the teachers. Haruki would be constantly comparing himself with and disdaining Mitsuuru in the way each of them reacted to the trouble they had. It's also one of the few scenes that has never been written before and might be interesting to see.

That isn't exactly in the books and I was tired... I can probably write about it after I finish fixing the previous scene today.

Originally Posted by scify

Hmm... Haruki seems much calmer about Kyon(ko) aggression than expected in this bit. Are we chalking it up to the weirdness of everything constantly changing constantly putting him off-balance (even if he doesn't seem to consciously notice it)?

I did this in the original rewrites too... Haruki is perfectly fine with physical violence directed at his person if he knows he fully deserves it.

The thing about Sighs is that a) She slapped him, which carries certain connotations even if it is less painful than being stomped in the face, b) she was much, much angrier than she'd ever been before, and c) he didn't quite realize that he fully deserved it at the time.

He's also never done anything quite this bad in canon, so...

[Roger Rambo]

Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

You know how schoolboys brutally tease the girls they like?

True.

Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

It's kind of like that... furthermore, Haruki wants to date Kyonko, not just sleep with her.

So everything else with boobs Haruki is overtly ecchi towards...including Itsuko?

Admittedly, the later would probably enjoy it.

[Tyabann]

Originally Posted by Roger Rambo

So everything else with boobs Haruki is overtly ecchi towards...including Itsuko?

Hmm, not to the same extent... here he's molesting Mikuru partially because she'll react in a certain way... it'd be no fun to do that to Itsuko.

Furthermore, I kind of get the feeling Haruki sees her in the same way Kyon sees Mikuru... untouchable.

Given Itsuko's ridiculously good looks, this is understandable. It does not mean, however, that he's above using her body to make money, as we see in Sighs.

Originally Posted by Roger Rambo

Admittedly, the later would probably enjoy it.

I'm not so sure about that... Itsuko still has her dignity.

[Roger Rambo]

Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

Hmm, not to the same extent... here he's molesting Mikuru partially because she'll react in a certain way... it'd be no fun to do that to Itsuko.

Meaning Haruki isn't happy unless the other gives a nice distressed reaction.

That sounds about right. Haruki always came off as the dominant bully.

Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

Furthermore, I kind of get the feeling Haruki sees her in the same way Kyon sees Mikuru... untouchable. Given Itsuko's ridiculously good looks, this is understandable. It does not mean, however, that he's above using her body to make money, as we see in Sighs.

So bassically Itsuko is "Ms Fanservice" who he uses to get what he wants.

Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

I'm not so sure about that... Itsuko still has her dignity.

I'm mainly thinking of Alt Koizumi crushing on Suzumiya.

[Tyabann]

Originally Posted by Roger Rambo

That sounds about right. Haruki always came off as the dominant bully.

Haruhi does the same thing...

Originally Posted by Roger Rambo

So bassically Itsuko is "Ms Fanservice" who he uses to get what he wants.

You'll see when I get around to the Itsuko scenes, but that's part of the reason why he inducted her.

Haruki is always thinking of ways to get what he wants.

Originally Posted by Roger Rambo

I'm mainly thinking of Alt Koizumi crushing on Suzumiya.

Well, that's the Cool Pre-I'll Form A Club Haruki. While still a huge pervert, he disguises it by acting uninterested in everything. It's easy to see why some girls would take an interest in that.

[Kogetsu Shirogane]

Originally Posted by Heatth

Heck, why you don't just give up this silly VN thing and start a fanfic with all female cast exept Haruki? It would be hilarious.

This idea has come up before, actually. And it's rather amusing that, after I finally get around to actually trying something with it, people start talking about the idea again.

[swtrooper42]

Originally Posted by Kogetsu Shirogane

This idea has come up before, actually. And it's rather amusing that, after I finally get around to actually trying something with it, people start talking about the idea again.

Why do I foresee that turning into Seitokai no Ichizon without all the references? Though that would be amusing.

Spoiler for The Idea:

It was warm and sunny outside, so everyone in the class was getting sleepy. Just as I was nodding my head and going to sleep, a powerful force suddenly grabbed my ponytail and pulled backwards. Because the force was so strong, my head hit the edge of the desk behind me. It hurt so bad that my eyes started to tear up.

"What the hell do you think you’re doing!?"

I turned my head around and saw Haruki, one hand still grabbing my hair, smiling a big smile that was as bright as the desert sun — this is the first time I've seen him smile. If smiles can be measured in terms of temperature, then his smile was as hot as the Sahara desert. It’s overwhelming… he needs to smile more often.

"I got it!"

Hey, don't spit all over me!

"Why didn't I think of this before?"

Haruki's eyes shone as brightly as the stars.

He stared at me pointedly. With utter unenthusiasm, I asked:

"What is that you finally thought of?"

"If it doesn't exist, I can just create one myself!"

"Create what?"

"A harem!"

I was completely stunned and thrown off by this statement.

"What in the hell are you going on about?"

He stood up at this point. I guess it made him think he was making his point more effectively.

"It's like you were saying! Only a genius can convert their imagination into reality! Therefore, I will build a harem of cute girls with me as its center!"

Scratch what I said before, NOW I'm completely stunned and thrown off.

Haruki proceeded to explain his "genius" reasoning.

"Those protagonists in dating sims seem to woo girls over to them just by being in their general vicinity! Well, I have the will and the power to do more than just that! With the power of my being I can make it possible!"

My head span, but I didn't think it had anything to do with my head smacking into the desk just a second ago.

"I see. That's... that's great. Do you think you could let go of my hair now?"

"What's with your reaction?" he pouted. "You should be happier about something like this!"

"You can tell me all about it later" I said. "Right now, I just want you to think about where exactly we are right now. And please, calm down!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Class is still in session."

Haruki finally let go of my ponytail. As I turned my ringing head back towards the front of the classroom, I noticed most of my classmates gawking, awestruck, their mouths hanging half-open. The poor newbie English teacher, piece of chalk still in hand, stared at us as well, looking as though he were ready to cry.

I signaled Haruki to sit down, quickly, and bowed politely towards the poor teacher, as if to say, please continue with the lesson. As the teacher begun nervously scratching on the board again, I could hear Haruki muttering something under his breath as he unwillingly took his seat.

"Maybe the Kyon route is harder than I thought..."

Creating a harem?

Don't tell me I'm already a member. I not going to be a member.

My poor, aching head was arguably a omen of things to come.

I sighed. I wonder if it's too late to fill out a restraining order?"

Shamelessly reedited from Kaisos' rewrites.

Coming soon to a forum near you! Maybe. Probably not.

[Roger Rambo]

Originally Posted by swtrooper42

Why do I foresee that turning into Seitokai no Ichizon without all the references? Though that would be amusing.

Spoiler for The Idea:

It was warm and sunny outside, so everyone in the class was getting sleepy. Just as I was nodding my head and going to sleep, a powerful force suddenly grabbed my ponytail and pulled backwards. Because the force was so strong, my head hit the edge of the desk behind me. It hurt so bad that my eyes started to tear up.

"What the hell do you think you’re doing!?"

I turned my head around and saw Haruki, one hand still grabbing my hair, smiling a big smile that was as bright as the desert sun — this is the first time I've seen him smile. If smiles can be measured in terms of temperature, then his smile was as hot as the Sahara desert. It’s overwhelming… he needs to smile more often.

"I got it!"

Hey, don't spit all over me!

"Why didn't I think of this before?"

Haruki's eyes shone as brightly as the stars.

He stared at me pointedly. With utter unenthusiasm, I asked:

"What is that you finally thought of?"

"If it doesn't exist, I can just create one myself!"

"Create what?"

"A harem!"

I was completely stunned and thrown off my this statement.

"What in the hell are you going on about?"

He stood up at this point. I guess it made him think he was making his point more effectively.

"It's like you were saying! Only a genius can convert their imagination into reality! Therefore, I will build a harem of cute girls with me as its center!"

Scratch what I said before, NOW I'm completely stunned and thrown off.

Haruki proceeded to explain his "genius" reasoning.

"Those protagonists in dating sims seem to woo girls over to them just by being in their general vicinity! Well, I have the will and the power to do more than just that! With the power of my being I can make it possible!"

My head span, but I didn't think it had anything to do with my head smacking into the desk just a second ago.

"I see. That's... that's great. Do you think you could let go of my hair now?"

"What's with your reaction?" he pouted. "You should be happier about something like this!"

"You can tell me all about it later" I said. "Right now, I just want you to think about where exactly we are right now. And please, calm down!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Class is still in session."

Haruki finally let go of my ponytail. As I turned my ringing head back towards the front of the classroom, I noticed most of my classmates gawking, awestruck, their mouths hanging half-open. The poor newbie English teacher, piece of chalk still in hand, stared at us as well, looking as though he were ready to cry.

I signaled Haruki to sit down, quickly, and bowed politely towards the poor teacher, as if to say, please continue with the lesson. As the teacher begun nervously scratching on the board again, I could hear Haruki muttering something under his breath as he unwillingly took his seat.

"Maybe the Kyon route is harder than I thought..."

Creating a harem?

Don't tell me I'm already a member. I not going to be a member.

My poor, aching head was arguably a omen of things to come.

I sighed. I wonder if it's too late to fill out a restraining order?"

Shamelessly reedited from Kaisos' rewrites.

Coming soon to a forum near you! Maybe. Probably not.

Win. Pure win.

That is all.

[Tyabann]

Originally Posted by swtrooper42

*snip*

This idea is hilarious (not in the least because Takashi Kondo was one of my VA suggestions for Haruki). I approve.

Someone else needs to do it, though.

[Nanao-kun]

Originally Posted by swtrooper42

Why do I foresee that turning into Seitokai no Ichizon without all the references? Though that would be amusing.

Spoiler for The Idea:

It was warm and sunny outside, so everyone in the class was getting sleepy. Just as I was nodding my head and going to sleep, a powerful force suddenly grabbed my ponytail and pulled backwards. Because the force was so strong, my head hit the edge of the desk behind me. It hurt so bad that my eyes started to tear up.

"What the hell do you think you’re doing!?"

I turned my head around and saw Haruki, one hand still grabbing my hair, smiling a big smile that was as bright as the desert sun — this is the first time I've seen him smile. If smiles can be measured in terms of temperature, then his smile was as hot as the Sahara desert. It’s overwhelming… he needs to smile more often.

"I got it!"

Hey, don't spit all over me!

"Why didn't I think of this before?"

Haruki's eyes shone as brightly as the stars.

He stared at me pointedly. With utter unenthusiasm, I asked:

"What is that you finally thought of?"

"If it doesn't exist, I can just create one myself!"

"Create what?"

"A harem!"

I was completely stunned and thrown off my this statement.

"What in the hell are you going on about?"

He stood up at this point. I guess it made him think he was making his point more effectively.

"It's like you were saying! Only a genius can convert their imagination into reality! Therefore, I will build a harem of cute girls with me as its center!"

Scratch what I said before, NOW I'm completely stunned and thrown off.

Haruki proceeded to explain his "genius" reasoning.

"Those protagonists in dating sims seem to woo girls over to them just by being in their general vicinity! Well, I have the will and the power to do more than just that! With the power of my being I can make it possible!"

My head span, but I didn't think it had anything to do with my head smacking into the desk just a second ago.

"I see. That's... that's great. Do you think you could let go of my hair now?"

"What's with your reaction?" he pouted. "You should be happier about something like this!"

"You can tell me all about it later" I said. "Right now, I just want you to think about where exactly we are right now. And please, calm down!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Class is still in session."

Haruki finally let go of my ponytail. As I turned my ringing head back towards the front of the classroom, I noticed most of my classmates gawking, awestruck, their mouths hanging half-open. The poor newbie English teacher, piece of chalk still in hand, stared at us as well, looking as though he were ready to cry.

I signaled Haruki to sit down, quickly, and bowed politely towards the poor teacher, as if to say, please continue with the lesson. As the teacher begun nervously scratching on the board again, I could hear Haruki muttering something under his breath as he unwillingly took his seat.

"Maybe the Kyon route is harder than I thought..."

Creating a harem?

Don't tell me I'm already a member. I not going to be a member.

My poor, aching head was arguably a omen of things to come.

I sighed. I wonder if it's too late to fill out a restraining order?"

Shamelessly reedited from Kaisos' rewrites.

Coming soon to a forum near you! Maybe. Probably not.

ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!! Awesome.

[spawnofthejudge]

Been a while since I perused this thread.

Do you still need a composer?

[bhl88]

Kaisos wants remixers or something... he wants 100% Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu's music

[Roger Rambo]

Originally Posted by swtrooper42

Why do I foresee that turning into Seitokai no Ichizon without all the references? Though that would be amusing.

Spoiler for The Idea:

It was warm and sunny outside, so everyone in the class was getting sleepy. Just as I was nodding my head and going to sleep, a powerful force suddenly grabbed my ponytail and pulled backwards. Because the force was so strong, my head hit the edge of the desk behind me. It hurt so bad that my eyes started to tear up.

"What the hell do you think you’re doing!?"

I turned my head around and saw Haruki, one hand still grabbing my hair, smiling a big smile that was as bright as the desert sun — this is the first time I've seen him smile. If smiles can be measured in terms of temperature, then his smile was as hot as the Sahara desert. It’s overwhelming… he needs to smile more often.

"I got it!"

Hey, don't spit all over me!

"Why didn't I think of this before?"

Haruki's eyes shone as brightly as the stars.

He stared at me pointedly. With utter unenthusiasm, I asked:

"What is that you finally thought of?"

"If it doesn't exist, I can just create one myself!"

"Create what?"

"A harem!"

I was completely stunned and thrown off by this statement.

"What in the hell are you going on about?"

He stood up at this point. I guess it made him think he was making his point more effectively.

"It's like you were saying! Only a genius can convert their imagination into reality! Therefore, I will build a harem of cute girls with me as its center!"

Scratch what I said before, NOW I'm completely stunned and thrown off.

Haruki proceeded to explain his "genius" reasoning.

"Those protagonists in dating sims seem to woo girls over to them just by being in their general vicinity! Well, I have the will and the power to do more than just that! With the power of my being I can make it possible!"

My head span, but I didn't think it had anything to do with my head smacking into the desk just a second ago.

"I see. That's... that's great. Do you think you could let go of my hair now?"

"What's with your reaction?" he pouted. "You should be happier about something like this!"

"You can tell me all about it later" I said. "Right now, I just want you to think about where exactly we are right now. And please, calm down!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Class is still in session."

Haruki finally let go of my ponytail. As I turned my ringing head back towards the front of the classroom, I noticed most of my classmates gawking, awestruck, their mouths hanging half-open. The poor newbie English teacher, piece of chalk still in hand, stared at us as well, looking as though he were ready to cry.

I signaled Haruki to sit down, quickly, and bowed politely towards the poor teacher, as if to say, please continue with the lesson. As the teacher begun nervously scratching on the board again, I could hear Haruki muttering something under his breath as he unwillingly took his seat.

"Maybe the Kyon route is harder than I thought..."

Creating a harem?

Don't tell me I'm already a member. I not going to be a member.

My poor, aching head was arguably a omen of things to come.

I sighed. I wonder if it's too late to fill out a restraining order?"

Shamelessly reedited from Kaisos' rewrites.

Coming soon to a forum near you! Maybe. Probably not.

I'm thinking that Haruki will have to regularly fight off half the student body after he Kidnaps Mikuru...starting with Tsuruya.

[ryanasaurus0077]

Do I sense something similar to the Rambo movies? I mean, only John J. Rambo would have the strength to defeat a group that large. Of course, I've seen all the Rambo movies, but maybe Chuck Norris could do it too?

Anyway, I'm rather intrigued by swtrooper42's suggestion.

[GDB]

Originally Posted by Roger Rambo

I'm thinking that Haruki will have to regularly fight off half the student body after he Kidnaps Mikuru...starting with Tsuruya.

Tsuruya can take the role of Lilicia. Hating the SOS Brigade (for stealing Mikuru), but secretly falling in love with Haruki herself!