Chapter 12: Full Circle
“Signum?”
Languidly, Signum opened her eyes, stopping mid-kata. She lowered her sword and turned to face Hayate, who was hovering hesitantly at the training room door.
Taking her halt in practice as a response, Hayate continued, her tone oddly shy and nervous, “If it’s not too much of a bother…can you come out with me today?”
An eyebrow rose. “Out?”
“To the doctor’s,” Hayate added reluctantly, shifting her hands back on forth on her wheels so that she rolled in place, Zafira standing beside her, his tail expertly out of the way of the moving wheels. “Just my routine check-up, but it’s always better for me to have someone walk with me, in case…anything happens. Is that alright with you?”
“Testarossa?”
“Fate-chan’s busy right now,” Hayate shrugged, smiling. “I think she went off with Nanoha somewhere.”
Signum let out a breath, awkward at the thought of dealing with the well-hidden hurt in Hayate’s voice. She would rather not go, but from the way Hayate was determinedly not mentioning Carim’s name, it would seem that Testarossa’s guess the night before had been correct…an added complication for team cohesion that Signum would have to keep an eye on later. And there was no way Precia would assist. Signum didn’t quite know what to make of Precia, these days.
“Alright.” Signum slid her sword into its sheath, and after Hayate gave her an amused, pointed look, sighed and unbuckled her belt, reluctantly hanging her broadsword on the weapons rack.
She felt a tad superfluous, walking beside Hayate while the other girl pushed herself along merrily, each pump of her arms strong and confident. Hayate had buckled Zafira’s service dog jacket on since they were going out, the yellow material clashing with his fur and his solemn demeanour. He bore it patiently though, even the leash that Signum had never seen Hayate use on him before. However Hayate simply looped the end loosely over her chair handle, evidently trusting him not to run off. Signum watched Hayate out of the corner of her eye, imitating the longsuffering Zafira on the other side of the girl. If the headache still plagued her, Hayate was doing a good job of hiding it.
“You both can stop watching me like that,” Hayate laughed, closing her eyes to bask in the warm sunshine.
“How have you adjusted to the Tome?”
“It’s alright. We’re friends.”
“I’m surprised,” Signum commented.
“What, that the Tome has feelings of its own?” Hayate asked, an emotion bordering annoyance lining her words.
Unoffended, Signum replied simply, “That you’re so close with it already. Yuuno had the Tome for nearly nine years, and he never spoke of the Tome as a friend.”
“I’m surprised,” Hayate echoed Signum’s earlier words, her expression shifting to uneasiness. “Yuuno…he was a good guy, wasn’t he? But from the way Carim was so surprised with me, I didn’t get the feeling that he felt the Tome was anything but…but a book. A tool. If,” Hayate said hastily, “I’m not being presumptuous…I know he was your friend.”
“You’re not.” Signum kept walking quietly for a moment, listening to the barely audible squeaking of rubber on concrete as Hayate paced her, and the clicking of Zafira’s nails as he walked alongside. They were nearing the hospital; Signum could see the sign down the street. There weren’t many pedestrians for some reason that morning, but the traffic zooming by beside them grated on her nerves. She was used to the silence of falling leaves and the sounds of ancient warfare…Signum knew that she had no place here.
Yet for some reason, she had said yes to Hayate’s request.
Meeting Alicia really
had changed her.
“He was a good man.” They crossed the street, walking through the hospital gates. Soon there would be too many people around for them to continue their conversation. Signum cast a glance at the pack attached to the back of Hayate’s wheelchair, knowing that it was inside. “But the Tome chose
you.”
Hayate made to answer, but she was distracted by an approaching doctor. “Dr. Ishida, good morning!”
As they shook hands, Dr. Ishida grinned at Signum, confiding, “I used to give her a hug, but now that she’s older I didn’t want to embarrass her.”
Hayate laughed. “So that’s why the sudden change! I’m not embarrassed at all!” She raised her arms cheerfully for them to start the conversation over and the two of them hugged briefly. After they pulled away Hayate put a hand on Signum’s arm. “Dr. Ishida, this is Signum. She’s a friend.”
“A friend?” Unnervingly, Signum felt herself get scrutinized twice over by the sharp-eyed doctor as the other woman patted Zafira on the head absently. Then Dr. Ishida smiled and said, “A pleasure to meet you, Signum. I’m glad to meet one of Hayate’s friends.” She gave Hayate a look filled with genuine affection. “You’ve only ever brought Fate here with you. Speaking of Fate…”
“She was busy today,” Hayate explained vaguely. “But she’s well. Arf’s been teasing Zafira lately.”
Dr. Ishida chuckled, rubbing Zafira’s ears sympathetically. “Good luck, boy,” she told the cringing Zafira before straightening. “Ready, Hayate?”
Nodding, Hayate turned and said to Signum, “I’ll be a couple of hours, so it’s okay if you want to go somewhere else then come back.”
Signum nodded once, and Hayate followed her doctor down the hall, both of them conversing in tones too low for even Signum to pick up.
Things were easier before, when the only worry Signum had came from an enemy she could fight with her sword. And it was easier, when she had been an ageless drifter through time, watching her comrades fight and die without blinking. Signum was a knight.
A knight fights alone, owing allegiance only to their lord. Was it really so easy to switch the object of her honour?
Ah, Signum thought to herself, her hand touching her hip where her sword usually lay,
but the truth is, you know that you already have.
***
Fate sneezed, turning away from Nanoha to blow into her sleeve. They were sitting on the small bridge in the Japanese garden in her Mother’s backyard, their legs dangling over the edge idly. It was a warm day but there was a hint of a chill wind that blew across the pond water, prompting Nanoha to break off mid-sentence and ask in concern, “Cold?”
“A little,” Fate lied, and felt a guilty thrill when Nanoha’s arm wrapped around her shoulders.
“You should be careful not to catch a chill,” Nanoha chided, holding Fate close to her side to share her body heat.
Fate flushed, but managed to untangle her tongue to say, “I’m sorry…you were mentioning your siblings?”
“Right…” She felt a few tremours flow through Nanoha’s body, and the rise and fall of her ribs as the other girl took a few deep breaths. “Did I tell you that my parents died when I was four?”
“No,” Fate whispered. She had guessed so, even though she and Alicia hadn’t been privy to the details since they had been so little.
“Someone put a bomb under their car.” Even now, Nanoha’s voice was tense with pain. “I didn’t know then, but Mom and Dad were part of the Jewel Seed wars, helping to hold the line while Bardiche was between Angels. I don’t know who killed them, and even though I’ll probably never find out I’ll never stop looking. But that was so long ago, it’s hard for me to remember them.” Nanoha paused. “It’s entirely different for my brother and sister.”
“You came to live with us when we were really little,” Fate said, recalling that time. “Your brother and sister were fighting for our side while Mother raised me and Alicia. They, um…” she hesitated, “…weren’t they killed about ten years ago?”
She felt Nanoha’s breath hitch as she forced back a sob. “Yes. But I didn’t tell you that…that it was my fault.” The whisper dropped even lower, so that Fate had to lean in to catch all her words. “You and Alicia were always together reading books, so I snuck out once.”
Fate winced at Nanoha’s inadvertent triggering of a sharp memory. Yes, Fate remembered studying about the Black Angel with Alicia, before either of them had been selected…when they were still equals in Mother’s eyes. The memories still hurt, reminding Fate of what she had and what she could never have again. But she pushed those memories away impatiently. This was about Nanoha right now.
“How could it have been your fault?” Fate asked gently. “One of the Wardens…Vita—I remember that she and Shamal had been close—
she was the one who killed them, Nanoha.”
“Over me.”
Fate coughed, jerking in surprise. “Pardon?”
It was hard to read Nanoha for a second, she tensed and closed herself off—then she gave in, slumping against Fate and bringing her hand up to her face. Fate could hear her jilted breathing as she whispered, “I tried talking to Vita…I wanted to show her that we didn’t have to be enemies. That we could be friends.” She was silent, and Fate gingerly began to rub her back, not wanting the strong and independent Nanoha to pull away if she came on as too smothering. “Fate…when Vita attacked, I couldn’t do anything. I didn’t know how, I had no power…and so my siblings fought for me.” A tremour passed through Nanoha, ending at her clenched fists. “I know that in this war, I’m just a normal person.”
“You’re extraordinary, Nanoha,” Fate protested. “I mean it seriously…it’s all we can do to do the best that we can, and you do that all the time.” She knew that her words sounded hollow, inane, but Nanoha did unclench one fist to cover Fate’s hand.
“If I had the power to save everyone, it would be my obligation to do it,” Nanoha murmured ardently. “But I don’t—
you do. So I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure that you succeed, Fate, you can count on me. I won’t fail you like—I won’t.”
“You didn’t fail Alicia,” Fate tried to say, but Nanoha’s weary, self-deprecating laugh interrupted her.
“She’s dead. That’s what happens when a bodyguard fails.”
“But you’re not my bodyguard,” Fate said desperately. “You’re my friend. Um…” she flustered, “At least, I hope so? I don’t have many friends.”
She knew; she could feel it—Nanoha smiled at her. “We’re friends.”
They sat in companionable silence for a while, listening to the throaty warble of a pair of frogs somewhere, as well as the underwater fish stirring at the pebbles below. Through their joined hands, Fate could feel Nanoha steeling herself to ask something, and she sighed internally, guessing what the question would be.
“Fate,” Nanoha said finally, her voice hesitant. “I know it seems a little late to ask…and I’m sorry that I haven’t tried to get to know you before…but how did you become blind?”
Fate was used to getting that question at a first meeting—her usual vague, half-lie of an answer wouldn’t work on someone who knew her at all. She turned her head, straightening, the motion pulling her slightly out of her sort-of-embrace with Nanoha. A concerned atmosphere fell over them, displacing the comfort, and Fate took a breath, trying to come up with the words to try and dispel it without bringing up the darkness that threatened in the forgotten receses of her memory. “I was in a car accident. Compared to the others, I was lucky—I was in a coma for three weeks. When I woke up, I was blind.”
“Did you damage—”
“Head injury.” Smiling crookedly, Fate tapped the back of her head. “Right there, I broke both my skull and the window glass on the pavement when the car rolled.”
She heard Nanoha’s intake of breath, making a sympathetic sound. Fate closed her sightless eyes, knowing what Nanoha’s next question was going to be—the dreaded
how. The dark emotions welled up, threatening to spill over and drown her in the past.
“It was my fault. And that’s something I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life.”
A warm hand cupped her cheek and gently pulled Fate’s face around, a shiver passing through the blonde when Nanoha’s fingers brushed her ear. “Fate,” Nanoha whispered, understanding, forgoing the inane platitudes.
“Nanoha,” Fate whispered, trembling, her own hands rising to Nanoha’s shoulders, then stopping, just hovering over Nanoha’s cheeks. “…Can I?”
Nanoha swallowed, her throat working against Fate’s wrist. “Yes,” she croaked out, her breath coming faster.
Tenderly, Fate ran the pads of her fingers over Nanoha’s cheeks, her brows, the corners of her lips, painting for herself an image of Nanoha’s face. She felt a tear slide from her eyes as she mapped the real image of Nanoha onto the one of her memories, slowly replacing the unknown with something so beautiful she wept silently. Fate felt Nanoha’s thumb brush across her cheek, wiping her tears away.
“Why are you crying?” Nanoha asked softly, not really expecting an answer.
Fate breathed in, building a multi-faceted image of Nanoha in her mind. She could see her now; Fate could see her eyes, her lips…
They were breathing each other’s air, the heat from Nanoha’s lips radiating onto Fate’s own—
“Ahem,” a low voice coughed nearby.
They sprang apart, Fate yelping when she struck her head on one of the bridge posts. Her hand jumped to the painful spot, a second jolt sizzling through her when she encountered Nanoha’s hand going for the same place, their hands meeting. Funny, it stopped hurting right away.
“Signum!” Nanoha stammered, then her voice smoothed out, turning amused, almost defiant. “Something you need from us?”
“Are you two…occupied?”
Fate blushed, and scrambled up, hurriedly picking up her white cane. “I actually have somewhere to go…I’ll be back later tonight.” Truthfully, she had been planning on visiting Lindy in the afternoon, but she couldn’t be around Signum without feeling her face go hot-red. Of all people,
Signum caught them about to…to…
“I’ll let you two talk,” Fate stuttered, then tapped her way off as quickly as she could without stumbling. She could hear Nanoha and Signum speaking, but she could still make out what they were saying. Then she wished that she hadn’t.
It was Signum to Nanoha, a phrase Fate was coming to hate and dread.
“Nanoha…she’s
not Alicia.”
But try as she might, Fate couldn’t hear Nanoha’s response. Maybe she hadn’t made one.
***
Carim groaned when her room door clicked open, the door snapping wide. Damn Nanoha and the skills she felt was in her heritage to know…scaling walls, stealth tactics, picking locks…
“Up!” Nanoha ordered, grabbing the end of Carim’s blanket. Carim seized the other end, burying her head into her pillow.
“Leave me alone!”
“It’s unbefitting a companion of the Angel to mope,” Signum said dryly.
“Get up, or else Signum will flip the bed,” Nanoha threatened.
Carim growled but she rose, knowing that Signum would actually do it. Her eyes were so bloodshot she could barely open them, and she felt drained like a wrung dish-rag. Nanoha knelt on her bed and tapped Carim’s head. “Were you doing readings all night?” admonished Nanoha.
“None of your business,” Carim grumbled, stumbling out of bed and into the bathroom, splashing water on her face, trying to look more awake.
“That’s not good for you,” Signum said, her arms crossed and leaning on the doorframe.
“I can handle it,” Carim replied. She wiped the drops off her chin, and said more softly, “It was important.”
Nanoha laced her fingers together and stretched. “I’m sure. Come on.”
“Where?” Carim asked, brushing her hair and picking up her headband.
“Nowhere,” Nanoha said, shrugging. “We’ve got a morning free, just the three of us. It’s been a while since the three of us just spent some time together.”
“Did we need to?” Signum asked, entirely seriously.
“Maybe,” Nanoha said, her expression solemn. “At a crossroads, it’s easy to forget those who’ve been lost along the way.”
After all of them were properly caffeinated with tea or coffee, Carim found herself sitting at the kitchen table with Nanoha, Signum standing by the table, never relaxing. Carim looked at the rest of the empty table, her mood dropping even further. “It really hasn’t been that long, has it?” She said quietly. “It feels like it’s been ages.”
Nanoha smiled sadly, her mind in the past. “No. Yuuno-kun used to always say that the past gets further and further away with every changing day.”
“He was always saying things like that,” Carim sighed, a small smile on her lips. “Actually, Nanoha, I’m surprised you and he became such good friends…you two didn’t work together that much.”
“He and Alicia were both going after a Jewel Seed, and they ended up working together against the Wardens. The three of us worked together in the beginning. Well, the first few times he helped me out with his barriers,” Nanoha said, her eyes hazing over with fond memories. “He was really sweet, and he and Alicia would spend a lot of time talking about different glyph patterns and translocation energy and other weird stuff like that.
“But then I became better, and then Alicia and I watched each others’ backs instead. Actually, you worked the most with him, Carim, on reading the
Prophecy?”
“We did, but that wasn’t all we did,” Carim smiled. “Yuuno was amazing with spells, especially barrier magic and healing. He’s one of the best in the world, he told me once. It’s too bad I couldn’t pick those up from him huh?” She laughed sheepishly. “I learned a lot of attack spells from him—theoretical, you see, since that’s not his specialty, but he’s a good teacher. Before, all I was good at was mostly just reading my tarot cards. And…that wasn’t something I was particularly proud of, at that time.”
“You weren’t?” Signum asked, apathically curious.
Carim looked at her in surprise, then remembered. “Oh, you weren’t there when they…Alicia came to me when I was at my very worst.”
“You mentioned.” Signum frowned, pondering on something. “She came to me when I was about to be killed.”
“You mean you were about to let them kill you,” Nanoha corrected, her voice sad. “You could have fought them off easily.”
“I could have,” agreed Signum. “But there was nothing left for me. You were there, too.”
Carim looked at Nanoha, who glanced at Signum for permission before explaining, “Signum was a mercenary then, and her employer meant to kill her to save his money. But Alicia beat him up and offered Signum a place on our team.”
“I’m surprised, Signum. You don’t seem like the type to just give up.”
“It was before then,” Signum answered, bowing her head, strands of her pink hair wisping across her eyes. Finally, a deeper, emotional tone entered her voice as she said absently, “I’ve lived a lot longer than either of you.”
“A geriatric?” Carim teased, but she sighed, her chiding tone directed at herself. “I didn’t do much better.” She touched her forearm, tracing the thin scars on her skin, having worked through her shame long ago. “And I only had a fraction of the life you had,” she tried to joke.
Nanoha sipped her coffee silently. Carim followed suit, and Signum pulled out a chair and sat down as well. She took the cup Carim passed her, all three of them quiet and at their emotional limit.
How ironic, Nanoha thought bitterly, that they started off talking about Yuuno and yet they always ended up talking about Alicia. “It seems unfair…that we remember Alicia all the time, and not Yuuno. I don’t think I even have a picture of him.”
“She saved our lives.” Carim’s hands trembled, but she steadied them against the table and picked up her cup, staring into the dregs at the curved bottom. “We shouldn’t forget her…right?”
“How can we forget Alicia?” Signum said quietly, closing her blue eyes. “Every time we see Fate, we are reminded.”
***
Chrono marched up to Amy’s computer room and rapped smartly on the door. “We’re going out,” he told her, taking her by the wrist and marching back out, causing Amy to trot after him in surprise at his sudden interruption.
“Where are we going?” She asked, shifting his grip until they were holding hands. Chrono tightened his grip, brushing his navy hair out of his face impatiently with the other when they stepped out into the cold wind.
“I’m buying you lunch.”
Amy giggled. “I’m honoured…it takes you a week to get enough work hours to buy us lunch.”
“Amy!”
“While it takes me ten minutes at my computer to do the same…”
“
Amy!” Chrono grumbled, but he didn’t bother with scowling anymore. She would only laugh harder at him. Which she did anyways, her giggles ringing pleasantly in his ear. He let out a breath and muttered, “It’s been a while since you laughed like that.”
Amy smiled at him and put a finger on his forehead. “It’s been a while since you stopped having a wrinkle here too.”
Quickly, Chrono blurted out, “Is this really okay?”
Amy blinked, then looked up at him, puzzled. “What do you mean, Chrono?”
They had arrived at a noodle house, but neither of them made a move to walk inside. Other patrons glared at them for blocking the doorway, but Chrono’s height and serious demeanour had them meekly edge around the couple silently. He kept his eyes on Amy, not caring about what other people were doing or thinking.
“Is it really okay? That you’re part of this war because of me.”
Realization flooded into Amy’s face, which was quickly replaced by a warm affection that made Chrono fall in love with her all over again. “Yes,” Amy replied, smiling at him, her hands reaching up to cup his face. “It’s because of you that I’m part of this war.”
He couldn’t look away from her eyes, and was only dimly aware of his mouth moving. “You don’t have a wish of your own?” Chrono already knew the answer, but he never felt quite sure.
Honestly, Amy answered him. “What would I need to wish for?”
“I just want those I love to be happy.” He saw Amy tilt her head, thinking on his answer. Before, Chrono had told her that he wanted to create a world where his father had never died. She was smart; she could put together the pieces.
“Are you doing this for your mother?” Amy asked.
“Yes. But it’s not just for her,” Chrono said, mildly defensive. “It’s not fair that my father died so young. I want to know him.”
Amy didn’t answer, just tugged him inside the restaurant. He followed her silently, letting her speak to the waiter while he spun a spoon around his hands. She ordered then looked at Chrono, who pointed to something random on the menu and stared at the waiter until he shivered and excused himself.
“Is she okay?”
“What?” Amy startled.
“My mother. Is she doing okay?” He gave her a look. “I know she cooks our food and sends it to you. Is she alright?”
Amy gave him a look, not as hard as she normally would have but still sharp enough. “Why don’t you call her and ask?”
Chrono dropped his spoon and sat back, crossing his arms. “Amy.”
“Want to try some of my lamb noodle soup?”
Reacting automatically to the sudden question, Chrono leaned forward and took the spoonful—people can tease him about being whipped all they want, he was the one with the wife. While his mouth was full, Amy said, “We’re all already a family, Chrono. I know you know it. So do what you need to do, and we’ll all be by your side.”
“But are you happy?” Chrono was embarrassed at how small his voice sounded, but he clenched his jaw, waiting. Amy’s look softened, and she covered Chrono’s hand with her own.
“I’m with you,” she answered simply, then went back to eating her noodles.
Chrono looked at her, fondly exasperated, then shoved a mouthful of his own dish into his mouth. His tongue burned and he coughed, sputtering while Amy laughed at him. She teased him about ordering the super-spicy noodle soup, and Chrono gulped down a glassful of water, feeling himself relax for the first time in a long while.
He wished…but he had to see things through.
He owed it to the dead.
***
Arf nipped at Fate’s wrist, jolting Fate out of her thoughts. She realized that she had paused in her brushing, and so continued running the brush through Arf’s thick fur, working out the tangles gently. The repetive motion calmed them both, Fate’s hands spending more time ruffling Arf’s fur affectionately than combing.
“
You love me, don’t you Arf?” Fate murmured, feeling Arf licking her knuckles and hearing her tail thumping against the floor, a low whine in her throat. Scratching Arf’s neck, Fate laughed when her dog tried to burrow into the warm gap between her arm and side, nearly forgetting about her melancholy. They tumbled down, Arf seizing the chance to misbehave and lick Fate’s face enthusiastically.
“Arf!” Fate wrestled with the heavy weight lying over her chest, chuckling. She hadn’t had time to play with Arf lately, and so she allowed herself to indulge in a childish romp with Arf, the two of them panting and rolling on the floor playfully.
Even through their noise Fate heard a soft creak in the wooden floor as someone paused in a soundless walk.
“You two look like you’re having fun,” Nanoha said, her tone light and amused.
“We’re—” Fate yelped when Arf suddenly wiggled free and dashed across the room.
Nanoha shouted, and Fate heard her fall.
“Nanoha!” Concerned, Fate scrambled over, and grabbed Arf’s tail. A rumbling growl resonated through Arf’s body, which turned into a whine when Fate tugged firmly, but gently, on her tail. “Stop it Arf!” She managed to separate Arf and Nanoha, and shook Arf by the collar. It was hard to do, as Arf wasn’t exactly a small dog, but Fate had been building her strength recently. “Bad girl!” Arf wilted, whimpering. “Go find Hayate.” Fate pointed at the door sternly, resisting the urge to pat her dog on the head to take the sting out of her scolding, and barely winning.
When she heard Arf’s drooping steps click away, Fate turned to Nanoha, red with embarrassment. “I’m sorry about that. Arf’s just really protective of me…”
“I can’t blame her,” Nanoha admitted, sounding chagrined. “I wasn’t really nice to you before, after all.”
“But even so, she could have hurt you…”
“That’s alright. It’s just an ankle. I’ve got two of them, after all,” Nanoha said lightly, clasping Fate’s hand before Fate could touch her and see for herself if Nanoha was injured. Fate paused, then laughed, amazed.
“What?” Nanoha demanded, puzzled at Fate’s reaction.
“Sorry…” Fate blushed. “It’s the first time you joked around with me.”
“I…” Nanoha cut herself off, switching her train of thought but Fate still caught the pause. “…I suppose it is.”
“Oh.” Fate knew that she was being unfair…but she couldn’t help always jumping to the same conclusions. When they were younger, Fate could never compare with Alicia. It had taken her her whole life to come to terms with that fact, and now to have something that she wanted so badly to be hers and not theirs, Fate found it hard to remain kind inside. How long was she going to keep suspecting Nanoha’s every hesitation?
She’s trying. Anyways, how would you know if you were just a replacement? And a nastier, weaker part of Fate’s mind whispered,
Would you even care?
“Let’s celebrate!” Nanoha said brightly, taking one of Fate’s hands warmly into hers. Thrown by the sudden change in Nanoha’s mood, Fate meekly let herself be pulled along, only stumbling a little over the base of the sliding door before Nanoha stopped and placed Fate’s hand in the crook of her elbow instead. “I’ll show you how to bake cookies!”
Fate promptly felt her whole face burn with heat as she coughed, speechless, and tried to wave off Nanoha’s confused questions about what was wrong while controlling the sudden flush that blazed through her whole body.
“It’s nothing, really…”
“Come on, Fate, tell me!”
***
Hayate fought to push her chair over the loose gravel of the garden path, throwing her full strength into turning the wheels in the sliding rocks. Her strength hadn’t gone yet, so Hayate proudly rolled herself onto the bridge in the middle of the backyard garden, turning herself sideways in the middle to prevent accidental rolling in either direction. Even though she knew that Zafira would stop her bodily if it happened, she didn’t want to roll over his tail by accident when he was trying to help her.
It was so peaceful here. Ironic, how much Hayate disliked Precia for hurting Fate so terribly, yet Hayate had never seen a place she wanted to be at more. She breathed in, humming tunelessly as she let her head fall back onto the railing. Curled up in front of her, Zafira made a few contented munching motions with his jaws, his big ears twitching in the breeze.
Signum had seemed oddly reluctant to believe Hayate’s assurances that she was alright, finally leaving only when Hayate explicitedly told her that she wanted some quiet time on her own. Either Signum was becoming less indifferent, or Hayate was losing her poker face…
A flash of light appeared from an upstairs window.
Hayate sat up, frowning. It had appeared and vanished too quickly for her to make out the colour, but she couldn’t imagine Fate or Signum using their battle-magic indoors, and while it could have been Carim, something told Hayate that it was someone else.
Precia?
What was she doing in her workroom that required magic? Hayate squinted, and saw the flash again, this time reflecting off of a glass surface from indoors. She had worked out that the Testarossas all had some latent magic that Bardiche amplified and added to, but the impression Hayate had gotten from Fate was that they could only cast very basic shields and maybe a few other spells. Hayate had only ever seen that kind of brightness when Fate had cast her Scythe Slash or when they teleported.
Grinding her wheels against the wood with a wince, Hayate turned and let herself roll down the arch of the bridge, pushing herself along until she reached the smoother driveway. She bumped the door frame on her way in, and heard a
thump as something fell out of her bag behind her.
“Crap.” Manuvering to turn in the door, Hayate began to reach down but was beat to it by Zafira, who picked up the Tome carefully in his jaws and put it in her lap. “Thanks boy.” She rubbed his ears, ignoring the sudden rush of dizziness from her quick jerk earlier. The impact of hitting the floor had knocked a few tucked-in sheets loose from where Hayate had put them to prevent creasing.
“Hayate…I’m so sorry.”
Hayate tapped the sheets against her lap to square them up evenly, keeping her motions slow to prevent shaking.
“I knew it would happen one day. It’s no one’s fault, sensei…Do you have the documents again? I’ll have to file our taxes soon.”
She lifted the heavy cover and laid the documents inside again, shutting the Tome with a snap.
“I’ll get you the rest by tomorrow.”
“Thank you. Sensei…I’m sorry, but I have a few things I’m busy with lately…can you please contact Mr. Graham for me? I’m sure we should go over my accounts and such.”
Absently, Hayate noted Arf’s sudden dejected arrival, and smiled distractedly as Zafira broke his dignity to lick Arf’s cheek assuringly, the two dogs nuzzling each other as if sharing exasperating master stories.
“Hayate, I won’t lie…it looks bad, but you still have a chance. You don’t need to review your will so soon.”
“I don’t need to review it, I’m still leaving my things to you and Fate-chan,” Hayate grinned, ignoring Dr. Ishida’s pained wince.
Hayate wheeled by the kitchen, hearing quiet talking from inside. She peeked inside, and caught one glimpse of Fate mixing a bowl of cookie batter, flour dusted liberally on her sleeves and blushing lightly while Nanoha’s arms were around her showing her physically how to mix properly, before deciding wisely to move on.
Well, at least Fate was having fun.
Entering her room, Hayate shut the door, mentally apologizing to Zafira, who would whine and panic when he came by and realized that he couldn’t get in. She pulled herself onto the bed and lay down, already feeling her strength fading like the end of a long sick day. Holding the Tome on her chest, Hayate closed her eyes and opened the book.
White pain and lights flashed behind her eyelids, and Hayate gasped before she felt herself floating in the Tome’s sub-space. She could feel something flowing out of her at the same time as something warm shone over her skin, sinking into her shaking muscles and soothing the spasms, and the pain in her skull eased to a throb. She opened her eyes.
Would you show me your last master?
Hayate had to know if her theory was right…Yuuno had magic.
And she didn’t.
A moaning croon sounded in Hayate’s bones, and she felt her heart break as the Tome mourned, with the sadness of a father when he couldn’t protect his little girl anymore.
Please, show me.
She had only heard descriptions of her predecessor, that Yuuno was a kind young man with long blonde hair and gentle green eyes.
That was
not who she saw in the Tome’s flashback.
Brilliant blue eyes narrowed in concentration as the beautiful girl flew backwards, snapping Bardiche out sideways and sending her black cape and long dark hair flipping into the air in a silken explosion. Her other arm cradled a familiar brown book, the insigna glowing white and lining Bardiche’s scythe blade with a pale gleam.
Then something shining and long struck her in the chest, knocking Bardiche and the Tome out of the Angel’s arms alongside a shower of red droplets that fell out of the sky.
“NO!”
Blood pooled at the Angel’s lips but she was smiling, sadly, loving, and her hand rose to touch her heart, then reached out as if searching for its pair. But the light faded from her eyes and she dropped—but something was holding her up now.
“No, no! Why did you do that?”
The scene was receding from view as the Tome tumbled through the sky, falling towards the unyielding ocean below. The Angel’s body hung overhead—two figures, so close together they looked like one.
“NOOO!”
A blue explosion fireworked across the sky, streaking sapphire comets into the blooding sunset.
Hayate watched the flashback fade, and she wanted to ask a question before realizing that she already knew the answer.
The First Angel was your last master. Her companion couldn’t have used you to bring her back, could she?
She didn’t need confirmation. With a sharp jewelled pain in her chest, Hayate asked slowly,
You know what you offered me in the beginning…
Through the darkness Hayate saw an image of herself, smiling and energetic, laughing at some joke that an out-of-sight person had said. She looked older.
So if I wanted…can I?
And the darkness fired through with silver flashes, and a calm certainty filled Hayate’s heart. She laid a hand on the Tome against her chest.
She could. There was a price—there always was. Sealing the Tome (
forever?) meant blinding Fate and the other Angels to the
Divine Prophecy that could help them win over the Wardens (
could they win otherwise?). But if she didn’t…
Hayate let the Tome’s world slide away, blinking until the white ceiling of her borrowed room appeared again. The Tome felt incredibly heavy on her chest but the pounding in her head was worse, enough that Hayate put a hand over her mouth to prevent herself from dry-heaving.
All it would take was one wish. One spell to kill the monster that lurked inside her, waiting for that day where it can consume all of her that was left after the first time. She deserved this, didn’t she? She’s never done anything bad to anyone, and to have a miracle fall into her hands, subservient to her will…
A rapid, excited knock at her door made Hayate sit up, her strong abdominal muscles barely working enough to get her upright. “Hayate?” Fate’s voice came through the wood, low and husky with elation. “I’ve got the most unbelievable news.”
“Come in,” Hayate called out in amusement, setting the Tome on the bedside table. Fate opened the door, using more memory than her white cane to make her way over to the bed, sitting down at the foot of it. “Where’s Arf and Zafira?”
“Having dinner,” Fate answered, leaning her cane against the bedframe. “Arf is sulking and Zafira seems depressed, so I thought I’d let them spend some time together and eat something.”
“That’s fine,” Hayate said. She shuffled backwards until she could lean against the wall, bringing one hand up to rub her temple. “So, what’s the news?”
“I think that Nanoha…um…” Fate began blushing, but her dull eyes were bright and her entire face was animated, as if her happiness was something physical that over-flowed from her every motion. “Well, I don’t think that I’m quite stuck in the
unrequited love category anymore…”
“That’s great!” Hayate exclaimed, an obligatory response but she
did truly feel happy, grabbing Fate’s hands and squeezing. “I admit, I saw you guys
baking cookies earlier…” she leered, grinning as Fate went red at the double-entendre.
“She’s not really saying anything, but um…she’s not exactly being subtle in her actions…” Fate hesitated, uncertainty crossing her face. “At least, I don’t think so…am I seeing things?”
“I think you see more clearly than most of us, Fate-chan,” Hayate teased, but she squeezed Fate’s fingers reassuringly. “I’m sure that you’re right.”
“Where were you today?” Fate asked suddenly, mildly puzzled.
Hayate was stung for a moment, but then she remembered that she had changed her appointment so it wasn’t Fate’s fault that she hadn’t known. Thank god for that, if Fate knew…“I went out for a bit with Signum.”
“Did you?” Fate mused, her tone slightly apologetic as she tried to think back to the morning. Her hand tightened on Hayate’s. “Something wrong?”
“Nothing,” lied Hayate. “I’m so happy for you and Nanoha, that’s great news!”
Fate’s brows furrowed still for a brief moment, then she smiled, her shy and warm half-smile reminding Hayate of her long ago crush on her friend. “Thanks, it’s amazing…oh, I just remembered, she asked me to hang out with her outside tonight…”
“Go on,” Hayate grinned. “I’m not offended that you’re ditching me. I’m probably going to sleep a little early today, I didn’t get much sleep last night.” She watched Fate practically float over to the door, forgetting her cane and doubling back with a sheepish grin. “Um, good night,” Fate blushed.
“Have a good time! Turn off the lights for me please?” Hayate called, and Fate flicked them off before closing the door until only a crack of the hallway light seeped in. Breathing lightly, Hayate turned to look at the vague outline of the Tome beside her, seeing more and more of the arcane symbol on the cover as her eyes adjusted to the dark.
Things seemed to finally be going well for Fate. It was near the end of the war, and with one Jewel Seed left, and everyone’s hopes banking on her…yet Fate still managed to smile. She was Fate’s friend, her best friend.
Hayate smiled sadly and with ironic humour. “I guess you’re safe now, Carim,” she whispered to herself in the dark.
2010-04-18, 20:12
Author
, and I wanted to throw that in there to try and keep fleshing out the Wardens' motivations.
.....
