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Old 2008-08-03, 04:25   Link #681
Samari
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Join Date: Oct 2007
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Orchunter226 View Post
He must have already been very confident in himself, and had high self-esteem. I have found that reading books never much improve those nervous thoughts you get before you ask a girl out. Books never really helped with the butterflies in the stomach before you make your first move.

But then, I guess everyone's different. Maybe some people are able to get confidence from reading. But, I'm sure they are few and far between.
But research isn't just limited to reading books.
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Old 2008-08-03, 04:27   Link #682
Samari
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Originally Posted by zebra View Post
The best way to appraoch someone, specially girls, is to use humor.
That's exactly how the person I met went about his approach. Humor. It's all in good fun.
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Old 2008-08-13, 02:14   Link #683
UltimaWolf
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Old 2008-08-13, 14:51   Link #684
Amirali
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ledgem View Post
There's nothing wrong with giving it a lot of thought, but what Orchunter226 says is absolutely true. You can read about it, discuss it, and even go through simulations in your mind, but reality is very different. Being able to handle yourself and interact with others is something that can only be perfected through experience.

If you lack confidence or are completely clueless, I'd still recommend doing your research. And I don't say that in a condescending manner - after all, I did it too. However, actually getting out there and proving to yourself that you can talk to girls or even ask a girl out, whether she says yes or no, will do a lot for you.
.
I'd agree with that, and further claim that it helps to be social with people, not simply target guys or girls. If you're good at striking up casual talk and friendships with people you meet, it'll pay dividends with girls eventually. Hey, at the very least you'll probably make a few new friends.

Plus, it looks kinda creepy if someone is only approaching the girls for chit-chat, and ignoring his own gender.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mystique View Post
It may be obvious to you guys.. but then you're guys. we speak a slightly different language, like I said, if you've settled into our hearts, you've turned us mushy.
You make the girl feel warm and safe and you're reliable and dependable and to be honest, it is nice to have friendships that are just platonic and nice like that.
Relationships require risk, they require a leap of faith and to some girls, we don't wanna risk that nice happy warm zone, we just wanna leave it is it is.
Mystique, that was quite an inspirational post . Not much I can comment on, except this little bit in the middle. I'd say that can apply to guys as well as girls. If I have a friend who I dearly value, I would hate for any romantic tension to make things tense, or for her to get uncomfortable because she feels I'm crushing on her. Sometimes, a guy really is just looking for a nice hug instead of a hump.

Last edited by Amirali; 2008-08-13 at 15:21.
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Old 2008-08-13, 16:56   Link #685
Mystique
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amirali1985 View Post
Mystique, that was quite an inspirational post . Not much I can comment on, except this little bit in the middle. I'd say that can apply to guys as well as girls. If I have a friend who I dearly value, I would hate for any romantic tension to make things tense, or for her to get uncomfortable because she feels I'm crushing on her. Sometimes, a guy really is just looking for a nice hug instead of a hump.
Are people still attempting to read that mini novella i wrote?! xD
You're welcome for the inspiration, i kinda got worked up and had to state that all, I'm afraid.
As for guys wanting hugs only... okay you're in your early twenties, i semi believe you, lol.
But with that see, a few male friends sometimes tell me it's nice to snuggle and cuddle up and get comfy on a nice pair of breasts or if we're in your arms, then your arms (not hands) will gently lay on them...

I'm not sure what to make of that *laughs* but i cannot beleive a guy has innocent thoughts 100% of the time (short of being distraught)
Also the only kind of ... girl that a guy would hug and adore without potential gf thoughts has to either be a 'Miss Nice-girl' (yes we exist too) or a mother like figure. (Which makes us wanna hang ourselves if we're still single)

But that's my interpretation on the female side, maybe some guys here can add on what kind of girls would make friend only material
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Old 2008-08-13, 17:27   Link #686
Amirali
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First off, the "hug vs hump" was more of a metaphor than a literal statement about innocent hugging. But since it's fun, let me try and expand on that more .
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mystique View Post
But with that see, a few male friends sometimes tell me it's nice to snuggle and cuddle up and get comfy on a nice pair of breasts or if we're in your arms, then your arms (not hands) will gently lay on them...

I'm not sure what to make of that *laughs* but i cannot beleive a guy has innocent thoughts 100% of the time (short of being distraught)
100% innocent? Most probably not. But it can be fun to hug a warm girl, without letting your hands wander places they shouldn't. Many of the boy-girl friendships I've seen have a bit of light banter and flirting going on, and that works fine once both parties are comfortable about the limits.
Some guys appreciate having an attractive woman as a friend, while sincerely not wanting more. However, if a guy says he doesn't notice at all.......he's lying. But you already have pointed out much the same in your earlier post .

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mystique View Post
Also the only kind of ... girl that a guy would hug and adore without potential gf thoughts has to either be a 'Miss Nice-girl'
I like the Miss Nice-girl type. Anyway, I'd agree a hug is not something one indulges in casually. Only close friends (male or female) get that treatment. As for the "potential gf" thoughts, they may pop into one's head occasionally, but if a guy is already settled in his romantic life, it's not really an issue.
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Old 2008-09-08, 09:14   Link #687
Miko Miko
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: England
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Hi Hi! I need some helpp

okay I am dating this guyy,, he is 18.. my mum has no problem with it but i am worried if my dad finds out. He would kill me!!! He knows who the guy is but he has no idea we are going out. I dont know if i should be honest with him or keep hiding it from him.
EVERYONE knows.. except him
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Old 2008-09-08, 09:59   Link #688
MikoKikyo
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And you're 14? Which country are you in, j/w? It depends on how serious you are, if it turns out it was nothing, there's no reason to get your dad involved. But if it becomes more serious you'll have to tell your dad sooner or later. But since you're 14 and he's 18, it's probably not very serious...
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Old 2008-09-08, 10:06   Link #689
Ascaloth
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Join Date: Nov 2006
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miko Miko View Post
Hi Hi! I need some helpp

okay I am dating this guyy,, he is 18.. my mum has no problem with it but i am worried if my dad finds out. He would kill me!!! He knows who the guy is but he has no idea we are going out. I dont know if i should be honest with him or keep hiding it from him.
EVERYONE knows.. except him
You again, Imouto-chan?

Eh well, you're not exactly giving away a lot of context here. Why would your dad kill you if he finds out you're going out with your current beau? Is it because the latter really does look like "the bad sort", or is it just daddy being daddy? How come your mom is fine with it? Lastly, how sure are you that daddy doesn't already know?

Joking aside, I would personally think that keeping secrets never leads to anything good. Try getting your mom and your beau to sit down together with you and dad over tea or something, and thrash things out nicely. Better than the inevitable leak of the secret which is gonna make daddy blow his top.
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Old 2008-09-08, 18:36   Link #690
AceD
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Join Date: Jul 2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fome View Post
Ever feel like the girl/guy you like is way out of your league?.
nope, am hot
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Old 2008-09-08, 22:03   Link #691
MikoKikyo
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Wow. Hot, British, and anime-watcher. Quite a package deal. There are no guys like that in my area.
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Old 2008-09-09, 07:50   Link #692
Phantom-Takaya
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PriestessKikyo View Post
Wow. Hot, British, and anime-watcher. Quite a package deal. There are no guys like that in my area.
Yep. Because personality sure doesn't matter...
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Old 2008-09-09, 07:59   Link #693
-KarumA-
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Join Date: Jul 2004
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PriestessKikyo View Post
Wow. Hot, British, and anime-watcher. Quite a package deal. There are no guys like that in my area.
same here, I wish there were guys liek that in my area but I guess they're all hidding
onyl problem Ive ever had with guys is morals and standards, I was raised with indonesian standards and most other dutchies don't understand a thing about my livestyle, let alone the things I eat
other than that only idiots dare to come up to me and flirt, idiots youd ont want to get involved with.. where ooh where have the good men gone
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Old 2008-09-09, 08:20   Link #694
klowny
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Join Date: May 2007
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miko Miko View Post
Hi Hi! I need some helpp

okay I am dating this guyy,, he is 18.. my mum has no problem with it but i am worried if my dad finds out. He would kill me!!! He knows who the guy is but he has no idea we are going out. I dont know if i should be honest with him or keep hiding it from him.
EVERYONE knows.. except him
you can hide him in your closet and keep him hidden under a pile or clothes or the skeletons. hiding something is almost like feeling ashamed isn't it?
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Old 2008-09-09, 15:39   Link #695
AceD
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PriestessKikyo View Post
Wow. Hot, British, and anime-watcher. Quite a package deal. There are no guys like that in my area.
oww, well i blame my gf for getting me into anime !

http://forums.animesuki.com/showthre...?t=44&page=396 go judge for yourself i guess
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Old 2008-09-09, 16:53   Link #696
MikoKikyo
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Ok you're hot. But I'm not going to fangirl-drool over you as you have a gf

Quote:
Originally Posted by -KarumA- View Post
same here, I wish there were guys liek that in my area but I guess they're all hidding
onyl problem Ive ever had with guys is morals and standards, I was raised with indonesian standards and most other dutchies don't understand a thing about my livestyle, let alone the things I eat
other than that only idiots dare to come up to me and flirt, idiots youd ont want to get involved with.. where ooh where have the good men gone
Yes, I feel your pain

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phantom-Takaya View Post
Yep. Because personality sure doesn't matter...
Um, not when you're hot & have a british accent
just kidding. but really, watching anime and having the guts to post on an anime message board already shows some personality.
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Old 2008-09-13, 18:09   Link #697
Samari
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Whoops, bad post.
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Old 2008-09-15, 15:33   Link #698
farren8
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Originally Posted by Komataguri View Post
Its easy to get a girl to say yes if shes blind and you have the voice of Barry White
haha, awesome!
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Old 2008-09-19, 22:04   Link #699
WanderingKnight
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Okay, I normally hate posting this kind of stuff but I'm kinda dumbfounded at the moment so I'll give it a shot:

I've just discovered that the girl I've been flirting with for some days now is not only missing half a brain, but also points the other half towards some sort of strange form of white supremacism/neonazism. She's not exactly a neonazi poster child, but she has these... opinions, you know. Figures something like that would've been hiding in a girl who's the child of a 79-year old German who can't even stand the idea of living in this country and not in the Mutterland.

(NOTE: Before you go gung-ho on me, I am not saying Germans are nazis. That particular German guy was born in a very specific context which gives leeway to such speculations).

Now, I've dated quite a few not-the-brightest-light-in-the-room girls, but this one beats me. She's given me some very clear signs that she wants to have something with me, and I can't say I don't feel physically attracted to her, but... I believe satisfying my carnal pleasure and dumping her would go against my principles. But there's no way in hell I can carry on a relationship with her--no way. Unless I'm supposed to attempt re-educating her from her... odd path.

So, right now I'm struggling against my innermost physical desires and my good-natured do-no-harm self. What do y'all reckon I should do?
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Old 2008-09-20, 00:02   Link #700
Ledgem
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Join Date: Mar 2003
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WanderingKnight View Post
So, right now I'm struggling against my innermost physical desires and my good-natured do-no-harm self. What do y'all reckon I should do?
It's hard to do, but think about it this way: will you regret it in either case? You know yourself better than any of us. Maybe regret and self-respect wouldn't play out for you in this case, but it always figured into these sorts of decisions for me. Now that I am in a committed relationship for life (if she and I can help it), I can say that yes, maybe there is a bit of regret at not having "sampled around" a bit before this. The reason I never did it, however, was because I would have lost a lot of respect for myself. That was more important than any potential regret that I could have foreseen.

If you're not held back by morals and if you won't think any less of yourself, then consider going for it under one condition: this girl is a human being. You may want to clear it with her that what would happen would be something for the both of you, but it would not indicate a serious relationship. Many girls tend to view sex differently than guys; it's more an act of intimacy and closeness rather than something purely for pleasure and amusement (not that all guys view it that way - I'm going off of stereotypes and various psychological studies). If this will have potentially really hurt her and/or break her heart, don't do it. Even though the descriptions of her you've used make her seem rather despicable, it wouldn't be justified.
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