The Genderbending of Haruhi Suzumiya [Spoilers Aplenty]

[dragon4dudes]

IMO, disservice, maybe one or two would join the crowd, but the net migration rate would be negative...

[Jintor]

And as for your second point, why would there be a Shakespearean comedy rendition of the first Light Novel, especially when the events of such a novel were currently taking place? : |

(Also I am getting mighty sick of seeing the world Chippendale everywhere.)

[Cat Megex]

Originally Posted by otai

They're some kind of super-oni. Beans are supposed to drive them away. But they eat them.

"You think you can scare me away with your beans?! I EAT YOUR ROAST BEANS! I EAT THEM ALL UP! OM NOM NOM NOM!"

...What about the beans is supposed to do the driving-away?

[otai]

Originally Posted by Cat Megex

...What about the beans is supposed to do the driving-away?

Google is your friend.

On another note, aren't we a little harsh on the n00b? we've entertained way more CRACK from beanbrew.

...and personally, what if the concert replaced ENOZ with the DMC; and Haruki in Krauser the 2nd armor starts raeping Kyonko?

[Ithekro]

Haruki didn't have time to change before the concert...it was rather last minute.

[Aebliss]

Originally Posted by wittyusername

STOP MAKING ME WANT TO DRAW THINGS.

You, too.

Please? Pretty please? C'mon, it'll be fun. ^^

[Kogetsu Shirogane]

Originally Posted by Ithekro

Haruki didn't have time to change before the concert...it was rather last minute.

Technically he had plenty of time before the concert... it was just spent rehearsing instead(which, in all honesty, was probably a better use of the time)

[Tyabann]

Originally Posted by Kogetsu Shirogane

Well I'm a known Kyon-disliker... so me saying everything is his fault tends to get people riled up

It's fine. Frankly, I think it's hilarious if everything is Kyon's fault.

And it is, because he was the one that convinced Haruhi to go to North High in the first place.

Originally Posted by ryanasaurus0077

*snip*

I'm looking down and whispering no.

Originally Posted by otai

On another note, aren't we a little harsh on the n00b? we've entertained way more CRACK from beanbrew.

But beanbrew was entertaining and often had good ideas.

[Aebliss]

Previous installment.

Spoiler for Suzumiya Haruki no Setsubun, part 11.:

Let me briefly recap what turned out to be the worst Setsubun in memory. The demon attack was really bad, of course, but in hindsight, it passed a lot quicker than what came next.

As I had feared, Haruki did insist on taking me all the way home. Why are you acting chivalrous, all of a sudden? I won't say it to your face, but the one who needed saving the most just now was you, and it was thanks to Itsuko and I that you got the help you needed. Which reminds me, I need to go out and buy enough beans to roast a pot full of them, tomorrow.

Why I didn't just do it on the day of Risshun itself, you ask? Easy. All too appallingly easy.

When we got to my house, I was just starting to say goodbye to Haruki when our front door flew open, and my little brother came running out, arms outstretched and a big smile on his face. Aw, so you can be cute after all, running out to give your big sister a hug? I was all ready to catch him up, but he blithely charged past me and ran into Haruki.

Stop that. Please stop wrestling on the street, laughing like little boys. What's up with calling Haruki 'Haru-aniki'? Please stop.

Worse was to come. Next out the door was my dad, who seemed rather surprised at the whole display, but graciously invited Haruki in. He gave my new hakama an odd look, and then suddenly started to look all happy. Father, what are you thinking? Yes, your oldest child is wearing traditional attire on Risshun. Is that so odd?

Your oldest child, your only daughter, who left the house before breakfast, has returned wearing traditional clothing while in the company of ... a boy. Suzumiya Haruki from her class, who has visited before.

...

No, no, I assure you, this is completely innocent!

Haruki actually accepted the invitation gracefully. Dammit, why do you have to act polite at times when your usual eccentricity would spare me hassle? My dad brought Haruki inside, sat him down on the couch, and asked me to make some tea. Why am I the one making tea? Can I get a change of clothes, first? The smell of mold and black earth has pretty much disappeared because of the airing these clothes got on the bus, but that doesn't mean I want to keep wearing demon clothes!

The afternoon passed pleasantly enough, I suppose, with Haruki alternatively chatting amicably with my parents and wrestling with my little brother. It's just my mom and dad wouldn't let me leave long enough to change, and I was on duty to collect tea and snacks.

I had an odd chill when dad finally performed the Mamemaki and threw the roasted soybeans out the front door, intoning: "Oni wa soto! Fuku wa uchi!" I half-expected to hear that greedy voice hiss: "Beaaaaansss~!" and Makuro to charge into view, but ... nothing. Fortunately.

And then came the real kicker: dad actually invited Haruki to dinner. Dinner at my place. Thankfully, he declined, seeing as he was expected home for that occasion. You don't have to look so disappointed, mom! Cut it out!

Finally, with Haruki safely out the door, I could go change into something more normal. Dinner was a minefield, however.

"I was thinking how good you looked in that hakama," my mother said in encouraging tones. "That kimono you brought home last summer looked very nice, as well. Maybe we should go out this Sunday and buy you some more traditional clothes?"

"They're not really in fashion right now," I mumbled.

"Well, fashion is made by those who wear it," mom said, patting my hand as if to console me.

"Kyon, Kyon~!" my little brother nagged.

I ignored him.

"Young Suzumiya seems like a nice young man," dad noted, his eyes apparently focused on his plate.

I can see you smiling, dammit! I didn't reply.

"Kyon, Kyon~!" my little brother nagged.

Eat your vegetables, will you?

"So well-mannered, too," dad continued. "Walking you all the way home."

"Well, he was the one who called me out." I actually said that, didn't I? Oh, no. "I mean -"

"Kyon, Kyon~!"

I still see vegetables on your plate. Put your jaws to some use.

Mom and dad exchanged a look across the table and smiled at each other. Oh, this is going very badly, indeed.

"So, he's the president of your club, isn't he?" mom asked. "Your father told me something about it, but I was a little busy at the time. Come on, tell your poor mother about it," she continued with a smile. "I feel so out of the loop on my daughter's life, what with having to spend more time at work than at the house."

Are you trying to guilt me, mom? I properly appreciate all the hours you put in at the office, so as to put food on the table. Let me express my gratitude by topping up your tea, I'll just be off to the kitchen -

"No, no!" mom laughed, grabbing me by the shoulders and pushing me back into my chair. "You're so shy about these things. Come on, share with mama."

"Kyon, Kyo-o-on~!"

Ow! You just kicked me beneath the table! - and yet, I'm happy about that. Yes, let's talk about something else. Why are you kicking me? Where's your respect for your older sibling, you little brat?

"Dear, dear," dad said, patting my hand. "Don't call your little brother a brat. He just wants to ask something, and you're ignoring him. That's not nice."

"Yes, what did you want to ask?" mother asked brightly.

You can let go now, mom, it's not like I'm going to run away the moment you release me.

"Kyon, where did you and Haru-aniki go on your date?" my little brother asked.

Oh. My. God.

"Kyon-chan is blushing!" my brother crowed, and fell back in his chair laughing.

"You have to be a little more sensitive about these things," dad admonished him. "You know your big sister is shy about these things."

Yes, I can see you trying hard not to grin, dad. Thanks so much. Mom ... please let go. Why are you hugging me?

"It's alright, sweetie," mom said, smiling gently. "Don't worry about it. Now, I was thinking we could go to that nice department store on Sunday. We'll make a day of it, and we can have a nice, long chat."

No. No, that's alright. Just ... just shoot me now. Please. That's enough. No ...

The Kyon-chan family at full throttle.

Next installment.

[Kogetsu Shirogane]

... Poor Kyonko

[Aebliss]

In my defence ... Oh, boy that was a lot of fun to write! ^^ And read back.

[Tyabann]

Hahaha. Kyonko's family sucks. No wonder she grew up like that.

I will mention that the other parent is never actually mentioned though, in the originals... but eh.

Originally Posted by Aebliss

I half-expected to hear that greedy voice hiss: "Beaaaaansss~!" and Makuro to charge into view, but ... nothing. Fortunately.

"Beaaaaansss~!"

God Makuro is awesome.

[Jintor]

Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

I'm looking down and whispering no.

I lol'd, inkblot face

[otai]

Originally Posted by Aebliss

Previous installment.

Spoiler for Suzumiya Haruki no Setsubun, part 11.:

Let me briefly recap what turned out to be the worst Setsubun in memory. The demon attack was really bad, of course, but in hindsight, it passed a lot quicker than what came next.

As I had feared, Haruki did insist on taking me all the way home. Why are you acting chivalrous, all of a sudden? I won't say it to your face, but the one who needed saving the most just now was you, and it was thanks to Itsuko and I that you got the help you needed. Which reminds me, I need to go out and buy enough beans to roast a pot full of them, tomorrow.

Why I didn't just do it on the day of Risshun itself, you ask? Easy. All too appallingly easy.

When we got to my house, I was just starting to say goodbye to Haruki when our front door flew open, and my little brother came running out, arms outstretched and a big smile on his face. Aw, so you can be cute after all, running out to give your big sister a hug? I was all ready to catch him up, but he blithely charged past me and ran into Haruki.

Stop that. Please stop wrestling on the street, laughing like little boys. What's up with calling Haruki 'Haru-aniki'? Please stop.

Worse was to come. Next out the door was my dad, who seemed rather surprised at the whole display, but graciously invited Haruki in. He gave my new hakama an odd look, and then suddenly started to look all happy. Father, what are you thinking? Yes, your oldest child is wearing traditional attire on Risshun. Is that so odd?

Your oldest child, your only daughter, who left the house before breakfast, has returned wearing traditional clothing while in the company of ... a boy. Suzumiya Haruki from her class, who has visited before.

...

No, no, I assure you, this is completely innocent!

Haruki actually accepted the invitation gracefully. Dammit, why do you have to act polite at times when your usual eccentricity would spare me hassle? My dad brought Haruki inside, sat him down on the couch, and asked me to make some tea. Why am I the one making tea? Can I get a change of clothes, first? The smell of mold and black earth has pretty much disappeared because of the airing these clothes got on the bus, but that doesn't mean I want to keep wearing demon clothes!

The afternoon passed pleasantly enough, I suppose, with Haruki alternatively chatting amicably with my parents and wrestling with my little brother. It's just my mom and dad wouldn't let me leave long enough to change, and I was on duty to collect tea and snacks.

I had an odd chill when dad finally performed the Mamemaki and threw the roasted soybeans out the front door, intoning: "Oni wa soto! Fuku wa uchi!" I half-expected to hear that greedy voice hiss: "Beaaaaansss~!" and Makuro to charge into view, but ... nothing. Fortunately.

And then came the real kicker: dad actually invited Haruki to dinner. Dinner at my place. Thankfully, he declined, seeing as he was expected home for that occasion. You don't have to look so disappointed, mom! Cut it out!

Finally, with Haruki safely out the door, I could go change into something more normal. Dinner was a minefield, however.

"I was thinking how good you looked in that hakama," my mother said in encouraging tones. "That kimono you brought home last summer looked very nice, as well. Maybe we should go out this Sunday and buy you some more traditional clothes?"

"They're not really in fashion right now," I mumbled.

"Well, fashion is made by those who wear it," mom said, patting my hand as if to console me.

"Kyon, Kyon~!" my little brother nagged.

I ignored him.

"Young Suzumiya seems like a nice young man," dad noted, his eyes apparently focused on his plate.

I can see you smiling, dammit! I didn't reply.

"Kyon, Kyon~!" my little brother nagged.

Eat your vegetables, will you?

"So well-mannered, too," dad continued. "Walking you all the way home."

"Well, he was the one who called me out." I actually said that, didn't I? Oh, no. "I mean -"

"Kyon, Kyon~!"

I still see vegetables on your plate. Put your jaws to some use.

Mom and dad exchanged a look across the table and smiled at each other. Oh, this is going very badly, indeed.

"So, he's the president of your club, isn't he?" mom asked. "Your father told me something about it, but I was a little busy at the time. Come on, tell your poor mother about it," she continued with a smile. "I feel so out of the loop on my daughter's life, what with having to spend more time at work than at the house."

Are you trying to guilt me, mom? I properly appreciate all the hours you put in at the office, so as to put food on the table. Let me express my gratitude by topping up your tea, I'll just be off to the kitchen -

"No, no!" mom laughed, grabbing me by the shoulders and pushing me back into my chair. "You're so shy about these things. Come on, share with mama."

"Kyon, Kyo-o-on~!"

Ow! You just kicked me beneath the table! - and yet, I'm happy about that. Yes, let's talk about something else. Why are you kicking me? Where's your respect for your older sibling, you little brat?

"Dear, dear," dad said, patting my hand. "Don't call your little brother a brat. He just wants to ask something, and you're ignoring him. That's not nice."

"Yes, what did you want to ask?" mother asked brightly.

You can let go now, mom, it's not like I'm going to run away the moment you release me.

"Kyon, where did you and Haru-aniki go on your date?" my little brother asked.

Oh. My. God.

"Kyon-chan is blushing!" my brother crowed, and fell back in his chair laughing.

"You have to be a little more sensitive about these things," dad admonished him. "You know your big sister is shy about these things."

Yes, I can see you trying hard not to grin, dad. Thanks so much. Mom ... please let go. Why are you hugging me?

"It's alright, sweetie," mom said, smiling gently. "Don't worry about it. Now, I was thinking we could go to that nice department store on Sunday. We'll make a day of it, and we can have a nice, long chat."

No. No, that's alright. Just ... just shoot me now. Please. That's enough. No ...

The Kyon-chan family at full throttle.

Man that's comedy gold. It also now makes sense why Kyonko would put up with Haruki. Throughout her whole life, she was being bullied.

[Roger Rambo]

Hmmmmmm, it seems like Kyonko has not bought any beans as of yet, and has no idea what the "honors" in question are. Oh fuck.

I wonder if any of Kyonko's friends are helping her out in this endeavor.

Originally Posted by otai

Man that's comedy gold. It also now makes sense why Kyonko would put up with Haruki. Throughout her whole life, she was being bullied.

Not really. It's just that her parents are very interested in these matters. And Haruki has the amazing ability to act like a model student when it suits him.

Also:MINDFUCK!

We just met Genderbent Kyonko's mom...who originally was Normal bent Kyons dad. And Genderbent Kyonko's dad who was originally Kyons mom.

MY BRAINS!!!

[wittyusername]

Originally Posted by Aebliss

"It's alright, sweetie," mom said, smiling gently. "Don't worry about it. Now, I was thinking we could go to that nice department store on Sunday. We'll make a day of it, and we can have a nice, long chat."

Do I qualify as a terrible person for wanting to punch Kyonko's mom here? It's such a...a mom thing to do, to think department stores can be fun in any way.

Unless you're setting fire to them or having a party in one or something, which would probably be at the very least mildly entertaining.

Originally Posted by Aebliss

Please? Pretty please? C'mon, it'll be fun. ^^

NOOOO NOW I WANT TO AGAAAIN

My scanner lacks a power cord, and I can't find a battery charger for my camera. If I drew anything, I could post something saying I did, but I couldn't post the actual image.

I miss my tablet. ;__;

WAIT WHY AM I QUOTING SOMETHING FROM LIKE TEN YEARS AGO

[Roger Rambo]

Originally Posted by wittyusername

Do I qualify as a terrible person for wanting to punch Kyonko's mom here? It's such a...a mom thing to do, to think department stores can be fun in any way.

Unless you're setting fire to them or having a party in one or something, which would probably be at the very least mildly entertaining.

Women grow into liking shopping as they grow older?

[wittyusername]

Originally Posted by Roger Rambo

Women grow into liking shopping as they grow older?

There's nothing wrong with shopping (unless you have no money, in which case "shopping" becomes more of a robbing thing), but...department stores? They're not particularly exciting or interesting.

[Sute443]

Originally Posted by otai

Man that's comedy gold. It also now makes sense why Kyonko would put up with Haruki. Throughout her whole life, she was being bullied.

Somehow, that just made my heart hurt a little bit.

[Roger Rambo]

Originally Posted by wittyusername

There's nothing wrong with shopping (unless you have no money, in which case "shopping" becomes more of a robbing thing), but...department stores? They're not particularly exciting or interesting.

Unless you wanna buy clothing.