Nanoha FanFiction Discussion

[DKN117]

Am I allowed to post bare outlines and ask for help with further developing a story, or am I only supposed to post full-made story chapters here?

[Keroko]

Originally Posted by Nanya01

We were supposed to kill off Teela, we were supposed to... We even talked about it before-hand. We just couldn't bring ourselves to do it when the time came.

Part of me understands, and wishes you did. It would have made the impact of Teana's 'don't leave me' even stronger.

The other part is too busy screaming 'Squeee! Unison Device for Teana!'

Originally Posted by Nanya01

Aaaaand I just realized that we now have three Unison Devices with Ice, Fire and Wind elements...

Hello thar Magic Knight Rayearth!

Kehehe, you're right. Tasty coincidence.

Originally Posted by DKN117

Am I allowed to post bare outlines and ask for help with further developing a story, or am I only supposed to post full-made story chapters here?

Yes you can, in fact, yes you should. We'll be happy to help.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Keroko

Part of me understands, and wishes you did. It would have made the impact of Teana's 'don't leave me' even stronger.

Nanya actually caved in much sooner than I did. It wasn't until we were actually at the point where we could kill her that I realized I couldn't do it. Which was both a relief and a disappointment, really, but...

The other part is too busy screaming 'Squeee! Unison Device for Teana!'

Glad you liked it. Thank Nanya for it, that was his idea. I was the one who suggested we kill her... then I couldn't do it. Oh, irony.

[Fuyu no Sora]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

Glad you liked it. Thank Nanya for it, that was his idea. I was the one who suggested we kill her... then I couldn't do it. Oh, irony.

.... Not wanting to be a spoilsport here, but I do remember reading about Unison Devices being Belka-only devices... Someone please correct me if I'm wrong...

EDIT: Well, I don't know if this proves me wrong or not, but here's the description of a Unison Device as per the Nanoha A's booklet that was translated by the kind people of AS Nano. Thanks again guys!

Originally Posted by AS Nano, A's DVD Booklet

Unity-type Device

Also commonly known as a Unison Device. A device form developed only by Belka, it is a type of device that has taken the design idealogy of the Midchildan Intelligent Device to extremes. Devices possessing their own wills, and given complete human form and sentience, these devices can “unite” with users to provide Mana control and assistance according to circumstances. These devices exceeds other forms greatly in response speed and in the volume of Mana handled; however users suitable for Unison are rare, and much work is required to fine-tune and ensure compatibility towards the disposition of each specific user. Furthermore, since by nature these devices can cause loss of conciousness and other effects during Unison, these devices have emergency countermeasures set that are independant of the host’s awareness, allowing even solitary users to employ these devices on themselves, enhancing Mana usage. However, at times these devices may “take over” the user and operate autonomously, causing a “Unison accident”, so these devices were nearly never manufactured practically. During a successful Unison, striking hair or pupil color changes become apparent. However, whether the appearance after Unison is more similar to the user or the device depends on whether the user can manage the device. In the event that a user cannot handle the device, the user will lose all control, and will completely take on the appearance of the device.

[Keroko]

Originally Posted by Fuyu no Sora

.... Not wanting to be a spoilsport here, but I do remember reading about Unison Devices being Belka-only devices... Someone please correct me if I'm wrong...

Well, they're Belka only in that Mid has never started building them (they went with Intelligent Devices instead) but we do have Unison Devices support Mid Childan spells, as shown by Hayate, who utilizes a Mid/Belka mix of magic and often relies on Rein for support.

[RadiantBeam]

I always thought that Belkan Unison Devices could unison with a Mid-Childan based user, but it was harder to do because of the two different styles.

[GlancingReverse]

Originally Posted by Keroko

Yes you can, in fact, yes you should. We'll be happy to help.

Oh, actually, I have an outline that really needs some help organizing and making more sense. Anyone mind helping me?

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by GlancingReverse

Oh, actually, I have an outline that really needs some help organizing and making more sense. Anyone mind helping me?

Hmmm? Do you, now? *perks up*

*shot by plotbunnies*

[GlancingReverse]

Yeah, I need help with organizing that "if Fate won" thing that was being discussed. I think I mentioned I was trying it once.

[Satashi]

Originally Posted by DKN117

Am I allowed to post bare outlines and ask for help with further developing a story, or am I only supposed to post full-made story chapters here?

As Kero-chan said, we'd be happy to help and discuss your story ideas ^^ go ahead, that's what we're here for :3

[Fuyu no Sora]

Originally Posted by Keroko

Well, they're Belka only in that Mid has never started building them (they went with Intelligent Devices instead) but we do have Unison Devices support Mid Childan spells, as shown by Hayate, who utilizes a Mid/Belka mix of magic and often relies on Rein for support.

The thing is that the base mage (Hayate) is only using a Mid-style spell here (was it a Mid-style spell, to begin with? I always thought the rune was a Mid-style one because the bridge crew was helping her with directing the shots) but is still an Ancient Belka user and that doesn't change regardless of the type of magic she's casting =/. She may use a bit of Mid magic, but she's officially stated to be an Ancient Belka-style user, quite invaluable if I remember Chrono's (or was it Verossa's) statements in the manga. Rein is also a fully Ancient Belka device along with the Tome of the Night Sky and Schwertkreuz... We really need more information regarding stuff in the Nanohaverse...

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Fuyu no Sora

The thing is that the base mage (Hayate) is only using a Mid-style spell here (was it a Mid-style spell, to begin with? I always thought the rune was a Mid-style one because the bridge crew was helping her with directing the shots) but is an Ancient Belka user and that doesn't change regardless of the type of magic she's casting =/. She may use a bit of Mid magic, but she's officially stated to be an Ancient Belka-style user, quite invaluable if I remember Chrono's (or was it Verossa's) statements in the manga. Rein is also a fully Ancient Belka device along with the Tome of the Night Sky and Schwertkreuz... We really need more information regarding stuff in the Nanohaverse...

...

>.>

<.<

Maybe I should ask Nanya if we can edit the chapter and just kill Teela off... like we were going to originally.

[synaesthetic]

Originally Posted by DezoPenguin

Which brings me to the one piece of this story which I have some issues with: Chris's Intelligent Device.

Intelligent Devices (despite the fact that every main cast member seems to wind up with one) are very rare, very special pieces of technology. They definitely aren't the norm for mages, even military mages (Chrono, for example, is only shown using Storage Devices: first S2U and later Durandal). If this "Chris" has an Intelligent Device at all, then there should be a serious plot-heavy reason for it, whether it's because he's a TSAB mage prodigy or because he's an evil serial killer associated with a powerful conspiracy group with access to Evil Mad Science. And he shouldn't be bringing it to Miyuki's garage for repair, either: Device Meisters like Mariel and Shari don't grow on trees and their lab facilities don't, either (consider, for example, the way in which the repairs for Raising Heart and Bardiche had to happen in A's).

Good point and one of the things that bugged me about this chapter.

Intelligent Devices are somewhat more uncommon in canon than you've made them out to be. None of the Wolkenritter have Intelligent Devices (they have Armed Devices). Erio has an Armed Device. Caro and Lutecia have a... well, I'm not exactly sure what sort of Device Kerykeion and Asclepius really are.

Hayate has her Armed Device Schwartzkreuz, her Unison Device Reinforce-Zwei and whatever the actual Tome of the Night Sky would be (not sure?). Hayate has too much stuff. ^^;

So really, only Nanoha, Fate, Teana, Subaru, Ginga and Vivio have Intelligent Devices. I haven't been reading Force so I'm not sure if Divider996 is an Intelligent Device or an Armed Device (probably the latter?).

Originally Posted by Nanya01

It's that time again...

RadiantBeam and I are proud to present...

Day in the Life

Chapter 23

Partners

Also, long chapter, broken up into multiple posts again.

Spoiler for Partners:

-snip-

Continued in the next post...

Oooh... how interesting. Focusing a little on my favorite StrikerS character now, eh?

I likes it.

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

I always thought that Belkan Unison Devices could unison with a Mid-Childan based user, but it was harder to do because of the two different styles.

That's what I thought also but we never saw a Midchildan mage enter unison before in canon...

[Fuyu no Sora]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

...

>.>

<.<

Maybe I should ask Nanya if we can edit the chapter and just kill Teela off... like we were going to originally.

Noooo. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry.

I like the chapter the way it is, but I just waned to point out something I noticed, is all I'm sorry

[Frisko]

Originally Posted by Jimmy C

I can't tell how you wanted the idea for this type of Device to go, but Devices of all kinds (other than Unison) do not provide power for spell casting. That all comes from the mage. As a result, an C-rank would only be able to power spells up to C-rank level, whether he's using a storage device or intelligent device. You could have a sufficiently creative mage use spells to cause physical effects that are out of purportion to their power level, but a veteran mage (like all the ones in Nanoha) can tell that those guys are smart, and not throwing around more power that they should be.
The only cases where devices boost the power of a spell are the cartridge system and the Starlight Breaker, both of which are rather obvious when used.

Actually, one of the DVD booklets notes that Chrono (a AAA+ mage) was able to cast Eternal Coffin (an Over-S spell) in its complete form partly because the device he was using was tuned to specialize in freezing magic.


Regarding the discussion about the rarity of intelligent devices, the first intelligent device we see in the series belonged to a civilian, so its not impossible the Chris would have one. Incidentally, Kerykeion and Asclepius are Boost Devices, the Tome of the Night Sky is a storage device, and Steed (Touma's other device) appears to be an Intelligent Device.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by synaesthetic

Good point and one of the things that bugged me about this chapter.

Intelligent Devices are somewhat more uncommon in canon than you've made them out to be. None of the Wolkenritter have Intelligent Devices (they have Armed Devices). Erio has an Armed Device. Caro and Lutecia have a... well, I'm not exactly sure what sort of Device Kerykeion and Asclepius really are.

Hayate has her Armed Device Schwartzkreuz, her Unison Device Reinforce-Zwei and whatever the actual Tome of the Night Sky would be (not sure?). Hayate has too much stuff. ^^;

So really, only Nanoha, Fate, Teana, Subaru, Ginga and Vivio have Intelligent Devices. I haven't been reading Force so I'm not sure if Divider996 is an Intelligent Device or an Armed Device (probably the latter?).

Yeah, I know.

But I don't know how to change it without completely cutting out Chris's character and the relationship he develops with Miyuki throughout the story. That odd friendship is very important for when things kick off in later chapters, and the only way I could get them to meet was because he needed to have his Device fixed (there's another way they could have met, but it wouldn't have set up the scenario of them bonding as well).

Basically, I needed an excuse for Chris to meet Miyuki and for him to keep hanging around her after Shining Hope is repaired; because it's her kindness from their first meeting and letting him tag along that causes him to keep coming back even when Shining Hope works.

I'm open to any suggestions, here. Because I've got nothing.

[Fuyu no Sora]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

Yeah, I know.

But I don't know how to change it without completely cutting out Chris's character and the relationship he develops with Miyuki throughout the story. That odd friendship is very important for when things kick off in later chapters, and the only way I could get them to meet was because he needed to have his Device fixed (there's another way they could have met, but it wouldn't have set up the scenario of them bonding as well).

Basically, I needed an excuse for Chris to meet Miyuki and for him to keep hanging around her after Shining Hope is repaired; because it's her kindness from their first meeting and letting him tag along that causes him to keep coming back even when Shining Hope works.

I'm open to any suggestions, here. Because I've got nothing.

Why can't Shining Hope be an Armed Device (Belka-style) or a simple Storage Device? There's nothing that says you can modify her to be either of those two... or does it have to be necessarily an Intelligent Device?

@synaesthetic: Caro and Lulu's devices are called "Boost Devices" that (apparently) are Summoner-only.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Fuyu no Sora

Why can't Shining Hope be an Armed Device (Belka-style) or a simple Storage Device? There's nothing that says you can modify her to be either of those two... or does it have to be necessarily an Intelligent Device?

Shining Hope has to be an Intelligent Device for plot purposes. That and mainly Belka-style Armed Devices speak German, and I don't think I have the time or the energy to devote to translations and the like right now.

[Fuyu no Sora]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

Shining Hope has to be an Intelligent Device for plot purposes. That and mainly Belka-style Armed Devices speak German, and I don't think I have the time or the energy to devote to translations and the like right now.

...Well in that case it could probably be an inherited device from a famous parent that worked for the TSAB but retired or decided to use a device that caused less strain? But that doesn't cover why Chris would go to the garage to have it repaired... dammit >>;; And okay, that's fair play about the German

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Fuyu no Sora

...Well in that case it could probably be an inherited device from a famous parent that worked for the TSAB but retired or decided to use a device that caused less strain? But that doesn't cover why Chris would go to the garage to have it repaired... dammit >>;; And okay, that's fair play about the German

Chris is young, so his going to a garage could easily be explained by his own inexperience... this is the first time he's caused some serious damage to Shining Hope that he couldn't repair himself. And I can't go the TSAB route, because Chris was never part of the TSAB and neither was his family.