Politeness in the world

[Aoie_Emesai]

I've always found, "be respectful, as you may never know when you may meet them again" as my quote on how I do business.

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

Firstly, I would like to make a point that, courtesy impounded upon others is always an excuse for dominance and is often entirely whimsical.

I doubt that is the case. Acting courteous to another or receiving it back doesn't automatically tag someone as a superior person or not. It's like that old saying "people aren't born polite" it's something either taught, by oneself or another.

[SaintessHeart]

Originally Posted by Aoie_Emesai

I doubt that is the case. Acting courteous to another or receiving it back doesn't automatically tag someone as a superior person or not. It's like that old saying "people aren't born polite" it's something either taught, by oneself or another.

What I actually meant was that criticising and "forcing" others to be polite.

[Vexx]

Originally Posted by KawaiiKimmy

I hate it in my job when I'm trying to take a customer's drink order & they're blatently chatting away on their mobile phone completely oblivious to the fact that they're actually holding everybody else up in the queue behind then cos they're far more interested in the converstion they're having on the other end of the phone with the person on the line!

It drives me round the bend! And it's just plain ignorant towards me!

Not a single ounce of politeness or a "please" or "thankyou" anywhere usually!

You might suggest to your boss that a sign be placed that says, "No cellphones while placing an order or you will be bypassed."

I've been in more than a few coffeeshops with that sign displayed
About a month ago, I was behind a chatting moron at a grocery checkout delaying the process and I finally said loudly that she should get out of line if she wasn't going to interact with the clerk. Then I glared her down, saying "You are rude. Hang up or move NOW or I'll summon the manager and make a fool of you in front of everyone."

Wow, she turned red.....

I've had a few clerks thank me for refusing to take a call while I'm interacting with them. That's what the "f'ing voicemail" is for....

[Aoie_Emesai]

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

What I actually meant was that criticising and "forcing" others to be polite.

Oh...

my mistake then ^^

Back to watching Capeta then

[Kusa-San]

Originally Posted by Jan-Poo

If it is in the limit of what is expected by social rules, lying is perfectly fine.
For example if you meet a complete stranger for the first time you can say "i'm glad to meet you" even if you aren't really particularly glad. Now i can't make many examples but what i mean is it's not really lying, because the other person should be aware that you are just being polite. It's like when someone compliments an old woman saying that she's very charming, that old woman is supposed to accept the compliment but not to really believe in it.

Hum i understand what you mean but i have some problem with that. I'm someone who really don't like lying and when i lie i'm feeling bad about it. So if i must say a compliment to an old woman i will say that "she is charming for her age" but i won't only say "she is charming" because it's a half lie for me. I think you can be polite and honest at the same time even if sometimes it's difficult.

Some people said that politeness and respect is not the same but i don't agree here. Politeness is, by extension, a sort of respect. When you say "Hello" to a
bus driver, you're not only saying "hello". You're showing him that you respect him and respect what he did. And i think it's something very important that people must do.

Back when i was in IUT (don't remember the english translation for this : HNT ? ENT ? ) I took always the same bus with always the same driver. In this bus everyone always said "Hello" to the bus driver and "Goodbye" to him. One day, after I said hello to the driver he said at one of his colleague "You know here, everyone say hello to me and goodbye to me" "Really O_o ?" "Yes really it's the first time i see that" And I cleary saw that he was really happy about it. And that's why I think it's important to be polite with someone who help you with his job.

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

Haha like I said, respect is not an entitlement. I work and earn it not by being polite, but by being honest to both myself and the other. I got one today in someone scolded me for being discourteous when I was preventing him from entering a room which I am keeping watch over. I just went, "Hm, hm, hm ok." while he was ranting about me being impolite. If not for the circumstances I am in, I would have just told him to grow out of his grudge mentality.

If i understand correctly what you mean being honest for you is more important than being polite. But as i said you can be polite and honest at the same time. It's not impossible. I don't like people who say that they're honest and hurt people because of that. I think there is a way to say thing. When you're only saying what you think without any restrain, It's true that you're honest but you hurt your interlocutor. You must be careful with your word and choose them with precaution to say the same but in a manner that not hurt him. I think it's very important to do that.

Originally Posted by Narona

Exactly. he meant the Bus, I'm pretty sure of that.

Yes exactly and you have summed my pov well Miss ^^ And don't worry I won't change. I'm proud of my behaviour

[WanderingKnight]

Heh, I live in a country where it's perfectly normal to salute someone you only saw once or twice with a kiss on the cheek. We're candid people

Either way, here it always depends on where you go. In the "lower" margins of the city, where people have a more traditional view of family and social relationships, politeness and warmness towards people not immediately in your family circle is a given. When you go downtown or to the hip zones, people become snottier and less immediately social.

I don't know which is better. Since I'm kind of picky with the people I choose to relate with, I may come off as impolite sometimes. The other thing is that, when I'm doing something that annoys me (shopping, getting on the bus after a tiring day, etc) I'm usually thinking about something else, so I pay little attention to my surroundings, especially to what people are doing, and so I don't realize it's time to say "Hi", for example. It has led to a couple of frowned eyebrows, and sometimes an apology on my part.

[Narona]

Originally Posted by Kusa-San

Hum i understand what you mean but i have some problem with that. I'm someone who really don't like lying and when i lie i'm feeling bad about it. So if i must say a compliment to an old woman i will say that "she is charming for her age" but i won't only say "she is charming" because it's a half lie for me. I think you can be polite and honest at the same time even if sometimes it's difficult.

Some people said that politeness and respect is not the same but i don't agree here. Politeness is, by extension, a sort of respect. When you say "Hello" to a
bus driver, you're not only saying "hello". You're showing him that you respect him and respect what he did. And i think it's something very important that people must do.

I won't say that people shall not lie. But it depends on the situation. Few examples:

- If a man that scares me ask me if I have already a BF, I will reply yes, in hope that that man will stop to talk to me. It's a lie, but in this particular case, I think it would be the best choice.

- Now on normal and/or serious topics with normal people, I don't think there is a need to lie just to be polite. I guess the other people personnality. If it's somebody who is, for example, susceptible, or if I fail at guessing said personnality, I will handle him/her with kid gloves. No need to be rough, or to lie. Just be gently.

Being polite doesn't equal lying.

[blewin]

Originally Posted by Kusa-San

When i'm in course at my College, sometimes the teacher says "Stop talking please" but even with that there is always some people who talk and don't listen him. It really get on my nerve. I mean we're in College now, we're not children anymore and we're here to learn not to chat about the last week-end and all.

I so agree with that. Lectures and tutors usually be silent and let the students talk till they stop - which they generally do, after sensing the hint that class's about to start.

but when a lecturer or tutor has to resort to TELLING the students to be quiet, that's why things take on a ridiculous feel. Age does come into the equation. The older one becomes, the less concession people make for ya. College adults... more like college kids.

but are people being less polite these days? It really depends on the culture and personality. Some people can look scary, but once you interact with them, they're quite polite and friendly. Some just don't care how their actions affect others, and unload their day's frustration on the unfortunately polite.