2012-01-31, 18:23 | Link #10021 | |
Love Yourself
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Northeast USA
Age: 38
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2012-01-31, 19:36 | Link #10022 | ||
Knight Errant
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Age: 35
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I don't know, it may depend on the nature of the crush, and the person themselves. My crush lasted a year or so, and never had any resolution, so the heart ache lingered. My second crush I didn't really have any lingering feelings for. I got over her pretty quick as I realised she wasn't the person I thought she was. Nothing worse then ambiguousness. Though I do think the teen cocktail of hormones combined with the novelty of the experience makes extreme melodramatic teen crushes very likely for most people. It's part of growing up and needs to be tolerated with a degree of understanding. It's also a pillar manga is built on! Quote:
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2012-01-31, 22:38 | Link #10023 |
Eternity Wish
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Above the Sky
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To everyone:
If someone loves me and I feel the same toward him, I'll be more than glad to move forward I don't understand how someone could run away from love. I tried to put myself in his shoes and still can't understand it. To me, the only time I would run was when I didn't have the same feelings for them (the case of one-sided love). That's the only time I would be "scared."
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Last edited by Tenken's Smile; 2012-03-03 at 16:17. |
2012-02-01, 04:49 | Link #10024 | |
Dai-Youkai
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Vienna
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As a child and a teenager I used to suffer from heavy depressions and there were times I considered putting an end to it. But I never bothered my family and friends with it. I mean just imagine what kind of anguish it would cause your family, when they hear such a thing. In the end, it was also because of my family that I decided not to do it, I just couldnt bear the thought of hurting them so much. So in the light of that whenever I hear somebody lets others know he is thinking about it, I feel very doubtful of his/her intentions. I mean, does he really want to die, or is he hoping that she will hear about it and take pity on him? In the end it boils down to manipulation doesnt it? Well, I dont know this 15 years old boy, maybe I am doing him injustice and he is sincerely depressed. In that case, he should seek professional help and stop talking about suicide, because you know.... nobody can solve his problem for him and this what he is doing is quite contraproductive. |
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2012-02-01, 10:11 | Link #10025 |
Knight Errant
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Age: 35
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This is true. In my depressive moments, I only told others about my consideration of suicide long after the fact. In truth I was always too scared to go through with it.
The most dangerous suicidals are the quiet ones. The ones who actually say something about it are unlikely to ever go through with it. |
2012-02-01, 10:57 | Link #10026 | ||
Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: USA
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Last edited by Hera; 2012-02-01 at 11:11. |
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2012-02-01, 11:24 | Link #10028 | |
Underweight Food Hoarder
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2. When you make a big positive change to someone's life, you won't see it the same way that person does. You might have done something that makes the person feel extremely grateful and view you as a savior. My grandmother did such a thing for a friend of hers, her friend became SO grateful that she stopped living with her husband and spends her entire life trying to repay my grandmother and even moved in. My mom got angry because she doesn't like some outside woman hogging her mother. My mom filed a restraining order against this person because she was so dependent/overwhelmingly fond. This person immediately committed suicide. Spoiler for Another example:
Now you might say those are rather extreme in comparison to your 20 yr friend. But understand that generosity is also very tempting. You help him out with something small and he'll come back to you for something small but marginally more than before. It's hard to turn down a friend if you know you can make them so happy and grateful for you. It's like lying, it gets deeper and deeper. ---------- Anything could have triggered your friend's sudden solitary attitude. But I don't believe he enjoys silence. It's a rather depressive way of showing he wants to feel needed or desired. Let him know you are aware of his behavior at least. I'm not sure just how far you can go in helping him. I'm already jealous that he has a friend who pays attention to his well being. |
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2012-02-01, 12:54 | Link #10030 | |
Underweight Food Hoarder
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Something along the lines of "Are you alright? You seem depressed lately. You know that girl from fb, you should really take a shot and get a hold of her irl, I don't know why you didn't. She clearly wants to see you. I don't know if you are desperate for someone to care for you but everyone's got their own life issues and it's really hard for others to get close to you if you remain so introverted and isolate yourself. I don't know if I'm exaggerating but I hope you can come to realize that and be a little more direct and open. Really there's no harm in that. Btw, are you interested in a 3some?" *We are going really off topic xP |
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2012-02-02, 15:46 | Link #10034 |
Dai-Youkai
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Vienna
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I dont know, if it is the best place to post it, but I made a pretty scarf for my bf. He had birthday not so long ago. The yarn was a 75% wool and 25% some arteficial fibre, the end result was an incredibly warm and cozy scarf for the cold winter days.
I think what inspired my bf to ask for a scarf was the mawaru penguin drum anime. We both watched it and he suddenly asked for something hand knitted. Lets just say it was a lot of work. I mean, I gladly do for my sweetheart.... but ufffff |
2012-02-02, 18:00 | Link #10036 |
Underweight Food Hoarder
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Hey that's nice
I recently watched true tears with someone because she hasn't seen it and wanted to. That came up in my head when I saw your hand knit scarf. Not many young people can hand knit :O (Well I have a friend who has like OCD and knits constantly whenever she's not doing something with her hands). Your boyfriend better be extremely happy! |
2012-02-03, 09:49 | Link #10037 |
Salt Levels Critical
Join Date: Oct 2007
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Everyone with relationship issues can at least take solace in the fact that they aren't me - 2 months away from 28 and have never had a single person express even the tiniest hint of romantic interest. You know that one anime character archetype, the main character's comedy relief best friend who never gets any of the girls? That guy is me irl.
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2012-02-03, 09:54 | Link #10038 | |
PolyPerson!
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Northern VA
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Better to be with "Ms/Mr Right" than "Ms/Mr Right Now", IMO; I wouldn't stress it too much.. However, if it really bothers you (and not just because society seems to place people's worth on if they have a partner), then you could go and examine it - are you perhaps subconsciously just not ready/desiring a relationship, and it's "pushing" others away? Are you going after certain types that're just not compatible? There's a million and one reasons why someone might be (or remain) single.
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2012-02-03, 10:11 | Link #10039 | |
Knight Errant
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Age: 35
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2012-02-03, 10:21 | Link #10040 |
Underweight Food Hoarder
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Have you sincerely tried getting a girlfriend? I'm the type of guy who comes off as a totally average boring person. It's because my appearance doesn't match my hobbies or personality. And even at that, I'm the type of guy who has nothing particularly attractive. All I have is being honest (I can't sweet talk ) and keeping my manners/temper. They're traits that don't come off as attractive and only appreciable to women when they're in the process of breaking up with a guy.
I have no choice but to force myself into the view of other women and force them to know me. Or else they can't see anything interesting in me. While I wish someone did take interest in me before I do, that's kind of how I have to live with myself. And it's worked quite well. I just have to be more assertive than my comfort zone and devote more than a typical guy my age. The other downside is breaking up. A lot of my break ups involve the girl repeatedly stalking me and trying to make up again. Most of my better traits are only noticed upon self reflection after conflicts occur. ;__; |
Tags |
advice, break-ups, dating, dating after divorce, divorce, happiness, love, pairings, single dad, single mom |
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