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Old 2014-04-19, 04:27   Link #52301
Fireminer
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But there is Mars Zeon's F90, remember?
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Old 2014-04-19, 04:33   Link #52302
wavehawk
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Originally Posted by Fireminer View Post
But there is Mars Zeon's F90, remember?
- Hai, hai. My little Zeon F90 can't be this cute.


Although to be fair, the Mars Zeon F90 was a Feddy mech to begin with. Please keep somewhat on topic, BTW.
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Old 2014-04-19, 04:37   Link #52303
ZeroXSEED
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Originally Posted by wavehawk View Post
Although to be fair, the Mars Zeon F90 was a Feddy mech to begin with. Please keep somewhat on topic, BTW.
It's on topic because miner want to write crossover with gundam...

But really, should focus on bigger things instead of tiny details.
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Old 2014-04-19, 05:30   Link #52304
Fireminer
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So, after a while of reconsideration, here is the chart:

Ichika: Little brother of the ESF and Londo Bell ace, "Brundhild". Just recently joined Londo Bell himself.

Houki: Former Zeon Nobility, now leads the remnants on Mars.

Cecilia: Daughter of and heir of Alcott's conglometer, former enemy and now a branch of AE.

Rin: Ace of ESF, now requested to transfer to Londo Bell.

Laura: Second generation of Newtype Clone.

Charlotte: Like Cecilia, but the Dunois is close relative of the Vist.

Kanzashi and Tatenashi: parents are former supporter of Zeon Deikun. After the assasination, they come into hiding in Side 1.

Chifuyu: Former Ace and now the Captain of Ra-Cailcum class "Mondo Grosso". Student of Bright and Amuro.

Maya: Vice Captain of Mondo Grosso.

Story: Londo Bell force lost a ship during a patrol near Mars. The Mondo Grosso and Phantom Tasks crew was ordered to find the reason. When they found the Remnants, the high commander command to kill everyone, which PT gladly do it. Mondo Grosso decided to defect, therefore start a war for independence of Mars, as well as fighting the Cosmo Babylonia, whic PT is a part of - they are the ones who sinked the ship, in fear of ES detect one of their lab.
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Old 2014-04-19, 05:32   Link #52305
wavehawk
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Originally Posted by ZeroXSEED View Post
But really, should focus on bigger things instead of tiny details.
- Tiny details are worth it if you can make use of it. If it builds character or environment for the scene, go for it.
_______________________________

"Sure you don't want any curry?" Kokuto offered the other bowl, but couldn't resist planting sarcasm. "It's cold. Slimy. Black. And it smells like a rat died in it."

"Not hungry." <Ren> mumbled, then walked to one of the mattresses. Wordlessly, she slowly slithered into it. Not even bothering to change clothes.

"Yeah. Thought so." Haruko tossed the other bowl out as well.

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Old 2014-04-19, 05:58   Link #52306
DarkJak2050
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Alright, I'm thinking of having something like this as a part of my fic.

But as a flashback for my guys. Shows one of the things they went through when they were part of Thunder Crash.

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Old 2014-04-19, 07:46   Link #52307
wavehawk
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Okay, let's try this feckin mess again. Take 2 of what I typed and hopefully it makes more sense this time around. Otherwise it's going back for a full third revision while undergoign enough vodka to fuel a Fishing trawler.


Quote:
The drive back home was long and silent.

<Ren> hated cars. Small, tight spaces that were easily used as traps--she had sabotaged a few in her lifetime. They were necessary for transport, even if the one Haruko drove was too cramped for her tastes. But she had no say in the matter. The doctors were against discharging her from the hospital this early, but were overridden. <Ren> still wore a cast on her arm and had to favor her leg when moving around. She distinctly refused to use a crutch, and walked with only a slight hobble to prove it. The doctors still advised at least another month of bed rest.

The Johohonbu did not spare them that much time.

Any argument Haruko made about their current assignment was quashed; HQ advised they were confident that Sarashiki could do a much better job of protecting Orimura. Reluctantly, Haruko packed up from the hospital and drove off right away. It was a long, quiet trip, as IS Academy was situated two and a half hours away from the Japanese capital. Most of the drive was silent. Neither Kokuto or <Ren> had anything to say as they cruised. <Ren> was the first to finally speak.

"How did the Ministry of Justice meeting go?"

"Not too well. The meeting lasted three hours." Haruko was not sure whether to be thankful about the break in silence. From what Kokuto had heard, the rival Koanchosa-cho wasted no time in accusing the Johohonbu agents of everything from dereliction of duty to outright conspiracy with 'the evil foreign powers'. [i]I can't believe we're being told off by idiots with brains still stuck in the 1930's.[i] Aloud: "I sure as hell am glad I wasn't in that room."

"Their priorities haven't changed much." Humored disgust was in <Ren>'s response. "Doesn't this remind you of how they reacted to the water park fiasco between Fan and Alcott?"

"DON'T remind me about that." Kokuto growled, then stopped. The car waited in the traffic, cautiously purring along when the awkward silence between the two returned. Haruko finally broke after a minute. "You and I both know HQ will remove us both from this assignment."

"Oh? You're not happy with that?" <Ren> did not move. Her limbs still hurt too much. "Wouldn't you rather be assigned somewhere else?"

"This isn't funny, <Ren>! If we're no longer safeguarding Orimura Ichika..."

"Admit it." <Ren> kept a deadpan expression as she spoke, looking out the window with practiced boredom. "You enjoy stalking young boys without their knowledge."

I'M NOT A CREEPY PSYCHO LIKE YOU! Haruko bit her lip, suppressing what was either a moan of pain or a groan of impending disaster. All that escaped was a tired breath. "Are you really okay with that?"

<Ren> was silent, not even looking back at Kokuto.

Yeah, I figured you'd say that. Haruko slammed the car horn down in frustration. The car in front screamed obscenities, which she returned in earnest. Apparently, the vigor was enough to cause even <Ren> to look back at her in amazement. "What?"

"Haruko." <Ren> looked about ready to burst into laughter. "Should you be--"

"Shut up." Haruko snapped back. The traffic started moving, and the car crawled just a bit forward. "You know, none of this would have happened if you didn't jump straight into things."

<Ren> was unmoved. "I had a gut feeling. They're usually right."

"Yeah?" Haruko's voice cut sharper than it usually did. "Well, this time it was wrong. Dead wrong."

"All I needed to do was take out that woman."

"SHE HAD AN IS. YOU HAD NO WAY IN HELL." An annoyed Haruko hit the accelerator and took the next offramp back to the coastline. "And not another word about you being able to beat her."

<Ren> continued to stare out the window. "I could have."

"Oh for god's sake. You're whining like a teenaged--" Kokuto stopped at the obvious statment. "Never mind. Just drop it, okay?"

The next few minutes were again filled with silence, before <Ren> spoke again.

"I need to get back to work."

"No, what you need to do is get some rest." Kokuto emphasized. "We're waiting on new orders from HQ. You'll need the recovery time before duty calls."

"Our DUTY is to watch over Orimura Ichika and keep an eye out for Shinonono Tabane. Until I'm told otherwise, that doesn't change." She began, still not looking at Haruko. "All I need are my knives."

"Well, now. That's going to be a problem." Kokuto ran a hand through her hair, fighting the urge to rip it all out. "You see, the Koanchosa-cho paid us a home visit last night."

<Ren> turned to look at her partner, and she looked like cold death. "...what."

<--------------->

"Where the hell are all my knives?"

Kokuto grimaced but remained quiet. The very first thing they saw upon arriving was a home utterly ransacked. Just a day ago, the National Police headed by the Koanchosa-cho had swooped into their little apartment and took most of the equipment there. Haruko's orders from Johohonbu HQ were to allow them full access. The result being that her desktop, hard drives, and files were all confiscated. Even articles of clothing were strewn about. Seeing this, <Ren> had immediately wanted to check on her inventory of blades.

The closet and the secret drawers were ripped out. The wreck of the work desk was unsaveable, and the bed was a shattered heap. Nothing of value was left untouched.

"Figures." Had the situation not been so grim, Kokuto would have laughed at <Ren>'s pained expression. "Even the bread knives?"

"Bread knives. Letter openers. Ballpoint pens. My hard drives. Post-it notes." Haruko pulled up a chair, one of the things the heavy-handed search did not take. She droped into the seat with weary frustration. "They even took my coffee from the fridge, those greedy pigs."

"And you did nothing."

"I'm an analyst. I analyze." Haruko bent her head forward, the lowest stoop and glare she could manage. "You're the field agent."

<Ren> continued to stare at the room. The pain in her right arm returned, aggravating her mood. Had she a knife, it would have been sunk deep in the head of a police officer. Any police officer.

"The Ministry of Justice is holding an inquiry. The Koanchosa-cho have us by the balls. The whole Johohonbu are in too much trouble to complain about it," Kokuto grumbled, taking off her glasses to massage her aching skull. Aside from a can of coffee, Kokuto was wishing for a gun all the more now. If only to put it to her own head and pull the trigger. Between <Ren> and the shuffling insanity that was Japanese inter-service bureaucracy, Haruko was either going to commit suicide or go on a homicidal rampage. Preferably both, though not necesarily in that order. "I'm just waiting for the punchline. Where the top brass sacrifice us both to save their own hides."

Kokuto's phone rang at that moment.

"Nice punchline." <Ren> snapped off, earning her a cold stare.

"Kokuto." Haruko answered, sitting up a little straighter. "Yes sir, they've already been through here." Her posture became more taut at the next question. "Uh, yes sir. She's right here." Blinking, she looked at <Ren> in amazement. Then, she offered her phone to the girl, which <Ren> seemed unable to understand.

"He wants to speak to you."

"Me." <Ren> could see that Kokuto was not kidding.

Cautious. <Ren> picked the phone from Haruko's hand, and slowly put it to her ear. She took in a breath as she listened to the disembodied voice on the other end.

And closed her eyes.

<--------------->

In her dark white dreams, she remembered.

Alone in the musty room, despite the crowds of people all dressed in black. In front of her, a picture, wreathed in black with candles and offerings. The words and stares of the faceless red-garbed people all around as the looked at her with great and utter contempt.

Red. All wore red. There was none dressed to respect the man's passing.

Your father was the most honorable man in this family.
Your father is the most vile traitor to the family.


Your father is a hero.
Your father is a villain.


You must walk in your father's footsteps.
You must bear your father's sins.


One in particular, a boy slightly older than she, walked up to her with cold hatred. The red garb draped on his shoulders made him perfect, yet that perfection and pride was broken. Like the rest of the clan, he poisoned his look with disgust-filled eyes. Unlike the rest, he wore a prideful smile.

Why did they choose you over me? I am more worthy.

She turned and ran.

As a child, and the strides took forever. But eventually she escaped the house, the compound, the place where her father raised her and not left her. With none but the clan to teach her. She didn't know how long she'd run. Only that by the time she stopped, she could see only purple-red skies above and green blades of grass below. And silence that overwhelmed.

She remembered. This was where she first saw the boy, ages ago. A boy her age, who did not look at her with spite or hatred. The first person other than her father or godfather, to treat her kindly.

She could see the sight of him in the distance, through the blades of grass, but the old pain interfered. Blades cutting into her right arm, drawing out the symbol of her clan in ink as red as blood.

"It's not fair."

<--------------->

"Aren't you going to tell me what he said?"

<Ren> remained silent in her seat, unmoved since the morning's phone call.

Kokuto could not be sure if the girl was thinking over her actions or merely sulking. Or even if she had fallen asleep. It was hard to tell, and Haruko wondered if the girl slept with her eyes open. Like a real snake. Since then, she had managed to buy another caseload of coffee cans and some take-away for dinner. Not even bothering to start with food, Haruko tore open the case and started guzzling a can. She emptied it without pause, slumping into her own seat not long afterward.

No response from <Ren> at all. Haruko began to wonder what HQ had told the girl. That they were off the Orimura case was obvious, but there had to be more to it than that. <Ren> had been on the phone for fifteen minutes before wordlessly returning the mobile to Kokuto. Since then, she had simply sunk into a seat. Nothing was said on the call itself, it was more that <Ren> stood recieving orders.

But what orders? Haruko already knew the answer but was unwilling to accept it. Most of the apartment had been tidied up, or at least made livable. A spare pair of matresses were all they had left to sleep on. There was nothing that could be done about the missing files and weapons. She wasn't in the mood for work, not after the whirlwind of the past few days.

"Dinner's served." Kokuto made a show of loudly placing the two plastic bowls on the kitchen countertop. Disposable wooden chopsticks followed. "Beef brisket noodles on the left, curry pork rice on the right. Take your pick."

<Ren> still did not budge.

"Fine, I'll have the noodles." Haruko took the bowl and opened it up, diging in with chopsticks. All the while, eyes on <Ren>'s unmoving form. A grimace as she started to chew on her food. Lukewarm meat and cold gummy egg noodles. Kokuto realized she should have been more wary of a shop that promised 'genuine chinese ramen from Chongqing'. And too much aniseed in the sauce. Are they trying to poison their customers?

"Why don't YOU tell me what his orders are?" <Ren> finally moved. Slowly, she turned her dead snakelike eyes to Haruko. "After all, he advised you of the mission first."

Noodles in mouth, Kokuto stared back at her in dumbfounded silence.

"Act your age and stop acting stupider than you normally do."

Oh, you arrogant little bitch. Haruko spat out the noodles, and her blood started to boil as the bowl flew straight into the sink. "Are you crazy? You're not ready."

"I'll say when I am or am not ready."

"Your ribs are still mending. Your arm and leg aren't fully healed yet, and you think you're ready to go back in the field? And you call ME stupid!" Haruko tossed aside the empty coffee can with more force than necessary. "That assignment's got nothing to do with Orimura Ichika or Tabane Shinonono. It's not connected to Phantom Task. It's not even in our area of responsibility. It's a suicide mission."

"I know." The snakelike eyes grew bladelike in their stare. "And so do you."

"Do you even know what they want you to do?" Kokuto bit her lip fiercely. "They want you to die. And you're somehow PERFECTLY ALL RIGHT WITH THAT."

Despite herself, <Ren> paused. Her answer was an afterthought. "My mission."

"Your mission." Haruko planted hands on her hips and nodded. "Sure you don't want any curry?" Kokuto offered the other bowl, but couldn't resist planting sarcasm. "It's cold. Slimy. Black. And it smells like a rat died in it. Might be a more pleasant method of suicide."

<Ren> glared at her, but Haruko did not back down. Giving up, the younger girl then walked to one of the mattresses. Wordlessly, she slowly slithered into it. Not even bothering to change clothes.

"Yeah. Thought so." Haruko tossed the other bowl out as well.

<--------------->

The blades of grass rustled in her young ears. For a second, she wondered if it was the wind speaking to her. Purple, yellow and red colored the sky. Dawn, not dusk. It had been dark when she ran from the house, from the steps and past the red stone pillars that bordered her family home. How far and how fast, she did not know. But she was here.

Hidden. A litle snake in the grass, hoping not to be found.

"What's your name?"

She spun around to the voice, like a snake about to strike.

A boy.

A boy her age, with black hair and a cheery smile. Standing amidst the taller blades of grass, unaware that he had startled her. The girl that she was stood straight but did not relax. Reflexively, she hid her right arm behind her back. Concealing the mark, wishing she had a weapon at hand. "Why do you want to know?"

"I'm lost. And I don't know anybody." The boy chuckled, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment. "I thought you might be able to help me find my sister."

Strangely familiar. Father did that whenever he laughed. In his voice there seemed to be none of the subterfuge or manipulation she had been accustomed to. Still, she was suspicious. "Why are you asking for my name?"

"My sister told me to be polite and ask someone's name first." The boy seemed incapable of understanding hints or subtext. "What's your name?"

For a moment, the girl hesitated, unsure what to make of the offer. She had trusted no one but her father, and he was gone. Taking every bit of courage in her heart, she finally replied.

"Shiho."

"My name's Ichika." The boy smiled with all the power of the sun. "Nice to meet you!"

Last edited by wavehawk; 2014-04-19 at 07:57.
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Old 2014-04-19, 08:02   Link #52308
Fireminer
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Perfect balance! Pure White to Pitch Black!
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Old 2014-04-19, 09:48   Link #52309
demino_hellsin
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Hmmm... Honne as DJ Sagara? I think she'd be quite popular as the sleepy,sexy but cute net idol.

Then Ran as Mai.

Last edited by demino_hellsin; 2014-04-19 at 21:47.
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Old 2014-04-19, 23:23   Link #52310
Fireminer
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Quote:
"What should we do now, Tatenashi-sama?"

Utsuho's hair, instead tied into a ponytail, now free to flow messily on her shoulder. The glasses hang on her neck, with sweat covered two lenses.

"That is unecessary."

Unlike her subordinate, Tatenashi still keeps her composure. The fan opened to hide a mischievous smile, on it is the word "Art".

"But..."

"Now, now. You don't want to spoil everyone's fun, do you?" Tatenashi points to the exploding crowd, bursting with emotions. "Please stay quiet. I think the next act is going to begin."
---
"Wahhh!!!"

Honne yawns. The trembling legs guide her through the path of destruction. It's abnormal for no grain of ash onto her, though.

"Oh, hello! Do you happen to know where is the prince?"

But more importantly, a dragon is standing in front of her. Litterary. A mechanical lizard with feets that are bigger than a bus standing vertically; a tail that makes the malice noise of "BRRR" when the razor edge running like a chainsaw; two wings that cover 1/3 of the stage if fully opened; and a smile - or is it - that is more about showing the sharp teeth, gladly to crunch through the meaty human underneath it.

"Hey mister dragon, that is really rude to not answer one's question!"

Oh, but it does.

... By using the jaws to grab, then throw Honne upward.

"Weee!" Despite this, the girl still show her excitement. Like a skydiver, she then fall down head first...

... into the dragon's waiting mouth. The audiance could vaguely see a human shape moving down its throat.
Any critic?
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Old 2014-04-20, 03:41   Link #52311
wavehawk
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Originally Posted by Fireminer View Post
Have you ever think a song could describe your fic?
- Yes, but I don't usually pick one. It's more the theme of the music. And different chapters would have different music, dependent on what I want to write. Plus, if you listened to my playlists, it would give away some of my fic themes. Most are OST music from movies, games or anime that have the same theme of the story (EG not the same music that the show officially has).

Kenji Kawai (Ghost in the Shell, Sky Crawlers, The Red Spectacles) is often a go-to for music I listen to when writing. Bear McReary (Battlestar Galactica, Black Sails, Agents of Shield), and Michael McCann (Deus Ex Human Revolution, Splinter Cell Double Agent) are two others when it comes to ambient music. Songs, it would be Sting, Phil Collins, and Billy Joel for english. Japanese it depends but it's usually Nano.

http://youtu.be/GZGghR6ESXQ

Last edited by wavehawk; 2014-04-20 at 03:54.
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Old 2014-04-20, 04:02   Link #52312
Fireminer
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Quote:
"TATENASHI-SAMA, DO SOMETHING!"

Utsuho cries, absolute terror on her face. Even Tatenashi seems astonished, dropping down her fan. But before she could punch a big red button on the control console...
---
Have you ever played Megaman?

If so, then you must remember that after each boss is defeated, light shine from them, then followed by explosion effect.

Well, this is just the same, only much messier. Instead ignite into one large fireball, holes after holes were made from the inside of its belly. And when it's enough...

*Ka-BOOM!!!*

... It vanished without a trace. Standing right on the middle of the explosion is Honne, unscathered - not even a burn on her clothes.

"I hope prince Ichika loves Dragon meat!"
So, imagine you're a commander of a squad of 4 mech (MS, VF, KMF, TSF,...etc). The military decided to do a coup, but you still stay loyal and decided to fight in the island that you're defending.

The obvious choice would be leading the enemy to the center of you territory, then cut all ways out and destroy them all, right? But I just wonder: what could truly cut the way of a 20m robot, flyable? It must be really fast to set up - a trap.
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Old 2014-04-20, 04:05   Link #52313
wavehawk
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If so, then you must remember that after each boss is defeated, light shine from them, then followed by explosion effect.
- That's KAMEN RIDER!!!
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Old 2014-04-20, 04:12   Link #52314
Fireminer
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Actually, the Orphenoch just crumbled to ash.
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Old 2014-04-20, 04:28   Link #52315
wavehawk
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Originally Posted by Fireminer View Post
Actually, the Orphenoch just crumbled to ash.
- ...Miner, you REALLY need to watch more Showa Rider, you know that?

This is how they did it in the old days, as BLACK will show you:
http://youtu.be/419BrrzsXc0
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Old 2014-04-20, 04:38   Link #52316
Rokumonsen
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Imagine if this is Chifuyu's entrance theme at Mondo Grosso...

BTW, is there any DanxUtsuho shippers out there?
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Old 2014-04-20, 04:44   Link #52317
Fireminer
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Never has the time to watch any Showa.

If this year's movie is the anniversary of Faiz, does that mean next year is about Blade?
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Old 2014-04-20, 05:16   Link #52318
ZeroXSEED
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zero-2 View Post
BTW, is there any DanxUtsuho shippers out there?
Count me out

HonnexDan ftw
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Old 2014-04-20, 05:19   Link #52319
demino_hellsin
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Don't you dare zero, don't you frikin dare T_T
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Old 2014-04-20, 05:20   Link #52320
wavehawk
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fireminer View Post
Never has the time to watch any Showa.


....You can't be a Kamen Rider fan and not have watched AT LEAST Kamen Rider Black /V3/Original out of the Showa series!!! Go! Borrow the series and watch it. BY THE UNHOLY GLARE OF CHIFUYU ORIMURA DO IT NOW!!!
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