2008-06-07, 10:50 | Link #961 | |||||||||||||||||||
Love Hina?
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Kangaroos live in my backyard =P
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Right, As usual, time for to address the backlog.
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On the spell list, the majority of them are fine, however: Quote:
All, in all, pretty good for a first attempt, although some things could be tweaked a little. Leaving out the hard numbers will help, since in theory any spell is capable of killing as long as it’s physical damage and not magical damage. Quote:
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- Is there a reason for the differing surnames of the family? Seems rather weird. Divorced parents? - Hmm, not much else to comment on Come back with a spell list and we’ll see what we can do then. But feel free to use the thread to bounce ideas off. Quote:
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Very nice piece though. Good family antics! Good luck with the new semester’s work! Quote:
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Part 2: Nicely written battle sequence This guy is awesome in all accounts. I’m going to have a look at their profiles again once I get the time. *hands cookies* Quote:
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No problems with the spells, the explanations after each of them have enough detail so that I don’t have any additional questions. Just with Excaliber, what sought of effects are we talking about? Hospitalisation? Device rebuilds? Or less severe? Your new canon concept is interesting, although obviously there are things that will have to be ironed out. While I applaud you for taking this step, I would urge you to consider what the others are saying as you go about the creation of your AU timeline. You don’t have to take everything on board but what they have to say is going to be of some help in shaping the direction of the AU timeline. Like Keroko, I personally don’t see anything majorly wrong with what you’re proposing. While we have been pretty much sticking to canon, (even if at times we’ve been cursing the idiocy of the writers) there’s no reason why you can’t alter it like you’re planning to. May I remind everyone in the OC thread that we’re allowed to do anything that we want. Cort’s moving into a different canon line, it won’t affect what you’re currently doing in the present. It is officially another AU line so there’s no reason at all to jump down his throat for what he’s suggesting. Essentially, just do what Kha suggested a few posts back and just post the start of this. We can go through it later and help point out any discrepancies if they come up. --- Sigh, more posts before this goes up.-- Cort's writing an AU. Hammer that into your heads everyone. AN AU! Yes I know that the rest of us write OC's (and all other things) following canon. That's no reason to start the flaming. Just ignore the posts instead so that the rest of us can get back to reading the thread in relative peace (well as peaceful as it gets ) |
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2008-06-07, 10:54 | Link #962 |
物語は、もう、おしまい……?
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In the Horizon
Age: 43
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Dropping in to throw a random thought.
We all know Jail's backup plan involving making babies that will carry on his mind/memories/will. What if Jail himself is one such child to begin with, and has other "siblings"? Which may explain the scion of Al Hazred in a way, if he is but part of a long line of back-up children aimed at preserving royal personality(?). One problem I foresee with this idea (other than having the Silver Retriever and/or the Ion Canon breaking it to smittereens) is that why we are thus shown with only Jail himself and not the other scions. Possible answers could be: 1) Jail and his merry brood were not created by the TSAB originally, but was perhaps what we can call a private enterprise. This privacy was invaded by the TSAB, and the brood was scattered, with the High Council securing only Jail. 2) The House of Jail was a TSAB pet project and Jail is the "youngest" member of the lot. His elder siblings proved to be more troublesome than expected and after eliminating these fellows, the High Council decided to keep a very much tighter grip on Jail, who wisely played along. 3)..... Whatever Nighty and Lowe can come up with . *re-lurks* Edit: And I almost forgot.... Kha.... DO NOT BURN BOOKS. Not until you have a copy of them all somewhere convenient of course.
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2008-06-07, 10:57 | Link #963 |
Residential Nutcase
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Outer Cadia
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Well Coma, your idea isn't exactly bad. Its just that the execution of it isn't done in a believable way. The others do raise some valid points despite the irritation they've shown. In their own way, they're trying to help you write a better and more believable story. If your reader has to suspend their belief to read your stuff, you have pretty much failed as a writer unless you're writing humor.
Personally I think they have set the level a little too high but that could be due to the fact most writers here have produced rather good and somewhat high level pieces of work. I suggest you look at this calmly and think of what everyone has said so far. @Liingo: You'll get the video once I can convince ATC to make it. |
2008-06-07, 11:08 | Link #965 | |
Truth Martyr
Author
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Doing Anzu's paperwork.
Age: 38
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Let me rewrite that and then explain for you, Keroko. I am not in the best of moods after spending a 12-hour shift dealing with morons and the scum of the paying public as well as morons in the call center who, like Comartemis, refuse to listen. Even when they are wrong. Let's leave that aside and get to the essay. Now, Comartemis is saying that RF6 is going to wow everyone that they will all fall over and worship the aces. We have seen from history, and human nature, however, that this is not true. The British Special Air Service are the most sucessful special operations unit in the world, and have a great many detractors. The US Army's elite Delta Force, the supersecret counterterrorist team, went through a rocky start: despite having similar levels of backing and support as did Hayate, Delta was nearly closed several times by Army brass who disliked the fact that special forces were upsetting the status quo. The same thing happened with the US Navy's SEAL Team Six, which was a maritime counterterrorist unit; the regular Navy hated SEAL Team Six and kept trying to close it down for a long time. (In fact they suceeded in doing so: SEAL Team Six was disbanded in 1991. It was, however, quietly restarted under the name of Naval Special Warfare Development Group.) In the 1980s, the US Air Force was doing all it could to kill the idea of special operations, so much that it was actively sabotaging the 21st Special Tactics Squadron, the only special operations unit in the US Air Force. One of the more spectacular times was when 21st STS had to deploy to Panama for Operation Just Cause... and the USAF cargo plane that was supposed to take them took off without them. What is the point? The point is this. It is unreasonable to expect that RF6 will wow everyone. RF6 is the new kid on the block. It is upsetting everyone's status quo. It is grabbing people from here and there. It is being led by a GIRL, and not only that, a CRIMINAL. And RF6 is going to wow everyone and everyone loves them? The crew of the USS Enterprise-D loved Ensign Mary Sue this much as well, as some who are old enough to recall will remember. This has nothing to do with the military. It has everything to do with human nature. We humans don't like it when someone shows us up, when a noob shows up and does better than us. This has happened before to units made of mundane people. How do you think the rest of the Bureau is going to react to being shown up by a bunch of girls? Hell look at Ghost in the Shell: Section Nine is badass, and they keep getting fucked over by politics. And Aramaki is an experienced wheeler and dealer. Consider that. As for yanking the girls out of RF6? Setup for drama. GF brass gets jitterry and decides to overreact by yanking Nanoha and Fate out. From there we have a number of branching points. 1) NanoFate go like good GF soldiers. 2) NanoHayaFate mass togther, limiter all release, and proceed to show GF brass why you do NOT fuck with the Aces. These are just two rough general outlines and there's actually more ways to develop this but I'm tired and my eyes hurt so I'm not going to bother and anyway I'm writing things in a different direction. Though really as stormturmoil pointed out in IRC (you really should come in here at times), GF would he rubbbing their hands with glee at getting 3 aces. The problem is that they don't want all that firepower massing together. Also, Keroko, with regards to the hypocrisy of the military geeks who have made the TSAB more restrictive than it is in canon: show me where I have done so. In fact we actually don't know if TSAB discipline is just relaxed at RF6; note that many special forces units in the world are very relaxed about such military details. Hell the OFM go DRINKING TOGETHER. And PARTYING WILDLY. And ERICK JOINS IN. If that's restrictive... i dunno what is. And Franz is always being punished with more paperwork instead of more appropriate punishments. But really, the whole crux of this is simple: We're interested in how Comartemis will carry out his plans. We'd just like him to at least listen and remember that commonsense still applies to dealing with people. That said I will make a conscious effort to tone down the abare and approach his stuff with an open mind. I would like you all to note, however, that I have not been frothing at the mouth or going abare, which is generally a good sign. Also as regards to something Comartemis said on Hayate's political capital: If you want her to have political capital, she's going to be shafted in the deployment, comar. Political capital is only built up through years of wheeling and dealing and office politics: this was pretty much what killed Colonel Charlie Beckwith's career; he spent so much time in the field he neglected political powerplays and got shafted out of becoming the first head of the US Special Operations Command.
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2008-06-07, 11:13 | Link #966 |
~ I Do ~
Author
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In the XV-8A Spartan "00"
Age: 38
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One thing I learnt about human nature though, common sense isn't really common after all. How else can I see things one way and somebody else see things in another?
Goose we know that you've specialized into this so much that you can read it from the back of your mind. But like the out-of-universe references we do, there is an imperative to explain every detail. Only now do I vaguely see your point. Talking to you just makes me stoop to your level. It's sad.
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2008-06-07, 11:19 | Link #967 | |||
Truth Martyr
Author
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Doing Anzu's paperwork.
Age: 38
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Though another reason is because you're Khracked. Nobody expects you to see things the way we do. [/me pokes] [Goose has poked Kha for xxxxx EXP] Quote:
I'll simplify it further: this is something proven by observation by researchers: People do not like it at all when new kids on the block show them up. For the Bureau to be wowed by RF6, even the people who RF6 inadvertandly made to look bad, is unrealistic and counter to human nature. Show up somebody and they will dislike you, simple as that. Quote:
*Me cackles madly with the insanity derived from exactly 4 hours of sleep in 48 hours* |
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2008-06-07, 11:24 | Link #968 |
Lightning Devil
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ok the fiction i am writing about Karu, well lets say i will clear all of it about, everything will be clear, once the chapters are out, things will be clear out.
there something else, the title i had choose for the story has nothing to do with games.
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2008-06-07, 11:26 | Link #969 |
Truth Martyr
Author
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Doing Anzu's paperwork.
Age: 38
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Don't worry too much about clarity; some stories write themselves. Five Minutes, forexample, basically only had one scene planned out with clarity: Franz vs Nanoha, Divine Buster vs Divine Buster Extension. Everything else sorta wrote themselves. Hell Psycho/Leena wrote themselves
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2008-06-07, 11:34 | Link #970 | |||||
Love Hina?
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Kangaroos live in my backyard =P
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ATC Get to work NOW!!!!! Quote:
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2008-06-07, 11:35 | Link #971 | |||||||
Adeptus Animus
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Age: 36
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Make one, and I'll see what I can do.
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Though I think he'd get along reasonably well with Tesla, concidering her high amount of patience. Quote:
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Spoiler for IS: Silver Retriever:
Looks like Nighty's theory's were right after all. Quote:
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Spoiler for IS: Silver Retriever:
People are wowed by RF6. Comar's idea may be exagerated, but the core of it is entirely justified. *still working on he rest of the post* |
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2008-06-07, 11:36 | Link #972 | ||||||||||||||
Loveable Jerk
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Last edited by Tk3997; 2008-06-07 at 11:55. |
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2008-06-07, 11:44 | Link #975 | |||
He Who Smites Shippers
Join Date: Mar 2008
Age: 36
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Take Yuuno for example. The poor guy basically exists as a foil for Nanoha, to bring out and display her character traits in the early part of the show. Firstly there’s his role as the instigator of the whole thing, the pseudo-mentor figure who teaches Nanoha about magic and gives her RH. For the first few episodes, he’s basically nothing but the talking animal sidekick, and every other thing he says is meant to show some quality of Nanoha’s. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, this is all my fault” gives Nanoha the chance to show how willing she is to help out, which is the single biggest difference which separates her from her predecessors. “Oh wow, Nanoha can transform without the incantation” shows what kind of natural skill she has, followed closely by “Holy shit! Divine Buster!” Once Fate and Arf show up, Yuuno has already started to fade into the background, taking the role of a counter to Arf’s presence and keeping Nanoha from getting tag-teamed. From this point onwards, the focus is almost entirely on Nanoha and Fate because Yuuno has served his purpose, something that becomes more and more clear as the series progresses into A’s and StrikerS. Quote:
As for everyone commenting on the timeline problems, particuarly Goose: I am already in the process of hammering out the problems mentioned with the common sense and brainstorming ways to feasibly get around it. My biggest idea at present is going back to the A’s epilogue and having Hayate join the navy instead of the ground forces, which introduces her to an OC captain who’s basically the TSAB’s version of General George S. Goddamn Patton. Where things go from here is anybody’s guess at the moment, but the most likely situation is something occuring during the timeskip which thrusts the Aces into the public spotlight in a very big and very heroic way. The military may not like the new kids on the block, but so far as the masses are concerned, they may as well be real-life superheroes, and as ATC pointed out to me, public support can be an extremely powerful weapon if it’s used right, especially in the political arena.
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2008-06-07, 11:47 | Link #976 |
~ I Do ~
Author
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In the XV-8A Spartan "00"
Age: 38
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Perspectives Goose. Backgrounds, upbringing, life experiences, everything and anything, will affect one's perspective. My foundation module about Clinical Practice (FCP) is almost always about that. The rule of thumb is to not bury it in jargon. However, after 6 years talking with colleagues, hell even just after the first year, I lose the ability to explain what happens in your gut in simple terms; it becomes natural to use jargon. Be humble and correct it, not go Abare and escalate. Because another rule of human nature: Escalation IS human nature, and any wish that the other side is never gonna escalate means you are talking to god. And when escalation happens you only have yourself to blame really, so stop making it worse.
And you want to know why your "milder" posts get deleted because of flamebaiting? My suspicions are confirmed; your posts do exactly that, bait flames. I'm stating facts while putting on as straight a face as I can manage, you are throwing in insults and taunts and matters that is just ribbing but given the context, do the exactly the opposite. Can you blame the guy for flat out turning down your meaningful points and block out your message? I am not your mother, Goose. I don't have to teach you these things. But lately your behavior has been less than satisfactory in the thread, and sorry to declare that as it was with others that I shall not name, I have judged you to be one of the sources of conflict in this thread. I know not of the best method to intervene; my action might cause more bitter reaction than it is now; but I certainly cannot just standby and do nothing. For better or for worse, here I go. It's over Goose. I have the higher ground; any more struggles will only be worse for us. Oh and Tk, you're lower down on the threat list for now. Hope you don't mind me not ranting at you yet. Just had to mention this to be fair since Goose pushed me past point but you haven't and after my experiences here, I better not assume the best.
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2008-06-07, 11:49 | Link #977 | |||||
Truth Martyr
Author
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Doing Anzu's paperwork.
Age: 38
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All this bias against comartemis can be argued the other way, ya know. Quote:
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As for why I use the US military... practicality. More works are written on the US military than any other military in the world. Quote:
Also, Keroko, it is possible to wow people, and yet because you're in a unit/organisation that is making the people you'd normally wow look bad, your ability to wow them drops. This has happened to me in real life. That said the basic core is, I agree, justified; even in the real world people are wowed by the SAS and Delta Force. It's the execution that was causing the headdesking. Both the SAS and Delta Force took time to build up to the point when they were wowing loads of people, which is exactly how things happen: it takes time to build up a rep. You don't build it overnight.
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2008-06-07, 11:52 | Link #978 | |||
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Philippines
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Actually, I'd like to scream at you all (for most of those involved) for being such stubborn and hotblooded people. You made Cadia Zwei cry just now... Cadia Zwei: <cried herself to sleep> >.> Listen... I take away the matters and will start looking at the people involved. 1) Comartemis: Remember one of our conversations about ignoring most comments? It's not very healthy to ignore all of them, though. I am gonna take up a stand to ease up on the flak here. But I want results from you as well. Okay? 2) Quote:
As much as I appreciate your input which is very relevant most of the time. You have just stepped over the line. TAKE. BACK. THAT. COMMENT. NOW. Quote:
The OC is meant to be more than just that. I don't think we have to start this little vicious cycle just because you don't like a person or a person doesn't agree with you. Quote:
Now. How about YOU and anybody else with the same viewpoint LISTEN that he is making an AU and needn't be too specific with worldly rationalities?! He should listen more, I agree. But I think you should listen more too! You're right, he's wrong? You're wrong, he's right? I think all of you have done something wrong. And I don't think that you are all very willing to admit it. That's why I'm here. And all of you needs to cool off your heads and be more receptive. ALL (to those involved) of you! Listen... Honestly, I'm not too cool with Comartemis' idea too. But that doesn't mean I have to bash him more than necessary. And for God's sake, you and your side also needs an attitude adjustment. If you TRIED being less violent about the approach?! You have issues IRL? Well, like what Lowe said to Reiji in the old thread, SUCK IT UP and don't bring it here. Same applies for those who dislike Coma. (You people know who you are. And yes, hating a person is an IRL matter.) You have to cater to a bunch of thickheaded idiots in real life? IT. DOES. NOT. CONCERN. THE. OC. THREAD. AND. YOU. WILL. NOT. USE. IT. AS. AN. INAPPROPRIATE. OUTLET. This situation is indeed trouble. And lots of rationales and stubbornness on both sides. But I must plead with you people to PLEASE TONE DOWN ON YOUR ATTITUDES!!! The goal's you are arguing for is not gonna be reached like this! What's happening is that OUTER CADIA ZWEI IS BECOMING A WARZONE OF HOTHEADED IRRATIONALITY!!! Rationale, no matter how correct, is now being used for such arguments. But no matter how correct your arguments are, if it is not done properly, it will only cause unnecessary trouble. To summarize a point, I DO NOT CARE IF ANY OF YOU PEOPLE'S REASONINGS ARE RIGHT OR WRONG. IF YOU CANNOT PRESENT THEM CALMLY AND CIVILLY ENOUGH, THEN THEY WON'T DO ANY GOOD. AT LEAST TRY TO GET ALONG BETTER, PLEASE?! IF THIS CONTINUES IN THE WRONG DIRECTION ANY FURTHER, THEN I WILL TAKE ACTION ACCORDINGLY. MAKING THIS MATTER WORSE WILL NOT BE TOLERATED. That's it. The report buttons have never looked so appealing to press right now.-_- Really, do people have to keep making life difficult for everyone? Coma, listen a bit more, please. Hopefully, they would be less scathing now. And you don't have to follow everything, you just need to receive them at a calmer way. Goose, I said what I wanted. Now, if you wanna continue this argument with your attitude further, let us talk in PM or IRC. NOT HERE. Meeting adjourned. Any further unneeded arguments will be taken to PM's or IRC. No buts.
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Last edited by Aaron008R; 2008-06-07 at 21:09. |
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2008-06-07, 12:04 | Link #980 |
The Resurrector
Author
Join Date: Sep 2007
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Came back after a day's absence (discounting lurking), and found myself a big one ...
In one of the many cases, I'd go with Keroko and Kha on this one. Comartemis's ideas (#925) aren't totally out-of-place. What he basically do is just tweak the condition there a little. True, the canon fact is that Riot Force Six is disbanded, but there is nothing holding him back from remaking a Riot Force Six again (I'm lost about the timeline where Comartemis plans his fic, so I'm under the presumption that it's after StrikerS, sorry about that). He could even use any amount of plot device to pull Riot Force Six back again, and make it permanent. His ideas in that quoted post pretty much makes it possible, though it looks like it's slotted during the formation. Either way, it looks quite all right. The only difference in how he handles the plot of the formation of his unit against my Escutcheon (which basically is the same resurrection of Riot Force Six) is that he's planning to put it under Chrono's command. With enough reasons, I don't think that's impossible, with Regius out of the picture. Some say that placing all three Aces under a single command is going to make the higher-ups cringe from a possible revolution. That's a possibility that no one can deny. But, if they're really planning a coup d'etat, they do not wait until today to execute their plan, do they? Seriously, if they're really planning that, they risk alienating themselves from Chrono, Lindy, Leti, etc. who helped them so much. Fate, of all people, would be suffering a lot, and in Nanoha and Hayate's best interest, they wouldn't do that to their friend (though I must say this is quite a powerful drama tool ). The Aces may not be trusted by the Bureau, but we can trust them not to suddenly run amok with radicalism. If they really hate the Bureau that much, they could've quit it much earlier (their dreams have been outlined in the manga, after all, with Nanoha being fervent enough to become an Air Force Instructor). Comartemis wasn't actually saying that he'd abolish the bureaucracy entirely, he was just saying that he didn't want the militarism to be so heavy. I think that's fine, because that's what he's good at. Not everyone can write realistic militarism exceptionally (points to myself, included), so reducing its presence is a viable choice. P/S: And yeah, I find X/1999 to be one of the greatest anime ever produced. One man's meat is another man's poison. One man's trash is another man's treasure. There isn't anything limiting anyone to his or her particular choice but he himself. |
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hayaurion, kaonland, keroland, khrack, original content |
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