2008-01-16, 18:05 | Link #241 | |
Wild card
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Finland
Age: 39
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...He's evil right down to the point where even the reader just wants to hurt him as badly as possible. ...and i'm going to miss that piece of the chair that i wrenched off accidentally while reading... Edit: Woo! page claim!
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2008-01-16, 18:31 | Link #243 |
Sleep beneath the flowers
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Lording above all of humanity >;3
Age: 34
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Wow that sounds like a pretty evil guy
Aegina so far on paper has boiled down to a sort of blood thirsty, borderline pyschopathic, and slightly er... Let us just say lustful. Yes go with that. Not sure if she'll appear in Ashes unto Dust or in my friend's though.
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2008-01-16, 18:58 | Link #244 |
Vividly Vivio
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Krisslanza's profile has been updated
Eagle's profile has been updated Saint X's profile has been updated I backtracked several posts but I KNOW I'm missing someone I was supposed to archive.... Could you please direct me to what it was you wanted, whoever it was? Sorry, I'm just missing it but I know it's there >.< (sorry, I'm still new at archiving, I suck at finding things >< )
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Last edited by Satashi; 2008-01-16 at 20:14. |
2008-01-16, 22:18 | Link #245 | ||||
The OTHER Time Lord
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: The "Other" TARDIS
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Granted, your style isn't as solid as Satashi's, but your works work with much more EPIC source material... Here's a comparison: Your works, if made into movies, would probably be the summer blockbusters: Transformers, Pirates of the Caribbean, Spider-Man, Lord of the Rings,, and whatnot. Satashi's works, if made into movies, would be the romantic comedies: Love Actually, When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, The Holiday, and so forth. Said another way, Satashi's works are the ones that win Academy Awards (so to speak), while yours are the ones that make $500 million at the box office. Quote:
Tom Clancy you should know. If you don't, then don't say so or I'll send Fuko and her starfish after you. Clive Cussler is the author of over a dozen novels, going all the way back to the 70s. They feature a fictional government agency, NUMA, and the star is Dirk Pitt, a man who is Bond, Batman, and Indy all rolled into one. Cussler specializes in techno-thrillers. Jack DuBrul is another author whose specialty is the techno-thriller. His hero is Phillip Mercer, freelance geologist. James Clavell is the author of the Asian Saga, whose first novel is well known to ANYONE: Shogun. The book was made into a miniseries starring Richard Chamberlain, John Rhys-Davies, and Toshiro Mifune. Umberto Eco is the sort of man who looks even CLANNAD's Kotomi-chan look like a fool - he's received over 30 doctorates from academic institutions worldwide. He's written TWO novels, both amazing. The first was The Name of the Rose, which was later made into a movie with Sean Connery. Despite the AWESOME lead actor, the movie STILL does not compare to the book. The other is Foucault's Pendulum, which I'm reading right now. Be warned: Eco is NOT an easy read. I sometimes find myself having to go back and reread sections - - and I was reading guys like Tolkien, Dumas, and Bram Stoker at the age of TEN. Right now, I'm looking for a copy of Murasaki's Genji Monogatari - if THAT tells you anymore. Quote:
Do I have to get out Mr. Beat Stick again? You seem to know some things... do you play? |
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2008-01-16, 22:43 | Link #246 | |
Vividly Vivio
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I think "Nyan" is the correct kitty sound. but "Nya" is the more commonly used one. I thought it was a meow too... [edit]: Yes, I play. I have a level 70 Grand Marshal rogue (also rival, challenger, justicar, gladiator) and my current character is a level 70 restro shaman. World of Warcraft = my life lol
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Last edited by Satashi; 2008-01-16 at 23:37. |
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2008-01-16, 23:03 | Link #247 | ||||
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: On a dot.
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...Though I have to admit I didn't think anyone would be affected by him that much. O.o Cause he's just a sort of random character out of the blue that I dumped evilness and evilness and evilness into it. I'm not much of a creator, which is why I usually stay far, far away from OC characters. I would have used Jail, but he's not quite suitable either. *tries to fix chair but ends up making it squeaky* ...Well. At least you can still, uh, sit on it... Quote:
...but it could be entertaining. The fandom needs more bad guys so I can use them for...certain purposes... |
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2008-01-16, 23:22 | Link #248 | |
It can't be...
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: P-Town
Age: 36
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My stomach did a flip when I realized what needed to be done for the "game." Heck, I felt desperate right along with Nanoha. I didn't want what needed to happen, happen, but then I also didn't want to see the others die. I look forward to the next chapter. (You evil cliffhanger person) |
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2008-01-17, 00:46 | Link #249 |
Vividly Vivio
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Saved by the bell
Length:8,000 words Status: chapter -complete. Spellcheck -not yet. Card -not yet. diary entries- not yet. ETA: Tomorrow night 100%. Estimated length: about 9,000 words I don't like the start of this chapter, as it's just random WAFF. Doesn't do anything for the plot, but does make characters get closer. Anyway, the END of this chapter I rather like. I got some great Precia/Fate moments and the diary entries will be great as well. Also got a TON of plot out of the way. So I think this chapter averaged out okay. Oh, one thing though. I got a review saying that they felt as if this chapter was about "two American teens" and not really Nanoha/Fate.....Well, I don't know how much like the canon characters I can get them, as they don't use magic nor are interested in the military... Am I doing an okay job with them? Suggestions on how to improve it? As far as "American" goes...well, I can't really see that. After school activities. Clubs. Cosplay café. School uniforms. I don't really know how I made them come off as "American"....I do intentionally use dollars in this story instead of yen. And first name first, last name last (which I don't know why...) But other than that, is there anything I can do to make this more....Japanese-y? all help appreciated >.<
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2008-01-17, 01:12 | Link #250 | |
"Kirnen"
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Other than that, You'll have to wait for someone else to comment, because I'm damn-near nil on Japanese culture and passtimes. |
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2008-01-17, 01:56 | Link #251 | |
Member
Join Date: Mar 2004
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I was the one who left that review. sorry I didn't elaborate more. This is just my feelings on it. When I said American, I meant some of the dialogue and some aspects of Nanoha and Fate’s personality, not the Japanese culture/school part. (e.g. using “Oh man…” or “Come now, up and at'm silly girl” and a few other really North American colloquial phrases.) And Fate seemed a little too open and not shy? (e.g. when she was telling Nanoha that she slept in the nude, or referencing an orgasm while eating that cookie in chapter 3. didn’t really feel very Fate to me… more like a North American teenager.) Like in A’s, Fate was soft-spoken and easily embarrassed (e.g. A’s drama CD, Fate got embarrassed at the bath house because Amy let loose that she can’t wash her hair alone and kept insisting that she could) … even in StrikerS. Here, she was more socially adapted than in A’s so it explains the lack of shyness but she was still reserved in a polite… more quiet manner (e.g. last ep of StrikerS, everyone was all rallied for the all-out battle but Fate was the one who had reservations at first). And even though she was close to Nanoha, they were still quite polite with each other and their interactions tend to be more... soft (don't really know how to say this... maybe I'll think of it later) and unlike the end of the first season, Fate and Nanoha have yet to go through a similar big breakthrough in your fic so I just felt that Fate was opening up a little too quickly. Asian cultures tend to be more reserved about sharing personal details (especially family details) unless the person is really really close to them. Precia, although very interesting and fun this way, seemed just a little too perky. A nice Precia for me would be easier to imagine if she was like the Precia in Fate’s dream in Nanoha A’s when she was sucked into the Book of Darkness. but all in all, this is an alternate universe so lots of things are up to interpretation. whatever feels best for you. |
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2008-01-17, 02:23 | Link #252 | |
Wild card
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Finland
Age: 39
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Well, i do agree, atleast partially, with you about fate's personality quirks...
...but otherwise the characters seems rather plausible to be japanese. Also, the ways things are said could be interpreted as north american way of saying stuff because it's written in english, hence all the sayings and figures of speech should be english, and since the writer probably isn't that familiar with british sayings, she goes with north american ones. ...@Satashi-chan: please keep writing them as you have, because if you start rewriting the personalities and quirks that they possess atm, you'll end up with some real sketchy plot holes (in the lack of a better term) and it'll downgrade the overall quality of the story. Just remember, you can't please everyone, and it's your fic so you write it as you wish. Quote:
...oh, and don't mind the chair, the armrest had been both squeaky and loose for quite a while... it's only a bit more so now (as in, unattached)
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Last edited by SpaceBrotha; 2008-01-17 at 02:40. Reason: added something for eagle =) |
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2008-01-17, 09:00 | Link #253 | |
Vividly Vivio
Author
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I kinda get what you're saying now. A few things, like dialog, was made because like someone else said, this is a fanfic in English. So I use English phrases. I try to keep Japanese things if I can, like greeting "Good morning" never happened at my school. It was always"yo" "sup" "hi" or no greeting at all, just talking.
Hmmm....Fate. I think I said this before, on the old thread, so I'll give my thoughts again. Fate, to me, isn't so much as shy but easily embarrassed. In A's, Fate never really held back her thoughts or actions. In the manga, she was open and forward (like during the dodge ball game, she was the leader and it showed). However, when someone teased her in anyway, she got embarrassed super fast and tried to defend herself. I think I portrayed that in SbtB well? Okay, them being too open too soon... *thinks* Well, Fate has a crush and therefore naturally likes Nanoha. She perked Fate's interest right away you could say. I do agree that they seem to have gotten close so soon. But so far around two months have passed since they met. I tried in this new chapter to kind of give a reasoning for Nanoha being so clingy to Fate. Hopefully that will help this out. Let me know if it worked when it's posted? Precia...Hooooboy. Can't deny that one at all XD! She's too perky, too lively, too out spoken, and a lot of other "too" 's as well lol. I'll have to say here that I.... well, I used "author's privileges in an Alternate Universe" to shape her up. How did I get her personality? My aunt hahaha. My aunt is just like Precia in this story. I think Fate really needs a good mother and since I had the chance.... I'm making up for all those bad things I wrote about Fate with this story XD! (actually no, I'm embarrassing 10 years off Fate's life ) I can't change the characters now since I'm in so far, but I can start making things a little better. Do you have any suggestions on things they might do instead of what they have been? Like, instead of "up and at'm silly girl" What do you think should have been said? I'll try to adjust a little without exactly changing what they are. Quote:
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2008-01-17, 09:51 | Link #254 | |
VxR Productions
IT Support
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THE POWER OF OC COMPELS YOU!!! THE POWER OF OC COMPELS YOU!!! THE POWER OF OC COMPELS YOU!!! THE POWER OF OC COMPELS YOU!!! </GEASS> RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!!! RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!!! RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!!! RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!!! </Borg> === On another note, might as well read and dig up some more of my pieces...
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2008-01-17, 10:10 | Link #255 |
Sleep beneath the flowers
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Lording above all of humanity >;3
Age: 34
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Ok I have a timeline down now! Since I have a 4 day weekend (I don't have classes on Friday, and I don't feel motivated to spend $2.50 tomorrow to get to use the computers for 5 hours, they close early on Friday) I'll use as much of that weekend as I need to finish School of Lyrical chapter 3. It must be finished I say! I've taken far longer then I wanted as is already because I'm so lazy
Then any freetime will go into turning my Arc-en-Ciel teaser into an official prologue. I've decided Yggdra Union fic gets the boot down on my list to below finishing Rune and other things. Low priority to me now Nanoha has consumed my soul
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2008-01-17, 11:01 | Link #256 | |
Vividly Vivio
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Start writing, and pay that two fifty!
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2008-01-17, 11:12 | Link #257 | |
Fate's fan
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Belgium
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But, of course I prefer Nanoha and Fate and even if they change much, I like this imagine side of characters. (sorry if nobody understand me XD!!) |
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2008-01-17, 11:23 | Link #258 | |
Vividly Vivio
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I'm told Precia is a lot of character's favourite lol. So, how about some fun. Blame Haru for showing me how to use polls >< Vote for your fave character in SbtB http://snappoll.com/poll/245211.php
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2008-01-17, 11:24 | Link #259 | |
Sleep beneath the flowers
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Lording above all of humanity >;3
Age: 34
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Well I guess it wouldn't hurt :P I've been eating like a bag of chips and a candy bar for lunch so I have left over lunch money I could spend on bus fare instead... I think I'll do that. I'm a internet addict anyway I'll use Friday as my last day (until Tuesday) to plot out Arc-en-Ciel with my friend and use Saturday, Sunday, and Monday for vigorous writing
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2008-01-17, 11:34 | Link #260 | |||||
Member
Join Date: Mar 2004
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"Get up!!"..."Wake up!!" ... "Come on, get up!" It's plain but.... the exclamation points help? heh |
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authorshipping, befriending, fanfiction, interactive fanfiction, nanoha |
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