An additional comment. You need to better integrate Space's scene with Vivio in the gym with the reconciliation here. As is it, that scene might as well not have happened with the way ch7 is written now. Ok, so Vivio might not yet completely understand outsiders' views of sex, but she sounded like she understood that she had betrayed Syn's trust back then. So she should apologize for that now that's Syn's talking to her again, at least.
Quote:
Originally Posted by satashi
the exact term I have in mind Vivio saying is around: "I want you to love me while I'm doing my job, not just loving me while accepting it."
Doesn't sound affectionate enough. How about, "Can you love me while...?"
Knights of the Reich Season 2: Chapter 23
It has been nearly 11 months since the Nuclear Armageddon. We have fought on Mid-Childa for a very long time…losing 90%, winning 10%. Those sly anarchists, they made friends with a dangerous former prisoner called Jail Scaglietti. He and his henchwoman Due are on the top of our priority list, meaning that they must be killed if seen. For 11 months, we and our Mid-Childan allies have gone underground as the Mid-Childan surface became nothing but a desolate wasteland, its beauty marred by the destruction of nuclear bombs launched by our own men who defected to the enemy. Unable to receive help from Earth or other Mid-Childan worlds, we are on our own and we only number by the million, excluding civilians. Our equipments, all worth more than a billion dollars, gone. We were forced to fight with nothing but custom made weapons. It isn’t much but we still manage to survive quite well. Civilians provided us food while we provided defense.
December 4th 2023, the coalition army was fighting in the ruins of what used to be Cranagan in an attempt to retrieve items that are still usable. The sky was snowing and there had been no sunlight since the bombs dropped. Units in heavily armored suits took cover as they fought in a post-apocalyptic world against the anarchists, who until now have been the victors over the coalition army. One of the units moved faster than the others. That unit fought with great agility and with one look, you could tell it is a Mid-Childan fighter because the unit used a lyrical device to fight. By noon, the fighting stopped as the anarchists beat a retreat. “Okay, that’s a wrap. Search around for anything we can use,” the leader ordered. Everyone nodded and got to work.
The leader lifted her helmet’s visor and it turned out to be Nanoha, all battle-hardened after so many months of fighting with the anarchists. She wasn’t like what she used to be before. She now relies on tactics and strategic advantages to change the outcome of battle. After Nanoha realized that there is no way to win by using brute force and straightforward attacks, she learned the Terran way of tactical battles. It proved to be useful and she improved overtime along with few other notable characters like Fate, Teana and so on. The only ones missing are Lutecia, Caro, Erio, Hayate, Lance, Subaru and Ginga. Nanoha wanted to believe they are alive but for many months already, there were no signs of them. As for the giant robot everyone fought before the bombs fell, it was destroyed but the cockpits survived, meaning that Vivio, Vita and Karyl were rescued after the explosions ceded.
“This is Colonel Nanoha to Outpost-4, do you hear me?” Nanoha spoke through a COMM. “I hear you loud and clear, Nanoha. What have you got for us?” a man’s voice responded. “We found more usable weapons and some scrap metal. Nothing much today,” Nanoha said casually. There was long silence before the operator spoke again. “The usual eh. Okay, I think that should be enough. We don’t want to risk anymore units so return in 5 minutes time. Oh, one more thing ma’am, Brigadier General Yukihara wants to see you once you return. She said it is important,” the operator said before closing the COMM channel. Nanoha looked around and let out a sigh. She shut the helmet visor over her face and returned to work.
Back at an underground military base, the Terrans were constructing battle tanks for their next raid. Without other expertise from Earth, building a good tank wasn’t as easy as anyone think. Mid-Childan tanks were weaker than Terran tanks so there is no point asking help from them. “Um, how do we fit reactive armor on them again?” one engineer asked. His friend shrugged and scratched his head. “I’m not sure how to put it on as well. If only I brought my wife along. She’s the head engineer in the tank production plant,” the latter said. “No kidding,” the first one said again and went back to welding the metal parts. He worked with the metal parts until the tank’s engine exploded. The first engineer threw his welder down in anger. “That is the 5th time that engine exploded! Who’s idea was it to use derelict engines?!” he ranted. At the same time, Fate came into the garage to check on things. “The engine exploded again?” she asked. “Obviously. I have spent hours fixing that damn thing and still it exploded. If we can find an intact tank on the surface, maybe we could replicate the engine. Custom made engines are nothing but exploding boxes,” the engineer said.
Fate inspected the engine and nodded. She contacted Nanoha. “Nanoha, the Terran engineers need an intact engine from any tank that survived the nuclear fall. Do you have any?” Fate asked. “You’re in luck, Fate. My men found two engines intact. We’ll bring it to you when we are done scavenging,” Nanoha said. The engineer gave a sigh of relief. “At last, a functioning engine to work on,” he said. Fate smiled and sat on a bench. “We’re lucky to survive the Nuclear Armageddon. It is good if we have to start from scratch, at least we know where our potentials are,” she said to the two. The two looked at her with dumbfounded expressions. “I dunno what you mean by that, ma’am,” the second engineer said. There was the sound of alarms and the garage ceiling opened. In came Nanoha and her team, their hands full of items, including a refrigerator.
“I really love the Terran power armor, it enhances our strength by the factor of 2,” one mage said. “Fate, look what I found in the ruins of Cranagan,” Nanoha said. She handed Fate the picture of her biological mother along with her original self, Alicia. It was stained with dirt but Fate could see well enough. “Thank you, Nanoha. Its memories are painful but they are what I have to remind me that I have a purpose in life,” Fate said with tears in her eyes. “Glad I could help in some way, Fate. Now would you excuse me, Yukihara is looking for me,” Nanoha said. She stripped away her armor and revealed her original Barrier Jacket. Nanoha exited the garage.
“As of 10 minutes ago, we received a distress signal coming from the excavation site where Angel Heart was buried. Our operators concluded that survivors are in that cave and we need to get them out as soon as possible. Nanoha, you have the job of retrieving them since I trust you know better than any of our incompetent leaders here on what to do,” Brigadier General Yukihara said in full authority. “What do you mean by incompetent? You chose Nanoha because you favored her as a more experience commander after most of our high rankers gone missing prior to the Nuclear Armageddon,” a dissatisfied commander complained. Yukihara stared at him with such a cold look that he dared say nothing after that. “If you have any objections, prove to me that you are better than Nanoha and I shall consider,” she said. “Ma’am, don’t be cold on them. Some may have better skills than me and I suggest that you give them roles to play,” Nanoha said kindly. Yukihara stared at her for a while and nodded. “Very well, I’ll do that. Anyway, the rest of you disperse except for you, Nanoha. I want to talk to you in private,” she said.
After the room was cleared, Yukihara beckoned Nanoha to sit beside her on the sofa. “Nanoha, you have grown strong over the months and you are the only competent one here. If you encourage those fools, they’ll be nothing but trouble,” Yukihara said. “Ma’am, encouragement is what they need. I don’t blame them for being demoralized, especially after the Nuclear Armageddon. We are running out of options and I know the others are aware about it,” Nanoha said. “If that is so, can I appoint you to another important post?” Yukihara asked. Nanoha nodded. “I want you to be the leader to all the commanders. I hope that under your guidance, they may improve. Can you do that for me?” the Brigadier General asked. Nanoha stood up and saluted with a sweet smile she usually has on her face. “You can count on me, ma’am,” she replied. At the preparation room, she had some time to eat before going out. Yuuno, who has no job to do but to take care of Vivio, came to the room to hand Nanoha some food. “Going out for another run?” Yuuno asked. “Yes but it may take some time,” Nanoha said as she put on her boots. “You know, I hate it when they treat you like some kind of tool. You’ve been overworking and I’m worried that you might fall sick,” Yuuno said.
“I’ll be fine, Yuuno. Believe it,” Nanoha said and gave Yuuno a wink.
I'm planning on elaborating the next scene from the first version. When Syn and Vivio were talking about everything, Syn was talking about trust while Vivio was specifically talking about how her job wasn't bad. I plan on adding into the next part where the two of them realize that they aren't seeing eye-to-eye and are talking about differnt things. From there I will go on to elaberate each girl's side. Complications like this arn't solved in one topic, it might take two or three to really understand what the other is saying. Misunderstandings are common and I wanted to put that in.
I'm planning on elaborating the next scene from the first version. When Syn and Vivio were talking about everything, Syn was talking about trust while Vivio was specifically talking about how her job wasn't bad. I plan on adding into the next part where the two of them realize that they aren't seeing eye-to-eye and are talking about differnt things. From there I will go on to elaberate each girl's side. Complications like this arn't solved in one topic, it might take two or three to really understand what the other is saying. Misunderstandings are common and I wanted to put that in.
That goes without saying. But both trust and understanding one's work are both big topics in a relationship; and let's just face it, misunderstandings happen in every form of relationship. Any misunderstanding can really take things too far.
Tia grabbed Yuuno by the collar of his shirt and thrust him up against the wall. "Where the hell is she!?"
Yuuno smirked as he stared down at the girl, not seeming to care that his feet weren't touching the ground. Instead of answering her, he allowed Fate to reply on his behalf. "Let him down Tia, if violence worked against him then I wouldn't have spent so much for what I needed."
"The hell I will!" Tia snarled, turning back to Yuuno only to find that her hands were suddenly empty. She blinked once before whipping around to see Yuuno standing in front of Fate. "how the hell!?"
Yuuno pushed up the glasses on his face with one finger, looking at Tia from the corner of his eye. "There are four types of people that make our business work, Tia. Transporters, Retrievers, Thieves, and Contractors. Contractors work with everyone so they are often attacked the most."
"Yuuno is someone who you don't want to be on the wrong side of." Fate spoke calmly before looking at the man again. "Information, Yuuno. I need to find Nanoha."
Tia slammed her fist against the wall, spreading small cracks all along it. "How can you be so damn calm!?"
Once the snickering had died down and Jack was discouraged from tossing Daniel over the railing, the group turned back to the training field below.
"Now I'm sure you are all familiar with what a stereotypical mage is," began Hayate. "Someone who chants incantations with a special object or magic circle to use their magic to use spells. We do similar actions when using our own spells. We form magical arrays when using a spell. Instead of chanting spells we store them as programs in our Devices, though more powerful spells can still require time to prepare."
Samantha slightly nodded at the explanation, absorbing all the information. "So in sense you are all mages supplemented by technology."
"That's probably one way to look at it. We're all different in what types of magic we use. Fate-chan, for instance, is a melee specialist while Nanoha-chan uses long-range and area of effect spells."
"You make her sound like an artillery unit," remarked Jack.
Shamal giggled, "Oh you could say something like that."
Before he could question the blond, a pink light caught his attention as nanoha formed her array. "What's that?"
"That," answered Hayate, "is a Mid-Childian magic array. It's what Mid-type mages use when they cast spells."
On the field Nanoha pulled up a screen and inputted a few command. When the screen vanished, a small object formed at her feet. Due to the distance SG-1 was unable to make out what it was and turned to the monitors for a better look.
"A can?" questioned Samantha.
Fate nodded. "You'll see."
Puzzled by how a can would be relevant to the demonstration, they turned their attention back to Nanoha. A small, pink sphere materialized by her side as she tossed the can into the air.
"Shoot!"
The orb of magic shot away from the mage and connected with the corner of the can, sending it spinning higher into the air. It curved around and collided again before the can could reach its apex, sending it even higher into the air.
"Nanoha-chan is also a user of Shooting-type spells," Hayate stated. "This type of magic use lets the user use guided or unguided magical attacks. In her case she's using a guided-type spell."
"I would imagine that this type of magic would require intense concentration," commented Teal'c as he watched the tiny pink sphere zip around.
"It does. But mages who are proficient in it can do quite a bit more."
The group continued to watch as the sphere knocked the can into the air again. Only this time the impact caused the can to send out a dozen clones of itself in various directions. Before anyone could comment, a matching number of magic spheres materialized and shot out at the newly formed cans. The SG team watched in amazement as each sphere kept its respective can in the air with Nanoha showing no signs of intense concentration or stress. Even Teal'c had his eyebrows raised in surprise at the sight.
Hayate giggled at her guests' reaction. "You should see when she does some more serious practice. I've seen her control over three dozen before."
"Three dozen?" Samantha said in surprise. "And she controls each one of them?"
"Mmm, pretty much. There's some assistance from her Device but it's pretty much all her."
"That's...just amazing."
"That's our Nanoha-chan," she replied with a smile. "Oh, it looks like she's going to finish up."
Looking back down at the field, they noticed that the cans had shifted from around the mage to farther down the field. The magic spheres continued to zip around, keeping the cans airborne. Then they all hit at once, sending the cans into the air in a large group before vanishing. Nanoha gripped her Device with both hands and aimed at the flying cans.
"Divine..."
SG-1 watched as some magic rings began to rotate around her Device. What did catch their attention was the pink glow building at the end.
"Buster!"
A large stream of pink magic exploded from the Device. It engulfed all of the can, eradicating the holographic projects instantly. With a smile on her face, Nanoha lowered her Device and gave a victory sign up to the observers.
"So, how was that?" asked Hayate.
From the schocked expressions on their faces the mages guessed they were not expecting something like that. Teal'c even had his mouth opened slightly in surprise at the display. Jack was the first to close his mouth and address the mages.
I felt wrath running through my veins, I quickly grabbed the sheriff's shotgun and then I shot against the Banshee, the demon dodged the projectile.
“What do you want?!!!” I screamed while reloading, then I shot again, the Banshee dodge again.
“WHAT DO YOU WANT?!!!” I demanded again while reloading once more “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!!! WHY YOU HAVE COME?!!! WHAT DO YOU WANT?!!!”
I was gonna shot again, but the Banshee released one of her deadly screams, the sound broke all the windows on the place, I fell covering my eyes, the sound was horrible.
The Banshee stopped her attack, shaking I tried to stand up, her scream had leaved me hare-brained, I tried to aim at her once again, but the cursed spirit charged against me and with a hit I was launched to the AMMO locker.
I opened my eyes, the pain of the hit merely allowed me to move, I saw the Banshee approaching to me, she then stopped and started to charge something, I understood what it was, with all my strength, I jumped away of the AMMO locker just in time tom avoid the acid that the Banshee had just throw, the corrosive liquid reduced all the guns and cartridges to nothing, I took the opportunity and jumped to the back of the creature, she turned to see me, big mistake, I placed the shotgun's canon in the big hole that once was her face.
“I'm tired of you!” I pulled the trigger blowing the head of the Banshee in pieces, she wasn't able even to scream, her body fell, turning into ashes, I fell over my knees near the hole in which Karil had disappeared, tired, I stood up, the place was being consumed by the same fire that burned the wall from which the Banshee came inn, I looked at my shotgun. No cartridges, I used the last one to kill the Banshee, also, all of the other weapons or cartridges had been destroyed by the Banshee's acid.
I dropped the useless gun and looked around, I spotted on a corner an Axe, like the ones used to cut wood, I grabbed it and used it to pass trough the same hole from which Karil was kidnapped, I needed to find it, I couldn't loose her, I used the Axe to make the hole bigger and pass trough it, I kept the Axe, it was my only weapon.
I jumped inside the hole and after a short fall, I landed on some kind of passage, it was dark, I wasn't able to see anything, look for some of the wooden pieces of the hole I made and with a match and a piece of my dress, I worked a torch, it was only able to illuminate me, but at least it was better than being trapped in the middle of darkness.
There was only one way to go, and it was straight, I began to walk, almost running, I needed to find her, I couldn't loose her, not again, she was my family, my friend, she was part of me! I just couldn't loose her. My desperation was reflected on the speed of my steps, I just kept running and running trough that passage, Karil... Karil... was all that I could think.
“Hhahahahaha!!!” I suddenly heard, this evil laugh again
“Who's there?!” I asked, pointing the torch's flame at all directions
“Hhahahahaha!!!” I heard again
“WHO'S THERE?!!!” I demanded again
“You're gonna loose her... the same way you loose them” The voice replied
I suddenly felt strange again, I fell over my knees with a horrible pain coming out of my head, I closed my eyes, and what I saw this time... It was like Hell... I saw them... Alphonse, Helga, Jasper, Pink and my parents... I saw them when they died, when I couldn't do nothing to protect them, when I loose them.
“AGHHHH!!!” I screamed, like trying to scare away these images who were torturing me, sweating I opened my eyes, scared of closing them again, I heard the laugh again, infernal symbols appeared on the walls illuminating the way out of the passage, a little hole in the top of the passage's end.
“Bag is waiting for you... Bag is gonna kill you...” I heard from this voice, after this, the symbols vanished and the voice disappeared from my head.
I quickly stood up and ran at the exit that was pointed by the symbols dropping the torch in the way, I came out of the passage through the little hole, I was now in a big house, half destroyed, the place was silent, not a single sound, I spotted a door at my side, I opened it and go trough it, in the other side, I found myself in the middle of a big store, bags of grain and boxes dropped on the corners, in the middle of the room though, there was a person standing there, but not any person, it was the Mayor.
Spoiler for Event 2:
Spoiler for Ending theme: Once Upon a December:
Spoiler for The Bag:
-cut-
Typos? I think I finally made it
Although that was probably not the intention, I began laughing when the mayor just decided to pray for his life. It was probably knowing that it wouldn't make a difference. His death didn't come as a surprise at all. Seeing Vivio was surprising as she manages to actually look older than the usual Vivio we see. I always forget this takes place 10 years after VK1 and people usually age in 10 years.
I don't get one thing: "the sound broke all the windows on the place, I fell covering my eyes, the sound was horrible." Vivio is covering her eyes from sound? I realize the second time that she was covering her eyes from the broken window pieces, but the mention afterwards that the sound is horrible makes it peculiar that she doesn't cover her ears as first instinct. Or even better - attempt to cover her whole head.
Also:
Spoiler for chapter 3 typos:
Chapter:
Quote:
then I shot against the Banshee
against -> towards (not exactly a mistake, but it would me more logical to shoot towards the Banshee)
Quote:
the Banshee dodge again.
dodge -> dodged
Quote:
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!!! WHY YOU HAVE COME?!!!
WHY YOU HAVE COME?!!! -> WHY HAVE YOU COME?!!!
Quote:
I was gonna shot again,
gonna shot -> going to shoot
Quote:
the pain of the hit merely allowed me to move,
merely -> barely
Quote:
I saw the Banshee approaching to me,
to me -> me
Quote:
I jumped away of the AMMO locker just in time tom avoid the acid
tom -> to
Quote:
that the Banshee had just throw,
throw -> thrown
Quote:
the wall from which the Banshee came inn,
inn -> in
Quote:
I spotted on a corner an Axe,
on -> in
Axe -> axe
Quote:
used it to pass trough the same hole from which Karil was kidnapped,
through -> through
from which -> through which
Quote:
I used the Axe to make the hole bigger and pass trough it, I kept the Axe,
Axe -> axe
Quote:
look for some of the wooden pieces of the hole I made and with a match and a piece of my dress, I worked a torch,
look -> I looked
I made -> I had made
worked -> worked out
Quote:
I just kept running and running trough that passage,
trough -> through
Quote:
pointing the torch's flame at all directions
at all -> in all
Quote:
the same way you loose them”
loose -> lost
Quote:
when I couldn't do nothing to protect them,
couldn't do nothing -> couldn't do anything OR could do nothing
Quote:
when I loose them.
loose -> lost
Quote:
these images who were torturing me,
who -> that
Quote:
dropping the torch in the way,
in the way -> on the way
Quote:
I opened it and go trough it,
go -> went
Quote:
in the other side,
in -> on
Event:
Quote:
has take everyone away
take -> taken
Quote:
take everyone?
take -> taken
Quote:
God, be merceful
merceful -> merciful
Scroll:
monstruos -> monstrous
the human kind -> humankind
been -> being
descomunal -> ??
mean -> means
strenght -> strength
bone -> bones
There's less and less errors with each chapter. And some of these were plain old keyboarding mistakes. Also, something that I noticed: There's quite a lot of sentences that are very... long and with lots of commas, that just never end. I think it might help the flow to shorten some of them.
From the schocked expressions on their faces the mages guessed they were not expecting something like that. Teal'c even had his mouth opened slightly in surprise at the display. Jack was the first to close his mouth and address the mages.
My system still isn't up yet, but we got my hardware backed up so I can access my files on my father's computer. As such, I got the chance to finally finish chapter three of Bless the Broken Road.
On the downside, this now means I need to save it on my flashdrive so I can load it onto my computer when the system starts again and keep it up-to-date.
(The repair disc is coming any day now...)
Anyway, I present to you: chapter 3 of Bless the Broken Road!
Spoiler for Bless the Broken Road: From the Picket Fence:
Chapter 3: From the Picket Fence
Elise resisted the childish urge to squirm, wincing a little as Shamal carefully covered her stomach with bandages. Healing had soothed the worst of the damage, though the bodyguard would still feel sore for a little while; she was also liable to start bleeding again if she moved around too much, so the bandaging was just an extra precaution. Shamal’s lips quirked slightly, and Elise frowned. “What?”
“I didn’t think you were the squeamish type, McGaren-san.”
“Please.” Elise snorted, hissing softly as the bandages dug into her sore flesh. “I’ve seen enough blood.” She laughed softly and closed her eyes. “The last time it rattled me, I was ten years old.”
Shamal glanced at Elise’s face, but the blonde’s eyes were unreadable. She applied the last bandage as gently as she could and pulled away, brushing her hands together in satisfaction. “You must have had an interesting childhood,” she commented mildly, hoping to start a conversation.
Elise blinked; she felt a painful surge of heat in her chest and grimaced, one hand instinctively fisting over the offending area. Stupid, stupid, she scolded herself mentally. I haven’t tapped into my power for fifteen years, why did I think it would be so easy to just use it once? She sighed. At least I didn’t go berserk.
“McGaren-san?”
She smiled bitterly.
“Sorry. I don’t really like to remember my childhood.”
“Ow! I swear, Miyuki, if you don’t lower that antiseptic this instant—owowowowow!”
Miyuki’s lips twitched slightly as she gently pressed the wet pad to one of the cuts on Fiasse’s cheek, ignoring the older woman’s loud complaints. “Honestly, Fiasse,” she murmured, eyes twinkling. “You’re twenty-seven years old. Shouldn’t you have gotten over this by now?”
“But it really hurts! If I’d known how much it would sting, I wouldn’t have let that familiar sneak up on me!”
Sweet Song flared to life then, his voice breaking the sudden melancholy that had darkened Miyuki’s eyes. “Ma’am has never changed,” he cheerfully informed the dark-haired woman. “She still hates to feel pain though she consistently puts herself in positions that end with her feeling pain.”
“Hey.” Grimacing, Fiasse’s fingers closed around Sweet Song and gave the cross a small shake. “You’re saying too much, Sweet Song.” “I only speak the truth.”
Fiasse laughed gently, her fingers stroking the purple stone set in the cross in an affectionate gesture. “He means well,” she admitted, looking warmly at Miyuki. “I just don’t enjoy listening to him.” When Miyuki didn’t respond, merely ducked her head, her eyes softened. “Miyuki.”
Shaking her head quickly, Miyuki rose and turned away. She didn’t get very far; Fiasse’s hand shot out, her fingers closed on her wrist, and the older woman gave a gentle tug, yanking Miyuki back into her arms. Fiasse rested her chin on Miyuki’s shoulder and closed her eyes, sighing softly. “You shouldn’t blame yourself every time I get hurt,” she murmured. “It can’t be good for your health.”
“It’s not, actually.” Miyuki laughed, albeit weakly, and her hand covered Fiasse’s. “But it isn’t something I can just turn off.”
Fiasse smiled and nuzzled Miyuki’s neck as the younger woman leaned back into her embrace.
“I said it was bad for your health. I never said anything about turning it off.”
Zafira paused for a few minutes, inhaling deeply and letting what remained of the rogue familiar’s magic seep into his senses. He opened his eyes, and they flashed crimson in the darkness. “No,” he said at last, leaning back against the construction beam as he and Arf scouted out in a deserted construction site. “We got here too late. If anything was left behind, it’s gone now.”
Arf scowled, rocking back on her heels and flattening her ears. “Damn,” she murmured, slumping down and letting her legs dangle in the air. “This is getting on my nerves.” The golden wedding band she wore around her neck gleamed weakly in the streetlight.
“We’ll catch them. It’s only a matter of time.”
“It’s not that!” The dog familiar shook her head violently. “I mean, it is… but… the timing is awful.” She sighed. “The heads of the TSAB are considering giving rights to familiars, and now this starts.”
He understood; Zafira always understood things in his own wordless way. He leaned back against the pillar and sank down, his tail dropping into thin air, but he didn’t mind. He’d never had a fear of heights; you usually didn’t when you could fly. “Think of it this way,” he offered. “It could have happened after a decision was made and they could have yanked those rights away again.”
Arf scowled at him from her place; in a flash she was in his lap, gently knocking her hand against his chest as he smirked. “You always have an answer for everything,” she muttered, but her arm nonetheless snaked around his neck as she rested her cheek against his chest, her other hand gently playing with the wedding band he wore around his neck. “It gets kind of annoying after awhile.”
Amused and loving, Zafira wrapped an arm around Arf’s waist while his other hand rested on her head, gently stroking her hair. “You’re the one who wanted to get married,” he teased softly.
“You’re the one who proposed.” Pulling back, Arf bumped her nose against Zafira’s as her lips twitched. “And I said yes, for whatever reason.”
“Regretting it?”
Arf sighed and closed her eyes, tucking her head under Zafira’s chin. “Give me ninety years or so,” she murmured. “I’ll get back to you.”
The smack rang loudly in the dark corridors of the ancient mansion, making Glory cringe slightly; she flattened her ears and twitched her tail nervously, but Fury’s eyes were stony as he turned his head back to look at Blaze, three bleeding claw marks now decorating his cheek.
Blaze’s eyes were blazing (Ha ha. A pun. Funny. No, really. In another time or place, Glory would have laughed at the thought.) with anger. The lion familiar hadn’t earned his place as the leader of the trio without good reason, and he looked the part; he towered over Glory and Fury, with regal golden eyes and a thick, tawny mane. His whole body trembled with barely suppressed fury, and Glory knew it wouldn’t take much for him to pounce the tiger familiar.
“Okay, both of you, break it up now.” Determined to stop the bloodshed before it started, the leopard familiar stepped between them, placing a hand on Blaze’s chest and keeping a watchful eye on Fury. “Blaze, you’ve already chewed Fury out more than he needs to hear, and he’ll be a willing punching bag when we practice this evening. Besides, you need to go report to our mistress.”
She felt the subtle tightening of his muscles beneath the palm of her hand and felt a surge of fear; she was the youngest of the three, and while perfectly capable of holding her own in a fight, didn’t know how well she’d do against Blaze’s anger. After a moment, though, the lion familiar turned away. “Be grateful,” he growled over his shoulder. “She could have killed you, Fury, all because you weren’t patient.”
Fury bristled, his eyes flaring with fresh outrage, but a pleading growl from Glory stopped him in his tracks. As Blaze faded into the shadows, he narrowed his eyes. “Dammit, I hate him,” he hissed, grimacing a little as Glory gently touched his cheek to survey the damage.
“He only does it because he loves you, Fury. He doesn’t know any other way to show it.”
The cuts looked painful, but they were shallow and only bled a little bit; all they needed was some fresh bandages to keep out infection and they’d heal up in no time. Glory wasn’t surprised; if Blaze had truly meant to strike Fury, the tiger familiar would be dead.
“Sorry you had to get into that,” Fury muttered. “I know how much you hate it when we fight.”
The leopard familiar laughed softly.
“We’re the three great cats. Fighting’s all we’re good for.”
The smile Nanoha gave Kuon as she rested her forehead against the glass of the window was meant to soothe the fox familiar’s worry, but if anything it only increased it. “Nyahaha… I’m fine. Don’t worry.” She winced and blew out a long breath, closing her eyes as her body shuddered. “I guess trying to take that last shot did me in. Good thing Onee-sama stopped me.”
Kuon flicked her ear and frowned worriedly, resting her hand on Nanoha’s arm. She felt the tremors rippling through the teenager’s body, heard the way her breath caught and wheezed through her lungs. It wasn’t unusual for Nanoha to be worn out after a session with Elise, but today had pushed her to new extremes.
By the look of things, her body was taking it badly.
Nanoha hadn’t fired her last shot, but there was no doubt in Kuon’s mind that the amount of magic she’d summoned was greater than anything she’d harnessed through Raising Heart in the past four years. She’d been guided by her heart, not her head, and now she was paying the price. Nanoha grimaced and bit her body lip, closing her eyes as sweat beaded her brow. Sensing her discomfort Kuon gently began to stroke her hair and rub her back, gestures meant to soothe.
“Master?”
The brunette smiled at the obvious concern in Raising Heart’s mechanical voice. “It’s all right, Raising Heart,” she assured the small device. “I’m fine. Just a little backlash. I need a few minutes to catch my breath, is all.”
Kuon was about to say something, but the words never had a chance to leave her throat; she glanced up at the sound of soft footsteps and blinked. “Hello,” she said at last. Wondering what had attracted the fox girl’s attention, Nanoha lifted her head.
Fate wasn’t sure what to make of the situation. She’d heard voices as she’d walked, true, and she could have easily avoided them; but she’d been too distracted by her own thoughts to pay much mind to who was speaking. By the time she’d realized what she’d walked into, it was too late to back out.
Fate’s memories of Nanoha had always had one thing in common: in every memory, whether she was transformed or just her normal self, Nanoha had always looked strong. Strong, healthy, and sure of herself, a glint in her eyes and a smile on her face. Even after four years the image hadn’t faded, if only because it was all Fate had had left of her.
The Nanoha that looked at her now, apprehension and fear in her eyes, was another story. The years had been kind to Nanoha; she’d matured well, growing into a beautiful young woman that could attract attention from both genders.
But she wasn’t the Nanoha Fate remembered.
Her face was pale, and slick with sweat, and loose strands of hair clung to her skin. Her dark eyes, instead of gleaming playfully, were weary—only a weak gleam of laughter lit them now. She wasn’t standing straight but hunched over, as though trying to fight off some internal pain and failing miserably. There was a faint tremor in her hands and shoulders, a hitch in her breath that hadn’t been there before.
“Fate-chan.” Nanoha’s voice was soft and slightly breathless, but the timid smile was true and pure. “Um… hi.”
Not able to speak, Fate just nodded quietly, sweeping her gaze over Nanoha as though to assure herself that the other girl was there. Beside her, the fox familiar narrowed her eyes and straightened up slightly, placing herself between the two girls.
“Kuon, it’s okay,” Nanoha murmured, trying to soothe her friend. “It’s Fate-chan. She’s a friend of mine. We knew each other when we were kids. She’s not a threat.”
Kuon obviously wasn’t convinced, but she lowered her ears slightly as Nanoha laid a hand on her shoulder. Fate knew she should speak up, say something in her own defense, but her throat was clogged; everything she’d ever wanted to say wasn’t coming out. Here it was, finally, her chance to confront Nanoha, and she didn’t know how to put her feelings into words.
There was anger, yes. And confusion. A sense of betrayal. Pain, definitely.
But there was still the enduring feeling of love.
“Jeez, Nanoha, look at you. You’re a mess.”
The amused voice cut through the silence like a knife and immediately broke the spell; Nanoha’s eyes widened as she whipped around, letting out a cry of delight before tackling a tall, slim blonde-haired woman who had calmly strolled into the area as if she had the right. “Onee-sama!”
Elise accepted the hug, her arms coming around Nanoha in a sisterly embrace, but instinct had her examining the girl’s physical appearance. “Damn,” she murmured, gently tracing Nanoha’s cheek with her fingers. “I can’t leave you alone for a minute, can I? As soon as I do you forget your limits.”
“Are you okay?” Nanoha pulled back to look up at her. “That tiger familiar got you pretty badly…”
“I’ll live. I’ve had worse.”
Nanoha nodded, seeming eased by this, before glancing back at Fate. “Um… Onee-sama, this is Fate-chan. Fate T. Harlaown. We fought together… before.” Seeming more comfortable with Elise’s presence, Nanoha smiled weakly at Fate. “Fate-chan, this is Elise McGaren. She’s been looking out for me since I came to England.”
Fate’s throat chose that moment to start functioning properly. “Nice to meet you, McGaren-san.”
Elise narrowed her eyes, surveying Fate thoughtfully before nodding. “Same goes.”
Though her tone was neutral and her eyes calm, Fate didn’t miss the subtle way Elise’s hand tightened on Nanoha’s shoulder. It wasn’t the grip of a jealous lover, as she’d mistakenly thought the first time she’d seen them together. No, Elise’s whole stance seemed as that of a lioness who had found her cub in some state of distress and was gauging how much of a threat this newcomer posed.
“They’ve been looking for you.” Tearing her eyes from Fate, Elise looked at Nanoha again. “Admiral Haralown wants to go over some details with us about what’s been happening. Fiasse’s been hiding something from me again.”
Once again, words failed her when she needed them most; Fate simply nodded and followed the trio.
Absently, she couldn’t help but note that for someone who had just sustained a painful and possibly fatal blow to the stomach, Elise was moving around with surprising comfort.
Spoiler for Author's Notes and Ramblings:
1. In the Triangle Heart OVA, a running theme/quote for Elise was "I don't like thinking about my childhood/remembering my childhood." While in this instance it's a reference to the OVA, it's also a subtle hint of her background. Actually, I dropped several hints...
2. The relationship between Fiasse and Miyuki is based solely on the OVA and largely speculation on my part. As far as I am aware, the pairing was never canon in Triangle Heart, and I modeled it off of how I interpeted some scenes and dialogue in four episodes. I also intended to originally have their love story be a sub-plot, but in the end I cut it for a more direct approach... it works, right?
3. I realize now, reading back, that the Arf/Zafira bit seems out of context with the rest of the chapter. The issue, however, does come up in chapter 4 and plays a larger role throughout the story, even so far as becoming a theme, if I dare to say it.
4. I didn't want to potray Fury, Blaze, and Glory as just 'bad guys' which is why I characterized them the way I did in this section. Hopefully... it works.
5. Nope, no NanoFate confrontation scene just yet. It's definitely coming up, but not yet; I'd say Elise kind of interrupted the moment, intentionally or not. But overall, this was difficult for me. I wanted to contrast how Nanoha is now to how she was as Fate remembered her, and I wanted to set up a scene where not only is Fate confronted with a very different image of Nanoha, but Elise instinctively wants to protect Nanoha without fully knowing what she's protecting her from. If that came across, then I consider my job complete.
My system still isn't up yet, but we got my hardware backed up so I can access my files on my father's computer. As such, I got the chance to finally finish chapter three of Bless the Broken Road.
On the downside, this now means I need to save it on my flashdrive so I can load it onto my computer when the system starts again and keep it up-to-date.
(The repair disc is coming any day now...)
Anyway, I present to you: chapter 3 of Bless the Broken Road!
Spoiler for Bless the Broken Road: From the Picket Fence:
Chapter 3: From the Picket Fence
Elise resisted the childish urge to squirm, wincing a little as Shamal carefully covered her stomach with bandages. Healing had soothed the worst of the damage, though the bodyguard would still feel sore for a little while; she was also liable to start bleeding again if she moved around too much, so the bandaging was just an extra precaution. Shamal’s lips quirked slightly, and Elise frowned. “What?”
“I didn’t think you were the squeamish type, McGaren-san.”
“Please.” Elise snorted, hissing softly as the bandages dug into her sore flesh. “I’ve seen enough blood.” She laughed softly and closed her eyes. “The last time it rattled me, I was ten years old.”
Shamal glanced at Elise’s face, but the blonde’s eyes were unreadable. She applied the last bandage as gently as she could and pulled away, brushing her hands together in satisfaction. “You must have had an interesting childhood,” she commented mildly, hoping to start a conversation.
Elise blinked; she felt a painful surge of heat in her chest and grimaced, one hand instinctively fisting over the offending area. Stupid, stupid, she scolded herself mentally. I haven’t tapped into my power for fifteen years, why did I think it would be so easy to just use it once? She sighed. At least I didn’t go berserk.
“McGaren-san?”
She smiled bitterly.
“Sorry. I don’t really like to remember my childhood.”
“Ow! I swear, Miyuki, if you don’t lower that antiseptic this instant—owowowowow!”
Miyuki’s lips twitched slightly as she gently pressed the wet pad to one of the cuts on Fiasse’s cheek, ignoring the older woman’s loud complaints. “Honestly, Fiasse,” she murmured, eyes twinkling. “You’re twenty-seven years old. Shouldn’t you have gotten over this by now?”
“But it really hurts! If I’d known how much it would sting, I wouldn’t have let that familiar sneak up on me!”
Sweet Song flared to life then, his voice breaking the sudden melancholy that had darkened Miyuki’s eyes. “Ma’am has never changed,” he cheerfully informed the dark-haired woman. “She still hates to feel pain though she consistently puts herself in positions that end with her feeling pain.”
“Hey.” Grimacing, Fiasse’s fingers closed around Sweet Song and gave the cross a small shake. “You’re saying too much, Sweet Song.” “I only speak the truth.”
Fiasse laughed gently, her fingers stroking the purple stone set in the cross in an affectionate gesture. “He means well,” she admitted, looking warmly at Miyuki. “I just don’t enjoy listening to him.” When Miyuki didn’t respond, merely ducked her head, her eyes softened. “Miyuki.”
Shaking her head quickly, Miyuki rose and turned away. She didn’t get very far; Fiasse’s hand shot out, her fingers closed on her wrist, and the older woman gave a gentle tug, yanking Miyuki back into her arms. Fiasse rested her chin on Miyuki’s shoulder and closed her eyes, sighing softly. “You shouldn’t blame yourself every time I get hurt,” she murmured. “It can’t be good for your health.”
“It’s not, actually.” Miyuki laughed, albeit weakly, and her hand covered Fiasse’s. “But it isn’t something I can just turn off.”
Fiasse smiled and nuzzled Miyuki’s neck as the younger woman leaned back into her embrace.
“I said it was bad for your health. I never said anything about turning it off.”
Zafira paused for a few minutes, inhaling deeply and letting what remained of the rogue familiar’s magic seep into his senses. He opened his eyes, and they flashed crimson in the darkness. “No,” he said at last, leaning back against the construction beam as he and Arf scouted out in a deserted construction site. “We got here too late. If anything was left behind, it’s gone now.”
Arf scowled, rocking back on her heels and flattening her ears. “Damn,” she murmured, slumping down and letting her legs dangle in the air. “This is getting on my nerves.” The golden wedding band she wore around her neck gleamed weakly in the streetlight.
“We’ll catch them. It’s only a matter of time.”
“It’s not that!” The dog familiar shook her head violently. “I mean, it is… but… the timing is awful.” She sighed. “The heads of the TSAB are considering giving rights to familiars, and now this starts.”
He understood; Zafira always understood things in his own wordless way. He leaned back against the pillar and sank down, his tail dropping into thin air, but he didn’t mind. He’d never had a fear of heights; you usually didn’t when you could fly. “Think of it this way,” he offered. “It could have happened after a decision was made and they could have yanked those rights away again.”
Arf scowled at him from her place; in a flash she was in his lap, gently knocking her hand against his chest as he smirked. “You always have an answer for everything,” she muttered, but her arm nonetheless snaked around his neck as she rested her cheek against his chest, her other hand gently playing with the wedding band he wore around his neck. “It gets kind of annoying after awhile.”
Amused and loving, Zafira wrapped an arm around Arf’s waist while his other hand rested on her head, gently stroking her hair. “You’re the one who wanted to get married,” he teased softly.
“You’re the one who proposed.” Pulling back, Arf bumped her nose against Zafira’s as her lips twitched. “And I said yes, for whatever reason.”
“Regretting it?”
Arf sighed and closed her eyes, tucking her head under Zafira’s chin. “Give me ninety years or so,” she murmured. “I’ll get back to you.”
The smack rang loudly in the dark corridors of the ancient mansion, making Glory cringe slightly; she flattened her ears and twitched her tail nervously, but Fury’s eyes were stony as he turned his head back to look at Blaze, three bleeding claw marks now decorating his cheek.
Blaze’s eyes were blazing (Ha ha. A pun. Funny. No, really. In another time or place, Glory would have laughed at the thought.) with anger. The lion familiar hadn’t earned his place as the leader of the trio without good reason, and he looked the part; he towered over Glory and Fury, with regal golden eyes and a thick, tawny mane. His whole body trembled with barely suppressed fury, and Glory knew it wouldn’t take much for him to pounce the tiger familiar.
“Okay, both of you, break it up now.” Determined to stop the bloodshed before it started, the leopard familiar stepped between them, placing a hand on Blaze’s chest and keeping a watchful eye on Fury. “Blaze, you’ve already chewed Fury out more than he needs to hear, and he’ll be a willing punching bag when we practice this evening. Besides, you need to go report to our mistress.”
She felt the subtle tightening of his muscles beneath the palm of her hand and felt a surge of fear; she was the youngest of the three, and while perfectly capable of holding her own in a fight, didn’t know how well she’d do against Blaze’s anger. After a moment, though, the lion familiar turned away. “Be grateful,” he growled over his shoulder. “She could have killed you, Fury, all because you weren’t patient.”
Fury bristled, his eyes flaring with fresh outrage, but a pleading growl from Glory stopped him in his tracks. As Blaze faded into the shadows, he narrowed his eyes. “Dammit, I hate him,” he hissed, grimacing a little as Glory gently touched his cheek to survey the damage.
“He only does it because he loves you, Fury. He doesn’t know any other way to show it.”
The cuts looked painful, but they were shallow and only bled a little bit; all they needed was some fresh bandages to keep out infection and they’d heal up in no time. Glory wasn’t surprised; if Blaze had truly meant to strike Fury, the tiger familiar would be dead.
“Sorry you had to get into that,” Fury muttered. “I know how much you hate it when we fight.”
The leopard familiar laughed softly.
“We’re the three great cats. Fighting’s all we’re good for.”
The smile Nanoha gave Kuon as she rested her forehead against the glass of the window was meant to soothe the fox familiar’s worry, but if anything it only increased it. “Nyahaha… I’m fine. Don’t worry.” She winced and blew out a long breath, closing her eyes as her body shuddered. “I guess trying to take that last shot did me in. Good thing Onee-sama stopped me.”
Kuon flicked her ear and frowned worriedly, resting her hand on Nanoha’s arm. She felt the tremors rippling through the teenager’s body, heard the way her breath caught and wheezed through her lungs. It wasn’t unusual for Nanoha to be worn out after a session with Elise, but today had pushed her to new extremes.
By the look of things, her body was taking it badly.
Nanoha hadn’t fired her last shot, but there was no doubt in Kuon’s mind that the amount of magic she’d summoned was greater than anything she’d harnessed through Raising Heart in the past four years. She’d been guided by her heart, not her head, and now she was paying the price. Nanoha grimaced and bit her body lip, closing her eyes as sweat beaded her brow. Sensing her discomfort Kuon gently began to stroke her hair and rub her back, gestures meant to soothe.
“Master?”
The brunette smiled at the obvious concern in Raising Heart’s mechanical voice. “It’s all right, Raising Heart,” she assured the small device. “I’m fine. Just a little backlash. I need a few minutes to catch my breath, is all.”
Kuon was about to say something, but the words never had a chance to leave her throat; she glanced up at the sound of soft footsteps and blinked. “Hello,” she said at last. Wondering what had attracted the fox girl’s attention, Nanoha lifted her head.
Fate wasn’t sure what to make of the situation. She’d heard voices as she’d walked, true, and she could have easily avoided them; but she’d been too distracted by her own thoughts to pay much mind to who was speaking. By the time she’d realized what she’d walked into, it was too late to back out.
Fate’s memories of Nanoha had always had one thing in common: in every memory, whether she was transformed or just her normal self, Nanoha had always looked strong. Strong, healthy, and sure of herself, a glint in her eyes and a smile on her face. Even after four years the image hadn’t faded, if only because it was all Fate had had left of her.
The Nanoha that looked at her now, apprehension and fear in her eyes, was another story. The years had been kind to Nanoha; she’d matured well, growing into a beautiful young woman that could attract attention from both genders.
But she wasn’t the Nanoha Fate remembered.
Her face was pale, and slick with sweat, and loose strands of hair clung to her skin. Her dark eyes, instead of gleaming playfully, were weary—only a weak gleam of laughter lit them now. She wasn’t standing straight but hunched over, as though trying to fight off some internal pain and failing miserably. There was a faint tremor in her hands and shoulders, a hitch in her breath that hadn’t been there before.
“Fate-chan.” Nanoha’s voice was soft and slightly breathless, but the timid smile was true and pure. “Um… hi.”
Not able to speak, Fate just nodded quietly, sweeping her gaze over Nanoha as though to assure herself that the other girl was there. Beside her, the fox familiar narrowed her eyes and straightened up slightly, placing herself between the two girls.
“Kuon, it’s okay,” Nanoha murmured, trying to soothe her friend. “It’s Fate-chan. She’s a friend of mine. We knew each other when we were kids. She’s not a threat.”
Kuon obviously wasn’t convinced, but she lowered her ears slightly as Nanoha laid a hand on her shoulder. Fate knew she should speak up, say something in her own defense, but her throat was clogged; everything she’d ever wanted to say wasn’t coming out. Here it was, finally, her chance to confront Nanoha, and she didn’t know how to put her feelings into words.
There was anger, yes. And confusion. A sense of betrayal. Pain, definitely.
But there was still the enduring feeling of love.
“Jeez, Nanoha, look at you. You’re a mess.”
The amused voice cut through the silence like a knife and immediately broke the spell; Nanoha’s eyes widened as she whipped around, letting out a cry of delight before tackling a tall, slim blonde-haired woman who had calmly strolled into the area as if she had the right. “Onee-sama!”
Elise accepted the hug, her arms coming around Nanoha in a sisterly embrace, but instinct had her examining the girl’s physical appearance. “Damn,” she murmured, gently tracing Nanoha’s cheek with her fingers. “I can’t leave you alone for a minute, can I? As soon as I do you forget your limits.”
“Are you okay?” Nanoha pulled back to look up at her. “That tiger familiar got you pretty badly…”
“I’ll live. I’ve had worse.”
Nanoha nodded, seeming eased by this, before glancing back at Fate. “Um… Onee-sama, this is Fate-chan. Fate T. Harlaown. We fought together… before.” Seeming more comfortable with Elise’s presence, Nanoha smiled weakly at Fate. “Fate-chan, this is Elise McGaren. She’s been looking out for me since I came to England.”
Fate’s throat chose that moment to start functioning properly. “Nice to meet you, McGaren-san.”
Elise narrowed her eyes, surveying Fate thoughtfully before nodding. “Same goes.”
Though her tone was neutral and her eyes calm, Fate didn’t miss the subtle way Elise’s hand tightened on Nanoha’s shoulder. It wasn’t the grip of a jealous lover, as she’d mistakenly thought the first time she’d seen them together. No, Elise’s whole stance seemed as that of a lioness who had found her cub in some state of distress and was gauging how much of a threat this newcomer posed.
“They’ve been looking for you.” Tearing her eyes from Fate, Elise looked at Nanoha again. “Admiral Haralown wants to go over some details with us about what’s been happening. Fiasse’s been hiding something from me again.”
Once again, words failed her when she needed them most; Fate simply nodded and followed the trio.
Absently, she couldn’t help but note that for someone who had just sustained a painful and possibly fatal blow to the stomach, Elise was moving around with surprising comfort.
Spoiler for Author's Notes and Ramblings:
1. In the Triangle Heart OVA, a running theme/quote for Elise was "I don't like thinking about my childhood/remembering my childhood." While in this instance it's a reference to the OVA, it's also a subtle hint of her background. Actually, I dropped several hints...
2. The relationship between Fiasse and Miyuki is based solely on the OVA and largely speculation on my part. As far as I am aware, the pairing was never canon in Triangle Heart, and I modeled it off of how I interpeted some scenes and dialogue in four episodes. I also intended to originally have their love story be a sub-plot, but in the end I cut it for a more direct approach... it works, right?
3. I realize now, reading back, that the Arf/Zafira bit seems out of context with the rest of the chapter. The issue, however, does come up in chapter 4 and plays a larger role throughout the story, even so far as becoming a theme, if I dare to say it.
4. I didn't want to potray Fury, Blaze, and Glory as just 'bad guys' which is why I characterized them the way I did in this section. Hopefully... it works.
5. Nope, no NanoFate confrontation scene just yet. It's definitely coming up, but not yet; I'd say Elise kind of interrupted the moment, intentionally or not. But overall, this was difficult for me. I wanted to contrast how Nanoha is now to how she was as Fate remembered her, and I wanted to set up a scene where not only is Fate confronted with a very different image of Nanoha, but Elise instinctively wants to protect Nanoha without fully knowing what she's protecting her from. If that came across, then I consider my job complete.
I hope you get that disc, fast.
Liking Elise and Fiasse more and more with every chapter; hard not to when both are so protective of Nanoha. The Arf/Zafira familiar rights issue seemed too sudden to me, because familiars have always been under servitude(mostly) to their creators so 'rights' seem to be rather pointless. A familiar's lifeforce is powered by his/her master and all commands given have to be obeyed, so giving them rights would be like bypassing the master's control. Of course, it'd be better when you're filing for insurance and everything, but wouldn't it all depend on the masters instead? Now I'm just rambling...
Love the NanoFate, even if it's not really NanoFate. XD I still can't wait for the angst to really hit. XP
Starting at part 1 now, as it's the first part after picking back up. I'm going to do this like I did PS!Vivio, as in quoting my past posts when I add a new one.
Spoiler for Vampire Fate pt. 1:
The dust on the roof of the building I landed on after my three story jump spun away from the impact area. Before it had a chance to settle once more I was already across the site, leaping to a building that was two stories taller. I cleared the jump cleanly and saw Tia grip the side of the fenced off area before kicking up off of it to flip herself up the rest of the way. The girl was good for being so young, and I felt a little bit thankful that she was working along with me at the current moment.
I knew Nanoha was in danger, and from Tia's reaction, so was Subaru. we both ran together and leapt again, falling a good ways before landing and then jumping the rest of the way to the ground. I landed and Tia rolled, springing ahead of me for a moment before we both stopped and stared at an note nailed into a wall of the allyway with a cross.
The paper was void of words, instead it only had two red smears on it. One I could recognize as Nanoha's instantly from the unsettling sickness in my stomach, and the other I had associated with Subaru because it smelt faintly of the girl next to me.
"Bitch!" Tia's swear was loud, ringing out as she ripped the note from the wall. I had only a moment to act, tackling the stupid child to the side as a bright explosion tore the wall apart. Several pellets of metal embedded in the stone behind us and the concrete beneath our bodies.
As I stood up, I glared at Tia and spoke with a small snarl in my voice. "And you called me stupid the first time we met?"
"Stow it, I wanted to get their scent so I could sniff them out."
I rolled my eyes. "Please, if it were that easy I would have never had to make connections to get information." I began to speed walk out of the alley before any police came to investigate the sudden explosion that had caused so much chaos around us.
"Where are you going!?" Tia ran after me. "Do you have any clues? so help me if you hold out-"
I shook my head at her. "First you need to calm down, you won't get anywhere being rash."
"So where?"
"To a night club. I have a feeling someone is waiting for me there."
For any new people, you vote by giving me a large, pink letter for who's POV you want to continue with.
A.) Nanoha
B.) Fate
Starting at part 1 now, as it's the first part after picking back up. I'm going to do this like I did PS!Vivio, as in quoting my past posts when I add a new one.
Spoiler for Vampire Fate pt. 1:
The dust on the roof of the building I landed on after my three story jump spun away from the impact area. Before it had a chance to settle once more I was already across the site, leaping to a building that was two stories taller. I cleared the jump cleanly and saw Tia grip the side of the fenced off area before kicking up off of it to flip herself up the rest of the way. The girl was good for being so young, and I felt a little bit thankful that she was working along with me at the current moment.
I knew Nanoha was in danger, and from Tia's reaction, so was Subaru. we both ran together and leapt again, falling a good ways before landing and then jumping the rest of the way to the ground. I landed and Tia rolled, springing ahead of me for a moment before we both stopped and stared at an note nailed into a wall of the allyway with a cross.
The paper was void of words, instead it only had two red smears on it. One I could recognize as Nanoha's instantly from the unsettling sickness in my stomach, and the other I had associated with Subaru because it smelt faintly of the girl next to me.
"Bitch!" Tia's swear was loud, ringing out as she ripped the note from the wall. I had only a moment to act, tackling the stupid child to the side as a bright explosion tore the wall apart. Several pellets of metal embedded in the stone behind us and the concrete beneath our bodies.
As I stood up, I glared at Tia and spoke with a small snarl in my voice. "And you called me stupid the first time we met?"
"Stow it, I wanted to get their scent so I could sniff them out."
I rolled my eyes. "Please, if it were that easy I would have never had to make connections to get information." I began to speed walk out of the alley before any police came to investigate the sudden explosion that had caused so much chaos around us.
"Where are you going!?" Tia ran after me. "Do you have any clues? so help me if you hold out-"
I shook my head at her. "First you need to calm down, you won't get anywhere being rash."
"So where?"
"To a night club. I have a feeling someone is waiting for me there."
For any new people, you vote by giving me a large, pink letter for who's POV you want to continue with.
A.) Nanoha
B.) Fate
Nice, it's great to have Vampire!Fate going on again! Thanks for the update Sa-nyan!
Voting A for Nanoha, because I don't remember what happened to her
Starting at part 1 now, as it's the first part after picking back up. I'm going to do this like I did PS!Vivio, as in quoting my past posts when I add a new one.
Spoiler for Vampire Fate pt. 1:
The dust on the roof of the building I landed on after my three story jump spun away from the impact area. Before it had a chance to settle once more I was already across the site, leaping to a building that was two stories taller. I cleared the jump cleanly and saw Tia grip the side of the fenced off area before kicking up off of it to flip herself up the rest of the way. The girl was good for being so young, and I felt a little bit thankful that she was working along with me at the current moment.
I knew Nanoha was in danger, and from Tia's reaction, so was Subaru. we both ran together and leapt again, falling a good ways before landing and then jumping the rest of the way to the ground. I landed and Tia rolled, springing ahead of me for a moment before we both stopped and stared at an note nailed into a wall of the allyway with a cross.
The paper was void of words, instead it only had two red smears on it. One I could recognize as Nanoha's instantly from the unsettling sickness in my stomach, and the other I had associated with Subaru because it smelt faintly of the girl next to me.
"Bitch!" Tia's swear was loud, ringing out as she ripped the note from the wall. I had only a moment to act, tackling the stupid child to the side as a bright explosion tore the wall apart. Several pellets of metal embedded in the stone behind us and the concrete beneath our bodies.
As I stood up, I glared at Tia and spoke with a small snarl in my voice. "And you called me stupid the first time we met?"
"Stow it, I wanted to get their scent so I could sniff them out."
I rolled my eyes. "Please, if it were that easy I would have never had to make connections to get information." I began to speed walk out of the alley before any police came to investigate the sudden explosion that had caused so much chaos around us.
"Where are you going!?" Tia ran after me. "Do you have any clues? so help me if you hold out-"
I shook my head at her. "First you need to calm down, you won't get anywhere being rash."
"So where?"
"To a night club. I have a feeling someone is waiting for me there."
For any new people, you vote by giving me a large, pink letter for who's POV you want to continue with.
A.) Nanoha
B.) Fate
2009-01-22, 07:50
Author
I realize the second time that she was covering her eyes from the broken window pieces, but the mention afterwards that the sound is horrible makes it peculiar that she doesn't cover her ears as first instinct. Or even better - attempt to cover her whole head. 
And some of these were plain old keyboarding mistakes. Also, something that I noticed: There's quite a lot of sentences that are very... long and with lots of commas, that just never end. I think it might help the flow to shorten some of them.
