Nanoha FanFiction Discussion

[Byrnbot08]

Reading material, for readers. Comments below:

Spoiler for A wild COMMENT appeared!:

To start, looking at the overall story, it is slightly unnerving to be seeing Yuuno do that sort of thing to such an innocent little Vivio. Would probably raise eyebrows on FF.net, so like the others here I would advise not to post it, or to use caution if you are. [More pairings and premises is always good, keeps the readers on their toes and besides, beggars can't be choosers]

Vivio acts a slight bit... confused? Then again, you did write about something very confusing for a 10 year old to accept completely. Yuuno is quite unusually forward and perverted here, so OOC (like so many other things in this thread,) but due to unusual circumstances and conditions. [ Oh no. Exploded Nanoha? ]

Structure-wise, quite straight forward narration, well paced and seems like a recount from an accurate perspective. The end was quite sudden though, and there seems to be no loss of tension, like it's waiting for a proper conclusion. [I sense a tasteless joke here, .]

As a reader and not a writer, I feel the writing to be of good quality and as you said 00-Raiser, it is limey and OOC. No problems or confusions there. It is quite a polarising topic, but I've read worse things on the internet. Indeed, Radient is quite right in that you could rewrite/add-on to the story to make it more reasonable to the moral guardians out there. [I only regret not having more to read. Reader's lament.]

I think I got most of my opinions down simply, but PM me if anything above is unclear.

Quite unusual and intriguing, another interesting read from the thread. Looking forward to more of anything.

[00-Raiser]

It appears that my comments have offended some people and for that I would like to apologise. It was not my intent to brush off your good intentions or ignore your comments. I did read each comment in full and while I originally had no intention of altering the fic, I will now take your suggested revisions into consideration. I really do appreciate any feedback I get, so thank you for that.

[itanshi1]

Originally Posted by Rising Dragon

A better reason not to post it on FF.net is because it'll likely give more people there reason to flame Yuuno. Best to leave it here.

I'd rather flood fanfiction.net with yuunoha stories if only to have more stories of any kind.

[Satashi]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

I don't see the subject matter being a large problem for FF.net, especially since he can put a T or M rating on it and slap some warnings in the summary about content. But yeah, I wouldn't put it up; it wouldn't be a pretty reaction.

EDIT: Which, I mean, the way it is now would be asking for nasty responses. But if you go back and rework it a bit, I think you'd get much better reviews if you showed both sides of the incident and focused more on the emotions.

Yeah, that's what I meant it by <3

Originally Posted by 00-Raiser

It appears that my comments have offended some people and for that I would like to apologise. It was not my intent to brush off your good intentions or ignore your comments. I did read each comment in full and while I originally had no intention of altering the fic, I will now take your suggested revisions into consideration. I really do appreciate any feedback I get, so thank you for that.

Instead of altering it, why not name part one "Vivio" and part 2 "Yuuno" sdo it gives both sides evenly?

[Thunderbird]

Well I got bored so I decided to come up with something else for my BetrayerS fic. This is more for RB, Raiser, Alavon, and Kaijo.

Spoiler for Another day at The Shiny Sword Cafe:

"I'm here!" I called out into the cafe as I entered the door. I had to bend forward a little to catch my breath since I spent the last 7 mins running.

"You made it in time" Raiser greeted me with a nod as he placed the stack of plates on the table. "Good job, Nanoha-chan."

"Oi!" Alicia called from the back room "Hurry up and get over here!"

"You might want to avoid the office though" a sly voice called from behind me causing me to jump forward in surprise

"Satashi!" I whirled around once I recognized the voice. I seemed to have spun a little faster than I intended and slammed into Raiser.

"Whoa!" he caught me and tried to steady me some "You shouldn't be moving that fast." he slowly stabilized me "You ok?"

"Y-yeah" I quickly released him and looked back at the grinning midget with the moving fox ears. "Now what about the office?"

"Ah yeah." Alavon answered from behind the counter "The mistress is having a hard time trying to figure out what to write on her next story, so shes in a...'mood' right now"

"Are you coming to help or not?!" Alicia stepped out from the back room covered in dust and her hair disheveled "We have to get these done before the packages arrive!"

"What packages?" I tilted my head in confusion as I slowly made my way to the back room. I felt a chill go down my spine when i saw the grin on Satashi's face. I felt even MORE uncomfortable when Raiser wasn't saying anything.

"You'll see" Alavon gave a uneasy smile and turned back to her work.

Raiser and Satashi chose that time to escape and proceeded to be "busy" with their own manner of work.

"Ne, Alicia-chan" I couldn't help my curiosity. "What package?" I tied my hair back into a pony tail and started helping her sorting out all the different boxes.

"Ah, the Mistress ordered some extra uniforms for us to use" the blond responded absentmindedly, not even bothering to look at me as she searched for the location of the item she was supposed to be stocking.

"Do you know what is in it?" I began to get worried "The others don't seem to-achoo!" the dust in the area started to get to me.

"Bless you." she responded sparing me a glance to make sure i was ok "And no, I have no clue what it is. We'll just have to wait it out." she placed the last box in its place "There we go." she dusted her hands. "let's go take a break shall we?"

"Hey, Fate-chan!" a voice called from outside.

"Fate-chan?" I repeated, looking over at Alicia as if she would have an answer "What is she doing here?"

Alicia shook her head in silent response and followed me out of the storage area to see the rest of the crew busily chatting with Fate.

"Ah, Onee-chan. Nanoha." she greeted us "I came by to see how you two were doing." she smiled.

"I wish I were dead..." a gloomy voice came from the office door.

All of us turned our heads towards RB who was slowly coming out of the office with a dark and depressing aura around her. Raiser braced himself for some unknown reason, Alavon motioned to Alicia, and Satashi made the silent signal making an X with her arms and slowly moved to the back of the cafe to watch.

"What's wrong, Mistress?" I opened my mouth before anyone else could react to stop me. Big mistake.

It was then that RB ran up to me and wrapped her arms around my neck and started wailing.

"Nanoha!" she started to sob on my shoulder "I cant think of anything angsty to write for my next story~!" she continued to cry like a little kid that just lost their candy.

"Eh? Um...uh..." I started to look around for help. Satashi was in the corner using both hands to keep from laughing, Alavon was getting ready to take pictures, Alicia and Raiser shook their heads, which left Fate and myself in utter shock and unable to do anything. "I-its ok!" I tried to pat her head gently. "Wait a minute" I creased my brow and looked at her closely and sniffed the fragrance coming from her "Are you drunk?"

"She gets like this all the time" Raiser picked up the crying girl off me "Come on, sit down"

"But I need more materials!" she grabbed his collar and started to shake him

"500Y says that he calls for the frying pan first" Alicia put her money on the counter. "She should be used to being hit with it by now."

"You're on" Alavon placed her bet.

"Ahahahaha...." Fate sweat-dropped as she watched the bet before turning back to the scene.

"Calm down will you?" Raiser grabbed her shoulders to keep her from squirming "You had too much to drink since you couldn't think of anything!"

"No! No! Let me go!" RB started to flail around frantically much to everyone else's laughter.

"If you don't calm down..." Raiser started to get serious

"Here it comes!" Alicia and Alavon leaned forwards as if awaiting the next words that were going to come out of his mouth.

"PACKAGE FOR RADIANT BEAM!" a voice echoed from the door, effectively ruining the moment.

"Ah~ its finally here~!" Mistress quit struggling and staggered to her feet. She began to walk to the door in a wavy motion. If I didn't know that she was drunk, it probably would have looked like she was possessed or something.

"Thanks for the delivery Kaijo." she patted his head lightly "Do come in~" she meandered back to the table carrying the box in her hands. "Now then...here it is" she slowly opened it and pulled out all the contents.

"What...is that?" I heard Fate ask the question on my mind.

"Oh this?" RB answered with a really weird smile on her face "These are tonight's outfits!"

I wouldn't have been too worried had she been sober, but seeing her saying that while swaying slightly really didn't sit right with me for some reason.

"Here Satashi" she threw a small bag "You wear this tonight"

One of the ears on the girl's headband (at least I think its a headband) moved as if reacting to her thoughts as she opened the small bag and pulled out its contents.

"Wait..you want me to wear THIS?!" Satashi held up a round red hat with white bunnies on either side. "You cant be serious!"

"What? You were a former porn-star, this should be nothing!" Alicia teased, trying to keep herself from laughing.

Before Satashi could respond RB spoke up again, as if ignoring everyone else.

"Hai~ here you go Nanoha-chan" she threw me a bag.

I opened it and pulled out what looked like a white mini-skirt with a tail cape. A matching white blouse, stockings, and shoes came with it along with several red ribbons and gloves.

"Ummm?" I looked at the items then back to her.

"That's called a 'StrikerS' uniform" she smiled broadly at me "I know it will suit you well." she turned to the twins "Since you are here too Fate-chan I'd like to enlist your help tonight." she turned back to the box and started to shuffle through some more. "Ok which one of you is who?"

"Fate!" both answered in unison.

"No you're not!" one blond started

"Quit pretending!" the other replied "I'm Fate!"

"Enough!" RB put her hands to her ears like a child who didn't want to listen to anything else. "You, wear this" she handed one twin a bag "You wear this" she handed the other bag. "Go change!" she pointed to the locker room and ordered all four of us to march.

"Quite the crew you've got here" Kaijo finally spoke again, scratching the back of his head in slight amusement.

"Sorry you had to see that. Its not usually this bad" Raiser offered a lopsided smile in apology, before turning to make sure that RB wasn't falling over.

"One more thing~!" RB pulled out a brown cowboy hat and tossed it to Alavon before handing her a leather whip. "Here you go."

"Mistress...what is this?" Alavon looked at the items rather oddly before turning her attention to Raiser whose grin was slowly getting bigger. "What?"

"You're an archaeologist right?"

"Yes..." she answered slowly "MISTRESS!" she raised her voice once the truth dawned on her.

"Kyaa~ Save me!" RB playfully pulled both males in front of her as a shield

"We're done!" Satashi announced as 3 of us exited the locker room.

"Oooh~" looking good! Kaijo whistled.

I walked out in a StrikerS uniform with my hair tied into twin tails and in my hand was a staff with a large red orb on top. Fate-chan came out with a similar looking outfit but was black with gold trim and a white cape draped from her shoulders, her hair also in similar twin tails. She held a staff just like mine but had more of an axe head to it with a golden orb inside. Satashi wore a short red almost lolita looking dress and held a staff like we did, but looked more like a mallet on the end.

"Good, good." Mistress nodded in approval while looking us over "Where is the last person?"

"Onee-chan doesn't want to come out...ahahahaha~" Fate put her hand behind her head and sweat dropped

"Hmm~" RB's eyes narrowed as she smirked "so she got THAT outfit"

"What outfit?" Kaijo asked walking up next to her to get a better view.

"Come on out Alicia!" RB yelled into the locker room

"No! Its embarrassing!" the response came.

"Come out here this instant!" she crossed her arms

All of us stared at the hallway to the locker room as red eyes slowly peeked around the corner and looked back at us.

"Any time now!" she tapped her foot.

My eyes widened and my breath caught in my throat when Alicia finally came out in the open. She wore what looked like a black 1-peice swimsuit with a very short "skirt" that went all the way around at the waist held seemingly in place by a big red belt. She wore black stockings that went up to mid thigh and were also seemingly held up by smaller red belts. Another set of belts went around her chest and one more around her upper left arm. A black and red cape completed the ensemble while her hair was let loose.

"Onee-chan..." was all Fate-chan could say.

"Looking very good there" Satashi began to eye her and tease silently

"That looks...cute" Kaijo chose his words properly.

"..." I couldn't say anything, I was torn between admiration and laughter.

"Awww~" Alavon said as she started taking more and more pictures.

"Its embarrassing!" Alicia almost screamed, her face turning red enough to stop traffic. "Raiser! Say something!"

"Ahem" he cleared his throat "You know that does look good on you"

"RAISER!"

"What?" he raised his hands in defense "Its the opinion of a healthy male ok?"

"I'm so going to get you for this!" She turned her hand into a fist and tried to crush the air in it.

"Hai hai~!" The sobering RB clapped her hands a couple times to get everyone's attention. "We open in about 10 minutes. Get ready now!"

"Hai~"

[OZ7UP]

Originally Posted by Thunderbird

Well I got bored so I decided to come up with something else for my BetrayerS fic. This is more for RB, Raiser, Alavon, and Kaijo.

Spoiler for Another day at The Shiny Sword Cafe:

--snip--

I lol'd hard. Y'know, I could actually imagine this happening...

[00-Raiser]

Originally Posted by Thunderbird

Well I got bored so I decided to come up with something else for my BetrayerS fic. This is more for RB, Raiser, Alavon, and Kaijo.

Spoiler for Another day at The Shiny Sword Cafe:

"I'm here!" I called out into the cafe as I entered the door. I had to bend forward a little to catch my breath since I spent the last 7 mins running.

"You made it in time" Raiser greeted me with a nod as he placed the stack of plates on the table. "Good job, Nanoha-chan."

"Oi!" Alicia called from the back room "Hurry up and get over here!"

"You might want to avoid the office though" a sly voice called from behind me causing me to jump forward in surprise

"Satashi!" I whirled around once I recognized the voice. I seemed to have spun a little faster than I intended and slammed into Raiser.

"Whoa!" he caught me and tried to steady me some "You shouldn't be moving that fast." he slowly stabilized me "You ok?"

"Y-yeah" I quickly released him and looked back at the grinning midget with the moving fox ears. "Now what about the office?"

"Ah yeah." Alavon answered from behind the counter "The mistress is having a hard time trying to figure out what to write on her next story, so shes in a...'mood' right now"

"Are you coming to help or not?!" Alicia stepped out from the back room covered in dust and her hair disheveled "We have to get these done before the packages arrive!"

"What packages?" I tilted my head in confusion as I slowly made my way to the back room. I felt a chill go down my spine when i saw the grin on Satashi's face. I felt even MORE uncomfortable when Raiser wasn't saying anything.

"You'll see" Alavon gave a uneasy smile and turned back to her work.

Raiser and Satashi chose that time to escape and proceeded to be "busy" with their own manner of work.

"Ne, Alicia-chan" I couldn't help my curiosity. "What package?" I tied my hair back into a pony tail and started helping her sorting out all the different boxes.

"Ah, the Mistress ordered some extra uniforms for us to use" the blond responded absentmindedly, not even bothering to look at me as she searched for the location of the item she was supposed to be stocking.

"Do you know what is in it?" I began to get worried "The others don't seem to-achoo!" the dust in the area started to get to me.

"Bless you." she responded sparing me a glance to make sure i was ok "And no, I have no clue what it is. We'll just have to wait it out." she placed the last box in its place "There we go." she dusted her hands. "let's go take a break shall we?"

"Hey, Fate-chan!" a voice called from outside.

"Fate-chan?" I repeated, looking over at Alicia as if she would have an answer "What is she doing here?"

Alicia shook her head in silent response and followed me out of the storage area to see the rest of the crew busily chatting with Fate.

"Ah, Onee-chan. Nanoha." she greeted us "I came by to see how you two were doing." she smiled.

"I wish I were dead..." a gloomy voice came from the office door.

All of us turned our heads towards RB who was slowly coming out of the office with a dark and depressing aura around her. Raiser braced himself for some unknown reason, Alavon motioned to Alicia, and Satashi made the silent signal making an X with her arms and slowly moved to the back of the cafe to watch.

"What's wrong, Mistress?" I opened my mouth before anyone else could react to stop me. Big mistake.

It was then that RB ran up to me and wrapped her arms around my neck and started wailing.

"Nanoha!" she started to sob on my shoulder "I cant think of anything angsty to write for my next story~!" she continued to cry like a little kid that just lost their candy.

"Eh? Um...uh..." I started to look around for help. Satashi was in the corner using both hands to keep from laughing, Alavon was getting ready to take pictures, Alicia and Raiser shook their heads, which left Fate and myself in utter shock and unable to do anything. "I-its ok!" I tried to pat her head gently. "Wait a minute" I creased my brow and looked at her closely and sniffed the fragrance coming from her "Are you drunk?"

"She gets like this all the time" Raiser picked up the crying girl off me "Come on, sit down"

"But I need more materials!" she grabbed his collar and started to shake him

"500Y says that he calls for the frying pan first" Alicia put her money on the counter. "She should be used to being hit with it by now."

"You're on" Alavon placed her bet.

"Ahahahaha...." Fate sweat-dropped as she watched the bet before turning back to the scene.

"Calm down will you?" Raiser grabbed her shoulders to keep her from squirming "You had too much to drink since you couldn't think of anything!"

"No! No! Let me go!" RB started to flail around frantically much to everyone else's laughter.

"If you don't calm down..." Raiser started to get serious

"Here it comes!" Alicia and Alavon leaned forwards as if awaiting the next words that were going to come out of his mouth.

"PACKAGE FOR RADIANT BEAM!" a voice echoed from the door, effectively ruining the moment.

"Ah~ its finally here~!" Mistress quit struggling and staggered to her feet. She began to walk to the door in a wavy motion. If I didn't know that she was drunk, it probably would have looked like she was possessed or something.

"Thanks for the delivery Kaijo." she patted his head lightly "Do come in~" she meandered back to the table carrying the box in her hands. "Now then...here it is" she slowly opened it and pulled out all the contents.

"What...is that?" I heard Fate ask the question on my mind.

"Oh this?" RB answered with a really weird smile on her face "These are tonight's outfits!"

I wouldn't have been too worried had she been sober, but seeing her saying that while swaying slightly really didn't sit right with me for some reason.

"Here Satashi" she threw a small bag "You wear this tonight"

One of the ears on the girl's headband (at least I think its a headband) moved as if reacting to her thoughts as she opened the small bag and pulled out its contents.

"Wait..you want me to wear THIS?!" Satashi held up a round red hat with white bunnies on either side. "You cant be serious!"

"What? You were a former porn-star, this should be nothing!" Alicia teased, trying to keep herself from laughing.

Before Satashi could respond RB spoke up again, as if ignoring everyone else.

"Hai~ here you go Nanoha-chan" she threw me a bag.

I opened it and pulled out what looked like a white mini-skirt with a tail cape. A matching white blouse, stockings, and shoes came with it along with several red ribbons and gloves.

"Ummm?" I looked at the items then back to her.

"That's called a 'StrikerS' uniform" she smiled broadly at me "I know it will suit you well." she turned to the twins "Since you are here too Fate-chan I'd like to enlist your help tonight." she turned back to the box and started to shuffle through some more. "Ok which one of you is who?"

"Fate!" both answered in unison.

"No you're not!" one blond started

"Quit pretending!" the other replied "I'm Fate!"

"Enough!" RB put her hands to her ears like a child who didn't want to listen to anything else. "You, wear this" she handed one twin a bag "You wear this" she handed the other bag. "Go change!" she pointed to the locker room and ordered all four of us to march.

"Quite the crew you've got here" Kaijo finally spoke again, scratching the back of his head in slight amusement.

"Sorry you had to see that. Its not usually this bad" Raiser offered a lopsided smile in apology, before turning to make sure that RB wasn't falling over.

"One more thing~!" RB pulled out a brown cowboy hat and tossed it to Alavon before handing her a leather whip. "Here you go."

"Mistress...what is this?" Alavon looked at the items rather oddly before turning her attention to Raiser whose grin was slowly getting bigger. "What?"

"You're an archaeologist right?"

"Yes..." she answered slowly "MISTRESS!" she raised her voice once the truth dawned on her.

"Kyaa~ Save me!" RB playfully pulled both males in front of her as a shield

"We're done!" Satashi announced as 3 of us exited the locker room.

"Oooh~" looking good! Kaijo whistled.

I walked out in a StrikerS uniform with my hair tied into twin tails and in my hand was a staff with a large red orb on top. Fate-chan came out with a similar looking outfit but was black with gold trim and a white cape draped from her shoulders, her hair also in similar twin tails. She held a staff just like mine but had more of an axe head to it with a golden orb inside. Satashi wore a short red almost lolita looking dress and held a staff like we did, but looked more like a mallet on the end.

"Good, good." Mistress nodded in approval while looking us over "Where is the last person?"

"Onee-chan doesn't want to come out...ahahahaha~" Fate put her hand behind her head and sweat dropped

"Hmm~" RB's eyes narrowed as she smirked "so she got THAT outfit"

"What outfit?" Kaijo asked walking up next to her to get a better view.

"Come on out Alicia!" RB yelled into the locker room

"No! Its embarrassing!" the response came.

"Come out here this instant!" she crossed her arms

All of us stared at the hallway to the locker room as red eyes slowly peeked around the corner and looked back at us.

"Any time now!" she tapped her foot.

My eyes widened and my breath caught in my throat when Alicia finally came out in the open. She wore what looked like a black 1-peice swimsuit with a very short "skirt" that went all the way around at the waist held seemingly in place by a big red belt. She wore black stockings that went up to mid thigh and were also seemingly held up by smaller red belts. Another set of belts went around her chest and one more around her upper left arm. A black and red cape completed the ensemble while her hair was let loose.

"Onee-chan..." was all Fate-chan could say.

"Looking very good there" Satashi began to eye her and tease silently

"That looks...cute" Kaijo chose his words properly.

"..." I couldn't say anything, I was torn between admiration and laughter.

"Awww~" Alavon said as she started taking more and more pictures.

"Its embarrassing!" Alicia almost screamed, her face turning red enough to stop traffic. "Raiser! Say something!"

"Ahem" he cleared his throat "You know that does look good on you"

"RAISER!"

"What?" he raised his hands in defense "Its the opinion of a healthy male ok?"

"I'm so going to get you for this!" She turned her hand into a fist and tried to crush the air in it.

"Hai hai~!" The sobering RB clapped her hands a couple times to get everyone's attention. "We open in about 10 minutes. Get ready now!"

"Hai~"

Heh, Alicia's going to kill me, isn't she? Well, if that meant getting a closer look at her in that outfit, I think it would be worth it

[Kaijo]

Originally Posted by Thunderbird

Well I got bored so I decided to come up with something else for my BetrayerS fic. This is more for RB, Raiser, Alavon, and Kaijo.

Spoiler for Another day at The Shiny Sword Cafe:

"I'm here!" I called out into the cafe as I entered the door. I had to bend forward a little to catch my breath since I spent the last 7 mins running.

"You made it in time" Raiser greeted me with a nod as he placed the stack of plates on the table. "Good job, Nanoha-chan."

"Oi!" Alicia called from the back room "Hurry up and get over here!"

"You might want to avoid the office though" a sly voice called from behind me causing me to jump forward in surprise

"Satashi!" I whirled around once I recognized the voice. I seemed to have spun a little faster than I intended and slammed into Raiser.

"Whoa!" he caught me and tried to steady me some "You shouldn't be moving that fast." he slowly stabilized me "You ok?"

"Y-yeah" I quickly released him and looked back at the grinning midget with the moving fox ears. "Now what about the office?"

"Ah yeah." Alavon answered from behind the counter "The mistress is having a hard time trying to figure out what to write on her next story, so shes in a...'mood' right now"

"Are you coming to help or not?!" Alicia stepped out from the back room covered in dust and her hair disheveled "We have to get these done before the packages arrive!"

"What packages?" I tilted my head in confusion as I slowly made my way to the back room. I felt a chill go down my spine when i saw the grin on Satashi's face. I felt even MORE uncomfortable when Raiser wasn't saying anything.

"You'll see" Alavon gave a uneasy smile and turned back to her work.

Raiser and Satashi chose that time to escape and proceeded to be "busy" with their own manner of work.

"Ne, Alicia-chan" I couldn't help my curiosity. "What package?" I tied my hair back into a pony tail and started helping her sorting out all the different boxes.

"Ah, the Mistress ordered some extra uniforms for us to use" the blond responded absentmindedly, not even bothering to look at me as she searched for the location of the item she was supposed to be stocking.

"Do you know what is in it?" I began to get worried "The others don't seem to-achoo!" the dust in the area started to get to me.

"Bless you." she responded sparing me a glance to make sure i was ok "And no, I have no clue what it is. We'll just have to wait it out." she placed the last box in its place "There we go." she dusted her hands. "let's go take a break shall we?"

"Hey, Fate-chan!" a voice called from outside.

"Fate-chan?" I repeated, looking over at Alicia as if she would have an answer "What is she doing here?"

Alicia shook her head in silent response and followed me out of the storage area to see the rest of the crew busily chatting with Fate.

"Ah, Onee-chan. Nanoha." she greeted us "I came by to see how you two were doing." she smiled.

"I wish I were dead..." a gloomy voice came from the office door.

All of us turned our heads towards RB who was slowly coming out of the office with a dark and depressing aura around her. Raiser braced himself for some unknown reason, Alavon motioned to Alicia, and Satashi made the silent signal making an X with her arms and slowly moved to the back of the cafe to watch.

"What's wrong, Mistress?" I opened my mouth before anyone else could react to stop me. Big mistake.

It was then that RB ran up to me and wrapped her arms around my neck and started wailing.

"Nanoha!" she started to sob on my shoulder "I cant think of anything angsty to write for my next story~!" she continued to cry like a little kid that just lost their candy.

"Eh? Um...uh..." I started to look around for help. Satashi was in the corner using both hands to keep from laughing, Alavon was getting ready to take pictures, Alicia and Raiser shook their heads, which left Fate and myself in utter shock and unable to do anything. "I-its ok!" I tried to pat her head gently. "Wait a minute" I creased my brow and looked at her closely and sniffed the fragrance coming from her "Are you drunk?"

"She gets like this all the time" Raiser picked up the crying girl off me "Come on, sit down"

"But I need more materials!" she grabbed his collar and started to shake him

"500Y says that he calls for the frying pan first" Alicia put her money on the counter. "She should be used to being hit with it by now."

"You're on" Alavon placed her bet.

"Ahahahaha...." Fate sweat-dropped as she watched the bet before turning back to the scene.

"Calm down will you?" Raiser grabbed her shoulders to keep her from squirming "You had too much to drink since you couldn't think of anything!"

"No! No! Let me go!" RB started to flail around frantically much to everyone else's laughter.

"If you don't calm down..." Raiser started to get serious

"Here it comes!" Alicia and Alavon leaned forwards as if awaiting the next words that were going to come out of his mouth.

"PACKAGE FOR RADIANT BEAM!" a voice echoed from the door, effectively ruining the moment.

"Ah~ its finally here~!" Mistress quit struggling and staggered to her feet. She began to walk to the door in a wavy motion. If I didn't know that she was drunk, it probably would have looked like she was possessed or something.

"Thanks for the delivery Kaijo." she patted his head lightly "Do come in~" she meandered back to the table carrying the box in her hands. "Now then...here it is" she slowly opened it and pulled out all the contents.

"What...is that?" I heard Fate ask the question on my mind.

"Oh this?" RB answered with a really weird smile on her face "These are tonight's outfits!"

I wouldn't have been too worried had she been sober, but seeing her saying that while swaying slightly really didn't sit right with me for some reason.

"Here Satashi" she threw a small bag "You wear this tonight"

One of the ears on the girl's headband (at least I think its a headband) moved as if reacting to her thoughts as she opened the small bag and pulled out its contents.

"Wait..you want me to wear THIS?!" Satashi held up a round red hat with white bunnies on either side. "You cant be serious!"

"What? You were a former porn-star, this should be nothing!" Alicia teased, trying to keep herself from laughing.

Before Satashi could respond RB spoke up again, as if ignoring everyone else.

"Hai~ here you go Nanoha-chan" she threw me a bag.

I opened it and pulled out what looked like a white mini-skirt with a tail cape. A matching white blouse, stockings, and shoes came with it along with several red ribbons and gloves.

"Ummm?" I looked at the items then back to her.

"That's called a 'StrikerS' uniform" she smiled broadly at me "I know it will suit you well." she turned to the twins "Since you are here too Fate-chan I'd like to enlist your help tonight." she turned back to the box and started to shuffle through some more. "Ok which one of you is who?"

"Fate!" both answered in unison.

"No you're not!" one blond started

"Quit pretending!" the other replied "I'm Fate!"

"Enough!" RB put her hands to her ears like a child who didn't want to listen to anything else. "You, wear this" she handed one twin a bag "You wear this" she handed the other bag. "Go change!" she pointed to the locker room and ordered all four of us to march.

"Quite the crew you've got here" Kaijo finally spoke again, scratching the back of his head in slight amusement.

"Sorry you had to see that. Its not usually this bad" Raiser offered a lopsided smile in apology, before turning to make sure that RB wasn't falling over.

"One more thing~!" RB pulled out a brown cowboy hat and tossed it to Alavon before handing her a leather whip. "Here you go."

"Mistress...what is this?" Alavon looked at the items rather oddly before turning her attention to Raiser whose grin was slowly getting bigger. "What?"

"You're an archaeologist right?"

"Yes..." she answered slowly "MISTRESS!" she raised her voice once the truth dawned on her.

"Kyaa~ Save me!" RB playfully pulled both males in front of her as a shield

"We're done!" Satashi announced as 3 of us exited the locker room.

"Oooh~" looking good! Kaijo whistled.

I walked out in a StrikerS uniform with my hair tied into twin tails and in my hand was a staff with a large red orb on top. Fate-chan came out with a similar looking outfit but was black with gold trim and a white cape draped from her shoulders, her hair also in similar twin tails. She held a staff just like mine but had more of an axe head to it with a golden orb inside. Satashi wore a short red almost lolita looking dress and held a staff like we did, but looked more like a mallet on the end.

"Good, good." Mistress nodded in approval while looking us over "Where is the last person?"

"Onee-chan doesn't want to come out...ahahahaha~" Fate put her hand behind her head and sweat dropped

"Hmm~" RB's eyes narrowed as she smirked "so she got THAT outfit"

"What outfit?" Kaijo asked walking up next to her to get a better view.

"Come on out Alicia!" RB yelled into the locker room

"No! Its embarrassing!" the response came.

"Come out here this instant!" she crossed her arms

All of us stared at the hallway to the locker room as red eyes slowly peeked around the corner and looked back at us.

"Any time now!" she tapped her foot.

My eyes widened and my breath caught in my throat when Alicia finally came out in the open. She wore what looked like a black 1-peice swimsuit with a very short "skirt" that went all the way around at the waist held seemingly in place by a big red belt. She wore black stockings that went up to mid thigh and were also seemingly held up by smaller red belts. Another set of belts went around her chest and one more around her upper left arm. A black and red cape completed the ensemble while her hair was let loose.

"Onee-chan..." was all Fate-chan could say.

"Looking very good there" Satashi began to eye her and tease silently

"That looks...cute" Kaijo chose his words properly.

"..." I couldn't say anything, I was torn between admiration and laughter.

"Awww~" Alavon said as she started taking more and more pictures.

"Its embarrassing!" Alicia almost screamed, her face turning red enough to stop traffic. "Raiser! Say something!"

"Ahem" he cleared his throat "You know that does look good on you"

"RAISER!"

"What?" he raised his hands in defense "Its the opinion of a healthy male ok?"

"I'm so going to get you for this!" She turned her hand into a fist and tried to crush the air in it.

"Hai hai~!" The sobering RB clapped her hands a couple times to get everyone's attention. "We open in about 10 minutes. Get ready now!"

"Hai~"

So I'm a delivery guy, eh? I bringz the sexy outfits!

This is starting to seem like one of those cosplay cafes in Japan... maybe could add a side room where guys sit in a booth and have women sit and talk to them while pouring them alcohol, haha! Not sure what they're called...

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Thunderbird

Well I got bored so I decided to come up with something else for my BetrayerS fic. This is more for RB, Raiser, Alavon, and Kaijo.

Spoiler for Another day at The Shiny Sword Cafe:

"I'm here!" I called out into the cafe as I entered the door. I had to bend forward a little to catch my breath since I spent the last 7 mins running.

"You made it in time" Raiser greeted me with a nod as he placed the stack of plates on the table. "Good job, Nanoha-chan."

"Oi!" Alicia called from the back room "Hurry up and get over here!"

"You might want to avoid the office though" a sly voice called from behind me causing me to jump forward in surprise

"Satashi!" I whirled around once I recognized the voice. I seemed to have spun a little faster than I intended and slammed into Raiser.

"Whoa!" he caught me and tried to steady me some "You shouldn't be moving that fast." he slowly stabilized me "You ok?"

"Y-yeah" I quickly released him and looked back at the grinning midget with the moving fox ears. "Now what about the office?"

"Ah yeah." Alavon answered from behind the counter "The mistress is having a hard time trying to figure out what to write on her next story, so shes in a...'mood' right now"

"Are you coming to help or not?!" Alicia stepped out from the back room covered in dust and her hair disheveled "We have to get these done before the packages arrive!"

"What packages?" I tilted my head in confusion as I slowly made my way to the back room. I felt a chill go down my spine when i saw the grin on Satashi's face. I felt even MORE uncomfortable when Raiser wasn't saying anything.

"You'll see" Alavon gave a uneasy smile and turned back to her work.

Raiser and Satashi chose that time to escape and proceeded to be "busy" with their own manner of work.

"Ne, Alicia-chan" I couldn't help my curiosity. "What package?" I tied my hair back into a pony tail and started helping her sorting out all the different boxes.

"Ah, the Mistress ordered some extra uniforms for us to use" the blond responded absentmindedly, not even bothering to look at me as she searched for the location of the item she was supposed to be stocking.

"Do you know what is in it?" I began to get worried "The others don't seem to-achoo!" the dust in the area started to get to me.

"Bless you." she responded sparing me a glance to make sure i was ok "And no, I have no clue what it is. We'll just have to wait it out." she placed the last box in its place "There we go." she dusted her hands. "let's go take a break shall we?"

"Hey, Fate-chan!" a voice called from outside.

"Fate-chan?" I repeated, looking over at Alicia as if she would have an answer "What is she doing here?"

Alicia shook her head in silent response and followed me out of the storage area to see the rest of the crew busily chatting with Fate.

"Ah, Onee-chan. Nanoha." she greeted us "I came by to see how you two were doing." she smiled.

"I wish I were dead..." a gloomy voice came from the office door.

All of us turned our heads towards RB who was slowly coming out of the office with a dark and depressing aura around her. Raiser braced himself for some unknown reason, Alavon motioned to Alicia, and Satashi made the silent signal making an X with her arms and slowly moved to the back of the cafe to watch.

"What's wrong, Mistress?" I opened my mouth before anyone else could react to stop me. Big mistake.

It was then that RB ran up to me and wrapped her arms around my neck and started wailing.

"Nanoha!" she started to sob on my shoulder "I cant think of anything angsty to write for my next story~!" she continued to cry like a little kid that just lost their candy.

"Eh? Um...uh..." I started to look around for help. Satashi was in the corner using both hands to keep from laughing, Alavon was getting ready to take pictures, Alicia and Raiser shook their heads, which left Fate and myself in utter shock and unable to do anything. "I-its ok!" I tried to pat her head gently. "Wait a minute" I creased my brow and looked at her closely and sniffed the fragrance coming from her "Are you drunk?"

"She gets like this all the time" Raiser picked up the crying girl off me "Come on, sit down"

"But I need more materials!" she grabbed his collar and started to shake him

"500Y says that he calls for the frying pan first" Alicia put her money on the counter. "She should be used to being hit with it by now."

"You're on" Alavon placed her bet.

"Ahahahaha...." Fate sweat-dropped as she watched the bet before turning back to the scene.

"Calm down will you?" Raiser grabbed her shoulders to keep her from squirming "You had too much to drink since you couldn't think of anything!"

"No! No! Let me go!" RB started to flail around frantically much to everyone else's laughter.

"If you don't calm down..." Raiser started to get serious

"Here it comes!" Alicia and Alavon leaned forwards as if awaiting the next words that were going to come out of his mouth.

"PACKAGE FOR RADIANT BEAM!" a voice echoed from the door, effectively ruining the moment.

"Ah~ its finally here~!" Mistress quit struggling and staggered to her feet. She began to walk to the door in a wavy motion. If I didn't know that she was drunk, it probably would have looked like she was possessed or something.

"Thanks for the delivery Kaijo." she patted his head lightly "Do come in~" she meandered back to the table carrying the box in her hands. "Now then...here it is" she slowly opened it and pulled out all the contents.

"What...is that?" I heard Fate ask the question on my mind.

"Oh this?" RB answered with a really weird smile on her face "These are tonight's outfits!"

I wouldn't have been too worried had she been sober, but seeing her saying that while swaying slightly really didn't sit right with me for some reason.

"Here Satashi" she threw a small bag "You wear this tonight"

One of the ears on the girl's headband (at least I think its a headband) moved as if reacting to her thoughts as she opened the small bag and pulled out its contents.

"Wait..you want me to wear THIS?!" Satashi held up a round red hat with white bunnies on either side. "You cant be serious!"

"What? You were a former porn-star, this should be nothing!" Alicia teased, trying to keep herself from laughing.

Before Satashi could respond RB spoke up again, as if ignoring everyone else.

"Hai~ here you go Nanoha-chan" she threw me a bag.

I opened it and pulled out what looked like a white mini-skirt with a tail cape. A matching white blouse, stockings, and shoes came with it along with several red ribbons and gloves.

"Ummm?" I looked at the items then back to her.

"That's called a 'StrikerS' uniform" she smiled broadly at me "I know it will suit you well." she turned to the twins "Since you are here too Fate-chan I'd like to enlist your help tonight." she turned back to the box and started to shuffle through some more. "Ok which one of you is who?"

"Fate!" both answered in unison.

"No you're not!" one blond started

"Quit pretending!" the other replied "I'm Fate!"

"Enough!" RB put her hands to her ears like a child who didn't want to listen to anything else. "You, wear this" she handed one twin a bag "You wear this" she handed the other bag. "Go change!" she pointed to the locker room and ordered all four of us to march.

"Quite the crew you've got here" Kaijo finally spoke again, scratching the back of his head in slight amusement.

"Sorry you had to see that. Its not usually this bad" Raiser offered a lopsided smile in apology, before turning to make sure that RB wasn't falling over.

"One more thing~!" RB pulled out a brown cowboy hat and tossed it to Alavon before handing her a leather whip. "Here you go."

"Mistress...what is this?" Alavon looked at the items rather oddly before turning her attention to Raiser whose grin was slowly getting bigger. "What?"

"You're an archaeologist right?"

"Yes..." she answered slowly "MISTRESS!" she raised her voice once the truth dawned on her.

"Kyaa~ Save me!" RB playfully pulled both males in front of her as a shield

"We're done!" Satashi announced as 3 of us exited the locker room.

"Oooh~" looking good! Kaijo whistled.

I walked out in a StrikerS uniform with my hair tied into twin tails and in my hand was a staff with a large red orb on top. Fate-chan came out with a similar looking outfit but was black with gold trim and a white cape draped from her shoulders, her hair also in similar twin tails. She held a staff just like mine but had more of an axe head to it with a golden orb inside. Satashi wore a short red almost lolita looking dress and held a staff like we did, but looked more like a mallet on the end.

"Good, good." Mistress nodded in approval while looking us over "Where is the last person?"

"Onee-chan doesn't want to come out...ahahahaha~" Fate put her hand behind her head and sweat dropped

"Hmm~" RB's eyes narrowed as she smirked "so she got THAT outfit"

"What outfit?" Kaijo asked walking up next to her to get a better view.

"Come on out Alicia!" RB yelled into the locker room

"No! Its embarrassing!" the response came.

"Come out here this instant!" she crossed her arms

All of us stared at the hallway to the locker room as red eyes slowly peeked around the corner and looked back at us.

"Any time now!" she tapped her foot.

My eyes widened and my breath caught in my throat when Alicia finally came out in the open. She wore what looked like a black 1-peice swimsuit with a very short "skirt" that went all the way around at the waist held seemingly in place by a big red belt. She wore black stockings that went up to mid thigh and were also seemingly held up by smaller red belts. Another set of belts went around her chest and one more around her upper left arm. A black and red cape completed the ensemble while her hair was let loose.

"Onee-chan..." was all Fate-chan could say.

"Looking very good there" Satashi began to eye her and tease silently

"That looks...cute" Kaijo chose his words properly.

"..." I couldn't say anything, I was torn between admiration and laughter.

"Awww~" Alavon said as she started taking more and more pictures.

"Its embarrassing!" Alicia almost screamed, her face turning red enough to stop traffic. "Raiser! Say something!"

"Ahem" he cleared his throat "You know that does look good on you"

"RAISER!"

"What?" he raised his hands in defense "Its the opinion of a healthy male ok?"

"I'm so going to get you for this!" She turned her hand into a fist and tried to crush the air in it.

"Hai hai~!" The sobering RB clapped her hands a couple times to get everyone's attention. "We open in about 10 minutes. Get ready now!"

"Hai~"

I don't remember ever having a thing for gothic lolita outfits....

[Thunderbird]

Originally Posted by Kaijo

So I'm a delivery guy, eh? I bringz the sexy outfits!

This is starting to seem like one of those cosplay cafes in Japan... maybe could add a side room where guys sit in a booth and have women sit and talk to them while pouring them alcohol, haha! Not sure what they're called...

That would be more of Satashi's section methinks. Also it would probably be inappropriate for younger viewers

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

I don't remember ever having a thing for gothic lolita outfits....

I don't think I mentioned it this time. I gave Vita's outfit out only because I couldn't think of anything else on the spot XD


@Raiser: I dunno...might be more fun if I had you two duke it out XD

[DezoPenguin]

And another short, omake-ish fic featuring Shadow!Lutecia...if a bit outside her normal mode of operation...

Spoiler for The Godzilla Threshold:

Espionage was not supposed to work this way, thought Lutecia Alphine. It was supposed to be a simple mission: infiltrate a compound of terrorist rebels who were starting to extend their activities outside Administered World 23 and "extract" the charismatic and connected number-two man in the movement, preferably in such a way as to make it seem like the result of intercine strife. Thus, infighting would cripple the organization from within, allowing the local government to mop up. It was how the Naval Special Intelligence Service, the Shadows, preferred to do business. Cleanly, silently, without exposing their own involvement.

"Target Buster—Go!"


"Armor Shield!"


She barely got the shield spell up in time. S-rank she might be, but that was largely a function of her summoning abilities. Standard magical combat was not her forte, and the attack's impact jolted her backwards when it cut through her shield.


It had been going so well, too. Lutecia had used her Insect summon, a swarm of wasplike little techno-bugs, to control the enemy's machines and suppress their alarms, cameras, motion sensors, and other security measures. She'd analyzed their security positions and the guard posts, so that her intrusion was timed out with surgical precision.


Then one guy skipping out on his post to go relieve his bladder had blown everything up in her face. Now, she was fighting for her life against a cadre of bloodthirsty fanatics.


Two terrorists closed on her with spearlike Neo-Belkan devices. Her most loyal summon, Garyuu, met one of them, parrying the spear and driving him back into a wall with a spinning kick. The insect knight was, by himself, the equivalent of an A+ or even AA combat mage, reflecting the kind of power Lutecia had. The second attacker, though, she had to deal with on her own and the spearpoint sliced through her Barrier Jacket, tracing a line of fire along her left side below her ribs. Wincing in pain, she pivoted away from him.


"Flare Cluster!"


The six bullets from her shooting spell knocked the spearman flying. The exchange, however, had let the Mid-style guards reload and re-arm.


"Lethal Blade!"


"Target Seeker!"


"Strike Lance! Fly!"


Lutecia parried one attack, Garyuu blocked a cannon-style strike for her, and she dodged several shooting magic blasts, but she took two hits, one to the belly and one to the thigh, and found herself dropping to one knee, Garyuu launched himself at the three men, forcing them to scatter and cope with the new threat, but the breathing room gained was limited, as she heard the whisper of her Insect sentries' "voice" calling for her attention. As Garyuu's armblades set off flashes of light while clashing against hastily thrown-up barrier spells, Lutecia realized that she'd soon have to cope with incoming reinforcements from multiple directions, from low-ranking ground mages and weapon-equipped nulls to a variety of air mages, nearly thirty in all. Basically, the whole camp was scrambling.


She was running out of options.


The jeweled core of Asclepius, her Boost Device, pulsed, and the four-cornered Belkan summoning rune swelled beneath her feet.


~X X X~


The three mages swept in, the smoke and fog of battle obscuring their vision but at the same time letting them know that they were on the right track, just as several dozen of their fellows were doing from other directions. The government killers were putting up quite a fight; the corpses of what must be elite death-squad members would make a bold statement in the group's next media releases—at once showing the population that the "lawful" authority was waging a covert war on them and the government that the People's Freedom Union was not to be taken lightly!


"Can you clear some of this smoke?" the lead mage called to the woman on his left. She raised her device and conjured an air-elemental spell.


"Rushing Wind!"


The billowing smoke was swept aside, revealing that a dark blur they'd thought had been nearly a deeper color of ash had in fact been a shadow in the mist, something that rose up from the ground.


And up.


And up.


"Oh, crap."


~X X X~


Supervisory Special Agent Echo glared at Lutecia across the transparent plastic of the desktop.


"Agent Alphine," she said, "I would have thought that someone of your experience and training would be aware of what the word covert means?"


"Yes, I am," Lutecia replied calmly.


"Your mission was to assassinate a single target, preferably in such a fashion as the People's Freedom Union would not even realize that an outsider had been involved." A holographic screen popped up at Echo's command. It showed a stretch of ground where trees, grass, dirt, and any other sign of life had been scoured down to bare rock. "You can't even tell that there was a terrorist camp here!"


"Which means that there weren't any witnesses to report our involvement," Lutecia tried. "Technically, it remains a covert operation."


"The blast impact showed up on every seismic sensor for a six-hundred-mile radius! There have been extinction-level events which were less noticeable!"


"Hakutenou tends to be thorough..."


"The only reason the local government hasn't lodged a protest is that they're afraid we'll do it again!"


Lutecia had the grace to blush. Still, she rallied to her own defense.


"Agent Echo, I know this isn't the kind of action our service is supposed to be taking, but it also wasn't as outside the lines as you seem to think. The original objective was lost by the time I summoned Hakutenou, and there was a very real risk of me being killed by the terrorists, or worse yet taken alive. As it is, the target was eliminated, and while the secondary objective of instilling dissent within the People's Freedom Union wasn't achieved, we did eliminate an estimated sixty percent of their combat capacity, with zero collateral damage...well, if you're not a plant lover."


Echo groaned.


"It's a measure of how out of kilter I am that I can't even tell you what's wrong with that logic. I'm just going to forward this incident report upstairs to the director and let him worry about it. Just...for the sake of my impending ulcer, promise me one thing, Alphine?"


"What's that?"


"The next time you're in a situation where summoning a fifty-foot bug sounds like a good idea, would you call your girlfriend instead? Divine intervention would be easier to explain."

Spoiler for Author's Notes:

This story was inspired by two things: The title comes from the TV Trope of the same name, which represents the point at which a situation has deteriorated so badly that summoning Godzilla (okay, Hakutenou is more like Mothra, but the principle applies...) wouldn't make things any worse. The other inspiration was the only line worth remembering from the movie Ishtar, when helicopters are on the move and stuff is blowing up and the CIA agent reports, "Sir, this operation is no longer covert."

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by DezoPenguin

"The next time you're in a situation where summoning a fifty-foot bug sounds like a good idea, would you call your girlfriend instead? Divine intervention would be easier to explain."

Lutecia: But that would give her ideas!

Oh, man, I laughed so hard with this. Ever since you made that crack during our PM discussions ("But if I summon him, it'll no longer be a covert mission!") I knew something like this would pop up sooner or later, and I enjoyed every second of it.

Do love how Lutecia still manages to talk her way out of it, though.

[Kaijo]

Originally Posted by DezoPenguin

And another short, omake-ish fic featuring Shadow!Lutecia...if a bit outside her normal mode of operation...

Spoiler for The Godzilla Threshold:

Espionage was not supposed to work this way, thought Lutecia Alphine. It was supposed to be a simple mission: infiltrate a compound of terrorist rebels who were starting to extend their activities outside Administered World 23 and "extract" the charismatic and connected number-two man in the movement, preferably in such a way as to make it seem like the result of intercine strife. Thus, infighting would cripple the organization from within, allowing the local government to mop up. It was how the Naval Special Intelligence Service, the Shadows, preferred to do business. Cleanly, silently, without exposing their own involvement.

"Target Buster—Go!"


"Armor Shield!"


She barely got the shield spell up in time. S-rank she might be, but that was largely a function of her summoning abilities. Standard magical combat was not her forte, and the attack's impact jolted her backwards when it cut through her shield.


It had been going so well, too. Lutecia had used her Insect summon, a swarm of wasplike little techno-bugs, to control the enemy's machines and suppress their alarms, cameras, motion sensors, and other security measures. She'd analyzed their security positions and the guard posts, so that her intrusion was timed out with surgical precision.


Then one guy skipping out on his post to go relieve his bladder had blown everything up in her face. Now, she was fighting for her life against a cadre of bloodthirsty fanatics.


Two terrorists closed on her with spearlike Neo-Belkan devices. Her most loyal summon, Garyuu, met one of them, parrying the spear and driving him back into a wall with a spinning kick. The insect knight was, by himself, the equivalent of an A+ or even AA combat mage, reflecting the kind of power Lutecia had. The second attacker, though, she had to deal with on her own and the spearpoint sliced through her Barrier Jacket, tracing a line of fire along her left side below her ribs. Wincing in pain, she pivoted away from him.


"Flare Cluster!"


The six bullets from her shooting spell knocked the spearman flying. The exchange, however, had let the Mid-style guards reload and re-arm.


"Lethal Blade!"


"Target Seeker!"


"Strike Lance! Fly!"


Lutecia parried one attack, Garyuu blocked a cannon-style strike for her, and she dodged several shooting magic blasts, but she took two hits, one to the belly and one to the thigh, and found herself dropping to one knee, Garyuu launched himself at the three men, forcing them to scatter and cope with the new threat, but the breathing room gained was limited, as she heard the whisper of her Insect sentries' "voice" calling for her attention. As Garyuu's armblades set off flashes of light while clashing against hastily thrown-up barrier spells, Lutecia realized that she'd soon have to cope with incoming reinforcements from multiple directions, from low-ranking ground mages and weapon-equipped nulls to a variety of air mages, nearly thirty in all. Basically, the whole camp was scrambling.


She was running out of options.


The jeweled core of Asclepius, her Boost Device, pulsed, and the four-cornered Belkan summoning rune swelled beneath her feet.


~X X X~


The three mages swept in, the smoke and fog of battle obscuring their vision but at the same time letting them know that they were on the right track, just as several dozen of their fellows were doing from other directions. The government killers were putting up quite a fight; the corpses of what must be elite death-squad members would make a bold statement in the group's next media releases—at once showing the population that the "lawful" authority was waging a covert war on them and the government that the People's Freedom Union was not to be taken lightly!


"Can you clear some of this smoke?" the lead mage called to the woman on his left. She raised her device and conjured an air-elemental spell.


"Rushing Wind!"


The billowing smoke was swept aside, revealing that a dark blur they'd thought had been nearly a deeper color of ash had in fact been a shadow in the mist, something that rose up from the ground.


And up.


And up.


"Oh, crap."


~X X X~


Supervisory Special Agent Echo glared at Lutecia across the transparent plastic of the desktop.


"Agent Alphine," she said, "I would have thought that someone of your experience and training would be aware of what the word covert means?"


"Yes, I am," Lutecia replied calmly.


"Your mission was to assassinate a single target, preferably in such a fashion as the People's Freedom Union would not even realize that an outsider had been involved." A holographic screen popped up at Echo's command. It showed a stretch of ground where trees, grass, dirt, and any other sign of life had been scoured down to bare rock. "You can't even tell that there was a terrorist camp here!"


"Which means that there weren't any witnesses to report our involvement," Lutecia tried. "Technically, it remains a covert operation."


"The blast impact showed up on every seismic sensor for a six-hundred-mile radius! There have been extinction-level events which were less noticeable!"


"Hakutenou tends to be thorough..."


"The only reason the local government hasn't lodged a protest is that they're afraid we'll do it again!"


Lutecia had the grace to blush. Still, she rallied to her own defense.


"Agent Echo, I know this isn't the kind of action our service is supposed to be taking, but it also wasn't as outside the lines as you seem to think. The original objective was lost by the time I summoned Hakutenou, and there was a very real risk of me being killed by the terrorists, or worse yet taken alive. As it is, the target was eliminated, and while the secondary objective of instilling dissent within the People's Freedom Union wasn't achieved, we did eliminate an estimated sixty percent of their combat capacity, with zero collateral damage...well, if you're not a plant lover."


Echo groaned.


"It's a measure of how out of kilter I am that I can't even tell you what's wrong with that logic. I'm just going to forward this incident report upstairs to the director and let him worry about it. Just...for the sake of my impending ulcer, promise me one thing, Alphine?"


"What's that?"


"The next time you're in a situation where summoning a fifty-foot bug sounds like a good idea, would you call your girlfriend instead? Divine intervention would be easier to explain."

Spoiler for Author's Notes:

This story was inspired by two things: The title comes from the TV Trope of the same name, which represents the point at which a situation has deteriorated so badly that summoning Godzilla (okay, Hakutenou is more like Mothra, but the principle applies...) wouldn't make things any worse. The other inspiration was the only line worth remembering from the movie Ishtar, when helicopters are on the move and stuff is blowing up and the CIA agent reports, "Sir, this operation is no longer covert."

Okay, I laughed. Not much else to say except: Nice. :P

[DezoPenguin]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

Oh, man, I laughed so hard with this.

Originally Posted by Kaijo

Okay, I laughed.

My work here is done.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by DezoPenguin

My work here is done.

You're posting this to FF.net, right? It's too funny not to.

[sniperk]

Originally Posted by DezoPenguin

My work here is done.

Oh no is not. *grabs Dezo by the collar* Go back writing. Mistress orders. *winks at RB*

That was FUN. Just the idea of having Vivio suddenly showing up and blasting hell loose gives me the shivers.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by sniperk

Just the idea of having Vivio suddenly showing up and blasting hell loose gives me the shivers.

Especially at the people who threatened her girlfriend's life.

[Kaijo]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

Especially at the people who threatened her girlfriend's life.

Terrorist #1: We're under attack!
Terrorist #2: What's happening!? So many explosions! Who could be doing this!?
Terrorist #3: *hobbles up* R-Run... *gasps and dies*
Terrorist #1: Um, let's get out of here! *looks around, seeing he's alone* ...#2? Where are you? *severed head of #2 lands at his feet, as he looks up to see a teenage girl staring expressionless at him.* "Oh god..."
Vivio: You got that right!

[Thunderbird]

Originally Posted by DezoPenguin

My work here is done.

very very nice and no its not!

[deathcurse]

Originally Posted by DezoPenguin

And another short, omake-ish fic featuring Shadow!Lutecia...if a bit outside her normal mode of operation...

Spoiler for The Godzilla Threshold:

Espionage was not supposed to work this way, thought Lutecia Alphine. It was supposed to be a simple mission: infiltrate a compound of terrorist rebels who were starting to extend their activities outside Administered World 23 and "extract" the charismatic and connected number-two man in the movement, preferably in such a way as to make it seem like the result of intercine strife. Thus, infighting would cripple the organization from within, allowing the local government to mop up. It was how the Naval Special Intelligence Service, the Shadows, preferred to do business. Cleanly, silently, without exposing their own involvement.

"Target Buster—Go!"


"Armor Shield!"


She barely got the shield spell up in time. S-rank she might be, but that was largely a function of her summoning abilities. Standard magical combat was not her forte, and the attack's impact jolted her backwards when it cut through her shield.


It had been going so well, too. Lutecia had used her Insect summon, a swarm of wasplike little techno-bugs, to control the enemy's machines and suppress their alarms, cameras, motion sensors, and other security measures. She'd analyzed their security positions and the guard posts, so that her intrusion was timed out with surgical precision.


Then one guy skipping out on his post to go relieve his bladder had blown everything up in her face. Now, she was fighting for her life against a cadre of bloodthirsty fanatics.


Two terrorists closed on her with spearlike Neo-Belkan devices. Her most loyal summon, Garyuu, met one of them, parrying the spear and driving him back into a wall with a spinning kick. The insect knight was, by himself, the equivalent of an A+ or even AA combat mage, reflecting the kind of power Lutecia had. The second attacker, though, she had to deal with on her own and the spearpoint sliced through her Barrier Jacket, tracing a line of fire along her left side below her ribs. Wincing in pain, she pivoted away from him.


"Flare Cluster!"


The six bullets from her shooting spell knocked the spearman flying. The exchange, however, had let the Mid-style guards reload and re-arm.


"Lethal Blade!"


"Target Seeker!"


"Strike Lance! Fly!"


Lutecia parried one attack, Garyuu blocked a cannon-style strike for her, and she dodged several shooting magic blasts, but she took two hits, one to the belly and one to the thigh, and found herself dropping to one knee, Garyuu launched himself at the three men, forcing them to scatter and cope with the new threat, but the breathing room gained was limited, as she heard the whisper of her Insect sentries' "voice" calling for her attention. As Garyuu's armblades set off flashes of light while clashing against hastily thrown-up barrier spells, Lutecia realized that she'd soon have to cope with incoming reinforcements from multiple directions, from low-ranking ground mages and weapon-equipped nulls to a variety of air mages, nearly thirty in all. Basically, the whole camp was scrambling.


She was running out of options.


The jeweled core of Asclepius, her Boost Device, pulsed, and the four-cornered Belkan summoning rune swelled beneath her feet.


~X X X~


The three mages swept in, the smoke and fog of battle obscuring their vision but at the same time letting them know that they were on the right track, just as several dozen of their fellows were doing from other directions. The government killers were putting up quite a fight; the corpses of what must be elite death-squad members would make a bold statement in the group's next media releases—at once showing the population that the "lawful" authority was waging a covert war on them and the government that the People's Freedom Union was not to be taken lightly!


"Can you clear some of this smoke?" the lead mage called to the woman on his left. She raised her device and conjured an air-elemental spell.


"Rushing Wind!"


The billowing smoke was swept aside, revealing that a dark blur they'd thought had been nearly a deeper color of ash had in fact been a shadow in the mist, something that rose up from the ground.


And up.


And up.


"Oh, crap."


~X X X~


Supervisory Special Agent Echo glared at Lutecia across the transparent plastic of the desktop.


"Agent Alphine," she said, "I would have thought that someone of your experience and training would be aware of what the word covert means?"


"Yes, I am," Lutecia replied calmly.


"Your mission was to assassinate a single target, preferably in such a fashion as the People's Freedom Union would not even realize that an outsider had been involved." A holographic screen popped up at Echo's command. It showed a stretch of ground where trees, grass, dirt, and any other sign of life had been scoured down to bare rock. "You can't even tell that there was a terrorist camp here!"


"Which means that there weren't any witnesses to report our involvement," Lutecia tried. "Technically, it remains a covert operation."


"The blast impact showed up on every seismic sensor for a six-hundred-mile radius! There have been extinction-level events which were less noticeable!"


"Hakutenou tends to be thorough..."


"The only reason the local government hasn't lodged a protest is that they're afraid we'll do it again!"


Lutecia had the grace to blush. Still, she rallied to her own defense.


"Agent Echo, I know this isn't the kind of action our service is supposed to be taking, but it also wasn't as outside the lines as you seem to think. The original objective was lost by the time I summoned Hakutenou, and there was a very real risk of me being killed by the terrorists, or worse yet taken alive. As it is, the target was eliminated, and while the secondary objective of instilling dissent within the People's Freedom Union wasn't achieved, we did eliminate an estimated sixty percent of their combat capacity, with zero collateral damage...well, if you're not a plant lover."


Echo groaned.


"It's a measure of how out of kilter I am that I can't even tell you what's wrong with that logic. I'm just going to forward this incident report upstairs to the director and let him worry about it. Just...for the sake of my impending ulcer, promise me one thing, Alphine?"


"What's that?"


"The next time you're in a situation where summoning a fifty-foot bug sounds like a good idea, would you call your girlfriend instead? Divine intervention would be easier to explain."

Spoiler for Author's Notes:

This story was inspired by two things: The title comes from the TV Trope of the same name, which represents the point at which a situation has deteriorated so badly that summoning Godzilla (okay, Hakutenou is more like Mothra, but the principle applies...) wouldn't make things any worse. The other inspiration was the only line worth remembering from the movie Ishtar, when helicopters are on the move and stuff is blowing up and the CIA agent reports, "Sir, this operation is no longer covert."

"Oh crap"

Oh crap indeed ! I like how Lutecia had everything planned out, and that detail makes the reader able to enjoy the explosive fight while still retaining Lutecia's capable, cool points ^^.

"The only reason the local government hasn't lodged a protest is that they're afraid we'll do it again!"

Smart government .

It was fun Dezo, it's nice to see some humour in the Shadows-verse !