Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha Character Creation and Discussion

[USB500]

Originally Posted by LoweGear

DVD Special updates?

*runs faster*

Spoiler for DVD Special teaser:

"Obviously, Widuri-chan, you need serious education about lovers' dating."

"But-but-but why would I bother myself learning a thing or two about human's love affair?!"

"Because you are Hikki's devoted Servant. Of course at special times like this, you ought to become closer to your Master than you usually are."

"But how can I? I... I know nothing about..."

"Rest assured. In this case, let me help."

"Really? Will you help me?"

"Only if you agree to wear this."

So saying Hayate seized Widuri's body and proceeded to wear the frilled Goth Lolita costume over the female humanoid.

Well, yeah. That's what Hayate bought at the Lolita Shop.

Now I need to find the suitable Widuri in Goth Lolita dress picture. also, Goth Lolita Frieda is fine, too.

*runs*

EDIT:
page claim!

[LoweGear]

Originally Posted by USB500

Spoiler for DVD Special teaser:

"Obviously, Widuri-chan, you need serious education about lovers' dating."

"But-but-but why would I bother myself learning a thing or two about human's love affair?!"

"Because you are Hikki's devoted Servant. Of course at special times like this, you ought to become closer to your Master than you usually are."

"But how can I? I... I know nothing about..."

"Rest assured. In this case, let me help."

"Really? Will you help me?"

"Only if you agree to wear this."

So saying Hayate seized Widuri's body and proceeded to wear the frilled Goth Lolita costume over the female humanoid.

Well, yeah. That's what Hayate bought at the Lolita Shop.

Now I need to find the suitable Widuri in Goth Lolita dress picture. also, Goth Lolita Frieda is fine, too.

*runs*

EDIT:
page claim!

And so begins The Education of Widuri in the... important aspects of human interaction

With a most able teacher in Hayate, nothing can go wrong



*runs*

[Aaron008R]

Originally Posted by arkhangelsk

Is it too late to comment on this? This looks fun. I am taking a masochistic attitude already to 7Arcs' treatment of Hayate...

No. By all means, say what you want and think about the matter. This isn't a closed discussion.

Ultimately, the thread decides, and I see that most people are desperately trying to forget the canon in every way possible, so it is going to pass, but for what its worth, here's my more canonically-based take.

Frankly, I never expected a day like this would come. Let's see...

Quite frankly, this is entirely the wrong approach for Hayate. "Range attack" should be separated as Hectometric and Decametric.

Hayate actually has a precious near Ownership over the Hectometric range covering into the Kilometric. I'm not sure how much h3xx went into the OCs but if we just take canon combat (which this thread is supposed to align to), people that can even SHOOT to the hectometric ranges are rare (never mind actually hitting). It was considered an impossible shot to shoot to ~100m (Ep5 A's). The only other character who undisputedly shot to hectometrics was Dieci (and she's a borg shooting at a helo). Hayate, on the other hand, has that as a regular battle zone.

Makes sense.

Without Reinforce, she'll probably lack long-range sensors that will support attacks to the kilometric depth, but a hectometric shoot by eye is still possible (teach her how to use a stadiametric rangefinder so she knows whether to detonate the rounds at 500 or 600m). SO when possible, she should in fact stay at range where her opponent can't even reply and use her huge magical reserve to area bombard her opponent into submission.

Frankly, the best way for Hayate to cover her decametric butt within the bounds of known abilities, IMO, is simply to eliminate easy access to the decametric - the "Wall of Steel" approach. Raise a shield, then Fire Hraesvelgr or Diabolic Emission at her own position. That won't win simulated fights, but in a RL situation will buy time for others to come and pick her chestnuts out of the fire.

Yes. I don't find anything wrong with most of these...

And in my case, I guess it's more of just using author's freedom. But I'll try to make it as accurate to canon as much as I can to a certain degree. So I'll keep this in mind.

Theorizing will require the use of at least one canon observation for a base. Since you didn't propose any and I don't remember any, wouldn't fantasizing be more appropriate? They were pretty final with the whole Lose to Carol thing (and no, I don't think she was joking at all given the context - I must wonder what "facial expressions" the pro-joke crowd expected for a non-joke response. Rein is sighing in utter despair, and Teana is desperate to leave because she obviously touched a sore spot). They didn't just restrict it to melee, just one on one (which includes melee).

However, I will grant that given 2 years of work, she could improve to adequacy, but see below.

Contending some of the facts here, I think your right. If one were to ask me for an example, I would cite episode 25 (going straight into a gamut of drones) as one instance, but they never showed anything after her swinging her staff so it's very inconclusive. At least to me, that's not very uniform for them. And it certainly does give some implications that one can run on, whether or not their accuracy is in question or not.

I suppose that's OK, but you might look at it from another angle. It might actually have been less of a character assassination for Hayate to have neglected her melee skills for so long if her body isn't really up to practicing the body moves required for melee. Maybe we don't see her exercising because she gets exhausted within 5 minutes of exercise.

:nods: Probably. But then, that's also speculation. To tell you the truth, I'm basing it on how she jumped down a pretty high van in episode 2. Totally shoddy for a basis, I know. But it's better than nothing. At least in my version she doesn't have your proposed condition. And until conclusive evidence that she's asthmatic (just comparison) in canon, I guess it's still alright, yes?

Actually, it does compute. The canon actually suggests that magical defenses are really more about Proper Construction than Raw Power, which is why Yunno has great shields despite being an A-rank. Since Hayate has problems with magical precision and speed, it is entirely possible that even with lots of power, she cannot construct it into an adequate architecture. You don't need an excess of material to make a strong bridge - you need good design and good construction, otherwise, you have a pile of concrete.

Losing to Caro actually does require severe difficulties in Hayate's magical defense.

Okay. But then, I'm making some theories on the fly here to at least accomodate some some of my ideas. One is a kind of barrier that just plainly releases energy that does not need much work of molding. Compensating with a lot of power released (she could afford it) to cover up the lack of construction. It goes directly opposite the bridge example you gave me, I know. But it could still work somehow.

You are really fighting the canon now... if we blow away all her single combat weaknesses to an emphasis on becoming a Commander, and StrikerS is the result, what is your basis for saying she's going to improve to Good/Excellent in just two extra years.

Okay... So maybe not. But then again, this is fanfiction, ne? If the basis were myself, I'm no expert in tactics at all. And what I would bring out in the future would most certainly have some serious flaws if critiqued by persons such as yourself and Mirificus. But I at least know and can see canon made some grievous mistakes, and I'm not promising at all that I can correct such by just giving inserted canon characters a year or two to improve. But still, I'm just going to find a middle-ground. I can't compare to Wild Goose, Kagerou, Tk, Liingo, and some others about proper tactical scenes. But in this case, it might even be slightly helpful since if canon shows them to be so unfit for RL standards, then I can at least raise the bar a bit to make it more canon-like. I.E. my works would most likely be dumbed down RL tactical fare, but I'll try to at least make it better than what canon has shown. It's still relatively safe and possibly feel at least 'right' for canon, and I'm willing to accept advice from those who know better than me.

Good speed is fine, but I suggest poor acceleration (which is related to agility) and a slow-ramp up (consider a steam boiler plant versus a gas turbine plant).

Noted. But from what they've shown, all the four who jumped out of the Arthra accelerated at pretty much at the same pace after henshin-ing. Of course, I'm not saying that she should be as quick as the others, but at least there's still a possible leeway for a flight performance that looks a bit brighter than what you suggested.

I suggest you beef up Tiara. Hayate is locked thanks to canon, but Tiara is your creation. Blame every improvement you want to make in spellcasting and decametric combat on Tiara's "improved magic control".

That's exactly what I'm doing! To a much lesser degree, at least. I don't want to make it look like everything can be solved just by getting a great device upgrade. And yes, Tiara does exactly what you mentioned, plus some more. BTW, do you think that an option for forcefully sucking out power (via Schwertkreuz, maybe?) from the user to be released and molded later is fine? I'm going along the lines that Hayate can't tap into her power, as in having problems drawing it out, but at least not using it. Or maybe should I just attribute the molding part into the device/s' doing as well?

Emphasis is one thing. Not beating Caro is another. Second, a good officer is prepared for all eventualities (such as the enemy having brains of their own, or an unfavorable tactical situation). Third, the ultimate shaft is that she isn't even that good of a commander.

I'm not going to argue with you about this at all. Since I mainly agree.

While Aaron made a superb defense here, I'll still like to object to the idea that adult Nanoha and Fate were portrayed as "flawless". When you consider their jobs, all three of them arguably failed miserably. Hayate's failures as a commander are too rehashed in episode threads to recount here (just search for posters "arkhangelsk" or "Mirificus" in those threads and you'll immediately be on a Hayate-bashing discussion)

It's heartening to know that my defense at least amounted to something to deserve superb as a classification. And yes, I've seen so much of your and Mirificus' bashings since I was watching all the episode threads post-per-post as well.

How much progress did Fate make as an Investigator? None visible. Verossa might make a one line note of Fate and Nakajima's investigation, but from the screen, you might as well conclude that Verossa solved in 5 mintues what Fate couldn't solve for half a year.

Nanoha as a trainer ... well, she was forced to shoot Teana. Ironically, Teana was arguably the best-developed of the four. The rest of them grew in combat skills, but psychologically and tactically they are still... sigh. They don't even have discipline.

In decisions, what about that near-tragic decision to split up inside the Cradle. If what happened could actually be called a success, Hayate is a great commander.

I think Kagerou's reply below sums up my opinion as well. Of course, I still don't know as much as you guys.

Fate has horrible moral-psychological preparation for combat, as proved when Scarlietti nearly broke her. Only a lame lovey scene saved her from defeat. Pathetic if you ask me.

Yep. But I like to attribute it as standard Mahou Shoujo fair. It's still an integral part of the series as much as it is technicalized...

The difference is that Nanoha and Fate actually had strengths and 7Arcs doesn't seem so intent to make it look like they aren't even trying.

Which just goes to prove the botched-up job.

Thanks for going over this, ark. It may not exactly be very compatible with what I've been doing, but there will be some good things to come out of this once I get the fic going. It's a good standard to review in case I have some balancing issues.

Originally Posted by Kagerou

In regards to the whole thing, I really only have to say this: The reason that these things seem ridiculous to us is because we at least have a clue when it comes to stuff like this. 7arcs doesn't know shit about shit when it comes to tactics and whatnot; they only did what they thought was right, which, as people like me and you can see, is utter crap.

That's certainly one way of putting it. Can I ask for your help at some points, Kagerou?


I'll tackle the rest of the backlog later.

[tshouryuu]

Originally Posted by dkellis

Personally, my reasons for not replying to works are just as follows:

Chiefly, I'm used to giving actual detailed feedback. This means that every single word will be scrutinized, and I'll point out every spelling or grammatical error. I'll point out trivial plot holes, argue about writing styles, and generally take the whole thing very seriously. (Mind you, I also make suggestions for improvement; if I can't personally think of a way to improve something, even if I don't like it, I leave it be.)

That approach does not seem suited for this thread.

I usually keep my opinions to myself, because even though I'd be overjoyed if someone did the same to me, I don't know if anyone else here will be as welcoming of having their hard work ripped to shreds. And if they happen to be having a Bad Day, I don't want to be the one they take it out on.

Actually I prefer this approach of yours. I'm of the opinion that if an idea cannot withstand from being ripped to shreds, then the idea itself was flawed to begin with and thus need to be revised no matter how long it may take or how much more extra work I've have to put in. Stubbornly defending my ideas will not make me a better thinker nor a better writer and your scrutinizing ways help bring up the level of writing in a person and help polish the story to be something better. If I cannot take criticism, then I've got no business writing and showing others what I've written in the first place.

Originally Posted by dkellis

Actual replies time.



Mostly I wanted to know why "left-wing", since, at least in the modern interpretation, what you described is not very left-wing, but is usually seen to be right-wing (not due to definitions, but because of politicians who identify as right-wing). Now, historically (not very old history, too) some politicians (in various countries) who are technically "left-wing" have expressed similar sentiments, so it's not incorrect as such, but you're either going to have to explain what sort of "left-wing" you mean, or avoid loaded political terms altogether.

It's a semantics thing. Your description there is enough for me.

Okaaay... I not too sure what exactly you mean but I think I got the gist of it. So you're saying I need to describe what is the agenda of the Left Wing Extremists?

Originally Posted by dkellis

An external organization is "better", in my view, mostly because it requires less dancing around potential plot holes. An internal rogue faction could work, but it has all the problems of answering why they haven't gotten caught or even suspected yet, and how they got that far without someone accidentally revealing some secret.

The problem with a conspiracy is that the members all need to be completely dedicated to their cause, since it takes just one traitor to blow the whole thing. Yes, the traitor may not survive their treachery, but by then it's too late. Therefore, the conspiracy needs to have as many of the following as possible: high-ranking (and thus "above suspicion") conspirators, fanatical devotees to the cause, and as few members as possible. The more people who are involved, the more likely a secret will get out.

Hmmm... actually I was thinking of something a little different. I was planning to have alot of very low-ranking people like the common enforcers who lost friends team mates to powerful criminals, poor leadership etc.. , clerks in the records departments, junior scientists, assistants to more powerful people etc... all these people will be carefully selected. To me, the more high-rankers you have, the more scrutiny you'll be under. It is my belief that most of the lower ranks are not actively being scrutinized as opposed to the higher ranks. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

Originally Posted by dkellis

As for the plan, well, after they subjugate the non-administered worlds, who's going to govern them and stop them from rebelling? How are they going to go about the conquest in the first place? Taking just Earth as an example, we have the much-dreaded projectile weapons, and we also have nukes, as well as military leaders short-sighted enough to want to use them. So before they take over the non-administered world, they're going to need all the resources of the TSAB and at least some non-aggression from the TSAB's allies like Saint Church. Which means some sort of building up period, since, yanno, they'll just have finished a civil war.

The plan is to conquer Midchilda and at least neutralize their allies before going out after the non administrated worlds. This attack on Midchilda will be very deadly as the VUDs will be activated very suddenly and those that managed to fight off the "possession" attempts will still be hindered by the VUDs in them as well as facing impossible odds as the mass majority will not be able to fight off the VUDs "possession" attempts.

The conquest of the TSAB main HQ in the dimensional sea is also a critical step in order to gain access to the Infinite Library as well as the warships. An attack here will happen simultaneously with the one on Midchilda. In order to conquer the non administrated worlds, those warships will be needed. Then I'll start to consolidate my position and start building up my forces for the next step, by getting resources from uninhibited worlds.

As for the conquest of the non administrated worlds, it should be simple enough although it might not reach this step as I think the heroes will counter attack before I even reach this point. Anyway, taking Earth for example, even with "the much-dreaded projectile weapons, and we also have nukes, as well as military leaders short-sighted enough to want to use them", it shouldn't be much of a problem.

First, I think it is canonly proven that Earth is unable to detect the TSAB warships else they would have detected the Asura in orbit during the events in A's. Second, I'm not planning to land any troops but launch attacks from orbit instead. I don't think they can shoot something they cannot detect. Also, I got the VUDs, which by design, are used to take over an enemy's forces and use it against them. I'm probably cheating but the VUDs is most important element in my plan.

And if those short sighted military leaders decided to use nukes against those "infected"... well this poses a moral problem to Wild Goose's and Kagerou's OCs whom if I remember correctly, want to prevent something like what happen to their world from happening on other worlds... Would they aid the Terrans or work against them :evilgrin:

Originally Posted by dkellis

This is why I postulated a leader, who is charismatic enough to create those fanatics, and convince the high-ranking personnel that it would all work out, despite the obvious illegality and immense impracticality of the whole thing.

But since that leader needs to go about creating this conspiracy in the first place, they're obviously not charismatic enough to just take over the TSAB by words rather than by conflict.

This, incidentally, could work anyway, as evidenced by the coup d'etats in our own Earth history. But the end results of the coups tend not to be stable enough to go looking for trouble elsewhere, as opposed to keeping the peace at home.

Like I've said, I'm still at the thinking stage. Most likely I've to use an external organization like what you and others have said. I think I'll need to watch more Gundam 00 and figure out how Celestial Being actually managed to do it.

Please poke more holes in my ideas so I can deliver a quality story. If possible, could you suggest which parts can be salvaged for use?

[Sheba]

Hmmm... actually I was thinking of something a little different. I was planning to have alot of very low-ranking people like the common enforcers who lost friends team mates to powerful criminals, poor leadership etc.. , clerks in the records departments, junior scientists, assistants to more powerful people etc... all these people will be carefully selected.

Oh my god....

FIGHT CLUB!

[AdmiralTigerclaw]

Feh, didn't feel like working on story tonight, so after Roland, I played some game, then got in the mood for technical hashing...

so I present to you..

Spoiler for THIS:

LANCE RIFLE


Lance Rifle: Long Range Concentrated Magic Projection Device

"Designated the 'LANCE RIFLE' by it's developer, Cooper, the Lance is the latest in high precision, long range magical combat devices. Unlike conventional devices, the Lance Rifle is not meant to double for melee combat. It is expressly, a projectile launcher... Designed to have the magic bolt capacity to strike a target at twenty-thousand meters. An insane range almost never seen in magical combat scenarios. However the Lance wasn't designed with conventional magical combat in mind.
Under the direction of Major General William Roland, the Lance was designed to increase the safety of the user by allowing them to engage targets at distances FAR outstripping nearly any other mage in the battlefield. The ability to effectively SNIPE a target with effective magical power before they ever get close enough to .

To achieve the desired capability however, the Lance must first overcome Three fundamental problems.

1 - Inherent Degredation of Attack magic at extreme distances.

2 - Inherent low velocity of magical attacks leading to long time-on-target gaps and missed shots.

3 - Inherent weakness of attack magic at those ranges.

To overcome these problems, hybrid concepts based on conventional weapons were examined. Barring the use of physical materials as projectiles, energy based systems were reviewed. After some testing, it was decided that the best concept was a variant on the classic ion partical canon system. However, to ensure compliance with TSAB law, conventional ion plasma throwing was reversed. Making the system a loose electron gun.
Air is taken into the intake manifolds along the sides of the barrel just ahead of the cartridge loader.
Using a system similar to an Ion pump, magic is used to strip the air of its electrons and to store it in a magical packet in the shot chamber. The resulting magically contained electron package contains a sizable amount of electrical energy potential. Since electrons have next to no mass, and register almost no physical use of space, the electron packet is actually quite small, and almost infinitely light, no bigger than the eraser end of a pencile weighing less then a hair, which makes it easy for the magic containment on it to hold over quite a considerable distance.

To get over the problems of projecting this magical shot over long distances at high velocities, the byproduct ionized air is rapidly heated as it is separated into the primer chamber, becoming a dense high energy plasma.
Upon firing, the Plasma is released, instantly expanding with more force than chemical mass explosive powders used in conventional weapons, propelling the infinitely light, super dense electron packet from the barrel.

The resulting plasma shockwave produces considerable physical recoil, and is quite dangerous to individuals at close range if they are near the muzzel. Potentially suffering burns and blast injuries if physically caught in the shockwave.

Once fired, the shot packet travels around two-thousand meters per second, covering its maximum effective range in just ten. Once it strikes the target or a barrier, or even an AMF, the magical containment package is broken, releasing the dense electron core in a flash similar to a mid level lightning spell, yet delivered to an impact area the size of a pinky. The extreme heat release from the electron discharge melts solid materials, the electrical burst damages unshielded electronics, and the side-effect, contactlvaporization, creates a small explosive shock with potential chained side effected ranging from material to material. Against barriers, while only average in power, the highly concentrated impact point overwhelms the immediate spot, increasing the potential to rupture the barrier and cause it to shatter.
Against an unprotected or non-magical person (which the Lance should never have to, and morally never intend to be applied) such side effects would most certainly be fatal.

Due to the light nature and high negetive electric charge of the shot, some care has to be taken in aiming. Unlike pure magical beams, the Lance is subject to disruptive effects, such as minor deviations at range from gravitational, thermal, and magnetic interference, as well as potential deviations at range from strong winds.
Targetting is provided by a SmartScope linked to whatever Device AI the user has, which does rapid calculations and corrections based on wind currents, thermal interference, magnetic and gravitational interference, planetary surface curvature, and even micromanagement of physical tremble of the shooter before adjusting the target's marker point.

Thanks to the heavy focus on electron packet delivery, the Lance Rifle's been officially classified as a LIGHTNING Element weapon by TSAB Department of Device Management.

Another interesting feature, should the mage will it, the magic containment packet can be made to dissipate at any range, resulting in a small explosion capable of startling, sometimes injuring opponents.


Lance Rifle:
Abilities (Below is Subject to balance and alteration to reflect how it performs.)

Lance Bolt (Standard 'aim and shoot' round.)
Charge Time: A
Speed SSS
Power: C
Refire Rate: B
Range: A (2000 meters)
Accuracy: SS


Hyperlance Extension (THE kill shot.)
(+ 3 Cartridge Load)
Charge Time: D
Speed: SSS
Power: B to AAA (Depending on Cartridge Load Level and Mage quality.)
Refire Rate: E
Range: SS (20,000 meters)
Accuracy: SS

I didn't realize until I was mid-way through that I turned it into a lightning element weapon.

[Kha]

When civilians are in trouble, they call the TSAB. But when the TSAB is in trouble, they call...

CLERIC-KNIGHTS



The best there was, the best there is, and the best there ever will be.
Go anywhere, kill anything.
They are most comfortable knee deep in Hell while kicking ass big time.
They answer to no one and no one, except the Light itself.

~~~~~~

The Cleric-Knight is not your Ace Enforcer. He is not meant for petty arrests and investigations.
He is the relentless weapon of the Light that never hesitates, never regrets.
His sole aim is the purification of the infected and the extermination of great evils.
He is the crusader, the Judge, the executioner rolled into one.
Light help you if they ever come for you.

~~~~~~

Daemons, Heretics, Evil. Your time is over.



CLERIC-KNIGHTS

The buck stops here.



~~~~~~


Authorized by the Regional Government of Belka.

~~~~~~

The following is an excerpt from a file detailing the nature of the Cleric-Knights in general:

Spoiler for Full Codex:

History

Legend has it that the Cleric-Knights were founded on the order of the God Empress herself, at some point between the start of the Heresy and the events of the Second Founding when the God Empress disappeared, and the bloodline leading to the well-loved Sankt Kaiser came to power over all of the Holy Belka Imperiallum. Though it is uncertain about the details, it is thought that the Empress ordered the creation of a force designed to fight the daemons of Chaos. It was not until after the Heresy that a force specializing in fighting Chaos proved necessary.

Originally they were thought not to be descended from any of the original twenty Space Marine Legions, having been created from a unique gene-seed, rumored to come from the God Empress of Belka directly. This gift was responsible.

Designated Chapter 999, sharing the same number as the pages of the Tome of Devotion they represent and protect, the Cleric-Knights at first answered only to the Kaiser, but later, they were permanently attached by order of the last Sankt Kaiser to the trans-racial organization Celestial Being.

The Cleric-Knights are unique among the Space Marines as the only chapter to have full knowledge of the dark secrets of evil, be it Chaos, Alien or Heretic - they alone completely know of and understand the existence of Daemons and of their appearance in the real world, and they alone are best equipped to battle and defeat Belka's most terrible enemy. While other Chapters and Imperium forces have some knowledge of Chaos and how to fight them, only the Cleric Knights are privy to the darkest, deepest secrets known of all beings of evil and how to defeat them.

In the Chapter's long history until Belka's tragic implosion, the Cleric Knights hold the highest honor of all: not one Cleric Knight has ever turned to Chaos, been infested, or betrayed the Kaiser.

In MC 0071, Kha's remarkable victory in the Pilgrim Duels, the discovery of several individuals gifted with the Light of retribution and the subsequent recovery of the lost Tome of Devotion facilitated the refounding of the Cleric-Knights under the Saint Church, and remains the only overt branch of the long-forgotten protector of Ordered Space, Celestial Being.

Organisation

While the Cleric-Knights are technically members of the TSAB, they do not involve themselves with the ordinary activities of the Enforcers. They instead operate independently, working only on orders from, but not restricted to, the High Council and the Church Council, as well as a voice they all address as the "Light".

Rumor has it that this "Voice" is a massive supercomputer network scattered throughout Ordered Space using the most advanced form of Oracle computing to integrate current and past events to predict future events. This legendary machine codenamed "VEDA" has never been found, and the Knights fiercely deny it's existence.

Each successful recruit is given a suit of Knight's Aegis Armor and a Nemesis Force Device, and is assigned to a squad under the leadership of a Justicar. The Cleric-Knight can ascend to the position of Justicar, and then from this point may be awarded the Crux Terminatus of the Cleric-Knights (which would also be accompanied by a suit of thick-plated Tactical Dreadnought armour). Elite soldiers within the Terminator corps can be promoted to the position of Brother-Captain, or even to the position of Grand Master. Multiple Cleric-Knights may hold the rank of Grand Master at the same time, working together to guide the Chapter as a form of ruling council. At all times, a Grand Master of the Cleric-Knights holds a seat on the Church Council.

Headquarters

The Cleric-Knights' fortress-monastery is currently being constructed on the green Midchilda moon, Vida. This will eventually become home to the Tome of Devotion, the Belka's foremost repository of information relating to Daemons and Daemonology, and the bastion of Cleric-Knight power. It is currently in the hands of Grand Master Kha.

Although Vida is the Chapter's homeworld, squads of Cleric-Knights are scattered throughout the galaxy, in order to best respond to the threat of evil, wherever it may strike.

Unlike almost all other TSAB Forces, the Cleric-Knights do not follow normal tenants in the matter of force organisation. Due to the unique manner in which the Cleric-Knights are recruited and trained, each warrior progresses through a series of pre-ordained ranks and will operate in a particular squad led by an individual of higher rank rather than being assigned to a particular battle company. These squads may be called upon to act independently from the main body of the Cleric-Knight force, and have to operate at full efficiency even when light years away from the rest of their chapter. As such the leader of each Cleric-Knight squad is obeyed immediately and without question by those under his command.

Recruitment

Considering the role of the Grey Knights, potential recruits are put through even more stringent trials than other TSAB and/or Saint Church trainees. The recruits are drawn from across the galaxy as and where they are discovered and upon volunteering are whisked to New Antioch for testing.

The most advanced training techniques, equipment, and counselling are available to condition the Pages. Traditionally, each recruit must, through the course of the curriculum, pass the six hundred and sixty six Rituals of Detestation, to prove that he is capable of withstanding horrors that would break even the greatest of 'normal' Enforcers. But due to the lack of both time and numbers, a modified course similar to the TSAB Rangers program is used to give Cleric-Knight pages their basics before they enter the quest-related Belka Knight accreditation system, after which they can attempt clearing the Rituals. Only those who have completed all trials can be considered to be promoted to Terminators.

One of the main criteria for selection is that the recruit must show great magic potential, as the entire Chapter is made up of Convocators who's mana affinity is that of the divine Light.

Once accepted into the chapter and undergoing the standard process to convert into a member of the Saint Guard, the new Cleric-Knight is enchanted with hexagrammic and pentagrammic purity wards that cover his entire body. These are invisible to the naked eye, but at the Cleric-Knight's will, these will project the powerful "Warding" field, making him a harder target to harm.

Unlike 'normal' TSAB mages, Cleric Knight pages are awarded a suit of Aegis Armor, a consecrated device (if they don't already have one) and are immediately pressed into service. They then move through the ranks as detailed above. This is likely due to their few numbers.

Combat Doctrine

Most engagements will involve a single squad of Grey Knights supporting an Naval Enforcer, or a local force. For the most serious incursions, several squads of Cleric-Knights are collected around the presence of a senior Brother-Captain, or even a Grand Master. In these circumstances, tactical squads will attempt to establish a beachhead in the tainted area, before the Terminators and senior Enforcers teleport down to the surface and engage the difficult bogey.

The very presence of Cleric-Knights upon the field of battle is painful to Daemons and their kin. The divine purity and sonorous chants of detestation repel the daemonic and make it hard for them to maintain a grip in the physical universe. This means that Cleric-Knights gain immense advantages against Chaotic opposition, but the high expense of an individual Cleric-Knight leads to its own tactical problems - for all their power, Cleric-Knights will always be badly outnumbered and must focus upon fast application of force.

The Cleric-Knight force also contains a high proportion of troops who can teleport into battle, a high-risk maneuver which can turn the tide of a battle if deployed well.

Equipment

As the Cleric-Knights are an elite chapter engaged in fighting Daemonic infestation, they have access to specialised equipment not available to other forces. These range from the stereotypical enchanted crosses to state of the art Cardinal transport helicopters that have been consecrated and refitted with powerful ultralite field generators and ECM to the indomitable relic from the past, the Landraider Crusader.

Cleric-Knights, due to their very varied weapons curriculum, may also utilise standard TSAB Devices or equipment, although this is much rarer and is usually only in rather sudden emerging emergencies.

Nemesis Force Devices

These are sanctified Force Devices, usually taking the form of a sword, halberd or spear. Sometimes a rare Nemesis hammer or mace will appear, though Nemesis weapons can take the form of any close combat weapon. Each is consecrated and anointed with sacred oils, divinely charged, and inscribed with religious scripts that are anathema to Daemons.

Newer Nemesis Force Devices, due to recognition of Gunslingers and other ranged magic subschools like bows and crossbows, have taken the form of anything from longbows to staves to rifles. Most notable is the sentokijin Justicar Foy Rokker, whose entire body is a Nemesis Force Device.

Like all Force weapons available to the sacred warriors of Belka, the power of the weapon itself directly corresponds to the divine talent of the wielder, and as the Cleric-Knights are some of the greatest Diviners known, the Nemesis Force devices are truly devastating weapons in their hands.

Because of this, the entire chapter is able to wield these, and so every member is a hero in his own right. However, due to the inexperience of younger recruits, the Nemesis Force Device is limited to lower ranks before being issued, and so will be weaker in terms of strength than their higher level counterparts. As the recruits rise in range, so will the limits be removed. This makes the weapon effectively "evolve" as the bearer progresses through the ranks and masters the weapon.

In the hands of a Grand Master, these Force Devices are some of the strongest in Ordered Space. For example, Kha's Tausend Kreuz is more than capable of beheading a Nurgle Daemon Prince or a Hive Tyrant with a single cut.

Aegis Armour

The Cleric-Knights unique suits of magical plate armor and Terminator-rank plate armour are incredibly well crafted; anointed and inscribed with prayers and wards, ritually consecrated and magically charged. Working in tandem with the Cleric-Knights' formidable divine powers, the Aegis Armour protects the wearers from the corrupting effects of infestation and the Immaterium. The armour's ritual blessings and sacred resonance also serve to confound the perception of any enemy, resulting in an effect called the Shrouding.

As well as its sacred properties, the armour itself incorporates a Stormbolter which, when combined with the skill of the Knights themselves, can be used with equal effectiveness in both ranged and melee combat.

The Libram of Devotion

A copy of this book, its contents drawn from material taken from the Tome of Devotion along with the battle rites of the Cleric-Knights, is carried into battle by every single Cleric-Knight in his hammerspace-like Lunar Fold. Like the Tome, the Knight has to pre-load spells into his Nemesis Force device prior to meeting combat, such that a well-planned Knight only has to materialize the Tome in events that he has not forseen.

Ships

Like other TSAB forces, the Cleric-Knights' primary mode of transportation is the Class VII strike cruiser. However, the Cleric-Knights' ships are specially modified in several ways. One is the hexagrammic and anti-daemonic wards that are built into the entire ship from bridge to landing struts and every bulkhead in between, similar to those that are magically etched into the skin of the Cleric-Knights themselves, that lend the ship added protection from the forces of Chaos.

Also, the Cleric-Knights' strike cruisers are equipped with significantly more advanced armour than the ships of other TSAB forces. This is to allow them to close with more powerful foes and reach their destination safely, since the Cleric-Knights must fight more powerful enemies than the standard TSAB force.

Finally, the landing and drop pod bays are enlarged to be able to deploy larger numbers of Knights faster.

The modifications to their ships are made possible by two factors. The first is their ideological headquarter's location in New Antioch, allowing access to technology that was forgotten or is impossible to replicate anywhere else in the Inner Space. This also explains the high quality of all their equipment. The other reason is the resources that the High Council gives the Cleric-Knights due to their various acolates won during the baptism of fire in the Pilgrim Duels, the amount of public goodwill, as well as their pledge to locate, retrieve and consecrate the Sankt Kaiser's Cradle.

(That third reason is supposed to act as an insurance against the increasingly erratic Jail Scagletti, which eventually paid off. Too bad the High Council wasn't around ti realize one of their choices were right.)

Abilities of the Cleric-Knights

The Cleric-Knights have many abilities that TSAB grunts lack.

Spells in the Libram of Devotion

These are based on divinity, are quoted from the Libram they carry and work on a gestalt principle. These skills as such are common to all Cleric-Knights, and work on top of whatever skill they have already acquired, making the proverbial mountain of skills anything but typical of a Cleric-Knight.

Basic Combat Teleportation Proficiency

A Cleric-Knight is able to blink through distances by temporarily opening a directed path through the Warp with his faith. This allows him to literally jump from safety and into the thick of combat, not to mention the deadzones of mages, very quickly. As a Cleric-Knight grows in strength, so does his mastery of this skill.

The Shrouding

Through prayer, illusion magic and the combined gestalt power of the Cleric-Knights, they are able to blind their enemies with their sheer faith. For an enemy to fire upon a Cleric-Knight, he must first determine if he can spot the unit.

Kha is able to use this ability and his traced Force Silhouette spell to render himself completely undetectable even to the advanced senses of Uno.

Ward Field

A secondary defence field provided by the Light that is activated by focus on the Cleric-Knight's part. A low level of alertness augments the passive field defence a normal mage has, and higher levels increase defence but at the same time weighs down on the Knight's stamina. This is the reason why Cleric-Knights are harder to damage, and are unaffected by AMF.

Divine Inquisition

Several times a day, a Cleric-Knight can call upon the Naaru to stun all the guilty around him and temporarily put them in a "penitent" state, allowing him to exact judgement. A Knight of higher rank and divinity can call upon this offensive divine intervention more times, but there is a chance that the Naaru ignore the Knight's call, especially if he is wrong in judgement.

Ranks

The Cleric-Knight hierarchy is drastically different from TSAB Forces.

Battle Brother: The standard gray knight. Equipped not only with the famed Aegis suit, the standard armament of a Cleric-Knight includes a wrist-mounted Lanstar Bolter of perfect craftsmanship and the Nemesis Force Device. Each weapon is unique to its owner having been attuned to his particular psychic signal. They can take the form of a Halberd, Sword, Axe, Hammer, Mace, Maul, Scythe, Morning Star or even a Gun, Bow, or Crossbow. Newly accepted battle brothers will be inducted into fresh squads led by a Justicar, eventually developing their abilities in leadership, weaponry, psychic ability and armed/unarmed combat. Upon demonstration of above average ability in one of these areas they take their place in either the assault Teleport, heavy Purgation squads or become Justicars themselves to lead new batches of recruits.

Justicar: Justicars are the leaders of the latest recruits to the Cleric-Knights. This is the first step on the path to becoming a Grand Master. Justicars also lead Terminator squads, although such leaders are usually referred to as 'Brother Captain' (more detailed below).

Terminator: The battle-brothers wearing Terminator soul-forged plate armor are the elite of the Cleric-Knights. In addition to possessing greater armor, they also use their divine powers actively as opposed to passively in combat. They also have the same special weapons options - Macrowave and Lanstar Bolter(although they are wrist-mounted rather than two handed) - as their younger battle-brothers but some exceptionally strong Knights may wield thunder hammers and storm shields.

Brother-Captain: Usually the leader of a Cleric-Knight Terminator squad, he may also be the force commander. Like his brethren, he wields a Nemesis Force Device in combat, and also possesses considerable divine powers.

Grand Master: The highest rank attainable by a Cleric-Knight, a Grand Master is - by virtue of his esteemed rank - a member of the Church Council. A master daemonslayer, the Grand Master always wears Terminator soul-forged plate armor, though the number of layers may vary, and wields a force device in combat, and is also a powerful Divine Convocator. Few, if any, Daemons have been able to stand against a Grand Master and survive.

~~~~~~

Notable Members of the Cleric-Knights and Celestial Being

| | | | | |

PS: Oh shoot me for making this character shrine. :P This post made me go @_@ at the sheer complexity. I did something like that before, but to rebuild it was really >_<.

[Nightengale]

Originally Posted by Tormenk

So that's how Aurion became one of the Ala Altra.

Fixed.

Originally Posted by Tormenk

Though I wonder who can share the dynamics of the relationship between Keroko and her uke partner. Since it does involve a fair of amount of pain.

... Somehow Sousuke comes into mind in every way...

A Sunohara/Sousuke hybrid of a character...

Originally Posted by Tormenk

Not as much as I want to see more of TomoyoxTomoya, especially after reading the Tomoyo After manga.

The only thing I'm going to say to that is...

Damn you KEY.

Originally Posted by FieryAeon

So Ala Altra is not even affiliated with the TSAB?

They are, but the nicknames, the fame and their 'Ala Altra' existence is solely a 'small legend in a small world'.

Originally Posted by FieryAeon

Which novel is this? Is it translated? I only read up to FMP: COMO.

Latest one, titled Nick of Time, which is implied to be the 2nd to last FMP 'serious' novel.

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

There's specialisation... and then there's stupidity. Franz has never quite understood why Hayate acts the way she does. Despite being a pwn puppy, he's the best shot in the OFM with the MA5C. He sucks with the battle rifle and sucks ass with the sniper rifle, but is still capable using them. Just not very well... He actually shoots better with iron sights than without, strangely.

It's even more stupid considering that Nanohaverse does have a system that allows one to train while work. I mean... 9 year old Nanoha pretty much does 'regulated' training while doing school homework and field ones on more practical assestments.

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

Yes, family drama.

Yuuno's relationship with Vivio.... will be revealed. But he won't be having that much time in Cranagan, because the OFM base is far far away from Cranagan... and he's Alpha Platoon's medic/designated marksman.

Originally Posted by Erio

HOLY SHI--!!!

WANT.

I intend to.

Originally Posted by Erio

Now the question is, why would she suddenly decide to take up a more active role in combat? This could be a good idea for your scenarios - giving Hayate a motivation to become better in combat instead of just staying at headquarters commanding her troops. Of course, you still gotta keep in mind her position - she falls and her entire unit may fall apart. She has an important role, not just in battle.

She doesn't EVEN need to get off her chair to improve her combat abilities. She doesn't have an I.D, yes, but if R.H can provide mental-image training as good as the real thing, I don't see how they cannot create something similar in Nanohaverse for general use.

The issue is not of taking a more active role, the issue is being constantly prepared for the future, by analyzing ones weakness, strengths, and constantly making an effort to better one's self. One never know when things can turn ugly and saying 'if the enemy can reach me, lol we might as well give up' is not the right mentality.

Originally Posted by Erio

But Nanoha is VERY different from Hayate. She is a frontline aggressor and constantly takes part of missions, unlike Hayate, who most of the time sits back and commands her unit, only few times actually leaving HQ for the battle field (when she is needed), as we have seen in StrikerS. Since Aaron's scenarios take place 2 years after StrikerS, then Hayate must be worse than before (as in very rusty), given her position as a Lt. Colonel.

And just to make it clear, my favorite ace is Hayate. While Aaron feels the need to develop her further (something that I also want), I feel the need to make sure she stays as Hayate. One of the reasons why Hayate is my favorite Ace, and I would dare say favorite character, is that she actually has weaknesses. Probably you guys wont feel the same as me, but I feel that Nanoha and Fate are way too perfect. They are both good at everything, they dont make any mistakes, all their decisions are correct, and stuff. They are just 19 years old, and yet there is not much room for character development in regards to their combat abilities, and even power, since they have already reached almost unreachable ranks by TSAB standards (S+ and above). There is just room for developments such as how to become a mother and crap ... at 19 years old ... Not saying that those developments are automatically crap, just that a 19 year old girl should be doing other stuff.

Aaron's already said about this part.

Originally Posted by krisslanza

Wow we passed the 1000 mark... Not going to have fun digging through 3 days worth of backlog considering I didn't know where I last posted... Or maybe I never did...
Oh well guess I'll find out. In the mean time! I do have a gift for you all.
...
Kinda. Maybe less of a "gift" and more of a "well what do ya think!?"



All is WIP of course.

LOL, so death by magical pain?

Originally Posted by FieryAeon

Really? I think they make good antagonist faction cannon fodder.

I prefer these. :3

Spoiler:

I get to see real life girls wearing cheongsam sometimes during Chinese New Year in my country. Though I must say its quite rare around here. Not many people seem to want to wear our traditional clothes any more. My friend called it the deterioration of our culture, and I have to sadly agree that it is true.

Originally Posted by FieryAeon

Especially at Goose, we Malaysians need to stick together! (Poor USB is alone in Sarawak though) So anyway, am trying to devour backlogged MLSN Alphas chapters now. Do hope I don't get stomach ache from eating too much. (should it be brain ache in this case? *ponders*)

LOL USB's in Sarawak? Speaking of which, I need to go to that part of the country one day.

Originally Posted by Estavali

First off, welcome (once again) to Outer Cadian, Anita! It's not everyday that ladies frequent this place.

We eagerly await more AxK moments .

• A small nit, but nonetheless thought I should point it out.
  
  Linith is a mountain cat (yamaneko) as described in the novel, not a tiger, lion or any large member of the feline clan. Also, Linith was the Testarossa's house-pet and Alicia's constant playmate. Canon aside, logic would tell us that keeping a large cat alone with a little girl is as undesirable as would be with a lolicon, especially if the large cat is entirely capable of devouring said little girl in one mouthful (yes, I know felines don't gulp down their food like snakes. This is just a figure of speech ).
  
  (I realise the above comment is something that a person with access to the novel is capable of, and thus may be very unfair to those without .)

I see. I've heard some ranging from mountain lion to mountain tiger, so I'm unsure which is which.

Originally Posted by Estavali

Ah... Since I'm here:

Spoiler for Random WIP stuff:

Unlimited Blade Works - Utopia

The greatest masterpiece o

Hmm... needs more details to connect my very own Keyblader.

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

I am not trying to make her perfect! I'm just trying to develop her from her borderline-defeatist attitude from StrikerS!
*COUGH!*

Yes, that's the most important thing. ark's injecture is good, but this relates more to her nature of her character.

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

Anyway, GenerationS, the next chapter is now up to 7,000+ words. Lots of combat, commentary, interactions, fanservice and crack included!

Give us... a teaser?

Originally Posted by Erio

I would say such deterioration happens in almost every culture...little can be done. I've also sometimes seen real life girls wearing cheongsam during special occasions, such as the graduation ceremony of a Chinese highschool we got around here.

Too bad, though, that the girls do not wear mini-skirted cheongsams...

*runs*

I personally love cultural stuff like that though.

My mom berates me everything I want to wear my dad's 'chinese' batik or gaopi... or at least I think it's that out, not wanting to buy anything she recommends.

Originally Posted by Erio

I see what's going on here... whenever we write "Hayate", Aaron's computer beeps.

Originally Posted by Keroko

It started out as an ambitious idea of Kha to rewrite the enitre StrikerS story into something that could be concidered a good season, rather then a good season, but filled with a lot of plotholes/scripterrors etc. etc. Somewhere along the line though... it seems it turned into one giant crackfest.

In hindsight, we should have seen that coming from the start...

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

I actually dislike my chinese side relatives, but I stfu and suck it up for the ang pow sake. They are.... *sighs* Dua kali lima. Same bland dry tasteless food every single new year, and they get all bitchy if we try and bring new stuff for chinese new year.

Chinese festivals died for me 12 years ago.

Nowadays, things like watching the moon, lanterns, actual neighbourhood lion-dance throughout neighbours, and so many subtle things about 'fun festivities' all died.

The only good thing is ang pow, and I don't even get to use it until I'm out of university.

Originally Posted by Fuyu no Sora

Nighty's stuff.....scary just to think about it

It's not THAT long... compared to so many of Satashi's stuff, it's tame.

Altogether it's got only about 100,000 words+.

[Kyral]

Originally Posted by LoweGear

SIEG CADIA!!!!!!!

And belated Happy Birthday to you

Yay! Thank you!

Originally Posted by USB500

TEARS OF THE NORTHERN WIND
EPILOGUE

Spoiler for part 1:

*snip*

Spoiler for part II:

*snip*

Well, this is it. Now that Tears of Northern Wind has come to its end, I can now begin my OC rebuilding starting with some of the key characters for the upcoming stories (I'll use Kha's character rebuilding setup as basis).

And fret not, for there is always the DVD Special following. Guaranteed to contain less censorship and more fanservice.

*runs*

Noooooo~!
It's over! ;_;

Thank you for this great story!
"DVD" release? Can't wait!

Originally Posted by USB500

Spoiler for DVD Special teaser:

"Obviously, Widuri-chan, you need serious education about lovers' dating."

"But-but-but why would I bother myself learning a thing or two about human's love affair?!"

"Because you are Hikki's devoted Servant. Of course at special times like this, you ought to become closer to your Master than you usually are."

"But how can I? I... I know nothing about..."

"Rest assured. In this case, let me help."

"Really? Will you help me?"

"Only if you agree to wear this."

So saying Hayate seized Widuri's body and proceeded to wear the frilled Goth Lolita costume over the female humanoid.

Well, yeah. That's what Hayate bought at the Lolita Shop.

Now I need to find the suitable Widuri in Goth Lolita dress picture. also, Goth Lolita Frieda is fine, too.

*runs*

EDIT:
page claim!

Ohoh... Hayate is at it again!

EDIT:

Originally Posted by Nightengale

I prefer these. :3

Spoiler:

Ah thank you... thanks to this picture I know now that CthulhuTech exists.

[LoweGear]

Originally Posted by AdmiralTigerclaw

Feh, didn't feel like working on story tonight, so after Roland, I played some game, then got in the mood for technical hashing...

so I present to you..

Spoiler for THIS:

LANCE RIFLE


Lance Rifle: Long Range Concentrated Magic Projection Device

"Designated the 'LANCE RIFLE' by it's developer, Cooper, the Lance is the latest in high precision, long range magical combat devices. Unlike conventional devices, the Lance Rifle is not meant to double for melee combat. It is expressly, a projectile launcher... Designed to have the magic bolt capacity to strike a target at twenty-thousand meters. An insane range almost never seen in magical combat scenarios. However the Lance wasn't designed with conventional magical combat in mind.
Under the direction of Major General William Roland, the Lance was designed to increase the safety of the user by allowing them to engage targets at distances FAR outstripping nearly any other mage in the battlefield. The ability to effectively SNIPE a target with effective magical power before they ever get close enough to .

To achieve the desired capability however, the Lance must first overcome Three fundamental problems.

1 - Inherent Degredation of Attack magic at extreme distances.

2 - Inherent low velocity of magical attacks leading to long time-on-target gaps and missed shots.

3 - Inherent weakness of attack magic at those ranges.

To overcome these problems, hybrid concepts based on conventional weapons were examined. Barring the use of physical materials as projectiles, energy based systems were reviewed. After some testing, it was decided that the best concept was a variant on the classic ion partical canon system. However, to ensure compliance with TSAB law, conventional ion plasma throwing was reversed. Making the system a loose electron gun.
Air is taken into the intake manifolds along the sides of the barrel just ahead of the cartridge loader.
Using a system similar to an Ion pump, magic is used to strip the air of its electrons and to store it in a magical packet in the shot chamber. The resulting magically contained electron package contains a sizable amount of electrical energy potential. Since electrons have next to no mass, and register almost no physical use of space, the electron packet is actually quite small, and almost infinitely light, no bigger than the eraser end of a pencile weighing less then a hair, which makes it easy for the magic containment on it to hold over quite a considerable distance.

To get over the problems of projecting this magical shot over long distances at high velocities, the byproduct ionized air is rapidly heated as it is separated into the primer chamber, becoming a dense high energy plasma.
Upon firing, the Plasma is released, instantly expanding with more force than chemical mass explosive powders used in conventional weapons, propelling the infinitely light, super dense electron packet from the barrel.

The resulting plasma shockwave produces considerable physical recoil, and is quite dangerous to individuals at close range if they are near the muzzel. Potentially suffering burns and blast injuries if physically caught in the shockwave.

Once fired, the shot packet travels around two-thousand meters per second, covering its maximum effective range in just ten. Once it strikes the target or a barrier, or even an AMF, the magical containment package is broken, releasing the dense electron core in a flash similar to a mid level lightning spell, yet delivered to an impact area the size of a pinky. The extreme heat release from the electron discharge melts solid materials, the electrical burst damages unshielded electronics, and the side-effect, contactlvaporization, creates a small explosive shock with potential chained side effected ranging from material to material. Against barriers, while only average in power, the highly concentrated impact point overwhelms the immediate spot, increasing the potential to rupture the barrier and cause it to shatter.
Against an unprotected or non-magical person (which the Lance should never have to, and morally never intend to be applied) such side effects would most certainly be fatal.

Due to the light nature and high negetive electric charge of the shot, some care has to be taken in aiming. Unlike pure magical beams, the Lance is subject to disruptive effects, such as minor deviations at range from gravitational, thermal, and magnetic interference, as well as potential deviations at range from strong winds.
Targetting is provided by a SmartScope linked to whatever Device AI the user has, which does rapid calculations and corrections based on wind currents, thermal interference, magnetic and gravitational interference, planetary surface curvature, and even micromanagement of physical tremble of the shooter before adjusting the target's marker point.

Thanks to the heavy focus on electron packet delivery, the Lance Rifle's been officially classified as a LIGHTNING Element weapon by TSAB Department of Device Management.

Another interesting feature, should the mage will it, the magic containment packet can be made to dissipate at any range, resulting in a small explosion capable of startling, sometimes injuring opponents.


Lance Rifle:
Abilities (Below is Subject to balance and alteration to reflect how it performs.)

Lance Bolt (Standard 'aim and shoot' round.)
Charge Time: A
Speed SSS
Power: C
Refire Rate: B
Range: A (2000 meters)
Accuracy: SS


Hyperlance Extension (THE kill shot.)
(+ 3 Cartridge Load)
Charge Time: D
Speed: SSS
Power: B to AAA (Depending on Cartridge Load Level and Mage quality.)
Refire Rate: E
Range: SS (20,000 meters)
Accuracy: SS

I didn't realize until I was mid-way through that I turned it into a lightning element weapon.

So essentially, a magical long range pulse plasma sniper rifle? A plasma rifle that gets around the conventional weapons ban by using magic as it's operational base, now that's cool

Even more that it's based on a Barret

Originally Posted by Kha

When civilians are in trouble, they call the TSAB. But when the TSAB is in trouble, they call...

CLERIC-KNIGHTS



The best there was, the best there is, and the best there ever will be.
Go anywhere, kill anything.
They are most comfortable knee deep in Hell while kicking ass big time.
They answer to no one and no one, except the Light itself.

~~~~~~

The Cleric-Knight is not your Ace Enforcer. He is not meant for petty arrests and investigations.
He is the relentless weapon of the Light that never hesitates, never regrets.
His sole aim is the purification of the infected and the extermination of great evils.
He is the crusader, the Judge, the executioner rolled into one.
Light help you if they ever come for you.

~~~~~~

Daemons, Heretics, Evil. Your time is over.



CLERIC-KNIGHTS

The buck stops here.



~~~~~~


Authorized by the Regional Government of Belka.

~~~~~~

The following is an excerpt from a file detailing the nature of the Cleric-Knights in general:

Spoiler for Full Codex:

History

Legend has it that the Cleric-Knights were founded on the order of the God Empress herself, at some point between the start of the Heresy and the events of the Second Founding when the God Empress disappeared, and the bloodline leading to the well-loved Sankt Kaiser came to power over all of the Holy Belka Imperiallum. Though it is uncertain about the details, it is thought that the Empress ordered the creation of a force designed to fight the daemons of Chaos. It was not until after the Heresy that a force specializing in fighting Chaos proved necessary.

Originally they were thought not to be descended from any of the original twenty Space Marine Legions, having been created from a unique gene-seed, rumored to come from the God Empress of Belka directly. This gift was responsible.

Designated Chapter 999, sharing the same number as the pages of the Tome of Devotion they represent and protect, the Cleric-Knights at first answered only to the Kaiser, but later, they were permanently attached by order of the last Sankt Kaiser to the trans-racial organization Celestial Being.

The Cleric-Knights are unique among the Space Marines as the only chapter to have full knowledge of the dark secrets of evil, be it Chaos, Alien or Heretic - they alone completely know of and understand the existence of Daemons and of their appearance in the real world, and they alone are best equipped to battle and defeat Belka's most terrible enemy. While other Chapters and Imperium forces have some knowledge of Chaos and how to fight them, only the Cleric Knights are privy to the darkest, deepest secrets known of all beings of evil and how to defeat them.

In the Chapter's long history until Belka's tragic implosion, the Cleric Knights hold the highest honor of all: not one Cleric Knight has ever turned to Chaos, been infested, or betrayed the Kaiser.

In MC 0071, Kha's remarkable victory in the Pilgrim Duels, the discovery of several individuals gifted with the Light of retribution and the subsequent recovery of the lost Tome of Devotion facilitated the refounding of the Cleric-Knights under the Saint Church, and remains the only overt branch of the long-forgotten protector of Ordered Space, Celestial Being.

Organisation

While the Cleric-Knights are technically members of the TSAB, they do not involve themselves with the ordinary activities of the Enforcers. They instead operate independently, working only on orders from, but not restricted to, the High Council and the Church Council, as well as a voice they all address as the "Light".

Rumor has it that this "Voice" is a massive supercomputer network scattered throughout Ordered Space using the most advanced form of Oracle computing to integrate current and past events to predict future events. This legendary machine codenamed "VEDA" has never been found, and the Knights fiercely deny it's existence.

Each successful recruit is given a suit of Knight's Aegis Armor and a Nemesis Force Device, and is assigned to a squad under the leadership of a Justicar. The Cleric-Knight can ascend to the position of Justicar, and then from this point may be awarded the Crux Terminatus of the Cleric-Knights (which would also be accompanied by a suit of thick-plated Tactical Dreadnought armour). Elite soldiers within the Terminator corps can be promoted to the position of Brother-Captain, or even to the position of Grand Master. Multiple Cleric-Knights may hold the rank of Grand Master at the same time, working together to guide the Chapter as a form of ruling council. At all times, a Grand Master of the Cleric-Knights holds a seat on the Church Council.

Headquarters

The Cleric-Knights' fortress-monastery is currently being constructed on the green Midchilda moon, Vida. This will eventually become home to the Tome of Devotion, the Belka's foremost repository of information relating to Daemons and Daemonology, and the bastion of Cleric-Knight power. It is currently in the hands of Grand Master Kha.

Although Vida is the Chapter's homeworld, squads of Cleric-Knights are scattered throughout the galaxy, in order to best respond to the threat of evil, wherever it may strike.

Unlike almost all other TSAB Forces, the Cleric-Knights do not follow normal tenants in the matter of force organisation. Due to the unique manner in which the Cleric-Knights are recruited and trained, each warrior progresses through a series of pre-ordained ranks and will operate in a particular squad led by an individual of higher rank rather than being assigned to a particular battle company. These squads may be called upon to act independently from the main body of the Cleric-Knight force, and have to operate at full efficiency even when light years away from the rest of their chapter. As such the leader of each Cleric-Knight squad is obeyed immediately and without question by those under his command.

Recruitment

Considering the role of the Grey Knights, potential recruits are put through even more stringent trials than other TSAB and/or Saint Church trainees. The recruits are drawn from across the galaxy as and where they are discovered and upon volunteering are whisked to New Antioch for testing.

The most advanced training techniques, equipment, and counselling are available to condition the Pages. Traditionally, each recruit must, through the course of the curriculum, pass the six hundred and sixty six Rituals of Detestation, to prove that he is capable of withstanding horrors that would break even the greatest of 'normal' Enforcers. But due to the lack of both time and numbers, a modified course similar to the TSAB Rangers program is used to give Cleric-Knight pages their basics before they enter the quest-related Belka Knight accreditation system, after which they can attempt clearing the Rituals. Only those who have completed all trials can be considered to be promoted to Terminators.

One of the main criteria for selection is that the recruit must show great magic potential, as the entire Chapter is made up of Convocators who's mana affinity is that of the divine Light.

Once accepted into the chapter and undergoing the standard process to convert into a member of the Saint Guard, the new Cleric-Knight is enchanted with hexagrammic and pentagrammic purity wards that cover his entire body. These are invisible to the naked eye, but at the Cleric-Knight's will, these will project the powerful "Warding" field, making him a harder target to harm.

Unlike 'normal' TSAB mages, Cleric Knight pages are awarded a suit of Aegis Armor, a consecrated device (if they don't already have one) and are immediately pressed into service. They then move through the ranks as detailed above. This is likely due to their few numbers.

Combat Doctrine

Most engagements will involve a single squad of Grey Knights supporting an Naval Enforcer, or a local force. For the most serious incursions, several squads of Cleric-Knights are collected around the presence of a senior Brother-Captain, or even a Grand Master. In these circumstances, tactical squads will attempt to establish a beachhead in the tainted area, before the Terminators and senior Enforcers teleport down to the surface and engage the difficult bogey.

The very presence of Cleric-Knights upon the field of battle is painful to Daemons and their kin. The divine purity and sonorous chants of detestation repel the daemonic and make it hard for them to maintain a grip in the physical universe. This means that Cleric-Knights gain immense advantages against Chaotic opposition, but the high expense of an individual Cleric-Knight leads to its own tactical problems - for all their power, Cleric-Knights will always be badly outnumbered and must focus upon fast application of force.

The Cleric-Knight force also contains a high proportion of troops who can teleport into battle, a high-risk maneuver which can turn the tide of a battle if deployed well.

Equipment

As the Cleric-Knights are an elite chapter engaged in fighting Daemonic infestation, they have access to specialised equipment not available to other forces. These range from the stereotypical enchanted crosses to state of the art Cardinal transport helicopters that have been consecrated and refitted with powerful ultralite field generators and ECM to the indomitable relic from the past, the Landraider Crusader.

Cleric-Knights, due to their very varied weapons curriculum, may also utilise standard TSAB Devices or equipment, although this is much rarer and is usually only in rather sudden emerging emergencies.

Nemesis Force Devices

These are sanctified Force Devices, usually taking the form of a sword, halberd or spear. Sometimes a rare Nemesis hammer or mace will appear, though Nemesis weapons can take the form of any close combat weapon. Each is consecrated and anointed with sacred oils, divinely charged, and inscribed with religious scripts that are anathema to Daemons.

Newer Nemesis Force Devices, due to recognition of Gunslingers and other ranged magic subschools like bows and crossbows, have taken the form of anything from longbows to staves to rifles. Most notable is the sentokijin Justicar Foy Rokker, whose entire body is a Nemesis Force Device.

Like all Force weapons available to the sacred warriors of Belka, the power of the weapon itself directly corresponds to the divine talent of the wielder, and as the Cleric-Knights are some of the greatest Diviners known, the Nemesis Force devices are truly devastating weapons in their hands.

Because of this, the entire chapter is able to wield these, and so every member is a hero in his own right. However, due to the inexperience of younger recruits, the Nemesis Force Device is limited to lower ranks before being issued, and so will be weaker in terms of strength than their higher level counterparts. As the recruits rise in range, so will the limits be removed. This makes the weapon effectively "evolve" as the bearer progresses through the ranks and masters the weapon.

In the hands of a Grand Master, these Force Devices are some of the strongest in Ordered Space. For example, Kha's Tausend Kreuz is more than capable of beheading a Nurgle Daemon Prince or a Hive Tyrant with a single cut.

Aegis Armour

The Cleric-Knights unique suits of magical plate armor and Terminator-rank plate armour are incredibly well crafted; anointed and inscribed with prayers and wards, ritually consecrated and magically charged. Working in tandem with the Cleric-Knights' formidable divine powers, the Aegis Armour protects the wearers from the corrupting effects of infestation and the Immaterium. The armour's ritual blessings and sacred resonance also serve to confound the perception of any enemy, resulting in an effect called the Shrouding.

As well as its sacred properties, the armour itself incorporates a Stormbolter which, when combined with the skill of the Knights themselves, can be used with equal effectiveness in both ranged and melee combat.

The Libram of Devotion

A copy of this book, its contents drawn from material taken from the Tome of Devotion along with the battle rites of the Cleric-Knights, is carried into battle by every single Cleric-Knight in his hammerspace-like Lunar Fold. Like the Tome, the Knight has to pre-load spells into his Nemesis Force device prior to meeting combat, such that a well-planned Knight only has to materialize the Tome in events that he has not forseen.

Ships

Like other TSAB forces, the Cleric-Knights' primary mode of transportation is the Class VII strike cruiser. However, the Cleric-Knights' ships are specially modified in several ways. One is the hexagrammic and anti-daemonic wards that are built into the entire ship from bridge to landing struts and every bulkhead in between, similar to those that are magically etched into the skin of the Cleric-Knights themselves, that lend the ship added protection from the forces of Chaos.

Also, the Cleric-Knights' strike cruisers are equipped with significantly more advanced armour than the ships of other TSAB forces. This is to allow them to close with more powerful foes and reach their destination safely, since the Cleric-Knights must fight more powerful enemies than the standard TSAB force.

Finally, the landing and drop pod bays are enlarged to be able to deploy larger numbers of Knights faster.

The modifications to their ships are made possible by two factors. The first is their ideological headquarter's location in New Antioch, allowing access to technology that was forgotten or is impossible to replicate anywhere else in the Inner Space. This also explains the high quality of all their equipment. The other reason is the resources that the High Council gives the Cleric-Knights due to their various acolates won during the baptism of fire in the Pilgrim Duels, the amount of public goodwill, as well as their pledge to locate, retrieve and consecrate the Sankt Kaiser's Cradle.

(That third reason is supposed to act as an insurance against the increasingly erratic Jail Scagletti, which eventually paid off. Too bad the High Council wasn't around ti realize one of their choices were right.)

Abilities of the Cleric-Knights

The Cleric-Knights have many abilities that TSAB grunts lack.

Spells in the Libram of Devotion

These are based on divinity, are quoted from the Libram they carry and work on a gestalt principle. These skills as such are common to all Cleric-Knights, and work on top of whatever skill they have already acquired, making the proverbial mountain of skills anything but typical of a Cleric-Knight.

Basic Combat Teleportation Proficiency

A Cleric-Knight is able to blink through distances by temporarily opening a directed path through the Warp with his faith. This allows him to literally jump from safety and into the thick of combat, not to mention the deadzones of mages, very quickly. As a Cleric-Knight grows in strength, so does his mastery of this skill.

The Shrouding

Through prayer, illusion magic and the combined gestalt power of the Cleric-Knights, they are able to blind their enemies with their sheer faith. For an enemy to fire upon a Cleric-Knight, he must first determine if he can spot the unit.

Kha is able to use this ability and his traced Force Silhouette spell to render himself completely undetectable even to the advanced senses of Uno.

Ward Field

A secondary defence field provided by the Light that is activated by focus on the Cleric-Knight's part. A low level of alertness augments the passive field defence a normal mage has, and higher levels increase defence but at the same time weighs down on the Knight's stamina. This is the reason why Cleric-Knights are harder to damage, and are unaffected by AMF.

Divine Inquisition

Several times a day, a Cleric-Knight can call upon the Naaru to stun all the guilty around him and temporarily put them in a "penitent" state, allowing him to exact judgement. A Knight of higher rank and divinity can call upon this offensive divine intervention more times, but there is a chance that the Naaru ignore the Knight's call, especially if he is wrong in judgement.

Ranks

The Cleric-Knight hierarchy is drastically different from TSAB Forces.

Battle Brother: The standard Grey Knight. Equipped not only with the famed Aegis suit, the standard armament of a Cleric-Knight includes a wrist-mounted Lanstar Bolter of perfect craftsmanship and the Nemesis Force Device. Each weapon is unique to its owner having been attuned to his particular psychic signal. They can take the form of a Halberd, Sword, Axe, Hammer, Mace, Maul, Scythe, Morning Star or even a Gun, Bow, or Crossbow. Newly accepted battle brothers will be inducted into fresh squads led by a Justicar, eventually developing their abilities in leadership, weaponry, psychic ability and armed/unarmed combat. Upon demonstration of above average ability in one of these areas they take their place in either the assault Teleport, heavy Purgation squads or become Justicars themselves to lead new batches of recruits.

Justicar: Justicars are the leaders of the latest recruits to the Cleric-Knights. This is the first step on the path to becoming a Grand Master. Justicars also lead Terminator squads, although such leaders are usually referred to as 'Brother Captain' (more detailed below).

Terminator: The battle-brothers wearing Terminator soul-forged plate armor are the elite of the Cleric-Knights. In addition to possessing greater armor, they also use their divine powers actively as opposed to passively in combat. They also have the same special weapons options - Macrowave and Lanstar Bolter(although they are wrist-mounted rather than two handed) - as their younger battle-brothers but some exceptionally strong Knights may wield thunder hammers and storm shields.

Brother-Captain: Usually the leader of a Cleric-Knight Terminator squad, he may also be the force commander. Like his brethren, he wields a Nemesis Force Device in combat, and also possesses considerable divine powers.

Grand Master: The highest rank attainable by a Cleric-Knight, a Grand Master is - by virtue of his esteemed rank - a member of the Church Council. A master daemonslayer, the Grand Master always wears Terminator soul-forged plate armor, though the number of layers may vary, and wields a force device in combat, and is also a powerful Divine Convocator. Few, if any, Daemons have been able to stand against a Grand Master and survive.

~~~~~~

Notable Members of the Cleric-Knights and Celestial Being

| | | | | |

PS: Oh shoot me for making this character shrine. :P This post made me go @_@ at the sheer complexity. I did something like that before, but to rebuild it was really >_<.

I know this wall of text quite well for some reason

Although integrating both Celestial Being and the Grey Knights into a single entity is quite the unusual concept indeed

Originally Posted by Kyral

Yay! Thank you!

No prob

[tshouryuu]

Originally Posted by Sheba

Oh my god....

FIGHT CLUB!

... I have NO idea what you're talking about. Incidentally the next part is the only thing I know about fightclub.

* Tshou raises his hand and smacks the back of Sheba's head.
Tshou: First rule about Fight Club, you do NOT talk about Fight Club!

Originally Posted by AdmiralTigerclaw

Feh, didn't feel like working on story tonight, so after Roland, I played some game, then got in the mood for technical hashing...

so I present to you..

Spoiler for THIS:

LANCE RIFLE


Lance Rifle: Long Range Concentrated Magic Projection Device

"Designated the 'LANCE RIFLE' by it's developer, Cooper, the Lance is the latest in high precision, long range magical combat devices. Unlike conventional devices, the Lance Rifle is not meant to double for melee combat. It is expressly, a projectile launcher... Designed to have the magic bolt capacity to strike a target at twenty-thousand meters. An insane range almost never seen in magical combat scenarios. However the Lance wasn't designed with conventional magical combat in mind.
Under the direction of Major General William Roland, the Lance was designed to increase the safety of the user by allowing them to engage targets at distances FAR outstripping nearly any other mage in the battlefield. The ability to effectively SNIPE a target with effective magical power before they ever get close enough to .

To achieve the desired capability however, the Lance must first overcome Three fundamental problems.

1 - Inherent Degredation of Attack magic at extreme distances.

2 - Inherent low velocity of magical attacks leading to long time-on-target gaps and missed shots.

3 - Inherent weakness of attack magic at those ranges.

To overcome these problems, hybrid concepts based on conventional weapons were examined. Barring the use of physical materials as projectiles, energy based systems were reviewed. After some testing, it was decided that the best concept was a variant on the classic ion partical canon system. However, to ensure compliance with TSAB law, conventional ion plasma throwing was reversed. Making the system a loose electron gun.
Air is taken into the intake manifolds along the sides of the barrel just ahead of the cartridge loader.
Using a system similar to an Ion pump, magic is used to strip the air of its electrons and to store it in a magical packet in the shot chamber. The resulting magically contained electron package contains a sizable amount of electrical energy potential. Since electrons have next to no mass, and register almost no physical use of space, the electron packet is actually quite small, and almost infinitely light, no bigger than the eraser end of a pencile weighing less then a hair, which makes it easy for the magic containment on it to hold over quite a considerable distance.

To get over the problems of projecting this magical shot over long distances at high velocities, the byproduct ionized air is rapidly heated as it is separated into the primer chamber, becoming a dense high energy plasma.
Upon firing, the Plasma is released, instantly expanding with more force than chemical mass explosive powders used in conventional weapons, propelling the infinitely light, super dense electron packet from the barrel.

The resulting plasma shockwave produces considerable physical recoil, and is quite dangerous to individuals at close range if they are near the muzzel. Potentially suffering burns and blast injuries if physically caught in the shockwave.

Once fired, the shot packet travels around two-thousand meters per second, covering its maximum effective range in just ten. Once it strikes the target or a barrier, or even an AMF, the magical containment package is broken, releasing the dense electron core in a flash similar to a mid level lightning spell, yet delivered to an impact area the size of a pinky. The extreme heat release from the electron discharge melts solid materials, the electrical burst damages unshielded electronics, and the side-effect, contactlvaporization, creates a small explosive shock with potential chained side effected ranging from material to material. Against barriers, while only average in power, the highly concentrated impact point overwhelms the immediate spot, increasing the potential to rupture the barrier and cause it to shatter.
Against an unprotected or non-magical person (which the Lance should never have to, and morally never intend to be applied) such side effects would most certainly be fatal.

Due to the light nature and high negetive electric charge of the shot, some care has to be taken in aiming. Unlike pure magical beams, the Lance is subject to disruptive effects, such as minor deviations at range from gravitational, thermal, and magnetic interference, as well as potential deviations at range from strong winds.
Targetting is provided by a SmartScope linked to whatever Device AI the user has, which does rapid calculations and corrections based on wind currents, thermal interference, magnetic and gravitational interference, planetary surface curvature, and even micromanagement of physical tremble of the shooter before adjusting the target's marker point.

Thanks to the heavy focus on electron packet delivery, the Lance Rifle's been officially classified as a LIGHTNING Element weapon by TSAB Department of Device Management.

Another interesting feature, should the mage will it, the magic containment packet can be made to dissipate at any range, resulting in a small explosion capable of startling, sometimes injuring opponents.


Lance Rifle:
Abilities (Below is Subject to balance and alteration to reflect how it performs.)

Lance Bolt (Standard 'aim and shoot' round.)
Charge Time: A
Speed SSS
Power: C
Refire Rate: B
Range: A (2000 meters)
Accuracy: SS


Hyperlance Extension (THE kill shot.)
(+ 3 Cartridge Load)
Charge Time: D
Speed: SSS
Power: B to AAA (Depending on Cartridge Load Level and Mage quality.)
Refire Rate: E
Range: SS (20,000 meters)
Accuracy: SS

I didn't realize until I was mid-way through that I turned it into a lightning element weapon.

20km is an insanely long ranged weapon. Nanoha's long range attacks are not common at all and 20km is way beyond her range I believe.
...
..
.
..
...
ATC... who are you trying to fool? This isn't a magical weapon at all. Its an thinly disguised ion/electric cannon (i think) with an exotic power source (mana) that requires a mage to use with an insanely long range. I don't know about the rest but this is a personal request from me. When you design stuff, could you consider throwing away all the sci-fi stuff out of the window?

[Kha]

Originally Posted by LoweGear

I know this wall of text quite well for some reason

Although integrating both Celestial Being and the Grey Knights into a single entity is quite the unusual concept indeed

It was an older recipe I dug up and Rebuilt, so its another dish of copypasta served with integra sauce.

That's the Rebuilt bits, and accomodates both the God Empress and Sankt Kaiser theories as well, and throws in more background about Celestial Being in Nanohaverse.

The whole aim of that codex copypasta is so that when my guys go around yelling "Beginning Intervention", no one will yell "but isn't that illegal?" since their right to operate independently goes a long way and reeks of High Council stink.

For once, like ol Nel, the Brains have their uses.


Also, the first part before the copypasta is supposed to be a TV ad aired in TSAB channels to raise awareness about the Cleric-Knights, and hopefully perk interest for the talented. I'll do a proper video about who should apply later.

[haiz123321]

... Now it's 1K pages -.-....

[dkellis]

Originally Posted by tshouryuu

Actually I prefer this approach of yours. I'm of the opinion that if an idea cannot withstand from being ripped to shreds, then the idea itself was flawed to begin with and thus need to be revised no matter how long it may take or how much more extra work I've have to put in. Stubbornly defending my ideas will not make me a better thinker nor a better writer and your scrutinizing ways help bring up the level of writing in a person and help polish the story to be something better. If I cannot take criticism, then I've got no business writing and showing others what I've written in the first place.

You have no idea how hard I've been trying to hammer that point of view into some people I've met in various fanfic communities. I've long given up trying to make them agree; all I want is for them to understand, which is probably a problem with my approach.

Of course, I'm also of the belief that I should be "ripping apart" the stories and ideas politely, which means no swearing and no personal attacks, which is another thing I've been trying to hammer into people.

Okaaay... I not too sure what exactly you mean but I think I got the gist of it. So you're saying I need to describe what is the agenda of the Left Wing Extremists?

No, what I meant was: why use the term "left-wing"? You've already described the agenda of the rogue faction quite well, so I'm satisfied with that. I'm just kind of curious, in a "by the way" kind of context, about the "left-wing" bit.

Hmmm... actually I was thinking of something a little different. I was planning to have alot of very low-ranking people like the common enforcers who lost friends team mates to powerful criminals, poor leadership etc.. , clerks in the records departments, junior scientists, assistants to more powerful people etc... all these people will be carefully selected. To me, the more high-rankers you have, the more scrutiny you'll be under. It is my belief that most of the lower ranks are not actively being scrutinized as opposed to the higher ranks. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

That could also conceivably work, but carries its own set of problems.

For example, you mentioned that resource-gathering has been going on from MC 0043 and picked up at MC 0068. That's at least twenty-five years for this conspiracy to have existed.

Twenty-five years is a long time for a person. It's more than enough time for them to doubt the worthiness of their cause, more than enough time for them to accidentally slip up, and more than enough time for them to get promoted. Suddenly the low-ranking is not low-ranking any more.

These people are going to need a lot of fanaticism to keep up the charade for twenty-five years. Or just seven years, if you're intending for recruitment to begin from MC 0068.

Also, if they're low-ranking, they don't have much influence, and they'll need a lot of helpers in order to keep up the conspiracy. Which means even more people to be in on the secret. I realize that none of them may be individually cognizant of the entire plan, but they're still being asked to both commit a crime (probably serious) and pretend that nothing is out of the ordinary.

I know that one person in the right place at the right time can make a huge difference, but that difference tends to be more chaotic than directed, and for a plan like this to go off efficiently, they're going to need a lot of direction.

In other words, this turns it from a "rogue faction" of the TSAB into a vast conspiracy with hundreds, or likely even thousands, of fanatics dedicated to their cause.

I'm not saying that it's impossible, but I'm just giving a warning that it may or may not be story you want to write.

The plan is to conquer Midchilda and at least neutralize their allies before going out after the non administrated worlds. This attack on Midchilda will be very deadly as the VUDs will be activated very suddenly and those that managed to fight off the "possession" attempts will still be hindered by the VUDs in them as well as facing impossible odds as the mass majority will not be able to fight off the VUDs "possession" attempts.

I'm going to assume that the VUDs are going to be extremely virulent.

This also makes the assumption, albeit not unfounded given what we've seen of the series, that the TSAB is putting all its eggs into one basket, and taking out the city and its environs will be enough to cripple the administration.

Remember that we're dealing with at least an entire planet. It's actually relatively easy to drop a planet into barbarism and chaos, but far more difficult to take it over and still retain a modicum of order. A rebellion will not last very long if there's nothing to eat the next day.

The conquest of the TSAB main HQ in the dimensional sea is also a critical step in order to gain access to the Infinite Library as well as the warships. An attack here will happen simultaneously with the one on Midchilda. In order to conquer the non administrated worlds, those warships will be needed. Then I'll start to consolidate my position and start building up my forces for the next step, by getting resources from uninhibited worlds.

I have repetitions of my previous objections for "how will you keep the planets from rebelling", but then I also have possible solutions for that, which will depend greatly on how the VUDs work.

More on this later.

As for the conquest of the non administrated worlds, it should be simple enough although it might not reach this step as I think the heroes will counter attack before I even reach this point. Anyway, taking Earth for example, even with "the much-dreaded projectile weapons, and we also have nukes, as well as military leaders short-sighted enough to want to use them", it shouldn't be much of a problem.

Fair enough. I'll have to see it in action, though: my view right now is "I don't see how things can progress to this stage in the first place, but if they have, then they could conceivably progress like this".

In other words, convince me with the actual story.

Please poke more holes in my ideas so I can deliver a quality story. If possible, could you suggest which parts can be salvaged for use?

Planning to go against an established government like the TSAB does take a lot of time, so I have no arguments per se against the thing taking decades. You're going to have to find a way to explain how the conspiracy holds together through the years, though.

The "charismatic leader" is the best suggestion I can offer without going deeper into esoteric scenarios, and I'd add that he would probably use both respect and fear to keep people in line. Not so much of the fear, but lay on the respect. These people should want to die for this leader, whether because of personal charisma, or because they think that the leader really does have the best answer and the capability to carry it out.

And you will need a leader, or at least a leading force, since someone has to be working on all of this and calling the shots.

I do like the idea of "infection", but I'm not sure that Unison Devices as we know them are the way to go. That's mostly a mechanical and probably semantics issue, though.

If possible, I'd like to see (here or via PM) how the VUDs work, since what I'm assuming may not be correct. Specifically, I want to know exactly how they spread and infect people, and exactly what they can do once they've infected someone.

The first scenario I thought of was that one may as well infect the entire planet of Midchilda, and all of the off-planet personnel, and enough of the other planets, such that one can just switch on the infection. This would require that the VUDs just act as a kind of basic mental change, so that those infected still have their usual "this is my job" state of mind, but have their beliefs changed to match the villain group in your story. Sort of like a mass instant conversion.

The second scenario is that one may as well just infect the high-ranking TSAB personnel, since the TSAB, for the most part, follows orders. In both scenarios, the VUDs must be undetectable by any known means used by the regular personnel.

This is all assuming that the VUDs are the entire point of the story. Otherwise, it would probably be less trouble to just Machiavelli oneself to be the best and brightest star of the TSAB, and then have the present leadership assassinated. Then take over and start your reforms and changes.

Random notes that I can't figure out where to put: the villainous group should probably have a sense of superiority over the non-administered worlds, in the "we're doing you a favour by colonizing you" way. If the charade falls, this may result in friction with those who are from non-administered worlds.

It's probably not essential, but it's the one way I can think of offhand to rationalize the "subjugate non-administered worlds forcibly" goal.

EDIT: I should probably mention that I am trying as hard as possible not to prejudice my thinking with concepts from ReBoot.

Specifically the Season 4 Daemon arc.

[LoweGear]

Originally Posted by tshouryuu

When you design stuff, could you consider throwing away all the sci-fi stuff out of the window?

That's going to be a tall order, considering the lot of use have sci-fi in our profiles

And there is the fact that while primarily magical, Nanoha is also inescapably sci-fi. Heck, Nanoha once wielded a high-mega launcher-like weapon that looked like something straight out of Gundam or Eva in the manga. And of course, what would you call the cyborgs and mecha?

Besides, it's still a magical weapon as far as I can see, just with a far more technical explanation than your usual magical weapon.

Also, I'm not sure about your gripes when you have Tais, Yui and the Eva system that's essentially sci-fi in presentation.

Originally Posted by Kha

It was an older recipe I dug up and Rebuilt, so its another dish of copypasta served with integra sauce.

That's the Rebuilt bits, and accomodates both the God Empress and Sankt Kaiser theories as well, and throws in more background about Celestial Being in Nanohaverse.

The whole aim of that codex copypasta is so that when my guys go around yelling "Beginning Intervention", no one will yell "but isn't that illegal?" since their right to operate independently goes a long way and reeks of High Council stink.

For once, like ol Nel, the Brains have their uses.

Wikipasta?

And operating outside the jurisdication of any law sure is fun

Originally Posted by haiz123321

... Now it's 1K pages -.-....

Welcome back to the madness that is OC

[Kha]

Originally Posted by LoweGear

Wikipasta?

And operating outside the jurisdication of any law sure is fun

Yeah the original post for the NanoHammer project was used as a comparison, but I worked on wikipasta since there were new updates.

And the best part is that they don't sneak around but are Licenced to Flout.

[haiz123321]

Originally Posted by Kha

Notable Members of the Cleric-Knights and Celestial Being

| | | | | | [/CENTER]

=O so the guy from machine robo rescue and setsuna f seiei got drafted by Kha

Originally Posted by LoweGear

Welcome back to the madness that is OC

I'm here to somehow relieve myself of the pressure im facing X_X

[Kha]

Originally Posted by haiz123321

=O so the guy from machine robo rescue and setsuna f seiei got drafted by Kha

Taiyo: TAIYO! My name is TAIYO!!!

Foy: (reties hair) Blame it on your height for being so inconspicuous.

Gimmy: The funny thing is, how come the silent one got remembered?

Hiro: ...

Action speaks louder.

[haiz123321]

Originally Posted by Kha

Taiyo: TAIYO! My name is TAIYO!!!

Foy: (reties hair) Blame it on your height for being so inconspicuous.

Gimmy: The funny thing is, how come the silent one got remembered?

Hiro: ...

Action speaks louder.

You never fail to crack me up So Taiyo is the machine robo guy and Hiro is setsuna? btw whose Foy?

[SpaceBrotha]

Originally Posted by Kha

~~~~~~


Authorized by the Regional Government of Belka.

~~~~~~

Right, first off, let me introduce you to the russian coat of arms:

Difference in details, but the same concept...
...and since belka existed in the far corners of history, does this mean the russians are decendants of belka?

There's a rather cracky idea for you: russian knights