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Old 2011-11-11, 21:52   Link #7341
EthernalRain
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@ Zero: It's insanely hard/if not impossible, to top Yuno Gasai class yandereness.

On a random note, I'd really love to see more of the other timeline where Yukiteru actually has a pair of balls.

@ Eratas: To make the end choice easier... Well, if there's a harem, and the protagonist has more of an interest in one girl, he'll keep on dropping hints that he prefers that one girl over the rest. Then when the ultimate choice comes, the other girls know that that girl will be the one chosen. Kind of like Love Hina. Though that may be a poor example, since the other girls continued to gun after Keitaro.

If the protagonist wants to avoid the "Nice Boat Ending", then... Hm... First, they MUST have a good, morally-inclined personality, no Makoto style assholishness here.

Second, keeping the harem balanced might keep them all calmed down, knowing the playing field is even and nobody has the advantage.

It also tells the members of the harem that each one of them has an even chance of getting picked. It calms them down even further around the end choice, since they know that there was a good enough chance for them to be picked, but one harem member may have appealed to the protagonist more.

And if they're all murderous yanderes by the time the end choice comes... The protagonist should have a good reason to explain to the rest of the harem that he picked this one girl over them and why. He doesn't point out any of their flaws, but he does point out the points in the girl he likes, and maybe a few of the smaller, less important points he likes in the other girls.

So basically he tries to appease them without having to break from his decision. If it works, it works, everybody's calm and happy.

If not... Well, somebody's going to be chilling down at the beach on a school day evening, saying this to the only thing they can see on the horizion:

"Oh, isn't that a nice boat?"

~~~

@ ALL: EVERYTHING SHALL BE EXPLAINED BY CHAPTER 17: Also, there were timeskips. A few of them, varying between days and at least 1 or 2 weeks. Things happen during those timeskips, and so, there was some bonding moments. And there are some more to come.
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Old 2011-11-11, 21:54   Link #7342
ZeroXSEED
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Well, Shuffle anime was aired before Mirai Nikki became famous.

Also, wise words, this is similar to my argument but better at explanation.
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Old 2011-11-11, 21:58   Link #7343
Eratas123
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@ Rain - Time skips? I hope it gets explained since the confession pretty much made me go WTF when it happened. I hope you don't mind but it'll be a while till Laura actually expresses feelings for Kyuukai, being a child soldier and all. Same with Irish and Tatenashi. He doesn't even admit to liking her (as a friend) till way later on even if they're roommates.
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Old 2011-11-11, 22:06   Link #7344
EthernalRain
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@ Eratas: I don't mind, in fact I'm looking forward to seeing how you choose to develop their relationship.

Also, concerning Tatenashi's confession: Kyuukai was confused by it. First was shock at Tatenashi confessing, then came him racking his head at WHY she was confessing.

There's going to be a flashback or two in Chapter 17, the chapter named: The 12 Resolutions of Kyuukai Tokiwa.

The chapter's going to be Kyuukai spending time with 12 different people, and resolving his relationships with them before having to leave. For each of the twelve, I've allotted a 2000 word segment max for each person. So the chapter's going to be at max 22 thousand words. It would be about 35-40 if I didn't split it though.
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Old 2011-11-11, 22:06   Link #7345
ZeroXSEED
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Doorstopper to the max! Lol
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Old 2011-11-11, 22:08   Link #7346
MeisterBabylon
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Yuno Gasai is an ideal existence. Like Hitagi. Its most likely not going to happen. And if spammed just dilutes the purity of the existence.

(That said, I did fancy giving Erika Weber a bit of surprise Gasai-ness for her chosen one... Because you know that's what "Yamato Nadeshiko" are deep inside...)

A harem of ideals is the best design to exist. However, it is immensely difficult to craft. I'm not certain how does one even go about it.



@Rain: Oi, oi, does Kyuukai have a Love Spot or something, capable of making any woman fall in love with him?
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白露型駆逐艦の4番艦、夕立です。第三次ソロモン海戦では、けっこう頑張ったっぽい★?
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Old 2011-11-11, 22:10   Link #7347
ZeroXSEED
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^ Now you're going to be symbolic about everything?
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Old 2011-11-11, 22:11   Link #7348
Eratas123
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@ Rain - Man.....The most I've done so far is about 5000 or so words for Shadow. Feel a bit inadequate. I hope I can do better as I go along.

Also, mind if Kyuukai has (off-screen) sex before the finale of Shadow? Ichika and Kyuukai are going to do it with their respective partners while Irish chickens out and just talks.

I know it's annoying, but can I ask for your help in co-writing parts of shadow?
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Old 2011-11-11, 22:13   Link #7349
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So far the most I have is about 15.000 (for a Nanoha fic), and for a good reason it's titled The OVA. Though if animated, it'll be around 70-90 minutes.
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Old 2011-11-11, 22:19   Link #7350
Eratas123
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@ Rain - I need to know what to write for Tatenashi's daydream. Any ideas?

Side note - I've been writing for two months already. I wonder if I'm getting better.
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Old 2011-11-11, 22:27   Link #7351
MeisterBabylon
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZeroXSEED View Post
^ Now you're going to be symbolic about everything?
I dreamed up characters using stereotypes, then break some aspect of them:

Karon: Genki girl, not dense or dojiko.

Ginjyo: Gentle airhead, but surprisingly perceptive.

Riz: Acts tsundere on stage, but isn't always like that.

Erika: YAmato Nadeshiko DERE (but voiced by Toyosaki Aki. HNNNNNNNNNNNNNG.)

Celeste: Product of SCIENCE, but Meister of ARTS.

For example. So I guess I'm already using ideals.
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Old 2011-11-11, 22:28   Link #7352
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
@ Rain - I need to know what to write for Tatenashi's daydream. Any ideas?

Side note - I've been writing for two months already. I wonder if I'm getting better.
Yes you are, and as for Tatenashi, how about having him in her neighborhood as a child? You know, alleviating all the stress she gets from all the pressure.
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Old 2011-11-11, 22:29   Link #7353
Eratas123
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@ Meister - Tropes to the max! All of us use ideals to a degree as well.
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Old 2011-11-11, 22:36   Link #7354
MeisterBabylon
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I'm pretty sure using ideals to deliberately subvert some of them to make it more balanced is not an ideal.

Or rather, its a pursuit of ideal balance.
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白露型駆逐艦の4番艦、夕立です。第三次ソロモン海戦では、けっこう頑張ったっぽい★?
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Old 2011-11-11, 22:39   Link #7355
EthernalRain
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@ Eratas: You're improving by quite a bit. I don't really have any ideas for Tatenashi at the moment, so I'll get back to you on that later.

On a side note, I've got a bunch of drafts of the 12 different scenes cooked up already, trying to find the right one that would fit. Here's the only good draft, the part where Kyuukai tries to resolve his friendship with Cecilia:

Spoiler for Cecilia's Scene:


I believe I did a good job on it.

Last edited by EthernalRain; 2011-11-11 at 22:50.
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Old 2011-11-11, 22:47   Link #7356
Eratas123
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@ Rain - Aw~ That's sweet! I'm gonna do the complete opposite though. I don't think she'll be friendly to the guy who kidnapped her

@ Meister - Yup! I use subversions of concepts. Irish is the child soldier concept and Ichika is the idiot harem hero concept. Both are more than what they appear to be.
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Old 2011-11-11, 22:50   Link #7357
DarkJak2050
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How am I doing with Project Silverback?
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Old 2011-11-11, 22:54   Link #7358
Eratas123
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@ Jak - Do you mean story wise or something else?
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Old 2011-11-11, 22:55   Link #7359
DarkJak2050
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@ Jak - Do you mean story wise or something else?
Storywise, writting, ect. And I'm asking everyone here...
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Old 2011-11-11, 22:57   Link #7360
ZeroXSEED
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Originally Posted by MeisterBabylon View Post
I'm pretty sure using ideals to deliberately subvert some of them to make it more balanced is not an ideal.

Or rather, its a pursuit of ideal balance.
A Deconstruction of Thirty Sue Pileup?

Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkJak2050 View Post
How am I doing with Project Silverback?
So far so good, but considering your genre, please speed up the plot.
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