Nanoha FanFiction Discussion

[00-Raiser]

Originally Posted by Alavon

A fic I promised 00-Raiser but completely...uh...forgot. The first part of this short series, Good-Bye, is up on ff.net but I'm not expecting anyone to go and read it so...meh.

I'm only going to post the first part because I want to see what kind of reactions this is going to cause...I'm evil...

Enjoy this short... :3

Spoiler for Comatose:

Comatose

By:
Alavon



Please...
Take away the pain that I feel...
and turn it into white dust;
whisper my name out loud...
whisper it to me;
your angelic voice
gives me
hope.
-XXXXX

---

“So...is it true?”

“I'm afraid so, Nanoha”

Shamal sighed heavily and turned to the now shocked Nanoha Takamachi. If it wasn't for the fact that Nanoha was lying on the bed, she would've collapsed from the news.

Shamal had to suppress a chuckle.

Placing down the test results on her desk, Shamal walked up to Nanoha and gave her a stern look making the younger women squirm.

“I DO hope you know who the father is...”

As soon as the words came out, Nanoha stood up so quickly that Shamal had to jump back if not she would've hit her head with Nanoha's.

“Nanoha! Watch what you're-”

But the shock and fearful look on Nanoha's face told her mouth to shut up. Nanoha looked at Shamal, covering her mouth and after a minute passed, she dashed right out of the room. Judging by her sudden actions and the direction of her escape, Shamal had guessed that Nanoha went to the bathroom. With her Doctor instincts on high alert, Shamal followed Nanoha and after helping the poor girl, ushered her back to the room. Shamal noticed that Nanoha was shaking and sweating too much so she offered the younger women a pill to calm her nerves and the sickness. Silence engulfed the room and Shamal, deciding that the silence was too loud to stand any longer, finally spoke.

“Let me guess,” she began, ruffling through Nanoha's medical records. “Yuuno is the father?”

Nanoha nodded slowly, tears sliding down her hand that was covering her mouth.

Shamal sighed. She placed Nanoha's papers back in her drawers and sat next to Nanoha. She grabbed Nanoha's free hand and said in all seriousness,”He actually left, didn't he?”

At this Nanoha couldn't hold it in anymore. She finally broke down and hugged Shamal who in turn hugged her back, whispering soothing words that went unheard.

“Yuuno,” thought Shamal, bitterly. “What have you done?”

Finally! The return! When Nanoha and Yuuno meet again, they'll be enemies and she's carrying his child and oooo, the drama!

Page claim for Yuunoha drama!

[TheShinySword]

Omigod SECRET BABY. And possibly comas. Maybe even BABY COMAS.
It's like all my favorite Romance Novels/Soap Operas in one.

[Alavon]

Originally Posted by TheShinySword

Omigod SECRET BABY. And possibly comas. Maybe even BABY COMAS.
It's like all my favorite Romance Novels/Soap Operas in one.

Yeah! BABY COMAS!

...

Wait...huh?

Shiny, are you being sarcastic?

[TheShinySword]

As the mother gives birth to her child she falls into A DRAMATIC COMA. And then THE BABY FALLS INTO A DRAMATIC COMA! But the baby gets better, cause everyone loves babies
Except for people who don't

[RadiantBeam]

[QUOTE=Alavon;2729085]A fic I promised 00-Raiser but completely...uh...forgot. The first part of this short series, Good-Bye, is up on ff.net but I'm not expecting anyone to go and read it so...meh.

I'm only going to post the first part because I want to see what kind of reactions this is going to cause...I'm evil...

Enjoy this short... :3

Spoiler for Comatose:

Comatose

By:
Alavon



Please...
Take away the pain that I feel...
and turn it into white dust;
whisper my name out loud...
whisper it to me;
your angelic voice
gives me
hope.
-XXXXX

---

“So...is it true?”

“I'm afraid so, Nanoha”

Shamal sighed heavily and turned to the now shocked Nanoha Takamachi. If it wasn't for the fact that Nanoha was lying on the bed, she would've collapsed from the news.

Shamal had to suppress a chuckle.

Placing down the test results on her desk, Shamal walked up to Nanoha and gave her a stern look making the younger women squirm.

“I DO hope you know who the father is...”

As soon as the words came out, Nanoha stood up so quickly that Shamal had to jump back if not she would've hit her head with Nanoha's.

“Nanoha! Watch what you're-”

But the shock and fearful look on Nanoha's face told her mouth to shut up. Nanoha looked at Shamal, covering her mouth and after a minute passed, she dashed right out of the room. Judging by her sudden actions and the direction of her escape, Shamal had guessed that Nanoha went to the bathroom. With her Doctor instincts on high alert, Shamal followed Nanoha and after helping the poor girl, ushered her back to the room. Shamal noticed that Nanoha was shaking and sweating too much so she offered the younger women a pill to calm her nerves and the sickness. Silence engulfed the room and Shamal, deciding that the silence was too loud to stand any longer, finally spoke.

“Let me guess,” she began, ruffling through Nanoha's medical records. “Yuuno is the father?”

Nanoha nodded slowly, tears sliding down her hand that was covering her mouth.

Shamal sighed. She placed Nanoha's papers back in her drawers and sat next to Nanoha. She grabbed Nanoha's free hand and said in all seriousness,”He actually left, didn't he?”

At this Nanoha couldn't hold it in anymore. She finally broke down and hugged Shamal who in turn hugged her back, whispering soothing words that went unheard.

“Yuuno,” thought Shamal, bitterly. “What have you done?”

The Yuuno fangirl in me rejects your concept of reality and replaces it with my own.

[Alavon]

Originally Posted by TheShinySword

As the mother gives birth to her child she falls into A DRAMATIC COMA. And then THE BABY FALLS INTO A DRAMATIC COMA! But the baby gets better, cause everyone loves babies
Except for people who don't

...

Ooookaaaay...I'll...go with...that?

*laughs*

Too much, Shiny! Too much! XD

The Yuuno fangirl in me rejects your concept of reality and replaces it with my own.

Go right ahead.

[Tempy]

WHO SENDS THESE BABIES TO FIGHT?!

ENTIRE TEAM IS BABIES.

KEEP CRYING, BABY.

- HWGuy

[Alavon]

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

WHO SENDS THESE BABIES TO FIGHT?!

ENTIRE TEAM IS BABIES.

KEEP CRYING, BABY.

- HWGuy

Tempy, I never knew you wrote poetry...

[Rika23onROOF]

(0/////0)

with this whole baby thing, I wonder what happens if the whole Nanoha's cast turns into toddlers?
....................chaos

then again, chibi-signum?
....*hold laughter*

[Satashi]

Spoiler for @ 00-Raiser's fic:

High school junior Vivio Takamachi watched as her tutor, Yuuno Scrya, looked over her notebook. He sat on the edge of her bed, nodding his head as his eyes moved down the page. Seated at her desk, Vivio twirled her pencil around her fingers, awaiting his assessment.

MUCH better. only comment for it is that when you combine a lot of sentences in a row, try to make them sound differntly. For example, your last to sentences were in this formula: "placement, verb". Yuuno was on the edge of the bed, and Vivio was seated at her desk. The last sentence could be more: "Vivio twirled her pencil around her fingers as she sat at her desk, awaiting his assessment" and it gives a verb to focus on Vivio, then describes her more. Either way will work, but I think the flow is a little better with what I said. But already I like what you've done *thumbs up*

Vivio wondered if it would be ok to ask for a reward since the project she had finished was supposedly a difficult one. Sometimes when she did well on a challenging test or assignment, Yuuno would indulge a request of hers. In the past, she might have asked for a stuffed animal she had her eye on, but as the years went on she advanced to clothing or small charms. Though more often than not, she usually went for the books. Vivio now had quite the collection of old and rare tomes, each weathered page brimming with knowledge of the past. The best reward by far was the time she asked to spend the day with him at an archaeological dig. Sifting through the dirt to uncover hidden mysteries with the best in the business had been exhilarating.

Much better, though she seems a little selfish asking for it all. But hey, that's fine since its "over the years"

However, he had just acknowledged her growth and that had strengthened her resolve. The end of a journey is the start of another.

*claps*

and he had picked up on the way she would dress with a lessened degree of modesty when they were together.

*giggles* how bold!

Indeed, Yuuno could feel the rapid life beats under his hand. The red seemed to pump through three times faster than normal. The mind could easily be confused, but the body rarely lied.

the red?

Tonight was an entirely different matter. It was as if Chrono had used Durandal to freeze the room. Vivio and Yuuno sat on one side, Nanoha and Fate on the other. The two mothers wore looks that would ensure them top positions in the poker world championships.

My brother played poker professionally for two years, so that line kinda jumped out at me. poker faces aren't about being stern and unmoving, that's just for amateurs mainly. Real poker players read 'tells' in much more complicated ways and.......why am I talking about this?

Yuuno perspired lightly, but reassured himself that his friends were reasonable people. If he was honest, they wouldn’t hurt him… that much. On her end, Vivio tried not to look too worried. Her mamas would be understanding right? Unfortunately, predicting the behaviours of others isn’t an exact science.

I think that can be two separate paragraphs since it splits between them.

“Now then, Yuuno-kun,” Nanoha began with an even tone. “I don’t believe you’re the kind of man who would take advantage of a girl thirteen years your junior. But I’m afraid I’m not as smart as you are, and I just can’t think of another interpretation for the scene I walked in on, so please explain it to me.”

go go Nanoha-mama!

“You’re as oddly inconsistent on picking up on these things as always, Nanoha.” The blond told her partner.

“You knew about it, Fate-mama?” Vivio asked.

“I had a feeling, but I wasn’t going to say anything until you wanted to talk about it.”

go go Fate-mama!

“By letting him grope you?” Nanoha gasped. To think her daughter was so bold…

Fate: Like you ever held back on the groping <.<

I’ve matured to the point where my body doesn’t change at all when I activate Saint Kaiser Mode, so I think I’m ready for this.”

That line seems kind of off. I know what you're going for, but I just don't like her referring to her physical body and fighting in this context.

“… I don’t know about that, Vivio.” Yuuno finally spoke. During the familial conversation, he had taken the opportunity to scrutinize himself. Just how did he feel about the girl? The image of that bright, happy young child still existed in his mind, but that was a memory of the past. The Vivio of today was an attractive young woman, one wise beyond her years who had been faced with several abnormal circumstances, but had the strength to overcome them and grow up to be a well adjusted person. She had never lost that innocent smile of hers, and her cheery nature had never failed to fill Yuuno with a sense of joy and ease. He enjoyed her company, he liked sharing common interests with her, and he cared about her well being a great deal. He wanted to make her happy, and her being happy certainly made him happy too. This was the first time he had examined it thoroughly and he concluded that these feelings could be indeed be love. Yuuno wanted the chance to find out for certain.

very nice paragraph. only problem: "these feelings could be indeed be love. " sounds really weird. reword?

“I do love Vivio a lot,” He admitted. “But I can’t say if this love is romantic or not. To be sure, I’d like to give a relationship between us a shot. So, Nanoha, Fate…” He bowed, stopping short of banging his head against the table. “Please allow me to date your daughter!”

Just like that? I don't like the insanly fast acceptance. Granted, he thought about it, but for only a few moments. I think he would word it as in "I would like to respect Vivio's feelings and give my own a chance to become clear." and not "lemme date her!" :3 but this is your fic, so go with what you want.

Nanoha considered the man who was her life long friend and some one she cared for deeply. She knew he was mature, polite, considerate, intelligent and responsible. The look of exuberant bliss that had erupted on Vivio’s face when he made his request was enough to tell Nanoha that her daughter would fair well in his hands. Fate voiced her agreement with a reassuring smile.

Fate can't voice a smile. try "showed" "implied" "gave" "committed" ect.

“Oh thank you so much, mama!” Vivio’s excitement all but sprayed from her pores.

ewwwwwww she asploded!

Unable to contain herself, she sprang from her seat and wrapped her arms around her new boyfriend. “Please take good care of me from now on, Yuuno-san!”

she seems way too childish for this one burst. How about something a little toned down to match her build up so far? Like giving a fierce hug, and hugging him tightly, instead of bursting out and tackle-glomping.

“I’ll be in your care as well, Vivio.” Yuuno returned the hug, thinking he definitely wouldn’t mind getting used to it.

end on a corny note!


voice actor joke win! Also, loved the extra.

Okay, all in all, I actually really liked it. Yuuno was on task, so was Vivio. You incorporated many things I suggested, so of course I can't complain. I noticed one or two typos, so be sure to re-spellcheck before FF.N posting. I made my comments as I went so look there for specifics.

My only complain is Yuuno accepted it too fast. I don't mean as in "give me a few days to think on it" but the complete logical build up was shattered by him just bluntly saying "let me date her!" I think that by just adding 1-3 paragraphs, you could flesh out his idea of "giving it a chance". also, I know its common place to bow before parents and all, but Yuuno is Mid, and he didn't live on Earth like the girls (did he? I don't think he did?) and they're also his close friends. I think you could show some respect to that and have him look them in the eye and ask for their permission to find out his feelings for himself. I see Yuuno more of telling her "We will figure this out together" rather than blatantly asking to "date" her. That will give the satisfaction of accepting, but also staying true to the logic you brought into the fic as well.

I have to add this in as well. You re-wrote the entire thing just about to match almost everything I commented on. Even though I think the fic is much better, always remember to be true to yourself. A lot of readers will make comments, but each comment and suggestion is just their opinion. Its good to take them for what they are and incorporate the ones you like, but always remember that if you don't like what was suggested, don't change it. Your fics are yours, and you have the final say on what is released.

Um, well, since I reviewed it this much, I'll make it official.

I give this story (as it stands) three and a half stars out of five. The flow was nice, the characters seemed to represent themselves, and the cliche outburst were at a minimal. It gives a nice way for the reader to imagine how things go, without really leaving them hanging. Short and to the point, but also having an emotional build up that was nice to see being resolved.

Extra points for the odd couple. 00-Raiser played his cards right and wasn't afraid to fold and be re-dealt before finalizing his story. Taking the advice from a reader and fellow author shows the respect that I was looking for and, in this reviewer's eyes, makes up for what happened so long ago.

The pairing may sound strange, but it was well played. I'd recommend this to anyone who has an open mind about pairings.

[TheShinySword]

...

Spoiler for Nanoha Babies:

Nanoha Babies, we make our dreams come true
Nanoha Babies, we'll do the same for you

Yuuno: When your world looks kinda weird and you wish that you weren't there
Nanoha: Just close your eyes and make believe and you can be anywhere

Yuuno: I like adventure
Nanoha: I like romance
Hayate: I love breasts!
Fate: I like... things... too
Shamal: I've got my injections!
Signum: My sword swings through the air
Zafira: I provide the muscles
Chrono: And I have blue hair *straight face*
Shari: Me, I invent things
Vice: Mee mee mee meee!

Vita: Is everything all right in here?
All: Yes, Vita.

Nanoha Babies, we make our dreams come true
Nanoha Babies, we'll do the same for you

Nanoha Nanoha Nanoha Nanoha
Babies Babies Babies Babies
Make dreams come true.

don't tell me I was the only one who watched Muppet Babies growing up

[Alavon]

@Satashi: Satashi, this must be a new record for you...
@Shiny: *laughs* S-Shiny...y-you're...k-killing me h-here....

[SulliMike23]

Originally Posted by TheShinySword

...

Spoiler for Nanoha Babies:

Nanoha Babies, we make our dreams come true
Nanoha Babies, we'll do the same for you

Yuuno: When your world looks kinda weird and you wish that you weren't there
Nanoha: Just close your eyes and make believe and you can be anywhere

Yuuno: I like adventure
Nanoha: I like romance
Hayate: I love breasts!
Fate: I like... things... too
Shamal: I've got my injections!
Signum: My sword swings through the air
Zafira: I provide the muscles
Chrono: And I have blue hair *straight face*
Shari: Me, I invent things
Vice: Mee mee mee meee!

Vita: Is everything all right in here?
All: Yes, Vita.

Nanoha Babies, we make our dreams come true
Nanoha Babies, we'll do the same for you

Nanoha Nanoha Nanoha Nanoha
Babies Babies Babies Babies
Make dreams come true.

don't tell me I was the only one who watched Muppet Babies growing up

No you aren't. *Raises hand with a guilty look*

[Tempy]

Originally Posted by TheShinySword

...

Spoiler for Nanoha Babies:

Nanoha Babies, we make our dreams come true
Nanoha Babies, we'll do the same for you

Yuuno: When your world looks kinda weird and you wish that you weren't there
Nanoha: Just close your eyes and make believe and you can be anywhere

Yuuno: I like adventure
Nanoha: I like romance
Hayate: I love breasts!
Fate: I like... things... too
Shamal: I've got my injections!
Signum: My sword swings through the air
Zafira: I provide the muscles
Chrono: And I have blue hair *straight face*
Shari: Me, I invent things
Vice: Mee mee mee meee!

Vita: Is everything all right in here?
All: Yes, Vita.

Nanoha Babies, we make our dreams come true
Nanoha Babies, we'll do the same for you

Nanoha Nanoha Nanoha Nanoha
Babies Babies Babies Babies
Make dreams come true.

don't tell me I was the only one who watched Muppet Babies growing up

My childhood called. It's suing for damages.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by TheShinySword

...

Spoiler for Nanoha Babies:

Nanoha Babies, we make our dreams come true
Nanoha Babies, we'll do the same for you

Yuuno: When your world looks kinda weird and you wish that you weren't there
Nanoha: Just close your eyes and make believe and you can be anywhere

Yuuno: I like adventure
Nanoha: I like romance
Hayate: I love breasts!
Fate: I like... things... too
Shamal: I've got my injections!
Signum: My sword swings through the air
Zafira: I provide the muscles
Chrono: And I have blue hair *straight face*
Shari: Me, I invent things
Vice: Mee mee mee meee!

Vita: Is everything all right in here?
All: Yes, Vita.

Nanoha Babies, we make our dreams come true
Nanoha Babies, we'll do the same for you

Nanoha Nanoha Nanoha Nanoha
Babies Babies Babies Babies
Make dreams come true.

don't tell me I was the only one who watched Muppet Babies growing up

.....

*slowly raises hand* I watched that show growing up.

[Rising Dragon]

Funnily enough, I didn't.

[Kaijo]

Just to show that I am equal-opportunity abuser, this is for all you NanoFate fans:

Spoiler for Pleasant Dinner Conversation:

It was a nice, expensive dining establishment, a place they had gathered to eat at often, on Earth. And a special quiet private booth in the back so as to allow them to talk about matters that sometimes didn't include Earth, without people nearby overhearing.

Plus, it helped that Arisa and Suzuka were incredibly rich.

"Hey you, two!" Hayate greeted, as she was shown to the table. Arisa and Suzuka were already there. She took a seat in the semi-circle booth next to Suzuka, her first real friend outside of the Wolkenritter.

"Hayate!" Suzuka nearly squealed, hugging the girl. "It's so good to see you! It's been, what, a year since we saw you last?"

The other girl blushed. "I-I think so. I'm so sorry, but things can get quite busy in the TSAB."

Arisa smiled. "Don't worry about it. You didn't come with Nanoha and Fate? Do you know if they were going to make it?"

"They should," Hayate replied, nodding. "I think they were planning to detour to drop off Vivio at the Infinity Library so Yuuno could watch her."

"Aw, I was kinda hoping to see her again," Suzuka replied, remembering when Nanoha and Fate brought her for a visit last time.

Arisa fiddled with her tea cup. "So, um, are Nanoha and Fate really still living together?"

When Hayate nodded again, Suzuka said, "I never really figured that Nanoha swung that way. I mean, she certainly didn't show any signs."

"I know what you mean," Arisa agreed. "She didn't really show interest in boys, but then again, she didn't seem to show that kind of interest in girls, either. And Fate, well, I couldn't really read her."

"Did I hear my name?" came a familar soft voice.

"Fate!" Arisa greeted, blushing a bit as the newcomer slid in next to her. "I'm sorry, we were just talking about you. Where's Nanoha?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," Fate apologized. "She'll be coming by in a bit. We were running a bit late, and she told me to go ahead. She'll catch up after she drops Vivio off."

The table quieted down for a moment, as the girls looked over the menu. Then Suzuka said, "So, how are things with Vivio? Are you two enjoying raising a daughter?"

Fate beamed. "It's very nice. I never did get to spend much time with Erio or Caro."

"Are you two considering having another child, like maybe a boy?" Hayate ventured.

"I'm not sure," Fate replied. "There aren't really much in the way of mid-childian children to adopt."

"How about possibly giving birth to one?" Arisa inquired. "I so want to be a mother someday..." Her eyes wavered a bit in her daydream.

"Giving what?" Fate asked, her face confused.

Hayate blinked. "You know, giving birth. Getting pregnant?"

Fate's face was still blank.

"Um, didn't your mom tell you about, um, pregnancy?" Arisa asked nervously.

Fate shook her head. "I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about. She never mentioned that."

A strange thought struck Suzuka. "You do know where babies come from, right?"

Fate smiled. "Of course! Don't be silly."

Arisa sighed while Suzuka and Hayate took a drink from their tea cups and looked at each other.

"They are cloned," she continued.

Arisa's eyes widened in shock as the other two wiped their faces from the tea they sprayed on each other.

"Are you two okay?" Fate asked.

"Fine, Fine, heh heh," Hayate assured her.

"Well, I was cloned, and Erio was cloned, and the cyborgs were cloned," Nanoha listed off. "I think Scaglietti was cloned, too. But the report said the council just created him, so I don't know."

"So you don't, um, with Nanoha..." Arisa started, wondering how to delicately phrase it.

Fate looked confused. "Don't what?"

Suzuka tried to keep her shaky hand still as she tried for more tea.

"..don't, um, you know, together at night, in the same bed..." Arisa continued, then trailed off.

"Sleep?" Fate offered. "Most of the time, when we're both home. We also watch TV together in bed sometimes, too."

Hayate managed to duck this time as Suzuka sprayed again.

"Suzuka?" Fate questioned. "Are you feeling alright?"

"I-I, uh, think I need to use the restroom real quick," Suzuka stammered out.

Fate stood up as well. "Really? I'll join you. I really rushed over here so I haven't had the chance."

The two girls left, and Hayate sat back down. "Wow."

Arisa nodded. "I know. It almost makes a weird kind of sense. From what I know of Precia, and Fate's childhood, she may have never been taught. And they didn't cover sex education when Fate was in our school."

"But what about Nanoha?" Hayate asked. "Surely she had some sex education."

A deep dread struck Arisa. "Um..."

Hayate froze. "What?"

"Well, the thing is," Arisa began nervously, "with Nanoha having to go off for TSAB trips and assignments so often, I had to take her notes, and I was kinda embarrassed at the time with the subject and I thought she already knew and it was a small part of the health course which she passed..."

There was dead silence again for a few minutes, then Hayate stated, "So you're telling me.. Nanoha might not know, EITHER!?"

"Might not know what?" Nanoha asked as she arrived, smiling.

"Oh, N-Nanoha, h-how good to see you!" Arisa managed, feeling her nerves becoming as frayed as Suzuka's.

The pony-tailed girl sat down next to Arisa. "It's good to see you, too! Are you feeling okay? You seem nervous."

Arisa laughed... nervously. "H-heh, I'm fine!" Her mouth was feeling dry by now, and the tea looked so inviting...

"Where are Suzuka and Fate?" Nanoha asked.

"In the restroom," Hayate replied, then asked to forestall the question. "And we were just talking about you not knowing if Fate or you wanted another child?"

Nanoha opened up her menu. "Well, I actually talked about it with Fate one night in bed that a boy might be nice, but we realized there weren't currently any other children for adoption on Mid-Childa and... Arisa? Is the tea that bad?"

"N-no, I just had a hiccup or something," Arisa replied, wiping her lips and chin, and then the table.

Hayate took a deep breath. "Nanoha... this might be a strange question, but... you do know where babies come from, right?"

Nanoha didn't raise her face from the menu. "Of course I know where babies come from; Fate explained it to me."

*whump*

"Suzuka, are you okay?" Fate's voice came from around the corner. "Let me help you up."

"I'm fine, really!" Suzuka replied, as the two girls came around the corner and sat down.

"I see your group is all here," the waitress noted as she came up. "Are you all ready to order?"

"YES!" came the shout from three girls.

Nanoha and Fate just looked at each other in confusion.


---------------------

Bonus Ending:

"No, of course I don't believe that all babies come from cloning," Yuuno told her. "I mean, some do, obviously."

Hayate sighed in relief. "That's good. Because I think you'll need to explain it to Nanoha, and I can't do it, and I fear for Vivio."

He nodded nonchalantly and returned to his book. "Sure, I'll explain it to her the same way the Scrya clan did to me. A mini-griffin brings them wrapped in a cloth."

*whump!*

Yuuno looked up. "Hayate...?"

-----------------------

Alternate Ending:

"Well that was a good meal," Nanoha said, satisfied, as the two headed back to their car.

Fate nodded. "It was, although those three girls seemed a bit strange today."

"Did you keep them confused as per the plan?"

Fate nodded, and the two high-fived each other.

I really need to get back to real writing, now that I got this out of my head...

[The Guy Named Zeo]

Originally Posted by TheShinySword

...

Spoiler for Nanoha Babies:

Nanoha Babies, we make our dreams come true
Nanoha Babies, we'll do the same for you

Yuuno: When your world looks kinda weird and you wish that you weren't there
Nanoha: Just close your eyes and make believe and you can be anywhere

Yuuno: I like adventure
Nanoha: I like romance
Hayate: I love breasts!
Fate: I like... things... too
Shamal: I've got my injections!
Signum: My sword swings through the air
Zafira: I provide the muscles
Chrono: And I have blue hair *straight face*
Shari: Me, I invent things
Vice: Mee mee mee meee!

Vita: Is everything all right in here?
All: Yes, Vita.

Nanoha Babies, we make our dreams come true
Nanoha Babies, we'll do the same for you

Nanoha Nanoha Nanoha Nanoha
Babies Babies Babies Babies
Make dreams come true.

don't tell me I was the only one who watched Muppet Babies growing up

One of my favorite shows while growing up.

[Nanya01]

Originally Posted by TheShinySword

...

Spoiler for Nanoha Babies:

Nanoha Babies, we make our dreams come true
Nanoha Babies, we'll do the same for you

Yuuno: When your world looks kinda weird and you wish that you weren't there
Nanoha: Just close your eyes and make believe and you can be anywhere

Yuuno: I like adventure
Nanoha: I like romance
Hayate: I love breasts!
Fate: I like... things... too
Shamal: I've got my injections!
Signum: My sword swings through the air
Zafira: I provide the muscles
Chrono: And I have blue hair *straight face*
Shari: Me, I invent things
Vice: Mee mee mee meee!

Vita: Is everything all right in here?
All: Yes, Vita.

Nanoha Babies, we make our dreams come true
Nanoha Babies, we'll do the same for you

Nanoha Nanoha Nanoha Nanoha
Babies Babies Babies Babies
Make dreams come true.

don't tell me I was the only one who watched Muppet Babies growing up

I did! I did!

[Rising Dragon]

Originally Posted by Kaijo

Just to show that I am equal-opportunity abuser, this is for all you NanoFate fans:

Spoiler for Pleasant Dinner Conversation:

*snip*

I really need to get back to real writing, now that I got this out of my head...

Oh, that was way too much!