A Laugh A Day

[Kudryavka]

Originally Posted by bhl88

The reaction of Sankaku Complex users to the scathing comments of 2ch on the recent closure of One Manga has found its way back to 2ch and incited an even more biting response.

Their response to the closure of One Manga and the impudent reaction of Sankaku Complex users angry at having to use more inconvenient sources of pirated manga filled scores of threads across 2ch, and was soon picked up by any number of 2ch-centric sites.

A representative selection of their comments is translated below:

This is why all chans - 2chan, 4chan, 6chan, whatever other chan some dangerous idiot may dare to think up - are complete sh*tholes. Screw 'em all.

And why respond to Sankaku, that awful place whose writers have nothing but pantsu (they can't say panties, must say pantsu >_>) and similar topics in their minds? Can't those 2channers find a place with a majority of intelligent non-pirates, like AnimeSuki?

[Tsumugi~]

Best game ever hands down.

[risingstar3110]

Originally Posted by Komari

This is why all chans - 2chan, 4chan, 6chan, whatever other chan some dangerous idiot may dare to think up - are complete sh*tholes. Screw 'em all.

And why respond to Sankaku, that awful place whose writers have nothing but pantsu (they can't say panties, must say pantsu >_>) and similar topics in their minds? Can't those 2channers find a place with a majority of intelligent non-pirates, like AnimeSuki?

And then our comments here will be translated into Japanese by Random Guy A and posted on 2ch, and then a new wave of "feedback" will come from 2ch about us AS residents..... before they are picked off by Sankaku and eventually get to us again.

Internet is such a great place. We always have a good laugh even when people do everrything seriously

[thevil1]

Spoiler for Funny [url]www.bash.org[/url] quote:

#301963 +(6828)- [X]

<lib1790> so, at this college there was an extra credit question "Is hell endothermic or exothermic"
<lib1790> this is what one kid wrote:
<lib1790> First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass.
If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
<lib1790>As for souls entering hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since, there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.
<lib1790> Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant.
<lib1790>So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose (i.e.,Hell is exothermic).
<liv1790>Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, than the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over (i.e.,Hell is endothermic).
<lib1790>So which is it? If we accept the postulate given by Ms.Therese Banyan during my freshman year, "That it will be a cold night in hell before I go out with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having a relationship with her, the second case cannot be true. Therefore, hell is exothermic.
<lib1790> the kid was the only one who got credit

I have a lot more funny IRC quotes saved on my HDD.

[Tsuyoshi]

Spoiler for More from bash.org:

<DeadMansHand> haha, last night, me and pete went out to celebrate his engagement and got hugely drunk
<DeadMansHand> we got this great idea to bury eachother in the sand close to the water and see who would chicken out first
<DeadMansHand> took about a half hour, but the water got up to my face so i freaked and got out
<DeadMansHand> i looked around for pete and he must've chickened out before me and stumbled home or something heh
<DeadMansHand> What'd he say when he woke up this morning?
<Thirteen-> uhh.. he hasn't come home yet.. i thought he was staying with you?
<DeadMansHand> holy fuck.
<DeadMansHand> i fucking hope im wrong about what im thinking right now
<DeadMansHand> im fucking going back to the beach to make sure
<DeadMansHand> if he gets home, call me, i don't want to be worrying about this
<Thirteen-> will do. you better hope he's not still buried, you'll be in deep shit.
quit: (DeadMansHand)
<Tyran> wtf? pete came home last night you fuck. Ken's going to be worrying about this shit all day
<Thirteen-> haha yea, but it will be fun while it lasts
join: (PeteRepeat) (bob@3F8C4655.11D1C8C.18637D35.IP)
<PeteRepeat> fucking ken
<PeteRepeat> ken... that fucker buried me in the sand last night, i ran off about 5 minutes to it, left him there to be an idiot
<quiqsilver> pete, ken didn't come back last night, i thought he was with you.
<PeteRepeat> oh fuck.
<PeteRepeat> if ken shows up, make sure he doesn't know that im at the beach digging for his body. i don't want him to think i care or anything.
quit: (PeteRepeat)
<Thirteen-> rofl. Those 2 are going to get a huge surprise when they meet at the beach.
<Tyran> i can't beleive how perfect their timing was

[Xion Valkyrie]

Originally Posted by Yoko Takeo

Spoiler for More from bash.org:

<DeadMansHand> haha, last night, me and pete went out to celebrate his engagement and got hugely drunk
<DeadMansHand> we got this great idea to bury eachother in the sand close to the water and see who would chicken out first
<DeadMansHand> took about a half hour, but the water got up to my face so i freaked and got out
<DeadMansHand> i looked around for pete and he must've chickened out before me and stumbled home or something heh
<DeadMansHand> What'd he say when he woke up this morning?
<Thirteen-> uhh.. he hasn't come home yet.. i thought he was staying with you?
<DeadMansHand> holy fuck.
<DeadMansHand> i fucking hope im wrong about what im thinking right now
<DeadMansHand> im fucking going back to the beach to make sure
<DeadMansHand> if he gets home, call me, i don't want to be worrying about this
<Thirteen-> will do. you better hope he's not still buried, you'll be in deep shit.
quit: (DeadMansHand)
<Tyran> wtf? pete came home last night you fuck. Ken's going to be worrying about this shit all day
<Thirteen-> haha yea, but it will be fun while it lasts
join: (PeteRepeat) (bob@3F8C4655.11D1C8C.18637D35.IP)
<PeteRepeat> fucking ken
<PeteRepeat> ken... that fucker buried me in the sand last night, i ran off about 5 minutes to it, left him there to be an idiot
<quiqsilver> pete, ken didn't come back last night, i thought he was with you.
<PeteRepeat> oh fuck.
<PeteRepeat> if ken shows up, make sure he doesn't know that im at the beach digging for his body. i don't want him to think i care or anything.
quit: (PeteRepeat)
<Thirteen-> rofl. Those 2 are going to get a huge surprise when they meet at the beach.
<Tyran> i can't beleive how perfect their timing was

That is so fake. How can they bury each other in the sand without the help of a third party?

[felix]

Originally Posted by Xion Valkyrie

That is so fake. How can they bury each other in the sand without the help of a third party?

Create a sand-castle like arch or pillar, move under it and make it drop; the bigger the better. You can also just dig hole near the water and wait for the tide to create a quicksand effect. You won't go under but it will be far harder to get out then it was to get in (see mythbusters ).

[JRendell]

Originally Posted by felix

Create a sand-castle like arch or pillar, move under it and make it drop; the bigger the better. You can also just dig hole near the water and wait for the tide to create a quicksand effect. You won't go under but it will be far harder to get out then it was to get in (see mythbusters ).

They were drunk....

[thevil1]

Originally Posted by felix

Create a sand-castle like arch or pillar, move under it and make it drop; the bigger the better. You can also just dig hole near the water and wait for the tide to create a quicksand effect. You won't go under but it will be far harder to get out then it was to get in (see mythbusters ).

It's IRC who cares if it's fake. IRC is for random chatter.

[Tsuyoshi]

Exactly, it doesn't have to be real. You just need to imagine that it is and it's hilarious

Spoiler for More randomness:

<Khassaki> HI EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!
<Judge-Mental> try pressing the the Caps Lock key
<Khassaki> O THANKS!!! ITS SO MUCH EASIER TO WRITE NOW!!!!!!!
<Judge-Mental> fuck me


<MooseOnDaLoose> Hey Mike
<goatboy> what?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> er?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> and?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> ...
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> i dont get it
<MooseOnDaLoose> AND YOU NEVER WILL.
<goatboy> bastard


<tag> Ouroboros: lets play Pong
<Ouroboros> Ok.
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> | .
<Ouroboros> Whoops


<cassius_clay13> so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar
<cassius_clay13> well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke
<cassius_clay13> so i helped him walk to the toilet
<cassius_clay13> all the stalls were occupied
<emoti_conartist> lol
<cassius_clay13> bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy
<cassius_clay13> so he fucking KICKS one of the stall doors open
<cassius_clay13> and there's this guy in there taking a shit
<emoti_conartist> hahahahahaha
<cassius_clay13> and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM
<cassius_clay13> then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh shit... if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was sick all over me, i'd want to fuck him up... so i'd better hit him first'
<cassius_clay13> so he fucking SMACKS this guy in the face
<cassius_clay13> and runs away
<cassius_clay13> imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT EVER

[Kudryavka]

Originally Posted by risingstar3110

And then our comments here will be translated into Japanese by Random Guy A and posted on 2ch, and then a new wave of "feedback" will come from 2ch about us AS residents..... before they are picked off by Sankaku and eventually get to us again.

Internet is such a great place. We always have a good laugh even when people do everrything seriously

This is just back and forth NO U. The internet is hilarious!

[RiderLeangle]

A woman was called by her son's teacher to meet him at his classroom after school. When she got there, she saw her son standing alone facing a corner.

Teacher-"Thank you for coming on such short notice, ma'm. The reason I called you is because your son was cheating on his test."

Mother-"You can't be serious! My son would never do that! How can you be sure?"

Teacher-"Because his test's answers were exactly the same as the kid who seats next to him."

Mother-"That's not proof enough. It could have been the other kid copying from my son's answers!"

Teacher-"I considered that possibility as well, until I read question #10: In what year the Civil War started? The kid answered "I don't know", and your son answered "Me neither!"

[KiNA]

Spoiler for for neatness:

[Tsumugi~]

Originally Posted by KiNA

Haha^^ that's pretty funny!

[nlnforever]

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

[Nadeko_Sengoku]

At my local anime con theres a masquerade where people can put on little skits. This one was my favorite.
WARNING: many sexual innuendos

[felix]

Originally Posted by KiNA

LOL, nice find!

[SaintessHeart]

A postmortem mind after a night fight with words

If time flies while you are having fun, is it true that happier people die faster?

If there is no such thing as free lunch, and the best things in life are free, lunch wouldn't be the best thing in the world. So what is?

If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, and while you are sick you met someone who is the apple of your eye, do you eat him/her?

If the rule of the thumb is to break every rule in the book, do you break your own thumb or someone else's?

If someone uses underhanded tactics to gain an upper hand, is his/her hands below, above or totally out?

[JRendell]

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

If there is no such thing as free lunch, and the best things in life are free, lunch wouldn't be the best thing in the world. So what is?

This doesn't make sense. Who said lunch is the best thing in the world?

[SaintessHeart]

Originally Posted by JRendell

This doesn't make sense. Who said lunch is the best thing in the world?

Please tell me you don't eat. The term lunch is supposed to be termed as a necessity, and erstwise, that statement tells us to reconsider our addictions, namely our wants which became our needs.