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Old 2012-05-15, 11:19   Link #36421
Lhklan
The Unpronounceable
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Clock Tower
Thank you both.

Spoiler for sneak peak 2:


Edited. Thanks Crax.

Last edited by Lhklan; 2012-05-15 at 11:44.
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Old 2012-05-15, 11:41   Link #36422
Craxuan
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Use 'belongs' instead.

The dialogues' grammar is fine, but you should make everything else not-dialogue in past tense.

EDIT: Btw the one you're asking about? We are following a tone there, "Hearts are not to be bought but stolen, they say" is the more proper one. The one I posted earlier follows more precisely to the actual wording (you would kinda pause a bit at 'bought') though it looks weird in writing. Or just two ways of speech.
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Old 2012-05-15, 11:44   Link #36423
Lhklan
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Edited. Thanks Crax.
What do you think? It is too cheesy?
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Old 2012-05-15, 11:48   Link #36424
Craxuan
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There's no such thing as too cheesy. People claim my stuff to be too dramatic, but heck, when I write I want my story to shake the world (kinda), and MLGN simply LOVES to be dramatic - the characters are very naive that they word out their feelings a lot more clearly and easily than in real life, something that I has always loved about this anime.
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Old 2012-05-15, 18:57   Link #36425
Nanya01
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StrikerS

Numbers

SSX 1-10

SSX 11

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - SSX 12:
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Old 2012-05-15, 19:38   Link #36426
mega1987
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Join Date: Jan 2011
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Age: 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
StrikerS

Numbers

SSX 1-10

SSX 11

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - SSX 12:
Me: Must be in the genes.... *points at Luna's attempt on casting Rune Flare with the sword of light.*

Odin: At least it's not 17,280 missiles converging into one area just to blow up a few targets.

Elane: What's wrong making sure those guys stay dead?

Odin: Waste of ammunition for later use.

Val: And the Numbers are in the house... Except for Due unless Lutecia decided to join the fray to help her friends...

Sarah: I say Due need some bodyguard training if that happens.

Reia: Chaotic Disintegrate... Nice AOE spell... heavy damage to an area with minimal effects to the surroundings.

Jill: Why these THINGS keep on coming!? *Shot a Mariage with her magnum.*

Leon:Watch out!! *Blasted a group of Mariages near Jill with a RPG before spraying Claire's flank with his SMG.*

Claire: We didn't have THIS problems when we go against Umbrella. *Covered Jill and Leon with her own pair of mini-SMG.*

Odin: Ignore the lost souls who end up fighting the Mariages atm...

Reia: At least those things are no Einst or they're gonna have problems with numbers AND regeneration.

*Suddenly a group of Einst Kaguya appeared and got attacked by the Mariages.*

Val: *Flat look at Reia.* You have to open your mouth, Rei....
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MGLN "Befriending" shows love thru superior firepower (Zenryokou Zenkai!)
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JAM Project pwns all!!!

And I can't still make fanfic without restarting from the start when new ideas comes in...
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Old 2012-05-17, 00:24   Link #36427
Lhklan
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Join Date: Apr 2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GaelicDragon View Post
The tangent

Spoiler for AIM Tangent:


Just a tangent created on AIM while talking with Old Iron. Something I tend to to when discussing ideas some times. Might take a few reads to figure out who is talking, just for a warning.
I blame GD for this...
Spoiler for spoiler:
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Old 2012-05-17, 01:41   Link #36428
Auxilism
For the yuri (╹◡╹)
 
 
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Location: I do not remember
Are the characters involved meant not to be known?
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オークシリスム
3rd Yuri Division
Characters are from Madoka Magica, Symphogear and Sakura Trick.
Please see the uncompressed version on the right.
Click this for my gif request thread.Max quality version
I take gif requests here.
Please read the opening post (revised as of 22/8/2014).
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Old 2012-05-17, 01:52   Link #36429
Lhklan
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Join Date: Apr 2012
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NOt really. I just followed GD's example.
THe 1st conversation is between Leti and Lindy.
Next is 1 of the NumberS (Either Wendi or Nove) with Leti
The last one is at Ginga's 20 birthday.
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Old 2012-05-17, 03:20   Link #36430
Auxilism
For the yuri (╹◡╹)
 
 
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Location: I do not remember
Ah, I see...

Maybe I should stop reading those if I want my mind to be clear when editing/doing my fanfics
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オークシリスム
3rd Yuri Division
Characters are from Madoka Magica, Symphogear and Sakura Trick.
Please see the uncompressed version on the right.
Click this for my gif request thread.Max quality version
I take gif requests here.
Please read the opening post (revised as of 22/8/2014).
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Old 2012-05-17, 13:45   Link #36431
Lycodrake
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I deleted "One Half and Eleven" from my FF.net account for revision and expansion.
(Posting this mainly to give Nanya a heads-up, but also inform those that care...if anyone.)
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Old 2012-05-17, 19:41   Link #36432
Lhklan
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@Lyco
Well, damn. Was thiking of checking it out.
Lyco, what do you think of my recent posts.
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Old 2012-05-17, 20:19   Link #36433
Auxilism
For the yuri (╹◡╹)
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: I do not remember
Here's the weekly update
Spoiler for Author's notes:

Notes for those who are reading the version here: Some words have been changed but they did not affect the story so I won't post the changes here.

Direct link to fanfiction.net's
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Auxilism
オークシリスム
3rd Yuri Division
Characters are from Madoka Magica, Symphogear and Sakura Trick.
Please see the uncompressed version on the right.
Click this for my gif request thread.Max quality version
I take gif requests here.
Please read the opening post (revised as of 22/8/2014).
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Old 2012-05-17, 20:32   Link #36434
Kitsu Breaker
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Well, I just want to say, All straight pair suck.
Because the pretty woman of Nanoha should stay with other pretty woman to have a more
pretty combination.
Also, straight doujin suck, I hope destroy them in one moment
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Old 2012-05-17, 20:35   Link #36435
biodude711
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Please don't start another pairing flame war.
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Old 2012-05-17, 20:38   Link #36436
Lhklan
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... To each their own, Kitsu. Also, why are you posting it here?
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Old 2012-05-17, 20:39   Link #36437
Nanya01
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lhklan View Post
... To each their own, Kitsu. Also, why are you posting it here?
Better here than in that ONE thread that no one wants opened up again.
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Old 2012-05-17, 21:06   Link #36438
Lhklan
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*blink* Which one?
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Old 2012-05-17, 22:43   Link #36439
Nanya01
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lhklan View Post
*blink* Which one?
I'd rather not say, people will go looking for it then.

StrikerS

Numbers

SSX 1-10

SSX 11

SSX 12

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - SSX 13:
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Last edited by Nanya01; 2012-05-17 at 22:57. Reason: The ending got cut off somehow.
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Old 2012-05-17, 23:08   Link #36440
mega1987
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Philippines
Age: 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
I'd rather not say, people will go looking for it then.

StrikerS

Numbers

SSX 1-10

SSX 11

SSX 12

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - SSX 13:
Me: Is it me or those Mariages' logic reminds me of those extremist...

Odin: Like Muruta Azrael And Patrick Zala?

Reia: Vindel Mauser?

Val: Juno, Sera, before she realize her course of action is a mistake, and Sigma?

Iris: Gilbert Durandal and Djibril?

Mariemeia: Those dummies who think IP/CR can innovate the world?

Me: *sweatdrops* Nevermind...

Odin: Anyways... *pulls out the Mariage's head that got punt by Subaru's punch.* How it feels to get you noggin shaken beyond it's normal limit and don't bother self-destructing. Your pretty little head got treated with some nanites that will cancel that special protocol of yours.

Mariage's head: You shall fall before our might, Human.

Odin: *Raised Eyebrow.* To play soccer, *Drops the Mariage's head before kicking it with a Beowulf empowered kick away.* or not to play. That is the question for today. And who said that I'm completely human in the first place?

Mariemeia: Lame joke, Odin.

Reia: I really hope Ixy will have some control over those mariages at the end, together that she will not sleep for another set of eons...

Char: No one mention my actions During the 2nd Neo-Zeon revolt?

Ribbon: Nor mine?

Odin: We kinda forgot back there....*sarcasm mode.*

Char and Ribbon:
__________________
Darwin's nominee are best for laughs.
MGLN "Befriending" shows love thru superior firepower (Zenryokou Zenkai!)
Gundams are your worst nightmare in the battlefield.
SRW beats all foes.
JAM Project pwns all!!!

And I can't still make fanfic without restarting from the start when new ideas comes in...

Last edited by mega1987; 2012-05-17 at 23:25. Reason: just to get it updated to the changes... :P
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