Pregnancy Advice

[Neki Ecko]

Well, first of all I just find out that my wife is 5 weeks preganent right now and I am very happy and very nervous at the same time since this will be my first kid. So any of the AS community that has been through this, what is some good advice that yall can get me that I can use to get through this.

[Vexx]

Find some good books on child development and psychology. Don't over-protect them - they learn better getting a few nicks and bumps. Show them what you like to do and be interested in what they like to do and you might grow a good friend or two in 20 years...

Oh, and you'll make a lot of mistakes no matter what.

[Shinoto]

Let em loose into the wild. If you try to house break em, they are going to grow up spoiled.

[SaintessHeart]

My mum is a baby-sitter and I am a socially AND mentally dysfunctional child of hers (equivalent to my mum having more contingency plans than the US DoD). I will ask her for advice when I get back home.

[Mystique]

Here was I thinking it was a female OPer asking for advice in regards to herself.
I guess you're looking for all the fathers of Animesuki (better topic title?) for advice and general support, in which I'll go back to lurskville, lol.

I will say this much though.
She's carrying your child, and is gonna go through labour for you at the risk of her life and your baby's (naturally, if it all goes well, then the better).

For the last 3 months (Sorry, I intially misread 5 weeks as 5 months)
The last trimester, she'll feel the heaviest and most cumbersome perhaps, so things like:
- offering/giving massages for her tired muscles,
- helping around the house from time to time,
- knowing how much you appreciate and love her as there may be somedays when she's be feeling down.
(Or overly emotional) >.>
Checking out when the baby kicks often; at 6 months, it's done with all body parts and uses the last 3 months to simply gain weight and grow to a healthy size, so if he/she's is quite the character, she'll be feeling that pretty soon.

And finally, come delivery time get ready to give lots of support and no fainting at seeing the blood/placenta, okay?
(Pardon my tease for the last comment, lol)

Seeing as it's not even 3 months old at present, there's not much you can do save to read up as Vexx said.
9 months of pregnancy is a fascinating world, have fun checking it out and reading up on it.
(read on it mainly to quell your fears and nerves, not to invent new paranoid thoughts, okay?)

[LeoXiao]

Spend lots of time with them, and never do things you don't want them doing in life near them. And don't try to dumb things down for them too much (like, don't buy them baby toys, or books designed for toddlers), or else they will grow up with the idea that society is going to cater to them. I'm not a parent, this is what my mom tells me. But I trust her.

[Vexx]

Frankly, I started off reading my favorite stories to them ... which included a steady diet of Calvin&Hobbes

Ditto what Mystique said about future momma though.... and you'll probably be getting the bones of your hand crushed and threats to fillet you for doing this to her.

[Mystique]

Originally Posted by LeoXiao

Spend lots of time with them, and never do things you don't want them doing in life near them. And don't try to dumb things down for them too much (like, don't buy them baby toys, or books designed for toddlers), or else they will grow up with the idea that society is going to cater to them. I'm not a parent, this is what my mom tells me. But I trust her.

Eeeh?
Don't buy them baby toys or books designed for toddlers when they are babies... that will grow into toddlers? O.o
The colours, the fabrics, the sounds in it are designed to aid human growth and development.
(My librarian self is ranting now, seeing as I spent a good majority in the children's library at work during 2008)
The materials used as well are deliberate, so when they do feel like throwing, chewing a book to death or drooling all over it, it'll survive.
Reading novels for adults and classics is purely fine, but the fun and design of kids books are just as important too. :\

Originally Posted by Vexx

Ditto what Mystique said about future momma though.... and you'll probably be getting the bones of your hand crushed and threats to fillet you for doing this to her.

You know... I was being nice and deliberately omitted that from my post and just left the 'blood/placenta' part in there xD

Oh here's the best advice of all.
Seeing as we all have been brought up differently, with different methods and exposed to different things, we're gonna have conflicting advice in here and many different perspectives.
You'll probably hear tons of experiences over the next 8 months too and it'll feel like a net of TMI pulling you under and drowning you.
What to do at times like that?
Believe in yourself, your wife and your own abilities.
All the books in the world can't prepare a human for this 100% or deal with unforseen events, but your own sense of good responsibility and judgement will work wonders for the child

In other words, ignore us. (to a degree, lol)

[LeoXiao]

Reading novels for adults and classics is purely fine, but the fun and design of kids books are just as important too. :\

nah, that's retarded (sry just my opinion). It just distance little kids and puts them in their own little bubble. then their whole life they'll be running around looking for some unrealistic dream-reality. many people and even my nation as a whole has this problem.

rankly, I started off reading my favorite stories to them ... which included a steady diet of Calvin&Hobbes

This man is wise. Not only is Calvin & Hobbes an excellent literary choice, the parent himself enjoys the story, so this actions work toward diminishing the generation gap.

[qwertyuiopz]

this is the worst place to ask

[Mystique]

Originally Posted by LeoXiao

nah, that's retarded (sry just my opinion). It just distance little kids and puts them in their own little bubble. then their whole life they'll be running around looking for some unrealistic dream-reality. many people and even my nation as a whole has this problem.

Cause babies (at first) and children do not grow up and mature as people at all, learning more about the outside world over the first 10 years of their lives, from having been read and played with kids books at ages 0-3
Well to each their own, I guess each culture/nation has their own ways of raising humans and what works best for them.

[Neki Ecko]

Originally Posted by qwertyuiopz

this is the worst place to ask

Maybe you are right, but sometimes Books doesnt give you the whole scoop about this, that is one of the reason why I ask around here, so I get it some advice and information from those who has experienced it already. Because I learn alot already about this about not smoking(one of her bad habits) and limit on caffeine and those mood swings

Thanks for everybody who has comment about this, and I like to hear more about it, so I can be prepared for the coming months (until January).

[Thingle]

check your bank account then decide whether to keep it or not.

[Daniel E.]

Originally Posted by qwertyuiopz

this is the worst place to ask

Why?

Shay recently became a father and many other regulars here also have kids. So yeah, many folks here can certainly give first hand advice.

[Mystique]

Originally Posted by Neki Ecko

Maybe you are right, but sometimes Books doesnt give you the whole scoop about this, that is one of the reason why I ask around here, so I get it some advice and information from those who has experienced it already. Because I learn alot already about this about not smoking(one of her bad habits) and limit on caffeine and those mood swings

Thanks for everybody who has comment about this, and I like to hear more about it, so I can be prepared for the coming months (until January).

Well first 3 months, are mainly actions on her end to be honest.
Not much to do except live life as normal?

The generic:
No smoking
No alcohol
Healthy diet
Exercise
Regular check ups

All all a given, but sadly not all women follow or adhere to them, forgetting that it's no longer their own bodies they're damaging but the physical development of another life in an attempt to be born healthy.

As for the mood swings...
Depends on the woman, but for some reason I can't help but feel that women in the West play it up waaaaay more than many other nations of other continents.
A lot of women just simply get on with it and deal with the good and bad as it comes without too much fuss.

Eitherway it's early days, so don't worry/stress too much about it.
Take each month/stage as it comes, keep yourself informed and enjoy it as much as you can. ^^
All the best~

[Neki Ecko]

Originally Posted by Thingle

check your bank account then decide whether to keep it or not.

Check your bank account???
Money is important but not keeping it because you dont have no money is wrong imo, if I wasnt in the Military I will find me a job to help out, no matter what.

[HayashiTakara]

As far as your wife is concern, just be there for her and be as tolerant as humanly possible with the mood swings.

I personally hate the concept of using a book to raise a child. Go with your instincts on this one. Allowing the child to become his/her own individual is the best gift you can give him/her. Also, don't try to be a friend. You're the parent and he/she is the child, and it should stay that way. Discipline appropriately, show the child that there is a consequence to every action. Many children this day and age grow up without proper discipline, so they think they can get away with anything. And one last thing, make sure your child knows how to treat their elders, it makes me cry inside as to how kids nowadays treat their elders.

[jedinat]

Don't say things if you don't plan on backing it up; so be careful what you say. I think kids need that, something grounding in their parents.

[SaintessHeart]

Well I am not home yet but here is some advice I overheard from her once in a while......

NOTE : I am using "it" because I believe in the existence of LGBT tendencies at young ages, caused by neurotic disabilities that impairs perception. Besides, how am I going to relate to a male and female at the same time?

1. Don't smoke, drink or spew vulgarities in front of the child, even if it is a baby. I had a friend whose mother claims that his first word is "F***" (his dad is an army Commando, so that might be the case......). Even at a age less than one year, it already is rapidly learning and adapting to its surrounding.

2. Keep encouraging it. Don't put the child down with stuff like "It will never work" or "give up". There has been a research showing that such acts can increase the chances of the child becoming suicidally inclined in the later part of its life.

3. Try to agree with your spouse. Don't argue in front of your kids. If you do, PLEASE do not cop out on your argument with sweeping statements and unsubstantiated claims.

4. No MTV. If it is better, don't let it watch TV. That is my parents' belief that the TV can cause brain damage.

5. Let it learn music at around 3-4. Research has shown that children with musical background tend to learn and perform better elsewhere in life.

6. Don't let it pick food at young age. When necessary, force feed it vegetarian.

7. Take your child out whenever there is free time in your hands. Let it mingle with other kids so it doesn't become sociophobic.

I will ask more when I go home. But remember, take whatever I have said with a pinch of salt. The worst years in my life are my teenage ones when my parents are busy dealing with the Asian Economic Crisis and 911 that they do not have time for me. I was often bullied in school and I bully others in turn to make myself feel better. I still remember when my dad lost his job and had to BEG for one, and my mother has to give up her tailoring hobby for extra income.

My life is a total disaster because I lost family support due to my inquisitive nature, short attention span and my addiction for learning new things, amongst many other circumstances. What I can ask for the creator of this thread to do is to love and support his/her child no matter what its endeavor is, or whether it is dysfunctional (inclusive of LGBT, sociophobic, mentally challenged, physically challenged, etc) or normal. I am sure each person has their own strength and weakness, it is how we capitalise and build on it.

I am dysfunctional. So what?

[Narona]

Originally Posted by Mystique

The generic:
No smoking
No alcohol
Healthy diet
Exercise
Regular check ups

All all a given, but sadly not all women follow or adhere to them, forgetting that it's no longer their own bodies they're damaging but the physical development of another life in an attempt to be born healthy.

So true.

Originally Posted by HayashiTakara

As far as your wife is concern, just be there for her and be as tolerant as humanly possible with the mood swings.

I personally hate the concept of using a book to raise a child. Go with your instincts on this one. Allowing the child to become his/her own individual is the best gift you can give him/her. Also, don't try to be a friend. You're the parent and he/she is the child, and it should stay that way.

That's what my parents say too. I am very close to my parents but they always make it clear, "we are not your friends, we are your parents" is what they alway said, even nowadays.

Discipline appropriately, show the child that there is a consequence to every action. Many children this day and age grow up without proper discipline, so they think they can get away with anything. And one last thing, make sure your child knows how to treat their elders, it makes me cry inside as to how kids nowadays treat their elders.

I think Discipline is important too. It also reminds me some debates we have in France. Whether or not it is good to give a slap to your kid when she/he does something very bad (like playing with fire, or insulting you).


@Neki Ecko: My best wishes for your baby, you, and your wife. I hope there'll be no problem with her pregnancy . Love him/her. Protect them