2011-02-12, 16:57 | Link #8101 | |
Dietrich fan #681675
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Apparently some people believe they have the right to snoop on their significant other's phone to see if they suspect something is up. I would trust the other person enough not to have to do what is basically an unwarranted search. Just wondered what everyone else thinks.
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2011-02-12, 17:13 | Link #8102 | |
❙❙❙❙❙❙❙❥
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Snooping around on my phone is an easy way to tick me off really good. I don't mind if my boyfriend takes calls for me or reads messages coming in, while I'm gone showering or something. But he needs my permission first. If I don't allow him to look into my mailbox or anywhere else, he really shouldn't do that. I don't snoop around either. Respecting each other's privacy is pretty important imo and if you really feel like you need to snoop around you don't trust me. And that's something I can't stand. It's okay to go through things if you have the permission but checking messages and calls secretly is just kick-worthy. "Say who's that Mike texting you?" "A former coworker, honey *strangles*" |
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2011-02-12, 19:16 | Link #8103 | |
Test Drive
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2011-02-12, 19:48 | Link #8104 |
For me the bell tolls
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I agree with you @RadiantBeam, except that some people are chronically suspicious and nervous about being betrayed, but constantly asking your partner about it could be seen as mistrust, and break a couple up. If you want to relieve your nervousness without straining the relationship, I can see why some people would do it
I'm not saying it's ok to steal someones phone and look through the messages, but I could understand why someone would want to do it discretely without making an issue. Having said that though, I would hope that anyone I'm with I can trust fully
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2011-02-12, 20:13 | Link #8106 |
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: right there
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I also agree. I firmly believe trust and honesty are essential in any relationship and detest snooping. Open and honest communication is the key and if you don't believe your partner is giving you that then you probably shouldn't be together. Also, by not respecting their privacy, you are demonstrating a severe lack of faith in the relationship. No good can come from this.
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2011-02-12, 21:02 | Link #8107 | |
Test Drive
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2011-02-12, 21:29 | Link #8109 | |
PolyPerson!
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Northern VA
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Yeah, hubby and I know one another's email passwords; there's been times we'll need something and can't get to email ("Hey, my brother sent us pics, go nab them & print them out please" and the like). do we snoop? nah, why bother? I mean, he can just ask me whatever's on his mind, etc. I have to say, him sneaking around and looking through my phone instead of just asking me would break us up faster than him asking haha
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2011-02-12, 21:45 | Link #8110 |
Banned
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Suspicion will kill a relationship just as good as someone actively cheating.
Having said that, there are some very good cheaters out there, and it's entirely possible that you'll never find out unless you look. The key is to know your partner and have specific ground rules set. For instance, if I go out, I'd let her know where I was going and approximately how long I might be gone, and make sure she has a way to contact me if she needs to. The main purpose being in case of an emergency, and if I'm gone too long, she can check up to see if I'm alright. But the side benefit is that it would allay suspicion. The other major ground is to be someone who doesn't blow up and get made and make rash decisions upon an emotional moment. If I blow up at little things, people will be less likely to want to come to me with the truth. But if I cultivate an air that I can calmly and rationally discuss anything, then if she did something like have a one-night stand affair or were interested in someone else, she'd know she could come to me without me blowing up at her. This can be hard for some to do, because humans are generally more emotional by nature. But I find the it pays off, because people will honestly and bluntly tell me things, knowing I won't get upset at them. Hell, I have a couple of friends that have had people blow them off because of various reasons. But I haven't yet, no matter how whiny or bad they might become at times (and they realize this, but are more emboldened because they know I won't abandon them). In other news, in addition to the girl that's been flirting with me through IM's (although I haven't really responded to it), I've got someone at work who has been showing interest. Heard she's been asking a bit about me and she's real friendly towards me, but I didn't think anything of it. But she's asked me to lunch, and I thought, "why not?" Not sure anything will come of it, especially since I am very wary of getting involved with anyone, but I'll go with the flow for now, not really encouraging anything. I don't want to lead her on, but I don't want to outright ask her intentions, either, in case she really is just being friendly. At this point, I think the most I could would be a short fling, anyway. |
2011-02-13, 01:46 | Link #8111 |
#1 Akashiya Moka Fan
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I have a question for y'all; or at least, I want to see what you guys have to say
Back in my first post on this thread (quite a few pages ago), I explained my current situation: dated a co=worker, had a lot of good times, but we eventually broke up because apparently things that were extremely private matters were getting out in the open. And even despite the break-up, we still have been working together, because finding a job around here... hard as all hell. Anyways, it's been about 7 months since we broke up, and at this point, we're pretty good friends again. Hell, the other night I was even invited over to her place for the first time since the break-up, mostly to just talk and hang out as friends. Now tonight, I heard a rumor that. because she's going to be transferring to another section of where we work, that she is starting to very slowly consider perhaps get back together with me (in about a month)... she's had a couple relationships since me, and I also understand that the relationship she was in with me was either her second or third longest. Now, this is something I heard secondhand, and so I'm still very skeptical of it actually being true. But assuming that this is more than just a rumor, and in a month's time time it turns out to be real, should I even consider getting getting back with her, or should I go the route of "an ex is an ex for a reason"? About the biggest thing that's changed since then is that I've learned to keep certain information to myself, and also to really listen to people. As the immediate moment, I would like to hang out with her as a friends more often... hell, she even said that myself and another co-worker who she's very close friends with (this one is also a guy) are her Valentines for this year (a day that I also say is really Singles Awareness Day). Then there's the fact that she said "hey, whether I have a boyfriend or not, if you want to just hang as friends at my house, you just need to ask" So... what do y'all think of this?
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2011-02-13, 02:50 | Link #8112 | |
Frandle & Nightbag
Join Date: Oct 2009
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Once you know that, then it's possible to proceed in a bit more detail.
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2011-02-13, 04:06 | Link #8113 | ||
Senior Guest
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Athens (GMT+2)
Age: 35
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2011-02-13, 04:15 | Link #8114 |
Pretentious moe scholar
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Age: 37
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Damn... now I'm feeling bad about trolling my anime/mahjong about how I was sharing a massive piece of chocolate cake with my girlfriend while surrounded by male nerds last time we went for dinner. In retrospect, it might have been a bad time of year.
I suppose I could always point out that its not like I have a harem or anything.
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2011-02-13, 09:30 | Link #8115 | |
NYAAAAHAAANNNNN~
Join Date: Nov 2007
Age: 35
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Been celebrating it since 2000.
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2011-02-13, 17:43 | Link #8117 |
Asuki-tan Kairin ↓
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Fürth (GER)
Age: 43
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*touches your computer* Err, don't mind me.. I am just going to verify the transitive closure of your statement. That brings me to the most important question: what happens, when you touch it?
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Tags |
advice, break-ups, dating, dating after divorce, divorce, happiness, love, pairings, single dad, single mom |
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