Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha Character Creation and Discussion (second reincarnation)

[Comartemis]

Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare

Thank the gods. You don't know the dread when I read what you wrote.

In my defense, it seemed like a good idea at the time....

Crudely speaking, this is a bit paradoxical. If it can affect spells outside of the contact area, what is there to prevent the effect from canceling her own spells in the first place? Plot armor will protect that very well, but I always think that a background justification would be more appropriate. Other than that, I see it as all right, but preferably not used. The choice is yours.

Alright, you know how a mage's linker core is as unique to them as their genetic makeup? We see something like this with all the different magic sigils; I chalk up the different colors to differences in how the linker cores process mana, thus each spell is unique for each mage, even if the spell templates are exactly the same.

Asuna's linker core has a property to it that causes linked mana processed by her core to reject other forms of mana, somewhat like a person's immune system, but applied both internally and externally whenever she uses magic. One of more interesting side effects of this is that Asuna can't benefit from her own enhancement magic and Boost Up enhancement spells from other mages at the same time, because her Void magic will automatically reject the foreign enhancement as soon as it's applied to her body.

In regards to the request for help: I haven't been keeping up with GuardianS, unfortunately, so I probably won't be too much help with this. If I can find time, I'll go back and read over what I've been missing, but I'm about to go on a weekend-long vacation to the middle of nowhere, so I won't be around this weekend and there's the possibility I'll just forget...

Originally Posted by Evangelion Xgouki

And on a little sidenote, looks like FUNimation is going to be releasing Nanoha

About goddamn time, I say. I was starting to worry that Geneon would take all their licenses down with the ship.

[Tormenk]

Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare

I establish only relationships that seem puritanically appropriate (entirely straight, heterosexual kinds), though there isn't anything preventing them from breaking or changed in other stories. On the whole, however, my views are not as narrow, and I don't mind the other kinds available. Just make them ... stomach-able.

Likewise. I don't intend to explore the less-desirable side of such relationships yet anyway; cursed might have been too much though said Meister-Device do have a complicated history built up.

If it's not too much trouble, I'd like to request a little help from fellow authors/readers here. As it is, I'm still continuing with GuardianS (albeit woefully slow, no thanks to the distraction I have in the form of Playstation 2), and the next chapter is building up nicely, currently pegged at ~8k words.

The entire plot is almost reaching its first climax already (if we follow Freytag's analysis), so what I wanted to ask from all of you is whether the story is missing anything that has been nagging in your mind, however big or small. It can be characterization, plot holes, structure, cohesion, anything you find particularly odd or confusing that hasn't been resolved in the story.

While I do keep myself to the plot that I've planned out so far, there are times when things just didn't come to mind at the time of writing, and these would most probably result in a holes that are most difficult to retrace. Given the pace and length, it wouldn't be surprising that these would be overlooked on my part, so I'd like them to be resolved, either as a side-note or implemented entirely in the plot later (if applicable). If those questions would later be answered in the planned plot, I'd say it as such, so there's no worry of spoiling the entire story.

This would serve as a great idea proposition as well as reminder for myself. You can ask anything, don't worry about it. I appreciate the help very much.

Thanks a lot.

I'll sift through during the weekend though never-ending work and the sheer length of all the chapters so far won't make it easy.

[Kha]

Kha has booked Scagletti on 4 servers.

But Khalthuzad shall always be the real deal.

[PhoenixFlare]

Originally Posted by Keroko

I'm not that bad, actually. You should see my sister. Most girls find ponies and kitties cute, she thinks humongous scaly fire breathing creatures are cute.

You know, you sister and I would get a long well. Very well.

Originally Posted by Comartemis

In my defense, it seemed like a good idea at the time....

Seems like one doesn't mean it is one. But thankfully, you accepted the other point of view. Bless you.

*pats Comartemis on the head*

Originally Posted by Comartemis

Alright, you know how a mage's linker core is as unique to them as their genetic makeup? We see something like this with all the different magic sigils; I chalk up the different colors to differences in how the linker cores process mana, thus each spell is unique for each mage, even if the spell templates are exactly the same.

I worked with similar theories before, but to say that each spell is unique would be an overstatement. See, Subaru and Nanoha use Divine Buster, the only difference is the output they give. Similarly, for Crossfire Shoot between Nanoha and Teana. And Nanoha and Fate's copied spells stored in the Tome of the Night Sky. Since spells can be inherited (a plus point for the recent translation regarding Reinforce and Hayate), it would mean that those spells are essentially the same even though the user is different.

Originally Posted by Comartemis

Asuna's linker core has a property to it that causes linked mana processed by her core to reject other forms of mana, somewhat like a person's immune system, but applied both internally and externally whenever she uses magic. One of more interesting side effects of this is that Asuna can't benefit from her own enhancement magic and Boost Up enhancement spells from other mages at the same time, because her Void magic will automatically reject the foreign enhancement as soon as it's applied to her body.

So, it's more an attribute or rare skill than a property of her spells? For one moment there, you almost made me think that all her spells are Void element. But if it's applicable to her spells, then ...

The idea is sound as a defensive measure, but I don't think it goes well with offensive spells. Technically speaking, when her Linker Core processes the mana, it would no doubt have created the linked mana said to be capable of rejecting other forms of mana. It'd have also rejected the raw mana that she draws to form her magic. As a defensive measure, this can be part of her rare ability instead of a Linker Core attribute, therefore it doesn't interfere with her natural mana manipulation.

If you really want to make it part of her offensive ability, I'd suggest that you omit any form of collection-type spell from her repertoire. We can go along the line of contamination effect (a similar concept from Keroko's Aspect magic) where the mana she uses are purely from her own body and it has inherent Void element, so they don't reject each other. She cannot use any type mana except her own, which would give her both advantages and disadvantages.

Originally Posted by Comartemis

In regards to the request for help: I haven't been keeping up with GuardianS, unfortunately, so I probably won't be too much help with this. If I can find time, I'll go back and read over what I've been missing, but I'm about to go on a weekend-long vacation to the middle of nowhere, so I won't be around this weekend and there's the possibility I'll just forget...

Thanks for the offer, do it when you're free and feel like it. I won't force anyone to do it except if you're willing to. I'm surprised you read it, though, since it has the elements of angst that you're so aversive of.

Anyway, happy holidays!

Originally Posted by Tormenk

Likewise. I don't intend to explore the less-desirable side of such relationships yet anyway; cursed might have been too much though said Meister-Device do have a complicated history built up.

Meister-Device wouldn't be too bad. At least one is androgynous, regardless of what the programming is made to show.

*flees*

Originally Posted by Tormenk

I'll sift through during the weekend though never-ending work and the sheer length of all the chapters so far won't make it easy.

Please do it when you're free and feeling up to it. I'll feel kind of bad if this takes up your time when you can better spend it.

[Evangelion Xgouki]

Originally Posted by Kha

Kha has booked Scagletti on 4 servers.

But Khalthuzad shall always be the real deal.

*facepalms*

KHAAA!!!

[Comartemis]

Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare

I worked with similar theories before, but to say that each spell is unique would be an overstatement. See, Subaru and Nanoha use Divine Buster, the only difference is the output they give.

Not really. Subaru's Divine Buster is a completely different form of magic from Nanoha's. For one thing, it's a burst of energy akin to a short-range bombardment spell more than Nanoha's beam of energy. Subaru also makes use of it with the Neo-Belka system, not the Mid system, so there are most likely all kinds of processing differences between the two.

Similarly, for Crossfire Shoot between Nanoha and Teana. And Nanoha and Fate's copied spells stored in the Tome of the Night Sky. Since spells can be inherited (a plus point for the recent translation regarding Reinforce and Hayate), it would mean that those spells are essentially the same even though the user is different.

Alright, not unique but not exactly the same either; there are slight variations to each spell acquired from the ways the linker cores process mana, which leads to infinitesimally small differences in the attributes of each spell. For instance the same spell cast by two mages with identical skill sets and abilities may still have a natural 1% power difference in one of the mages just because of the differences between their linker cores.

The idea is sound as a defensive measure, but I don't think it goes well with offensive spells. Technically speaking, when her Linker Core processes the mana, it would no doubt have created the linked mana said to be capable of rejecting other forms of mana. It'd have also rejected the raw mana that she draws to form her magic. As a defensive measure, this can be part of her rare ability instead of a Linker Core attribute, therefore it doesn't interfere with her natural mana manipulation.

Good point about rejecting raw mana; I hadn't considered that.

If you really want to make it part of her offensive ability, I'd suggest that you omit any form of collection-type spell from her repertoire. We can go along the line of contamination effect (a similar concept from Keroko's Aspect magic) where the mana she uses are purely from her own body and it has inherent Void element, so they don't reject each other. She cannot use any type mana except her own, which would give her both advantages and disadvantages.

I'm working with the linker core interpretation I suggested to TK and Keroko earlier, that the LC takes unlinked mana from the air, links it together and creates (generates, to use the wording in the DVD booklet) a pool of usable mana in the mage's body. So if the void element is applied to the unlinked mana by the LC during the linking process, it becomes easily usable for both offense and defense while still limiting Asuna's mana usage to linked mana that's been filtered through her LC.

Thanks for the offer, do it when you're free and feel like it. I won't force anyone to do it except if you're willing to. I'm surprised you read it, though, since it has the elements of angst that you're so aversive of.

I haven't, actually; by keeping up I mean actually reading the story's updates. There was so much here when I first showed up that I didn't know where to start. The only fic from the OC threads that I've read is.... shoot, what's the name.... the one with the sentient tower and the lich and the not-quite-dead Alicia Testarossa?

But thanks for the warning about the angst! I'll make sure I don't touch GuardianS with a ten-foot pole!

Anyway, happy holidays!

Likewise, Phoenix!

[Wild Goose]

Some slight crack in progress.

Spoiler for Soldiers of the Wasteland trailer:

Two men stood on an outcropping, gazing across the barren wastes. They could not be more different. One was a giant of a man, carrying himself with a knightly demeanour. The other man had a rougher, less refined feel to him. If the giant was gold with inlaid jewels and precious metals. the shorter man was an uncut diamond streaked with coal. Yet in their purpose they were united.

"So there it is," murmured Franz Jaeger, scanning the horizon with his binoculars. "The target."

"I will rescue her," vovwed Noland Reineiger. "I will enter that place of vile desecration, and with these hands I will rescue the Sankt Kaiser."

"Takamachi Vivio is not the Sankt Kaiser reborn," replied Franz quietly, his eyes scanning the distance. "Seeking atonement is all fine and well, but the Sankt Kaiser is dead. Vivio is Vivio. No more, no less."

"All that matters," said Erick, walking up, "is tha' we git in there an' save that poor girl. It's time ta git goin'. We'll move out under the cover of darkness." He turned to look at the rest of the 7-man team and nodded. "Alright, men. Vivio's in hell. We're going to walk her out. Last chance to back out now."

"I speak for all of us, sir," said Glen seriously, "When I say, 'Who the hell do you think we are'."

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Franz couldn't supress a snicker, Ivanovich snorted, and Chief actually smiled behind his visor.

"Alrigh', men, let's git there an' kick ass," ordered Erick, and the 7 men descended, making their way to the castle, Soldiers of the Wasteland.

As for Meister-Device relationships, I had Hayareinrion crack written. Because Rein zwei is cute and Healthy Full Size All Woman Rein is HAWT.

[Comartemis]

Needs background music.

Spoiler for Background Music:

*EDIT*
Oh sure, now you add it in.

[Liingo]

@PF: Thoughts on my re-read of all of it below, separted into chapters and scenes for easy reference. Also random spelling points

C-> Chapter S-> Scene

Prologue S2
Reason for the scene being 5 years earlier?
Info in C3 S3 would suggest that the scene is in the present since they’ve gone and stolen a star before we know about the prophecy.
C1 S2
How are you Mmilady (Milady)
C1 S5
I advice (advise) you not to underestimate the GF <- Subaru
C2 S5
I take it that you’re not altering the story to accommodate the new info about enforcers. Although it's easily solved since you don't have a slew of them in your story.
54 min pass between end of this scene and C3 S3? Seems a bit long...
C3 S3
I find the shift from angst/despair etc to happy happy joy joy a little weird once they know Nanoha is at the door… but not really a major issue.
C4 S3 Cont
You know my father (knew) <- Chrono
C4 S5
I’m amazed at the speed of bureaucracy shown in getting the unit together… 1000 members in less than 3-4 days. Where did they all come from? Or more importantly, do these 1000 members get used other than a 10th of them.

- Couldn't see any major pitfalls while I was re-reading it all, but it'll be best to see what the others say first.
- I do have questions on the plot... although i'm certain that those will be answered eventually in the next couple of chapters

Liingo.

[FlameSparkZ]

Originally Posted by JINNSK

I have finished my homework...Excuse my lazy translation.
Basically remaining part mentions Hayate's character.So,I'm not sure whether there is new information for you...

Spoiler for Original:

-13話のラスト、6年後のはやてが変身しようとしていましたが、あれは彼女自身が持っている能力なのでしょ うか?
都築 はやても健康で普通に育っていたらなのはたちと同じかちょっと上回るくらいの魔力があったんじ ゃないかと。
それが全部「闇の書」に強制貯蓄させられていたような状態で、真の覚醒をしてからその魔力が全部戻ってきた というかんじじゃないんでしょうか。
12話で戦った時は、貯蓄の分とリインフォース本体の力が融合している状態なんだと思います。
リインフォース消滅後ははやて個人の魔力のみですが、魔法の運用が滞りなくできてるのはリインフォースの残 した遺産のおかげということで。

-リインフォースの遺産とは?
都築 「魔力運用と、現在保有している魔法の使い方」についての知識とか...。
たとえば普通の人が、ものすごく高性能のコンピュータをぽんと渡されたとして、やりたいことがあっても知識 や経験が無い状態だとなにもできないじゃないですか。
ソフトが入っていても、何を立ち上げてどんな項目を選択すればいいのかもわからない。
リインフォースが残したものは、はやてが自分のパソコンを操作するための情報を懇切丁寧に書き込んだ、分厚 いマニュアルみたいなものなんだと思います。
「××をしたい時は、○○を立ち上げて△△を選択して」みたいな。
リインフォースが使えたり、魔導書に蒐集された魔法に関する情報や使い方をマニュアル化したものがはやての 記憶に記録されていて、はやてはそれを参照することで魔法を使える...という感じじゃないん でしょうか。
だから、リインフォースができたことは大抵はやてもできるし、当面は困らない。
ただ、これから新しいことをやっていこうと思ったら、多少の応用はきいてもやっぱり最初から覚えなきゃいけ ないと思いますけど。

-はやても修行するタイプですか?
都築 必要に応じて勉強や習得はもちろんしていくとは思いますが、なのはやフェイトとは若干方向性が違うかもしれ ません。
なのはやフェイトは、どこか「競技者」な面がありますから、習得や鍛錬の方向性が最終的に「自分個人がより 強く、上手く」ということ帰結する。
単一戦力として強くなることに価値を見いだす....強い自分を武器に仲間の役に立つというか 。
エース体質なんだと思います。
でもはやては、自分個人が万能・無敵になる必要は必ずしも無いと思っている部分あるんじゃない かと。
自分の守護騎士たちをより動きやすい形で動かしてあげられるようにするとか、一緒に事態に当たる仲間たちの 能力を認識した上で、最適で最上の支援法を選択するとか...。
はやての思考はそういう方面にむいているかと思います。育ってきた環境も、なのはやフェイトは常に「自分が 」何かをしなくてはならない状況だったのに対して、はやてはいつも誰かに何かをしてもらっていて、それに対 して自分が何をしてあげられるか、ということを考えてきた面があると思うので...。

-むしろクロノに似ていますか?
都築 はい。クロノとはやては気が合いそうです(笑)。
能力を競う「競技者」ななのはやフェイトに対して、クロノやはやては、球技のキャプテンや監督のような感じ で...。
陸上や水泳のような競技は、能力で明らかに劣っているものが上の立場の敵に勝つことはほぼ不可能ですが、実 際の戦闘や球技のようなゲームであれば、そうでもない。
はやてやクロノは、そういう状況で戦略とかゲームメイキングに気が回るタイプなんじゃないかと 。
ちなみに、なのはとフェイトは自分の速球がうたれたら「もっと速い球を投げられるようになろう」と思う人た ちだと思います(笑)。

-はやてと融合型デバイスの設定は、どちらが先につくられたのですか?
都築 はやてのほうが先です。
初期では闇の書は「望まずして突然持たされてしまった大きすぎる力」というだけで、そのほかの設定はそれほ ど細かく決まっていませんでしたが...。

-ところで、はやての料理は誰かに教わったのでしょうか?
都築 基本的には、図書館で独学とか何じゃないでしょうか。
多分ヴォルケンズ(ヴォルケンリッターたち)がくるまでは、ひとりで趣味としていろんなものを作っては「ひ とりやと食べきれへんなー」とかしょんぼりして冷凍保存したり、大人数向けの料理を「作ってみたいなー」と 思いつつあきらめていたのが、急に家族が4人も増えて一気に情熱に火がついたんじゃないかと。
自分が庇護したい相手がいて、その人たちが自分を頼りにしてくれるというのは、はやてにとってはとてつもな くうれしいことですし、そういう場はどこまでもがんばれる子だと思うので...。
逆に言うと自分個人のためにはあんまりがんばる気がないってことだったりもするんですが...
そういう意味では、はやてはエースよりも指揮官向きで、同時に騎士たちや、自分が生み出したリインフォース Ⅱの母親でいるのが一番居心地のいい場所なんじゃないでしょうか。

Spoiler for translation:

-In the last scene of A's ep13,Hayate was going to transform.Does she have transform skill?
Tsuzuki I think Hayate had mana of quantity same as Nanoha and Fate or slightly more than them if she healthy grew up.
All of her mana was forcibly made to save into "The book of the darkness" and she regained it entirely after awakening.
When she was fighting in ep12,it was the state that savings and mana of Reinforce were united.
After Reinforce disappeared,she has only mana of own.But she can use magic without stress,because there is the inheritance which Reinforce left.

-What's Reinforce's inheritance?
Tsuzuki It's a thing such as the knowledge about "the management of mana and the usage of magic".
For example,If a common person suddenly got a very high-performance PC,he cannot do what he want to do because there are not knowledge and experience.
Even if software was installed,he does not know what application he should start and which menu he should select.
I think Reinforce gave Hayate a thing like the very thick manual which Reinforce exhaustively and painstakingly wrote in information for Hayate to operate her PC.
Like "When you want to do ××,start ○○ and select △△".
Information about magic Reinforce used and collected by Knights recorded in memory of Hayate,and she can use magic by referring to it.
So,Hayate can do most thing Reinforce can do and she is not troubled with using magic for the time being.
But,When she is going to do that is totally new, she must practice and train it from a beginning.

-Is Hayate a type to train herself,too?
Tsuzuki If it is necessary,she will study and learn.But the direction may be slightly different from Nanoha and Fate.
Nanoha and Fate have character like "an athlete",so their last purpose is "I become stronger and better".
They regard it is important that becoming strong individually.
I think they are naturally ace.
But it seems that Hayate thinks herself doesn't need to be versatile and unrivaled.
To let knights can perform freely,or to support it so that her partners can demonstrate their ability.
I think the thought of Hayate is such a thing.
In the process when they grew up,Nanoha and Fate always experienced the situation that must be solved with "oneself alone",while Hayate have been helped by someone else all the time.So she always thought what she can do for other people...

-If anything, is she the type that resemble Chrono?
Tsuzuki Yes.Chrono and Hayate will get along well.LOL
Nanoha and Fate are "an athlete",while Chrono and Hayate are like a captain or a manager of the ball game.
In the individual competitions such as field-and-track events or the swimming,it is approximately impossible that a lower person beats a higher enemy.But it is not impossible in a real battle and some ball game.
Hayate and Chrono are the types that mind a strategy in such situation.
By the way,I think Nanoha and Fate are the type to think "i want to be able to throw a faster ball" if their fast ball is hit.LOL

-Which did you plot earlier,Hayate or the Unison device?
Tsuzuki It's Hayate.
In the first,I thought the book of the darkness was just as "The too big power that was given suddenly without expecting" and other stuff was not decided in detail.

-By the way,did Hayate learn cooking by somebody else?
Tsuzuki Basically,she probably studied it by herself in a library.
Probably,before Wolkens came,she made various cooking as a hobby,and she felt lonely "I cannot finish eating alone".And she dreamed to cook grand dishes for a family.
However, she got four families suddenly and her passion seemed to ignite at a stretch.
There are partners who she want to protect and they rely on her.I think she feel happy having such a place and she can do anything as far as she is there.
On the other hand,she is hardly interested about herself...
So,I think Hayate is suitable for a commander rather than an ace and she prefer to be in the most comfortable place where she can be mother of Knights and Reinforce2.

Hmm, I see...so that's the creator's point of view

Originally Posted by Keroko

*clucks tongue* My throat feels dry after reading this. It seems that even the creator himself feels like shafting Hayate.

Well...that's the role it was given to her in the story, all we can do is change it in fanfics

Originally Posted by Keroko

Forgotten so soon?

Spoiler for DVD booklet:

Subaru's bikini and Teana's top are designed for high output and heavy armor. That screams proof that small jackets offer high-grade protection.

Bikini

Originally Posted by Kha

DECULTURE!!!

Yes I'd appreciated it. Singing Fate always computes.

In fact...

Spoiler for Commencing Continuation!:

"Mada mada!" Shari cried and loaded up another video.

"If you think that was Deculture, wait till you see this!"

"Eh... Wait no not that vi--" Tomato-faced Fate began shifting forward, but got no further as Keroko and Hayate pounced on her from behind. "We've have enough videoes for the night already... Please..."

However, the other shadow-faced Aces (and technician) had other plans in mind. Another raggle of personel from the kitchen and the ground crews arrived in the lobby in time for the video to start, and silence fell upon the cheering members of Riot 6.

A dark screen with little swirls of light greeted them, then in danced letters that spelt, "For our beloved friends and teachers."

Nanoha ran her hand down the back of her hyperventilating friend.

"With love, graduating class of 3B."

"Fate T. Hallaoun."

"アオイイロ"

Teana watched young Fate prance across the screen, jaws to the floor in awe.

"Kawaii~~" Subaru couldn't help but squeal a little.

"I feel so happy, so it's okay!" Caro hummed as Erio absentmindedly strummed along with an air guitar. And as the video ended, the entire lobby burst into a standing ovation.

"Encore!" Vice laughed, his cheers echoed amongst the other men.

And by now, Fate was blowing steam from her ears. "Nanoha..."

"See they love you!" Her friend beamed back. "They're even asking for more!"

"1 more song, Feito-taichou!" Alto screamed.

Fate was so hot and bothered, that she was starting to feel a little light from all the attention. Hayate and Keroko continued to hold onto her lest she sudden'y bolted, but the young Hallaoun's legs had turned to jelly.

"Just one more, Fate-chan?" Hayate nudge.

"Ne, ne, please?" Keroko pressed it in further.

Fate fell silent, her mind swimming in the loud, unending shrill cries of encore...

...then gave in.

"Mou, okay!" She let out suddenly, prompting her kidnappers to let go. "Just one more..."

As Fate gingerly stepped up to the holo-screen, the other Aces grinned. Just as planned...

But now it was all lost on Fate. She took a deep breath, reach inside, and...

Baby doushitai? soujuu
Baby, what do you want to do? I'm driving.

handoru gyutto nigitte mou STANDBY
My hands are on the handle bars and I'm standing by.

(Do you) want my heart & want my love?

NO!? Mou! SWING shite KISS!
NO!? Forget that, let's swing and KISS!


There was a patter of shoes and boots as even more spectators scrammed into the charged lobby. A couple of the men from Ground crew had their eyes go wide as they recognized the song and quickly disappeared, returning with guitars, amps and Firebomber outfits.

"Deculture..." Zafira grinned.

*RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNZ at epic flying speed*

Originally Posted by Comartemis

Hmm... how about....

Void Magic
A rare form of elemental affinity which converts the user's mana into a form which easily resists and breaks apart linked mana and spell constructs that are matched against it. Void Magic is ideal for usage in shields and defensive spells and extremely useful in offensive spells as well, as it can be used to penetrate magical shielding and crack open force fields. The strength of the effect depends entirely on the strength of the void mage's linker core, so stronger spells can only be countered by stronger void mages. Further, shaping and controlling void magic at a distance is much more difficult than normal magic is, even with the aid of a high-end Intelligent device, which necessitates that most void mages keep their spells close to the body, leading most to adopt the Neo or Ancient Belka systems or similar close-combat-oriented magic systems.

If I go with this model, Asuna will probably start out as a B-rank like the rest of the Forwards, and her Void magic will only afford her increased resistance to spells above her level, not outright cancellation. Anything at her level, though...

Oh~ Nice affinity there

~~~~

So...hmm...yeah, still working on several things at the same time
But progressing, though...Maybe I'll be able to post something in the near future :3

dewa...

*warps away*

[Keroko]

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

Hmm... Now that I think about it, both Kha and Keroko made their own Aces to go with the young Ace Trio of Canon...

Now why didn't I make a similar Ace as well...?

Looks like I shafted myself there as well...<.<

Keep working on Grandis then.

[QUOTE=Kha;1698105But don't look at it that way. Somehow Grandis just doesn't fit into things as much as Aurion did; Keroko was the Ace who wasn't not a Sue; Kha was the Ace who wasn't a girl; Aurion was the Ace who isn't a frontliner. [/QUOTE]

'wasn't not a Sue?' Which is it?

Originally Posted by stormturmoil

Just to bring up a somewhat insignificant seeming but nevertheless important point...

But while we've been flinging relationship accusations here there and everywhere over which pairings are established, there is no reason they couldn't all be....

<_<

>_>

and no, I'm not talking about polygamy, either, (except possibly in the case of Caro X Erio X Lutecia)

Rather, there's been this unwarranted assumption that all relationships that we establish must succeed...which, as we all know, is not necessarily the case...

That is to say, while it'a all well and good trying to establish the pairings of characters now, there's been a marked tendency to ignore the possibility of any other relationships that may have existed in the past, and/or, that may yet exist in the future if the current ones don't work out.

Even if Hayate Is paired with Grandis Now, that does nothing to prove that she wasn't previously involved with Aurion in the past (fell apart because of the age gap?)

Similarly, Nanoha x Fate and Nanoha X Yuuno may both actually have happened/be happening, and the only pertinent detail may be the order in which they happened/happen!

In other words, there is nothing saying these characters have not had other relationships in the past, nor that they won't have others in the future...

we don't have to be limited by just one pairing per character! damn, surely the Aces are going to have had some other prospective suitors...after all, they've probably got half the Bureau lusting after them secretly (or not so secretly, in the case of Subaru...)

It is a little known fact that Keroko and Chrono were dating at one point in time.

*Runs like crazy while dodging red blasts of magic*

Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare

If it's not too much trouble, I'd like to request a little help from fellow authors/readers here. As it is, I'm still continuing with GuardianS (albeit woefully slow, no thanks to the distraction I have in the form of Playstation 2), and the next chapter is building up nicely, currently pegged at ~8k words.

The entire plot is almost reaching its first climax already (if we follow Freytag's analysis), so what I wanted to ask from all of you is whether the story is missing anything that has been nagging in your mind, however big or small. It can be characterization, plot holes, structure, cohesion, anything you find particularly odd or confusing that hasn't been resolved in the story.

While I do keep myself to the plot that I've planned out so far, there are times when things just didn't come to mind at the time of writing, and these would most probably result in a holes that are most difficult to retrace. Given the pace and length, it wouldn't be surprising that these would be overlooked on my part, so I'd like them to be resolved, either as a side-note or implemented entirely in the plot later (if applicable). If those questions would later be answered in the planned plot, I'd say it as such, so there's no worry of spoiling the entire story.

This would serve as a great idea proposition as well as reminder for myself. You can ask anything, don't worry about it. I appreciate the help very much.

Thanks a lot.

Hmm, not that I can think of so quickly, no.

Though I'd love to see more Tesla. :3

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

Some slight crack in progress.

Spoiler for Soldiers of the Wasteland trailer:

Two men stood on an outcropping, gazing across the barren wastes. They could not be more different. One was a giant of a man, carrying himself with a knightly demeanour. The other man had a rougher, less refined feel to him. If the giant was gold with inlaid jewels and precious metals. the shorter man was an uncut diamond streaked with coal. Yet in their purpose they were united.

"So there it is," murmured Franz Jaeger, scanning the horizon with his binoculars. "The target."

"I will rescue her," vovwed Noland Reineiger. "I will enter that place of vile desecration, and with these hands I will rescue the Sankt Kaiser."

"Takamachi Vivio is not the Sankt Kaiser reborn," replied Franz quietly, his eyes scanning the distance. "Seeking atonement is all fine and well, but the Sankt Kaiser is dead. Vivio is Vivio. No more, no less."

"All that matters," said Erick, walking up, "is tha' we git in there an' save that poor girl. It's time ta git goin'. We'll move out under the cover of darkness." He turned to look at the rest of the 7-man team and nodded. "Alright, men. Vivio's in hell. We're going to walk her out. Last chance to back out now."

"I speak for all of us, sir," said Glen seriously, "When I say, 'Who the hell do you think we are'."

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Franz couldn't supress a snicker, Ivanovich snorted, and Chief actually smiled behind his visor.

"Alrigh', men, let's git there an' kick ass," ordered Erick, and the 7 men descended, making their way to the castle, Soldiers of the Wasteland.

As for Meister-Device relationships, I had Hayareinrion crack written. Because Rein zwei is cute and Healthy Full Size All Woman Rein is HAWT.

Vivio got kidnapped again? Curiosity burning.

[stormturmoil]

Vivio got kidnapped again? Curiosity burning

Nah, they probably got called in to try and break up another one of Hayate's secret Cosplay parties...

<_<
>_>

What, you KNOW Nanoha would do that, especially over Vivio (So would Fate, though in her case it'd probably be more along the lines of " If anyone's going to put Vivio in Adorable Cosplay outfits it's going to be ME!)

[Sheba]

Originally Posted by Keroko

Vivio got kidnapped again? Curiosity burning.

Don't worry, Nanoha and Fate will don their barrier jackets and run across pipes and landscapes while beaming stupid turtles. And eat mushrooms to grow bigger.

"Sorry White Devil. The Kaiserin is in another castle!"

[Tormenk]

Originally Posted by Keroko

It is a little known fact that Keroko and Chrono were dating at one point in time.

*Runs like crazy while dodging red blasts of magic*

Keroko: "Yuuno-kun's late.. "

Chrono: "Ah Keroko there you are. Yuuno said he couldn't make it at the last second so he asked me to replace him."

Keroko:"Oh..I suppose it can't be helped then. Work takes precedence after all."

Chrono: "Shall we ?"

*around the corner Yuuno lies gagged and Struggle Bound*

Yuuno: "Chrughh urgh urghtrd !"

[Keroko]

Originally Posted by stormturmoil

Nah, they probably got called in to try and break up another one of Hayate's secret Cosplay parties...

<_<
>_>

What, you KNOW Nanoha would do that, especially over Vivio (So would Fate, though in her case it'd probably be more along the lines of " If anyone's going to put Vivio in Adorable Cosplay outfits it's going to be ME!)

The mental image of a squad like that breaking up a cosplay party is to great not to be writen down.

Originally Posted by Sheba

Don't worry, Nanoha and Fate will don their barrier jackets and run across pipes and landscapes while beaming stupid turtles. And eat mushrooms to grow bigger.

"Sorry White Devil. The Kaiserin is in another castle!"

I see I'm not the only one thinking of that.

Originally Posted by Tormenk

Keroko: "Yuuno-kun's late.. "

Chrono: "Ah Keroko there you are. Yuuno said he couldn't make it at the last second so he asked me to replace him."

Keroko:"Oh..I suppose it can't be helped then. Work takes precedence after all."

Chrono: "Shall we ?"

*around the corner Yuuno lies gagged and Struggle Bound*

Yuuno: "Chrughh urgh urghtrd !"

Wouldn't surprise me. Chaos would love it.

[TheShinySword]

Originally Posted by Sheba

Don't worry, Nanoha and Fate will don their barrier jackets and run across pipes and landscapes while beaming stupid turtles. And eat mushrooms to grow bigger.

"Sorry White Devil. The Kaiserin is in another castle!"

Eat... mushrooms

Nanoha: But which is the real Vivio? The pink one, the blue one?
Fate: I think its the rainbow one. All the pretty colors look~ it's a prettiful magical Kharckacorn let's ride on it! Wee!
Everyone else: >.> Let's leave them here -_-;

Stay away from 'shrooms kids they'll screw with your head.

[PhoenixG]

Originally Posted by Sheba

Don't worry, Nanoha and Fate will don their barrier jackets and run across pipes and landscapes while beaming stupid turtles. And eat mushrooms to grow bigger.

"Sorry White Devil. The Kaiserin is in another castle!"

Heh.... it's reminds my of the soundtrack where Marisa accidently gave a mushroom to Suika and became a gaint XD

[Evangelion Xgouki]

Originally Posted by Keroko

It is a little known fact that Keroko and Chrono were dating at one point in time.

*Runs like crazy while dodging red blasts of magic*

...interesting...

Originally Posted by Keroko

Vivio got kidnapped again? Curiosity burning.

Burning? Is it BURNING RED? IS THE EAST BURNING RED?!

*RUNZ*

Originally Posted by Tormenk

Keroko: "Yuuno-kun's late.. "

Chrono: "Ah Keroko there you are. Yuuno said he couldn't make it at the last second so he asked me to replace him."

Keroko:"Oh..I suppose it can't be helped then. Work takes precedence after all."

Chrono: "Shall we ?"

*around the corner Yuuno lies gagged and Struggle Bound*

Yuuno: "Chrughh urgh urghtrd !"

Bwahahaha

Poor Yuuno

[Keroko]

*rubs eyes tiredly* I'm tired and going to sleep, but I managed to finish this before I go.

Spoiler for Syn Virage:

Name: Syn Virage
Mage rank: AAA
Military Rank:
Age: 12
Gender: Female
Magic type: Belkan
Magic colour: Blue
Hair color: Blue
Eye color: heterochromia, her right eye is red, while her left eye is blue.
Hair style: Syn’s hairstyle varies often, as both her mother and Vivio love to play with her hair.
Favourite quote: "Boredom, mostly."

Apearance:

Spoiler for Syn in casual clothing:

Spoiler for Syn with her mother, Elena Virage:

Personality:
Blunt, sharp with the tongue and a smartass to boot. The terror of teachers, you could say. Syn can be extremely annoying at times, driving people up the walls with smart remarks. Smartass she may be, though, she is not stupid. Most of the times when she is in one of her moods, she will drive to the edge, but never over it. If she is not in one of her moods –which must be said, is more often the case-, you will find that while she may poke fun at other people’s expense, she doesn’t mean it in a harmful way. When encountering Syn on one of her more calm moods, she is easy to get along with, albeit a bit stubborn.

Syn if often willing to help if you ask it, and she finds it enjoyable to simply have a nice conversation to pass the time. She can get very defensive on subjects and locking horns with her in an argument means spending time getting through her stubbornness, as she tries to keep an open mind, but at times fails completely. She also has a habit of losing focus if a task at hand doesn’t hold her interest, which result in her usually finishing everything frantically at the last time. Miraculously, Syn rarely misses deadlines.

Background:
Syn is a Mid-Childan born girl, her parents being high-ranking officers in the navy, the talent for magic was quickly discovered and a career in the TSAB seems almost assured. However, when it came to picking a school, Syn was more interested in going to the far calmer school run by the Saint Church. Her parents agreed easily, possibly because they realized schools run, or otherwise funded by the TSAB may show favoritism.

When in the class, Syn felt isolated. With her mother being an Admiral in the navy, and her father a captain, she was treated with a certain amount of respect, awe, and unfortunately distance from her fellow classmates. This is probably why she quickly made friends with Vivio, whose mother was the even more famous Takamachi Nanoha. The two felt a shared connection between each other, and quickly they would work, eat and hang out together. It was during one of these hangout sessions that Vivio began to play with Syn’s hair, and developed a liking for it, much to Syn’s embarrassment.

Vivio quickly met Syn’s mother, Elena Virage, who had settled down for a desk job after becoming pregnant with Syn in order to raise their child. The two hit of perfectly, as Elena’s openness quickly accepted Vivio, and the two shared a liking for making sure the ‘plain’ Syn looked attractive.

To this day Syn still isn’t sure whether to bless or curse the fact that these two get along so fine.

A few years later, after successfully graduating, Syn applied to the TSAB along with Vivio. Their talent and heritage allowed them to bypass the lengthy Ground Force Training and the two were given the crash-course of several months. After successfully passing the AAA-rank test, the two quickly applied for the Armed Corps in the Main Branch.

Barrier Jacket:
Syn’s Barrier Jacket was designed by her mother and Vivio. Her initial idea was to simply use the standard Barrier Jacket the Armed Forces used, but the two would have none of that, and set of to design Syn her very own and personal Barrier Jacket.

The result was this:

Spoiler for Barrier Jacket:

Needless to say Syn was downright mortified, in fact at first she flatly refused to believe this was true, and frantically kept telling herself it was a dream and she would wake up soon. Syn’s Barrier Jacket is focused on high-defense, with as much maneuverability as possible, but only as a secondary concern. The wings floating just off her jacket help stabilize her flight magic.

Device:

Spoiler:

Hellskor is Syn’s Bow-type Device, its stored mode materializes as a bracelet worn on Syn’s right wrist. Hellskor is an Armed Device, and as such is not equipped with an AI as advanced as the types of Raising Heart and the like. Hellskor’s AI is more on the level of Levantine or Graff Eisen. Hellskor is made to specialize long-ranged bombardment magic, as well as physical shots. It allows Syn better control over her guided shots, and increases the accuracy of unguided high-speed and long-range projectiles.

Being in a Belkan school, and having a friend very important to Belkan history, Syn grew up favoring the Belkan school of magic. However, from her nature Syn had always been more of an archer then a swordfighter, so she decided to take a rare step for a Belkan mage: Become a ranged Belkan fighter.

Due to the nature of Belkan Reinforcement magic, this meant that her choice of weaponry was limited. Most gun-based Devices were build to support the Mid-style magic, and lacked any form of physical shots. Rescue came in the form of Signum, whom Vivio had told lots of stories about, and the Bow-form of her Device.

A bow allowed for the use of as many physical projectiles as the user could generate, and arrows were the perfect weapons to Reinforce, as they could take on any shape the mage desired with few restrictions.

Syn has virtually no melee skills, nor spells to support them, so she is completely dependant on getting her enemies from a far range.

Spells:
Offensive spells
Sperrfeuer -- Curtain Fire: A bombardment-type magic, while only one arrow is strung on the bow; many more arrows materialize around Syn, which can be fired simultaneously. These projectiles strike with high speed and strength, but cannot be controlled.

Flakfeuer – Aerial Barrage: A controlled fire spell, while only one arrow is strung on the bow, multiple arrows, ranging from 3 to seven, materialize around Syn, which can be fired simultaneously. These shots have the lowest speed among Syn’s spells, but are controllable.

Caladbolg: A single-shot bombardment spell. It uses a single projectile, shaped like a strangely twisted sword-like arrow with a drill-like pattern, which is shot at high speed at the target. Its danger lies in that fact that it is a fast projectile, making it tricky to dodge. This is Syn’s most commonly used spell due to its low mana cost.

Hrunting: With little argue the most powerful of Syn’s offensive spells, with the longest of ranges in Syn’s arsenal. Despite firing only a single projectile, this spell can cause massive damage. Instead of spreading the damage over a large radius, as most bombardment spells do, this spell focuses all that damage in that single projectile, increasing its destructive qualities while lessening the damage radius. Hrunting is known for its high penetration, and few defences of its level can stand up against it.

Defensive/Movement
Movement Magic: Because Syn focuses on defence rather then mobility, she is not extremely fast. Using movement magic she is able to teleport away and reposition for another shot. The advantage of this is that it may throw an enemy of guard, the downside is that casting and coordinating the spell takes a short time.

Panzer Schild: A Belkan shield spell, this is arguably the most used defensive spell in Syn’s arsenal, using it to block her enemies attacks and counterattack afterwards. Syn is very talented in defensive spells, so her shield can take a pounding before going down.

Panzer Hindernis: A Belkan Barrier Spell, while less used then Panzer Schild, it often sees use to block attacks coming from the sides or attacks made while Syn’s hands are otherwise occupied.

Panzer Geist: A Belkan field spell, most often used to block attacks coming from all around her. Syn also uses it for its intimidating effect, because there is nothing more intimidating then someone simply standing there and taking your attacks without even flinching.

Enkidu: A binding spell, capable of being cast both at short and long ranges. Enkidu has no magic sealing or magic repelling, abilities but as a trade-off it is a very tough bind to break. It manifests as steel chains rather then magical ribbons, as the steel chains can be reinforced with Belkan magic.

Rho Aius: The second claim for the most powerful spell in Syn’s arsenal, Rho Aius would best be described as a multi-layered Barrier Spell. When casting, it appears in the form seven petals, each of which is as powerful as a concentrated Barrier. Rho Aius is a purely defensive spell created to block high-level spells. Because of its immense power required, Rho Aius is not a spell cast on a whim, and has a casting time, limiting its use to blocking high-level bombardment spells, or other spells that require a casting time before being fired.

[Sheba]

Originally Posted by Keroko

I see I'm not the only one thinking of that.



.

Could be worse like.... Fate speeding across roller coaster-like levels to collect rings, free loli clones at the end of stages and giving a beating to Dr Jail. Then optionally turn into Super Fate after collecting the seven Jewel Seeds hidden all over the game.