AnimeSuki Forums

demino_hellsin · 2013-09-08, 04:50

and also disappearing for a few episodes then coming back with the hero's power-ups for no explained reason nor scenario... at all.

Fireminer · 2013-09-08, 04:51

Just have Chifuyu get him!

demino_hellsin · 2013-09-08, 04:57

“THE REPRESENTATIVE CANDIDATES MAKE THEIR MOVE!”, the exuberant announcer girl cried atop her levitating podium. “Just out of the third corner and everyone's GAN GAN going for the gold! OVERWHELMING POWER AND SPEED! TRULY! LIKE A CANNOOOOOONBAAAAAALL!”

SCHWAAAA!

The crowd roars in response to her rousing calls. All but one. Ran's eyes aren't resting on the imaging sphere, they are piercing it to one corner of the picture. “Ichika.”, she says this quietly as she squeezes her hands. The raucous cheers of the crowd around her indicate that they have no idea what she's so worried about, neither do they pay heed to the girl herself. But someone does notice her. “Hya!”, she squeaks in surprise.

The touch of soft skin on her own surprises her, but does not repulse. Ran feels like she could actually sink into the warm feeling wrapping around her. She looks to her left and finds warm pools of caramel sparkling with amusement. “What's the matter?”, Squall asks the younger female.

Ran feels unsure, she looks down before turning to her companion again, “Ichika isn't doing so well.”.

Squall looks over at the screen, it's easy to distinguish the white unit despite the small coverage it was getting. Before it were the enlarged images of the girls charging forward or blasting each other away from the lead spot. “Mmm, he appears to be struggling.”, the blonde woman speaks lightly. The smile on her face easy and happy.

Annoyance breaches the younger girl's heart at seeing how her companion was taking delight in Ichika's hardship, but she felt like she didn't have the right to condemn the blonde for it. “He's in last place. I just hope he can somehow catch up.”.

“Oh he will.”, Squall's smile grew bigger. “By the fifth turn he'll have surpassed them all.”.

Ran stared at the prediction with wondering eyes.

Back in the control room, Yamada Maya was staring at the multiple screens that showed the conditions of the racers as well as multiple windows of the CCTV system of the track. She was quite frantic as she pressed buttons, typed keys and overall just keep up with all the crazy happening outside.

Behind, Orimura Chifuyu was quite passive. Her eyes were hardened and staring intently at a particular window showing up on the monitor.

“O-Orimura-senpai. Ichika-kun is-”

“That idiot will be fine.”, she speaks curtly. “Just continue gathering that data. We have to provide special classes to the representative cadets after all.”

“Y-Yes.”

Maya closed her mouth and continued her work. Even though the conversation was short, she could tell that her senior instructor was worried. She was still an older sister after all, but at the same time she was a teacher. She had to be impartial despite wanting to cheer her own sibling on. This cold shoulder treatment must be the only way she could manage both feelings at once. Maya herself realized that she should follow this example.

But despite what Maya thought, Chifuyu's mind was far from spinning such ideas. She was still staring at the screen but it wasn't at Ichika, she was sure he was capable of overcoming this situation. In the vast azure shown on the monitor she could feel it. Something was there, something was about to appear. But she had no idea what it was. The vague sense that allowed her to survive the most dangerous of situations was telling her something big was happening. But that something was not registering itself as either benevolent nor malignant. Whatever it was, she could not call off the event for a baseless feeling even she herself was unsure of.

----------------------------------

rawr!

gotta gather material for the big battle!

Fireminer · 2013-09-08, 05:09

First step to a long road, which the end is S&M Yuri!!!

ZeroXSEED · 2013-09-08, 05:14

*Looks thread*

Topic on kamen rider I don't know, and a nicely written snipped.

*Read it riffing style*

Good, good!

....

Yuri?

*Close tab*

demino_hellsin · 2013-09-08, 05:17

Moouu!! The yuri is just a sidestory. It can be ignored. Plus Squall is not a woman. She is a Squall.

ZeroXSEED · 2013-09-08, 05:23

Don't mind me, I CAN withstand yuri to some degree (I've planning to include one at least)

Yuri mindrape by adult on underage? Naaah

The snippet itself is well written

Fireminer · 2013-09-08, 05:26

Hey, could you write a snippet for Ran's though about love with Squall and Sin?

demino_hellsin · 2013-09-08, 05:38

I could

but the relationship between Squall and Ran won't be too dramatic. I'm basing this off Shugo Chara of all things.

I also appreciate the liking of the snippet. Gives me hope that my writing skills aren't total crap yet T.T

ZeroXSEED · 2013-09-08, 05:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by demino_hellsin

I'm basing this off Shugo Chara of all things

EVEN WORSE!

Anyway, hopefully updating Mirrorverse tonight, but I want to see if it's too condensed or to slow paced (I won't ask quality overall, my fic is bad fic and that's about it)

demino_hellsin · 2013-09-08, 05:45

But but... highschoolerxelementary was awesome XD

Fireminer · 2013-09-08, 05:54

@SEED: Well, it could be worse. At least you choose the appropriate genre and plot. Just look at us with our Code Geass fic!

SHUGO CHARA!!!...Well, your choice. Always feel it a bit inferior to Sugar Sugar Rune and Tokyo Mew Mew...

Girls in cat clothes...

ZeroXSEED · 2013-09-08, 06:00

I love Tokyo mew mew, because the boyfriend didn't suck ass, and the love triangle is absolutely hillarious :3

(YAY my happy childhood is coming back)

Fireminer · 2013-09-08, 07:06

Anyone try to write a Cardcaptor Sakura/IS crossover?

demino_hellsin · 2013-09-08, 07:08

No... Just... No

wavehawk · 2013-09-08, 07:09

...There's no way you can get me drunk enough to write that.

demino_hellsin · 2013-09-08, 07:12

Let us test that theory when I get to australia

Fireminer · 2013-09-08, 07:14

“The kids! How are they?” A female in tight plastic-alike clothes frantically asked another woman, this one has silky purple hair.
“Ichika is ok! The Doctor said that his eyes will recover, although they will left scars...And Houki...She is still struggling. She hasn’t take her medicine, and maybe the recent event is too much for her already fragile heart.”
“What about Madoka?...What happened to my SISTER???” Chifuyu screamed as she saw Tabane’s avoiding gaze, and her now-brimmed with tear orbs.
“I’m sorry...She fight to the end, but still a little girl couldn’t suffer so much, both physically and mentally...”
“No...NO!!!” And for the first time in 5 years, Chifuyu cry. Cry for her little sister, whom Ichika and her dotted on so much. Cry for a unforeseeable future, which covered with a thick fog of Tears and Blood...Tabane grabbed her friend’s shoulder and burry Chifuyu’s face deep into her chest. “Husk, Husk...” Just like a gentle Mother comforting her Daughter. She wait for Chifuyu to calm down, her cries turn into sobs. Her voice now filled with sorrow, hesitation and entreated.
“Chifuyu...I know it’s not the right thing to ask...But could you give me one last favor?”
“(Sob) What is it? (Sob)”
“Houki is dying, even with a Core as her heart - Her body is too weak to bear the burden...I need Madoka’s as a replacement...Please, that is our only hope!” Tabane literary kneel down and begging Chifuyu. Her eyes is almost as hollow as the darkness night, save for a thin ray of light on the corner. After a few moment of hesitation, Chifuyu also kneel down and hugged Tabane:
“...Do it! I’m sure that Madoka...would gladly accept a chance to help her best friend....”
She never know how wrong will this turned to be..."

wavehawk · 2013-09-08, 07:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by demino_hellsin

Let us test that theory when I get to australia

- you'd better bring lots of good Vodka or Sake. Because I don't drink Beer or Whiskey (they bypass the drunk part and make me hung over straight away)

demino_hellsin · 2013-09-08, 07:23

Vodka it is. Not really a fan of how sake burns.

Fire, the structure of your writing needs to be fixed before it's even fit for human eyes. Put some spaces in between and/or proper paragraphing. About the proceedings, its about as painful as it gets losing a sister and all, but the execution pushes me away for some reason. Both are my personal thoughts but I strongly urge you heed the first part.

2013-09-08, 05:14	Link #45825
ZeroXSEED I am no one Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Inside your head	Looks thread Topic on kamen rider I don't know, and a nicely written snipped. Read it riffing style Good, good! .... Yuri? Close tab __________________

2013-09-08, 05:23	Link #45827
ZeroXSEED I am no one Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Inside your head	Don't mind me, I CAN withstand yuri to some degree (I've planning to include one at least) Yuri mindrape by adult on underage? Naaah The snippet itself is well written __________________

2013-09-08, 06:00	Link #45833
ZeroXSEED I am no one Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Inside your head	I love Tokyo mew mew, because the boyfriend didn't suck ass, and the love triangle is absolutely hillarious :3 (YAY my happy childhood is coming back) __________________

2013-09-08, 07:09	Link #45836
wavehawk Some say I'm the Reverse Join Date: Jul 2006	...There's no way you can get me drunk enough to write that. __________________ "We haven't been properly introduced..."

2013-09-08, 04:50	Link #45821
demino_hellsin That one guy Join Date: Nov 2011	and also disappearing for a few episodes then coming back with the hero's power-ups for no explained reason nor scenario... at all.

2013-09-08, 04:51	Link #45822
Fireminer Lumine Passio Author Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Hanoi, Vietnam Age: 18	Just have Chifuyu get him!

2013-09-08, 04:57	Link #45823
demino_hellsin That one guy Join Date: Nov 2011	“THE REPRESENTATIVE CANDIDATES MAKE THEIR MOVE!”, the exuberant announcer girl cried atop her levitating podium. “Just out of the third corner and everyone's GAN GAN going for the gold! OVERWHELMING POWER AND SPEED! TRULY! LIKE A CANNOOOOOONBAAAAAALL!” SCHWAAAA! The crowd roars in response to her rousing calls. All but one. Ran's eyes aren't resting on the imaging sphere, they are piercing it to one corner of the picture. “Ichika.”, she says this quietly as she squeezes her hands. The raucous cheers of the crowd around her indicate that they have no idea what she's so worried about, neither do they pay heed to the girl herself. But someone does notice her. “Hya!”, she squeaks in surprise. The touch of soft skin on her own surprises her, but does not repulse. Ran feels like she could actually sink into the warm feeling wrapping around her. She looks to her left and finds warm pools of caramel sparkling with amusement. “What's the matter?”, Squall asks the younger female. Ran feels unsure, she looks down before turning to her companion again, “Ichika isn't doing so well.”. Squall looks over at the screen, it's easy to distinguish the white unit despite the small coverage it was getting. Before it were the enlarged images of the girls charging forward or blasting each other away from the lead spot. “Mmm, he appears to be struggling.”, the blonde woman speaks lightly. The smile on her face easy and happy. Annoyance breaches the younger girl's heart at seeing how her companion was taking delight in Ichika's hardship, but she felt like she didn't have the right to condemn the blonde for it. “He's in last place. I just hope he can somehow catch up.”. “Oh he will.”, Squall's smile grew bigger. “By the fifth turn he'll have surpassed them all.”. Ran stared at the prediction with wondering eyes. Back in the control room, Yamada Maya was staring at the multiple screens that showed the conditions of the racers as well as multiple windows of the CCTV system of the track. She was quite frantic as she pressed buttons, typed keys and overall just keep up with all the crazy happening outside. Behind, Orimura Chifuyu was quite passive. Her eyes were hardened and staring intently at a particular window showing up on the monitor. “O-Orimura-senpai. Ichika-kun is-” “That idiot will be fine.”, she speaks curtly. “Just continue gathering that data. We have to provide special classes to the representative cadets after all.” “Y-Yes.” Maya closed her mouth and continued her work. Even though the conversation was short, she could tell that her senior instructor was worried. She was still an older sister after all, but at the same time she was a teacher. She had to be impartial despite wanting to cheer her own sibling on. This cold shoulder treatment must be the only way she could manage both feelings at once. Maya herself realized that she should follow this example. But despite what Maya thought, Chifuyu's mind was far from spinning such ideas. She was still staring at the screen but it wasn't at Ichika, she was sure he was capable of overcoming this situation. In the vast azure shown on the monitor she could feel it. Something was there, something was about to appear. But she had no idea what it was. The vague sense that allowed her to survive the most dangerous of situations was telling her something big was happening. But that something was not registering itself as either benevolent nor malignant. Whatever it was, she could not call off the event for a baseless feeling even she herself was unsure of. ---------------------------------- rawr! gotta gather material for the big battle!

2013-09-08, 05:09	Link #45824
Fireminer Lumine Passio Author Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Hanoi, Vietnam Age: 18	First step to a long road, which the end is S&M Yuri!!!

2013-09-08, 05:17	Link #45826
demino_hellsin That one guy Join Date: Nov 2011	Moouu!! The yuri is just a sidestory. It can be ignored. Plus Squall is not a woman. She is a Squall.

2013-09-08, 05:26	Link #45828
Fireminer Lumine Passio Author Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Hanoi, Vietnam Age: 18	Hey, could you write a snippet for Ran's though about love with Squall and Sin?

2013-09-08, 05:38	Link #45829
demino_hellsin That one guy Join Date: Nov 2011	I could but the relationship between Squall and Ran won't be too dramatic. I'm basing this off Shugo Chara of all things. I also appreciate the liking of the snippet. Gives me hope that my writing skills aren't total crap yet T.T

2013-09-08, 05:45	Link #45831
demino_hellsin That one guy Join Date: Nov 2011	But but... highschoolerxelementary was awesome XD

2013-09-08, 05:54	Link #45832
Fireminer Lumine Passio Author Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Hanoi, Vietnam Age: 18	@SEED: Well, it could be worse. At least you choose the appropriate genre and plot. Just look at us with our Code Geass fic! SHUGO CHARA!!!...Well, your choice. Always feel it a bit inferior to Sugar Sugar Rune and Tokyo Mew Mew... Girls in cat clothes...

2013-09-08, 07:06	Link #45834
Fireminer Lumine Passio Author Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Hanoi, Vietnam Age: 18	Anyone try to write a Cardcaptor Sakura/IS crossover?

2013-09-08, 07:08	Link #45835
demino_hellsin That one guy Join Date: Nov 2011	No... Just... No

2013-09-08, 07:12	Link #45837
demino_hellsin That one guy Join Date: Nov 2011	Let us test that theory when I get to australia

2013-09-08, 07:14	Link #45838
Fireminer Lumine Passio Author Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Hanoi, Vietnam Age: 18	“The kids! How are they?” A female in tight plastic-alike clothes frantically asked another woman, this one has silky purple hair. “Ichika is ok! The Doctor said that his eyes will recover, although they will left scars...And Houki...She is still struggling. She hasn’t take her medicine, and maybe the recent event is too much for her already fragile heart.” “What about Madoka?...What happened to my SISTER???” Chifuyu screamed as she saw Tabane’s avoiding gaze, and her now-brimmed with tear orbs. “I’m sorry...She fight to the end, but still a little girl couldn’t suffer so much, both physically and mentally...” “No...NO!!!” And for the first time in 5 years, Chifuyu cry. Cry for her little sister, whom Ichika and her dotted on so much. Cry for a unforeseeable future, which covered with a thick fog of Tears and Blood...Tabane grabbed her friend’s shoulder and burry Chifuyu’s face deep into her chest. “Husk, Husk...” Just like a gentle Mother comforting her Daughter. She wait for Chifuyu to calm down, her cries turn into sobs. Her voice now filled with sorrow, hesitation and entreated. “Chifuyu...I know it’s not the right thing to ask...But could you give me one last favor?” “(Sob) What is it? (Sob)” “Houki is dying, even with a Core as her heart - Her body is too weak to bear the burden...I need Madoka’s as a replacement...Please, that is our only hope!” Tabane literary kneel down and begging Chifuyu. Her eyes is almost as hollow as the darkness night, save for a thin ray of light on the corner. After a few moment of hesitation, Chifuyu also kneel down and hugged Tabane: “...Do it! I’m sure that Madoka...would gladly accept a chance to help her best friend....” She never know how wrong will this turned to be..."

2013-09-08, 07:23	Link #45840
demino_hellsin That one guy Join Date: Nov 2011	Vodka it is. Not really a fan of how sake burns. Fire, the structure of your writing needs to be fixed before it's even fit for human eyes. Put some spaces in between and/or proper paragraphing. About the proceedings, its about as painful as it gets losing a sister and all, but the execution pushes me away for some reason. Both are my personal thoughts but I strongly urge you heed the first part.