It seems one of them is part of the team that is translating Little Busters. So if all goes well there is a chance Witch Hunt won't need to translate Higanbana, or they can join later (depending on who's faster).
As long as we're on the topic of corrections, I have a fairly large compilation of corrections I put together as I was rereading the series. I stopped after the second game, because it started to detract from my enjoyment, but hopefully these will prove useful to someone. Note that these are corrections from a few months back, so some may have been fixed in subsequent revisions; I don't know.
Spoiler for Lots of corrections from Episodes 1 and 2:
Umineko 1: Legend of the Golden Witch
(Before the first twilight; Kyrie and Hideyoshi talking about family in the airport):
“He’s is already a fine adult who’s about to go off on his own, so it might be a good time to have another child.”
Should be “He’s already” or “He is already”
(Before the first twilight; Battler and George talking about their parents):
“You’re the one who looks like an real adult, analyzing it all calmly.”
Should be “a real adult”
(Before the first twilight; Battler and Maria reuniting):
“So, it’s no surprise that this nine year old girl doesn’t have any memories of me. Even I can only remember her being a three year old crybaby.”
Should be “9-year-old girl” and “3-year-old crybaby”
(Before the first twilight; Battler talking to Kyrie about the theory of a 19th person after they both leave the siblings’ inheritance discussion):
“This quickly starting to sound pretty creepy.”
Should be “this is” or “started”
(Before the first twilight; Battler talking to Rudolph and Kyrie after the siblings decide to take a break from the inheritance discussion):
“Sound like we’ll be up all night, doesn’t it?”
Should be “Sounds”
(Before the first twilight; Rudolph talking to Battler and Kyrie about the need to have a family talk; after the siblings decide to take a break from the inheritance discussion):
“Don’t make that scared looking face. I’m the one that should be scared.” ”scared looking” should be hyphenated
(Before the first twilight; Rudolph talking to Battler and Kyrie about how he will likely be killed that night; after the siblings decide to take a break from the inheritance discussion):
“Dad face, which always looked so sure of itself and which always…”
Should be “Dad’s face,”
(Before the first twilight; After Rudolph tells Battler and Kyrie that he will likely be killed that night)
“So he actually means ‘In that case, chase after me and talk to me, and ask me about it yourself’. By saying ‘Don’t follow me’, he actually means the opposite. He actually means “Follow me and force me to answer.”……Seriously, what a spoiled brat.”
Punctuation goes inside the inner quotes. Should use inner quotes around “Follow me and force me to answer”
(Before the first twilight; when Krauss shows Natsuhi the gold ingot)
“It was a ingot of solid gold.”
Should be “an ingot”
(After the first twilight; when Kumasawa points out the blood in the dining hall)
“Dad, when did all of you finish their meeting and go to sleep……?”
Should be “your meeting”
(After the first twilight; when Battler is discussing with Eva who the culprit could be)
“…Just like the words of the main character’s mother in a novel I read recently called “Higurashi no naku koro ni”.
Period goes inside the quotes, and “naku” and “koro” should be capitalized.
(After the first twilight; Battler thinking back on Kyrie’s chessboard thinking while trying to deduce the culprit)
“In other words, since we would probably find the corpses sooner or later, they ‘wanted to show us them’.”
Punctuation goes inside the inner quotes
(After the first twilight; Battler thinking back on Kyrie’s chessboard thinking while trying to deduce the culprit)
“……If we had all been dim and hadn’t noticed the storage shed, the culprit’s goal ‘would not have been achieved’, would it?”
Punctuation goes inside the inner quotes
(After the first twilight; Battler thinking back on Kyrie’s chessboard thinking while trying to deduce the culprit)
“After all, if we hadn’t been so kind as to discover what was on the storehouse, all of that hard work and preparation that they had done last night would have just gone ‘poof’.”
Punctuation goes inside the inner quotes
(After the first twilight; Battler thinking back on Kyrie’s chessboard thinking while trying to deduce the culprit):
“…It ‘did have meaning to those who found the bodies’.”
Punctuation goes inside the inner quotes
Throughout the episode, both quotes (“) and inner quotes (‘) often have their accompanying punctuation misplaced. As a general rule, periods, commas, etc. go inside quotation marks and inner quotes, the exception being question marks, which are usually positioned outside of quotes, unless of course they’re a part of what’s being quoted. There were so many instances of this, it seemed more reasonable to put this here, rather than attempt to catalogue them all.
(After the first twilight; just after the servants tell Battler Beatrice is real):
“In any case, if eleven people are shut up in the same room starting early in the morning, the air will start to get stagnate.”
Should be “start to get stagnant” or “start to stagnate”
Also, "eleven" should read "11"
(After the first twilight; as Eva explains how she wedged a receipt in Kinzo’s door and suspicion falls on Natsuhi):
“…………An autopsy an extremely difficult task that requires both experience and instinct…”
Should be “An autopsy is”
(After the fourth twilight; when the survivors hole up in Kinzo’s study)
“……We can’t do nothing except pass the time listening to the sound of the rain…until tomorrow morning.”
Should be “We can’t do anything except” or “We can do nothing except.”
(After the fourth twilight; when the survivors hole up in Kinzo’s study)
“……Whether the culprit was Beatrice herself or someone pretending to be her, whether they were the witch or a human, that was besides the point.”
Should be “beside the point.”
(After the fourth twilight; as Natsuhi accuses the servants)
“Maybe Kumasawa and Doctor Nanjo are your accomplices!! / ………And Maria-chan!
“/” should be removed
(After the eighth twilight; just before the clock reaches midnight)
“When you think about it, isn’t 24:00 is a strange time?”
Should be “isn’t 24:00 a strange time?”
(After the eighth twilight; as the clock strikes midnight)
“The laughter of the witch, ……no, the witches…joined together until even large clock in the hall was laughing.”
Should be “even the large clock in the hall”
Umineko 2: Banquet of the Golden Witch
(Before the first twilight; Shannon and George at the aquarium):
“That’s why I thought her expression about cutting of a part of the sea with a knife was so interesting.”
Should be “cutting off a part”
(Before the first twilight; George and Shannon eating at the buffet):
“I was…how should I put it…worried about my appearance and choose a menu suited for a snob, toast, salad and coffee.”
Should be “chose a menu” and “snob: toast, salad and coffee”
(Before the first twilight; George and Shannon eating at the buffet):
“If I were by myself, I’d have made a pile of oily stuff like yakisoba, mash potato, gratins, and the like.”
Should be “mashed potatoes”
Also, you want to stay consistent with your use of commas in lists of items. It’s acceptable to put a comma before “and [last item]” in a list or to omit it, but whichever you choose, you should try to stick to it as you write. This sentence includes a final comma (“…gratins, and the like”), while the previous sentence omitted it (“…salad and coffee”). This same consistency issue comes up repeatedly throughout the Umineko translation.
(Before the first twilight; George and Shannon eating at the buffet):
“Maybe the reason I thought she should have at least one more dish was because I was thinking with man’s stomach.”
Should be “a man’s stomach”
(Before the first twilight; George and Shannon eating at the buffet):
“A, a woman’s stomach made of magic, so this is enough…au.”
Should be “is made of magic”
(Before the first twilight; George and Shannon walking along the beach):
“I have one more whim., but I’m not sure if you’d be willing to listen.”
Remove the period after “whim”
(Before the first twilight; Shannon breaking the mirror at the shrine)
“I look down on the mirror tumbling at my feet, broken in two equal parts…, and after I made sure I’ve accomplished my task, ……I scream while looking up at the enraged sky.”
Should be “after I make sure” to avoid a tense issue
(Before the first twilight; George talking to Jessica in the garden about his parents’ loan):
“Of course, my father will use what he borrows to expand his business, and he came with a plan that could be refused.”
Should probably be “couldn’t be refused”
(Before the first twilight; Shannon, George and Jessica chatting in the garden):
“She was nothing more than a servant, and she had no intention of delving into her master’s lives.”
Should be “masters’ lives”
(Before the first twilight; Natsuhi scolding Shannon about her slow work pace):
“So she could compete her jobs with a result looked similar to an outsider, but in a much shorter time.”
Should be “complete” and “result that looked”
(Before the first twilight; Shannon meeting Beatrice for the first time):
“Why would a ignorant, incompetent, uncultured girl like you be suitable?”
Should be “an ignorant”
(Before the first twilight; Shannon talking to Beatrice in the rose garden):
“According to what Beatrice said, several times in the distant past, she had been called by people and given them an tool imbued with some kind of magic power.”
Should be “a tool”
(Before the first twilight; Shannon and Jessica planning to have Kanon pose as Jessica’s boyfriend at the cultural festival):
“……It took several days of fruitless efforts, but in the end, Jessica agreed to plan of having Kanon pretend to be her boyfriend……”
Should be “to the plan”
(Before the first twilight; Jessica and her friends waiting for Kanon at the cultural festival):
“As my friends all gathered together, …they were looking this way with hard to describe expressions, whispering to each other! in small voices that weren’t small anymore.”
Should be “hard-to-describe expressions” and “whispering to each other in”
(Before the first twilight; Jessica and Kanon talking about their other selves in the rose garden):
“But that was far, far away, beyond of the distant fog of oblivion…”
Should be “beyond the distant”
(Before the first twilight; Jessica and Kanon talking about their other selves in the rose garden):
“Only she had been in a heavily constricted environment. forced to learn various things, and it had even interfered with the friends she had played with.
This is a really awkward pair of sentences. I’d suggest “Only she had been raised in a heavily constricted environment, forced to learn various things that interfered with the friends she played with.”
(Before the first twilight; Genji addressing Kanon and Shannon about their important guest):
“…She had planned on to hiding the fact that her reunion with George after such a long time was making her heart palpitate, but Kanon, who stood at her side, understood her perfectly.”
Should be “planned on hiding” or “planned to hide”
(Before the first twilight; Rosa showing up at the airport):
The text runs off the bottom of the screen after “I much prefer the 30 minute plane trip to spending six hours bouncing about on a boat. Even if we’re” It starts up again at “Is that Maria…?” Also, “30 minute” should be hyphenated.
(Before the first twilight; Maria and Battler talk about Halloween):
“You oftenly see people marching in costume parades on the news from overseas, but I’ve never seen it in Japan.”
Should be “You often see”
(Before the first Twilight; Rudolph talking to his company about their financial issues):
“After that, we should make only the amount of money the point at issue.”
I’m not quite sure what this line is supposed to say. It may be worth giving another look.
(Before the first twilight; Rudolph talking to Kyrie on a plane):
“I’m going to hell.”
Hell should be capitalized.
(Before the first twilight; Kinzo talking to Nanjo):
“It seemed that Kinzo believed that magic and miracles could happen by betting your own fate with certain kind of risk and triumphing…”
Should be “with a certain kind of risk” or “with certain kinds of risks”
(Before the first twilight; Maria talking to everyone about Halloween):
“Now you mention it, I get the feeling that October is a turning point in various ways, including seasonally.”
Should be “Now that you mention it”
(Before the first twilight; Kanon consoling Maria after Rosa beats her):
“And he remembered that, upon the witch’s departure, she had left with parting words staying that she would eventually be revived.”
Should be “saying that”
(Before the first twilight; Beatrice speaking to Rosa and Maria):
“Rosa looked back and forth several times between the witch’s face and the envelope that was handed her.”
Should be “handed to her”
(Before the first twilight; Battler talking to the cousins before taking a nap):
“What I’m mean by saying that is it’s not my turn now… Kuaaaaaaaaaaah…… Sorry, my mind’s a mess”
Should be “What I mean”
(Before the first twilight; Gohda, Genji and Shannon talking about who will deliver the meal to Beatrice):
“It is quite painful for me to entrust this to someone inexperienced as yourself, but there’s nothing we can do about the house’s rules.”
Should be “someone as inexperienced as yourself”
(Before the first twilight; Gohda being questioned about a 19th person):
“He hadn’t imagined that Krauss and his wife might not have know.”
Should be “have known”
(Before the first twilight; the cousins talking about Beatrice in the guest house):
“So those who didn’t know the details…like young Maria, for example, it definitely wasn’t vague, …but a real legend of the witch.”
Should be “For those who didn’t”
(Before the first twilight; Maria and Battler arguing over Beatrice with a chess analogy):
“If you get checkmate, you will believe in the witch.”
Should be “If you get checkmated” or “If she gets checkmate”
It wouldn’t make any sense for Battler to believe in the witch if he disproved her existence (got checkmate).
(Before the first twilight; Beatrice commenting on Kanon’s regrets): ”With this, the conditions for all of the pieces is the same”
Should be “are the same”
(After the first twilight; Beatrice talking to Battler):
“In the last game, you were grieving that you couldn’t see your parents faces when they died, right?”
Should be “parents’ faces”
(After the first twilight; Jessica searching Beatrice’s room): ”Jessica, thinking that she might be hiding somewhere inside the room, peeked behind the curtains and under the bed, but she couldn’t to find anyone.”
Should be “but she couldn’t find anyone”
(After the first twilight; Beatrice and the Goat confronting Kanon and Jessica):
“And………as a symbol that is was not human, …it had two horns.”
Should be “as a symbol that it was not human”
(After the second twilight; Battler, George, Maria, Rosa and Nanjo leaving the chapel):
“Kihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihi. / Ouch.”
Remove the slash
(After the second twilight; Nanjo being questioned about the chapel’s significance.):
“………However, it does seems that this was the root of all the complexity in the inheritance problem.”
Should be “it does seem” or “it seems”
(After the second twilight; Battler and Beato arguing about the chapel as a closed room):
“………Hohoh, so you use that reasoning. *cackle*cackle*, how naïve. / An expected move.”
Remove the slash
(After the first twilight; Maria and the cousins discussing what the culprit could be after):
“……I haven’t heard that she’s said anything except talking about whether we can solve the riddle of the epitaph or not.”
This is a pretty awkward sentence. A possible rewrite: “I haven’t heard that she’s talked about anything except whether we can solve the riddle of the epitaph or not.”
(After the second twilight; Rosa suggesting everyone go together to get Kanon and Jessica.):
“If we’re all gathered together in equilibriu
m, that situation is the most safe.”
Remove the awkward line break from “equilibrium”
(After the second twilight; Rosa, Battler and George talking about Jessica’s murder):
“That was the simplest closed room trick.”
Should be “closed-room trick”
(After the second twilight; Rosa, Battler and George talking about Jessica’s murder):
“…And if he could get out after those who discovered the body left, the closed room murder would work perfectly.”
Should be “closed-room murder”
(After the second twilight; The Servants tending to the wounded Kanon):
“Kumasawa firmly gripped Kanon’s hand, and kept encouraging him so that the willpower keeping him alive didn’t fall asleep.”
Obviously willpower can’t actually “fall asleep,” and that would make for a fairly awkward metaphor. This sentence should be reworded to something along the lines of: “Kumasawa firmly gripped Kanon’s hand and kept encouraging him so that he didn’t fall asleep and lose the willpower that was keeping him alive.”
(After the second twilight; Rosa chasing out the servants from the parlor):
“It’s obvious that some duplicate keys exists.”
Should be “duplicate keys exist.”
(After the second twilight; Battler giving in to Beato):
“For just an instant, you though maybe it would be alright to lick my shoes, didn’t you?”
Should be “you thought maybe”
(After the second twilight; the servants explaining Nanjo and Kumasawa’s murders to George):
Lots of mentions of “spider-web” and “spider-webs” around here. Neither should be hyphenated.
(After the second twilight; the servants explaining Nanjo and Kumasawa’s murders to George):
“……So when, as they say, the reef was struck by lightning and disappeared, the bottom of the ocean…”
I’m not sure what this sentence is supposed to say. “disappeared to the bottom of the ocean” perhaps?
(After the second twilight; Maria and Battler working on solving the portrait’s epitaph together):
“………I thought that even if we did solve it, would that be doing just what the culprit wanted us to, and would all be a wasted effort…”
Should be “that would be” Also, the conversation between Battler and Maria jumps from his “What was it again, that Beatrice said she would do if we solved this?” to her “No, that’s not true.” The “I thought that even if…” sentence above, that was between them, should probably be in quotes (Batter saying it to Maria, rather than just thinking it to himself), for their conversation to make sense.
(After the second twilight; Gohda, George and Shannon searching for Natsuhi’s mirror):
“…They were new servants, who worked for the new master of the mansion, the Golden Witch Beatrice, who had goat’s heads and bright-red, boiled eyes of lava!!”
Should be “goat heads” and probably “boiling” rather than “boiled”
(After the second twilight; Beatrice sending Kanon after Shannon and George):
“*cackle*cackle*cackle*cackle*cackle*cackle*c
ackle*”
Fix the awkward line break in the last cackle
(After the eighth twilight; Battler examining the corpses of Nanjo and Kumasawa):
“So, by looking that one that had fallen over, for the first time, I realized that it wasn’t a knife, but something like a stake.”
Should be “by looking at the one that had fallen over”
(After the eighth twilight; Battler boozing it up):
“Even though I look like this, I am well know as a breast-sommelier, you see?”
Should be “well known”
(After the eighth twilight; Genji leading Battler to Kinzo’s study):
“………If I have chance to work hard in my studies, then no problem.”
Should be “the chance” or “a chance”
(After the eighth twilight; As the game results roll):
“Turn of the golden witch”
Should be “Golden Witch”
(After the ninth twilight; Rosa and Maria fleeing from the goats):
“She had bought that as a birthday present,……and then hadn’t played it for Maria after that night.”
Should be “played it with Maria”
(Tea Party; Rosa recounting how her siblings bullied her):
“She was always a very sly person, and she often lied to me, tricked me, bullied me all time.”
Should be “all the time” though “often” and “all the time” are redundant. You could also throw an “and” in there, assuming the asyndeton wasn’t intentional.
“She was always a very sly person who lied to, tricked and bullied me.” would probably be best.
(Tea Party; Beatrice feeding Rosa her siblings):
“It goes without saying, but I made this salad liberally using five of Eva’s tongues. You can’t steal more than one out of one tongue. But I can steal it over and over.”
Should be “You can’t steal more than one out of one person.” It doesn’t make sense to steal tongues from tongues.
(Tea Party; Beatrice feeding Rosa her siblings):
There are a ton of run on sentences around here, but I’m going to assume that’s a stylistic choice and ignore them.
(Tea Party; Beatrice feeding Rosa her siblings):
“If you want to laugh, then you can laugh, if you won’t feel better until you’ve heard a raw performance of your annoying older sibling’s screams, then I’ll let you hear them as often as you want.”
Should be “older siblings’”
(????; Beatrice talking to Bernkastel):
“You’re a outrageous person to come into someone else’s territory from such a great distance and work against me.”
Should be “an outrageous person”
Last edited by SonicTheMonkey; 2011-08-20 at 18:07.
Reason: Corrected an error on my part.
I actually noticed very few errors in the translation (of course, if I were editing or proofing, I'd look a bit more carefully).
I think I saw one in the scrolling image for the ending of the second episode, but I can't recall what the problem was.
I did notice this one, though (line 111,695):
Code:
;「…お前なんかベアトのまんまで充分だぜ。@ベアトとベアトリーチェで充分区別付くだろ。」@
`"...Just 'Beato' is good enoguh for you.`@` There's probably enough of a difference between Beato and Beatrice."`@
When you're reading it's pretty easy to miss errors like that. Your brain tends to correct it for you and you never notice it.
Yeah, I didn't notice some of them. However, there are actually quite a number that I did notice, but completely forgot about (most notably the line breaks that appear in the middle of words).
I have no idea who it is (and I don't think Ixrec mentioned it again, while he stated he wasn't disappointed by it), but nothing prevents us or other people to help them or anything (our group is a huge example of that: Chrono joined way after the project started).
I also noticed an error. in episode 1 after the first twilight, they are talking about the marking on the shed door. Hideyoshi calls it a swastika when its actually an ironcross.
Think we found a small, tiny typo while working on EP7 Italian patch, though it's practically invisibile. Meh, I wasn't even sure if it was worth posting it, but still.
The subtitle in the book graphic for Yasu's story (story_list#.png) for chapter 2 reads "Yeah, seriously. Not only was Yasu slow-witted, that kid also lost stuff all the time.", while chapter 3 reads "Didn't they say he was gathering children to be sacrifices for his magic experiments?!".
Actually, IIRC, that phrase about magic experiments refers to Chapter 2, The First Friend, while the one about Yasu losing stuff is part of Chapter 3, Days Enraptured.
Yes, that reference was originally in the japanese text: "ターンエンドね？アンタップ、アップキープ、ドロー！！"
It certainly caught me offguard the first time I've read it in Japanese.
First I just wanted to say:
Thanks so much for all your hard work!
However I am having a problem with the patches. I recently updated my Macbook to OSX 10.7 (lion) and now nothing happens when I start up the umineko vn applications.
Before, when I had snowleopard everything worked just fine. Do you think this is a problem that will be fixed at some point, or if I want to read my favorite VN ever again I'll have to revert my OS?
2011-08-19, 12:10
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