Wow, I didn't think I was gone for long enough for so many pages to be added to the thread!
Anyway, here's my fanfic:
Spoiler for Fanfic title: Cosmic Irony:
I'm not sure when the thought first crossed my mind. I feel like it must have been one of those times when Haruki deemed it necessary to throw me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and carry me to wherever his warpath lead next... but really, it could have been at any point when I felt humiliated and belittled by his actions. Which is dreadfully often, sadly.
So how would everything have turned out, I wonder, if things were reversed? What if I were the tall, strong male - one with common sense, mind you - and Haruki were the "weaker sex"?
It's hard to imagine Haruki as a girl. I wonder if she'd be any calmer? Any more reasonable? Proper girls aren't supposed to act so boldly! Haruki, however, has never been one to follow convention, and I suppose his female self would see no reason to, either. Terrifying.
Either way, surely I wouldn't let myself be pushed around by her. I'd be bigger and stronger, and no matter how ridiculous her powers, there's no way she'd be able to drag a physically fit (in no small part due to the steep climb to school) teenaged male across the school. No way.
Which means that I'd be free of Haruki's silly SOS Brigade. Glorious freedom!
Oh, if only.
Now, it's not healthy to let such ridiculous thoughts fester in one's mind, and with no slider to confide in (this does not, by any means, imply that I hope for Haruki to wrangle one up!), I brought the idea up to Nagato-kun. I expected him to immediately dismiss it without even glancing up from his book, so I was caught somewhat off-guard when he actually fixed his gaze on me and just stared for a good three-quarters of a minute. Just as I was about to call it off as a joke (because it was awfully hard not to squirm uncomfortably with him looking at me like that), he gave a short, brisk answer and turned back to his novel.
"It is possible."
I kind of thought I saw a weird kind of... twinkle in his eyes as he turned away, but I figure it must have been my imagination. I mean, the alien-created humanoid interface had never shown much of any motion before, so why would he at such a silly little suggestion...? Strange.
Well, maybe such a universe does exist somewhere. I can honestly say that, after all I've been through, I wouldn't be surprised. So, to my counterpart with the Y-chromosome who may or may not exist somewhere out there, I offer to you the following message:
I wish you all the best, and I hope that at least you are free of that ridiculous nickname.
My friend dared me to upload that to fanfiction.net last night, just to see what kind of reactions it would get from the folk who hang around there. Sure enough, my first review was some crap about sexual predation. Weird.
Annnnnd the Kyonko sketch, along with a quick coloring job (which I don't like nearly as much).
Spoiler for Kyonko~:
Didn't feel like drawing her legs. :B
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kang Seung Jae
No problem. Your drawing skills are worthy of starting a 4-koma series.
I'm flattered! But sadly, I tend not to have the attention span to draw even 4-komas. I draw one panel, then get bored and go off to do something else... and nothing ever gets done. XD
I believe Itsuko is the best in our series. Impressive for high school only though. Who knows what she'll be like as a full fledged woman.
And all you guys are beyond broken.
Broken? Please explain.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon
Mm, Itsuko, I'd think.
Taniguchi and Kunikida are about average.
The Student Council President might be bigger than Itsuko, though.
Large breasts make me sad. T_T
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antenor
Kyonko looks like Shana in that one... not that I'm complaining.
Looks like I am broken after all, but I think it was Shana that did it.
How did I forget Shana? And Isumi and Chiaki...Actually, Chiaki's too young. Probably.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kagedanji
Wimpato Yuuki makes me sad.
There are things not meant to be changed.
Nagato Yuki, timid moe book girl who was known to be the silent inhuman badass. That was total win, nosebleed, tears, and rejoice.
Nagato Yuuki, timid glasses man equivalent to Mikuru, who was known to be the silent macho inhuman badass,
...
...
Equivalent to Mikuru? Mikuru sucks!
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChrissieXD
"Dear Diary,
It's Monday, and I hate all Mondays. No more comfortable and fashionable clothes allowed for a week. I'm stuck in this ugly school uniform, which fails in all ways at warming me up. The skirt line is all too high, and the wind just chills me. Then again, if the skirt like was just a little bit higher I could get a couple fanservice shots of Itsuko. On the other hand, she gives me those when I ask anyways.
I can't say that the SOS brigade meeting today was anything of note. Itsuko and I talked about the newest fashions while playing Othello while Haruki was trying to get Minoru to crossdress again. Honestly, what about that boy in a maid costume is so appealing? I mean, you have two girls here, and one of us has reasonably sized breasts. Wouldn't you rather have that?
Oh, and diary, you'll never believe this! Some girl from another school sent a love letter to Yuuki! She wants him to come see her dance recital and meet with her afterwards. See, she called me early in the day, asking for my acquaintance with him. And then she wanted me to deliver a letter... Ooh, it was so embarressing writing those words! "I can provide you with everything you need. Just say the word, and I won't stop at anything." Since when was that girl such a slut?
Well, diary, my fingernail paint is getting a little chipped, so I'm off to fix that. See you soon!
sorry if i missed it... <_<
but with the thread growing 2-3 pages every 12 hours.. it's near impossible to keep track at all...
also... about shamisen...
One of the reason why shamisen was "chosen" and "wierd" (like everyone except kyon) is that as calico cats are almost always FEMALE due to something about the X cromosone... meaning male calico, while not impossible, is very rare.
i'm trying to look for something similar in wikipedia but reversed instead (something that's prominent in male cats but rare or impossible for a female cat)
EDIT
gah! there's none!
it's always about that X chromosome...
One of the reason why shamisen was "chosen" and "wierd" (like everyone except kyon) is that as [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tortoiseshell_cat]calico cats[url] are almost always FEMALE due to something about the X cromosone... meaning male calico, while not impossible, is very rare.
i'm trying to look for something similar in wikipedia but reversed instead (something that's prominent in male cats but rare or impossible for a female cat)
EDIT
gah! there's none!
it's always about that X chromosome...
I've heard that female tabbies are very rare.
EDIT: After some quick googling, it seems that that applies to orange tabby cats, and about 75% of them are male. So female orange tabbies aren't as rare as male calicoes, but still pretty rare.
Hello all. I decided to start my contribution with the film, because it had the fewest characters. Haruki is mentioned once, Kyonko is a passive narrator, and the other three brigade members are acting assigned roles. I've broken the file into a few pieces for ease in viewing.
There are still a few unanswered questions that need to be addressed:
I have made a small alteration to the rule of "All characters will be genderswapped" in order to still have women shopping during the day for food. Of course, now there might actually be a draw with a shota chippendale advertising food . Again, I have no problem switching this. Perhaps if he is advertising in front of a male-oriented shop (electronics)?
Japanese feminization of names: The grocer's name- Morimuri Kiyosumi. And the stationary store owner's name- Suzuki Yuusuke. I'm deferring to those with better judgment of Japanese names.
I used [] when I was unsure how to phrase something, or to quote the original, or to give options. Edits especially welcome here. e.g. I wasn't sure just how catty to make Kyonko. [[]] are simply my comments.
Edited From: Baka-Tsuki
Genderbent by: colorado storms
First draft
Note: I used [ ] when I was unsure how to phrase something, or to quote the original. Edits especially welcome here. (e.g. I wasn't sure just how catty to make Kyonko) [[ ]] are simply my comments.
And so, my first school festival in high school has ended frantically together with the seasonal change, yet the lively atmosphere of the festival still echoed inside Haruki's mind, and behind that echo were all sorts of promotional posters that read, "Book your pre-order tickets now", "This movie will rock Hollywood (very soon)", "One year to conceive, and (less than) one month to complete shooting".
Anyway, he said he was already in the process of making the second movie, scheduled to be shown at the next school festival. There's a limit for [his [are we talking about his?]] impatience, you know.
He should consider my feelings as well. I just barely managed to carry all that heavy equipment to its destination, and was about to finally go home and get some rest, and yet there was even more stuff for me to carry. Right now I feel like I’m escorting a certain male protagonist home on a path full of predators, always having to worry when a Bengal tiger [of a fangirl][(that is to say, a fangirl)] would strike at us. This is all thanks to the movie which was shown not long ago, as it was simply too overwhelming.
As for how overwhelming it was, you'll just have to read on......
Asahina Mitsuru's Adventure Episode 00
His name is Asahina Mitsuru. At first glance, he seems like a normal, healthy and cute young guy, yet he is really a time traveler from the future. If you happen to know someone called "Asahina Mitsuru" somewhere else, that's simply a coincidence, just wanted to let you know.
Anyway, Asahina Mitsuru's true identity is a battle waiter from the future. Why does the waiter have to come from the future? And why did he have to dress up as a waiter? Asking such insignificant questions is meaningless, all I can say is, that's how the story is set. In fact, not a single character here has a valid raison d'etre.
......This is all decided by someone from somewhere high up above.
For now, let us secretly observe this Asahina Mitsuru.
Normally he would dress up as a chippendale, since this happens to be part of Mitsuru's daily life, which involves attracting customers to visit the local shopping street. Every night, he would change into his costume, and carry a large plastic placard in front of the stores and advertise for them with his shy voice. In other words, this is what normal people would call a job.
As he came all the way from the future, he ought to be able to make money more efficiently, but since this story is created without any consideration for those matters, I might as well let everyone know about this before you get your hopes up too early.
This means that this battle waiter from the future’s normal routine involves dressing up as a chippendale.
Before anyone asks if there's a meaning in dressing like that, I'd also like to inform you that you'll probably never find out the answer till the end. In other words, it is meaningless. Even if there is a meaning, it is most likely the mystery would never be solved. If it can't be solved, it's pretty much meaningless as well. It makes no difference whatsoever.
Today Asahina Mitsuru was again dressed in his hot chippendale costume and waving a plastic placard in front of the stores, and helping the owners make ends meet.
"Everyone please stop by! We have new supplies of fresh cabbage for today! And there's a limited sale! For the next hour, each cabbage will be at half price! The lady over there, don't delay!"
Mitsuru can be seen shouting with a stiff voice while standing in front of the grocery. The loose cuffs on his wrists are swinging back and forth, and the [light from the setting sun filtering through the buildings][pale fluorescent light between the buildings] was shining off his smooth chest. Most of the grocery customers are middle-aged housewives, so getting a cute boy to advertise was unsurprisingly effective (dirty old women!). Combine this with the sight of Mitsuru sincerely working hard to advertise and he has already moved thousands of hearts, and everyone who passes by the grocery smiles pleasantly, and naturally they don't mind parting with their money.
"Mitsuru-kun, you're energetic today as well,"
This deadpan dialogue was read out by a bystander, as Mitsuru revealed his bright red sunflower smile,
"Thank you! I'll do my best!"
The cosplay guy who worked too hard replied and continued to spread his innocent charm at the shopping street.
He has the magical ability to alter a customer's menu for tonight's dinner from a simple cabbage into a vegetable hot pot! His charm is coupled with this amazing sentence:
"Hurry up and get them while supplies last!"
The grocery immediately became packed with people. In a short while, all the discounted cabbages were sold.
Mitsuru was then summoned by the grocery owner, Morimuri Kiyosumi-san (age 46), who gave him an envelope with his salary in it,
"You've always come to help us out. This isn't much, but please take it,"
Mitsuru received the envelope from Morimura-san's hands, which were weathered by many years of blood and sweat, and said,
"Don't mention it. You're being too generous, I'm always being looked after by you, since this is all that I can do......"
Mitsuru bowed and thanked her, he's been a very humble guy ever since the beginning. He stuffed the envelope into his low-cut pants and said,
"I've got to help out the butcher's next, so please excuse me. See you later!"
Mitsuru carried his plastic placard and ran along the shopping street. He has now become the irreplaceable mascot of this shopping street and is very popular with the residents here.
Best of luck, Mitsuru! Pull back all the customers who have been snatched away by the Wal-Mart a few blocks away since it opened last year. The fate of the local community and the small personal shops all rest on your shoulders.
......One is tempted to recite [encourage him with] the above paragraph when looking at his back.
Spoiler for Part 2/8:
However, Mitsuru didn't travel back in time from the future in order to rescue a local shopping street in decline. His chippendale appearance was simply a cover identity, because remember, he's a battle waiter. Actually, there's not much difference whether he's dressed as a chippendale or as a waiter, but that's how the story is set.
This is because the story is the product of someone's instantaneous random thoughts, and as a result, the plot lacks any planning whatsoever.
So, Mitsuru's real purpose, his true mission, was to secretly protect a young woman.
This young woman is called Koizumi Itsuko. At first glance she looks like a high school student you would find anywhere, but she is actually an esper. If you happen to bump into someone who is also called "Koizumi Itsuko," I'm sure everyone would have guessed by now without me explaining that this is just a coincidence.
Even though she's an esper, Koizumi Itsuko wasn't aware of this herself. It was only by chance that the supernatural powers hidden within her were awakened. Just to be safe, she is currently living the life of a high school student, a life that from a subjective and objective perspective can be defined as normal.
Today, Koizumi Itsuko carried her bag and the usual casual smile on her face as she walked home from school. She would always pass through this shopping street every day on the way to and from school.
"......"
Itsuko was secretly being observed by someone standing in the shadows. From this person's tie and cuffs unattached to any shirt, it is not hard to guess that this is none other than Mitsuru. Normally one wouldn't wear such clothes that would stand out when stalking, but as this was his regular attire, he didn't have much choice.
"Phew,"
Mitsuru sighed deeply. He seems to be relieved that Itsuko seems to be safe for now. He also resembles a kouhai sighing at himself for not having the courage to say hi to the sempai he admires. Just thinking about this [him pining after that girl] is enough to piss me off, so I decided to ignore the latter possibility.
After seeing Itsuko walk away, Mitsuru used a felt-tip pen and wrote on his plastic placard, "100 grams of brisket for only 98 yen (with heart-shaped symbols and cute cow illustrations.)"[[well, from the already-swapped Vol#1, he WAS in the home ec. club, so we can keep it ]] He then looked a bit dejected as he walked in the opposite direction away from Itsuko.
After nodding his head to everyone's greetings along the way, Mitsuru arrived in front of the dimly lit stationery store. The owner of this store, Suzuki Yuusuke-san (age 65), is the president of this shopping district council, and is also the person who provided Mitsuru with his current lodgings.
"Welcome back, Mitsuru-kun. Was the work hard today?"
Suzuki-san spoke in a formal tone as she smiled gently like a kind grandmother while greeting Mitsuru.
"Um...... Not at all. There were a lot of customers today...... Um, it's prosperous, I think that's how you would describe it."
"Good, very good."
After nodding and thanking Suzuki-san, Mitsuru walked up the slightly steep stairs. Passing a narrow corridor, he entered a small Japanese-style bedroom, Mitsuru's current lodging in this time period.
As Suzuki-san herself lived elsewhere, this room was originally unoccupied, I'm not too sure about the details; but anyway, this is where the time-traveler Mitsuru currently lives.
After closing the door, Mitsuru began to slowly take off his chippendale costume. He started with his right cuff, then his left, then slowly reached back and undid his bowtie. As he was unbuckling his pants, sadly, the rest of this very seductive scene was cut. The next scene shows him crawling into his bed, wearing only very loose pants, and that was the end of that scene.
On the other hand, there was someone else observing Koizumi Itsuko with what can only be described as thoughtful eyes.
That person is Nagato Yuuki. While he looks like an extraordinary and exceptional [[really? It’s the original text]] guy, in reality he is an evil alien magician. [As to why he is both a magician(wizard) AND an alien, please bear with the story] This can be figured out by the odd costume he's wearing, a wide-rimmed pointy [top] hat with a large cape over his shoulders. By the way, if you happen to know a similar looking person called "Nagato Yuuki," that's just a coincidence...... though I'm sure you're all sick and tired of hearing that already.
"......"
Carrying a poker face without any emotions in it, Yuuki stood on the roof of a high school building. This high school is the one Itsuko attends, and judging from the scene, this Yuuki seems to be planning something for Itsuko; yet judging from the time this scene was shot, Itsuko has already gone home. In other words, Yuuki is standing on the school's rooftop when Itsuko is no longer at school. Now that's a very awkward cut-in scene.
A while ago in the shopping district, one could tell it was near sunset, yet right now the sun was above Yuuki's head, and the rays are now much stronger. No matter how one tries to hide it, it's not hard to figure out that this scene was filmed during lunch break. This shows how much of a headache the director gives to the editing team when he disregards the continuity of the scenes.
[Unfortunately,] This also applies to all the upcoming scenes as well.
Spoiler for Part 3/8:
As we're running short on time, we now skip to the first battle between Mitsuru and Yuuki without any explanation whatsoever.
For some reason the battle takes place at the forest park. After a meaningless scene of Mitsuru running through flying pigeons, we now come straight to this battle.
Right now he's no longer wearing his chippendale costume, but rather his waiter costume, the pants of which are simply too tight. Mitsuru, whose charm increased tenfold by tying his hair back with a headband [orig: tying her hair into two ponytails][[yes, Kyonko loves the forehead look ]], now carries a rather heavy automatic pistol. In a way, he revealed a sad expression like that of a martyr who is prepared to sacrifice his life. This expression wasn't made under the director's instructions, but was in fact showing the lead actor's genuine feelings.
On the other hand, Nagato Yuuki, cloaked all in black, seemed oblivious to what was going on. He simply stood there and held a magic wand with a star in his hand.
The two young men now stared back and forth at each other in what is supposed to be a [testosterone-loaded] face-off. Mitsuru doesn't seem comfortable with this, perhaps thinking that he wouldn't stand a chance in such a battle?
"Ahh!" [came the almost-impressive-to-a-ten-year-old-girl war cry.][came the war cry which might impress a ten year old girl.][[He is shota, after all.]]
Mitsuru shut his eyes tight and waved his gun blindly as he pulled the trigger. The bullets now flew out of the gun and in Yuuki's direction. Yet most of them didn't even hit their intended target, and whizzed past Yuuki. One could count the number of bullets that reached the target with all five fingers.
Since Yuuki was obviously not going to stand there and become a bullseye, he slowly waved his "Star Ring Inferno," his ridiculously-named wand, and swiftly swept the bullets onto the ground.
"Sob......"
Very quickly, all the bullets have been fired. Silence fell once again on the battlefield,
"V, very well! I'll just have to use my secret attack! Take this......"
It seems rather early to be using his secret attack already. We now see Mitsuru yell cutely [pathetically?] as he threw away his gun and widened his dreamy [orig: beautiful] eyes.
His blue left eye was widely opened as he placed a V-shape finger gesture over his face,
"Mi-Mi-Mitsuru Beam!"
One yell and one blink later, a deadly laser would be fired from that eye of his. The fatal laser would travel at the speed of light and slice through everything that it touches - that's supposed to be the case, but someone wasn't going to allow Mitsuru to succeed.
That person was none other than Nagato Yuuki.
Without any special effects used during filming, Yuuki had moved instantaneously, and blocked the Mitsuru Beam with his right hand. Before the laser could even make a hissing slicing sound, Yuuki had already arrived in front of Mitsuru.
"Kyaa!?"
Mitsuru was startled at the shadow suddenly looming quickly towards him. Yuuki moved in such speed that the sight of his figure has become blurry. He easily grabbed hold of Mitsuru's face and pressed him to the ground,
"Ah...... Na, Nagato-san......!"
The black cloaked Nagato was now sitting on a terrified waiter.
What will happen from now on? What fate awaits Mitsuru? And when will Itsuko be able to make her appearance by chance?
All these questions will be answered eventually after these messages for Oomori Electronics, announced by none other than our two male leads.
Spoiler for Part 4/8:
Welcome back, the movie now resumes with Mitsuru the waiter walking aimlessly along the street.
"I can't believe the Mitsuru Beam didn't work at all...... I must think of something else,"
Mitsuru talked to himself as he walked along the shopping street. Looking tired, he dragged herself back to the stationery store and into his room, which doesn't even have a single decent piece of furniture in sight, and began to change again. After all, he isn't a Power Ranger [Sailor Scout?]; he would have to take off the clothes he's wearing if he is to transform.
When the door reopened, Mitsuru once again reappeared in his chippendale costume, then walked down the stairs looking depressed.
Looks like he still has to work today, regardless of the outcome of the battle. I wonder if he's serious or dense, or just really passionate about his work? The protagonist of this movie is sure going through a lot of tough times, which is kind of similar to Mitsuru's own experience when he made this movie.
At this moment, Koizumi Itsuko, as usual, was walking along the road with a thoughtful [yet somehow vacant] expression on her face.
Ahead of her stood the mysterious dark-cloaked figure - Nagato Yuuki. This time a cat can be seen sticking out her paws and clinging to Yuuki's shoulder. It looks as though the cat is trying to keep her balance more so than Yuuki. As Yuuki was already good at concealing his presence, it came very suddenly when he appeared and blocked Itsuko's path.
Making a startled expression, Itsuko stopped in front of the magician with a cat.
"Who art thou?"
Any simple line was far better than this, but that's what was written on the script, so there was no other choice.
"I am......"
Yuuki paused for a moment, then said,
"A magic-wielding alien."
Itsuko stared at the cat and responded,
"Is that so?"
"Yes."
Yuuki also stared at the cat.
"So how may I help you?"
"You have a hidden power that I want."
"And what if I refuse your request?"
"I must obtain it, even if it means using extreme means."
"What do you mean by extreme means?"
"Like this."
Yuuki waved his "Star Ring Inferno," from which the star-shaped symbol fired a piercing laser as fast as lightning.
"Look out!"
A chippendale leapt out from the side and grabbed hold of Itsuko, and then [cradled her as] they both fell towards the ground. The lightning-fast beam missed its target and disappeared after hitting the electric post.
The sight of Mitsuru's arms wrapped protectively around that woman is enough to infuriate. For some reason, Yuuki did not continue his attack. [I wonder if he is preparing to monologue…]
Mitsuru was now seeing stars as he smacked her head when falling to the ground. Only when Itsuko shook his shoulders did he wave the stars away.
"Ouch......"
Rubbing his head, Mitsuru stood up, then defiantly pointed towards Yuuki and said,
"I won't let you have your way......"
Yuuki looked straight at Mitsuru, then glanced expressionlessly towards the whiskers of the cat sitting on her shoulder, and then returned her gaze towards Mitsuru again and said,
"I will retreat for now. You won't be so lucky next time. Before then, try to think of what to write on your tombstone, for I will show no mercy next time, and will definitely annihilate you."
I don't understand why he wants to give Mitsuru some breathing space. Anyway, after saying that, Yuuki's tall figure slowly walked away.
Itsuko now spoke,
"May I ask, who are you?"
"Eh?"
Mitsuru, who just managed to breathe a sigh of relief, now looked tense again,
"Ah, um...... I'm just a chippendale passing by! That's all! G, good bye!" [[Mitsuru wouldn’t refer to himself as a stripper, so I used Chippendale.]]
He then ran away as though running after Yuuki.
"Just who is he......"
Itsuko looked pointlessly far off into the distance, and the camera also panned up pointlessly towards the white clouds which signals the end of this scene.