I can't tell for Snowman, but I can tell everyone here that I'm about to start that I'm about to start writing that small fic involving Welkin based on that famous scene from Legends of the Fall soon. I'm not sure about how long it will take, but it should be a short one with 1 or 2 chapters at the most.
Last edited by KiraYamatoFan; 2012-04-20 at 13:51.
It was TWO things, One; I was finishing up my Dragon Age 2 Fanfic. Which has nothing to do over here, so I didn't comment. Just one more chapter and it's all over with.
Two, I was hoping to get your input *Runty* about 'Kisses' before I continued. These stories, the last bunch, are more of a collaboration than anything else. I may be writing the stories, but the main ideas weren't really mine. And what I post over at the FF site, I can't take total ownership for.
So, I was waiting for the other co-owners input before I continued. These parts, the kisses, can make or break the story. When, where or even IF they're put into the story may make or break all of it.
It was TWO things, One; I was finishing up my Dragon Age 2 Fanfic. Which has nothing to do over here, so I didn't comment. Just one more chapter and it's all over with.
Two, I was hoping to get your input *Runty* about 'Kisses' before I continued. These stories, the last bunch, are more of a collaboration than anything else. I may be writing the stories, but the main ideas weren't really mine. And what I post over at the FF site, I can't take total ownership for.
So, I was waiting for the other co-owners input before I continued. These parts, the kisses, can make or break the story. When, where or even IF they're put into the story may make or break all of it.
I'd defer to DC20's opinion. He basically took the words right out of my mouth.
As I once wrote, I planned to write a fic inspired by a scene in Legends of the Fall and here's the first chapter. I plan to write this story as a matter of 2 or 3 chapters at the most, so it should be short (unlike my other fics).
Spoiler for Descent into Darkness and Back:
Chapter 1: Descent
August 23, 1935
Following the success in Fouzen, Squad 7 of the Gallian militia was sent to the Northern coast in order to take back the country’s primary industrial region. For that matter, the first objective was to take back Marberry Shore. Because of narrow paths along the coast and heavily fortified cliff faces on the beaches, a frontal assault by any force was thought to be impossible. However, the solution to the problem came from one of the youngest and yet the most ingenious member of the squad, Isara Gunther. Indeed, 16-year-old Isara made enough smoke bombs to cover the advance of her squadmates past the 2 pillboxes defending the entry point towards the enemy camp. From there, the Edelweiss tank and Squad 7’s soldiers managed to take down all enemy forces and take control of the area.
Unknown to everyone, the aftermath of this battle was also about to become the beginning of a journey to darkness for Isara’s brother, Welkin.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
With the battle over and the base secure, members of Squad 7 were taking a brief break to recover from the strain of fighting. Rosie approached Isara who was performing maintenance on the Edelweiss.
“Isara.”
“Hi Rosie, how can I help you?”
“Well... You have already.” the former singer said as she was holding the Darcsen doll Isara gave her before the battle.
“You mean the doll I made? I didn’t know you kept it.” Isara said with a surprised look on her face considering how Rosie had a strong hatred for the Darcsen people until recently.
“You said it was a ‘protecting charm’, didn’t you?” Rosie said while all people from the squad were also surprised by her change of heart. “I still owe you one from the Feast, so... Anything you want, just name it.”
“Let me think... You know what? I’d like to hear you sing, Rosie.”
“Huh? You want me to... sing?” Rosie replied as her face was showing some embarrassment.
“Yes, you told me that you always enjoyed it. I’d really love to hear you. I bet you’re great.”
“Okay, then. It’s a promise.” Rosie accepted Isara’s request and extended her hand in a sign of friendship. Suddenly, the sound of a single gunshot pierced the calm and Isara fell to the ground as the bullet hit straight to her chest. Meanwhile, Rosie was paralyzed and in utter shock. “Isara...?”
“Down!” Largo shouted his squadmates to take cover as a small group of Imperial soldiers started firing towards the Squad 7 members. Welkin managed to see for a split second the face of the enemy soldier who fired the first shot. However, Rosie was still in shock and oblivious to the danger around her.
“No... Isara! Don’t you die on me, Isara! I still... haven’t even had the chance to say thank you yet!”
The wounded Isara raised her hand to reach her friend who then held it. “Sure you did... Now we’re... friends.”
At the same time, the very few Imperial soldiers left ran away from the skirmish to the dismay of Largo. Once the firefight stopped, Welkin, Alicia, Largo and Zaka joined Rosie in trying to comfort Isara.
“Isara!” Alicia shouted in despair.
“Isara... no...” Welkin said. He was visibly crushed by what just happened.
“Sorry... your dream... I wanted... I so wanted... to make it real... just for you, Welks.” Isara replied as her voice was getting weaker.
“My dream? What do you mean?”
“Before... you told you wanted to... to fly... remember? You wanted... wings... so we could... see the... the sky together.”
Welkin clenched his teeth in despair as he remembered his old dream and remained speechless for a few seconds. “We will. We’ll go flying real soon, Is. I promise.”
Upon Welkin’s last words, Isara smiled one last time before she closed her eyes and died peacefully in Welkin’s arms. Alicia, Rosie, Largo and Zaka then understood that their squad’s beloved little sister was lost. “Isara?...” Rosie shook her head, still in disbelief. “ISARA!!!”
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Later in the evening, Welkin already retired himself into his tent for a few hours. He explicitly ordered to be left alone that no one would come to disturb him unless there was a matter of life and death. He was still in utter shock and massive disbelief that his sister, the only family that was left for him, was now gone. As much as he tried to keep his composure as the coolheaded and cerebral person he always was for the sake of the men and women serving under his orders, the grief and pain became overwhelming for him.
Suddenly, Welkin let his emotions get the better of him for a rare moment and started pushing and throwing his stuff on the ground in anger. “GOD, DAMN YOU! WHY DIDN’T YOU TAKE ME INSTEAD OF HER? WHY? DAMN YOU!” he shouted and the members of Squad 7 outside could hear their commander. They didn’t think less of him at all, on the contrary. The men and women of Squad 7 were first and foremost civilian volunteers; they knew the pain of losing someone or something close to each of them because of the war. They were only hoping Welkin would find a way to go through the mourning process.
As Welkin stopped, he looked at the stuff he ditched on the ground and a book suddenly caught his attention. It was a book given a few years ago by his friend, Faldio.
*Flashback scene, 2 years ago.*
“What is this book about, Faldio?”
“It’s about the way First Nations used to live in what we once called the New World in the West, across the ocean.”
“I heard they lived mostly by the laws of nature. However, they also knew how to be quite violent when they had to defend their territory from whites, especially by scalping people.” Welkin replied.
“Nothing less than sensationalism to galvanize the white invaders in wiping out the natives' way of life. The initial purpose of scalping was only to provide a portable proof of a combatant’s prowess in war and yet it wasn’t universal among natives. However, it’s the white people who changed the perception of scalping when they introduced payments for scalps during colonial wars and used scalping as a scare tactic. That’s how it became widespread in wars involving natives since the 18th Century.”
“Good thing you’re here to teach me bits of History, Faldio.”
“That’s my domain. Anyway read this book, Welkin. You’ll see how those people were living as one with nature in quite a particular way; you’ll love it.”
“Thanks, Faldio.”
*Flashback scene off*
Suddenly, Welkin had an idea growing in his mind. Although he never revealed it to anyone, Welkin felt a burning desire for revenge growing ever stronger within him since Isara was killed by Imperials who then ran away earlier in the day. Now that the thought of scalping re-surfaced in his mind, he knew exactly what he wanted to do next. ‘If I have to make them pay, I’ll do something that will scar their minds forever as the payback they deserve for what they have done.’ Welkin thought to himself.
At the time, voices were heard outside discussing about the Imperial forces that retreated away from Marberry Shore. “Do we have any news about where the cowards are hiding, Aika?”
“From what I know, they must be around 12 kilometres in the woods east from here. I also heard those guys were also part of Darcsen hunting squads, Vyse.”
“That’s really awful. I won’t show them any mercy if I face them later on.”
“Neither will I, Vyse. They will pay for Isara and the others.”
Upon those words he just heard from the conversation, Welkin got what he needed to know. He took a knife and slightly cut the palm of his left hand for blood to flow out. Then, he took the blood from his left hand and started “painting” his face red as the color of war, just like it was written in the book given by Faldio. Once ready, Welkin took a rifle, a knife and a hatchet as his weapons. But he also made sure to leave his Gallian officer’s coat behind for this personal mission.
Welkin sneaked out of his tent silently and moved to the horse stables which belonged to the Imperials earlier. Without being spotted, Welkin took a horse and rode quietly towards the woods. A very short time later, Alicia walked by the stables before she spotted the rider approaching the tree line in distance and going towards the woods. Welkin turned to have one last look backwards and saw that he wasn’t being followed at all; however, Alicia managed to recognize Welkin’s face in distance.
“Welkin?”
As the Gallian lieutenant disappeared into the woods with the horse, Alicia was still in shock at the sight of Welkin with his face painted with blood and going alone towards the East.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
At 12 kilometres to the East, 15 Imperial soldiers were taking a rest around a small campfire after retreating away from their positions in Marberry Shore. They set up a perimeter with a few soldiers guarding the perimeter for the night. On the West side of the perimeter, 2 Imperial soldiers were having a smoke when Welkin was slowly approaching them from behind. After spending a few minutes studying the area and the exact location of all Imperial soldiers, Welkin quickly dashed forward towards the 2 guards, slit the throat of the first one with the knife before stabbing the other guard straight to the heart. The action was so quick that neither of the 2 Imperial soldiers could let out a scream to warn their colleagues.
Knowing that another pair of soldiers was protecting the perimeter, Welkin moved swiftly towards them and managed to sneak in position behind them, waiting for the right moment. Less than a minute later, Welkin jumped ahead and slit both guards’ throats. At the same time, one of the sleeping Imperial soldiers just woke up, but he was unaware of the danger lurking in the area. Having spotted the awaking enemy, Welkin waited his prey to isolate himself away from the rest of the group. Slowly, the Gallian lieutenant prowled through the woods waiting for the right moment to attack the lone soldier who was moving towards the area where the 2 guards were guarding the Western part of the perimeter.
“Lukas? Sven?” the Imperial soldier asked for the 2 guards’ whereabouts.
When the soldier arrived in the area, there was nobody there. Suddenly, the soldier felt something hitting his feet after walking a few steps further. When the Imperial soldier looked to the ground with some help from the moonlight shedding some light upon the land, he saw the dead bodies of his squadmates on the ground. Terrified by the sight before him, the soldier drew his handgun out of his holster ready to shoot at anyone unknown to him. However, that was underestimating Welkin’s ability to use nature on his side and it only took a split second for Welkin to stab the enemy soldier to the heart from behind. However, the dying Imperial soldier had the time to pull the trigger and the resulting gunshot sound got all 10 remaining Imperial soldiers waking up.
“What the hell was that?” the Imperial sergeant and squad leader asked.
“Sounded like a gunshot, Sergeant. Franz’s not here. There’s nothing from Lukas, Sven, Tim or Miroslav either.”
“All right, defend the perimeter. First unknown is a dead one.”
Despite the unexpected noise resulting of his last kill, Welkin took advantage of the enemy’s confusion to identify the enemy squad’s leader. While the Imperials were taking position around the campfire, Welkin was taking advantage of the darkness of the night, the trees and bushes as cover for his next move. After waiting a couple of minutes and leaving the Imperial soldiers into a growing anxiety, Welkin aimed his rifle towards the Imperial sergeant and killed the latter with a direct headshot.
“The Sergeant’s down!” one of the soldiers said.
“Where did that come from?” another soldier asked.
Meanwhile, Welkin moved quickly to another position before taking aim again. This time, the Gallian lieutenant shot a corporal and a soldier dead in quick succession. Then, the other Imperial soldiers started firing towards the shooter’s position. However, Welkin was already moving to the next spot with a good view on the enemy’s vulnerable position.
“Did you see someone, Peter?”
“No, I can’t see a thing.”
Before anyone could react among the Imperials, Welkin kept on moving and firing one shot at the time. After killing 3 more enemies with the same hit-and-run tactic, Welkin’s rifle was out of ammo. Instead of reloading his rifle, Welkin decided to proceed with close quarters combat knowing that there were only 4 enemies left; all of them were expecting him to show up from mid-range or further.
With the speed of a demon, Welkin emerged out of the darkness, charged towards the 4-man group and knocked the first soldier down with a clothesline hit. Then, the Gallian lieutenant used his hatchet to knock another soldier’s rifle aside. In that last action, a gunshot was fired and accidentally hit a third Imperial soldier to the stomach. Quickly, Welkin unleashed a quick combo of hatchet slashes and knife cuts to the stomach and back of the enemy soldier before finishing off with a hatchet strike to the head. In a desperate move, the fourth and last soldier of the group tried to swing his rifle’s buttstock to Welkin’s head. However, Welkin was agile enough to avoid the hit, knock the rifle off the Imperial’s soldier’s hands, use the rifle to knock the soldier away and finally jump on the disarmed enemy. Immediately, Welkin finished off the soldier with a knife stab straight to the neck.
As the soldier who got stunned by the Gallian lieutenant’s clothesline hit earlier tried to get up, he was immediately spotted and then struck by another deadly hatchet hit. Welkin then looked around him for more hostiles, there was no one left standing and only one soldier desperately crawling away from the campfire after sustaining a gunshot wound to the stomach.
“Show your face, Imperial!” Welkin ordered with anger in his voice to the wounded soldier crawling a few meters away.
When the wounded crawling soldier turned to face Welkin, the latter was shocked to see that the soldier before him was the same one he spotted earlier in the day. The fallen soldier was the same one who fired the bullet that killed Isara. The soldier looked to be barely 18 years of age.
“Have mercy on me, PLEASE!” the Imperial soldier begged.
“Mercy? Why should I? You took the life of someone dear to me earlier today. You killed innocent Darcsen civilians in Fouzen; women and children. I know about your affiliated squad... Darcsen hunter.” Welkin replied.
“We had... orders to do it. And besides, everyone... hates Darcsens in Europa, even in Gallia. I was doing... a favour for everyone.”
“Really? Then, I’ll do you the favour of giving you THIS!”
Without hesitation, Welkin channelled all of his anger and thirst for vengeance by throwing the hatchet at the young Imperial soldier’s head before Welkin went on to strike the downed soldier multiple times with the hatchet. At the same time, the lieutenant let out an animalistic cry, venting his anger. Knowing that all enemies were now dead, Welkin then proceeded to push the young soldier’s helmet away and started using his knife to scalp his last prey. Later in the night, Welkin scalped all of the other 14 Imperial soldiers as First Nations and frontier warriors from the Western continent across the ocean did.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
August 24, 1935
Early in the following morning, members of Squad 7 were already awake as they usually do for every morning. Some of them were taking their breakfast; others were reading the reports written by Irene Ellet for the newspapers. At the time, none of them bar a few people were aware of Welkin’s disappearance and no one was prepared for what they were about to see.
“My God... Oscar, Jane, look behind you!” Emile Bielert said to his brother and Jane Turner.
Behind them was Welkin riding slowly on his horse out of the woods towards the camp; he was covered in dust and blood. Hanging all over his upper body were the scalps of the 15 Imperial soldiers he killed in the night. All the members of Squad 7 turned their sights in Welkin’s direction while the latter was looking at no one in particular on his way. His eyes were almost empty.
“What the...?” Oscar asked as he watched in horror the sight before him.
“I thought I saw so many horrible things already, but that...” Jane couldn’t find her words either.
“Welkin did that?” Edy asked.
“Looks like it.” Lynn replied.
As Welkin made his way through the members of his squad, many of them were in utter shock horror to see their commanding officer, normally a very cerebral and coolheaded man, exhibiting the proof of his barbaric actions. A few sensible hearts couldn’t take much of the horrible sight, especially Susie Evans who hated blood and violence more than anyone. “I think I’m gonna puke.” Susie said before running away quickly.
“Please don’t look, Aisha!” Catherine O’Hara said as she, Karl Landzaat and Lynn quickly moved in to prevent young Aisha Neumann from having a look at such a horrible sight.
Having seen the other soldiers gathering, Alicia, Largo, Rosie and Zaka ran to see the reason behind the gathering. As soon as they saw Welkin, the same reaction of horror struck the depths of their minds. “Wel... Welkin?” Alicia asked in disbelief. The lieutenant didn’t answer.
“He followed the path of vengeance. Isara’s death must have broken him more than we expected.” Zaka said.
“Poor Welkin... Isara, please watch over him. We can’t afford to lose him now.” Rosie said.
“What’s going on here? Why is there a gathering?” Captain Eleanor Varrot asked as she and Faldio pushed their way through some of the Squad 7 members.
“Elle... You won’t like it if you see what I see.” Largo replied.
Captain Varrot and Faldio then saw Welkin on his horse, with all the scalps hanging over his upper body. The 2 officers realized that Welkin already went for a bloody revenge against the remnants of the Marberry Shore troops, the ones who killed Isara. Everyone who knew enough about Isara was already shocked by her death, but the last thing anyone expected was a coolheaded man like Welkin to be such a mess showing off the scalps of 15 Imperial soldiers. Once arrived by his tent, Welkin got off his horse and carried the scalps inside before secluding himself alone inside the tent.
“What is going to happen now?” Largo asked.
“I don’t know, but I hope he’s not a lost cause already. For now, I have to make sure General Damon doesn’t know anything about this savage act.” Eleanor replied.
Some time later, Faldio decided to talk to Welkin, try understanding what happened and why. Welkin was sitting alone in his tent, fixing nothing in particular and the bloodied scalps were hanged everywhere inside the tent.
“Welkin! It’s me, Faldio! Are you OK? Talk to me, Welkin.”
However, Welkin remained silent and nothing seemed able to get through his mental shell.
To be continued
What do you think so far? Should I give this a T-rating or a R-rating considering the type of violence? This is quite different from using firearms.
Last edited by KiraYamatoFan; 2012-04-20 at 16:18.
Location: Coquitlam, BC, Canada/Quezon City, Philippines
Indeed it is. I left a review to the person who wrote the story.
Very clever.
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Even if we were at odds with each other, I still thank you for training me, Instructor Bowman - Yu Ominae, reflecting on Bowman's death after killing him in Phantom Island
Hey, all, been away for a while... a long, long while.
But just had a question; would a story for Isara having a 'Real' older brother be plausible?
Spoiler for fanfic details:
It would have to continue after my story where Isara's Mother and Father sacrificed themselves to save their Darcsen hometown.
The real brother doesn't show himself until partway through the Gallian/Imperial Empire war, or EWII. Isara's brother comes back with news, the Imperial officer who lead the attack on their hometown is still alive. He returns to Isara with a plan, a plan for revenge, but he needs her help and the Edelweiss, their fathers creation to make it work. No tank in Gallia is stronger, or more capable of handling the massive amount of Imperials and succeeding.
I have more Ideas; Isara's reaction, Welkins reaction, Isara's decision, the plan, the battle, the outcome and such. But it basically revolves around Isara's own personal conflict.
-He's asking for help, but he never helped me.
-He says he's my brother, but I've had a brother all this time.
-He claims he loved me, but he never showed it.
-He says 'we're the same, in both race and family. But does that mean I owe him more?
Sorry it’s taken a while for you to get an opinion. A bit of tweaking should help your story along.
I won’t address your rating question first though.
Spoiler for Descent:
Is it necessary to recycle the game scene? Depending on your perspective you can just do a wash over it in a couple of sentences to a couple of paragraphs. Feels easier to read that way. Whereas if your focus were on one of those individuals it would be integral, and you would want to express their feelings with more than the dialogue.
I’m not sure how much a similar North American history would apply to Gallian historical studies. Granted Faldio appears to be an anthropologist and Gallia could have been a colonial power prior to the Kingdom’s downfall at the hands of the Empire. It’s also just my opinion, but “First Nations” seems out of place from the Europan perspective as it’s a relatively modern Canadian term, and could be used to describe themselves (Gallians, Darcsen, Valkyrur).
The act of scalping wasn’t universal amongst the tribes, though it was practiced prior to contact. I haven’t read much of the subject, but I’ve heard it was practiced in earlier Eurasian history and might be relevant to Faldio’s Europan studies. But in a more original element relevant to the world setting, is that it may have been used as a method of counting Darcsen killed in hunts and battle. This latter one may really strike the Imps as truly appalling when they find their dead.
When it comes to the rating, I’d say yes and no. Yes for intent. No for difference. People generally ignore the mutilating effects when it comes to firearms. I’ve read several where so-and-so gets shot in the leg, and is 110% in a few days. Where depending on their age, therapy, and possible infection it’s more like a couple months, and they’d still bear the furrow. When it comes to the effects of firearms, shrapnel, et cetera, the most realistic in the Valkyria Chronicles section are the ones by DC20. Pretty graphic. Scalping is pretty graphic too. Generally speaking I don’t think graphic content of that sort sets a fic apart from somebody else’s where so-and-so shot the Imp machine gunner, or when the Imperial cavalry man swung his blade it took off this squad member’s head.
Flip it and if Welkin executed Imp POWs with his sidearm I’d give it a mature, whereas I’d probably initially give a teen rating to one where a 10th century man-at-arms or a 19th century Imperial soldier collected scalps from dead Darcsen after an engagement. The difference being the intent.
@Snow
Spoiler for Isara and unknown sibling:
The first step would be explaining how she had an older brother that the Gunthers knew nothing about. Maybe he was thought to be dead. Perhaps he is a fairly older half brother (maybe older than Welkin), either unknown to his father or unknown to Belgen in either case of the boy sharing the paternal or maternal parent with Isara. There should be at least a dozen scenarios that you could choose from.
If Isara is wrought by inner conflict and is both the protagonist and antagonist, perhaps grabbing a few squad members to help guide her choice would be a good way to go. Based on what we know of the character bios there are people who she would frequently have contact, people who she might seek as mentors, and there might be some very unlikely individuals who help her out.
Of minor note is Welkin’s role as a junior officer. It’s something that would play a role in what occurs. He’s responsible for many lives and could be leery of the operation for their sake if he knows things they don’t. Also, depending of the regiment’s objectives he could be denied permission. Just a little brush stoke of how he says yes or no would be nice, although it doesn’t really matter.
Well, I thought recycling the game scene was necessary in the measure that Welkin saw the shooter and then encounters him later in the midst of the vengeful rampage. It was sure painful for me to revisit that scene again, but I'd call the beginning a put-into-the-context part.
I thought about using the Eurasian part of scalping, but wasn't sure since documentation is not as extensive as it was for America. With the nature part, that's why I first thought of Faldio giving Welkin a book about how people such as the First Nations lived, especially considering the harmony with nature. But now that you bring your points, there are quite interesting. I'll have a look at it.
Hey all, I'm not dead I just got into another hobby I really enjoy. Cosplay! So all the time I used to spend writing is taken over with making costumes and props to show off at conventions. But I made a new years resolution; to get back into writing fanfiction. So, I think I'll try and continue some of my stories. I'd definately love to finish Adventures in War and Just my Luck over at fanfiction dot com.
Nice to see some activity here. Indeed, I just updated my little VC story after months of non-activity on the fanfic front; I was quite busy with some Ph.D stuff though.
I'm in the process of watching some war movies to get back into the swing of writing war stories *Adventures in War* and *Just My Luck* Hopefully I'll have another chapter out soon!
Hey all, I'm not dead:p I just got into another hobby I really enjoy...
That sounds familiar; just substitute for 'cosplay' things like 'Torchlight 2' (a Diablo-like developed by some of the old (D1/D2 team; feel free to ponder any similarities between ragnite and that universe's 'ember') and 'Path of Exile' (another Diablo-like with FF7-like active skills and a passive skill tree that's been compared to FFX). Naturally, that is not dead which can eternal lie, so here we are...
And it turns out Fantasy Flight Games has a few items in their portfolio which might be of use to this thread: Tannhauser and Dust Tactics.
And so far, it's off to a good start. It'll be interesting to see how the other players interact with their new guests, and Isara getting hyper over the whirlybirds was good for several chuckles.
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"Destroyed overnight, or the next one's free." Arc Nova