Dating

[synaesthetic]

Or you're too self-conscious and embarrassed to look her in the eyes.

[ChainLegacy]

I think I have the opposite problem. Usually, during conversation, people break eye contact momentarily every few seconds. For some reason, I never do unless I consciously force myself to, lol. Not really a problem I guess but I don't want to come off as some kind of murderer with a death stare.

[cheyannew]

Originally Posted by ChainLegacy

I think I have the opposite problem. Usually, during conversation, people break eye contact momentarily every few seconds. For some reason, I never do unless I consciously force myself to, lol. Not really a problem I guess but I don't want to come off as some kind of murderer with a death stare.

You may just be an alpha personality, and them... well.. not...

I tend to keep eye contact as well, and it's been known to make some uncomfy (those who mention it, I do make an effort, out of respect for them, to not look them dead in the eye lol) But then, I'm an alpha personality too LOL

[RadiantBeam]

Forgive me for asking, but what's an alpha personality? *has never heard of such terms*

[Kaze]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

Forgive me for asking, but what's an alpha personality? *has never heard of such terms*

Someone who is quite dominating compared to others.
A "leader" of the pack, if you would say.

This is a very good trait, and can help in a lot of cases.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Kaze

Someone who is quite dominating compared to others.
A "leader" of the pack, if you would say.

This is a very good trait, and can help in a lot of cases.

Ah, thanks for that; I got a little lost when the term came up. Goes to show how much I know about personality types, that's for sure.

[Haruka_Kitten]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

Nah, more like, you can't stay focused on a woman's eyes for some reason; maybe something more interesting is going on, or you aren't attracted to her, whatever, so you look at anything but right into her eyes. That's a "wandering gaze" from what I know.

Personally, I do it because I am shy. I would look at someone to make sure they weren't looking at me, and then the second they look my way I pretend to look elsewhere. To me, it's more or less a sign of uncertainty.

[LMF]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

Nah, more like, you can't stay focused on a woman's eyes for some reason; maybe something more interesting is going on, or you aren't attracted to her, whatever, so you look at anything but right into her eyes. That's a "wandering gaze" from what I know.

Maybe. I don't seem to ever develop a romantic interest in anyone. I guess I'm one of the late ones.

[cheyannew]

Originally Posted by Kaze

Someone who is quite dominating compared to others.
A "leader" of the pack, if you would say.

This is a very good trait, and can help in a lot of cases.

though to clarify, it doesn't mean you're a jerkface and dominate everyone. It can also mean you simply stand up for yourself and don't back down

[hinakatbklyn]

Originally Posted by Harufox

Personally, I do it because I am shy. I would look at someone to make sure they weren't looking at me, and then the second they look my way I pretend to look elsewhere. To me, it's more or less a sign of uncertainty.

While I do have that shy personality, I can still keep eye contact most of the time during a conversation. In most cases, it's when I don't have an answer to a question right away when I lose eye contact.

[Kaze]

Originally Posted by cheyannew

though to clarify, it doesn't mean you're a jerkface and dominate everyone. It can also mean you simply stand up for yourself and don't back down

Ah, this is also what I meant, which is why I said it was a good trait.
It was not my intention to offend as I did not mean it in the "jerkface" way.

[Last Sinner]

I seem to exude two different effects on women - strongly correlated to their age.

Married women/40+ women think I'm handsome, polite, good to talk with and that I dress well.

Single women below the age of 30 all give me a look as if they wishI was dead and do their best to completely ignore me.

It gives me the chills...and a bit of despair. I can't figure out why only more mature/attached women like me....

I sometimes wonder if looking younger than I actually am has something to do with it. I am 29 but most people think I'm 21-23 before I tell them I'm 29.

[Kaijo]

Originally Posted by cheyannew

though to clarify, it doesn't mean you're a jerkface and dominate everyone. It can also mean you simply stand up for yourself and don't back down

Not quite. "Alpha male" simply means a guy in a position of dominance. In any social group, you'll have one that the others look up to, and women will be more attracted to. He can be a decent guy, but it's rare. Most guys become alphas by stepping on others, so you're likely to find a higher proportion of alpha males being not-quite-nice.

The "beta males" can still stand up for themselves, but they will tend to defer to the alpha. Most "nice guys" fall into this role, because, being nice guys, they generally don't want to make waves.

As far as the "wandering eye" thing goes... wandering eye simply means a guy looks around at other girls. It's genetic. If taken further, it means he actively desires other women, most likely a player.

Lastly, all I can say about "eye contact" is that some people just have problems with. Those with Asperger's usually have trouble making eye contact, and they'll try to look away or look down. It's really hard to look at someone, and it's something I've had to learn to do.

Originally Posted by Last Sinner

I seem to exude two different effects on women - strongly correlated to their age.

Married women/40+ women think I'm handsome, polite, good to talk with and that I dress well.

Single women below the age of 30 all give me a look as if they wishI was dead and do their best to completely ignore me.

It gives me the chills...and a bit of despair. I can't figure out why only more mature/attached women like me....

I sometimes wonder if looking younger than I actually am has something to do with it. I am 29 but most people think I'm 21-23 before I tell them I'm 29.

It's because the more mature women are exactly that... more mature. They know they are getting older and aren't getting the attention they used to when they were younger, so they make more effort to reach out to guys. Generally speaking, younger women get more attention, and thus grow used to always having people like them because of their beauty, etc. Some women realize this early on, but many do not, and thus end up treating people lightly. It's only when they get older and the attention vastly decreases, that they start to change.

So, pretty much, hope you find someone around your age who has learned early, and ignore the bad ones who treat you like trash.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Last Sinner

I seem to exude two different effects on women - strongly correlated to their age.

Married women/40+ women think I'm handsome, polite, good to talk with and that I dress well.

Single women below the age of 30 all give me a look as if they wishI was dead and do their best to completely ignore me.

It gives me the chills...and a bit of despair. I can't figure out why only more mature/attached women like me....

I sometimes wonder if looking younger than I actually am has something to do with it. I am 29 but most people think I'm 21-23 before I tell them I'm 29.

It might have something to do with the air or presence you give off. You might just attract a certain kind of woman and not attract the other kind.

[LMF]

I'm starting to like this thread. I've been reading most of the recent posts, some of them, which I find helpful, are good pointers.

I feel a bit confident now, I'll probably test my confidence tomorrow.

[Samari]

Originally Posted by ChainLegacy

I think I have the opposite problem. Usually, during conversation, people break eye contact momentarily every few seconds. For some reason, I never do unless I consciously force myself to, lol. Not really a problem I guess but I don't want to come off as some kind of murderer with a death stare.

Looking someone in the eye doesn't mean you're going to give that kind of vibe though. If you have an expressionless face and try to sound like someone creepy, I could see how someone would think that, but if you're a laid back casual person than it's not a big deal.

[yoropa]

Originally Posted by Samari

Looking someone in the eye doesn't mean you're going to give that kind of vibe though. If you have an expressionless face and try to sound like someone creepy, I could see how someone would think that, but if you're a laid back casual person than it's not a big deal.

Have the same problem myself really, though for me it's outside the realm of relationships and more that I freak out people who don't know me too well, in general. People I've become more casual with though are used to it.

It's not something I think about, but more something that comes naturally for me. To me it's natural to look somebody in the eye when speaking.

[0utf0xZer0]

Originally Posted by Last Sinner

I seem to exude two different effects on women - strongly correlated to their age.

Married women/40+ women think I'm handsome, polite, good to talk with and that I dress well.

Single women below the age of 30 all give me a look as if they wishI was dead and do their best to completely ignore me.

It gives me the chills...and a bit of despair. I can't figure out why only more mature/attached women like me....

I sometimes wonder if looking younger than I actually am has something to do with it. I am 29 but most people think I'm 21-23 before I tell them I'm 29.

Back when I was maybe 19 or 20, I had a women who I'd guess was about 50 approach me on the train I was taking to university and say something along the lines of "Excuse me, I'm sure you get this all the time, but did you know you look like Tom Cruise?"

I'm still not sure if she was trying to pick me up or not. And no, I in fact have never been told I looked like Tom Cruise prior to that, although when I asked a guy at my university his opinion on the matter he said he could kind of see a resemblance.

As a random aside, I've also been told I look kind of like Uwe Boll.

[nlnforever]

I am young, just about 25, and I am married, my wife is also my 1st love, and I am her 1st too. I heard that everybody said 1st love never lasts long, we have been together for 8 years already. So I do hope that our relationship can last long.

[anti-random]

^ thats the dream and im happy that your living it.