Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha Character Creation and Discussion (second reincarnation)

[LimitedEternal]

Originally Posted by Sheba

- steam vent -

To be honest...I wish I had a good response for this, I really do. And I don't disagree with you completely either, especially about things not getting noticed unless they're either over the top or from the known names here. I guess I've gotten used to it, but I can see where you're coming from here.

Originally Posted by Kha

I agree with Sheba; out of recent memory, the only few times in recent memory this thread felt great was when Dkellis, PF and Aaron updated, Sheba and Tempest did their bit, and when we went off tangent on a Negiha xover crack run. The rest were either lulls, brief bursts of clarification and questions, interspersed with a lot of angst.

In terms of a community, it is alive. The veterans have become increasingly busy with our own lives, leaving the thread in the hands of the new. But there is no handover; there is only war. The OC thread is just dying.

Because how can she live, if we no longer believe in her?

See, it was those bursts of stuff that made us good in the old days. I think we need to work towards that, where we toss out those things, get something going...just gotta smooth things out here.

I think there might even be a silver lining in the slowing of the thread in that there's less to catch up on and thus less to skip over.

Originally Posted by Keroko

I'm... not sure what to say about this. I know I should say something on the subject, being one of the 'big names' here, but I'm really not sure what I should say. I know the thread isn't what it used to be, it hasn't been for a long time. Sure, ocasionally we have fun times, but all around its just not like old times.

Perhaps its the lack of new material, things were much more busy when we were still getting new material and ideas thrown at us. Perhaps its because we became too... strict. There were a lot more liberties we took in the past, and a lot of fun scenarios came out of it.

However, I am not planning to give up on the thread just because of this. If anything, I'll redouble my efforts to read and respond to every post that is made, to make sure every voice knows its heard.

Amen. I dunno if I can call myself a veteran yet, but I've been here long enough to feel a part of the community, and I'm not ready to give up on it yet.

I think the biggest part of it is our increasingly stricter standards, to the point where new folks here seem misguided by comparison.

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

I was at a lost of words quite a bit before this as well...

This isn't really the type of problem one can solve easily with pleas or rules, since it involves several people and how they do interact in the thread.

I can't really count on myself on being able to relate properly to the shafted Cadians, since I kinda have the notability attached to my name due to being a veteran member.

Like Keroko said above, those are some reasons that might have caused this.

And also, I think that there's a lack of enthusiasm in Nanoha in general lately, which is rather inevitable since StrikerS ended quite a bit ago. The OC thread was in booming shape all that time ago because of the hype, which is one of the factors too. Only the more devoted enthusiasts of the series are expected to stay here if the newer members are to be spoken off. Hopefully, the Movie coming this winter should help boost up the interest level again.

On my side, I'm as busy as HELL. Which kinda explains a lot I hope. But still, to say the thread is dying is a little too soon to state. Like hell OC is just gonna die out just like that. Not on a long shot.

Sadly, I don't think I can return back to how I used to go about my business here before,, reading almost everything anytime soon. But I do agree that one of the most important things for writers is the knowledge that what they write are being read in the first place. Comments are a big bonus. It's actually good that this point was brought up. It may not necessarily demand more proper attention to go around, but it's still a valuable piece of the puzzle on brightening OC up again.

It's all about the energy level, and it can be hard to keep up when RL and personal things are mixed in. Your point about lowered interest is also a good one; with any luck it won't fall too far.

Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare

But, I feel that (massive) backlog breakers are actually spreading out my attention into too many things at once, and the responses I give become lukewarm, fake, even seem made just for the sake of making a response. They become dull, repetitive, and noncommittal.

This.

I genuinely liked 10 page breakers in my earlier months here. A chance to respond to dozens of fellow Cadians at once! But as it went on, I started getting tired of doing that several times a week; it takes 30-40 minutes to do a long breaker. I don't think one-liners solely for responding do you or the person you're talking to any good; there's no enthusiasm there. Like I said above, slower thread is less to catch up on.

Originally Posted by Kyral

Reading all this makes me feel that I have to comment.

First off all: It seems that I have to apologize. I'm not good in commenting and most of it are 'one-liners'. I'm not good at constructive critique... most people get from me is a correction for the used german.

But I won't change my style of posting. I know if I would try to comment more it would only be temporarly. Soon I would fall back to my old style of posting... Nothing would be gained of that.

I'm also unable to read everything here (I think my brain would explode if I try ).

Hm... the NegimaxNanoha stuff going on here recently didn't really cought my interest. But I don't think that anything is wrong with that. We all have different things we like so it's not uncommon that some of us back off a little when stuff pops up we don't really find interessting.

So in my opinion the OC-thread is not in a crisis or something like that. It survived worse.

Just my opinion in that regard...

I think we do have a minor crisis at the moment, myself...but I don't think it's as bad as it could be. I think there might be a bit of instability because of it, since this concerns the thread at large, but I'd like to think it's not life-threatening.

Originally Posted by Arkeus

Sheba: All of those were good points.

I hadn't read phoenixflare's post, i was commenting on someone else that i thought was saying something like "We should all have the same view".

But, yes, coming here means we have got to listen too.

Lemme put it this way: "We should all have the same view" is a straight shot to disaster. It's the myriad of opinions and notions that make this place what it is.

Originally Posted by Keroko

Primairy use: Intense groping. :3

I do like Leena.

Hm...you know, I bet there's someone who could get pointers from this girl. :3

Raising Heart as a legendary device had me go -_-

You'd think the TSAB would have discovered that during their many maintenance rounds. Not to mention Raising Heart is a Mid device, how can it be a legendary device of Belkan bodyguards?

I though RH had been found on wherever Yuuno's from? I was under the impression he or his clan had had it for a while. In any case, Belkan bodyguard Device raises(no pun intended) my eyebrow.

That was very interesting data indeed, what caught my eye was Zest rank as a 'Old Belkan Knight' which suggests that learning and practicing Ancient Belkan is very much possible.

Indeed it is. Always interesting to get info on villains, ne?

Originally Posted by XenahortCharybdis

Hahaha.

Don't make it look so bleak. This isn't a job for Sherlock Holmes or something...I think we all know what it is, we're just having trouble phrasing it.

This, I think, is the right approach. First step to solving a problem is to figure out what the problem is.

Hey, what handover? You're not planning on becoming like the person who isn't LK-Me right? There's no handover simply because no one bothered to handover! People don't care about the ethic of a writer, the rules concerning writing, there is no handover, Kha. This is no handover, because no one handed anything down.

You're one to talk about belief. If you wanna have a kid, make sure you're a responsible parent. Take that in whatever way you will.

Tell you what, Kha - declare you're leaving for the last time, then we'll talk about handovers. Till then you ain't goin' nowhere.

Originally Posted by Kha

@Xena: You know how bad I am with wording emotions. I can't wrap my tongue around the source of apathy, but I do know that I have lost faith in the thread. Sometimes I feel like I'm not posting because I want to, but posting just to keep things going.

But Rick hit very close; losing sight of the thread's aim is just 1 part of the problem. A big part yes, but still only 1 part.

Posting here feels like a second job now, and that's sad. But I won't stop, cos maybe like how it went for WoW things might suddenly turn around, Cadia Zwei suddenly walks out of the hospital bed and scare the shit out of her doctor. I want to be scared the shit out of in this manner.

And I think we just need to figure out where we're going and how to get there. There's gotta be a turnaround sometime in the near future. It's gonna happen, just a question of when.

By the way, you continuing to post here means you haven't lost faith - the day you stop is that day. Least that's what I think.

I dunno. My philosophical half never talks to me when I want it to, so I end up sounding off when I try to speak from it. Anyway...had enough of this subject.

Originally Posted by dkellis

Spoiler:

Arisa scrambled for cover as more energy bolts flew in her general direction. The oversized sword on her back shifted awkwardly, and she angrily slapped it back into position. The ground shook with another nearby explosion, and she stumbled; cursing, she turned the fall into a roll, and skidded behind a sturdy-looking pile of rubble that used to be a meter-thick bulkhead.

"Glad you could join us," the silver-haired Enforcer said, far too cheerfully for someone who looked as badly injured as she did. One leg had been set in a makeshift splint, and she was clutching a cloth-wrapped object tightly to herself.

"Who the hell are you?"

"Ivey de Lorien, TSAB. The one with the stick is Reiz Astra, same." Reiz nodded nervously in greeting, gripping her quarterstaff Device tightly.

"Where's Hayate? Where's Fate? Where's Nanoha?"

"Ah, the Lieutenant-Colonel's whereabouts are unknown," Reiz said. "Which is, um, kind of the problem..."

"Hello there, my little chickadees!" A singsong voice floated through the wrecked corridors through hidden speakers. "Don't make me come look for you!"

"And who's that?" Arisa demanded.

"The infamous dimensional criminal Quattro, formerly of Scaglietti's Numbers, currently going solo," Ivey replied promptly. "Or so we believe, anyway. She appears to be entirely familiar with you, at least."

"Why? I've never even met her before!"

"Uh," Reiz said diffidently, "I didn't catch your name, ma'am."

"... until recently, I was just Arisa Bannings," Arisa muttered. "Now, I'm not so sure."

The ground trembled again. "Your arrival was either most fortuitous or most unfortunate," Ivey continued. "We certainly weren't expecting someone to teleport right into the middle of the facility."

"I'm sorry! I didn't know this was where Apollo wanted to send me!" Arisa shifted the sword's position on her back again. "He told me this was where Suzuka was..."

"Incoming!" Reiz was on instant alert, even as Ivey corrected, "Hold up, it's a friendly!"

Arisa blinked as a figure materialized out of invisibility. "Haven't I met you before... Subaru, wasn't it?"

Subaru gave her a quick grin. "That's right. It's been a long time, Arisa."

"What's happening here? Where's Nanoha?"

Subaru's face fell. "Nanoha... Nanoha hasn't been seen since, uh, since you left the 97th Non-Administered World. We think she went looking for you, but..."

"Well I certainly haven't seen her!" Arisa rubbed her temples. "Okay, wait. Calm down, I know I can get through this. What's our situation?"

"Tea sent me here to support the 37th," Subaru explained. "Erio's out looking for Cinque and Nove, and Caro and Vice are with Fate. Tea says she thinks she can get through whatever's jamming our mage communications, but it'll take a while. Uh, I didn't know you'd be here, Arisa, or I'd have asked Tea to keep in touch, so she could cloak you and bring you back as well."

"No funky magical telepathy, remember?" Arisa pointed out.

"Oh." Subaru blushed. "Oops."

"Who else is with Lanster?" Ivey asked.

"Ginga and Arf. I don't know where Inspector Acous or Sister Schach are. And Lieutenant-Colonel Yagami hasn't reported in at all, nor have the Wolkenritter." Subaru counted on her fingers. "I think that's all?"

There was a great rhythmic rumbling, as though an impressively large number of boulders decided to tumble down the same incline at once.

"Oh, right," Subaru added, in the sudden silence after. "You're surrounded by a lot of drones."

Ivey stared at her. "Be precise, Nakajima. How many, and what sort?"

"The big rolly ball types," Subaru said, "and maybe fifty of them?"

"What-" Arisa clamped her hands over her mouth. In a lower voice, she said, "What? Is that woman mad?"

Ivey grimaced. "Though this be madness, yet there is method in it."

Reiz poked her head above the safety of the wall, and ducked down just as quickly. "Yes, we're definitely surrounded." She checked her cartridges. "I'm almost spent."

"Me too," Subaru admitted. "This was supposed to be a quick extraction, but I didn't expect so many drones here."

"I think it's safe to say that Quattro knows exactly where we are," Ivey said.

Arisa unslung her sword. "Then it's down to a fight."

"No offence, Miss Bannings, but do you actually know how to use that thing?"

"Well enough." Arisa dug through her belt pouch. "What are those things weak against?"

"Physical trauma, mostly," Reiz said. "Magic doesn't work too well against them, unless you overload their anti-magic field."

Arisa slotted the cylinder into the hilt. "The next time I see Nanoha, I'm going to hit her, again. This is not the normal life that I wanted."

The hidden speakers crackled to life again. "I have you completely surrounded," Quattro announced. "Give up the book and I might let you crawl away alive."

"Book?" Subaru said, puzzled. "What book?"

Ivey coughed. "It's a long story." She carefully unwrapped the object she had been holding, just enough to reveal the unmistakeable crest on the front of the book.

Arisa and Subaru stared. "Why," Arisa asked softly, "are you holding onto the Book of Darkness?"

"As I said, it's a long story."

"It's a fair deal," Quattro continued unseen. "You won't find a better offer anywhere else!"

Ivey's laugh had an edge to it. "Uh, no," she called out. "No means no, equals no. Twice I state: I refuse you, I deny you. And three times I say and done: bite me, Quattro."

"Can that Quattro woman even hear us?" Arisa said.

"I have no idea," Ivey admitted, "but that felt good."

"Wait, I think I'm getting something," Subaru said, holding a hand to her head. "Tea's trying to tell me... reinforcements? And a signal. We're supposed to wait for a signal, and then get out of here."

"What reinforcements?" Reiz asked.

"What signal?" Arisa wondered.

"I AM THE LOOSE CHANGE IN THE VENDING MACHINE OF JUSTICE!"

"That signal," Ivey noted, as the sound of a hundred energy blasts impacting on an impenetrable barrier made it almost too loud to think. Above her, Lumina Celeste, the Unyielding Ace, flared incandescent as she poured all her magical power into the shield protecting the group.

Reiz and Arisa quickly bundled Ivey onto Subaru's back. Subaru made sure that Ivey was secure, and gave Arisa a nod of thanks. "Mach Calibre, go!"

"Can you escape by yourself?" Reiz asked Arisa.

"Technically, I've never really gotten the hang of all the zipping around and-"

"Never fear!" a voice from ground level exclaimed. "One rescue coming up!"

Arisa swung her sword on reflex, and almost decapitated the head and torso poking out of the ground.

"Hey, watch it!" Sein yelled.

"Sein? I thought you were working against us!"

"Uh, no. Very, very no." Sein grabbed Arisa's arms. "Explanations later! Dive now!"

The last thing Arisa saw was Reiz's astonished face, just before the ground swallowed her.

Ooh, Arisa story. Haven't had any love for the girl in a long time.

And you've definitely made something special in Lumina...more interesting every time I see her.

Originally Posted by Evangelion Xgouki

So is that way she uses such immense attacks? To compensate for her lack of-

*is Stalight Breaker'd*

Ooohhh, that's why her chest is so small...is there a correlation between beamspam and chest size? :3

*sees White Devil in the distance!

*Blaster-5'd*

Originally Posted by AdmiralTigerclaw

Waste Heat. Channeling high level stuff means excess heat remember? Tank S rank magics and you stand a good chance of microwaving your insides. I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure doing the same thing to your internal organs you do to a hotdog is NOT good for your health.

Heat? I don't remember anything saying magic generated heat. I always thought of magic as a non-heat source of energy.

Originally Posted by Comartemis

I've been working under the impression that RH was never a TSA device, but one that was handed down through the Scrya clan. Otherwise how would Yuuno have gotten his hands on it? Is there a Devices 'R Us somewhere on Mid where you can go and pick out your very own military-grade Intelligent Device for the low low price of $29.99?

And don't forget that Mid and Belka were once competitors as 'most prevalent magic style'. I can see a Mid mage being a bodyguard in a Belkan court, albeit under unusual circumstances.

Yeah, I doubt you can just go buy a Device from somewhere. Although to be honest, I don't know where you'd possibly get one aside from military or digging up one somewhere...

Originally Posted by Keroko

I still fully enjoy posting here, maybe I'll start bringing somewhat of the 'crazy' back into the thread when I fire up the new version of Uomo (poor guy gets Rebuilt so many times ) This time with more Nove and even somewhat of a trap-disarnament. That, and I'll finaly start writing kinship, a story fully focussed on the Sentoukijin in Nanoha.

As in Sentoukijin-trap Uomo? Oh boy...-_-; (:3)

I think an injection of crazy is just what we need.

Originally Posted by AdmiralTigerclaw

Theoretically, a mook COULD tank Starlight Breaker... but in order to manage the resulting waste heat... the mook would have to have antifreeze IVed into their bloodstream, and be wearing armor made entirely out of radiators.

Of course, someone set up like that would be ineffective at any actual combat. Being unable to really move and all...

EDIT: Funny image:

This would probably look like a megaman stage boss.

Dunnnn nun nun nunnn!!!

[RADIATOR MAN!]
"Your magic can't hurt me!"

doo do... dooo do... do do dobidedooooo!!!!!

I doubt any mook is tanking SLB...

That aside, I see where you're going with this system, but I doubt it's practical in actual combat.

Originally Posted by Keroko

Radiator man: "Your magic can't hurt me!"

Nanoha: "... But that suit looks really difficult to move around in."

Radiator man: "Er..."

Nanoha: I'll just be moving on to that door behind you. Nice talking to you!

Radiator man: "..."

See, when Nanoha turns to unlock the door, that's when Radiator Man casts off and jumps her!

Bah, the incantation was made back when Nanoha was still a traditional Magical Girl show, we shouldn't take the incantation seriously (especially since Nanoha dropped it after, what, one use?) I'd rather not be stuck with the headache explaining why a modern day standart device was wielded by bodyguards 300 years ago.

Yeah, I am totally lacking that feeling you have.

Wasn't she something like "Why do I even need the long spiel?"

Originally Posted by Arkeus

Keroko: did it ever say midchilda won the war, or that they were the only two participants?

Also, they did have a serial number for the "Cartridge" part, but no idea on how to implement it (it took them a week to do so in a lesser way). It seemed to me it was all theorotical, and once the Knights came and information was shared, that they gave information on Belkan magic (hence the "Neo-Belkan" style).

Or at least that's what i got.^^

This is all conjectures, after all.

Mid likely won, or at least Belka lost. I doubt Mid magic would be so widespread otherwise.

Originally Posted by Keroko

Well, yeah, it took them a week to implement it, because both Raising Heart and Bardiche were Mid Childan devices. They weren't build with the idea of Cartidge system in mind. I'm no mechanic, but that means they had to virtually re-design both devices! I'm amazed they did that and made it work, in just one week.

But Belkan magic was used by Mid long before Nanoha and co. Zest and Quint are only two examples of Belkan users, and Vice was a Mid-user using Cartridges.

It was made abundantly clear that both RH and Bardiche were special even by Device standards, although that could be The Power Of Plot rearing it's head.

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

Other comments later, but...



Fufufufufufu...... >>>:3

That's one of the points of GenerationS in the first place, since the enemy this time are all pure Mid-Childan style and tech (aside from Grandis). Naturally, Lost Logia will be involved. =3

Oooh, secret weapons. :3

[Comartemis]

Chrono also has Physical combats skills

Chrono's not a recognized master of aikido, which brings up another point I wanted to raise:

Even if we assume for the sake of argument that Eva is no more powerful than Hayate is, ranks are determined by a combination of power and skill, otherwise ranking tests could be accomplished by simply measuring the strength of the applicant's linker core. And with 500+ years of experience on her side, the only way the Aces will ever be able to beat Eva will be if she lets them.

Anyways, all arguments aside, the point is that Eva's not going to relinquish her position in the story as The Old Master just because some 10 year-old whelps who can toss around bigger fireworks than she can show up in her neighborhood. She's still going to have lots of knowledge to impart to the younger generation, particularly Alex, Suzuka, Arisa, and the Ala Alba, as per usual. She's also still going to be a Badass Lolita well into StrikerS, though she may not get as much screentime as the others once things move to Mid... then again, I suppose Hayate could always call in a favor from an old teacher when the Forwards need some intensive training...

[dkellis]

Originally Posted by Kha

I felt Subaru's dialogue was a little strange for her personality. Instead of "Big rolly ball types" I'd say "Gimongous ball types" but I guess its just me.

Changed.

Originally Posted by LimitedEternal

See, it was those bursts of stuff that made us good in the old days. I think we need to work towards that, where we toss out those things, get something going...just gotta smooth things out here.

I have a lot of opinions myself about the state of the thread. Sooner or later, they're going to get posted.

But I'm trying to be nice, and follow my own ironclad rule of never posting when angry (or tired or drunk).

I'm working on Lyrical Babel, but since it's so tightly-plotted, it takes a lot of effort and energy to write even a single paragraph, just to make sure it doesn't contradict canon, and builds up appropriately to the plot. I needed something light and easy to write without worrying about being yelled at for canon inconsistencies or Not Being True to the Nanoha-verse or Power Levels.

Therefore, you're going to get a lot of Lumina, since making her over-the-top seems to be doing a good enough job of distracting readers from the fact that I don't care if I'm following all the restrictions placed on us in the OC thread.

[Kha]

@dkellis: Glad to be of some help though I'm not that word change actually meant a difference. I think of dialogue in Japanese, and gimongous was an attempt to capture the cute naunces of the word "Dekkai"... Not sure if it works that way.


10 more chapters to end of Chao arc! And Kha can't help but go "Ore wa ZERO, Seigi no Tsurugi daa!" to the Mahora War participants!

[Wild Goose]

Originally Posted by Keroko

Primairy use: Intense groping. :3

I do like Leena.

She's really a joke charecter, but she has a good skillset, and I've decided that she'll have had training in the Magical EW that TK proposed. All for the purpose of finding her targets. And Groping Them.

Out of curiosity, just how powerfull is Master Chief? I've only played the first game, so I don't have a firm grip on his skills and abillities, and from what I've seen of him I don't see him taking on the numbers with his bare hands.

Gameplay and story segregation. In the novels, which are considered canon with regards to tech details and such, Chief can see in the dark without night vision, can lift a warthog, can punch through metal, and has extremely fast reflexes and senses - to him, a steel pin falling to the ground seemed to take at least 10 seconds, during which time he tracked it at watched it as it fell down slowy, and he was confused as to why it was taking so long to fall. (This was just after he got modded.) He can run at speeds of about 80km/h in his armor, and jogs at a pace faster than that of an olympic sprinter outside it. He moves so fast outside his armor that he appears as a blur to security cameras.

Originally Posted by dkellis

Spoiler:

*snip*

*chuckles* Excellent short piece. Funny, and Sein's reapparence was awesome.

...that reminds me.... Psycho and Leena have been eying Sein for a while....

Originally Posted by stormturmoil

Honestly, I think it's good to see more short story snippets being posted, because it's something we can get behind.

While I'm not necessarily railing about the existence of AU 'Canon's, the truth is, something so involved and far-reaching can seem, well, a bit nebulous and too big and clouded to really get a grip on; it's not something we can immediately read, enjoy and comment on...

more than that, as we've seen with ATC (sorry for the namedropping, but you're the best example I could think of) there is a big difference between reading the outline of something and reading that same concept put into theory...

I know I was one of the people alarmed by some of the concepts ATC proposed for his works...but the moment I read them actually integrated into his work, in proper context, those fears were proven unfounded. In proper context, they were proved well developed and thoughtful.

Now, before anyone reaches for the quote button in outrage, I know I'm being a hypocrite here; I hardly post anything, and when I do, most of it is HAXX-laden AU's. That's just me, I'm afraid...I'm not good at restraining myself, and I'm not good at long stories...I can do scenes, sometimes, but can't join them together. So I don't.

But sometimes, I feel the need to get something written down, get it out of my system...and then I'll write it up, and post it (it took a long time before I was confident enough to do that though, and I had to have something on the board already related to tie into before I was happy to stop lurking and start posting)

But once I'd done it, once I'd stepped off the precipice and found I could fly, I ended up doing it more...and while they were all problematic pieces, they all fulfilled a need to express something for me, and everyone here accepted that and let them go for what they were; without a HaXXbusting crackdown, without a long dragged out debate on the nature of the Nanohaverse in whatever AU 'Canon' was fashionable at the time.

I really appreciated that.

That's why, even though I'm never likely to be the most prolific poster, I will continue to stick with the thread, (even though that does occasionally end up with me starting fights): It's my only way of saying Thank you, to everyone here, for being awesome enough to listen without judgeing when I needed it.

To be fair, turmoil, while a good amount of your stuff was haxxed it was also presented interestingly, which was a big plus point. I was also pretty wary of how ATC was merging his ideas into his writing, but then the way he put them together and showed them allayed my fears. (And he now knows not to drop in anything overpowered. )

Though to be fair, the latest rebuild of David is hardly haxxed, IMO. Sure, he's a bit far out, but you've done a good job in thinking through things and writing an interesting character. And frankly I wouldn't mind having David along in my TF6 timeline/fic/verse/whachamacallit; there's plenty of ways to use a good doctor.

Actually, as Kagerou did say, most people don't really care if the charecter is haxxed so long as it's entertaining. Take Sephiroth in his haxxness, or Cordell Walker in his God Mode Badassness. Then again, Walker is a Texas Ranger, and is played by Chuck Norris, afterall. And Chuck Norris is so badass, he skipped boot camp and went straight to becoming a Marine.

Originally Posted by dkellis

I have a lot of opinions myself about the state of the thread. Sooner or later, they're going to get posted.

But I'm trying to be nice, and follow my own ironclad rule of never posting when angry (or tired or drunk).

I'm working on Lyrical Babel, but since it's so tightly-plotted, it takes a lot of effort and energy to write even a single paragraph, just to make sure it doesn't contradict canon, and builds up appropriately to the plot. I needed something light and easy to write without worrying about being yelled at for canon inconsistencies or Not Being True to the Nanoha-verse or Power Levels.

Therefore, you're going to get a lot of Lumina, since making her over-the-top seems to be doing a good enough job of distracting readers from the fact that I don't care if I'm following all the restrictions placed on us in the OC thread.

Well, at least you're honest in how you don't care. And subtle. That always works.

Alpha pretty much broke the canon, hence being placed in a separate timeline. TF6 is also breaking or at least stretching canon in several places. Lyrical Babel is probably stretching canon too. The difference is that all three were stated to have breaking/stretchings of canon, and are still working within the framework of canon, and all authors are doing their best to work with the framework of canon (which means that Uruz Team in TF6 are not going to be using conventional firearms, but magic guns).

Comar can accuse me of ripping into him by saying this, but frankly the way he went about his plans in the beginning stepped on a lot of toes. The way I see it, he stepped on those toes, and then essentially told us he didn't need us, and was going to make his most awesome AU, and then when he starts running into trouble, he wants us to write his AU for him, and handwaves and ignores inconsistencies and whines that we're being unfair to him and his AU. (Let's not get into the whole naming an AU after oneself, which smacks of a certain degree of arrogance, but that's neither here nor there).

Now, as to doing an divergence from canon, I'm doing a similar thing with Task Force 6, which is an AU retelling of the StrikerS story, but the whole reason I'm not catching as much flak is because I've stated clearly that I'm doing an AU, it's diverging from canon, and also its because my divergences are fairly down to earth, compared to Comar's more outlandish plans. As much as possible I'm trying to remain true to canon, which is why I'm very seriously considering axing Chief, since, as Kagerou said, some charecters should not be in Nanoha at all. If I do keep Chief in, I'll probably do something similar to his cameo on Macross OC (there, Master Chief makes a cameo as a Navy SEAL with the callsign Sierra 117. So if he does appear, it'd be as a Navy mage with the callsign Sierra 117).

Also, one thing I would like to say to Comar: If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen. Criticism is a part of everything. The only time you will never be criticised is when you are dead. This is just the internet. If you can get upset at even this, you will never be able to make it in the real world.

(Yes, I got chewed out by my company's Chief Operating Officer yesterday. Not a pleasant experience, coming after being chewed out by my shift manager and then my Department Manager. At least thank God my salary wasn't cut.)

Originally Posted by Kha

10 more chapters to end of Chao arc! And Kha can't help but go "Ore wa ZERO, Seigi no Tsurugi daa!" to the Mahora War participants!

Zengar pwns Zero.

"Ware waga Zengar! Zengar Zombolt! Aku wo tatsu tsurugi! Waga zankantou ni tateni mono nashi!"

Considering Zero's actions, I'll have to take his claims of being a sword of justice with a good amount of salt and salsa. But having said that, Zero does have balls, nerve, and of course, C.C. Though Zengar has Irui.

Also, as part of my planning for RF6, a sample ORBAT, with OCs and CCs:

Lost Property Investigation & Recovery Task Force 6
HQ Staff
CO: Lt. Colonel Hayate Yagami
2IC: Warrant Officer Griffith Lowran
Chief of Staff: Sgt. Major Reinforce Zwei

Stars Squad
Captain Nanoha Takamachi (Stars 1)
2nd Lieutenant Vita Yagami (Stars 2)
Private Subaru Nakajima (Stars 3)
Private Teana Lanster (Stars 4)

Lightning Squad
Captain Fate T. Harlaown (Lightning 1)
1st Lieutenant Signum Yagami (Lightning 2)
Private Erio Mondial (Lightning 3)
Private Caro Ru Lushe (Lightning 4)

Uruz Team
Sergeant Leo "Veri" Kozlov (Uruz 1) (Magical Rifleman)
Sergeant Ivan Mikhailovich "Taufan" Sokolov (Uruz 2) (Mage Sniper)
Corporal Naomi Jaeger (Uruz 3) (Mid Bombardment/Melee)
Corporal Anna Petrova (Uruz 4) (Mid Sniper)
1st Lieutenant Franz Jaeger (Uruz 6)

Investigation Section
1st Lieutenant Mikhail Dornitz
2nd Lieutenant Felix Munroe

This is the ORBAT as of the start of TF6. As we see, the Investigation Section is now larger, with Mikhail and Felix bolstering and assisting Fate and Ginga, so investigative work will proceed with greater depth; Mikhail's an intelligence officer who does target analysis and ferreting of target details for his team, and also a former cop, while Felix was a private investigator. Both are also trained interrogators. There's also a bit more combat power in Uruz Team, who are mostly B/A-ranked mages, but who have more combat experience than the Forwards; they'll be helping the Forwards by being Opposing Force and teaching them how to fight humans, not just unthinking drones. Franz will lead Uruz team until the Train Mission, after which he returns to the OFM, and Uruz becomes Veri and Naomi's show.

Parings in TF6? Undecided. The only pairings that are ensured are Erio/Caro/Lutecia and Franz/Naomi. Some attemps will be made for Vita/Felix ( :P) and Hayaurion

Now I gotta get started.

Anybody interested in their OCs making cameos is encouraged to PM me; Lowe's OCs will make appearances here and there, as will DK's 37th CIAA... and of course O'Neil, Demon Lord and Solo Wing will show up...

[Arkeus]

Originally Posted by Comartemis

Chrono's not a recognized master of aikido, which brings up another point I wanted to raise:

Even if we assume for the sake of argument that Eva is no more powerful than Hayate is, ranks are determined by a combination of power and skill, otherwise ranking tests could be accomplished by simply measuring the strength of the applicant's linker core. And with 500+ years of experience on her side, the only way the Aces will ever be able to beat Eva will be if she lets them.

Anyways, all arguments aside, the point is that Eva's not going to relinquish her position in the story as The Old Master just because some 10 year-old whelps who can toss around bigger fireworks than she can show up in her neighborhood. She's still going to have lots of knowledge to impart to the younger generation, particularly Alex, Suzuka, Arisa, and the Ala Alba, as per usual. She's also still going to be a Badass Lolita well into StrikerS, though she may not get as much screentime as the others once things move to Mid... then again, I suppose Hayate could always call in a favor from an old teacher when the Forwards need some intensive training...

Thing is, in the first season it was revealed that Nanoha and Fate were already stronger than Chrono in magical power alone. They were AAA rank then.

Waht makes Chrono AAA+ rank is his experience and application of his power.

"Eternal Coffin" may only be AA or AAA rank, then.

[AdmiralTigerclaw]

Originally Posted by Keroko

Radiator man: "Your magic can't hurt me!"

Nanoha: "... But that suit looks really difficult to move around in."

Radiator man: "Er..."

Nanoha: I'll just be moving on to that door behind you. Nice talking to you!

Radiator man: "..."

Heheheh...

Spoiler for Radiator Man stage!:

NANOHA READY!

[dkellis]

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

(snip)

I had a long reply to this, but then I realized that it counted as posting in anger.

So I'll draw back to generalities.

To everyone: write. Don't bother justifying your choices, don't bother defending your characters. Just write.

Forget about whether you're "true to the Nanoha-verse" or "shafting the characters". Forget about power levels. Forget about whether Superman is more powerful than Goku.

Just write the story you want to write. If the story is too big, then write something smaller, something shorter and lighter.

Don't tell us what you want to do; do it. Treat it as a trial attempt to see if the idea works. If it does, go ahead and use it in the actual story. If not, just scrap it and start over.

And the decision on whether it works rests with you alone. You don't have to prove yourself to anyone else. Take other people's suggestions, by all means, but the ultimate consideration is yours.

As for everyone else? If you don't like it, then just move on to something you do like, since if everyone's writing, chances are there'll be something or other in the mass to interest you.

[Wild Goose]

PM it to me then, DK, I'm curious as to what you want to say.

At any rate, my piece has been said, Shou has apparently talked to Comartemis, and I'm going to be focusing on TF6 and Macross OC. I've said what I wanted to say, and now need to rush to work. Later, all.

[Sheba]

Originally Posted by tshouryuu

I think you forgot that Nanoha, a HUMAN survived a strike through the chest as well on a mission with Vita, without regeneration. If anything, Nanoha surviving it is a greater feat then Eva.

Nanoha, B.O.T.W material? More likely than we think!

[AdmiralTigerclaw]

Originally Posted by LimitedEternal

Heat? I don't remember anything saying magic generated heat. I always thought of magic as a non-heat source of energy.

Big honking heat dissapators on Raising Heart and Bardiche that puff off steam after a big spell don't get your attention? LE, you're slipping.

SOMETHING in the process that's channeling magical energy is producing waste heat...because that waste heat is being expelled via water vapor as a burst of steam.

I doubt any mook is tanking SLB...

That aside, I see where you're going with this system, but I doubt it's practical in actual combat.

Depends on who uses it and for what. Imagine if you will, that you're doing your mission to get through point A to point C through mook squad B. Mook squad B are shooting mages... you laugh off everything they throw at you and kung fu your way through, since they are trained to shoot magic attacks and that's about the best they can really do. Even though you're about as skilled as the mooks in terms of magic power, you still plow through them...

Then you get jumped by Nanoha who happened to be in the area, you flee, she manages to get a buster on you... you escape because it didn't knock you out like it's intended to do... though you make it back to base with a case of heat exhaustion and down a few quarts of water.


It's like a knife in modern warfare. Just how practical is a knife in combat when you have guns and bombs and artillery? Not very, but that doesn't make it any less useful a tool for the right situations.

[Kyral]

Originally Posted by Tormenk

Favorable outcome seems to be a deadly catchphrase around Carnage.

I'm liking the direction you have taken for Elric's (eventual) downward path. Simple and effective.

Glad you like it. Strange... I'm better in writing Elrics fall then the actual story itself.

Originally Posted by Kha

Freud would have a field day dissecting Elric's dream.

Only that it's less a dream and more his actual memory!
Sticking pointy things into people... shooting at girls...
Freud realy would have fun with these dreams I think...

Originally Posted by Evangelion Xgouki

Yay! It continues

Originally Posted by Kha

@Kyral: That's called Synchro. Like how Erio almost completely matched Kha when he was a kid.

Ah I see... alright... Scarface can live.

Originally Posted by Evangelion Xgouki

So the stripes have won, huh?

It's the movies fault! Stripes on Nanoha... so I tried stripes on Elric xD
But I must say... I like his lower body design... maybe I will mix the old and the new.

Originally Posted by XenahortCharybdis

It's a hell lot more useful than you think, Kyral. I'm sure the people who have received help before would say as much, so don't talk yourself into the basement over this. No point, and it just makes you look the worse for it.

It seems I sounded more depressing then I intended... Ah well thanks. I know that it helps people but its a little... *shrug* don't know how to word it. A well... as I said... I keep doing what I did.

Originally Posted by Evangelion Xgouki

Damn right you had better not change . Stay true to yourself or feel the wrath of SLB. And I may not be an angst fan, but I make the exception for you . So get back to writing more angst!!

Huh? A NGE Fan who's not a angst fan!?
But of course I will keep writing the angst stuff... It would be only half the fun without!

Originally Posted by Keroko

Nah, Belka and Mid were about equal in technology (otherwise we'd have a hard time explaining why in the world Mid even won the war) its just that the focuss has been a bit much on the Belkan side lately. I myself would love to see a Lost Logia weapon of Mid's side of the war being found.

Well... it's not as powerful as the Cradle but Carnage is a Mid Lost Logia Device.

Spoiler for Random non-Nanoha runt:

What the crap is this 'All-Ages' Tsukihime Remake!? I want a Sacchin h-scene for gods sake!

[Tormenk]

Originally Posted by AdmiralTigerclaw

Big honking heat dissapators on Raising Heart and Bardiche that puff off steam after a big spell don't get your attention? LE, you're slipping.

IIRC, the first time the coolers was shown was right after Nanoha fired her first Divine Buster. I lack the general knowledge but perhaps the process of collecting and pressurizing the magic into a spell does that.

Same way with cartridges, since Levantine vents steam after each load.

Originally Posted by Kyral

Only that it's less a dream and more his actual memory!
Sticking pointy things into people... shooting at girls...
Freud realy would have fun with these dreams I think...

Oh boy the unwitting innuendo here..

Huh? A NGE Fan who's not a angst fan!?
But of course I will keep writing the angst stuff... It would be only half the fun without!

He's got you there Eva.

[Wild Goose]

Regards to heat, you can't fight thermodynamics, which state that whenever energy is converted some of it will be lost as heat, hence the cooling mechanisms.

[Kha]

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

Zengar pwns Zero.

"Ware waga Zengar! Zengar Zombolt! Aku wo tatsu tsurugi! Waga zankantou ni tateni mono nashi!"

Considering Zero's actions, I'll have to take his claims of being a sword of justice with a good amount of salt and salsa. But having said that, Zero does have balls, nerve, and of course, C.C. Though Zengar has Irui.

Zengar is overused in this thread, and Negiha Kha resembles Lelouch much more than Fate's old man.

And yes feel free to use any characters, and do get started on TF6 (gotta stop thinking Team Fortress 6. <_<)

[Keroko]

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

She's really a joke charecter, but she has a good skillset, and I've decided that she'll have had training in the Magical EW that TK proposed. All for the purpose of finding her targets. And Groping Them.

Oh yes, the MEW. Heh, badass militairy name turned cute. I'm going to take a few elements of that for Uomo, fitting for a spy, I think.

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

Gameplay and story segregation. In the novels, which are considered canon with regards to tech details and such, Chief can see in the dark without night vision, can lift a warthog, can punch through metal, and has extremely fast reflexes and senses - to him, a steel pin falling to the ground seemed to take at least 10 seconds, during which time he tracked it at watched it as it fell down slowy, and he was confused as to why it was taking so long to fall. (This was just after he got modded.) He can run at speeds of about 80km/h in his armor, and jogs at a pace faster than that of an olympic sprinter outside it. He moves so fast outside his armor that he appears as a blur to security cameras.

... Wait, that's it? For a moment there I was thinking he could just tear his way through a mountain the way you were going on. Seriously, if that's the extent of Master Chief, then I don't think he needs to be nerfed to be fit for the Nanohaverse at all. I mean, sure, he'd be powerfull, but not 'tearing the numbers apart' level powerfull. Wait, no, let's rephrase. Some of them would be 'tear apart' level, like Quattro and Otto, who only have B-rank power, and Uno, Due and Sein with A-rank also wouldn't pose much of a threat, but I expect AAA-ranker Nove to be at leats able to hold him off, and the S-rankers Tre and Sette to give him an equal fight..

Poor Cinque being AA-rank though. She better nail him before he gets close!

Note: all ranks account for muscular strength alone, not their respective abillities.

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

...that reminds me.... Psycho and Leena have been eying Sein for a while....

How do you grope someone that can dive through matter though?

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

Also, as part of my planning for RF6, a sample ORBAT, with OCs and CCs:

Lost Property Investigation & Recovery Task Force 6
HQ Staff
CO: Lt. Colonel Hayate Yagami
2IC: Warrant Officer Griffith Lowran
Chief of Staff: Sgt. Major Reinforce Zwei

Stars Squad
Captain Nanoha Takamachi (Stars 1)
2nd Lieutenant Vita Yagami (Stars 2)
Private Subaru Nakajima (Stars 3)
Private Teana Lanster (Stars 4)

Lightning Squad
Captain Fate T. Harlaown (Lightning 1)
1st Lieutenant Signum Yagami (Lightning 2)
Private Erio Mondial (Lightning 3)
Private Caro Ru Lushe (Lightning 4)

Uruz Team
Sergeant Leo "Veri" Kozlov (Uruz 1) (Magical Rifleman)
Sergeant Ivan Mikhailovich "Taufan" Sokolov (Uruz 2) (Mage Sniper)
Corporal Naomi Jaeger (Uruz 3) (Mid Bombardment/Melee)
Corporal Anna Petrova (Uruz 4) (Mid Sniper)
1st Lieutenant Franz Jaeger (Uruz 6)

Investigation Section
1st Lieutenant Mikhail Dornitz
2nd Lieutenant Felix Munroe

This is the ORBAT as of the start of TF6. As we see, the Investigation Section is now larger, with Mikhail and Felix bolstering and assisting Fate and Ginga, so investigative work will proceed with greater depth; Mikhail's an intelligence officer who does target analysis and ferreting of target details for his team, and also a former cop, while Felix was a private investigator. Both are also trained interrogators. There's also a bit more combat power in Uruz Team, who are mostly B/A-ranked mages, but who have more combat experience than the Forwards; they'll be helping the Forwards by being Opposing Force and teaching them how to fight humans, not just unthinking drones. Franz will lead Uruz team until the Train Mission, after which he returns to the OFM, and Uruz becomes Veri and Naomi's show.

Parings in TF6? Undecided. The only pairings that are ensured are Erio/Caro/Lutecia and Franz/Naomi. Some attemps will be made for Vita/Felix ( :P) and Hayaurion

Now I gotta get started.

Anybody interested in their OCs making cameos is encouraged to PM me; Lowe's OCs will make appearances here and there, as will DK's 37th CIAA... and of course O'Neil, Demon Lord and Solo Wing will show up...

Hmm, looks like Uruz team is going to be a near-full long-range support squad, unlike the other squads which balance melee, mid and long range, am I right?

[Wild Goose]

Originally Posted by Kha

Zengar is overused in this thread, and Negiha Kha resembles Lelouch much more than Fate's old man.

And yes feel free to use any characters, and do get started on TF6 (gotta stop thinking Team Fortress 6. <_<)

Oh I willl, Nanoda~

Originally Posted by Keroko

Oh yes, the MEW. Heh, badass militairy name turned cute. I'm going to take a few elements of that for Uomo, fitting for a spy, I think.

The eavesdropping and hiding would be very useful, no doubt.

... Wait, that's it? For a moment there I was thinking he could just tear his way through a mountain the way you were going on. Seriously, if that's the extent of Master Chief, then I don't think he needs to be nerfed to be fit for the Nanohaverse at all. I mean, sure, he'd be powerfull, but not 'tearing the numbers apart' level powerfull. Wait, no, let's rephrase. Some of them would be 'tear apart' level, like Quattro and Otto, who only have B-rank power, and Uno, Due and Sein with A-rank also wouldn't pose much of a threat, but I expect AAA-ranker Nove to be at leats able to hold him off, and the S-rankers Tre and Sette to give him an equal fight..

Poor Cinque being AA-rank though. She better nail him before he gets close!

Note: all ranks account for muscular strength alone, not their respective abillities.

Well I'd rate Chief at being around AA to AAA-rank muscularly; the nerfings were mostly due to a feeling of wanting balance (hence why he's a B-rank mage). Nove vs Chief would depend on who gets the first shot off but could go either way, but he's got more stopping power and inertia behind his punches compared to her. Tre & Sette are definately an equal fight. And Chief can canonically dodge bullets, so all he'd need to do with Cinque is to keep dodging her knives, plus there's the shields on the MJOLNIR armor...

And I forgot that Chief is capable of turning over an upside down Scorpion tank.

Best way to take him down is range. Lots and lots of ranged fire. <.<

How do you grope someone that can dive through matter though?

Leena: "We have our ways~"

Hmm, looks like Uruz team is going to be a near-full long-range support squad, unlike the other squads which balance melee, mid and long range, am I right?

Mostly. Franz is Neo-Belkan, so he's primarily melee with midrange and some longrange ability; Veri is short to mid-ranged (basically: Think Call of Duty 4, that kind of combat, in close quarters), while Taufan is a mid-long range sniper. Naomi and Anna, being Air Wing fliers, are Close Air Support: their job is to orbit the battlefield and bring down fire from the sky onto targets designated by Veri and Taufan. That said everyone has had CQC training, and Naomi is also quite good with her naginata (she's a combo bombardment/melee mage), plus she and Anna have had more experience and training in sneaking around than most TF6 members (Air Wing girls are trained for infiltration and scouting. In both BJs, broad daylight, and in local clothing. Leena once infiltrated a brothel. ALong with Psycho.)

[Evangelion Xgouki]

Originally Posted by Keroko

Radiator man: "Your magic can't hurt me!"

Nanoha: "... But that suit looks really difficult to move around in."

Radiator man: "Er..."

Nanoha: I'll just be moving on to that door behind you. Nice talking to you!

Radiator man: "..."

Lol

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

Fufufufufufu...... >>>:3

That's one of the points of GenerationS in the first place, since the enemy this time are all pure Mid-Childan style and tech (aside from Grandis). Naturally, Lost Logia will be involved. =3

I sense awesomeness stirring...

Originally Posted by LimitedEternal

Hm...you know, I bet there's someone who could get pointers from this girl. :3

Uh, huh...

Originally Posted by LimitedEternal

Ooohhh, that's why her chest is so small...is there a correlation between beamspam and chest size? :3

*sees White Devil in the distance!

*Blaster-5'd*

*crawls out of the smoking crater*

Seems like it, huh?

Originally Posted by LimitedEternal

See, when Nanoha turns to unlock the door, that's when Radiator Man casts off and jumps her!

Lol!

Originally Posted by Kyral

It's the movies fault! Stripes on Nanoha... so I tried stripes on Elric xD
But I must say... I like his lower body design... maybe I will mix the old and the new.

Sure, sure (). Just keep experiemnting...while getting sleep though

Originally Posted by Kyral

Huh? A NGE Fan who's not a angst fan!?
But of course I will keep writing the angst stuff... It would be only half the fun without!

I'm just not a big angst fan . And it has to be good angst.

Originally Posted by Tormenk

IIRC, the first time the coolers was shown was right after Nanoha fired her first Divine Buster. I lack the general knowledge but perhaps the process of collecting and pressurizing the magic into a spell does that.

Same way with cartridges, since Levantine vents steam after each load.

I was thinking along the lines of that the higher-magic spells require the Devices to process the spell data and magic at a faster and larger rate so they need to expel the heat from their internal components.

Originally Posted by Tormenk

He's got you there Eva.

*bops with inflatable Frostmourne*

Hush you.

[Sheba]

Originally Posted by dkellis

To everyone: write. Don't bother justifying your choices, don't bother defending your characters. Just write.

Forget about whether you're "true to the Nanoha-verse" or "shafting the characters". Forget about power levels. Forget about whether Superman is more powerful than Goku.

Just write the story you want to write. If the story is too big, then write something smaller, something shorter and lighter.

Don't tell us what you want to do; do it. Treat it as a trial attempt to see if the idea works. If it does, go ahead and use it in the actual story. If not, just scrap it and start over.

And the decision on whether it works rests with you alone. You don't have to prove yourself to anyone else. Take other people's suggestions, by all means, but the ultimate consideration is yours.

As for everyone else? If you don't like it, then just move on to something you do like, since if everyone's writing, chances are there'll be something or other in the mass to interest you.

It's easier said than done.

Let me use my experience as a gamemaster who directed many pen & paper RPG sessions. At least, as a gamemaster, I has the audience face to face, man to man, and I knew the reactions and the expectations as I went on. I can change the focus, the tone and the flow of the story according to how the audience react. And I could share my own little microcosmos, what you people call the sandbox, with my players.

Behind the screen, on the anonymity of a bulletin board, I don't have a fucking clue if I am doing it right or wrong. Especially when there are next to no reaction and comment. So how I am supposed to know what to keep, change, improve if no one tell me? Or are my ideas so bland or out of touch with the spirit of this thread that it's not worth reading? Do I have to resort to the usual recipes and tricks (you know what I meant by recipes) to hope to get more people interested?

On a more personal note, I am struggling with two things, first, a large inferiority/superiority complex heavily tilted toward the inferiority end (to put it in words, I know I have ideas, they are results of absorbing about over 20 years of pop culture and culture. But I feel something need to be improved, always.). Secondly, as I have talked more with friends and relatives, a possible bipolar disorder I refused to acknowdlege. My motivation is like a rollercoaster, alternating periods where I get high and ideas are flooding my brain, and periods of zero motivation, bordering on depression, where I see no point doing it, especially if my words and ideas cant reach up to someone or a group of people.

Yes, I work by motivation, and this motivation is related to if I know I have reached someone. Otherwise, what would have been the point of doing dungeon mastering to share a story if no one listen to me or if silence are the only things I get in return?

[dkellis]

One cannot get comments on a story if one has no story to comment on.

Although since your primary reasons for writing are somewhat alien to me, I'll have to let someone else be the motivator.

EDIT: Potentially personally offensive statement redacted.