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Old 2016-07-06, 11:58   Link #61
Ulin
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As a manga reader I'm amazed at how off the point about the whole show some people can be... I, not even once, had the feeling of him being a "bad father" or think "he should just try harder". It was all about how sweet they were, how sad it was that he lost his wife and how good he was doing trying to learn to cook for his daughter's sake even with all those issues...

Siriusly, sometimes some people takes some stories way too seriously...
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Old 2016-07-06, 13:54   Link #62
Anh_Minh
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Originally Posted by kuromitsu View Post
I like how you ignored my actual point, ie. being overworked and overstressed and 6 months after your wife has died.
It's certainly a better point than "cooking is hard", which you and others have been so quick to brandish. That's an absolutely horrible point. You guys artificially raise the bar so it's "normal" to not be able to cook, but unless you've got some kind of serious handicap, cooking something simple in a modern setting is not difficult.

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Yeah, how come this person is not completely and objectively aware of their issues and can't tackle them in time!
Well, that's the thing, isn't it? He isn't unaware, but he chooses, consciously or unconsciously, to ignore the issue.

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Again, you completely ignore the entire aspect of the guy basically falling asleep at his work desk.
What's that got to do with it? He tried once, he can try again. He has the time and energy to shop for bentos, that means he has the time and energy to cook dinner.


Ultimately, it's not about judging him. You're right that it's probably unfair to expect too much out of him. But his daughter needs him, and the idea that he might fail her (which he was in the process of doing before his miraculous encounter that will surely result in some kind of happy end) is heartbreaking.
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Old 2016-07-06, 15:27   Link #63
Seihai
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I see it like this. Kouhei, the first few months after his wife's death, was not in a state where he could bother thinking about a trivial thing such as cooking. So you can already excuse him for like what, 2~3 months which means now we look at the latest 3 months~ish where it is argued that he did not cook properly for his daughter. After he got better, he decided to cook properly for Tsumugi but failed so he figured maybe instead of wasting time learning how to cook, just go back to stuff like bentos which I assume he started eating already after his wife died. As the anime mentioned, bentos are a balanced meal which is actually kinda true. Why waste time, money and effort for cooking when you can choose an easier way out? And yes, bentos and prefinished food (stuff you can eat raw like the tomatoes Kouhei wanted to use but couldn't because he ran out, and stuff that you simply warm up like those burger patties) are that much easier than the most simple cooking (e.g. making spaghetti).

He is so busy that he sometimes comes home late that he barely has time to make food even if he wanted to cook something, so that's another reason why to go for "fast" food. Due to an irregular schedule, it makes sense to give Tsumugi more leeway by having her eat whenever and wherever, so she can watch TV while eating and he can continue work.

Now the important stuff. Has Tsumugi made it clear yet that she doesn't like those bentos etc.? No. Only now 6 months after her mom died. So how was Kouhei supposed to know that the triviality known as cooking was actually a very important thing as well, to his daughter? Exactly, he couldn't know. And from her POV, it was probably no big deal either, at least nothing she couldn't just tough out.

Also for all we know even if they didn't meet Kotori Kouhei might have done something about their culinary life after the trigger event which was Tsumugi gluing herself to the cooking show on the TV so he may have been in the process of "failing" her, but it's possible he would have never ultimately "failed" her regardless of their encounter with Kotori.

Edit:
Oops, forgot to mention another important point. In their situation, rather than the actual food, what's more crucial is the act of eating together which has barely happened between father and daughter lately, so cooking is completely unrelated in a way. And this can't exactly be used to fault Kouhei either, because there was nothing wrong with choosing convenience over family bond. It's just that he went too far with one and forgot about the other. Now that realization, indeed, can be accounted towards their encounter with Kotori because she in particular brought them together in a "miraculous" yet trivial way.
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Old 2016-07-06, 17:59   Link #64
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So many feels from just the first episode, Tsumugi's VA just makes her adorable.
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Old 2016-07-06, 21:35   Link #65
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ulin View Post
As a manga reader I'm amazed at how off the point about the whole show some people can be... I, not even once, had the feeling of him being a "bad father" or think "he should just try harder". It was all about how sweet they were, how sad it was that he lost his wife and how good he was doing trying to learn to cook for his daughter's sake even with all those issues...

Siriusly, sometimes some people takes some stories way too seriously...
lmao. I was thinking the same thing. Pretty much I was feeling when I was reading it. I can't believe some was criticizing him as a bad father.
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Old 2016-07-06, 22:44   Link #66
orion
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Holy crap you're stupid, didn't you watch the beginning of the show? that's what he's been doing using microwaved freezer foods on top of the bentos. How much do you remember from highschool? the only thing I remember are the faces of the chicks I banged.

And he didn't leave any child alone, he always had a sitter, meeting ran long and the sitter had to leave, that was one freaking night in 6 months, ffs, I hope you never breed.

Well..you don't have to take it personally.

He was married before he had a kid. He could have learned how to cook something. Leaving a kid alone once is bad. He is supposed to pay the sitter a late fee, not tell her/him to just lock the door and leave the kid alone.

He wasn't microwaving fresh vegetables. Just bentos from the picture. Cooked rice is better than the microwaved bentos stuff. It doesn't take that much to invest in a rice cooker (or in his case dust off the one he has at home).

In the end, he is an adult with a kid. The responsibility to cook for her and learn how to style her hair resides with him.
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Old 2016-07-07, 02:24   Link #67
kuromitsu
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ulin View Post
As a manga reader I'm amazed at how off the point about the whole show some people can be... I, not even once, had the feeling of him being a "bad father" or think "he should just try harder". It was all about how sweet they were, how sad it was that he lost his wife and how good he was doing trying to learn to cook for his daughter's sake even with all those issues...

Siriusly, sometimes some people takes some stories way too seriously...
I think some people don't realize that being a parent (like most things in life) usually doesn't go perfectly and definitely not according to how textbooks say it should go. Parents are people, even if they try their best, having a child won't turn someone into a perfect parenting robot that runs on infinite energy and knowledge. Most people don't have unbreakable mental fortitude and infinite resources. The guy in this story does the best he's capable of at this point.

And I just don't get this obsession with his (nonexistent) cooking skills. So he can't cook (and guys, this is Japan, who do you think did the cooking while the wife was alive?) but clearly he's providing for the kid. She isn't starving, she in't lacking nutrition. He's feeding her food that is decent albeit fairly bland, which is not awesome, but children all around the world are getting by on far worse.

And obviously the food is not supposed to be the issue here, it's the lost family warmth and connection. (Even if he could cook well, it would be meaningless if they don't eat together or cook together, etc.) An that's something that he needed to realize, because people very rarely see and analyze their own lives and issues objectively. Especially when their head is full of trying to balance a demanding job with the demands of caring for a small child alone.

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Originally Posted by orion View Post
Leaving a kid alone once is bad. He is supposed to pay the sitter a late fee, not tell her/him to just lock the door and leave the kid alone.
I'm fairly sure that "oh, OK, just go" wasn't his first reaction? Most likely he tried to ask the sitter to stay, but sitters are people, too. Maybe they had another appointment. Maybe they had to go home to their own kid. Also, when he called the sitter he was already on his way home so the kid wasn't alone for like half a day, probably an hour at most, depending on how long it takes for him to get home.
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Old 2016-07-07, 07:14   Link #68
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Tsumugi sounds a lot like Naru from Barakamon. Her character is adorable and what really made the 1st ep most enjoyable to watch.
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Old 2016-07-07, 07:22   Link #69
Ulin
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Originally Posted by PreSage View Post
Tsumugi sounds a lot like Naru from Barakamon. Her character is adorable and what really made the 1st ep most enjoyable to watch.
I thought so too, but in fact she's the VA of Hina (the shy friend of Naru's)
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Old 2016-07-07, 07:33   Link #70
orion
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Originally Posted by kuromitsu View Post

I'm fairly sure that "oh, OK, just go" wasn't his first reaction? Most likely he tried to ask the sitter to stay, but sitters are people, too. Maybe they had another appointment. Maybe they had to go home to their own kid. Also, when he called the sitter he was already on his way home so the kid wasn't alone for like half a day, probably an hour at most, depending on how long it takes for him to get home.
Just once is considered bad.

http://family.findlaw.com/parental-r...me-alone-.html

http://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_...ldren-046.aspx

It's just not a crime there yet.

http://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/201.../#.V35NL5MrIUE

http://www.japantoday.com/category/n...-floor-balcony
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Old 2016-07-07, 07:39   Link #71
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--->
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Originally Posted by kuromitsu View Post
I think some people don't realize that being a parent (like most things in life) usually doesn't go perfectly and definitely not according to how textbooks say it should go.
"Considered bad" is one thing, "have no other choice because that's how life rolls" is another. Btw, I was raised by a single mom, I was left alone when I was small for short amounts of time when she had absolutely no other choice. I'm still alive.
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Old 2016-07-07, 07:45   Link #72
orion
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Originally Posted by kuromitsu View Post
--->


"Considered bad" is one thing, "have no other choice because that's how life rolls" is another. Btw, I was raised by a single mom, I was left alone when I was small for short amounts of time when she had absolutely no other choice. I'm still alive.
Well...that's a good thing. It only takes one incident to get a young child killed. See above.

We have laws for this. 6 years old is definitely a no-no. You're pretty much considered negligent. The guy is not even styling his daughter's hair.

We can agree to disagree.
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Old 2016-07-07, 07:59   Link #73
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its kinda sad when threads go this way, especially for shows like this one.

Its clear that the guy worked a lot to support his family while his wife took care of their daughter. Then the wife dies 6 months ago leaving the husband to deal with the grief + continue to work to support his daughter + now do all the things his wife used to do on top.

You cant really expect someone in that position to have their and child's life perfectly structured in such a short space of time, I think anyone who grew up or is currently in a similar scenario will empathize with the MC pretty well.
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Old 2016-07-07, 10:37   Link #74
Seihai
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LOL Slice of life has never been more serious business.
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Old 2016-07-07, 12:23   Link #75
Drake
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I know right, its a bit of fun that really should just be taken at face value.
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Old 2016-07-07, 13:55   Link #76
Beobachter
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Originally Posted by orion View Post
The guy is not even styling his daughter's hair.
I honestly can't tell if you're being serious with this one.
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Old 2016-07-07, 13:56   Link #77
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Well...that's a good thing. It only takes one incident to get a young child killed. See above.

We have laws for this. 6 years old is definitely a no-no. You're pretty much considered negligent. The guy is not even styling his daughter's hair.

We can agree to disagree.
If we consider the situation holistically here, the father needs help to make the transition after a traumatizing life event. And I think that is really supposed to be the main takeaway here: he was thrust into a situation that he was not prepared to handle, is struggling, and needs support. Thankfully he has people around him who are looking out for him. Even for his mistakes, I don't think the show is trying to suggest that the daughter isn't in good hands being with him, or that she's in harm's way. He clearly loves her very much, just wasn't prepared to fully handle things on his own, and he is coming to understand the "gaps" bit by bit.

I can understand being disappointed that the father wasn't better able to take care of himself and his daughter and was so dependent on his wife... but I don't think anything we're shown here is supposed to be taken as "negligent" at all. Just in need of improvement. I don't think we should only judge his failures, but consider his willingness and desire to improve.
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Old 2016-07-07, 15:08   Link #78
Anh_Minh
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If we consider the situation holistically here, the father needs help to make the transition after a traumatizing life event. And I think that is really supposed to be the main takeaway here: he was thrust into a situation that he was not prepared to handle, is struggling, and needs support. Thankfully he has people around him who are looking out for him. Even for his mistakes, I don't think the show is trying to suggest that the daughter isn't in good hands being with him, or that she's in harm's way. He clearly loves her very much, just wasn't prepared to fully handle things on his own, and he is coming to understand the "gaps" bit by bit.

I can understand being disappointed that the father wasn't better able to take care of himself and his daughter and was so dependent on his wife... but I don't think anything we're shown here is supposed to be taken as "negligent" at all. Just in need of improvement. I don't think we should only judge his failures, but consider his willingness and desire to improve.
Well, no one here doubts that he loves his daughter. Or that the situation is very painful for him. Or that he's doing his best.

It's just a matter of, you know, worrying for his daughter rather than looking for excuses for him. Saying he needs help is the same as saying he wasn't doing well enough on his own. You can say he wasn't at fault, that we can't expect him to do the impossible (though calling it "impossible" is an exaggeration), but the bottom line is that we had a little girl who wasn't getting all the parenting she needed.
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Old 2016-07-08, 00:33   Link #79
orion
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Originally Posted by relentlessflame View Post
If we consider the situation holistically here, the father needs help to make the transition after a traumatizing life event. And I think that is really supposed to be the main takeaway here: he was thrust into a situation that he was not prepared to handle, is struggling, and needs support. Thankfully he has people around him who are looking out for him. Even for his mistakes, I don't think the show is trying to suggest that the daughter isn't in good hands being with him, or that she's in harm's way. He clearly loves her very much, just wasn't prepared to fully handle things on his own, and he is coming to understand the "gaps" bit by bit.

I can understand being disappointed that the father wasn't better able to take care of himself and his daughter and was so dependent on his wife... but I don't think anything we're shown here is supposed to be taken as "negligent" at all. Just in need of improvement. I don't think we should only judge his failures, but consider his willingness and desire to improve.
While I will admit we have a cultural difference here, I will leave the definition of child neglect for everyone's review.

https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs...Types of abuse

What you're saying as "need for improvement" is what is defined as "neglect". Granted no one put the kid on a scale to see if she lost weight. But you have the food, one episode of being home unsupervised and her general appearance. (I keep bring up appearance because her peers have nice ponytails and she's got that "wild thing" going on with the hair now whereas when mom was alive she had ponytails.)

We can all agree to disagree.

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I honestly can't tell if you're being serious with this one.
Yes, I'm being serious. The title even shows that the other girls are well-groomed. Even that girl had her hair styled when her mother was alive.
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Old 2016-07-08, 02:38   Link #80
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ulin View Post
As a manga reader I'm amazed at how off the point about the whole show some people can be... I, not even once, had the feeling of him being a "bad father" or think "he should just try harder". It was all about how sweet they were, how sad it was that he lost his wife and how good he was doing trying to learn to cook for his daughter's sake even with all those issues...

Siriusly, sometimes some people takes some stories way too seriously...
I just don't know. Never left this episode thinking negatively about the guy.

I mean really a bad parent? If people want to put their personal expectations on him, then maybe they could consider what real bad parents look like. This guy is doing a decent job as a single parent. Doing his job, keeping his cared for and dealing with his personal losses. His situation is pitiable not something to condemn.

In the end....such is. I'll go back to enjoying the show now. Well by enjoying it, just feeling sorry for everyone in this situation. Credit to the dad for pushing himself to improve. It's easy to fall into a pattern just for the sake. It's so easy to say a person should do this or that, but it's a lot harder for a person to actually do that. There are bad parents in this world and that one....he isn't one of them. He is taking care of her needs, he could just do it better. Being able to do better and trying to do is is the mark of a good human being.
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