AnimeSuki Forums

kaizerknight01 · 2012-11-25, 22:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by tsunade666

get wary of him and specially if they saw the video when Takeru was trashing the takemi and susanoo. Though I'm not sure for Hime because she is a honor guard. Maybe angry? though maybe not.

Possible TE cast i think will be wary and suspicious ( while sandek will be looking in to Takeru's background suspecting he's an off shoot European union super/cyborg project that integrated in ALT IV ....... But Yui Hime who's mental state is now jelly over Yuuya hmmm ..... brain storming .... for plot device ideas

Dragonkid11 · 2012-11-26, 05:41

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

I hail from Spacebattles. There's a different style of Self Insert fic there: SBer ends up in the universe, is fully aware they're where they are, and generally suffering ensues

That said, I wouldn't entirely say self insert is totally wrong. It depends on the story you're trying to tell; My Unnamed Alternative Fanfic is set a few years prior to Total Eclipse, and involves a cast based on people I know; it's partially an exploration of how we woulda turned out had we existed in that verse.

Knowing the pains and evils of SI, I made sure to kill my alternate self first

There's a story-ish kinda alternate timeline fic out there called Red Dawn 20 that's essentially entirely SI fanfic of Red Dawn, though it's run more or less like a roleplay of sorts, with posters saying what "they" (or rather, their roleplay Red Dawn selves) got up to. It's actually pretty interesting...

But generally the reason SI gets a bad rep is because most new authors do SI and can't really control themselves and get carried away.

Hmm...another problem that I have to solve...

Why?
Because there is going to be A LOT of character that I introduced into the universe and they appear YEARS before Total Eclipse and Alternative.While i still have to build up the drama,I think it is going to be hard to focus on our original main character here...

Any tips for this problem?

tsunade666 · 2012-11-26, 05:51

years? how long?

the Schwarzesmarken appear a lot earlier.

So it will involve with lots of original characters?

The problem with original characters is most of the time they shine more than the main character and the readers can't get along with them or understand them because they lack a good background to sympathize with unlike the main character of the series which the readers should be able to understand with. Their reason to fight, their character and quirks, their personality and also their dream or will. Original character if handled wrong will sound stupid and absurd but if its done right like in the fake faker dreams great mystic code maker then that OC will be greatly accepted and some other writers will even burrow the idea for that oc.

Its in the way you handle your characters and really. It takes time and lots of build up to make a likable original characters.

Dragonkid11 · 2012-11-26, 07:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by tsunade666

years? how long?

the Schwarzesmarken appear a lot earlier.

So it will involve with lots of original characters?

The problem with original characters is most of the time they shine more than the main character and the readers can't get along with them or understand them because they lack a good background to sympathize with unlike the main character of the series which the readers should be able to understand with. Their reason to fight, their character and quirks, their personality and also their dream or will. Original character if handled wrong will sound stupid and absurd but if its done right like in the fake faker dreams great mystic code maker then that OC will be greatly accepted and some other writers will even burrow the idea for that oc.

Its in the way you handle your characters and really. It takes time and lots of build up to make a likable original characters.

You could say I'm bringing a regiment of characters,most of them would be flat character,but I will focus more on some characters only,a veteran commander,an elite child soldier,a (very) mad scientist,an old technician,and a powered armor trooper that never seem to come out of his suit.

Also,again,I have to say,this is a crossover story.The group that those characters came from is rather well known in other fandom...and the other fandom only.Needless to say,it turns out that writing crossover story is rather hard considering you have fan from both side to please,and most of the time,they don't know stuff about the other side.

tsunade666 · 2012-11-26, 08:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dragonkid11

Also,again,I have to say,this is a crossover story.The group that those characters came from is rather well known in other fandom...and the other fandom only.Needless to say,it turns out that writing crossover story is rather hard considering you have fan from both side to please,and most of the time,they don't know stuff about the other side.

Not really, well it depends on the reader but most of the time. You will pick a story that you have at least an idea to it. thus even if you right a crossover the most likely readers you will have are readers who are familiar with both series.

Crossover difficulty would also depend on the compatibility of the story. It depends on 2 or more story your trying to mesh up with. If the setting of the 2 are vastly different then it will be hard but if most of it are the same then it will be a lot easier.

Dragonkid11 · 2012-11-26, 08:41

Quote:

Originally Posted by tsunade666

Not really, well it depends on the reader but most of the time. You will pick a story that you have at least an idea to it. thus even if you right a crossover the most likely readers you will have are readers who are familiar with both series.

Crossover difficulty would also depend on the compatibility of the story. It depends on 2 or more story your trying to mesh up with. If the setting of the 2 are vastly different then it will be hard but if most of it are the same then it will be a lot easier.

Well,one is hardcore mecha combat tabletop game,the other is drama about a world being engulfed by horde of alien.

I say that rather fitting...except the other series is rather well known for only having human faction(basically,political shitstorm that lasted a MILLENNIUM) and no alien.Only non-intelligent one exist.

Anyway,thank you for answering my question,that helped a lot.

Wild Goose · 2012-11-26, 09:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dragonkid11

You could say I'm bringing a regiment of characters,most of them would be flat character,but I will focus more on some characters only,a veteran commander,an elite child soldier,a (very) mad scientist,an old technician,and a powered armor trooper that never seem to come out of his suit.

Also,again,I have to say,this is a crossover story.The group that those characters came from is rather well known in other fandom...and the other fandom only.Needless to say,it turns out that writing crossover story is rather hard considering you have fan from both side to please,and most of the time,they don't know stuff about the other side.

Simplest way to run this, IMO, is to treat your fanfic as if it could be a chapter of TSFiA. We don't have to focus on the Alt or TE cast, TSFiA showed that. Just make sure that it's believable and internally consistent with what has been seen so far.

MrTerrorist · 2012-11-26, 10:59

Quote:

Originally Posted by tsunade666

Guh.... I know I ... had.... a ... high.... resistance.. in reading fanfic but.... man this hits critical level in a way.

I don't like oc characters that stands too much in the way that the original characters are being ignored.

I tried to read it up to chapter 5 terminal and still trying to read it but my verdict to it comes when.... gundam from seed and gn drive comes into play........... the f*:0 when I realize that the guy collins guy has the same name as the author.... man.... it felt like the author insert himself on the story to save the world. I would love it if not for the overly perfect guy.

I hate kirito for this reason.

DON'T LIKE PERFECT MC!!!!!

This one felt the same when I read the armored core crossover with muv luv but at least adler is a character I would love to bash and hate that I ended up managing to read the story but this one...... ugh........ I .... will..... try........ to persevere in reading it........ but darn to many plot holes and mystery or just darn plot holes that I can't understand and I would like an explanation.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Azrulnin

Putting too much oc character tend to be a disaster. Much worse if it was author self insert. IMHO neglecting the main character in the fanfic means the story lose its originality. Some are ok,but most tend to have a godlike oc that pretty much destroying the story.

tsunade666 was right, that fanfic tend to make the reader banging their head at the monitor screen.It was too much... a so call perfect mc it's ridiculous.I do understand the rule of the fanfic writer: my story my rules but this is too much. Read until chapter 4,but discard it afterwards. My opinion, self insert author fic

Correct me if i was wrong ok.....

That's exactly how i feel about this fanfic. The more i read it, the more i just want to beat something and say "No, just No! This isn't right! You can't do that!".

Now, to the wait the better fanfics to update like Muv Luv Comet.

Alastor Mobius Toth · 2012-11-27, 05:34

Spoiler for Accurate representation of AMT when creating Muv-Luv fanfiction:

The next chapter of Comet may come sooner then expected, since I decided to split the current one in two; otherwise there's no physical way for it to be done until after Christmas.

John117xCortana · 2012-11-27, 10:49

Oh great. We have another Illusive Man.

Wild Goose · 2012-11-27, 12:40

Well, to be fair, that's the dude from the anime, and the DCI in Comet is one Jack Harper...

John117xCortana · 2012-11-27, 13:00

How would Stella react to this ?

Stella: Do you have a problem with me ? You don't talk much everytime I'm around when we're off duty.

Male OC: What ? No, I don't have a problem with you. It's nothing like that at all. It's just that I don't know how to talk to a beautiful dame..woman...beautiful woman..I...I mean you are beautiful I just....God damn it..(facepalm in shame)

Alastor Mobius Toth · 2012-11-27, 14:29

To be honest, Harper was intended as a homage; he isn't meant to be TIM himself, but alas, Cerberus is very much like CIA in Muv-Luv setting - in fact, MuvLuv reminds me very heavily of Mass Effect to begin with. (U.N is the Citadel, various nations are the aliens, BETAs are Reapers, Yuuko is more tech-savvy Javik). Anderson was pretty much thrown in there for lulz and more homage - it evolved from there. Granted though, it fitted just so well with what I was planning to do, that I couldn't resist myself.

Ultimately, the final villain of Comet will be someone completely different. If you really want to translate it into homage terms, said villain would be Harbinger meeting Kane high on Gendo Ikari. That's of course great simplification, and I'll probably work even more on them before they appear. So don't worry about spoilers.

Do worry about cast body count.

Also, TIM is the only western villain to use this kind of set up. We have latest incarnation of the Master from Dr. Who, Cigarette Smoking Man, Bob Page...

Also, now I want to write Yuuya Bridges super-spy saga for some reason.

"My name is Bridges. Yuuya Bridges" *walks up to Yui in sharp tux, whom he immediately scoops into his arms while riding off in Aston Martin.*

*Finds Cryska dressed in nothing but black tong when he gets back to his house.*
"Was that all you were wearing?"
"Yes!"
"And they say that Russia is a dour place" *takes off the tie, camera pans out*

-----

On topic: I think she would be amused. Stella seems like an easy-going person in this kind of matters. I'm sure she'd crack some joke, or try to subtly tease the OC.

John117xCortana · 2012-11-27, 22:06

She'd say something like "Oh my. You certainly know how to flirt with a girl." ?

Alastor Mobius Toth · 2012-12-01, 12:35

You can blame WildGoose for inducing me to do this.

"In the 40th Millennium there is only War, and the laughter of the thirsty Gods, as they indulge in the price that Man paid for His salvation."

Yuuyahrne - The Blood God. Master of Hatred, Anger, War, Slaughter, Blood, Honor, Courage, Combat, War.

Sacred TSF - Blood-stained Shiranui

Let's face it, Yuuya has the capacity to be always angry, all the time. There's a lot of delicious hate that he can use to punch people in the face while jumping out of Battlebarge that's about to crash into the surface. And if his reaction to Cui is anything he enjoys a good fight. With right nudge, we have the most badass Chaos Champion that pisses Badass and eats Bratty Saviors for lunch and sleeping with Yuiinesh

Cryskgla - The Grandmother of Plagues. Mistress of Despair, suffering, plague, decay, rot, community, will to live.

Sacred TSF - battered Terminator

Hmmmm, an emotionless "doll" that nether the less has a will to live, accepts her fate, yet has a man to love? Sounds like a Nurgle cultist. Plus, while Yui has all that jealousy and hoarding potential, Cryska seems like a person who'd share Yuuya, providing she accepts the third person.

Yuiinesh - The Dark Hime-sama, the Serpentess, She Who Thirsts. Goddess of pleasure, pain, depravity, indulgence, beauty, excellence

Sacred TSF - Gold Takemikazuchi with purple patches made out of Satin.

Let's face it - Yui is a repressed, repressed sweet little thing. She's one of those people you could just drug and watch how their breathing quickens, their eyes widen and they become simply drunk on life itself now that their self-restrain is gone. Plus, with Yuuya not giving a dammn and all those hoes running around, Yui might just go extreme, sneak into his room and seduce him into the hottest and most depraved night know to Man. Plus, her dedication to being the best and being beautiful seem like something that would sit well with Slaanesh.

Iniazinchi - The Architect of Fate, Changer of Ways, the Great Conspirator. Goddess of magic, knowledge, ambition, treachery, corruption, plotting, hope, extra-sensory powers

Sacred TSF - Berkut with its pointlessly glowing aura

Inia's Keikaku Dorii grin tells us all that we need to know. Her grin when Sandek formulates the plan to use Yuuya for his plan also shows that she was either aware of this from beginning, or was actively trying for this to happen. And that's besides that she clearly manipulates Cryska and Yui to fight over Yuuya.

...Now, I have to write a story about this.

Dragonkid11 · 2012-12-01, 20:57

This IS NOT GOOD

......
I want to read it

Wild Goose · 2012-12-03, 02:02

I kinda feel the same way as Dragonkid 11.

Also, a random idea I had this afternoon, while running some errands: Altered Fable Total Eclipse.

What connects these people? The fact that they're all members of the Closed Beta Test for Valgren-Online: Total Eclipse.

VOTE is a new idea proposed by one Jerzy Sandek, a Polish-born employee of ScamcoBundai, which takes the company's already popular Valgren-On franchise form the Arcades and to the PC. The idea is to bring Valgren-On to a worldwide audience, as well as tie ups with Folks' A3 line of figures; buy the A3s, get a code to unlock VOTE gear, etc etc.

Enter Yui, who by day is your usual typical blur airhead hardworking student... and by night, a demon of the internet, fighting side-by-side with her best friend Kazusa. Then we have Yuuya Bridges, who plays on the American servers, and one day accidentally connects to the JP servers and has a run in with Yui...

... and that's really all I had. Basically Argos Flight are Beta testers. <.<

MeisterBabylon · 2012-12-03, 06:32

...SAO?

Dragonkid11 · 2012-12-03, 07:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by MeisterBabylon

...SAO?

NO,Altered Fable is comedy,not drama
Also,it's 2001,advanced stuff won't be here any time soon....unless Mitsurugi has something to do with it.
-------
Of course,you could always just make everyone stuck in the game but still able to respawn

Alastor Mobius Toth · 2012-12-03, 08:08

I can imagine an Altered Fable where Yuuya is an exchange student from America. Since there was no BETA nomming, his dad is alive and well, and Yuuya gets put up with his Japanese family for the duration of his stay.

While not being a diligent engineering student with military ambitions, he's an avid gaming fan, being formerly in professional e-sport team "Infinities". While in Japan, he gets an invite to a new online game "Total Eclipse", on account of his performance. One day he logs on with his buddies onto Japanese servers, and runs into couple of players that are quite professional. One of those players if of course certain Yui Takamura, who on that night was indulging her friend Kazusa.

Then one thing leads to another and she becomes interested in Yuuya...only to find out competition in Cui, whose Yuuya's old friend and Cryska, Russian exchange student whose fascinated by Yuuya's tech skill and her cousin Inia, that just plain crushes on him and wants to jump his bones.

And then, we have her step-dad Sandek, whose working on the game on behalf of AMT Industries, Yui's uncle and mom who are rooting for her, Yuuya's awesome dad and MILFcommander Latorova.

Drama can be provided by love issues and AMT's plotting to financially ruin Mitsurugi group.

2012-11-26, 05:51	Link #503
tsunade666 Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: In my room	years? how long? the Schwarzesmarken appear a lot earlier. So it will involve with lots of original characters? The problem with original characters is most of the time they shine more than the main character and the readers can't get along with them or understand them because they lack a good background to sympathize with unlike the main character of the series which the readers should be able to understand with. Their reason to fight, their character and quirks, their personality and also their dream or will. Original character if handled wrong will sound stupid and absurd but if its done right like in the fake faker dreams great mystic code maker then that OC will be greatly accepted and some other writers will even burrow the idea for that oc. Its in the way you handle your characters and really. It takes time and lots of build up to make a likable original characters. __________________ To A certain Lonely Hero

2012-11-27, 05:34	Link #509
Alastor Mobius Toth Idar Lead Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: World Marshall bureau	Spoiler for Accurate representation of AMT when creating Muv-Luv fanfiction: I'm warning you, Mr. Bridges. Do not interfere with my plans. The next chapter of Comet may come sooner then expected, since I decided to split the current one in two; otherwise there's no physical way for it to be done until after Christmas. __________________ Let the world fear us all. It's just means to an end. Our salvation lies in the Father's sins.

2012-11-27, 12:40	Link #511
Wild Goose Truth Martyr Author Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Doing Anzu's paperwork. Age: 38	Well, to be fair, that's the dude from the anime, and the DCI in Comet is one Jack Harper... __________________ One must forgive one's enemies, but not before they are hanged.Heinrich Heine. *I believe in miracles.* Order of Freelance Mages (Goose's Nanoha OC Project)

2012-11-27, 14:29	Link #513
Alastor Mobius Toth Idar Lead Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: World Marshall bureau	To be honest, Harper was intended as a homage; he isn't meant to be TIM himself, but alas, Cerberus is very much like CIA in Muv-Luv setting - in fact, MuvLuv reminds me very heavily of Mass Effect to begin with. (U.N is the Citadel, various nations are the aliens, BETAs are Reapers, Yuuko is more tech-savvy Javik). Anderson was pretty much thrown in there for lulz and more homage - it evolved from there. Granted though, it fitted just so well with what I was planning to do, that I couldn't resist myself. Ultimately, the final villain of Comet will be someone completely different. If you really want to translate it into homage terms, said villain would be Harbinger meeting Kane high on Gendo Ikari. That's of course great simplification, and I'll probably work even more on them before they appear. So don't worry about spoilers. Do worry about cast body count. Also, TIM is the only western villain to use this kind of set up. We have latest incarnation of the Master from Dr. Who, Cigarette Smoking Man, Bob Page... Also, now I want to write Yuuya Bridges super-spy saga for some reason. "My name is Bridges. Yuuya Bridges" walks up to Yui in sharp tux, whom he immediately scoops into his arms while riding off in Aston Martin. Finds Cryska dressed in nothing but black tong when he gets back to his house. "Was that all you were wearing?" "Yes!" "And they say that Russia is a dour place" takes off the tie, camera pans out ----- On topic: I think she would be amused. Stella seems like an easy-going person in this kind of matters. I'm sure she'd crack some joke, or try to subtly tease the OC. __________________ Let the world fear us all. It's just means to an end. Our salvation lies in the Father's sins.

2012-12-01, 12:35	Link #515
Alastor Mobius Toth Idar Lead Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: World Marshall bureau	You can blame WildGoose for inducing me to do this. "In the 40th Millennium there is only War, and the laughter of the thirsty Gods, as they indulge in the price that Man paid for His salvation." Yuuyahrne - The Blood God. Master of Hatred, Anger, War, Slaughter, Blood, Honor, Courage, Combat, War. Sacred TSF - Blood-stained Shiranui Let's face it, Yuuya has the capacity to be always angry, all the time. There's a lot of delicious hate that he can use to punch people in the face while jumping out of Battlebarge that's about to crash into the surface. And if his reaction to Cui is anything he enjoys a good fight. With right nudge, we have the most badass Chaos Champion that pisses Badass and eats Bratty Saviors for lunch and sleeping with Yuiinesh Cryskgla - The Grandmother of Plagues. Mistress of Despair, suffering, plague, decay, rot, community, will to live. Sacred TSF - battered Terminator Hmmmm, an emotionless "doll" that nether the less has a will to live, accepts her fate, yet has a man to love? Sounds like a Nurgle cultist. Plus, while Yui has all that jealousy and hoarding potential, Cryska seems like a person who'd share Yuuya, providing she accepts the third person. Yuiinesh - The Dark Hime-sama, the Serpentess, She Who Thirsts. Goddess of pleasure, pain, depravity, indulgence, beauty, excellence Sacred TSF - Gold Takemikazuchi with purple patches made out of Satin. Let's face it - Yui is a repressed, repressed sweet little thing. She's one of those people you could just drug and watch how their breathing quickens, their eyes widen and they become simply drunk on life itself now that their self-restrain is gone. Plus, with Yuuya not giving a dammn and all those hoes running around, Yui might just go extreme, sneak into his room and seduce him into the hottest and most depraved night know to Man. Plus, her dedication to being the best and being beautiful seem like something that would sit well with Slaanesh. Iniazinchi - The Architect of Fate, Changer of Ways, the Great Conspirator. Goddess of magic, knowledge, ambition, treachery, corruption, plotting, hope, extra-sensory powers Sacred TSF - Berkut with its pointlessly glowing aura Inia's Keikaku Dorii grin tells us all that we need to know. Her grin when Sandek formulates the plan to use Yuuya for his plan also shows that she was either aware of this from beginning, or was actively trying for this to happen. And that's besides that she clearly manipulates Cryska and Yui to fight over Yuuya. ...Now, I have to write a story about this. __________________ Let the world fear us all. It's just means to an end. Our salvation lies in the Father's sins.

2012-11-27, 10:49	Link #510
John117xCortana Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2010	Oh great. We have another Illusive Man.

2012-11-27, 13:00	Link #512
John117xCortana Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2010	How would Stella react to this ? Stella: Do you have a problem with me ? You don't talk much everytime I'm around when we're off duty. Male OC: What ? No, I don't have a problem with you. It's nothing like that at all. It's just that I don't know how to talk to a beautiful dame..woman...beautiful woman..I...I mean you are beautiful I just....God damn it..(facepalm in shame)

2012-11-27, 22:06	Link #514
John117xCortana Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2010	She'd say something like "Oh my. You certainly know how to flirt with a girl." ?

2012-12-01, 20:57	Link #516
Dragonkid11 A random-man Join Date: Aug 2009	This IS NOT GOOD ...... I want to read it

2012-12-03, 02:02	Link #517
Wild Goose Truth Martyr Author Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Doing Anzu's paperwork. Age: 38	I kinda feel the same way as Dragonkid 11. Also, a random idea I had this afternoon, while running some errands: Altered Fable Total Eclipse. What connects these people? The fact that they're all members of the Closed Beta Test for Valgren-Online: Total Eclipse. VOTE is a new idea proposed by one Jerzy Sandek, a Polish-born employee of ScamcoBundai, which takes the company's already popular Valgren-On franchise form the Arcades and to the PC. The idea is to bring Valgren-On to a worldwide audience, as well as tie ups with Folks' A3 line of figures; buy the A3s, get a code to unlock VOTE gear, etc etc. Enter Yui, who by day is your usual typical blur airhead hardworking student... and by night, a demon of the internet, fighting side-by-side with her best friend Kazusa. Then we have Yuuya Bridges, who plays on the American servers, and one day accidentally connects to the JP servers and has a run in with Yui... ... and that's really all I had. Basically Argos Flight are Beta testers. <.< __________________ One must forgive one's enemies, but not before they are hanged.Heinrich Heine. *I believe in miracles.* Order of Freelance Mages (Goose's Nanoha OC Project)

2012-12-03, 06:32	Link #518
MeisterBabylon ~ Your Smile ~ Author Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: 346Pro Age: 38	...SAO? __________________ 白露型駆逐艦の４番艦、夕立です。第三次ソロモン海戦では、けっこう頑張ったっぽい★？

2012-12-03, 08:08	Link #520
Alastor Mobius Toth Idar Lead Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: World Marshall bureau	I can imagine an Altered Fable where Yuuya is an exchange student from America. Since there was no BETA nomming, his dad is alive and well, and Yuuya gets put up with his Japanese family for the duration of his stay. While not being a diligent engineering student with military ambitions, he's an avid gaming fan, being formerly in professional e-sport team "Infinities". While in Japan, he gets an invite to a new online game "Total Eclipse", on account of his performance. One day he logs on with his buddies onto Japanese servers, and runs into couple of players that are quite professional. One of those players if of course certain Yui Takamura, who on that night was indulging her friend Kazusa. Then one thing leads to another and she becomes interested in Yuuya...only to find out competition in Cui, whose Yuuya's old friend and Cryska, Russian exchange student whose fascinated by Yuuya's tech skill and her cousin Inia, that just plain crushes on him and wants to jump his bones. And then, we have her step-dad Sandek, whose working on the game on behalf of AMT Industries, Yui's uncle and mom who are rooting for her, Yuuya's awesome dad and MILFcommander Latorova. Drama can be provided by love issues and AMT's plotting to financially ruin Mitsurugi group. __________________ Let the world fear us all. It's just means to an end. Our salvation lies in the Father's sins.