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Old 2003-12-02, 14:00   Link #21
wnkryo
HainShodan
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: new york city
Quote:
Originally Posted by xris
So therefore it's more 'heathly' to frown than smile, since you get more exercise that way. Sounds good to me...

43 muscles exercised already due to this thread...

LOL, thats exsactly what i was thinking (the parth where frowing is a better exsercise). In that case this guy i know who always frowns should be STOCK DEASLE!
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Old 2003-12-03, 00:55   Link #22
Lee-pimp
A.S.S. Vice President
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: i dont know can you help me
Age: 34
Quote:
"What's wrong Adam?"

Adam replies "Well this is great and all, but I see all these animals with compainions and they seem really happy. It makes me feel really lonley sometimes. Can't I have a companion too?"

God thinks about it for a few minutes then says "O.K, I'll let you have a companion to walk with you that will be a perfect compliment to you in every way. But it'll cost you both of your arms and a leg."

Adam thinks to himself; "I don't know, if I don't have arms I won't be able to hold anything or pet the animals. And I'll get really tired of hopping around everywhere on just one leg. It just doesn't seem worth it."

So Adam says to God, "What can I get for a rib?"
nice one finfang does anyone else get it i would think you do although a lot didnt get the brose joke so....
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Old 2003-12-03, 02:48   Link #23
Elysium
できるから。。。
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Rapture
Age: 38
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HEY GUYS I HAVE A FUNNY JOKE FOR YOU ALL HAHAHAHAA

What happens when you screw a kitty?

It DIES!!!

What happens when you screw a puppy?

It DIES!!!

What happens when you screw Tom Green?

He likes it, then dedicates half an hour to displaying how much he likes it by repeating monosyllabic sentences involving "butt," "like," and "ass."
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Old 2003-12-03, 03:40   Link #24
Hyuga Jubei
Drifter
 
Join Date: Nov 2003


Here one that always makes me smile.

Costumer Service Lady : Hello

The guy : Yes hello, I bought a computer from your company yesterday and it came with this cup holder which doesn't work anymore.

Costumer Service Lady : Well Sir our brand of computer aren't sold with cup holders are you sure there was a cup holder?

The guy : Yes I am positive it was working perfectly fine until a few hours ago it just was stuck.

Costumer Service Lady : Sir may I ask what is written on this cup holder.

The guy : Sure no problem, its written 52X24X52


Sadly enough it's a true story XD

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Old 2003-12-03, 03:47   Link #25
Animaniac
On leave?
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Cambridge, MA
NoSanninWa, you might like these then. =)
http://www.cs.berkeley.edu/~ravenben/humor/lightbulbs
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Old 2003-12-04, 05:58   Link #26
Oneesama
本當に愛してるなら, "鰻食べる?”ってきかないで
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
wow... there are so many lightbulb jokes around ~ ^^

now try this one~ hehehe~

how rumors start in the office ~
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Old 2003-12-04, 14:41   Link #27
Flash_Squirrel
F&C Fanboy
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Saiph
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Im sure someone will enjoy this.

[15:16] <hhaamu> 05:11 <+lwl12> ebspy why is all this happening to aniverse?
[15:16] <hhaamu> 05:11 <%ecchi-bo1> lwl12: Windows 2000 Server
[15:16] <hhaamu> 05:11 <@Nightwish> LMAO
[15:16] <hhaamu> 05:11 <@jamuraa> LMAO
[15:16] <hhaamu> 05:11 < JAppi> lmao
[15:16] <hhaamu> 05:11 <@jamuraa> soo.. true..
[15:16] <hhaamu> 05:12 <@Nightwish> Thats a quote for bash if ever I saw one...

Ecchi-Bot always speek the truth.
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Old 2003-12-04, 20:40   Link #28
NoSanninWa
Weapon of Mass Discussion
*Fansubber
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: New York, USA
I just came across this hysterical InuYasha doujinshi!! InuYasha Peace.

Incidently I can never figure out how I should spell his name
  • Inuyasha
  • InuYasha
  • Inu Yasha
  • Inu-Yasha
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There's not that fine a line between willing suspension of disbelief and something just being stupid.
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Old 2003-12-04, 22:17   Link #29
diabolistic
pythagorean≠python gorax
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: look behind you...
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoSanninWa
I just came across this hysterical InuYasha doujinshi!! InuYasha Peace.

Incidently I can never figure out how I should spell his name
  • Inuyasha
  • InuYasha
  • Inu Yasha
  • Inu-Yasha
YTV spells it Inu-Yasha.
However, YTV also renamed Seint Seiya to "Knights Of The Zodiac"


request an emotion from Emotion Eric
one of the bestest and funnestest sites that i've seen
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<Pabs> kcl, you sure do put out a lot of Naruto eps
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Old 2003-12-04, 23:24   Link #30
Xiandu
Destroyer of the God Deus
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Carlsbad CA
Age: 45
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Quote posted by diabolistic
Quote:
request an emotion from Emotion Eric
one of the bestest and funnestest sites that i've seen
Man that website is hilarious. I love it!! Had me laughing my ass off. I loved the thoughtful one the best so far. Only about 1/3 through at the moment.
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Old 2004-01-30, 09:30   Link #31
dragonz20
Cantonese Dimples
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: North Jersey (near NY city)
Age: 46
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i thought this was pretty funny so i wanted to share this with all of you.. hope u like it



There are only eleven times in history where the "F" word has been considered acceptable for use. They are as follows:

11. "What the @#$% do you mean we are sinking?"
- Capt. E.J. Smith of HMS Titanic, 1912

10. "What the @#$% was that?"
- Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945

9. "Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?"
- Custer, 1877

8. "Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that."
- Einstein, 1938

7. "It does so @#$%ing look like her!"
- Picasso, 1926

6. "How the @#$% did you work that out?"
- Pythagoras, 126 BC

5. "You want WHAT on the @#$%ing ceiling?"
- Michelangelo, 1566

4. "Where the @#$% are we?"
- Amelia Earhart, 1937

3. "Scattered @#$%ing showers....My ass!"
- Noah, 4314 BC

2. "Aw c'mon. Who the @#$% is going to find out?"
- Bill Clinton, 1999

and a drum roll....................





1. "Geez, I didn't think they'd get this @%#*^ing mad."
- Sadaam Hussein, 2003
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Old 2004-01-30, 09:42   Link #32
Biohazard
-kanashii~desu-
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Germany
Age: 38
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I guess i'm pathetic, couldn't really laugh the past 4 month.. *sighs*
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Old 2004-01-30, 09:44   Link #33
Amy
Fantasy...
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: The Netherlands
Age: 34
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lol, coowl topic... some funny quotes:

"You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is."

"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak."

"The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage."

"Flying is easy, you just throw yourself as hard as you can at the ground, and miss."

"Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter."

"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.' "

"If I were to walk on water, the press would say I'm only doing it because I can't swim."

"Does not enable user to fly"
- Warning on Batman cape

"I have lost friends, some by death, others through sheer inability to cross the street."

I've still got some more, but I'll post those later ^^
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Old 2004-01-30, 09:48   Link #34
dragonz20
Cantonese Dimples
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: North Jersey (near NY city)
Age: 46
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lol.. good ones Amy... here's a bit more:



THE YEAR'S BEST [ACTUAL] HEADLINES OF 2003:

Crack Found on Governor's Daughter

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

War Dims Hope for Peace

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors


And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
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Old 2004-01-30, 09:52   Link #35
dragonz20
Cantonese Dimples
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: North Jersey (near NY city)
Age: 46
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Subject: "The 10 Best Caddy Replies"


Can you relate to this?

#10
Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the Lake."
Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"

#9
Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."
Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."

#8
Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Yes Sir. you miss the ball much closer now."

#7
Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
Caddy: "Eventually."

#6
Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."
Caddy: "I don't think so sir, that would be too much of a coincidence."

#5
Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time, it's a distraction."
Caddy: "It's not a watch, it's a compass."

#4
Golfer: "How do you like my game so far?"
Caddy: "Very good sir, but peersonally, I prefer golf!"

#3
Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?"
Caddy: "The way you play sir, it's a sin on any day."

#2
Golfer: "This is the worst course I have ever played on."
Caddy: "This is'nt the golf course, we left that an hour ago!"

#1
Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old."
Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."
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Old 2004-01-30, 10:20   Link #36
Cammie
Smooth and Curvy...
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
I get lots of cute e-mails from other teachers about what kids say! I thought I'd share a smile!

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
- Lynnette, age 8

On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
- Martin, age 10

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
- Alan, age 10
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Old 2004-01-30, 16:10   Link #37
Amy
Fantasy...
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: The Netherlands
Age: 34
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lol, that's funny ^^

more funny quotes:

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most"

"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally."

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal."

"The nice thing about egoists is that they don't talk about other people."

"Rembrandt painted 700 pictures. Of these, 3,000 are still in existence."

"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field."

"Shut the door, Wales."
- George Bryan "Bean" Brumwell - Said to the Prince of Wales


and one for the dutch people here (I couldn't translate it properly so...)

"Fietsen is gezond, eet meer fiets"
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Old 2004-01-30, 16:36   Link #38
Wandering_Youth
lost in wonder forever...
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: edge of my dream in the land of twilight...ZzzZzZ
Call me sadistic, but I laughed pretty darn hard when my dad was suffering from constipation. I could hear him groaning and making funny noises in the toilet from my room and I just could not help myself laughing at him. I know it was not right to laugh since he was in pain, but I couldn't help it.
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Old 2004-01-30, 20:00   Link #39
bassmanG
Junior Member
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Wisconsin!
I like those names for children's books that would never be published. Some of my favorites are:
You Were An Accident
Strangers Have The Best Candy
Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
You Are Different and That's Bad
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Old 2004-01-30, 21:53   Link #40
Nimitz
....
 
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: England
Age: 56
A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together.

They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly teddy bears. Hundreds of cute small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, cuddly medium-sized ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge enormous bears on the top shelf along the wall.

The woman is surprised that this guy would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but she decides not to mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side.

She turns to him... they kiss... and then they rip each others clothes off and make hot steamy love.

After an intense night of passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow, the woman rolls over and asks, smiling, "Well, how was it?"

The guy says "Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf."
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