What would you do if someone harasses you?

[Vexx]

Originally Posted by Tenken's Smile

I can't block IP, unfortunately.

My friend's counselor is writing a letter to the abuser's parents.

But it hasn't ended there, guys: This b!tch is impersonating my friend, her fanpage and her artwork everywhere. She used a fake fanpage trying to argue on MY page. Just banned her again.

The tactic they use is the dirties I've ever seen: When all other bullying fails, they pretend to flip the coin and blame all the wrong doings on my friends. They were the ones who wrote the threatening comment earlier, but now they say it's my friend who did so.

heh... guess what, half the things you listed are violations of federal law and the laws of most states. .

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Vexx

heh... guess what, half the things you listed are violations of federal law and the laws of most states. .

She just digs herself deeper and deeper. But I guess right now she isn't thinking about that kind of thing.

[Honoakari]

B is obviously a troll, and I bet (s)he's having fun messing with the poor guy.

OP's friend could have at least trolled back that B "girl" instead of becoming a troll victim...

And it's too bad that OP's friend revealed his own personal details and stuff online. Now he's going to learn the hard way that being anonymous is the most important thing when surfing the Internet.

[JC...]

Originally Posted by O.D.

B is obviously a troll, and I bet (s)he's having fun messing with the poor guy.

Way to go at pointing out the obvious bro'!

Originally Posted by Otaku Guy

Now I can understand that this abuser is a child, but who is to say that once this predicament is over that they wont continue to harass other people. You have to give a punishment that will make them realize what they are doing is wrong. If that means calling the police on a child then so be it.

This guy know's what he's talking about.

[Tenken's Smile]

Being anonymous (like using a fake name) is against FB's policy. These girls were friends before.

[Samari]

Originally Posted by synaesthetic

All bullies seek a reaction. That's the whole point. They're trying to get a rise out of you. If you give them attention, if you react in any way, they're getting what they want.

It's why the best way to make them go away is to stop giving them what they want. Treat them as if they're not there. Ignore them. Pretend they don't exist. Eventually, they'll get bored and go bother someone else.

Even in the adult world, you encounter bullies. Petty people who compensate for their own insecurities by attacking others. But if their "victims" don't react the way they want, they'll get bored.

I'm a bit savage synaesthetic. I've never liked that approach. I just can't stand having to be the victim to constant harassment and torment. I'm usually on the "fight back" side. Especially if it's in reality. Even if it leads to a fistfight. That usually solves the problem in my opinion. Because there is a chance that the bully might leave you alone, and there is a chance they'll just keep bothering you. Best to teach them a lesson so they won't bother you again. People can only take so much. I don't like violence, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do, especially if all you want is to just be left alone. Of course this is after everything you've tried other than violence hasn't worked. Now I have to think about things like that because I'm over 18, but at the same time no innocent person deserved to be bullied for no reason.

[Neat Hedgehog]

Originally Posted by synaesthetic

All bullies seek a reaction. That's the whole point. They're trying to get a rise out of you. If you give them attention, if you react in any way, they're getting what they want.

It's why the best way to make them go away is to stop giving them what they want. Treat them as if they're not there. Ignore them. Pretend they don't exist. Eventually, they'll get bored and go bother someone else.

Even in the adult world, you encounter bullies. Petty people who compensate for their own insecurities by attacking others. But if their "victims" don't react the way they want, they'll get bored.

imo, that's why you give them twice as much as they've given you. For example, if someone enjoys slapping you repeatedly, you solve the situation by breaking half the bones in their head.

Bullies are coming from a position of a subordinate; they cannot do anything outright, because the people who are more powerful than they are would squash them. If you just bully them back, you are acting as powerless as they are. However, if you demonstrate that you are dominant, and can crush them with a single display of power with no repercussions, they will back off.

Not saying it's the "right" way to deal with it. Actually, it's kind of a nasty approach to things, I suppose. It is, however, quite effective when done right.

[Tenken's Smile]

Those bullies are idiotic enough to use obvious language.
What if they are cunning enough to avoid threatening language and use a fake name? Or if they live in a different country? What if the police isn't an option?
I personally would like to "crush them with a single display of power", but how?

[SaintessHeart]

Originally Posted by Tenken's Smile

Those bullies are idiotic enough to use obvious language.
What if they are cunning enough to avoid threatening language and use a fake name? Or if they live in a different country? What if the police isn't an option?
I personally would like to "crush them with a single display of power", but how?

There should be some grassroots movement in your area who has some members as lawyers.

My late-counsellor is one. And he has both degrees in psychiatry and law. And he died at 74.

[Neat Hedgehog]

Originally Posted by Tenken's Smile

Those bullies are idiotic enough to use obvious language.
What if they are cunning enough to avoid threatening language and use a fake name? Or if they live in a different country? What if the police isn't an option?
I personally would like to "crush them with a single display of power", but how?

I never said anything about police. I never said they had to be using "obvious language" either; in fact I said they avoided it to keep from being noticed by authority figures.

Fake names are child's play. Any method they use to contact you can be traced to at least the general area of origin (heck, if they send an email, you can have their home address in a matter of minutes).

And I'm just gonna be overly honest here, and say that if they live in another country and somehow have a way to really mess with you, it's because you did something stupid. You posted personal information in a public manner, entered you credit card info in a fake paypal page, etc. You're only as open as you leave yourself.

But seriously, from the description of the "bullying" being described so far, I can't say it sounds that bad. It sounds like it's just social stuff. I mean, seriously, someone is posting stuff on Facebook? Since when is Facebook "serious business?" Of course, my gauge of "harassment" and "bullying" might be a little different from yours. My gauge uses rules like:

Is it bad enough that you would kill the person to make them stop?

If "yes," then it's pretty bad.

If "no," then it's obviously not that big a deal to you, because you're not prepared to do whatever it takes to make them stop.

I'm not saying that you should kill them, because you obviously shouldn't. I'm just saying that if you don't go into something with absolutely all of your determination, you aren't going to accomplish anything. And to me, it doesn't sound like any of the people involved are willing to do than posture and throw paper wads at each other across the internet.

[ChainLegacy]

^Well, I wouldn't take it to that extreme, but yeah if someone was messing with my facebook I would care for approximately two seconds before moving on to a better use of my time.

[Vexx]

Originally Posted by Neat Hedgehog

I never said anything about police. I never said they had to be using "obvious language" either; in fact I said they avoided it to keep from being noticed by authority figures.

Fake names are child's play. Any method they use to contact you can be traced to at least the general area of origin (heck, if they send an email, you can have their home address in a matter of minutes).

And I'm just gonna be overly honest here, and say that if they live in another country and somehow have a way to really mess with you, it's because you did something stupid. You posted personal information in a public manner, entered you credit card info in a fake paypal page, etc. You're only as open as you leave yourself.

But seriously, from the description of the "bullying" being described so far, I can't say it sounds that bad. It sounds like it's just social stuff. I mean, seriously, someone is posting stuff on Facebook? Since when is Facebook "serious business?" Of course, my gauge of "harassment" and "bullying" might be a little different from yours. My gauge uses rules like:

Is it bad enough that you would kill the person to make them stop?

If "yes," then it's pretty bad.

If "no," then it's obviously not that big a deal to you, because you're not prepared to do whatever it takes to make them stop.

I'm not saying that you should kill them, because you obviously shouldn't. I'm just saying that if you don't go into something with absolutely all of your determination, you aren't going to accomplish anything. And to me, it doesn't sound like any of the people involved are willing to do than posture and throw paper wads at each other across the internet.

You're not accounting for another conduit -- slander and defamation of character. Impersonating the victim on social networks, etc. That *is* something to be concerned about...

[synaesthetic]

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

There should be some grassroots movement in your area who has some members as lawyers.

My late-counsellor is one. And he has both degrees in psychiatry and law. And he died at 74.

This. Most cities have a community law center where you can get legal advice and representation for small things for not much money (or none at all). I've already received some help from my local community law center and they were quite useful.

Now if only they could do something about this damn eviction on my record...

[grylsyjaeger]

Originally Posted by OP

What would you do if someone harasses you?

COME AT ME BRO!

/situation defused.

Well it is for me but I do weigh ninety kilograms at 179cm and look like a fighting machine.

[SaintessHeart]

Originally Posted by Tenken's Smile

Being anonymous (like using a fake name) is against FB's policy. These girls were friends before.

It isn't. I have always used fake names. And everywhere else, even when I buy stuff from overseas.

Originally Posted by synaesthetic

This. Most cities have a community law center where you can get legal advice and representation for small things for not much money (or none at all). I've already received some help from my local community law center and they were quite useful.

Now if only they could do something about this damn eviction on my record...

At least you are not in Asia. They are prejudiced against anyone who committed a legal offence, even minor ones way back into the past.

Part of the reason why I am rejected for some jobs is that I had a record for juvenile shoplifting. Some big companies don't care even if they found out (one of my ex-managers said that we all make mistakes as kids when I had a OJT), but some are apparently more asinine to look past that, and even allow themselves to be fooled by naked short-sellers in Wall Street instead.

Originally Posted by fallschirmjager

COME AT ME BRO!

/situation defused.

Well it is for me but I do weigh ninety kilograms at 179cm and look like a fighting machine.

I can come at you......ONLY if you don't do concealed carries.

[synaesthetic]

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

At least you are not in Asia. They are prejudiced against anyone who committed a legal offence, even minor ones way back into the past.

Part of the reason why I am rejected for some jobs is that I had a record for juvenile shoplifting. Some big companies don't care even if they found out (one of my ex-managers said that we all make mistakes as kids when I had a OJT), but some are apparently more asinine to look past that, and even allow themselves to be fooled by naked short-sellers in Wall Street instead.

Wow that sucks. In the States, juvenile offenses are sealed after you turn 18 and only a government background check (LEO or military enlistment) can take a peek at that stuff.

(no more offtopic... sorry!)

[grylsyjaeger]

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

I can come at you......ONLY if you don't do concealed carries.

Not outside of work hours. XD

[Tenken's Smile]

Could you help me find the direct contact information of the Facebook admin/headquarter, account analysts or those in charge of Safety and Harassment?