Nanoha FanFiction Discussion

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Nanya01

You think you're talking to a nice person.

I'd like to think that I'm pretty evil.

*Takes Rika-chan to do evil things with her.*

So I guess that time you did evil things to me didn't mean anything then, huh?

EDIT: Pageclaim for evil hidden behind a smile!

[Nanya01]

Originally Posted by Rika23onROOF

(^//////^) I have done lots of evil things in the past that I'm too shy to say it.

But lets just say its involve with a chainsaw, the blood and...oh (~//////~) I'm not telling ya its too embarrasing!

Anyway~ Satashi-sempai how goes the AlternativeS? Hope to see it soon (^/////^)

Awesome, Rika-chan. Awesome

@ RB, I do lots of evil things to you, all the time! *Evil grin*

[Rika23onROOF]

Originally Posted by SulliMike23

*hides behind Satashi from Rika-chan* Yikes! Why is it always the quiet ones?

*blink* Sulli-sempai? Why are you hiding behind Satashi-sempai?

mou~ its not like I'm going to eat you or anything.......................................... ....maybe

[Kurush]

*begins to step away from Rika-chan* I'm not avoiding you, I'm not avoiding you...

[Nanya01]

Rika-chan's a Yandere!

...

Awesome!

[Rising Dragon]

Yeah, I'm the one who she's been looking for. I'm the one who should be hiding.

*goes back to hiding*

[Tempy]

Originally Posted by Rika23onROOF

(^//////^) I have done lots of evil things in the past that I'm too shy to say it.

But lets just say its involve with a chainsaw, the blood and...oh (~//////~) I'm not telling ya its too embarrasing!

Anyway~ Satashi-sempai how goes the AlternativeS? Hope to see it soon (^/////^)

...

I now claim Rika as my imouto.

[Rika23onROOF]

(^//////^)

kurush-sempai! We never introduce ourselves properly didn't we. I'm Rika...

Oh there's Dragon-sempai! I better go now Kurush-sempai~

*walk away*

*stop*

*slowly turn to look at Kurush-sempai with an innocent?smile*

I'm watching you, Kurush-sempai~

*running after Dragon-sempai*

[Nanya01]

*gives Rika-chan a scythe and a black hooded cloak*

Rika-chan the grim reaper!

[Fuyu no Sora]

Huh... now this is interesting...

So, Rika is a yandere? This should be very interesting indeed. *Sit back and calmly sips a double Scotch*

@Satashi: Would you happen to have the original pictures used for AlternativeS?

[00-Raiser]

Originally Posted by deathcurse

The tragedy quotient needs to get upped here

K.

Spoiler:

“I love you, Nanoha, as more than just a friend.”

“Eh?” Nanoha’s body was rocked by the wind that blew past following his confession. The sudden revelation had caught her completely off guard. Yuuno was one of her best friends and she had known him since they were kids, but the possibility had never crossed her mind that he was in love with her. The shock had rendered her unable to formulate a reply.

“You don’t have to give me an answer right away.” He said. “I’ll be gone for a while on a dig, but I hope to hear your answer when I get back.”

By the time she had processed everything, he had already left. She then spent days examining her feelings for the boy. She did care about him deeply and wanted him to remain a constant figure in her life, but she couldn’t decide if she could go beyond friendship or not. She took her time deciphering her emotions, hoping to have an answer for him upon his return.

He never returned.

The temple was over a million years old, they said. The pillars couldn’t support the ceiling anymore, they said. They just unexpectedly gave out, they said. Yuuno was too busy teleporting the others out to save himself, they said. His body had been pummelled beyond recognition, they said. DNA testing confirmed his identity, they said. It was a terrible tragedy, they said. We’re so sorry for your loss, they said. He wouldn’t want you to be sad, they said.

What they said offered no condolence. Nothing could stop the tears as Nanoha stared at his grave.

“I finally have an answer for you, Yuuno-kun.” She whispered into the breeze. “I…”

Did I ever mention how much I love cliches?

Anyways, looking at images and writing short blurbs about them is actually quite relaxing.

[Nijiru]

@Satashi: Nice work showing the beginnings of Alt!Nanoha's psyche cracking. All I noticed was a couple spelling mistakes. I can PM you with them corrected if you'd like.

[Nanya01]

Originally Posted by Nijiru

@Nanya: Nice work showing the beginnings of Alt!Nanoha's psyche cracking. All I noticed was a couple spelling mistakes. I can PM you with them corrected if you'd like.

Uh... I think you mean Satashi, not me.

[Nijiru]

Thanks, my bad.

[Satashi]

Originally Posted by 00-Raiser

Spoiler:

“I love you, Nanoha, as more than just a friend.”

“Eh?” Nanoha’s body was rocked by the wind that blew past following his confession. The sudden revelation had caught her completely off guard. Yuuno was one of her best friends and she had known him since they were kids, but the possibility had never crossed her mind that he was in love with her. The shock had rendered her unable to formulate a reply.

“You don’t have to give me an answer right away.” He said. “I’ll be gone for a while on a dig, but I hope to hear your answer when I get back.”

By the time she had processed everything, he had already left. She then spent days examining her feelings for the boy. She did care about him deeply and wanted him to remain a constant figure in her life, but she couldn’t decide if she could go beyond friendship or not. She took her time deciphering her emotions, hoping to have an answer for him upon his return.

He never returned.

The temple was over a million years old, they said. The pillars couldn’t support the ceiling anymore, they said. They just unexpectedly gave out, they said. Yuuno was too busy teleporting the others out to save himself, they said. His body had been pummelled beyond recognition, they said. DNA testing confirmed his identity, they said. It was a terrible tragedy, they said. We’re so sorry for your loss, they said. He wouldn’t want you to be sad, they said.

What they said offered no condolence. Nothing could stop the tears as Nanoha stared at his grave.

“I finally have an answer for you, Yuuno-kun.” She whispered into the breeze. “I…”

Did I ever mention how much I love cliches?

Anyways, looking at images and writing short blurbs about them is actually quite relaxing.

I do that a lot. I used to do a thing called "A picture is worth a thousand words" Where I would write 1,000 words for a picture someone gave me. Actually, that's how I met Angel :3 She drew a pic and I wrote a fic for it ^_^

nice little short, but the "They said" lasted too long and lost its meaning for me. also the "for his return" and "he never returned" used "return" too fast. I'd reccomend something like "For when he came back..." "But he never did" or "For when he returned." "But he never came back" or so.

Also I don't like the "I..." at the end. I feel like this shouldn't be a "let the reader pick" ending because of the death scene. But hey, if this was a "short" then its just fine the way it is

BTW awesome pic.

Originally Posted by Nijiru

@Satashi: Nice work showing the beginnings of Alt!Nanoha's psyche cracking. All I noticed was a couple spelling mistakes. I can PM you with them corrected if you'd like.

she has to crack sooner or later. Pass on the spelling corrections for now, but thank you very much for offering. All of these are rough drafts and are subject to "spiffing up" when I post on FF.N. Also parts'll be re-written and spell corrected as well

Originally Posted by Fuyu no Sora

@Satashi: Would you happen to have the original pictures used for AlternativeS?

I do, I'll share the link once I get home!

[Fuyu no Sora]

Originally Posted by Satashi

she has to crack sooner or later. Pass on the spelling corrections for now, but thank you very much for offering. All of these are rough drafts and are subject to "spiffing up" when I post on FF.N. Also parts'll be re-written and spell corrected as well

Ah, so this will be posted in FF.net too? Good, good. I'll be looking forwards to the revised version.

Originally Posted by Satashi

I do, I'll share the link once I get home!

Thank you. :3

[00-Raiser]

Originally Posted by Satashi

I do that a lot. I used to do a thing called "A picture is worth a thousand words" Where I would write 1,000 words for a picture someone gave me. Actually, that's how I met Angel :3 She drew a pic and I wrote a fic for it ^_^

nice little short, but the "They said" lasted too long and lost its meaning for me. also the "for his return" and "he never returned" used "return" too fast. I'd reccomend something like "For when he came back..." "But he never did" or "For when he returned." "But he never came back" or so.

Also I don't like the "I..." at the end. I feel like this shouldn't be a "let the reader pick" ending because of the death scene. But hey, if this was a "short" then its just fine the way it is

BTW awesome pic.

Yeah, this is just a short little thing that popped into my head cuz there was a request for some tragedy. Really, 5 hours between classes is a lot of free time. Thanks for the feedback just the same.

And being the Yuunoha shipper I am, there is always only one ending!

Pretty much dumped all my Yuunoha images into an album here on AS, so feel free to take a look. Most of them are pretty old, though. Maybe I'll do some more for other Nanoha images I have on my desktop's hard drive. I've got nothing on this laptop other than some anime.

[TheShinySword]

@Satashi: Not so sure about recent developments for several reasons.
1. I am not terribly fond of stories where I have trouble seeing a happy ending as possible (blame the fact I come from a family of Romance Authors if you must). And before any one pops in with yay badend! I don't mean happily ever after, I count bittersweet as happy endings in my book.
2. Something is still off to me. Really really off, I can't put my finger on it but there's something about the story that bothers me, I'll make sure to tell you if I figure it out.

I'm also jumping the AltS!NanohaxFate Ship, she needs some psychiatric help mmkay. She has self-image issues and thinks she can't function without a lover... what she really needs is Vivio.

She also definitely does not need AltS!Fate or AltS!Alicia or any form of Fate at all. True love bullshit be damned she needs to find her own love, there's no reason she can't love someone else.

However I'm still very suspicious of Fate. I really don't think Fate is who she thinks she is. (Watch Satashi write a part in the Original!Nanoha world just to spite me for this) Maybe Fate is someone made by Scaglietti, maybe she's a figment of their crazed imaginations, no matter what I don't think it's as simple as, somehow Fate popped into their world all quinky dinkaly. It's the dream world in reverse, the world she thought was real is false, the world that is nothing but a bad dream to her is her reality.


And I blame my current english class for making me think so deeply into everything.

[BPHaru]

Originally Posted by TheShinySword

She also definitely does not need AltS!Fate or AltS!Alicia or any form of Fate at all. True love bullshit be damned she needs to find her own love, there's no reason she can't love someone else.

I think of this as in Tsubasa universe: Nanoha or any of the other characters are the same in any universe, they've the same soul, and they may be different due to different circumstances, but they're in essence the same being. If Nanoha was fated to get together with Fate in the original/primary universe, probably we can say that she was fated to fall for her in this alternative universe as well, but the problem is that supposedly the original Fate from this universe died, so we have some free drama guaranteed for us as we're seeing the the latest chapters of this fic.

From this point of view "AltS!Nanoha" may be the same that the one from the original/canon universe, and even if I think that this Nanoha deserves to be happy as much or more than her alternate self, I think that the right choice is for Fate to return with her family and the one she loves.

By the way, Satashi, thanks for updating with another great chapter, the last part was very emotive. Good job.

Now going back to work...

Saludos

[Keroko]

Having the same soul doesn't mean they 'have' to find the same love, this Nanoha has experienced a different world, and could easily find a different love, simply because she isn't the same Nanoha.

Rather than the 'all worlds are mirrored' theory, I'm more of a 'butterfly effect' theory fan. To see how one change can effect a world and it's people so drastically.