Dating

[Haladflire65]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

Heck, currently my best friend is eighteen and she's dating a sixteen-year old. ^^;; Granted, I don't approve of the relationship, but that's another story for another day. >>;;

Yeah, once I had a friend who was in grade 8 and she was supposedly girlfriends with a sixth-grader, who's actually her cousin. I personally found that just plain weird. Didn't tell her that, though... -_-

Now I'm wondering what I can do about the long-distance thing. Maybe we can send each other packages and stuff. I don't really know.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Haladflire65

Now I'm wondering what I can do about the long-distance thing. Maybe we can send each other packages and stuff. I don't really know.

Again, it really depends. Long distance relationships are a lot of time and effort, but they can work if you try hard and really want to make it succeed.

[0utf0xZer0]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

Heck, currently my best friend is eighteen and she's dating a sixteen-year old. ^^;; Granted, I don't approve of the relationship, but that's another story for another day. >>;;

The fact you find this two year age difference noteworthy makes me feelso much better about confessing to a girl four years younger than me.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by 0utf0xZer0

The fact you find this two year age difference noteworthy makes me feelso much better about confessing to a girl four years younger than me.

I'm just saying, it isn't unusual. It's not the age difference that bothers me, it's how they met and what happened afterward that bothers me.

[Timdog]

Originally Posted by Kakashi

I can only see two options here, you either occupy yourself with something that will help you forget about girls (and therefore decrease your average time spent obsessing over them ), or you cut straight to the root of the problem and ask a girl out.

If you're more wanting to do the former, my advice would be to get engrossed in something which you don't associate girls with. The only thing I can think of would be sport, but try something other than studying. Studying will hardly put to rest all the testosterone you're feeling right now.

Even if I occupy myself with something else, it's like I can't get it out of my head. There's always that frustrating feeling back there and sometimes it "bubbles over" and I get really depressed for a bit. It's always there. It actually is screwing with everything I do since I can NOT stop thinking about it, during schoolwork, while exercising, while I'm hanging out with friends, while I'm doing something creative, etc. It's probably just going to be there until I actually get that first kiss/lose my virginity. I know this really isn't normal but I REALLY can't stop obsessing over this issue. It's like my life revolves around it now. I can't enjoy anything anymore because of it. Which I'm sure also ironically ends up affecting my progress with girls as well.

[Kusa-San]

Did you try to see a specialist about your problem ? I mean if you're even depressed because of that you need to see a psychologist or something like that.

[Kakashi]

Originally Posted by Timdog

Even if I occupy myself with something else, it's like I can't get it out of my head. There's always that frustrating feeling back there and sometimes it "bubbles over" and I get really depressed for a bit. It's always there. It actually is screwing with everything I do since I can NOT stop thinking about it, during schoolwork, while exercising, while I'm hanging out with friends, while I'm doing something creative, etc. It's probably just going to be there until I actually get that first kiss/lose my virginity. I know this really isn't normal but I REALLY can't stop obsessing over this issue. It's like my life revolves around it now. I can't enjoy anything anymore because of it. Which I'm sure also ironically ends up affecting my progress with girls as well.

It's odd that something would be able to take over your mind to that extent. I know how it feels to have a girl on your mind a lot, and the feeling of not being able to focus on other tasks because of it, but usually that will get easier to deal with the more I dettach myself from this person.

Normally this will happen with time, and if you're a busy person in general who has obligations other issues will compete for your time and attention.

But in teenage years some are more hormonal than others, and this feeling can be more intense and tricky to handle. All you can do is acknowledge it, get used to it for now, and try to deal with it. Alternatively you can act and get what you want. The best way to do this would be to go to a party, get yourself and a girl drunk, and hey presto - you get rejected and try again until it works.

I would recommend not losing your dignity over this, however.

[Kusa-San]

Originally Posted by Kakashi

The best way to do this would be to go to a party, get yourself and a girl drunk, and hey presto.

If you're calling the best way doing it with a girl you don't know (and be drunk) for your first time...I'm wondering what's the worst way...

[Kakashi]

Originally Posted by Kusa-San

If you're calling the best way doing it with a girl you don't know (and be drunk) for your first time...I'm wondering what's the worst way...

The worst way is rape.

for srs, I'll modify: the most "efficient" way to have sex and kiss a girl is the aforementioned, generally speaking.

[Narona]

Originally Posted by Timdog

Even if I occupy myself with something else, it's like I can't get it out of my head. There's always that frustrating feeling back there and sometimes it "bubbles over" and I get really depressed for a bit. It's always there. It actually is screwing with everything I do since I can NOT stop thinking about it, during schoolwork, while exercising, while I'm hanging out with friends, while I'm doing something creative, etc. It's probably just going to be there until I actually get that first kiss/lose my virginity. I know this really isn't normal but I REALLY can't stop obsessing over this issue. It's like my life revolves around it now. I can't enjoy anything anymore because of it. Which I'm sure also ironically ends up affecting my progress with girls as well.

I am a blunt person, so don't read this if you know you will dislike my comment

Spoiler for I warned you:

That sounds kind of pathetic.

To be obsessed to that extend, I am not a boy so maybe most boys your age are like you, but you really go far. You might want to try to consult a psychiatrist? There's no shame in doing it.

[Kakashi]

He's trying dammit, and psychiatrists are expensive.

[Kusa-San]

Humm I think the first step is to talk to this to your parent, then ask them if you can see a psychologist. Serioulsy, I'm more for a psychologist than a psychiatrist. So try first a psychologist and if it doesn't work then go see a psychatrist.

[Narona]

Originally Posted by Kakashi

He's trying dammit, and psychiatrists are expensive.

Ah... In france there's the social insurance for the people who consult...

It might happen in the USA too if Obama's Healthcare plan passes

Originally Posted by Kusa-San

Humm I think the first step is to talk to this to your parent, then ask them if you can see a psychologist. Serioulsy, I'm more for a psychologist than a psychiatrist. So try first a psychologist and if it doesn't work then go see a psychatrist.

I don't know. Pshychiatrists do the medecine school, not the psychologist (you can check it here: http://www.doctissimo.fr/html/psycho..._consulter.htm )

So they might be more competent than a psychologist. But i could be wrong, I never consulted any.

The psychoanalysts on the other hand should be avoided (you didn't talk about it but i just give the infos) cos they can work without any diploma, and there's no refund from the social insurance when you consult them.

[Samari]

Originally Posted by Timdog

Even if I occupy myself with something else, it's like I can't get it out of my head. There's always that frustrating feeling back there and sometimes it "bubbles over" and I get really depressed for a bit. It's always there. It actually is screwing with everything I do since I can NOT stop thinking about it, during schoolwork, while exercising, while I'm hanging out with friends, while I'm doing something creative, etc. It's probably just going to be there until I actually get that first kiss/lose my virginity. I know this really isn't normal but I REALLY can't stop obsessing over this issue. It's like my life revolves around it now. I can't enjoy anything anymore because of it. Which I'm sure also ironically ends up affecting my progress with girls as well.

Man up and don't let it bother you. This kind of attitude is not only demoralizing to yourself but to a future partner. You wouldn't want your significant other to be your sun to your universe. Clingy = bad. This really shows you don't have much confidence as an individual if you are worrying about girls this much. You're most likely a young buck, you're going to go through a lot of phases in life and most likely will have several girlfriends here and there just like everyone else on Earth. Your time will come. Seriously don't worry about it. The more you worry, the worse things will get.

[cheyannew]

Originally Posted by Narona

Ah... In france there's the social insurance for the people who consult...

It might happen in the USA too if Obama's Healthcare plan passes


I don't know. Pshychiatrists do the medecine school, not the psychologist (you can check it here: http://www.doctissimo.fr/html/psycho..._consulter.htm )

So they might be more competent than a psychologist. But i could be wrong, I never consulted any.

The psychoanalysts on the other hand should be avoided (you didn't talk about it but i just give the infos) cos they can work without any diploma, and there's no refund from the social insurance when you consult them.

Psychologists are (generally) as competent as psychiatrists; just choose to not go the medicinal route.

Thus why I chose to pursue psychology instead of psychiatry; I use a more holistic approach to ailments and whatnot, so the lean towards counseling as opposed to prescribing meds appealed to me

[Kusa-San]

Yes the only difference between a psychologist and a psychatrist is that the second can use medicament that's all. And I think the psychatrist is more expansive too (but I'm not 100% certain )

[SaintessHeart]

Originally Posted by Kusa-San

Yes the only difference between a psychologist and a psychatrist is that the second can use medicament that's all. And I think the psychatrist is more expansive too (but I'm not 100% certain )

Depends on who is charging. Government practitioners cost less than private ones.

Mental medicine is always expensive. I went through counselling sessions worth $50 per session, and that isn't cheap considering how that much can feed you for an entire month.

Psychiatric treatment can be more expensive due to medication costs, but psychoanalysis reports and testing (inclusive of IQ, EQ, mental stability, lodging for stay-in monitoring) can outstrip the cost of the former easily too.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Timdog

Even if I occupy myself with something else, it's like I can't get it out of my head. There's always that frustrating feeling back there and sometimes it "bubbles over" and I get really depressed for a bit. It's always there. It actually is screwing with everything I do since I can NOT stop thinking about it, during schoolwork, while exercising, while I'm hanging out with friends, while I'm doing something creative, etc. It's probably just going to be there until I actually get that first kiss/lose my virginity. I know this really isn't normal but I REALLY can't stop obsessing over this issue. It's like my life revolves around it now. I can't enjoy anything anymore because of it. Which I'm sure also ironically ends up affecting my progress with girls as well.

To be completely honest, I think you might have a problem here. Being so obsessive about girls isn't this healthy, at least not from what I know. Have you tried talking to anyone about it?

[cheyannew]

Originally Posted by Timdog

Even if I occupy myself with something else, it's like I can't get it out of my head. There's always that frustrating feeling back there and sometimes it "bubbles over" and I get really depressed for a bit. It's always there. It actually is screwing with everything I do since I can NOT stop thinking about it, during schoolwork, while exercising, while I'm hanging out with friends, while I'm doing something creative, etc. It's probably just going to be there until I actually get that first kiss/lose my virginity. I know this really isn't normal but I REALLY can't stop obsessing over this issue. It's like my life revolves around it now. I can't enjoy anything anymore because of it. Which I'm sure also ironically ends up affecting my progress with girls as well.

I have to agree with others in that this is not healthy, but perhaps looking at WHY you're obsessing over it so much would do some good.

Why are you so concerned with your virginity or intimate experience? Are you trying to keep up with friends who have gone ahead of you in this situation? Does your personal self-worth somehow link to your ability to seduce those of the opposite sex? Do you feel like you're failing somewhere if you do not have a partner in your life?

Those and other questions are things you should be asking yourself, and likely will for most of your life. Up until you're an independent adult (hell, for a good while after that TBH), you're still trying to figure out who you are, and it's an easy pit to fall into: linking your personal self-wroth with your ability to have/keep a partner. But in reality, if you're not confident in who YOU are (sexually active or not or whatever) you won't be able to go ahead and grow as a person, much less have a healthy relationship with someone else.

So sit down and seriously ask yourself WHY this is so important to you?

The answer might go a long way in helping you smooth things out

[Timdog]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

To be completely honest, I think you might have a problem here. Being so obsessive about girls isn't this healthy, at least not from what I know. Have you tried talking to anyone about it?

Only one of my close friends, but she thinks it will just pass. I really am considering going to my school's counseling services or something but it just sounds so lame going in and saying I feel bad because I feel frustrated with girls. It's not a REAL problem and I know that but it still affects me this way.

I also need to stay away from alcohol and going out to parties because those just make it worse (alcohol and its depressant properties make me feel VERY depressed, even a bit suicidal sometimes, and parties just make it worse since I see all these couples hooking up and such). I actually decided today that I'm not going to drink again until i get this solved since it always ends up badly when I drink.