"legends said that Alto Saotome made a correct decision, he left both Ranka Lee & Sheryl Nome to marry the skies & proceed to make love with her, it was a long sight to behold according to the witnesses, the sky is now pregnant"
Man watching a kid getting bullied is so amusing every time, not.
To the idiot who gave me neg rep for this video, look at most post very closely and watch the video. There is a reason why I posted this on laugh a day.
Location: Diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
Age: 55
Spoiler for joke:
Three guys are fishing in a boat. A banker, an artist, and a scientist. They were good friends in high school but they've gone their separate ways. They meet once a year to go fishing and wonder what they have in common when the fish aren't biting. Which is all the time.
This year is no exception. They're bored and nothing is happening. So the scientist, to break the ice, says - ok guys. so, in life, which do you think is more important? A wife, or a mistress?
The other two look at the scientist with curiosity and contempt (he is, after all, a scientist). But it's an interesting question. Which is more important?
Your wife, says the banker. If you marry well, it's a strength. She brings you social integrity. Connections. Half my business comes to be directly through my wife, the other half only comes because I'm married. You have to have a wife.
Nonsense, says the artist. Wives don't inspire you, hell, I bet your wife won't even sleep with you most nights (here the banker looks away). You need a mistress to be your muse, to inspire you. An artist needs a mistress.
(The artist's mistress is, incidentally, the banker's wife, but that's another joke.)
But in this joke, both look to the scientist. They have little hope, and much contempt. What could the geek say? But the geek looks at them, and says:
"Actually, you need both."
Both? They ask, assessing the little nerd again, wondering if their repeated dismissals through the years were premature. Both?
"Yes", says the scientist. "Both."
"You tell your wife you're with your mistress. You tell your mistress you're with your wife. Then, you can sneak into your lab and get some work done."
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend.
In addition, Husband uninstalled many other valuable programmes, such as Romance and Personal Attention and then installed undesirable programs such as Rugby, Football, Sailing and Continuous TV. Conversation no longer runs, and Housecleaning simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging to fix these problems, but to no avail.
First keep in mind, Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package, while Husband is an Operating System. Please enter the command: 'c:\I Thought You Loved Me.exe' and try to download Tears.
Don't forget to install the Guilt update. If that application works as designed, Husband should then automatically run the applications Jewellery and Flowers, but remember - overuse of the above application can cause Husband to default to Grumpy Silence, Garden Shed or Beer. Beer is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband.
In summary, Husband is a great system, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. It also tends to work better running one task at a time. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food and Hot Lingerie.
Good Luck,
Tech Support
__________________
“This be the realest shit I ever wrote.” ~Tupac
So very dead right now.. but still breathing thank you.
Focus on the black dot in the centre really really carefully to help you focus on the image.
How did it happen?
I remember somewhere mentioned that if you focus on something (the dot in this case), your brain will fill the colour of the surrounding where your eyes does not focus at. Is it the case here?
Three guys are fishing in a boat. A banker, an artist, and a scientist. They were good friends in high school but they've gone their separate ways. They meet once a year to go fishing and wonder what they have in common when the fish aren't biting. Which is all the time.
This year is no exception. They're bored and nothing is happening. So the scientist, to break the ice, says - ok guys. so, in life, which do you think is more important? A wife, or a mistress?
The other two look at the scientist with curiosity and contempt (he is, after all, a scientist). But it's an interesting question. Which is more important?
Your wife, says the banker. If you marry well, it's a strength. She brings you social integrity. Connections. Half my business comes to be directly through my wife, the other half only comes because I'm married. You have to have a wife.
Nonsense, says the artist. Wives don't inspire you, hell, I bet your wife won't even sleep with you most nights (here the banker looks away). You need a mistress to be your muse, to inspire you. An artist needs a mistress.
(The artist's mistress is, incidentally, the banker's wife, but that's another joke.)
But in this joke, both look to the scientist. They have little hope, and much contempt. What could the geek say? But the geek looks at them, and says:
"Actually, you need both."
Both? They ask, assessing the little nerd again, wondering if their repeated dismissals through the years were premature. Both?
"Yes", says the scientist. "Both."
"You tell your wife you're with your mistress. You tell your mistress you're with your wife. Then, you can sneak into your lab and get some work done."