It's not too big to handle though; some of them only appear for 1 episode, some half an epi. Most of the time its because of a plot element, and the rest is because they happen to be there to due connections with the main cast.
Well I'll try... so far I've just gone under 100. It's still not fitting because, well, SECRET AMBITION is already crammed with characters and the beat isn't exactly friendly for a full showcase, unlike Towards the Terra or Baccano!'s OPs.
Of course my obsession to feature everyone is to fix StrikerS habit of shafting...
Don't forget it's okay to put characters together in the OP. Related characters should show up together to save space.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheba
Trim down your character count and keep those who really matter in the story.
Spoiler for All characters who had an importance in the story in one OP:
That'd be one of my favorite OP's right there
Page claim it's been a while.
Page claim for awesome opening sequences that don't spoil and don't cram too much in.
Location: The bushes are comfy, thanks for asking.
Indeed, Comartemis. I hate to say it and sound a bit... how should I say; "Assholic", but I think SlayerS is the first piece of fiction to interest me in quite some time. Be it said that it's the focus on Arisa and Suzuka, as opposed to our usual repertoire. Still, I should stop before I ramble.
Keep it up, Comar. For you've one dedicated reader on your hands.
On this sunny Mid-Childa afternoon, a lone object made its way through the clear, blue sky. The lack of clouds gave the occupants of the helicopter an impeded view of the area around them, though there was not much to be seen beyond the confines of the city. Gone were the skyscrapers and residential houses. Instead lush fields of grass that faded into a desolate desert passed beneath them. Small talk passed through the metal interior as the occupants waited patiently to arrive at their destination. It would soon be interrupted as a communications window materialized in the center of the hold.
"Good afternoon everyone," greeting their commanding officer, Hayate Yagami. A mixed reply of 'afternoon' and 'good afternoon' came from the members. "Let's begin the mission briefing since we had to do a rushed deployment given the situation. Nanoha-chan?"
The Ace of Aces nodded and turned to address her fellow mages, "At 1100 hours we detected a large, unknown energy reading outside of the city. It held similarities to a dimensional rift but only vaguely." Another screen appeared, this one displaying an aerial view of their destination in the desert. "The site is some ancient ruins several kilometers from the city limits. It was excavated last year but funding ran out and the site was abandoned. As a result we don't know much about it except for a few pictures and aerial footage."
"The majority of the ruins appear to be the foundation of ancient buildings," continued Hayate. "However there was mention of a large construct of sorts in the middle of the site though we don't have much else besides that. Therefore we shall have Lightning maintain an aerial presence and watch out for any approaching hostiles while Stars will be on the ground to investigate the energy reading we detected. I wish you all luck."
A prompt reply of 'roger' was sounded by all members before the feed terminated. Silence took over in the helicopter but was short lived.
"Ne, do you think it might be a Lost Logia that caused it?" questioned Subaru.
Her partner, Teana, shrugged. "Could be. It might have been buried with the ruins or maybe some smugglers were using the area as a hideout."
"I hope it's nothing too serious. I want to get back to base 'cause it's almost lunch time!"
While she was used to Subaru's less-intelligent remarks, the sharpshooter couldn't help but sigh and shake her head as the other members giggled at the remark. Minutes passed until Vice's voice came from the front.
"Ruin's are within sight! We'll be over the target area in 30 seconds."
Already in their Barrier Jackets, the mages stood and approached the rear of the helicopter. The ramp opened, sending a gush of air inside along with lose sand and dust. Lightning was first out. Fate went fist followed closely by Caro and Erio who mounted on the back of a full-sized Friedrich to patrol the perimeter and keep and eye out for approaching threats. Meanwhile Stars stood by at the start of the ramp as they flew over the ruins themselves. As per their briefing they could see the deteriorated stubs that once were walls of ancient buildings. Then they passed over the large structure in the center of the ruins. It looked fairly thin from their height and was shaped like a ring standing on its side.
"Nanoha, I think I see some people down there! By the ring thing!" announced Subaru.
Their captain peered over the edge of the ramp towards where her subordinate indicated. Even from their current height she could make out four figures in tan colored clothes. Probably some kind of military camouflage gear.
"Teana, take position to the east behind one of the ruins. Subaru, take position to the west. I'll head in from the north. Remember, we don't know their intentions so don't let your guard down."
With a kick of her legs she went into free-fall towards the unknown group below them while Teana and Subaru split behind her to their positions.
Accel Fin.
Familiar pink wings emerged from her feet to control her decent. As she approached the ground, she could see they were looking up at her, having noticed her approach. More than likely they had seen the helicopter first. Getting closer she could confirm the four humanoids as well as some kind of wheeled vehicle next to them; a robot of sorts. Three of them had what looked like projectile weapons in their hands with the fourth holding a staff.
"Raising Heart, anything on their weapons?"
Identifying: 3 Earth-made P90 submachine guns
That confirmed part of her fears that they were going to be dealing with people armed with illegal weapons. Though what struck her as weird was that they were Earth-made. Another look at the group made her notice that the outfits they wore were very similar to the uniforms soldiers wore when they went into desert environments on Earth.
Identifying: Unknown staff-based weapon. Appears to be non-magic based. Type of power source unknown
While she had hoped that the staff was just for melee combat, it seemed that there was more to it than met the eye. What bothered her was that it had no magical properties but had a power source. And an unknown one at that. She would have to keep her guard up.
Touching down several meters in front of the humanoids, Nanoha took another look at the group and they were probably doing the same about her. Their weapons where lowered, but had their hands on the grips.
"Um, hello there."
"Hello to you, too," responded the one wearing glasses.
Well they were communicating and could understand each other which was a good sign. It was a start. "I'm Captain Nanoha Takamachi of the TSAB. Identify yourselves."
Three of them turned towards their fourth member. Apparently this one was the one in charge of the group. "I'm Colonel Jack O'Neill of the US Air Force of Earth."
Because i was sneaking net time a day ago, i forgot to say i also read allquall's christmas cruff along with the few i mentioned in my last post. read while browsing backlog:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Allquall
Merry Christmas, FFT.
Spoiler for Christmas Cruff:
Fate pulled into the driveway and stared at the darkened house through the clumps of falling snow.
“Beautiful,” she said as the snow silently piled onto her lawn, but in the back of her mind she worried that she might have trouble leaving in the morning if too much fell tonight. She stared longingly at the old house, since it was their last night there. She and Nanoha had finally received the much-needed transfer to a base closer to unadministered planet ninety-three, and now they could be forever rid of the house where the roof had at least one leak and every weekend had at least one house project to work on. It was such a money-pit; yet, it looked beautiful in the snow.
She opened the driver side door and picked up the cardboard carrier that contained two steaming travel cups from the passenger seat. Fate shivered and hissed when the cold wind blasted her as she stepped away from the vehicle.
“So…cold…” she said through her clenched teeth. The wind blew even harder as if challenged by the comment, and Fate stiffly jogged to the front door with her thick scarf obscuring most of her vision while trying not to spill the two cups. She bounced while trying to fish her keys from her pocket and the wind blew her hair from the back.
She had to lean against the front door to shut it against the howling winter wind and she set the cup carrier on a taped-up box as she removed her hat and scarf while brushing the snow from her long, frozen blond hair. She shuddered as she started to peel away her heavy winter coat.
“Nanoha, why is it the same temperature inside as it is outside?”
“The heater broke again!” replied Nanoha’s muffled voice from somewhere within the house.
“Hon, where are you?”
“In here!”
“A bit more specific?” asked Fate as she navigated her way past the piles of taped boxes.
The movers wouldn’t be there till the 28th, but Nanoha and Fate planned on taking Vivio to spend Christmas with Grandma Lindy. Thus, the house was packed into moving boxes and reeked of cardboard and duct tape. Fate smiled at the tiny star standing on top of the three-foot Christmas tree…standing on a taped box. Vivio wanted a Christmas tree so badly this year (because where would Santa know where to put the presents if there wasn't a tree with lights to guide him?), and Nanoha didn’t have the heart to tell the girl that it would be a hassle to have a tree shedding its prickly leaves as they tried to clean the house. That’s how they ended up with what Chrono dubbed “The Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.” It could only hold a few ornaments before leaning to a side, the string of lights threatened to burn down the house, but it made Vivio smile in wonder at such a simple thing. Thus, it made Nanoha and Fate happy.
Fate nearly tripped on another box in the dark as she tried to find Nanoha in the cold house.
“Marco,” she finally said.
“Polo,” came the reply from the dim bedroom.
Fate stepped into her bedroom and saw Nanoha huddled in the old sleeping bag. The bed had already been packed away. Her body was completely zipped in the old arctic sleeping bag with the exception of her face. Fate flipped on the overhead light and laughed at Nanoha’s nose, which was crimson with cold.
“~Nanoha the red-nosed caterpillar~” Fate sang teasingly.
“Hurry up and get in here!” demanded the frozen brunette, “I’m so cold!”
“Where’s the portable heater?”
“It’s in Vivio’s room,” said Nanoha with a sniffle.
“Why aren’t you there then?” asked Fate with an involuntary shudder, “Let’s sleep in Vivio’s room tonight.”
“She won’t let us,” replied Nanoha with a scowl, “She said that Santa wouldn’t think she’s a big girl if she has to sleep with mamas.”
Fate laughed, “Serves you right for manipulating Santa’s rules!”
“Hey! Even you have to admit that it’s kept her from walking in on us since the ‘big girls sleep in their own bed’ speech.”
“True, but including Santa in that speech was still a bit low.”
“Whatever,” huffed Nanoha, “It doesn’t matter now, so hurry up and get in here. I want your warm!”
“You’re such a heat zombie,” sighed Fate.
“Waaaaaaaaaaarm,” groaned Nanoha, “I want your waaaaaaaaaarm.”
“Are you sure you don’t want any hot chocolate before you steal my ‘waaaaaaarm’?” laughed Fate while holding up the steaming cups in the carrier.
“Where did you find an open coffee shop on Christmas Eve?” marveled Nanoha as she sat up still wearing the sleeping bag.
“Caught the one on the base before it closed,” smirked Fate proudly as she held out one of the hot cups in front of Nanoha’s red nose.
Two trembling hands slid out from the sides of Nanoha’s face as she grasped the hot mug and held it tight while gently touching it with her nose, “Waaaaaaarm!”
“At this rate, you’ll be drinking cold chocolate.”
“Hmmph!”
“Soooo,” asked Fate nervously, “has Santa visited yet?”
“Aw, crap!” Nanoha growled, “I’ve got to put the presents under the Charlie Brown Tree…”
Nanoha took another long sip from her cup before trying to stand up with the sleeping bag still wrapped around her.
Fate chuckled at Nanoha’s determination to keep her body heat, “You look like a giant potato!”
Nanoha glared at the laughing blond while she shuffled over to her and head butted her playfully.
Fate rubbed her forehead with a grin, “Fine, I’ll do it. Where did you hide them this year?”
Nanoha grinned and kissed Fate’s cold nose before she laid back down on the carpeted floor with her warm cup in hand, “They’re in the closet…the box next to the door.”
Fate stepped into their walk-in closet and saw an open box by the door, “The one that says ‘Christmas Crap?’ And I thought that was the old decorations box! Clever girl!” The blond pulled back the lid of the box to expose the multiple presents decorated in festive paper and bows, “Wow, Vivio cleaned up this year.”
“As did her mama…”
Fate smiled at the various boxes with her name on them. She then went to the cabinet under the bathroom sink and gathered a few presents with Nanoha’s name on them.
“Score!” the girl cocooned in the sleeping bag cheered causing the blond to snicker.
“All right! Now to be Santa-mama,” Fate teased with a determined look.
A tiny sneeze from the living room made both of them jump.
“Vivio!” gasped Nanoha recognizing the sneeze.
The brunette burst from the sleeping bag and ran into the living room closely followed by her blond partner. They tripped and stumbled on the many piles of boxes till they stood before the Charlie Brown tree and saw Vivio curled up underneath it. She had her jacket pulled over her pajamas and shivered in her sleep. Nanoha carefully picked up the trembling girl and held her close.
“Mama?” Vivio yawned while waking up.
“Did you sleepwalk, Vi?” Nanoha asked trying to warm Vivio up. Her feet were like icicles.
“N-n-n-no, “shivered Vivio in near tears, “I have to stay by the tree or else Santa won’t know where it is! He might even miss the cookies I made him!”
Nanoha and Fate looked at the fort of cardboard moving boxes surrounding the tree and groaned knowingly at each other. For the next fifteen minutes, the two of them braved the freezing living room and made a wide pathway from the front entrance-way to the pathetic tree on a box with the cookies and milk on a smaller box next to it.
“Do you think Santa will miss it now?” asked Fate panting from the late night labor.
“No,” smiled Vivio in satisfaction, “I’m going to bed, mamas, and you should too or else Santa can’t come.”
“Sir! Yes, Sir!” Nanoha saluted. Vivio giggled and skipped back into her warm bedroom.
“To be that age again,” Fate thought aloud.
“To be that warm again,” shivered Nanoha.
“Hey!” yelled Fate to the woman now pressed on her, “ At least let me stand up!”
“I want your waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarm!!!!”
so cute X3!! waaarmmmmmmm!!
it is definitely warm here now compared to the US DX. yes i'm back in the philippines now ^^! plane landed hmm 5 hours ago. i have concluded that a) wanwan and cold temp really don't go well together judging from my bleeding knuckles. b) i don't like airplanes =D! ;-;!!!!!
Quote:
NSFW: Wanwan's Omake
Spoiler for NSFW!:
Fate shivered again as she stepped out of the bathroom after brushing her teeth. She hugged her chest and rubbed her arms till she could climb into the sleeping bag with Nanoha. She tried her best not to let her ice cold feet touch the sleeping woman, but as she snuggled next to her, she realized instantly that something was amiss. Instead of the pair of old boxers and loose T-shirt that Nanoha had on earlier, Fate could only feel bare skin, and something crinkled when she slid her arm around the brunette’s waist.
“Is that a bow?” whispered Fate.
“I thought you’d like to open one of your presents early,” whispered Nanoha seductively.
Fate's embrace tightened around her lover, and their lips met in a passionate kiss.
“What do you know?” panted Fate as they parted for air, “It fits me just right.”
The kiss deepened, and Fate moved to position herself above Nanoha, “I wonder if I got this because I was nice side of Santa's list…or the naughty side?”
“I don’t know,” moaned Nanoha as pushed Fate’s head under the sleeping bag, “You better check it twice!”
and as for the omake:
o///////////o
so....i have net o.o! time to visit ffc methinks. i should, shouldn't i? if only for a little while (have to rest /jetlag and be a good girl /less net)?
Yo folks. Sulli here, and I'm thinkin gof starting my first MSLN fanfic and have it be a fusion/crossover with a show that's been part of my life since I was little; and that's Star Trek. But before I get to work on it, I'd like to hear your opinions on it.
Location: In the Netherrealm, thinking who to betray next...
Quote:
Originally Posted by SulliMike23
Yo folks. Sulli here, and I'm thinkin gof starting my first MSLN fanfic and have it be a fusion/crossover with a show that's been part of my life since I was little; and that's Star Trek. But before I get to work on it, I'd like to hear your opinions on it.
Nanoha and Star Treck?
That sounds interesting and crazy... and I'd like crazy things
Location: In the Netherrealm, thinking who to betray next...
General Info
Well, this weekend is the day, the first chapter of Vatican Knights is up to be posted, I'm gonna leave the general information of how I'm gonna execute this fic
Fisrt of all, the story is gonna take place 10 years before the events of Vatican Knights 1 and it's gonna be again Vivio's point of view
Like in Vita Shadows of the past, some chapters will bring "Events", little scenes of the story showed in a short comic, these scenes may not be Vivio's Point of view
As an adition, along with the chapters there are gonna be something called Scrolls of Darkness The Scrolls of Darkness are gonna be renders and information about the monsters that are gonna appear on the fic, the draws are gonna be full color and they will bring bios of the creatures
Also, looking to show renders of the main characters like Vivio, Karil, Black Wolfness, etc...
As I said before, Vampire Fate it's gonna play an important roll in the story but it's important to point that this is NOT the same Vampire Fate that appears on Satashi's fic, this one has a diferent story altough the personality is kinda the same
And something BIG, in the last Vatican Knights, Nanoha was the villan, in this one, another character of the MSLN series it's gonna take the roll of antagonist, try to guess who? >:3
With luck, first chapter Return of the Shadows will be posted this weekend (maybe Monday, depends on your time zone :P)
Arisa Bannings was not normally a morning person. Given the choice between sleeping in for an extra hour and leaping out of bed as soon as consciousness reclaimed her, she was much happier taking option 'A', and rolling over and going back to sleep. That wasn't to say that she couldn't get up or that she'd be dead on her feet for several hours upon doing so; she simply took great pleasure in that wonderful little space between wakefulness and slumber, where the covers were tucked around her and the bed was deliciously warm and cozy and the mind was not active enough to worry about anything except getting a few more hours of beauty sleep.
Today, however, seemed to be an exception to the rule, for as soon as consciousness reclaimed Arisa she knew instinctively that something was very very wrong, something that demanded her immediate attention.
Eyes still encrusted with that awful goop she always had to wipe out of her eyes after a full nights' sleep, Arisa rolled over in bed and let her eyes crack open enough to get a blurry look at the ceiling.... which, she noticed with a start, was entirely unfamiliar to her. Common sense demanded that waking up in a bed meant waking up in a bedroom, but the violet floral pattern spread across the ceiling like a wallpaper wasn't like the ceiling of any room she could ever remember waking up to. It certainly wasn't the ceiling of her room, which was decorated by a similar wallpaper-like pattern of dogs of various breeds, nor was it Suzuka's, which (as she knew from experience after numerous sleepovers in said room) was colored a pale shade of robin's egg blue. It wasn't the ceiling of Nanoha's room either, which was a pale pinkish red like most of the rest of her room.
Therefore, unfamiliar ceiling = bed in unfamiliar place = Arisa in unfamiliar place = Bannings survival instincts going to DEFCON 4.
Now fully awake, Arisa hauled herself out of the covers, only to fail miserably at this task as she belatedly realized she'd been sleeping on top of the covers, and for that matter apparently hadn't changed out of her school uniform before hitting the hay the previous evening. Setting that abnormality aside for the moment, Arisa put first priority in identifying her location and performed a quick visual sweep of the room, only to be dismayed as the additional information proved as unhelpful in that regard as the flowers on the ceiling.
Arisa had never had cause to stay in a hotel before, as her parents never took her on business trips with them, but she supposed that the small room around her must belong to something like a hotel; such a small dwelling could never house anyone permanently or they'd quickly go stir crazy in such small quarters. The room was decorated in western style, with two twin beds separated by a nightstand upon which rested an alarm clock (digital, currently indicating the time as being 7:06 AM) and a rather expensive-looking lamp. The bed opposite her was occupied by the only familiar-looking thing in the room, that thing being Tsukimura Suzuka, who was still very soundly asleep and was also dressed in her school uniform.
The two beds were essentially the only large objects in the room apart from a large but not entirely comfortable-looking easy chair, a small desk and office chair combo in the corner of the room, and a table gracing the wall opposite the two beds on which rested a mid-sized television. Past the beds on Arisa’s right side In the far corner of the room next to the bathroom door was what appeared to be a backpack of some sort, and it appeared to be loaded to the bursting point with… well, whatever was inside it. The only thing immediately to her left was a sliding glass door leading out onto a balcony, beyond which she could see the southern end of Tokyo Bay. If she squinted she could probably make out some of the taller buildings in Yokohama on the far side of the bay, but at the moment Yokohama wasn’t placing anywhere on her list of concerns.
Now significantly more worried by her circumstances (and the Bannings survival instincts moving to DEFCON 3), Arisa’s thought processes moved from identifying her surroundings to identifying her situation, beginning with retracing her steps from the previous afternoon.
Yesterday had been the last day of school before summer break began for the students of Uminari City, and she and Suzuka had celebrated the good weather by skipping the bus and walking home together. Ordinarily Nanoha would have joined them but her family had made plans for her and her siblings to visit an aunt of theirs who lived in Hong Kong and she’d had to leave school a few minutes early in order to catch the plane, leaving Arisa and Suzuka to walk home by themselves.
At this point, Arisa’s heart began to beat a bit faster as she recalled the sensation of being watched. Approximately six blocks south of school the girls had passed into Uminari’s commercial district and slowed their pace to do a bit of window shopping. She had been watching a commercial for a new anime series—something about dolls and roses if she recalled correctly—in the window of a Mitsukoshi department store when the reflection of a man dressed in black had suddenly appeared directly behind her. Startled, she’d turned to face him… there’d been a sharp pain on the left side of her head… and then…
…and then she’d woken up here. Which brought her back to her original question, where was here? And why was she here, and why was Suzuka here with her and why couldn’t she remember what happened and what was the source of the horrible feeling of wrongness that was starting to make her heart beat like a snare drum and…!
Deep breath. In… and out. “Cool it, Bannings. At least figure out where you are first, then panic.” She whispered to herself, slipping off the bed and taking a few steps over to the glass door, then sliding it open and stepping outside. As she’d expected, the hotel they were in was a high-rise affair, and looking around at the buildings below her, Arisa could make out several buildings she recognized as landmarks in Uminari’s commercial district. Now she was getting somewhere… bingo! That was the train station across the street from Midoriya! She was only a stone’s throw away from home!
Arisa stepped back inside, not bothering to shut the door behind her, and moved towards the second bed where Suzuka was still sleeping quite soundly. Not in the mood to do the job gently, Arisa grabbed Suzuka by the shoulder and shook her rather roughly, impatient and eager to be gone from these strange circumstances.
“Suzuka-chan… come on, wake up!”
“Mmm….”
Now Suzuka, it could safely be said, was very much a morning person, always quick to awaken and eager to start the day. Arisa had sworn on the mornings following several sleepovers in the past that Suzuka must already be drinking coffee to be so chipper in the mornings, but in truth that was simply the way she was. So when she was roused by Arisa’s attention, she rolled over and sat up in bed almost immediately, blinking the sleep out of her eyes and staring at her friend for a moment before gasping aloud.
“Arisa-chan! You’re alright! You are alright aren’t you? How does your head feel?”
“Wha… my head? Nothing’s wrong with… ow!” As she spoke, Arisa had been putting a hand to the side of her head to feel for anything out of the ordinary and had quickly found a sore spot roughly where she’d recalled the sensation of pain coming from several minutes before, and quickly withdrew her hand.
Arisa was a bright girl, and it didn’t take long at all for her to put two and two together. “Suzuka, how much of yesterday do you remember?”
“Um… the last thing I can recall is going out window shopping. You were watching that commercial for Rozen Maiden at Mitsukoshi when a man in black appeared behind us and hit you in the side of the head. I… I was about to scream for help, but… I guess he hit me too.”
As she spoke, Suzuka tentatively reached up and brushed a hand against her left temple before quickly withdrawing it, obviously having stumbled on a welt or a bruise like Arisa had. Arisa nodded at Suzuka’s words, now more worried than ever but at least a little less confused. If she’d been struck on the head then she would have been knocked unconscious. That would explain why she didn’t remember going to sleep, at the very least, but it also meant they were very likely in an extremely dangerous situation.
Arisa was not pleased to say that she had experience with kidnappers. Less than a year after she had met Nanoha, her parents had made enemies with someone with underworld connections after some sort of business deal had gone south. Arisa still wasn’t clear on all the details, but she’d been targeted, abducted, and held for ransom by a gang of Yakuza, and might not have come out of the ordeal with all her parts intact had it not been for the timely intervention of Takamachi Shiro, hired by the Bannings family to rescue Arisa at any cost.
Now it appeared to be happening again, this time with poor Suzuka being dragged along for the ride. While it wasn’t a certain thing yet, Arisa could think of few other explanations for their current situation.
Although… looking over at the door next to the bathroom, Arisa couldn’t help but wonder. A hotel was an awfully strange and public place for a kidnapper to hide out with his targets instead of, say, a dilapidated warehouse on the edge of town like her previous abductors had used. And for that matter, if the man in black was a kidnapper, how in the world had he attacked and then abducted two girls in the middle of a busy shopping district, and in broad daylight for that matter, without anyone taking notice and raising a scene? There were still too many unanswered questions for her to jump to a hasty conclusion like this. Still, they were questions she didn’t necessarily need answers to right now. Suzuka was awake, she knew where they were, and now they could make like trees and motor on home, where their parents almost certainly give them an epic chewing out for being out all night…
“Worry about injuries later, Suzuka-chan. Right now we need to get home. We’ve been gone almost a whole day, your parents must be worried sick.”
“My parents? What about yours?”
“They’re out of town on a business trip; they shouldn’t be home until later this week.”
So saying, Arisa gave the room one more inspection as Suzuka got up and brushed her uniform off.
“…Figures whoever brought us here didn’t grab our bookbags too.” Arisa snarled. She wasn’t looking forward to the prospect of replacing her bookbag and its’ contents—that would be coming out of her allowance, in all likelihood—but that was a concern for another time as she started for the door, Suzuka following right behind her.
But they’d only made it as far as the front door when a quiet clicking noise sounded from the other side. Almost instinctively, Arisa ducked into the dark bathroom right next to the door, pulling Suzuka along behind her as the two ducked into the shadows of the bath/shower combo and out of sight of the main door, just as the door opened and someone stepped into the room. Arisa’s breath caught in her throat as she caught a flash of black cloth moving past the open bathroom door.
For one long deadly moment, Arisa considered her options. The person to whom the room belonged had about two seconds before they came into sight of the rest of the room and saw they weren’t there. If the person had good intentions, then that was alright, they could slip out the door before it closed behind him and never see him again. If not, he’d start searching for them immediately and would likely chase them down in the hallway as they tried to leave. Escape could end in one of two ways.
…but if she took the initiative….
On the bathroom counter across from her was a hair drier, apparently left behind by the room’s last occupant or perhaps the property of this one; Arisa didn’t know and she didn’t care, all she knew was that that hair drier was the most suitable weapon in this room and she had less than two seconds to make use of it. So thinking, Arisa snagged the drier off the counter and leapt back out into the hallway, immediately lunging at the back of the room’s third occupant, swinging the drier over her head like a mace, ready to bring it down on the head of the unsuspecting… girl?
It took Arisa all of an instant to realize her target wasn’t the man in black, but a young girl—not too much older than her, by her estimations—with silver hair in a very long braid dressed in a simple black dress. It was an instant too late; her swing was already in motion, coming down right on—
And then suddenly she was on the floor with the all the air leaving her lungs without her permission. Later she would look back at the incident and realize that the girl had caught her swing by the wrist with a cross-hand block over the head, then grabbed said wrist, kneeled, and launched her over her left shoulder in a textbook perfect jujutsu throw, but for the time being she was more concerned about getting her wind back, a feat made much more difficult as the girl in red placed a foot on her chest and…
…wait a second, back up and take a second look at this.
She was flat on her back in the middle of the room, the girl in black standing over her with a foot on her chest. She was wearing plain black boots and thigh high stockings of an identical shade. Her skirt was long like a cloak in the back, stretching down almost to her ankles, but the front was almost as short as a miniskirt and from her current vantage point Arisa could almost see the girl’s undergarments. Her dress was simple, black and sleeveless with a cross-shaped cutout where her breasts would be in a few years time. Her arms were covered from the elbows down by a pair of detached sleeves (also black), and her hands were partially covered by a set of fingerless (and black) gloves. Back in the corner, Suzuka had come charging out of the bathroom after her, but now stood back by the door, apparently not sure what to make of the spectacle before her.
Arisa couldn’t really blame her. While she could deal with the idea of a strange girl standing on her after chucking her across the room, having said girl’s braid pressed up against her throat like a fifth limb with a spear tip on the end wasn’t something she was prepared to deal with.
Thankfully the girl in question only looked mildly annoyed at having been attacked and didn’t seem likely to follow through on her counterattack. Instead, she withdrew the braid from Arisa’s throat after a moment, sighed, and relaxed slightly.
“Just a friendly word of advice, kid… don’t do that again. Next time I might do more than toss you around a little.”
In spite of herself, Arisa found herself getting angry. She’d been told numerous times that she was very mature for her age, if not entirely level-headed. She’d never been treated like a child before, least of all by a child her own age!
“And who are you calling a kid!? You don’t look much older than me shorty—at this the other girl’s eyebrow twitched slightly—so where do you get off thinking you can talk to me like that?!”
“The fact that I can toss you around the room like a rubber ball, just for starters. And speaking of which, do you generally make a habit of insulting and attacking people who save your life? ‘Cause I gotta say, at the rate you’re going I might decide to just not bother next time.”
Arisa was on the verge of tossing out a venomous retort when the girl’s words pierced the veil of anger around her mind. It was Suzuka who voiced her next question.
“Um… excuse me, but what exactly did you save us from, miss…?”
The girl turned ‘round to face Suzuka, slight confusion in her expression before she sighed and began speaking to herself.
“Figures. Of course there’d be complications with the procedure, it wouldn’t be outlawed if it wasn’t dangerous.”
Now it was Suzuka who was confused, and Arisa wasn’t much better off. The girl sighed again, then turned and walked past Arisa into the room, gesturing for the girls to take a seat.
“Alright, quick question before we begin; do either of you two remember anything from the past twelve hours?”
Arisa looked over at Suzuka as she followed the girl back into the main section of the hotel room. When Suzuka shook her head, she replied, “The last thing I remember is being attacked by a man in a big black coat after school. Now what’s this about saving our lives? What the heck happened and why can’t I remember it?!”
“Calm down kid—“
“Don’t call me kid! My name is Arisa Bannings!”
“Fine Arisa, now just—“
“And I never gave you permission to drop the suffix! What are you, a gaijin?!”
“Arrrrrrgh! Will you sit down and be quiet for a minute?! I’m trying to be helpful here and you’re giving me grief for it!” The girl shouted, her fragile temper snapping in the face of Arisa’s bullheadedness. Suzuka merely watched the confrontation in dismay; if this had been an anime, this would be the part where these two would start shooting lightning bolts out of their eyes at each other. Thankfully, Arisa backed down before the two came to blows, and the silver-haired girl settled into the easy chair at the far end of the room, sitting lengthwise across the seat and the two arms.
“Alright. Since you two don’t have any reason to believe what I’m about to say, a demonstration is in order before you accuse me of making up wild stories.”
The girl glanced at the television, which promptly rose into the air by itself and stayed there for a few moments.
Arisa, for her part, was only mildly dumbfounded for a moment. She’d seen this girl turn her hair into a spear-like weapon only a moment before, so this didn’t seem all that much more unusual to her. Suzuka was likewise somewhat nonplussed but not as shellshocked as most people would be. The silver-haired girl raised an eyebrow at the girls’ lack of shocked reactions.
“Levitation. One of the many tools at the hands of a skilled magic-user. You two don’t seem too surprised by this power. Do you two have some previous experience with magic?”
Suzuka shook her head. “Not directly, but a few months ago a giant tree grew up in the center of the shopping district then vanished without a trace less than an hour later. The whole town was talking about it for several weeks, but I think we’re the only ones who seriously thought it couldn’t be anything other than magic. This just confirms that theory.”
The girl seemed to think on this for a moment. “That doesn’t sound like any kind of magic I’ve ever heard of… but then again there’s probably a lot of magic out there I’ve never heard of.” She shrugged. “It’s a big multiverse; you can’t learn everything in it in one lifetime.”
Arisa was about to ask what exactly she meant by that when the girl’s demeanor turned serious again.
“Right. So you know about magic and you know I’m a mage. Now I have to ask you two to take everything I say as truth, no matter how unbelievable it may sound.”
The girls looked at each other for a moment, then nodded hesitantly. The silver-haired girl took that as her cue to continue.
“Right. So first of all, there’s an organ in the human body that some people are born with called a linker core. This organ exists as part of a person’s spirit and bridges the gap between the physical body and the astral body. It’s this organ which allows people to use magic; if you don’t have a linker core you can’t perform most types of magic, though there’s a few systems of magic that don’t rely on the core to do spellcasting.
There’s no telling who a core can manifest in or what exactly causes the core to manifest in some people but not others, but many mages have spent their entire lifetimes studying the linker core and trying to decipher its’ secrets. Some of these people go a step further and try to create artificial linker cores. This practice is banned by the TSAB and getting caught making artificial linker cores can get you sent to prison for the rest of your life, but some people do it anyways.”
Arisa’s head was already swimming with questions and she only understood about two of every three words the girl was saying, but she held her tongue, waiting for the girl to finish. Somehow she knew she wasn’t going to like where this was leading, but morbid curiosity convinced her to stay silent for now.
“The problem with the practice that got it outlawed is that at the current level of techno-magical development, only about one in every three hundred people survives the process of having an artificial linker core implanted in their bodies. To have even a few successes you have to have a huge body count to go with it, and most people won’t risk their lives even to gain magical powers.”
The girl opened her eyes and stared straight at Arisa with a calculating gaze. Arisa found herself fidgeting under the girl’s stare, but before she could complain the girl continued speaking.
“So in order to advance the science of artificial core creation, people need to be acquired for experimentation against their will. Last night you two ran afoul of one of the familiars of Dr. Raz Zandil and were abducted for that purpose. I’ve been chasing Zandil for personal reasons for some time now, and by chance I happened to find his lab on the south side of town around midnight last night. I broke you two out of your holding cells and brought you back here rather than settle my business with Zandil. Hope you’re happy about that.”
Arisa swallowed nervously. “So… you saved us from having these core things put in us?”
“No. When I arrived Zandil had already finished his experiments. You two are among the lucky few to survive the procedure.”
At this, the girl smiled broadly.
“You’re now the proud owners of a pair of fully functioning artificial linker cores. Congratulations, ladies. You’re mages now.”
My dream come true! They are finally mages! Well you've got another very interested reader, it looks like things are going to get quite weird.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evangelion Xgouki
Well here's something a bit weird...
Spoiler for Visitors, pt. 1:
On this sunny Mid-Childa afternoon, a lone object made its way through the clear, blue sky. The lack of clouds gave the occupants of the helicopter an impeded view of the area around them, though there was not much to be seen beyond the confines of the city. Gone were the skyscrapers and residential houses. Instead lush fields of grass that faded into a desolate desert passed beneath them. Small talk passed through the metal interior as the occupants waited patiently to arrive at their destination. It would soon be interrupted as a communications window materialized in the center of the hold.
"Good afternoon everyone," greeting their commanding officer, Hayate Yagami. A mixed reply of 'afternoon' and 'good afternoon' came from the members. "Let's begin the mission briefing since we had to do a rushed deployment given the situation. Nanoha-chan?"
The Ace of Aces nodded and turned to address her fellow mages, "At 1100 hours we detected a large, unknown energy reading outside of the city. It held similarities to a dimensional rift but only vaguely." Another screen appeared, this one displaying an aerial view of their destination in the desert. "The site is some ancient ruins several kilometers from the city limits. It was excavated last year but funding ran out and the site was abandoned. As a result we don't know much about it except for a few pictures and aerial footage."
"The majority of the ruins appear to be the foundation of ancient buildings," continued Hayate. "However there was mention of a large construct of sorts in the middle of the site though we don't have much else besides that. Therefore we shall have Lightning maintain an aerial presence and watch out for any approaching hostiles while Stars will be on the ground to investigate the energy reading we detected. I wish you all luck."
A prompt reply of 'roger' was sounded by all members before the feed terminated. Silence took over in the helicopter but was short lived.
"Ne, do you think it might be a Lost Logia that caused it?" questioned Subaru.
Her partner, Teana, shrugged. "Could be. It might have been buried with the ruins or maybe some smugglers were using the area as a hideout."
"I hope it's nothing too serious. I want to get back to base 'cause it's almost lunch time!"
While she was used to Subaru's less-intelligent remarks, the sharpshooter couldn't help but sigh and shake her head as the other members giggled at the remark. Minutes passed until Vice's voice came from the front.
"Ruin's are within sight! We'll be over the target area in 30 seconds."
Already in their Barrier Jackets, the mages stood and approached the rear of the helicopter. The ramp opened, sending a gush of air inside along with lose sand and dust. Lightning was first out. Fate went fist followed closely by Caro and Erio who mounted on the back of a full-sized Friedrich to patrol the perimeter and keep and eye out for approaching threats. Meanwhile Stars stood by at the start of the ramp as they flew over the ruins themselves. As per their briefing they could see the deteriorated stubs that once were walls of ancient buildings. Then they passed over the large structure in the center of the ruins. It looked fairly thin from their height and was shaped like a ring standing on its side.
"Nanoha, I think I see some people down there! By the ring thing!" announced Subaru.
Their captain peered over the edge of the ramp towards where her subordinate indicated. Even from their current height she could make out four figures in tan colored clothes. Probably some kind of military camouflage gear.
"Teana, take position to the east behind one of the ruins. Subaru, take position to the west. I'll head in from the north. Remember, we don't know their intentions so don't let your guard down."
With a kick of her legs she went into free-fall towards the unknown group below them while Teana and Subaru split behind her to their positions.
Accel Fin.
Familiar pink wings emerged from her feet to control her decent. As she approached the ground, she could see they were looking up at her, having noticed her approach. More than likely they had seen the helicopter first. Getting closer she could confirm the four humanoids as well as some kind of wheeled vehicle next to them; a robot of sorts. Three of them had what looked like projectile weapons in their hands with the fourth holding a staff.
"Raising Heart, anything on their weapons?"
Identifying: 3 Earth-made P90 submachine guns
That confirmed part of her fears that they were going to be dealing with people armed with illegal weapons. Though what struck her as weird was that they were Earth-made. Another look at the group made her notice that the outfits they wore were very similar to the uniforms soldiers wore when they went into desert environments on Earth.
Identifying: Unknown staff-based weapon. Appears to be non-magic based. Type of power source unknown
While she had hoped that the staff was just for melee combat, it seemed that there was more to it than met the eye. What bothered her was that it had no magical properties but had a power source. And an unknown one at that. She would have to keep her guard up.
Touching down several meters in front of the humanoids, Nanoha took another look at the group and they were probably doing the same about her. Their weapons where lowered, but had their hands on the grips.
"Um, hello there."
"Hello to you, too," responded the one wearing glasses.
Well they were communicating and could understand each other which was a good sign. It was a start. "I'm Captain Nanoha Takamachi of the TSAB. Identify yourselves."
Three of them turned towards their fourth member. Apparently this one was the one in charge of the group. "I'm Colonel Jack O'Neill of the US Air Force of Earth."
You seem to be coming out with some weird ideas lately...but this looks intriguing. Stargate/Nanoha Crossover!? Definitely looking forward to Pt. 2
Quote:
Originally Posted by SulliMike23
Yo folks. Sulli here, and I'm thinking of starting my first MSLN fanfic and have it be a fusion/crossover with a show that's been part of my life since I was little; and that's Star Trek. But before I get to work on it, I'd like to hear your opinions on it.
Hello and welcome to the thread! Sounds like an interesting idea. You said you can make it work, so I'm looking forward to how you put it all together.
@EvilRick: Yes! Info is good! I like the idea with the Scrolls of Darkness, that will be cool.
KOTR 17
Lance received a shock to his body by an electrical source. He woke up slowly, his vision was blurry but he could make out there were three figures in front of him. Two females and one male. Who were they? “Rise and shine, Lance, you’ve been napping for 2 days already. You must be very tired,” a girl’s voice sounded in his ears. Lance’s vision cleared and he can see things more clearly now. He found himself tied to a chair. “You three…you three must be the Knights of the Reich,” Lance said softly. “Very smart, Captain Lance. There are 8 of us actually, we’re just leaders. I am Arin, this is Lysenthia and that man is Mason,” Arin said. Lance looked at the three of them and raised an eyebrow. “I was expecting knights in shining armor, not a group of off beats. You three look unprofessional,” Lance snorted. Arin got mad and slapped his face. Lance looked at her with his dangerous look. “You just made yourself a target marked for the firing squad, missy,” Lance said.
“As if you would make it out alive. It’s bad enough that you infiltrated our hideout but you killed my Altier as well?! You deserve worse than death!” Arin yelled at him, close to tears. Lance still looked emotionless. “It wasn’t my fault. Why are you yelling at me about his death then? That ass deserved death anyway for being a traitor,” Lance said. “So you knew all along?” Mason asked. Lance nodded. “I have a friend who updates me all the time,” he said lamely. Lance looked around and gave a low whistle. “Looks like you have a nice little base. Old fashion on the outside but kinda sci-fi on the inside. Not impressive if you ask me,” Lance said in a mocking tone. Arin got angry and wanted to slap him again when Mason stopped her. “Stay down Arin, he is important to us,” Mason said. “What, you’re gonna use me to make ransom? Not on your life,” Lance said.
Mason gave a deep laugh. “Ransom? No, you are worth more than a ransom, my dear friend from Earth…or should I say, Mid-Childa,” Mason said. Lance widened his eyes in surprise. “Mid-Childa? I don’t come from Mid-Childa, I’m a Terran!” he said aloud. “That is what you think, Lance. Do you not remember the invasion 10 years ago? You were one of Arin’s tribe,” Mason said. “Speaking frankly, I think you’re lying to me. I born a Terran and always will be a Terran. Let me tell you something, old man, if you’re trying to make me join you, you’re just wasting your breath,” Lance said defensively. Mason just sighed and took a seat on a chair. “Let me narrate to you a story about your past, Lance. Maybe you can think about it,” he said.
Flashback: 10 years ago during the invasion on Arin’s tribe on the Planet-22, Lilith. You, Lance Valentine, are born Joseph Andreas on Planet-22, Lilith, about 10 light-years away from Mid-Childa. You were friends with Arin even though she was 8 years your junior. You played with her, you took care of her and you even protected her from harm. All of this happened before she met Altier. Do you know why she chose to like Altier rather than you when the war happened? That is because you abandoned her when she needed you the most. You escaped along with your cowardly family instead of trying to fight. However, while your family got killed by those insolent TSAB, you got caught, erased of your memory and put under adoption in a family on Earth. I don’t blame you if you can’t remember a thing, comrade Lance. However, you should know that you are an important person in a sense that your families were descendents of Belkan fighters and family friends of Arin’s family for many centuries. We are all Belkans and only pure Belkans can become knights while all the others are…merely followers.
You have some romantic times with Arin, so I was told. She was attached to you and even had a crush on you. I know this sounds very typical but you two are just unique. You two are inseparable. It is like the story of two Belkan lovers of old. However, all changed when the TSAB arrived to destroy the last of us Belkans, fearing that we will take over the colony in our quest of reviving the Belkan Empire. That wasn’t the point of the invasion of Lilith. The government wanted the natural resource on Lilith, that is all they wanted and they didn’t care about the people. The village where you and Arin stayed has significant amounts of resources and that is why they invaded. Initially, we never had such thoughts of forming our own organization as we have now but because of that incident, we decided to crush the current government and establish our own government. I have a feeling that the current community is suffering under Mid-Childan rule.
Lance listened intently but said nothing. He wasn’t sure whether to believe it or not. “You still don’t believe me, don’t you?” Mason asked Lance. Lance stared at Mason and shook his head. “I still think you’re lying. The TSAB won’t do such atrocities,” he said. Arin stood in front of Lance with her arms crossed. “Look, you are really naïve for a veteran fighter. You have warrior’s blood in you and yet you do not know it. I can prove that you are Joseph Andreas by telling you why you hide your half your face behind that piece of cloth. The muscles on your lower face were burnt away by that Nanoha Takamachi!” she said angrily while ripping of Lance’s mask. There were barely muscles and most of it was artificial muscles over bare bone. “You…you knew all along?” Lance asked. “How could I not remember the one that I use to have a crush on?!” she yelled at him and cried. Lance was silent but he didn’t show much emotion.
“Lance, you shouldn’t do that to her. All she wants is you to come back to her. She is old enough for your deeper love now,” Lysenthia said softly. Mason got up from his chair and scratched his back. “Well, we’ll leave you two alone for now. If you need anything, tell us,” Mason said. He and Lysenthia left the room. Back at the city of Cranagan, Nanoha had a tingling feeling in her chest, as if something was telling her that something was very wrong. She checked her watch: 1500 hours. The day seemed slow and somehow she felt worried about something. It wasn’t Vivio but who or what?
“Nanoha, can I have a word with you?” Hayate called out from behind her. Nanoha turned around and saw Hayate with Signum. “What is it, Hayate?” Nanoha asked. “I’m attending a court to testify for the three’s innocence. I need you to take temporary control of the TSAB while I’m gone. Can you do that for me?” she asked. Nanoha nodded and saluted. “Don’t worry, I can take care of it for you,” she said with a grin. “Then I leave the TSAB to you. If there are any attacks, don’t hesitate to take action. If we let Cranagan fall into enemy hands, we’re doomed,” she said. Hayate turned around and left the street Nanoha was in. Signum was left alone with Nanoha. “You know, lately Hayate has been very dark and dangerous. This is really getting me worried. If she continues being like that, she would be just as same as our previous master,” Signum said. “So your previous master is like that?” Nanoha asked.
Signum nodded. “Aye, he is a man worried about almost anything but he has a powerful ambition. We were merely slaves. At least now we have a new lease on life ever since we were owned by Hayate. Her attitude now is what worries us,” Signum said while a snowflake landed on her pink hair. Nanoha kept silent and looked forward towards the path that Hayate taken earlier. “I wonder why she is so worried,” Nanoha mumbled. Suddenly, they heard gunshots and railguns being fired. Smoke rose from the east side of the city. “Damn, are they trying to rev up another offensive move?” Signum growled angrily. She activated her weapon and moved out. Nanoha followed behind. At the scene of the attack, anarchist fighters charged towards the defensive positions held by the Mid-Childans. Terran soldiers and combat engineers rushed to the frontlines and deployed their latest weapon: Sonic Resonator Cannons. It fired high frequency sonic shockwaves that has the ability to liquefy body cells and collapse structures (I’m not kidding, in theory it should be able to do that and the scientists might be researching on such weapons. Check Wikipedia). Just another powerful yet energy costly weapon, how typical.
“Damn, they have the nerve to attack Cranagan like that!” a mage said. They fired magic attacks at the anarchists while the anarchists fired back with a mix of magic attacks and bullets. The Terran soldiers did not help in the attack. They only set up the automated cannons and got out from the frontlines. “Those double-crossers are abandoning us! I knew we can’t trust the Terrans!” someone yelled. Just then, artillery shells bombed the area, severely damaging the enemy’s ranks. Looking behind, the mages saw howitzers and heavy battle tanks firing at the enemies. One Terran tank driver crowed in excitement. “It’s about time we saw some action! I’ve been waiting on Earth for far too long! Now that the portal is open, let’s give the enemy a piece of our technological power!” he yelled. At the same time, hundreds of soldiers and Assault-Hunter Shock Troopers rushed forth towards the enemy ranks.
Hayate stood on a building and smiled softly, satisfied. “That is one blessing the Mid-Childans might learn how to appreciate. Rein, tell Commander Gilbert that we have this mission accomplished,” she said. For the first time since the anarchists begun their conquest, she gave a smile like she used to when she was younger. Above in the skies, hundreds of Terran troopships transporting reinforcements and supplies exited the dimension portal.
Corrected a few things, gave the girls more conversation, added a few hundred words, re-worded a couple of sentences, changed Syn taking her bra off to leaving it on, and a few other misc. things.
Enjoy~
Spoiler for PS!Vivio commentary:
I did! And I must say, I really enjoyed this reworked chapter because it did a good job of adding details that weren't as fleshed out the first time around. As you might recall, I managed to completely miss the fact that Syn was a virgin, largely getting snowed by her touchy-feely, sexually-aggressive, always-trying-to-get-Vivio's-clothes-off-behavior during the "dating" arc. This version did a much better job of getting across Syn's issues, her eagerness and frustration but mixing in some hesitation as well. And, of course, by making Syn's status more evident, it's easier to enjoy the gag of the virgin desperately trying (and failing!) to get the porn star in the sack...
While I'm not sure if you actually changed anything--maybe it's just that reading the story in this fashion does a better job of putting it into my head?--I'm also better appreciating the odd balance in Vivio's personality, where she really is more comfortable than Syn with nudity and exposing her body, but hesitant as soon as an emotional context is placed around the situation.
Not everything is perfect, of course. Probably because this chapter was made by smoothing together several separate and much shorter chapters, things are a bit choppy; I can't really explain it too well in words, but the "flow" of events is kind of herky-jerky now and again. One mistake that's caught my attention here and in several of your fics is the use of "blond," the masculine spelling, for a female. Yuuno is blond, but Fate, Vivio, and Arisa are blonde.
There's one sentence that even I, who am probably too fond of the passive voice for my own good, think is a bit of a train wreck: "The water was turned on and the soap was found." (when Syn's washing dishes). Especially since it's part of a paragraph where Syn is the subject, it would have read much better as, for example: "She found the soap, then turned on the water."
It also strikes me as amazing that you managed to write an entire novella about Vivio's career as a porn star without making at least one gag about how she has the largest bosom of the entire StrikerS cast. On the other hand, I didn't make that connection, either, until checking out the album in Keroko's profile...I was way too busy looking at other things during all the scenes where the Sankt Kaiser was on stage while watching the series, and...come to think of it, you never finished StrikerS, did you?
Anyway, I have to say that I quite enjoyed the first three chapters of the revised and collected PornStar!Vivio, and am looking forward to the remainder of the story!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evangelion Xgouki
Well here's something a bit weird...
Spoiler for Visitors, pt. 1:
*snippage*
Okay, I offically want to see more of this. Now. Seven or eight chapters by morning, at the least. Get writing!
Seriously, you really put more energy into your cracky crossovers than anyone I know (in the sense of structuring them as true stories rather than taking the kind of narrative shortcuts usually crack-fics, including my own), and it really tells in the quality of the read. In fact, it's inspired me to suck it up and go read Divided Destiny, which has heretofore been putting me off by the sheer number of chapters that exist (really, it's hard to get a vote in when I need to read 20+ chapters just to catch up to where the story is!), but you've more than proven it's worth the effort.
*looks around, notes that not even half of the backlog has been actually broken, and passes out*
At Riot Force 6, the three Aces of the TSAB stood together in a secure room. A single, large screen hovered before them with audio and visual capabilities.
"Are you sure this is alright, Hayate?"
She nodded to reassure her friend. "Relax, Fate-chan. We are acting within protocol. It's risky enough allowing some unknown group into our base without heavy security in the first place." Her attention went back to the screen as one of the unknown people began to talk.
Jack O'Niell grumbled from his seat in the conference room. "They took our guns..."
"Of course they took our weapons, Jack," responded the bi speckled one identified as Daniel Jackson. "You should be used to it by now. At least they didn't take our clothes as well."
"But they took our guns."
Daniel sighed and shook his head. This time the lone female of the group, Samantha Carter spoke up. "Look at it this way: at least it seems they wish to talk with us peacefully."
"Yea, Jack. That's a good thing."
"However we cannot let our guard down," interjected the larger, dark skinned male. "There have been numerous time when we have encountered civilizations that appeared peaceful but hid insidious plans."
Daniel rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Not helping, Teal'c..."
"Well from what I've noticed so far we appear to be on some sort of military base," surmised Samantha. "The various uniforms might be like ours and symbolized different branches. Not to mention this organization has both males and female which would indicate some equal gender rights."
"And they appear to be in possession of advance technology," added Teal'c. "I took notice of several of these people interacting with hovering displays as well as an apparent lack of fossil fuels being used."
Jack drummed his fingers on the table. "Alright so they have some advanced technology. We'll just have to have a little talk with them when they come back." He turned to Samantha. "This world still doesn't seem any different than others we've been to. It would seem the 9th symbol didn't do much on the Stargate other than bring us to meet some magical girls, Carter."
Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "Magical girls, O'Niell?"
"Yea, you know. Those girls who get magical powers to battle evil in fancy outfits with their talking pets."
"Uh..." Daniel decided to intervene. "It's a type of show back on Earth, Teal'c. They're fantasy shows that usually come from Japan about girls who use magic."
"I see."
"Oh come on, Daniel," exclaimed Jack. "You can't tell me that that wasn't the first thing that came to your mind when you saw that one come flying down with her pink wings and staff?"
"Uh...I'm sure there's some kind of explanation for it. Maybe some kind of compact energy flight system?"
Not one to give up, Jack turned to Samantha. "What about you, Carter?"
"I'm going to have to go with Daniel on this one, sir. With all we've encountered so far we can't ignore the fact that they have some technology that makes personal flight possible. Even the wings of energy aren't outside the realm of possibility."
His head met with the table. "I give up..."
The conference room door opened, drawing all of their attention. Hayate stepped inside, followed by Nanoha, Fate and her Knights. Just outside the door they could make out at least two guards standing watch.
"Good afternoon. I'm Lieutenant Colonel Hayate Yagami. I hope you are all doing well?"
"Ah, yes. Thank you Lieutenant Colonel. I'm Daniel Jackson and these are by companions Colonel Jack O'Niell, Major Samantha Carter and Teal'c."
She nodded at them. "You've already met Captain Nanoha Takamachi and Fate Harlaown. These behind me are Second Lieutenant Signum, Second Lieutenant Vita, Shamal, and Zafira. We would like to welcome you to Riot Force 6."
"Thank you, Lieutenant Colonel Yagami," came in Jack. His eyes wandered over the newcomers for a moment and briefly wondered why she brought in a dog, and a blue one at that, with her. "I'm sure you want to get down to business."
Hayate leaned back in her chair and nodded. "That is correct, Colonel. From what you told the captains you arrived from Earth via this 'Stargate' in the ruins. If it had not been us that found you, all of your would have been arrested and imprisoned for the possession of illegal projectile weapons."
"You mean our P90s?" asked Samantha.
"Yes. You see the possession and use of those types of weapons is illegal under the laws of the TSAB. We only use magic-based weapons."
That comment got all of their attention. "Magic-based weapons?" reiterated Daniel.
A slight grin formed on Hayate's face. "Correct. It would seem your guess holds some truth, Colonel O'Niell. By some definition you could all us 'magical girls' though there are also males who are able to use magic."
Jack blinked and leaned back in his chair. "Oh boy..."
That sounds interesting and crazy... and I'd like crazy things
BTW: Welcome to the forums
I did a few shorts on that type of crossover already
Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin
Okay, I offically want to see more of this. Now. Seven or eight chapters by morning, at the least. Get writing!
But I have important things I need to tend to
Like saving Azeroth >_>
Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin
Seriously, you really put more energy into your cracky crossovers than anyone I know (in the sense of structuring them as true stories rather than taking the kind of narrative shortcuts usually crack-fics, including my own), and it really tells in the quality of the read. In fact, it's inspired me to suck it up and go read Divided Destiny, which has heretofore been putting me off by the sheer number of chapters that exist (really, it's hard to get a vote in when I need to read 20+ chapters just to catch up to where the story is!), but you've more than proven it's worth the effort.
Might be a standard I have for myself what when I write it has to read well. Even with crack I usually get stopped up in how to write the intro and then lead up to the crack which can delay me a bit .I guess this means I should keep up with how I'm writing now?
Yo folks. Sulli here, and I'm thinkin gof starting my first MSLN fanfic and have it be a fusion/crossover with a show that's been part of my life since I was little; and that's Star Trek. But before I get to work on it, I'd like to hear your opinions on it.
Sounds... logical.
Welcome to the thread, all the helpful stuff is in my signature. You're welcome to join the chatroom too!
2009-01-08, 19:28
Author
Page claim 
.I guess this means I should keep up with how I'm writing now? 
