One or two of these might have been posted above, but I'm too lazy to check
Mai: What the f**k? I wanted Bahamut as my Child!
---
Mashiro [to Shizuru]: How about you loan me Natsuki for a day? I need someone flexible. I'll trade you Fumi!
Shizuru [Looking pissed]: Kiyohime...
---
Mikoto: Hey Mai, can you make my bento box a little smaller? Ani-ue says I need to lose weight.
---
Mikoto: You know, it never occured to me, but the mathematical equation of x³+26y+454.5z divided by the speed of light does only have one solution.
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Yukariko: HOLY FU**ING SHIT! Did you just SEE that?! I just fu**ing summoned a fu**ing Goddamn HORSE! Sweet fu**ing christ, BOOYAH! TAKE THAT, beeyotch! In yo' FACE, f**kstick! And WATCH, for my NEXT f**king trick, I'll pull a bow out of this unconscious chick and bust a cap in yo' ass!
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Akira: Real men don't wear aprons. Or bake cakes for that matter.
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Tate: Dammit, even Keitaro is cooler than me. (this one is mine, so credit to me
)
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Reito [To Mai, with a cigarette in his mouth]: Got a light?
Mai: Kagut...
Reito: On second thought, maybe I'll just quit...
(This is also one of mine
)
---
Mikoto: Gao~
Mai [Bops Mikoto's forehead]: Didn't I tell you to drop that word?
Mikoto: Niyahaha...
Mai: Forget it.
---
Shizuru: My elemental is the coolest... not only can I kick all your sorry asses but I can also scratch my back.
---
Takumi: All right then. Akira, you dress in the tuxedo and I'll be wearing the red dress.
---
What happens when Tate gets green-dusted, Reito becomes Mai's MIP and the other HiMEs decide to gang up on Mai in order to defeat the OL
*Mai gets defeated*
Nao: I feel... refreshed... never knew working together with other insane bitches can be this fun!
Shizuru: Hey, I'm crazy too! You wanna go on a world rampage despite the fact that I tried to kill you a couple episodes ago? I can council you on your problems on the road!
Nao: Sure!
*Nao and Shizuru skips away happily*
Yukariko: HELL YEAH! KICK-ASS! I'm one strong bad-ass chick!
*looks over to quivering Ishigami*
Yukariko: I don't need you anymore, wuss! I'll let you tag along as my man-whore/slave if you beg for your life... but not until I've tortured you, drown my baby due in 9 months and maybe read a few verses of the bible while I'm at it......
Yukariko: oh... I'm also going to need a cooler name *ponders* I know! Yuki Kajiura! Now all I need to do is kill the real one, masqurade as her and take over the world with gregorian chants! ... but I'm going to need some help...
Yukariko: *calls out to Shizuru and Nao* Hey girls! Need a third?? I'm not completely psycho but I am delusional and high on weed!
Nao : *whispers over to Shizuru* should we let ex-holy-lady-join?
Shizuru: Well, she's has reformed from her holy ways. We should give her a chance. The weed is definitely a plus. Worst comes to worst, we'll just kill her when the church music gets old or when she interferes with the hot lesbian sex
Nao: ok. *signal for Yukariko to join* wait a minute... what was that about the hot-lesbian sex?
Shizuru: *leers at Nao with her yuri glare*
*Mikoto tugs eagerly on Yukariko aka Yuki Kajiura's sleeve*
Yukariko aka Yuki Kajiura: What do you want, twerp? I need to catch up with my homies
Mikoto: Which one of you can cook?
*points to Ishigami/new man-whore/slave*
*Mikoto nods eagerly and chases after Nao and Shizuru to join their club*
Natsuki: *peeps around the corner* Umm... you think I can join too?
*Shizuru, Nao, Yukariko, Mikoto huddles together*
All: Sure you can....... NOT!
Shizuru: Sorry, babe. Your child sucks and you're too sane.
Natsuki: *lips quivering* You're all are so mean!
*Natsuki runs away crying*
Nao: dudette... she was your crush for years!
Shizuru: Don't worry! She goes out there, all alone... falls into a deep depression, have a few meaningless one-night-stands, have an affair with that loser-kendo-dude, get high on crack, and she'll be back, more messed up than ever and eager for my comfort and the drugs that I'll supply her for life. See, it's all part of the plan.
Nao: Damn it, you are messed up hawt!!! But wait, how are we going to make a living while doing this?
Shizuru: I can pimp out my harem and sell drugs
Yukariko: I can pimp out my slave AND preach *smug look*
Mikoto: I can pillage supermarkets and other stores
Shizuru: Great! Now all we need is a team motto and we're set!
Yukariko: umm... what about the HiME star
Shizuru: Eh. We could just blow it up with a coupla of missiles or something. But for now, motto conference!
---
Nao: Thanks to Fuuka Gakuen's special hot tea recipe, I have seen the error of my ways! I am now Midori's personal cheerleader! (Nao pulls out two pink pom-poms.)
Midori (sitting in front of computer): Research...research...
Nao (shakes pom-poms): Give me an M! Give me an I! Give me a D! (Nao: this is taking too long..) Give me an O! L! I! What's that spell?
Midori: Failing grade in spelling!
Nao: Poopy.
Mai: Midori, here is that late assignment... What are you looking at???
Midori: I've decided to switch my thesis to sexual anatomy!
Nao (holds one pom-pom high in the air): Gooooo, Midori!
Mai: That's...that's... (faints)
Nao (claps pom-poms together): If she doesn't win, no one will!
Shizuru (deftly avoids Mai's prone form): Here is the make-up assignment... (Shizuru ponders the computer screen.)
Midori (grunts): Research.
Shizuru: This site might be helpful. (leans over and types in an address)
Midori: Verrrry interesting.
Nao: Midori is ready! Midori is tough! She will--
Midori: Hush, Nao, I must concentrate!
Nao (pouts in the corner)
Natsuki: Midori, here is the... (trips over Mai's unconscious body.......looks up and sees Shizuru and Midori looking down at her...and a site on the computer screen entitled: "Natsuki and Shizuru's Shack of Burning Love")
Shizuru (happy): Natsuki!
Natsuki (wrath of god): SHIZURUUUUUUUUU!!!!! (Natsuki chases said person around the room)
Midori (looking back at the computer, taking notes): I didn't know that was possible!
Haruka: Midori, here... (Natsuki crashes into Haruka, propelling Haruka through the wall. Natsuki tumbles next to Mai, dazed.)
Yukino (runs after Haruka): You bastards! You'll pay dearly for this! Haruka!
Shizuru (rushes to Natsuki's side): Never fear! Super Shizuru is here! I'll take care of you! (picks up Natsuki and heads towards the door)
Yukariko: Midori... WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?? I SMITE ALL OF YOU! (Pokes her finger at the forehead of the nearest target...Shizuru) Smite!
Shizuru (blinks--nothing happens)
Yukariko (mutters): Damn cheap cleric academy...
Shiho (scampers in on all fours, under Yukariko's habit): Midori, here is my late assignment. (Everyone stops to stare at Shiho. Shiho grins.) I'm taking lessons on how to be a cat from my new bestest friend, Mikoto!
Midori (turns back to the computer): Mm, hm.
Miyu (unable to get into the room): You will all be decimated. Resistance is futile. (Dramatically 'unsheathes" her arm sword. The room clears very fast, except for unconscious Mai, intent Midori and pouting Nao.) Midori, here is the late assignment. (Miyu looks at the computer. Miyu points.) That technique is inefficient. (Miyu leaves.)
Midori (tilts her head thoughtfully): Inefficient.... how? ........... Must do more research.
Nao (small voice): May I cheer now?
---
Natsuki kissu Shizuru
Shizuru:"Ewwwww did you brush your teeth?!!"
Natsuki:"What? I just ate Mai's noodle that's all."
Shizuru:"Man I hate those green onion, I always pick them out of the noodles before I eat. Go brush your teech first before kissing me."
Natsuki:"Fine, but it's a long walk before I get back to Mai's appartment."
Meanwhile Durando Giant is still wrestling with Kiyohime.
Kiyohime:"Dude since when you become so big?"
Durando Giant:"I don't know, someone in Korea screwed up the background I guess. But it doesn't matter who wins, cuz them les over there are gonna get us both kill....
Kiyohime:"Dude this blows, I say we ditch those foos and just have our little advanture in the world."
Durando Giant:"Well I guess you look kinda like a monkey....in a Picasso painting. Now all we need is a chicken....hey I got it, let's go grab Kagatsuchi."
The children ran off to find their buddy Kagatsuchi.
Natsuki:"I am back, now let's contin...hey where are Duran and Kiyohime?"
Shizuru:"I don't know, they ran off, and you took your sweet time too long. now I just lost my mood. I am just gonna kill some more innocent pedestrians foolish enough to get into my path of rampage."
Natsuki:"Damn you Mai, I was gonna distract her long enough for a double KO so I can get out of this stinking show to start Gunslinger Girl 2, geeeeee. Why did you feed me that bowl of noodle...although I must admit it was pretty good.."
Nagi:"The moral of the story is, buy fresh mint gum. Cuz you never know when you are gonna kiss someone, even during a death match in the cotton Hime bowl!!!"
---
Reito: More power than you shall ever possess!
Mikoto: Naaaaah
Reito: Only brute force can rule the regions...
Mikoto: Something else.
Reito: I am the light. I am the darkness.
Mikoto: Try again.
Reito: We were born of nightmares to take over this world.
Mikoto: Oh come on off it!
Reito: And who are the lost gods?
Mikoto: Stop stealing other lines. Come up with your own original villain line already!
Reito: I don't have time to think of my own. Mai will be here any second.
Mikoto: Just make up some BS about how the world sucks and you're just trying to fix it. How stupid are you? Now hurry up and get out there, I have to practice my fake crying for Mai.
---
Reito: You have overcome all of the challenges placed before you and now will become my wife.
Mai: Come again?
Reito: I have waited for tens of thousands of years to receive the power that would be granted to me from a true virginal maiden.
Mai: Boy did you pick the wrong girl!
---
Mai:"So these pillars..."
Nagi:"Yes, they hold the MIP when a hime's child is defeated."
Mai:"Akane...Akira...Midori...Yukino.."
Nagi:"What are you mumbling about? that's Akane's MIP over there, and Takumi is over here."
Mai:"Damn it Nagi, can't I just look cool for once...my life is already fucking sucks now."
Nagi:"errr...there are name tags on each pillar..."
Mai:".....[start crying] waggggggghhhhh"
Nagi:"Alright alright I am sorry, here is a lollipop."
Mai took the lollipop and start sucking on it while wiping off her tear.
Mai:"[stop crying] So now what?"
Nagi:"Well since no one want to mess with you I guess we'll wait for the other Himes to annihilate each other."
An hour later...
Mai:"Man I am bored, hurry up and finish Shizuru Natsuki!"
Nagi:"Some friend...anyway want to play Pai Gow poker?"
Mai:"Sure."
Meanwhile....
Shizuru:"Damn it Mai, finish up Mikoto already. Natsuki, you don't think she suspect anything do you?"
Natsuki:"I don't think so, I think I act straight enough. Don't worry, she probably thinks we are fighting mad right now ehehehhee."
Shizuru:"Want to continue...."
Natsuki:"You naughty little kitten..."
Back in Reito's bat cave.
Nagi:"Crap how you beat me again? Forget it I quit."
Mai:"Come on one more game....damn how long does it take to kill Duran, Kaichou I am disappointed in you."
A few days later.
Reito:"Damn how long does it take for the final Hime to arrive, I am horny as hell...I meant I am losing my patient!"
Mikoto:"Yo bro can I have some more Ramen?"
Reito:"Shit how many bowls can you eat? Crap no money in wallet...Should've never destroy the 1st district so soon..."
---
Shizuru: Natsuki... You're the only one I want. All those rumours about my harem and screwing school nurses and japanese history substitute teachers are pure bull. For once in my life, I want a serious relationship and it's with you.
Natsuki: Oh... Shizuru...
*hug*
*Youko passes by*
Youko: Last night was great by the way.
*notices Natsuki*
Youko: You going to join us tonight, Kuga-san?
*glares at Shizuru*
Shizuru: Umm... when I said relationship, I meant open relationship...
---
Natsuki: Wait we don't have to fight! I just read the script and found out 9 pillars are raised because of that Golden Loli.
Shizuru: So that means we can be the final two HiME left and still reach Obsidian Lord and kill him. Let's go ahead and kill Mai and Mikoto.
Natsuki: Then we can have hot sex. Good idea!
---
Akira, drying her hair with a towel: "He's missing a screw or something in his head..."
Takumi: "Are you alright? You're not burned or anything, are you?" *opens the door* "Your change of cl--What?!"
*Akira quickly tries to hide her breasts*
Takumi: "A-A-Akira-kun?! You're... a girl!?" *He falls on his knees* "Then... NOOOOOO!!!! MY DREAMS ARE RUINED!!!"
Akira: *blink* "Areh...?"
---
Midori: "Assemble, HiME rangers! HiME Red!"
Mai: "HiME Orange!"
Natsuki: "H...HiME... Blue... *grumbles* Why am I even doing this..."
Yukino: "HiME Green..."
Mikoto: "HiME Black!"
Shizuru: "HiME... um, red is already taken..."
Midori: "Maroon! HiME Maroon!"
Shizuru: "But that sounds awful... how about Purple? Half Red, half Blue..."
Natsuki: "Ugh."
Mai: "Don't include me in your dreams, Kaichou-san."
Midori: "Argh, whatever. HiME-tachi! Summon the Zildren!"
*Uncool Power-ranger style animation, the children are summoned and try to fit together as to somewhat look like a giant robot*
Kagutsuchi, being the head and wings: "This is most embarassing."
Miroku, the body and arms: "Talk about it. I got a giant flaming chicken on my head."
Kagutsuchi: "What?! For that insult--"
Diana, left foot (grabbing Miroku's with its tentacles): "Do you mind piping down, up there?! You're both heavy!"
Kiyohime, right foot (grabbing Miroku's with its real mouth): "Nmff Kiddinff."
---
Yukino: Diana, show me Natsuki and Shizuru's bedroom, then Haruka-chan's bed, and get those tentacles working!
---
Mai:"Why why must everyone die except me...[cries]..."
Mr. T:"Why you crying little girl what's wrong?"
Mai spilled her gut about the whole Hime-lander thingy
Mr. T:"God damn, I pitty the foo that put you through this cuz I am gonna throw them hella far!!!"
Mr. T drove his van thru Sunrise headquarter and proceeded to lay the smack down on everyone.
Mr. T:"Now I'm gonna write a ending so rightreous that even Nao will stay in school and go to church. And I pity the foo who doesn't like it cuz I am gonna throw them hella far too, suckas.'
And thus the episode 26 we all love was borned....yeah! for great justice!!!!!!1111
Mr. T:"And off cuz check out how righteous my make shift customization on those childs!! They're almost as cool as and as fast as my Van."
Angsy fans A to ZZZ:"How dare you mess up our total destruction ending, die Mr. T!!!!! [start throwing Lance of Longinus at Mr. T]"
But unfortunately for them the lance were all bonced back at the fans by Mr. T's chains....
Mr. T:"Too you suckas!!! And nothing get thru my chains cuz they're halla tough!!!!"
Mai:"Man Mr. T you are so manly, I am gonna dump Tate for you!"
---
Haruka: Shizuru, I'm sick and tired of you!
Shizuru: Don't mess with me ****!
Haruka: Ha you lost your powers. You can't threaten me with Kiyohime.
Shizuru: Ahem Shihohime!
*And thus Shiho who has decided as part of a deal to serve Shizuru kills Haruka with her hair. Yukino learns Haruka has died and decides to challenge Shizuru*
Yukino: Shiz--
Shizuru: Shihohime!
Yukino: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Shiho: I love this job.
Shizuru: That's a good girl.
Natsuki: I can't believe she actually got Shiho to give up on Yuuichi.
---
2005-12-27, 07:53
Artist
