What's wrong with huge age differences. I'm semi-considering Vice to be 24-26. What's 8 to 10 years, especially since Mid-childans look youthful for most parts?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen
Of course of course... There's always a reason...
Jeno: "But the main point is to see PASS that reason and just kill the mother-!!"
You're talking about the Lightning's rival enemy here.
Looking at their idiotic track-record with Lutecia, it's only rational they repeat it, though they're not going to get any answer until the very very last moments.
__________________
Night~and~Gale: ~ The Final Mythology of the Man who Defied Destiny.
The sleeping lion shall awaken beyond the depths of time, crossing ten billion lights, come to Terra.
You're talking about the Lightning's rival enemy here.
Looking at their idiotic track-record with Lutecia, it's only rational they repeat it, though they're not going to get any answer until the very very last moments.
Sigh... As long as it's not as idiotic and not as long...
Also, I don't mind them working togther on this one guy, but some solo fight scenes never hurt (us)
Feh, she's not that much different herself, since she's allying herself with a human. (( Not a regular relationship, but allies non-the-less ))
Indeed
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightengale
She pretty much looks down to any human (( except Logan )) and any beings who servant themselves or befriend humans, since she's an ancient dragon over thousands of years old.
He himself is a descendent of Ancient Dragons
*runs*
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightengale
Nice chapter. That hueg stinger pic was awesome.
Yeah At least she's helping Cinque with a nearly endless supply of Stingers
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightengale
And looks like next episode will be the ultimate determinant of your Ion Canon... since Cinque's STILL missing...
Yeah...But Koji will be done before episode 25 starts
Let's say he...befriends Cinque and Treize too
Re: Vice - He has to be @ least in his late 20s... and in my mind, the limit gap for young romances (anyone less than 30) is four or five years max between the lovers... does Vice look 21 to you?
24-25ish, which in my book is perfectly acceptable.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reiji Tabibito
Re: LegendS - I actually borrowed the last line from the animated 80s Transformer movie...
Good stuff, that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reiji Tabibito
AWWW.....
[Vivio]Keroko-obaa-chan daisuki![/Vivio]
Keroko-chan: Obaa-
Vivio: *Tilts head in confusion* Demo, if Keroko-mama is Vivio's mama, how can Keroko-mama be Vivio's obaa-chan?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reiji Tabibito
NEW MATERIAL!!!!
@Everyone:
Other than Vice, does anyone have ideas for MALE love interests for Teana? Kha-kun, I always thought Artei-san might be a good fit...
Spoiler for Shoujo-ai:
<Miyuki-san Explanation Mode Start!>
I realize that love can take just about any form, but I have an almost pathological aversion to shoujo or shonen-ai, unless the pairing is proven canon. Ex: KonokaSetsuna from Negima, or ChikaneHimeko from KnM (though I do support SoumaHimeko too).
This is a result of my religious upbringing as a Christian, where we're taught that romantic, sexual love between members of the same sex is wrong - this is why I also have something of an aversion to NxF.
Plus, I'm straight myself, and when I write, I try to stick to things that I know or experience so that I can say, "Well, this is how it happened for me."
Granted, I'm not against it - I'm just very very hesitant about doing it.
And frankly, unless AlternateS II is never gonna happen, then Subaru already has a love interest - making the TeanaxSubaru pairing moot.
A quick note - though I do not wholly support shoujo/shonen-ai, I WILL use that close dynamic. Ex: Teana and Subaru may not be lovers - but if Subaru needs comforting, then Teana would be one of my primary candidates for that comforting.
<MEM Finish!>
That's all for now.
WII~~
My opinion has always been to respect other peoples opinions as long as hey respect mine. You won't hear me complaining if you don't insert Shoujo-ai in your works.
He himself is a descendent of Ancient Dragons
*runs*
Yeah At least she's helping Cinque with a nearly endless supply of Stingers
Yeah...But Koji will be done before episode 25 starts
Let's say he...befriends Cinque and Treize too
Well...I just wonder how this particular befriending will go down.
@Gale:
Well, I have no doubts that you'll make the Lightning team have a better track record against this rider. Repetition is necessary, but with more, well...progress. Unlike with Lutecia.
@Chaos:
Another new OC? And not a Destroyer this time round...nevertheless, I am intrigued.
And, now, here is a picture for the possible fourth and final addition to Scag's forces in ShardS, named, for now, "Arnold White". I warn you all- the appearance reference is very clear.
Spoiler for Blatant reference ahead:
*Runs.*
Last edited by Dream_Traveller; 2007-09-16 at 16:30.
You were looking for a possible pair up for Teana, yes?
Goukon is far too much like Subaru in terms of brashness and general personality.
As for Retsugou, he's the more mature older brother, but that won't help much if both brothers kick it up into full berserker adrenaline drive. Maybe someone to calm him down would help...I think?
You were looking for a possible pair up for Teana, yes?
Goukon is far too much like Subaru in terms of brashness and general personality.
As for Retsugou, he's the more mature older brother, but that won't help much if both brothers kick it up into full berserker adrenaline drive. Maybe someone to calm him down would help...I think?
Mage information Rank: 1st Private Affiliations: Time-space Administration Bureau, air force Combat type: melee/short range Position: Front Attacker Magic system: Neo-Belka type Official Mage Rank: Air A Colour of spell sigils: Red Specialization: Close range sword fighter Rare Skill: Mana Conversion Affinity (Fire) Usual garb/wear: TSAB air force armed corps' uniform
Description: Jean has blond hair reaching her waist, and has deep blue eyes. She’s always appears calm and demure but is more relax and open around close friends.
Spoiler for [B]Appearance[/B]:
History: Born on the Non-administrated planet, Hotarus. Almost identical in technological and magical aspects when compared to Mid-childan planets, Hotarus is a planet that has been embroiled in war between the government and a rebellious faction for years.
A child of an influential family within the government, Jean lived in a period where civil war prevailed. It had degraded to a point where the rebellious faction would stoop to not just guerrilla warfare, but plain terrorism. It was on one occasion that one particular group raided a private school for the children of royalty and certain political leaders, seized the building, and took everyone inside hostage. Their demands were the release of key leaders of the rebellious faction, caught during another raid from the government.
The government made a bargain with the TSAB, in return for ending the war and rescuing the hostages, they agreed to submit themselves to TSAB’s administration. It was the most effective way to curb the excessive corruption that certain government officials were involved in. It was the main reason behind the rebellion, as corrupted officials splurge on the taxes of the people and generally treated the populace poorly. It was also seen as the solution that would lead their world to peace.
The incident will come to be a horrible experience that the surviving hostages will remember for the rest of their lives. Every hour one of them would be chosen and executed in public, regardless if they were children, until the rebels had their demands met. Two squads of Air Force mages were brought in to help with the hostage situation. The then Sergeant Itsuki was part of the 1039th air force squad that was one of the two teams that participated in the secure and rescue mission. The mission was to eliminate the rebels within systematically as quickly as possible without alerting the whole rebel group of the rescue attempt; then subsequently they were to secure the hostages and evacuate them to the TSAB navy ship that was stationed in the atmosphere of the planet itself before returning them to their respective families.
The situation was swiftly brought to a close with the introduction of the Air Force mages, which also included snipers Vice and Smith of the LineBacker's duo. As Itsuki approach Jean to secure and evacuate her along with the rest of the hostages, the relieved young girl cried as all the bottled up fear and tension found release. She knew she had been saved from a terrible fate, all thanks to the TSAB's intervention.
Months after that case, the TSAB extended a free for all invitation to the citizens of Hotarus with the interest to attend their schools and magic academies, something that had been lacking for their general populace due to the civil war. Jean, who has great magical potential, decided to enlist with the TSAB’s air force academy at Central. She wanted to have the power to save and protect others, as well as to find the young man that led that small covert ops team that saved the hostages that day, who young as she was then, saw as a hero. She wanted to thank him properly, as she didn’t manage to do that on that fateful day, passing out from mental exhaustion. It was a chance to do just that and to explore a whole new world.
She officially enlisted with the TSAB armed corps and attended an air force academy at the age of 10. Graduating at the age of 12, Jean has always been considered as highly talented. She uses modern Belka style magic, and wields a two-handed sword equipped with the cartridge system. After graduating she was assigned to the same unit Itsuki was in, an unexpected reunion with the one who she saw as a symbol of the military organization that saved her life.
Personality/Habits and behaviour/Hobbies: Well mannered, cheery, and has an unexpectedly strong sense of justice. She tends to use formal forms of speech of most of the time. With friends, she's a lot more open and informal. Though brought up in a rich and prestigious family, she is not arrogant or boastful; but is in fact kind, honest to a fault, and is brave when confronted with combat despite being female.
She's a bit naive and gullible, which many warn might become her downfall. However, she has yet to let her naivete affect her efficiency in missions so nobody has yet to get around to talking to her about it.
Likes to fly up to the top branches and sit there, a habit Sylvia has been trying to break her out of due to the number of perverts on base that love to look up skirts. She also shares Itsuki's love for reading, a habit she cultivated from a young age also. But she's more inclined to read romance novels or magazines, rather than the fantasy and comics that Itsuki prefers.
She makes up weird nicknames for people sometimes, openly using them with people she’s friendlier with. Though the weird thing is that often the nicknames don't make sense or are in any way related to the person it's assigned to, in fact they're often rather lamely named such as "bacon" or "camel-head". As examples, she fondly calls Sylvia as "Strawberry pie" and Itsuki "Lazy bum".
Fighting style: Strong despite her size due to training, Jean uses her sword with great proficiency in combat. Signum often gave her tips on improving her swordsmanship before Signum transferred to Riot Force 6.
Despite how she looks, she can be aggressive in combat, and does not relent till the enemy either surrenders or is defeated. Her style of combat is pretty simple and straightforward, something that more experienced opponents will catch unto. Still, she's never alone as she's always with Sylvia, and they back each other up in combat.
Preferring to get up close, Jean specializes in close range combat due to her device being a sword. If opponents go out of the range of her sword, she can use beam slashes or generate a wave of flames to pursue her enemies.
Though her official mage rank is low, she has high mana capacity and magical prowess, with her power level at 1,009,784 units. As such, one of her favourite defensive spells include immediately converting a large amount of mana and expend it outwards as if her whole being erupted with flames, effectively damaging and preventing enemies from coming into range from angles and positions that she will not be able to react to in time.
Barrier Jacket: Refer to profile picture.
Device: Griever
Jean’s armed device, Griever is a two-handed single edge sword. Jean can use it to sling energy blade-like discharges, and area effect flame wave.
Storage mode:
Using the most practical form there is, Griever’s storage form is a silver pendant of what looks like the head of a lion from the side. The phrase “set-up” activates the device.
Device mode:
5 feet in length with a width 5 inches, it is a single-edge blade with one-foot long hilt with good grip and no cross guard. The cartridge component is built at the back of the blade, as is common with most sword type armed devices, and is a revolver styled one, similar to that used in Bardiche. The blade is only slightly over an inch thick; therefore the device isn’t really all that heavy. However the blade’s length is still significantly quite long for her size and so she can’t swing it as fast as she would be able to with other sword based devices like Laevatine.
Model: Griever, gun-blade of Squall from FF8, Kingdom Hearts
Spoiler for Spell list:
Offensive spells: Flame Wave: A wave of flame is created and sweeps out in an arc according to that of Griever’s swing. The wave generates a lot of heat and smoke, making it a good cover for follow up attacks.
Attack: A
Speed: B-
Range: arc of sword swing and half a man’s height, as far as 10 metres
Cartridge consumed: 1
Blade Beam: A beam is generated from a swing of Griever that moves in a linear direction but fast enough to cause trouble for opponents who don’t get out of its way quick enough.
Attack: C
Speed: A+
Range: C+
Furious Eruption: Flames flare up momentarily covering and protecting Jean. A useful spell to force enemies who managed to get in from an angle where she cannot retaliate with her sword, a sort of protective spell with offensive properties.
Attack: B
Radius: 1.5 meters
Flame Burst: Jean powers up her sword with the elemental power of fire to enhance a single sword strike with more destructive power.
Attack: B (A+ if cartridge used)
Range: Melee
Cartridge used: 1 (optional)Duration: 4 minutes (additional 3 minutes with every cartridge used)
(The following spells are borrowed from Lowe)
Spoiler for ”Impulse spells”:
Force -
In martial combat, one requires physical strength and power to deliver the energy required for impact. The most basic spell for many Neo-Belkan practitioners, and also the easiest to learn, is the “Force” spell, which is a basic spell to externally enhance the wielder’s physical strength. This is achieved using a combination of external levitation (and in some cases, Midchilda-style Barrel Rings), which provide additional aid and support on a mage’s arms or legs. This grants a mage extra physical power in lifting heavy weapons, or further enhancing the power behind a strike.
Blast –
Another basic Neo-Belkan spell, “Blast” is a “static kinetic energy” spell applied at a weapon’s impact point, which multiplies the kinetic energy behind a physical blow without the requirement of adding extra momentum or mass. In combat this significantly improves the damage potential of a normally kinetically weak blow, like a punch.
Although the advantages are considerable, the Blast spell creates significant kinetic energy backlash at the item it is used on, whether a weapon or the mage itself. For this reason, application of this spell is most ideal on sturdy, blunt and dense objects with a large surface area on the impact point, like mallets, clubs and hammers, to better absorb and dissipate the backlash. Impact dissipation spells can also be applied to further reduce the backlash’s negative effects.
Sword –
The third of the basic spells, “Sword” is a “focus energy” spell, which enhances a cutting blade or piercing head by reinforcing the material integrity of the cutting area, and also by absorbing kinetic energy on impact and focusing it on the cutting edge. A blade enhanced by this spell can cut through extra-hard and reinforced objects with minimal effort, and this spell can be further enhanced by Force for improved results.
Defensive spells: Protection: As a front attacker, Jean needs to be able to shield herself from enemy attacks well with minimal support. This is a barrier spell that can even auto-cast whenever hostile attacks enter within a certain range. It can also be cast on allies or non-combatants during certain disaster or rescue operations.
Strength: A+
Radius: 2.5 metres
Knight’s Shield: Jean’s shield spell that helps block frontal attacks that can’t be blocked otherwise with Griever.
Strength: A+
Support/Boost/Mobility Spells: Flight: Needing lots of room to maneuver her sword, aerial combat became her preference, and Jean spends much of her personal training time on aerial combat simulations and how to increase her mobility and maneuverability in the air.
Skill level: A+
Ok, not exactly the most original but I don't want to stray too far from what's accepted. I realize that there's a lot of work to be done with my OCs and I'll make any changes where necessary. However I can't do this without feedback.
I know I'm new here and all, but I feel kind of left out really. =|
Anyway the device is probably the most unoriginal part there is. But when I thought of the device of my OC, I kept thinking and was looking around and it just hit me that a sword with a revolver in it (for the cartridge system) just had to be a gunblade. It just fits perfectly I guess.
Of course I think a little bit of adjustment is in order, so the original Griever is only a model. But basically that's what I'm looking at, except it being a straight hilt and minus the gun trigger.
Now I shall once again...*pochitto* *cowers in fear after clicking on submit button*
Update (10 April 2008): Tweak history and personality quite a bit. Also implemented Lowe's Impulse spells, IMO let's just say every Belka mage knows Impulse spells from now on.
Whheeee.. hopefully the time-space continuum is back to normal now after Aaron's haxx breaker..
It's been a while but here's part 6 of my ongoing ficlet A visit to MD6, otherwise known as 'training' on the OC directory...Hmm I'm going to have to get that changed.
I'm still not sure if this is going to be the final version... While I'm happy with what I've written at the moment, things are capable of changing depending on feedback and other factors..
Spoiler for Part 6- The calm after the storm:
0900
Weary, we trudged through the doors. We were strung out in a line each of us supporting one another. Vita, the reason behind our defeat walked in front of us, chatting with Shari who had been in control of the drones and Takamachi Nanoha, the Ace of Aces, one of a number of respected individuals within the organisation. At the end of our line walked the boy Erio supported by Caro who was in turn supported by Iza. Tuala leant on my right shoulder, obviously more exhausted than I had thought. I felt a twinge of guilt for forcing her to carry Erio during the exercise. ‘I’ll talk to her later on and see if she wants anything.’
Her suggestion to use Erio as a hostage had nearly worked but still sat ill on my conscience. This stain on my morals had grown darker as we wrapped up and we had a chance to talk to our opponents in person. It surprised us to discover that the pair were only 12/13 and that the other two Subaru and Teana were only a little older at 16/17. Even though I’ve been with the TSAB for nearly 2 years now, it is still weird to see children in the line of fire, regardless of their ability.
At the far end of the room, all of the officers who had been present at the start of the exercise were waiting. Nudging Tuala gently, I cleared my throat. The others looked at me as I did before following my gaze. Together we straightened, heads up facing the group.
The shortest among the group stepped forward, short brown hair framing her face. “At ease,” she said, her voice, though soft held an air of experience. “No need to be so formal, especially after nearly three hours out there. As the commanding officer, I’d like to welcome you all to Mobile Division 6. I trust that our facilities met your standards.” She was the same person who had addressed us this morning, just before we started. Something about her was familiar and I struggled to remember where I had seen her before.
“Now if you would follow me, refreshments are available in the adjoining room, where we will go over the exercise,” pointing to her left at a small door. As with the rest of the buildings in the complex, the room showed little sign of use, chairs stacked neatly to one side, mountains of salad and pasta heaped upon a table opposite. The weight pressing against me disappeared as the forwards moved towards the food, Subaru, Teana and Erio each picking up a huge bowl each, filling them with completely before heading towards the tables. Caro waved at us from another, where she was gathering the cutlery. “Could you help me with the plates?” she asked.
“Sure.” I picked up a stack of eight, and together we made our way over to the others. As I passed the plates around, I took the time to look around the room another time. The Weavers were to our left, sitting with Instructor Takamachi and another, dressed in the black of the enforcers, in rapid conversation. My eyes widened as I realised who it was, Fate Tesstarossa, one of the youngest to have ever qualified as an Agent. It was surprising to me to see someone of her abilities involved in this unit. Although it seemed to be similar in scope to the ESO corps, none of their force members seemed to be at a sufficient level to warrant the resources currently assigned for their training. At their current levels, 1 or 2 trainers at ESO level would be sufficient, but from the data available on the unit, their trainers can both be considered Agents within the Enforcers.
“So what’s the normal day like here?” Tuala asked them.
“It’s not too bad I guess,” Subaru said between mouthfuls, “The work is much tougher here, compared to our last unit, especially the training.” Pausing, she looked at the others, “Don’t you think?”
“Agreed,” Erio and Caro said, simultaneously, while raising their hands. Seconds passed before they noticed, realisation of what had happened manifesting on their faces, both of them turning red.
“It’s training, training and more training here. The only time we’re not training during the day is if we get called on a mission. Either that or time for food.” Teana said, sighing. “Don’t misunderstand me…. I don’t mind all the training… It’s helped a lot but sometimes I just wish that something would happen.”
Her last comment made me look up from my plate. Tuala and Valivis had also stopped, forks and spoons in midair. Our eye’s met…
“Ehh, did I say something weird?” Teana asked, looking down to her left.
I could see the hint of a smile on Valivis’ face, Tuala was positively beaming and I’m sure my own would be mirroring Valivis’. I spoke up, “When things truly get busy, you’ll be eating those words and wanting to go back into training, I guarantee it.”
Valivis picked up where I left off, “What he means is that this time you have now is a blessing. It may not feel like it now, but when the time comes and you’re constantly on one mission or another, you’re going to be wishing that it could just be training.”
“Although the 4 of us have only been together for a few months, we’ve already many experiences of working with the Weavers on a number of their missions. Even before the squad was completed, Isamu and I did a short stint on board the Tempest. It was one of a trio of ships that had been sent to stop weapons smuggling between the TSAB and the non-administrated worlds in sector 629. A few days of intel gathering, before we started the raids. Every day, more of the syndicate’s bases were attacked, short but hard attacks. Near the end of the operation, we were being teleported from one mission to another, reinforcing the squads that needed it. We were all completely exhausted by the time we located their main stronghold. They were preparing to run at that point, sensor coverage showed areas of land that had been previously occupied. To stop more of them getting away, we launched immediately….” Tuala faltered, her voice trailing away.
The memories of that day still remained fresh in our minds, a constant reminder for Tuala and me about the fragility of our lives. I reached over and grasped her hand, wrapping my fingers around hers, squeezing gently. “Most of the details about that mission have been classified…. But to say that it was a FUBAR just gives it an impression that it was easier than it actually was. The weapons they carried cut through our ranks; a squad of men was annihilated completely in seconds. The arrival of the reserves from the Tempest and other ships in the battle group helped us to reinforce our breach within their complex, but we lacked the firepower to break through until the arrival of the Weavers and the Hunters 2 days later.”
Silence greeted me. I realised that everyone in the room had turned their attention on us. I gulped as Myristic stood, the sound of his chair moving back echoing around the room. He slowly made his way over to us, his face grim and I fought the urge to run, run before he got to us. “Like the Weaver’s have said, don’t be too hasty to get into action. The longer you have to prepare, the better you’ll be able to cope with what happens on the battlefield.” He levelled his gaze at Teana. “Your missions have been successes so far, but one day you’ll fail. Be it the death of a comrade, injury or the inability to complete your mission, how you respond then is what matters. The TSAB tries to avoid the use of lethal force, but sometimes death is the only option. Are you ready for that responsibility?”
Silence reined once more as Valivis and the forward members thought about Myristic’s words. “We’ll have to wait and see won’t we,” Valivis said, “Although it’s likely that I’ll be the first to answer that question, given that I’m an enforcer.”
Myristic nodded, “Hopefully that day will be long in coming.” Addressing the others he said, “Think long and hard about why you’re here, what you want to achieve. If the possibility of dealing with death and the taking of life isn’t part of what you want, I hope you seriously consider transferring within the organisation to another division.” He turned away and walked back to the others, leaving us to think about his words.
Noticing that the forwards hadn’t touched their plates, Tuala urged them to eat, “You can think about what he just said while you eat you know. It won’t be good if you faint later in the day from not eating properly.”
The next 10 minutes passed quietly at our table, each of us digging in, replenishing the energy that we had used earlier in the morning, the mountain of pasta and salad in the centre of the table disappearing at an alarming rate. “Did any of you want any more?” I asked. Everyone at the table shook their heads, continuing to eat as they did. I caught the eye of Teana, who had just finished. “You did quite well today, considering what happened.” I said.
“Hmmm….. not really. I never managed to use my illusions. Otherwise I should have been able to get away.” She sighed deeply, “The moment I get into a melee battle, I always end up on the losing side… Going to have to work on that since I’m planning on becoming an enforcer in the future.”
“Really?” Tuala replied. “Well, I guess this means that you’ve already thought about what the captain discussed earlier.”
“A little….” As she started to reply, the Weaver’s stood, David called across the room, “Apologies for the interruption, Blades ATTEND,” Pointing to a door that I hadn’t noticed before. We scrambled, our departure rattling the plates still on the table.
[Oops.. Isamu, could you get the forwards as well. This will be relevant to them also.]
I came to a stop halfway across the room. Turning back to see the forwards looking at me quizzically, I called them over, pointing at the group and then at the door to try and indicate that they were wanted also. Thankfully, they were able to figure out what I was trying to tell them, the noise of conversations preventing me from calling out to them. Meeting them at the door, I held it open as they filed through before entering myself.
Inside, all hints of the outside world disappeared, not a sound could be heard from the adjacent room. A number of screens opposite me displayed vision from the skirmish, to their left the Weavers stood along with the other members of the division’s command staff. “If everyone could find a seat, we’ll begin,” Myristic said from behind the lectern. “I’ll try and keep this as brief as possible since much of this is irrelevant to the others. Blades, you’ll be seeing a detailed report on any errors today, large and small, once we get back to base.” Behind him, the display flickered before settling on our first human contact with the enemy.
“I’m sure it’s quite clear to you all now….. Keep an eye on the sky at all times. Aerial mages will be a massive problem, even if all they do is keep their eyes on you.” The display altered again, this time to video footage of the battles between Teana, Subaru Iza and I. “Not much to say on my team.” Myristic raised the question to the room, “Any comments for the forwards?”
I raised my hand. “We talked a little about it over brunch. Their problem stemmed from being split up against superior opponents. The two of them together would have been a match for me and Iza separately.. once we had engaged, better efforts should have been made to get back to their squad partner.” Myristic nodded and with a slight gesture of his hands, motioned me to continue. “I do admit that it is much easier said than done, but given Subaru’s advantage in manoeuvrability, she should have been able to shake Iza, to make her way back to Teana.”
From the front of the room came another voice, “I’ll see what we can do about that…. But I’m not sure the forwards want to be doing more exercises every day.” I could hear muffled groans just in front of me from the forwards. Suppressing a smile, I waved at Myristic to continue.
“I’d like to ask the opinion of everyone in this room whether this was an appropriate action or indeed if it was necessary.” His eye’s swept the room, his gaze resting on us for seconds before continuing. The screens behind the captain flipped to Erio during his time as a hostage. “I understand already that Isamu is against it entirely.. however…. There have been documented cases within the ESO’s about the taking of hostages during active combat missions. Cases in which they have gotten away with further injury to their teams.”
Tuala shot to her feet, “Before anyone else speaks, taking Erio hostage was a perfectly valid way to end the scenario. We very nearly succeeded as well, only the last second cage by the Lieutenant left us with no other choice than to nullify all magic within that area, leading to our capture. If those drones had been manoeuvred a second later, we would all have managed to move into the effective teleporter range.”
“But in doing so, do we not harm the bureau’s image, as well as giving precedent to those who aspire to see the bureau extinguished reason for their actions.” A sharp reply came from the front, originating from the officer who had met us upon arrival.
“Better for that to happen than fail to warn the bureau about any possible threats that we’ve been sent to retrieve.” Tuala retorted.
“Your logic makes sense. Although I hope that you’re prepared for the consequences of your actions,” the officer replied.
Tuala dropped back into her seat with an hmpf, signalling her wish to stop the conversation. Whispered conversations took place around the room for the next minute, before Myristic spoke once more. “Well if that’s it, we’ll stop this now.” He was greeted with nods by all present. “Time to get onto our last joint activity of the day then.” We looked at him in puzzlement. ‘I can’t remember there being anything else to do today’. “The Weavers and I will be showing you how it’s supposed to be done.” He continued with a grin.
“Eeeehhh!!!”
Our jaws must have dropped in amazement. “You do know that I’m not just a desk worker right……”
“O…Of course we do…. It’s just a surprise…. A really big surprise…” Valivis stammered.
Ignoring us now, he walked out with the Weavers, nodding at the other officers in the room. “Let’s have a good time out there.”
“Don’t think you’ll win so easily now!” They called back at him.
Spoiler for Extra Info:
Now we haven't been given any info about how the enforcers are made up so I've made some stuff up for them.
We already know that the Enforcers are with the Navy, so I've made them work like the Marines. Each ship will have a complement of Enforcers which will deal with things that need boots on the ground.
Ranking within the enforcers: However, all are referred to as Enforcers.
Enforcer- standard ship board grunts 10<x<20 (ie, grunts seen during S1, S2) The Blades are currently here.
Enforcer Spec-Op (ESO) - Higher trained enforcers, capable of working alone, but usually operating in smaller groups 5<x<10. Given more dangerous tasks, ie, hostage rescue, extraction, sabotage- (in RL, the Spec-Ops missions) (Weavers, Hunters )
Agent: The most elite of the bunch, usually working alone, or leads a group of ESO’s on missions. (Fate, Chrono,…….) (Spec-Ops tasks, tasks more suited to one person.)
Comments/Flames/Etc... welcome. Just keep the flames civil please
I just got caught up with this, Liingo, and I must say it's an entertaining read. One thing that irked me was the mid-chapter changes in perspective (having one character be the 'I' and then another,) which was confusing. Good luck with upcoming chapters!
Ok, not exactly the most original but I don't want to stray too far from what's accepted. I realize that there's a lot of work to be done with my OCs and I'll make any changes where necessary. However I can't do this without feedback.
I know I'm new here and all, but I feel kind of left out really. =|
Completely unintentional, I asure you. Though it would help if you actually wrote something for your OC's with which we could interact with. Merely profiles is a bit bland, and gives us little to work with. Try writing a piece of your characters interacting or fighting, for example.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FieryAeon
Well I haven't really been getting as much feedback as I would've liked but here's my 2nd OC.
Spoiler for spoiler for lots of text :S:
Basic Details Name: Jean Sneijder Gender: Female Birthday: 17 September Home World: Hotarus Age: 15
Mage information Rank: 1st Private Affiliations: Time-space Administration Bureau, air force Combat style: melee/short range Position: Front Attacker Class: Neo-Belka type Official Mage Rank: A- Colour of spell sigils: Red Device: Griever (armed device) Specialization: Close range power strikes Usual garb/wear: TSAB navy uniform
Description/Background/History History: Born on the Non-administrated world of Hotarus. Almost identical in technological and magical aspects when compared to Mid-childan planets, Hotarus is a planet that has been embroiled in war between the government and a rebellious faction for years.
A child of an influential family within the government, Jean lived in constant fear for her life as the rebellion raged on. Rumours of kidnapping for political ransoms kept the government on edge and the government decided that they would seek outside help, the TSAB.
The TSAB’s navy was involved in an operation to evacuate the children of the political leaders, direct intervention in the civil war was not possible because the planet was not administrated by the TSAB. However, before the evacuation could be done, the rebels struck and leaders and children that were to be evacuated were kidnapped and held ransom, Jean was one of those that were kidnapped that day. The conditions were simple, surrender all authority and submit to the rebels.
The government made a bargain with the TSAB, in return for ending the war and rescuing the hostages, they agreed to submit themselves to TSAB’s administration and be government by them. It was the most effective choice and the reason the rebellion started was due to corrupted officials who treated the populace poorly. By being administrated by a government that is renown for its benevolence and equality for its citizens, the people of Hotarus can now hope to see peace that will last.
It was a horrible time for the hostages as every hour one of them would be chosen and executed in public, regardless if they were children, until the rebels had their demands met. A small team of special operatives were called in to handle the situation and Itsuki was the one who lead the operation. The operation was successful, with the operatives successfully eliminating the rebels.
Jean saw Itsuki approaching as the situation came to a close and the hostages were rescued and brought to safety. As she saw the face of the young man who led the operation that resulted in her rescue, as if a dam was broken, the tears came flooding as the realization that she was saved from the horrible situation dawned. Not knowing what else to do with the child, all Itsuki could do was stroke her head as he told her everything was okay. At that moment, Jean thought to herself of how safe and warm those hands were and that the nightmare was finally over.
Months after that case, Hotarus, now officially administrated by the TSAB, decided to allow citizens of their world study magic with the bureau’s academy back in Mid-childan. Jean, who had since then decided she wanted to save people like the team of operatives back then, decided to enlist with the TSAB’s air force academy at Central to learn more about the people of the world that came to govern them, to become a mage who will have the power to save and protect others, as well as to find the young man that led that small covert ops team that saved the hostages that day, who her then young child’s mind saw as a hero. She wanted to thank him, as she didn’t manage to do that on that fateful day, passing out from mental exhaustion. It was a chance to do just that and to explore a whole new world.
Thus begins her journey into worlds unknown, one that she will remember for life.
Habits/Hobbies: Likes climbing trees, even though she mostly wears skirts. Also likes reading magazines. She makes up weird nicknames for people sometimes, some without that own person knowing.
Personality/Behaviour patterns: Well-cultured girl with an air of elegance surrounding her. She’s polite and kind to most except when she deems that person unworthy of such. When she talks she uses very formal speech, and is careful to address superiors or seniors by their ranks. Her close friend’s share a more familiar relationship with her, where she dispenses with formalities and is a lot more open. Its probably safe to say she only shows herself as what she wants to be to those close to her but to others the image of a well mannered and educated lady that her family brought her up to be.
Her personality certainly doesn’t seem to be suited for the choice of armed device that she uses, but that is not the case as she wields the device with believe and conviction during missions, and is certainly quite competent with the use of a sword that is quite long for her size. She’s a serious and dependable person, but she’s not that bad that she’s stoic or anything and she does have her fun side, which is a side she doesn’t show to many.
However, being born of parents who were former politicians in her world, she has always been pampered and well provided for by her family. Also, despite being in missions where the reality of how horrible and cruel situations and people can become, she naively everyone can be made to see reason, no matter how twisted or evil they may be. She trusts people too easily, is gullible, and takes many things at face value, a very dangerous trait when dealing with the many rogues who break the TSAB’s laws. Although
Professional Background: Joined the TSAB academy at the age of 10 and graduated at the age of 12, Jean has always been considered as highly talented. She uses modern Belka style magic, and uses a large sword equipped with the cartridge system. After graduating she was posted at the same unit Itsuki was in, a reunion she had always dreamed off, a reunion with the man who saved her from a fate of waiting to be killed as time ticked away in that hostage situation she was in years ago. She is currently poised to make it to sergeant in rank.
Fighting style: Strong despite her size due to training, Jean uses her sword with decent proficiency in combat.
Jean will sometimes use a straight cannon spell to attack opponents from mid range and immediately try to get up close to attack from close range. Should the opponent dodge, she can swing Griever in a wide arc and it will generate a flame wave covering the arc of the swing.
Mostly Jean will prefer to rely on her proficiency of her sword and not overly rely on her magical powers unless necessary.
Barrier Jacket: Jean’s barrier jacket is styled of a medieval knight, with a lot less armour plating. Her barrier jacket consists of a blue shirt with long sleeves, white long skirt reaching her knees, a steel breast plate, steel gauntlets, steel boots, and armour plates cover both sides of her hips. Not as heavy as those medieval fully armoured knights but still offers good protection and better mobility. The armour plates can even deflect weak magic attacks.
Device: Griever
Jean’s armed device, Griever is a two-handed single edge sword. Jean can use it to create energy blades, and area effect elemental waves of flame.
Storage mode:
Using the most practical form there is, Griever’s storage form is a silver pendant of what looks like the head of a lion from the side. The phrase “set-up” activates the device.
Device mode:
5 feet in length with a width 5 inches, it is a single-edge blade with one-foot long hilt with good grip and no cross guard. The hilt is a rich gold colour and the blade is solid black steel. The cartridge component is built at the back of the blade, as is common with most sword type armed devices, and is a revolver styled one, similar to that used in Bardiche. The blade is only slightly over an inch thick; therefore the device isn’t really all that heavy. However the blade’s length is still significantly quite long for her size and so she can’t swing it as fast as she would be able to with other sword based devices like Laevatine.
Model: Griever, gunblade of Squall from FF8, Kingdom Hearts
Offensive spells: Flame Wave: A wave of flame is created and sweeps out in an arc according to that of Griever’s swing. The wave generates a lot of heat and smoke, making it a good cover for follow up attacks. (Attack: B, Speed: B-, Range: arc of sword swing and half a man’s height, as far as 10 metres, Cartridge consumed: 1)
Blade Beam: A beam is generated from a swing of Griever that moves in a linear direction but fast enough to cause trouble for opponents who don’t get out of its way quick enough. (Attack: B, Speed: A+, Range: B-)
Inferno Rage: The typical cannon spell, effective at short to mid range and has decent power. Blast point occurs from tip of Griever. (Attack: B, Speed: B, Range: B)
Furious Swipe: The blade’s edge is sharpen by a surge of power from the release of a cartridge, giving the blade enhance power. (Attack: A, Cartridges used: 1)
Defensive spells: Omega Protection: As a front attacker, Jean needs to be able to shield herself from enemy attacks well with minimal support. This is a barrier spell that can even auto-cast whenever hostile attacks enter within a certain range. It can also be cast on allies or non-combatants during certain disaster or rescue operations. (Strength: A+, Radius: 2.5 metres)
Knight’s Shield: Jean’s shield spell that helps block frontal attacks that can’t be blocked otherwise with Griever. (Strength: AA+)
Support/Boost/Mobility Spells: Flight: Jean was part of the air force and knows how to fly. Needing lots of room to maneuver her sword, aerial combat became her preference, and Jean spends much of her personal training time on aerial combat simulations and how to increase her mobility and maneuverability in the air.
Phantom Mirage: The same spell that Itsuki has, which he taught to Jean during their time in the same air force unit. However she is not able to boost her speed by a lot or hold the spell as long as Itsuki can. (Speed boost: AA+, Duration: 3 minutes)
Anyway the device is probably the most unoriginal part there is. But when I thought of the device of my OC, I kept thinking and was looking around and it just hit me that a sword with a revolver in it (for the cartridge system) just had to be a gunblade. It just fits perfectly I guess.
Of course I think a little bit of adjustment is in order, so the original Griever is only a model. But basically that's what I'm looking at, except it being a straight hilt and minus the gun trigger.
Now I shall once again...*pochitto* *cowers in fear after clicking on submit button*
I wouldn't worry about the gunblade. As far as I know only one, maybe two OC's use them. Beyond that this character is pretty balanced, despite being a genius. Do I see a bit of Yachiru in her?
And like I said, it's all about interaction here. Try writing a few stories, as it's there where the true joy f this thread lies.
What's wrong with huge age differences. I'm semi-considering Vice to be 24-26. What's 8 to 10 years, especially since Mid-childans look youthful for most parts?
There's nothing wrong with huge age differences... when you're older. I wouldn't mind two people being in love if they were 32 and 47. It's when you get younger that you have to start thinking about the "legal" line - I mean, would you promote romantic love between two people who are 25 and 10? Note here that the age difference between both couples are the same - 15 years.
To me, it's not about the age - it's about appearances. I approve ErioxCaro, or Yuunoha, or KhaFate, ChronoAmy... and so on. Why? Because it avoids the notion of an inappropriate love relationship (translation: pedophilia).
Bottom line: I am willing to support ANY romance between ages, as long as it avoids the notion of (best word I could find) impropriety.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen
I have someone in mind... Another OC though...
NOT a Destroyer, human in fact...
He's the same one that I mentioned quite some time ago, the one who likes locking horns with Vita... BECAUSE OF A GOOD REASON...
Isn't that counterintuitive? Vita and Teana are both Tsundere...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko
24-25ish, which in my book is perfectly acceptable.
Good stuff, that.
Keroko-chan: Obaa-
Vivio: *Tilts head in confusion* Demo, if Keroko-mama is Vivio's mama, how can Keroko-mama be Vivio's obaa-chan?
My opinion has always been to respect other peoples opinions as long as hey respect mine. You won't hear me complaining if you don't insert Shoujo-ai in your works.
Re: Vice - See above.
Re: Keroko-mama-obaa-chan? - Sorry. I assumed that since Vivio called Nanoha, Nanoha-mama, and Keroko is Nanoha's relation, she'd call Keroko obaa-chan.
<hears whine>
Keroko, wait! Put down Artherion! I can explain!
Ion Cannon Breaker>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>Reiji
Quote:
Originally Posted by FlameSparkZ
When did I say such a thing?
It must be somekind of misunderstanding...
Quote:
Originally Posted by KBTKaiser
my bad, flamespark, it was keroko. My mind's currently melted from the double assault of hotblood in the weekend(Gurren-Lagann and Strikers)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko
Your bad again. It was Reji.
HA! Glorious chaos! I love it!
Quote:
Originally Posted by FieryAeon
Well I haven't really been getting as much feedback as I would've liked but here's my 2nd OC.
Spoiler for spoiler for lots of text :S:
Basic Details Name: Jean Sneijder Gender: Female Birthday: 17 September Home World: Hotarus Age: 15
Mage information Rank: 1st Private Affiliations: Time-space Administration Bureau, air force Combat style: melee/short range Position: Front Attacker Class: Neo-Belka type Official Mage Rank: A- Colour of spell sigils: Red Device: Griever (armed device) Specialization: Close range power strikes Usual garb/wear: TSAB navy uniform
Description/Background/History History: Born on the Non-administrated world of Hotarus. Almost identical in technological and magical aspects when compared to Mid-childan planets, Hotarus is a planet that has been embroiled in war between the government and a rebellious faction for years.
A child of an influential family within the government, Jean lived in constant fear for her life as the rebellion raged on. Rumours of kidnapping for political ransoms kept the government on edge and the government decided that they would seek outside help, the TSAB.
The TSAB’s navy was involved in an operation to evacuate the children of the political leaders, direct intervention in the civil war was not possible because the planet was not administrated by the TSAB. However, before the evacuation could be done, the rebels struck and leaders and children that were to be evacuated were kidnapped and held ransom, Jean was one of those that were kidnapped that day. The conditions were simple, surrender all authority and submit to the rebels.
The government made a bargain with the TSAB, in return for ending the war and rescuing the hostages, they agreed to submit themselves to TSAB’s administration and be government by them. It was the most effective choice and the reason the rebellion started was due to corrupted officials who treated the populace poorly. By being administrated by a government that is renown for its benevolence and equality for its citizens, the people of Hotarus can now hope to see peace that will last.
It was a horrible time for the hostages as every hour one of them would be chosen and executed in public, regardless if they were children, until the rebels had their demands met. A small team of special operatives were called in to handle the situation and Itsuki was the one who lead the operation. The operation was successful, with the operatives successfully eliminating the rebels.
Jean saw Itsuki approaching as the situation came to a close and the hostages were rescued and brought to safety. As she saw the face of the young man who led the operation that resulted in her rescue, as if a dam was broken, the tears came flooding as the realization that she was saved from the horrible situation dawned. Not knowing what else to do with the child, all Itsuki could do was stroke her head as he told her everything was okay. At that moment, Jean thought to herself of how safe and warm those hands were and that the nightmare was finally over.
Months after that case, Hotarus, now officially administrated by the TSAB, decided to allow citizens of their world study magic with the bureau’s academy back in Mid-childan. Jean, who had since then decided she wanted to save people like the team of operatives back then, decided to enlist with the TSAB’s air force academy at Central to learn more about the people of the world that came to govern them, to become a mage who will have the power to save and protect others, as well as to find the young man that led that small covert ops team that saved the hostages that day, who her then young child’s mind saw as a hero. She wanted to thank him, as she didn’t manage to do that on that fateful day, passing out from mental exhaustion. It was a chance to do just that and to explore a whole new world.
Thus begins her journey into worlds unknown, one that she will remember for life.
Habits/Hobbies: Likes climbing trees, even though she mostly wears skirts. Also likes reading magazines. She makes up weird nicknames for people sometimes, some without that own person knowing.
Personality/Behaviour patterns: Well-cultured girl with an air of elegance surrounding her. She’s polite and kind to most except when she deems that person unworthy of such. When she talks she uses very formal speech, and is careful to address superiors or seniors by their ranks. Her close friend’s share a more familiar relationship with her, where she dispenses with formalities and is a lot more open. Its probably safe to say she only shows herself as what she wants to be to those close to her but to others the image of a well mannered and educated lady that her family brought her up to be.
Her personality certainly doesn’t seem to be suited for the choice of armed device that she uses, but that is not the case as she wields the device with believe and conviction during missions, and is certainly quite competent with the use of a sword that is quite long for her size. She’s a serious and dependable person, but she’s not that bad that she’s stoic or anything and she does have her fun side, which is a side she doesn’t show to many.
However, being born of parents who were former politicians in her world, she has always been pampered and well provided for by her family. Also, despite being in missions where the reality of how horrible and cruel situations and people can become, she naively everyone can be made to see reason, no matter how twisted or evil they may be. She trusts people too easily, is gullible, and takes many things at face value, a very dangerous trait when dealing with the many rogues who break the TSAB’s laws. Although
Professional Background: Joined the TSAB academy at the age of 10 and graduated at the age of 12, Jean has always been considered as highly talented. She uses modern Belka style magic, and uses a large sword equipped with the cartridge system. After graduating she was posted at the same unit Itsuki was in, a reunion she had always dreamed off, a reunion with the man who saved her from a fate of waiting to be killed as time ticked away in that hostage situation she was in years ago. She is currently poised to make it to sergeant in rank.
Fighting style: Strong despite her size due to training, Jean uses her sword with decent proficiency in combat.
Jean will sometimes use a straight cannon spell to attack opponents from mid range and immediately try to get up close to attack from close range. Should the opponent dodge, she can swing Griever in a wide arc and it will generate a flame wave covering the arc of the swing.
Mostly Jean will prefer to rely on her proficiency of her sword and not overly rely on her magical powers unless necessary.
Barrier Jacket: Jean’s barrier jacket is styled of a medieval knight, with a lot less armour plating. Her barrier jacket consists of a blue shirt with long sleeves, white long skirt reaching her knees, a steel breast plate, steel gauntlets, steel boots, and armour plates cover both sides of her hips. Not as heavy as those medieval fully armoured knights but still offers good protection and better mobility. The armour plates can even deflect weak magic attacks.
Device: Griever
Jean’s armed device, Griever is a two-handed single edge sword. Jean can use it to create energy blades, and area effect elemental waves of flame.
Storage mode:
Using the most practical form there is, Griever’s storage form is a silver pendant of what looks like the head of a lion from the side. The phrase “set-up” activates the device.
Device mode:
5 feet in length with a width 5 inches, it is a single-edge blade with one-foot long hilt with good grip and no cross guard. The hilt is a rich gold colour and the blade is solid black steel. The cartridge component is built at the back of the blade, as is common with most sword type armed devices, and is a revolver styled one, similar to that used in Bardiche. The blade is only slightly over an inch thick; therefore the device isn’t really all that heavy. However the blade’s length is still significantly quite long for her size and so she can’t swing it as fast as she would be able to with other sword based devices like Laevatine.
Model: Griever, gunblade of Squall from FF8, Kingdom Hearts
Offensive spells: Flame Wave: A wave of flame is created and sweeps out in an arc according to that of Griever’s swing. The wave generates a lot of heat and smoke, making it a good cover for follow up attacks. (Attack: B, Speed: B-, Range: arc of sword swing and half a man’s height, as far as 10 metres, Cartridge consumed: 1)
Blade Beam: A beam is generated from a swing of Griever that moves in a linear direction but fast enough to cause trouble for opponents who don’t get out of its way quick enough. (Attack: B, Speed: A+, Range: B-)
Inferno Rage: The typical cannon spell, effective at short to mid range and has decent power. Blast point occurs from tip of Griever. (Attack: B, Speed: B, Range: B)
Furious Swipe: The blade’s edge is sharpen by a surge of power from the release of a cartridge, giving the blade enhance power. (Attack: A, Cartridges used: 1)
Defensive spells: Omega Protection: As a front attacker, Jean needs to be able to shield herself from enemy attacks well with minimal support. This is a barrier spell that can even auto-cast whenever hostile attacks enter within a certain range. It can also be cast on allies or non-combatants during certain disaster or rescue operations. (Strength: A+, Radius: 2.5 metres)
Knight’s Shield: Jean’s shield spell that helps block frontal attacks that can’t be blocked otherwise with Griever. (Strength: AA+)
Support/Boost/Mobility Spells: Flight: Jean was part of the air force and knows how to fly. Needing lots of room to maneuver her sword, aerial combat became her preference, and Jean spends much of her personal training time on aerial combat simulations and how to increase her mobility and maneuverability in the air.
Phantom Mirage: The same spell that Itsuki has, which he taught to Jean during their time in the same air force unit. However she is not able to boost her speed by a lot or hold the spell as long as Itsuki can. (Speed boost: AA+, Duration: 3 minutes)
Ok, not exactly the most original but I don't want to stray too far from what's accepted. I realize that there's a lot of work to be done with my OCs and I'll make any changes where necessary. However I can't do this without feedback.
I know I'm new here and all, but I feel kind of left out really. =|
Anyway the device is probably the most unoriginal part there is. But when I thought of the device of my OC, I kept thinking and was looking around and it just hit me that a sword with a revolver in it (for the cartridge system) just had to be a gunblade. It just fits perfectly I guess.
Of course I think a little bit of adjustment is in order, so the original Griever is only a model. But basically that's what I'm looking at, except it being a straight hilt and minus the gun trigger.
Now I shall once again...*pochitto* *cowers in fear after clicking on submit button*
Not bad! She is fairly balanced... though you could use @ least one HUGE spell - but that can come later.
Okay, I have just one real quick question: When you make spoiler tag, how do you rename the tag itself (i.e. "Spoilers for length" or something like that)?
In return for an answer, I will provide my first OC
__________________
In my hands, a sun, that my path may be lit.
At my back, the sky, so I may be free to soar.
In my eyes, hell, for it is my cradle and grave.
Okay, I have just one real quick question: When you make spoiler tag, how do you rename the tag itself (i.e. "Spoilers for length" or something like that)?
In return for an answer, I will provide my first OC
If you click the spoiler tag button a dialog box pops up automatically. If you do yours by hand, then add an = to the first spoiler tag, followed by your spoiler's title.
Name: Asuka Ikari Tsukuyomi (Kanji: 明日火 - 怒り - 月読 )
Alias: Suncrusher
Current Affiliation: TSAB Military - Special Assignments Division [official rank and position classified]
Race: Human?
Origin: Unknown
Gender: Female
Age: 25 as of post-StrikerS
Height: 6'1" (185.4 cm)
Weight: 176 lbs (79.8 kg)
Hair: Black, shoulder length
Eyes: Flame red
Mage Rank: S+
Melee Skill: Intense
Ranged Skill: NONE
Magic Power: Undefined
Accuracy: Good
Agility: High-Excellent(depending on Jacket form)
Defense: Good-High(depending on Jacket form)
Overall Balance: Strictly Melee
Device: Exelika - longspear, Modular Device
Magic Style: Argentum style (Invented by her, explanation to come later)
Class: Vanguard
Magic Color: Silver
Magic Affinity: Machine
-----
Shortened Profile:
Nine years ago, the TSA had its first encounter with the girl known as Asuka. At that time, she was a cold-blooded mage fighter whose first seen act by military personnel was to appear literally from thin air; her second, directly before them, to impale a small-time thug they were battling, calm as the eye of a storm.
She agreed to answer for her act, maintaining that she had merely exacted a long-due revenge - for her own death. Skeptical at first, detailed interrogation and analysis proved that, some years before, Asuka had indeed been killed and returned to life, means unknown. Naturally, this fascinated the TSA’s science and top brass alike. In return for allowing herself to be examined and for working on contract for the TSA, she was never charged with murder.
Over the two years she spent as a specially assigned mage, she became good friends with rising stars Nanoha Takamachi-tachi and a well respected user of both her own unique magic and of the then-unique power of artifice. After those two years, she vanished, leaving as she had come - from thin air. It would be seven years before she showed up again.
When the TSA next saw her, it was like meeting someone new - Asuka looked the same as ever, but her old persona of cold-blooded, sarcastic cynicism had changed. She was warmer now, a bit more outgoing, but also more stoic, in the vein of someone who has seen something so profound it changed them. In Asuka's case, it has to have been something horrific - she absolutely will not talk about what happened to her during her long absence, save that it nearly killed her - again.
At some point during her absence, her body has also been cyborged, the legacy of seven years' worth of brutal violence. Some of these components are the result of countless injuries suffered; some, she admits, she added voluntarily.
At the time of her return, she offered her spear formally to the military, and has since been placed in the military's Special Assignments department. Her official designations are classified; she is addressed as “Rook,” a rank equivalent to Major. She essentially has the old-style designation of elite commando - she works alone, in the most dangerous of situations, and has almost unlimited leeway to get things done when all else has failed. Though she remains good friends with most of the former Sixth Division, and indeed spends much of what little free time she has with the only people she considers her friends, she works best alone.
-----
Personality:
Asuka is a calm, stoic girl who bears many of the signs of living on a battlefield. She's socially awkward around people she doesn't know, and her natural bluntness makes her come across as somewhat emotionless. Though she is distinctly cold-blooded (and rather foul-mouthed) even to close friends, she just isn't very good at expressing herself with words. She's also quick to form opinions and, though she doesn't provoke easily, tends to get non-comically violent if pushed too far.
She has a notorious pathological hatred of being touched - if someone she doesn't know touches her, she's likely to react by physically attacking them, and even her close friends know to keep at arm's length for fear of catching a verbal rebuke.
In battle, she takes a very direct approach to fighting - give no quarter and ask for none. She favors brutally powerful single strikes to "complicated tactical bullshit," to use her words. Her idea of combat is to strike swiftly, with no mercy, and is generally about as fearless a fighter as it gets. She nonetheless is a little archaic in her battle manners - she feels it proper to introduce each other as befits warriors, and generally eschews underhanded tactics - unless the situation demands it. Asuka is also not reckless in her actions; while aggressive in battle and quick to take action at any time, she’s also careful enough to know when to use cunning over power.
-----
Appearance:
Asuka stands tall at just over six feet, and her rail-thin build gives her a stretched appearance. She's nonetheless got some muscle, and looks quite strong for someone so slim. Due to her extensive cyborging, she's also heavy for someone of her slim build. Her hair is jet black, with a single red highlight down the back, and falls just to her shoulders, worn free. Her eyes are flame red, almost luminous under bright light; her left eye has a noticeable silver stripe among the red. A pattern of three vertical scars run from just below her left eye to halfway down her face - she claims to have had these from birth. Another scar is located just above her waist, horizontal, running all the way along her back.
Asuka's right arm is artificial, metal from hand to shoulder, constructed of a burnished metal as-yet-unknown to the TSAB. Slightly large and thus disproportionate to its owner, it contains a power-wrist very similar to the Revolver Knuckle, reinforced forearm bars for added combat durability, and a concealed blade in the palm, "just in case." Its range of motion is identical to her real arm, though it is somewhat heavy, which can affect her balance in the midst of her dancelike combat style.
Asuka's choice of wear is normally her Barrier Jacket, as she feels most comfortable in it, but on the rare occasions she wears casual clothes, she prefers a tattered black trenchcoat; floor length, split at the waist, and leaving her navel open; as well as a white miniskirt, and a zettai ryouiki of her Jacket's combat boots and fishnet stockings. Occasionally, she’ll add a somewhat random assortment of belts, usually four of more and worn around her legs or flesh arm.
-----
Skills and Abilities:
Asuka has a unique array of skills both magical and non. When she was revived, her Linker Core was somehow corrupted, rendering her unable to use "normal" magic at all. Her Core still functions; indeed its power has actually been amplified - sharply. She has the total mana potential of five normal mages - and can't make so much as a flashlight with it. Though a moderately skilled mage before reversal, she lost that power - but in the true spirit of warrior, she took her loss stoically, and began to train her body instead. Even before cyborging or even regaining magic power, she had developed freakish physical strength, unnerving dexterity, and near-limitless stamina.
How she came to learn Shaping - the artificing power to psychically manipulate machines - is a mystery, but with that power she began to reclaim magic. In what can only be called inspiration, she imagined a way to use machines to use magic for her, and thus began to remake her Device to do so, utilizing what amount to dedicated, remote mini-Devices to perform magic in her stead. [Covered more thoroughly in the "Device" section. ]
Her now-reclaimed magic is limited in function, but extremely powerful. Balanced towards her preference for melee combat, her magic ability is dedicated short-range - she has ONE long range magic attack and is otherwise limited to short-to-melee ranged combat. Fortunately, twenty years experience in rough-and-tumble melee fighting has given her uncommon skill in close-combat, and she knows ways to fight ranged mages.
Sometime in between her stint as a contract mage and the present time, Asuka cyborged her body - shockingly, she claims to have done so herself, for reasons she's less than forthcoming about. Even more shocking, some of these mechanical inserts are voluntary - she did so, though she hasn't said as much, because she could. These components, many of which are beyond TSA ability to fully comprehend, have augmented her already-great physical abilities even further, but has also had an adverse effect on her magic power, forcing her to artifice her Device even more to keep the balance.
[An up-to-date list of her magic can be found below, in "Spell List."]
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Device:
Asuka's Device is as unique as she is - indeed, it is because she herself is unique that her Device is as well. Its name is Exelika - a name the TSA recognized, when they got around to analyzing it, as a lost artifact of a civilization predating the humans that live on Midchilda today. In their haste to look over its owner, the machine itself was all but ignored until later. Supposedly over ten thousand years old, how Asuka obtained it is unknown; she claims to have "picked it up somewhere."
Owing to her body's natural properties as a result of being brought back, she can't use magic normally. Owing to her uncanny talent for artificing, she has almost completely refitted Exelika to do magic for her, and in her absence has also added two six-shot revolver-style Velkan cartridge systems to it - customized as well. Asuka is completely dependent on her Device to perform magic arts in her stead; she can't even fly without it in hand.
In its sealed form, it takes the shape of a diamond armlet, worn halfway up her upper left arm. Curiously, the armlet remains present even when unsealed. Unsealed, it becomes a longspear, with a cross-shaped, triple-bladed head; each blade is sheathed in colorless energy.
Exelika is a fully sentient Device, able to think, reason, and decide on its own. It speaks several languages, including Asuka's unknown native tongue, though speaks English by default. More importantly, it does so with perfect grammar. If possible, it will try to talk to someone in their preferred language, and calls Asuka “mistress.” It has a male voice similar in pitch to Asuka's own but no explicit gender as a Device. It does, however, have a functional humanoid form, taking the appearance of a distractingly bishonen young man, used by Asuka mainly to communicate is she herself is unable to do so. In contrast to its owner, Exelika is outgoing and optimistic. Its command phrase is “Ikuzo!” (Go!)
Its unique style of arcana is named the Argentum style by her. The secret is in machines called "nodes," small cylindrical remote-controlled drones controlled by the main Device. These nodes are essentially highly dedicated Storage Devices, which work synergistically with a master Device, performing the three steps to using magic: Draw(pulling mana from a Linker Core), Refine(shape that mana into the programmed spell), and Cast(open fire).
Exelika is equipped with nine nodes, eight free ones plus a master control node in the spear itself; eight is the maximum number of free nodes she has figured out how to control at once. The nodes themselves are built of darksteel and indestructible by conventional terms; however they are precision pieces of equipment and sufficient damage will disable them. A disabled (or not in use) node docks in a disk-shaped drone that floats alongside her, where it must auto-repair. (She can also wear said drone on her weapon arm as an impromptu shield. ) Auto-repair takes a full hour and a node cannot undock until repairs complete.
Again, due to her corrupted Core, normal Devices cannot siphon Asuka's mana properly and will either not function or possibly injure her; Exelika has been specially rebuilt to physically tear mana from her, a very inefficient, not to mention stamina-demanding, process; a normal human would be unable to endure the strain for long. Therefore, while she has five times a normal mage's mana, her magic isn't much stronger than any other mage's. Exelika's nodes refine this mana externally as much as possible.
This means that her magic's power is variable; if she uses all eight nodes to cast a given spell, it will be at full strength; using one or two, it won't have as much power. The flip side of this is that each node, as an individual Storage Device, is capable of processing spells individually, so using the above example, she could use one powerful spell or several low-power ones. This is what makes her such a unique mage - she has a limited array of magic, but can inherently vary it more than one might think. Certain properties change depending on the nodal level of a spell; see "Spell List" below.
Exelika's Full Drive is called Halcyon Mode. It ethereally fuses Exelika's nodes to the cybernetic components of Asuka's body, increasing her physical parameters by great amounts, most notably her animal senses, which become inhumanly sharp. The downside is that this mode is apparently painful to use, and she claims extended time can cause injury. She needs no external nodes to utilize this Drive; however, its parameters change if she does invoke some - more used will increase power, but lower the safe usage time.
Device Incantation:
"An oath forged on darksteel blood...Body of iron, mind of steel, soul of silver. Recall ancient's command, metal bowing to forgetten words. With a wish of gold, feel the aether's heartbeat! Now relinquish, look forth, aim for tomorrow! Together, we are the spear! Exelika...Set Up!!!"
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Barrier Jacket:
Though formally named a "Defense Grid" in the Argentum style, Asuka just calls it her “armor”, for it looks like actual armor. A light metal breastplate covers her assets and back, leaving her torso open. Light greaves cover her boots, black knee-length leather combat boots(complete with a knife sheath and knife); a similarly styled but heavy and long bracer covers her flesh arm, which is also clad in an elbow-length, fingerless black leather glove. She wears very short shorts, also in black leather, with extra armor over her hips; long silver sashes hang from each hip plate to floor length. Very small plates guard her shoulders as well. All her armor is the same flame red as her eyes.
Forms:
Aegis form -
A defensive form and its default mode. Aegis form emphasizes protection - up close, all the armor seems to have a mirrored finish, designed to deflect magic energy more efficiently. The Jacket's defensive fields are also more powerful, but she loses some agility for all the protection.
Harpe form -
A speedy form, not preferred by her unless she needs the extra agility. Her armor, already light, becomes even lighter-styled, skeletal more than anything, and the defense fields are all but unpowered to allow for more speed. Her defensive ability suffers while in this form, but her agility is almost unparalleled.
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Spell List:
Asuka's magic is entirely short-range, with a single exception; she's optimized for brutal melee combat.
- Attack -
Arcane Spiral: Long range; bombardment, non-elemental
Launches a concrescent ray from the tip of her spear, straight-flying for over around 300 meters. Slow to charge up but surprisingly efficient and with reasonable power and accuracy, it is Asuka's sole long range spell.
Blasting Wall: Point blank, AOE, non-elemental
Generates a short, violent ripple in the immediate area before her, in the manner of a shockwave. This is an instant-cast spell with almost no firing time; being primarily a disruption move, its offensive power is minimal, though so is its mana use.
Silver Arc: Short range, powered attack, machine-elemental
Diverting a surge of magic onto her spear's triple blades, Asuka spins in place, "throwing" a wave of silver, bladed light a short distance before her. She needs at least two nodes to perform this move. Average in both power and mana use.
Lancer Core: Short range, physical attack, non-elemental
An ace-in-the-hole technique, Asuka shoots Exelika's spearhead off on an energy chain. This doesn't actually need mana to fire and thus can be used anytime; she often uses a cartridge to boost its power. The chain has a range of about 20 meters.
Revolver Hammer: Short range, powered attack, machine-elemental
A direct reverse-engineer of Subaru's similarly named technique; Asuka uses a power weapon on her mechanical arm for this (which also suspiciously resembles the Revolver Knuckle). This move requires a cartridge or two, but no nodes.
Wishblade: Short-range, AOE, non-elemental
Designed specially for use on shielded or armored targets, this spell utilizes a dual-layer effect. Two to four nodes “hold” a mana charge, which builds over time. After a short time, she can fire it as a point-blank spellbomb, which uses its dual layers to punch through AMF and the like.
Iron Cyclone: Short range, powered attack, machine-elemental
Asuka binds multiple nodes to her spear temporarily and uses them to shoot a pressure wave in front of her. If she employs at least three cartridges, this spell has the unique effect of drawing the enemy in rather than forcing them away. Very slow to refire.
Soundbreak: Point blank, powered attack, machine-elemental
Her trademark finishing move, Asuka forms a mana spike within her spear's tip, and stabs the enemy, firing it explosively into her target (and usually drilling a hole in the unlucky victim). This is a killing blow and requires a lot of energy, and four active nodes, to use.
Chronocurse: Short range, powered attack, machine elemental
Asuka's second strongest attack consists of her animating some or all nodes, using cartridges to affix magical blades to them (one per node), and remote-controlling them at high speed. Though very powerful and difficult to block or dodge, she is leaves herself open while using this move.
Forbidden Impact: Short range, powered attack/AOE, non-elemental
Her final offensive tech is to expend at least six cartridges, use at least six nodes, charge for a few seconds, and dashes forward at extremely high speed, sheathed in a violent energy field. She can stop dead mid-flight and fire this energy off like a short-range cannon blast; this variant is called "Sundering Impact." Has positively immense power, but uses much in return.
-Defense-
Hallation: Barrier
Exelika's auto-guard spell. Noticeably weaker than most auto-guards, but is dual-layered to make up for it.
Poly Shield: Shield
Generates a powerful shield between multiple nodes, with size varying from buckler-sized to full-body height. The more nodes used, the stronger the shield is. Best against physical attacks.
Repulsion: Shield
Not a true defense skill, Asuka releases a half-sphere shaped blast of energy. This move deals no damage, but pushes back and disrupts an enemy in close combat.
Silver Palm: Shield
Effectively generates a Poly Shield on her right forearm, further increasing that metal arm's defense at the cost of lowering her offensive strength.
Bastion: Shield
Generates a large, nearly-impenetrable AMF between multiple nodes. The effect is fairly short-lived, but extremely powerful.
-Attach-
A new type of spell unique to Argentum magic, Attach-type spells attach a node to another target, ally or enemy. The node provides a passive ability when attached. They remain attached until the controller releases them; they can also be thrown off like bind effects. Regardless of the attachee, the controller's mana is used to power it and thus can become draining over time. The effect automatically ends if a node is disabled.
Attach/Regenerate:
A positive attach that increases the target's stamina regeneration, granting additional strength to fight.
Attach/Capture:
A negative attach, functioning much like a bind. Most stronger targets can resist a full bind, but will still suffer a great loss of agility.
Attach/Power:
A positive attach, boosting the target's physical strength. Given Asuka's preference for melee combat, the value of this spell is obvious.
Attach/Wither:
Weakens a target's resistance to damage. This does not actually lower defensive parameters; it makes the target more vulnerable to damage dealt.
Attach/Shield:
A positive attach for boosting defense. As with Wither, it doesn't directly boost defensive power, but negates a portion of damage taken.
Attach/Jinx: A negative attach that interferes with the target's mana flow, causing their magic to function erratically, and sometimes uncontrollably.
Attach/Sight: Enhances the target’s vision, both natural and artificial. This increases that target’s perception and sight range, and allows them to better detect stealthed enemies.
Attach/Numbness: Induces numbness in a target’s body, lowering that target’s physical reactions and mobility. Of little effect on constructs and other completely mechanical enemies.
-Other-
Mistwalk: Movement
Allows Asuka to move at extremely high speed, faster than even her own eyes can track her. The catch is that she can only move in a straight line.
Reductor: Break-out
A standard bind/effect breaking skill.
Dragonfly Aspect: Stealth
Shrouds Asuka in a powerful stealth field, rendering her invisible to sight and almost undetectable to most scanners. She cannot use magic or physically attack while the field is up or else it will weaken, revealing her.
-Ceremonial-
Exelika has one mighty ceremonial spell.
Damnation: Unknown range, AOE, unknown elemental
Requires a full stock of nodes and cartridges, Full Drive, and Exelika's human form. Both warriors grasp her spear together, middle and back, and together chant Exelika's incantation – replacing “Set Up!” with the phrase “This ends now!” At the finish, it fires a blast powerful enough to damage the very earth, range and damage unknown. Asuka has never used this spell in view of the TSA, and claims to be unable to use it more than once per week.
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Trivia:
-Although not Japanese, Asuka learned it while working as a contract mage and uses it as if it were her native language; she writes her name, which happens to be pronounced as if it were a Japanese name, in self-assembled kanji and is particularly fond of blunt, masculine-style speech. ("Ore wa Asuka da. Yoroshiku na.")
-"Asuka" written the way her name is in Japanese means "tomorrow's fire," which can be interpreted as a very poetic euphemism for "dawn;" in her native tongue "Asuka" literally means "dawn."
-She loves rock candy; offering her some is a great way to break the ice.
-Conversely, offering her fish of any kind is a good way to make her nauseous (and therefore hate you).
-She also likes to play video games...
-As mentioned above, be very careful not to physically touch her; she really doesn't care what you do, look at, or say as long as you keep your distance.
-Asuka is also fond of a good verbal sparring match.
Whew...so, what do you guys think?
This is an OC I have used several times, she's been a little different each time but I keep using her because she fits so well. I tried to make her unique, and powerful, but without being broken.
Comments/questions/critique is all welcome. If you wanna borrow her for a story or something, that's cool too, just drop me a line.
And with any luck, I'll have someone new before too long.
__________________
In my hands, a sun, that my path may be lit.
At my back, the sky, so I may be free to soar.
In my eyes, hell, for it is my cradle and grave.
Last edited by LimitedEternal; 2008-01-27 at 03:20.
2007-09-16, 14:25
Author
and Treize too 
